Spoilers for season two. As in it takes place during the last episode. A fix it of sorts, for something I felt it would be easy to fix. If an unqualified 16 year old struggling to write anything found it that easy to write it like this it really shouldn’t have been that hard for them. Anyway. Here you go.
“Sitting alone in the dark? That’s kinda creepy.”
Justin looks up, but he doesn’t have to to know who it is. He’d recognise Alex’s voice anywhere. “Well, I’m not alone anymore.”
Alex smiles. “I think that’s creepier.”
Justin can’t help but smile back. It’s weird, this getting along with him. He supposes Alex didn’t turn him away even before, when he’d turned up to his house with nowhere else to go. It made sense, really, that he’d saved him again. A big part of him wishes he’d let him do it earlier. Wonders if he’d stayed that day, if he’d asked to sleep on Alex’s floor again instead of wandering, how different things might have been. If maybe he could have saved Alex, too.
Another thing he wishes he could go back and do differently. That he could have stopped and didn’t.
Alex is still just kind of standing there, so Justin slides a little further down the bench. Offering. Alex joins him slowly, out of inability rather than any hesitance. Justin has the strong urge to get up and help him, but he’s pretty sure Alex would hit him with his cane if he tried. He sits down next to Justin and sets it between his legs, hand draping over it casually. A familiar movement, like it’s natural.
Justin’s heart squeezes. He doesn’t like the silence, so he clears his throat. “You, uh—you look good. I like the haircut.”
He does. It’s like the old but not, probably what it was before. He always liked Alex’s bleached hair. Like it was some kind of statement, some way of saying ‘it’s mine and I’ll do whatever crazy shit I want with it’ and not caring what everyone else was going to think of that. He thinks it’s like that again, now. Another statement, just slightly different.
“Thanks.” Alex keeps his head down. “It was like, growing out a little too much and I think I missed having it like this? But it was also you, kind of.”
Justin stares at him. “Me?”
“Yeah. Kinda. It was like, when you asked me about the scars. And I said hiding them was why I grew it out. I guess I just….realised it was dumb? Probably because I’d just watched you vomit all over Clay’s floor. That you didn’t like, care about it. Everyone knows what I did. Trying to hide it seems kinda pointless. I mean the cane kinda gives it away, so.”
“Still pretty brave,” Justin says softly.
Alex looks over at him now, smiling again. “Yeah, well. I mean that’s what you’re doing too, isn’t it? Coming to the dance, saying fuck you to all the assholes who thought you wouldn’t?”
That’s pretty accurate. It’s basically what he told Clay, trying to get him to come. He hadn’t said anything about it to Alex, though, because he hasn’t really spoken to him at all. Yet he knows exactly what Justin feels. He understands, the way Alex always does, somehow.
He nods and Alex adds, “You don’t look so bad, either. Although I’ve seen you look really shitty recently so I don’t know if that’s much of a compliment.”
Justin shakes his head. “You’re never going to let that go now, are you?”
Alex shrugs and his smile widens. “No. I’m hoping if I annoy you about it enough I won’t have to see it again. It was pretty fucking scary.”
He looks as if it genuinely was. Justin’s smile drops, and his heart squeezes again. At least it means Alex doesn’t know, doesn’t it? At least it means it’s not that noticeable. It won’t be, either. He’s being careful this time. He just needs a little bit, just to stop it hurting so much.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I actually thanked you so like, thanks.”
Alex shrugs again. “It’s not like I was going to just leave you. It was like….intense physical therapy.”
“Right,” Justin nods, and only realises then how thankful he is. If Alex hadn’t gotten there when he did, Justin wouldn’t be here now. Alex shouldn’t have been able to turn him. It was obviously difficult. It probably even hurt. But he did it.
Justin is suddenly really proud of him.
Alex lets out a startled laugh. “Are you sure you’re not high?”
He should really just stop talking. He forces a smile instead of looking away like he wants to, because he knows Alex would figure it out. Would know that he was right. Alex’s smile drops, though, and he gets that concerned furrow in his brow. “Hey, you okay? I saw you talking to Bryce. He was just being an asshole.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I know. He’s transferring anyway, right? I never have to see his asshole face again.”
“I know,” Alex hesitates. “But I…I guess that’s what I’m asking?”
Justin’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“I just thought it might be hard, or whatever. Like I know you hate him now and I’m really glad but it doesn’t mean everything else is just, gone. I wasn’t able to go to watch you testify but I asked Clay about it. I just know you’ve been through a lot like, with him. Before everything. And I don’t know if anyone’s asked you so I guess I’m just wondering if you’re okay.”
