el🐾

when so many people walk in and out of the door you learn to lock it🌌

[stckwll]

[yufgoi5]

[gingerbronson]

[colorgrl]

[running2neverl4nd]

Now make sure when you tell people why we ended you tell them that it’s because you chose temporary lust over unconditional love. Leave the emotional bullshit for the birds.

LaniBear✨ (via running2neverl4nd)

[loveserum-deactivated20191021]

Let’s fall in love backwards Let’s shake hands while crying Let’s meet the parents on the third date Let’s tell all our friends we hate each other so that they’re happy to see us together Let’s kiss before we hold hands Let’s fuck before the movie starts Let’s sleep while we watch it Let’s end together Let’s end in 80 years excited for a future in some other universe Let’s fall in love backwards, sideways, and upside down let’s fall in love Let me fall in love with you when you don’t think you can be loved Fall in love with me when all I can see is a future by myself Let’s fall in love

backwards (via veincold)

[loveserum-deactivated20191021]

1. I got on my knees and it wasn’t for a boy. I got on my knees and I thought about everything I had eaten that day and I cried so hard my mom knocked on the door. The second time, I didn’t even hesitate. 2. Alcohol makes me feel more than anybody has since they left. I’m fucking delusional, but I’m still convinced it was real. 3. I had the pills in my hand. I shook so hard they fell to the floor and I called it a sign. Sometimes- the worst of times - I wish I had a steadier hand. 4. I need a change. I need to be a different person even if it’s for a month or six months or a lifetime, I need a change. I need something to get better. 5. I said I love you and I didn’t mean it. 6. I know it seems like I’ve got everything together, but I’ve been rehearsing the right words since I was fourteen. Believe me when I say blades really do change a person. 7. I wish I had a steadier hand.

7 Things I Don’t Tell My Friends (via veincold)

[loveserum-deactivated20191021]

I let a guy touch me and I thought I was drunk enough to make myself want it but I started shaking so hard that I had to push him away. The only time you ever made me shake that hard was when I found out about her. Nobody would ever think I’ve been in love. They can’t see any scars across the left side of my chest and they don’t feel the way my throat burns when I think about letting somebody new in. They think I’m scared, but really I can only fall for the ones that make me feel like I’d be a fool to think that they’d love me. I turned into a girl who gets drunk on tequila by herself and drinks the whole bottle of wine without wincing. I turned into the girl who became so scared of the addictive way I could love you that I made myself find an addiction that is less toxic than trying to be good enough for you. No matter how many empty bottles I go through, I still don’t let strangers get too close. I still shake so hard at the thought of someone else’s arms around me that I’ve started watching TV to help me try to fall asleep. I was never enough for you, and I’m scared I’ll never let myself stop remembering everything I need to forget.

TV screens are the only thing that put me to bed now that you’re not there to hold me (via veincold)

[acacacacacac]

Bad bitch

[multiroit1]

[justdancewithmeok-blog]

this is so satisfying

[moan-s]

[avvviso]

View this post on Instagram

[dunmertitty]

I don’t know what this is but same

[thehoneybeewitch]

this is the most relatable thing I’ve seen in 2016 to date

[3melting3rainbows3]

“cindy no, FUCK”

[savemeteion]

@asecretinside @princesshollis @tydyedshoelaces

[alittlegayjellybean]

“what are you dOING YOU’RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL”

[brilliantlybeloved]

[writingsforwinter]

The Morning After I Killed Myself

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

[shes-cured]

I needed this tonight

[thequeen117-deactivated20150917]

If you’re looking for a sign not to then this is it. My inbox is open if you think talking to a stranger will help.

[learnhowtoadult]

This is devastating and precious. Wow.

[thespiderpuppies818-deactivated]

If anyone needs this, here you go. Just remember that somebody, somewhere always cares about you.

[hurricaneclouds]

i support girls anger. i support girls who yell. i support girls who get called bitches and cunts at parties because they’ll swear at guys who won’t leave them alone. i support girls who don’t believe in second chances and cut off people who hurt them. i support girls who say no the first time and flip you off if you ask them again. i support girls who will never allow themselves to be pushovers and constantly get shit for it. you’re fucking incredible. 

[loveserum-deactivated20191021]

My friends keep asking me how I’m spending my time now that I’m not smacking chapstick with shitty mascara on the train home to you I tell them without looking them in the eye that I’ve been tying my shoes tighter so that I can run to you faster the first time I see you again I tell them that i’m practicing my best jokes so that when I see you really laugh it’s without the connection cracking I tell them I’ve been smiling into a mirror so that i can remember how to do it now that you’re not around They ask me what I’ve been doing with myself now that you’re not here to come home to and I tell them I’ve been thinking about becoming a real estate agent so that I’ll get better at finding homes that I can actually stay in

I made a home out of you (via veincold)

[katyaxco-deactivated20170609]