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ellievsbear
Acquired Stardust
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@writingsforwinter
"The spatula clattered to the ground, carrying with it droplets of grease. A baby stood outside the window, though perhaps stood was not so
Thank you so much to The Gravity of the Thing for publishing my short story "Delegate" in their Spring 2026 issue!
This is one of the first short stories I've ever written (I got into writing short stories last year!).
I stepped away from him again and I'm trying very hard to parse through all the feelings now. I simultaneously feel like it's wrong and it's right. He's finally moving back and I couldn't be anything but worried.
n.r.
It's so disorienting and confusing and maddening, isn't it? Just like you wrote in your other message after this one. <3
I would be anxious too in your shoes, but you deserve to place yourself first and foremost - and to trust yourself above all else, no matter what happens. Sending hugs and love!
"The spatula clattered to the ground, carrying with it droplets of grease. A baby stood outside the window, though perhaps stood was not so
Thank you so much to The Gravity of the Thing for publishing my short story "Delegate" in their Spring 2026 issue!
This is one of the first short stories I've ever written (I got into writing short stories last year!).
And if at the end of healing there is nothing?
— Brenda Hillman, from "the cave," Loose Sugar
New poem.
i had a particularly rough time last night, i almost ended it all again. i remembered ur poem, "the morning after i killed myself" and read it all over again hoping it could instill smth in me. it didn't. but i found ur tumblr and spent like 2 hours looking through ur personal posts abt ur trauma, and it was that which rang true to me. i still went to sleep crying my eyes out, but i'm a bit better today and i wanted to thank you still for writing that poem, and for everything else you've written in the meanwhile. you prompted me to write a poem myself last night, after 3 months during which i've sworn there was no point in me writing anymore.
This message made me so immensely relieved, glad, and joyful all in one - first, I am so incredibly glad you are still here, and I hope you continue to be here. I truly, truly do.
I wish it weren't my posts about my own trauma that resonated with you, but I am glad that from those posts, you were able to find a thread of hope and stay through the night and into the morning.
I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you for staying and for writing again. There is the biggest smile on my face knowing you wrote a poem, because I know how much that means.
I hope you write many, many more poems to come. From where I am to wherever you are, I am sending you all the love and light I can muster. <3
You deserve every small and large joy.
New poem.
New poem.
Beautiful new poem. I lost a family member this week and maybe that wasn't your intention with it but it definitely hits 💖
I hope you're doing well
n.r.
I'm so sorry to hear this, n.r.! My love and best wishes to you and your family!
Is there anything I can do?
Thank you for the kind words - I am doing well! <3
New poem.
New poem.
By Meggie Royer
what are they going to do about the fact that you can never go back
a light within me was stamped out but im chill
i think maybe i do this to myself
idk what possessed me to re-read emails from 12 years ago when i was constantly in and out of the hospital and trying to kill myself after my boyfriend at the time raped me, but here we are lmfao
some nice light bedtime reading at 10pm!!! i didn't even realize i still had these emails and that they've just been sitting there for 12 years
i think sometimes i just want to like, remind myself that i didn't make the entire thing up and that im not a terrible person like he said i was, and that i'm somebody worth loving and that im a valuable person
idk. my heart hurts tonight. im mad and sad but wtf else is new.
does anyone know who what where when and why
when i‘m trying to go go sleep but then i remember and remember and remember and remember