Alex is so sincere as he says it. There’s not an ounce of hesitance or annoyance in his voice and Justin can’t help once again being grateful for him. Alex is really fucking cool. He wishes he hadn’t fucked everything up so badly with him.
“I’m fine,” Justin assures, and it comes out choked. He clears his throat and adds, “Really. I’m just ready to see him go.”
Alex nods, and his smile’s back again. It eases Justin a little and he reaches over and flicks the boy’s cane. “It would’ve been cool if you actually did bedazzle it.”
“Wow,” Alex’s brows raise. “That word should never come out of your mouth. Be glad I’m the only one that heard it. Maybe I would have if I had more than one hand to do it,” he eyes the cane, twisting it around curiously and Justin smiles.
“Maybe I could help you with it. Obviously you’d be the designer but I could like, just do whatever you tell me. Everyone would freak if you showed up to school with a fucking shiny ass cane.”
Alex laughs again, and Justin’s amazed at how easy it seems to be to get it out of him. It gives him this weird feeling of pride. “A chance to boss you around? I can’t see any reason why not.”
Justin grins. They sit in comfortable silence for a moment, and Justin realises the ache in him has seeped away and isn’t coming back. He feels a kind of peace, just sitting here with someone. He wonders if he could just sit next to Alex instead, maybe he wouldn’t need to shoot up. It’s a ridiculous, weird kind of thought, but he kind of wishes it could work.
“Why’d you come looking for me?”
“Oh,” Alex blinks. “You were missing for the group hug.”
“They started playing ‘The Night We Met’,” Alex explains. “Would have helped him, having his new brother there.”
“Ugh, don’t say shit like that yet. It’s still weird,” Justin shakes his head. Then, “Actually it’ll always be weird. Just don’t say shit like that.”
Alex knocks his cane against Justin’s leg. “Point is you weren’t there. So I offered to come look for you. I told them I had to use the bathroom anyway but I think I kind of knew you wouldn’t be there and hoped wherever you actually were you’d be sitting down?”
Justin smiles. He gets that. “Tired from all the dancing?”
“Yes,” Alex sighs. “Like always tired. I kinda suck anyway, probably with the whole only one working leg.”
He doesn’t sound self-pitying whenever he talks about it like that. But he’s not blunt, either. It’s kind of joking, Justin thinks, and he isn’t sure if that’s what he should be doing but if it’s working for him, Justin’s in no position to tell him to stop. He doesn’t really think it’s doing any harm, anyway. Alex just knows what he did and it sucks to deal with but he’s doing it. Justin kind of admires him for it.
“Jess doesn’t seem to mind,” he says lightly.
Alex’s expression turns cautious. “Yeah, well, it’s Jess. She gets it, I guess.”
Justin nods. The question slips out before he can stop it. “You guys a thing again?”
“Uhm. Yeah.” Alex looks at him. “I don’t. It’s still pretty new again and we’re not like, making a big deal of it because we’re still kind of dealing with things, and…everything.”
“You know it’s not—it’s cool to be upset about it. Or like pissed, or whatever. At me or, either of us. I know you love her. I don’t want it to suck for you. I don’t want it to hurt you so you think you have to, hurt yourself. I don’t want to find you like that again.”
Justin softens. It does suck. It sucks a whole fucking lot and it hurts like a bitch. He’s so happy to see Jess happy, to see her smiling, but it sucks.
But it’s Alex. And he’s kinda happy to see him happy, too. He’s definitely upset and he can’t stop that, but he can’t be pissed. He doesn’t really know why, but he can’t. It’s just Alex.
“You’re good for her,” is all he says, quiet.
Alex smiles, and it’s brighter than any one he’s given him tonight. Justin really can’t fucking be pissed at him. He nudges Justin shoulder with his own. “I could be good for you too, you know. I mean, I did already save your life.”
This time Justin laughs, these short breaths coming out of his nose. “You think so?”
“Totally,” Alex nods. “I’m like the best wingman now. Chicks see you hanging out with the injured guy? You’re instantly ten times more adorable.”
“Are you ten times more adorable as the actual injured guy?”
Alex tilts his head. “I don’t know. Am I?”
Justin’s smiling. He shakes his head. “Sure, Alex.”
The other boy grins. “Good.” He glances at the door. “We should probably get back, or there’ll be a search party for both of us.”
“I’m sure they wouldn’t miss me that much.”
Alex gives him a deadpan look. “Clay’s parents are literally adopting you. Zach’s basically going crazy without a sports friend. And Jessica is glad you’re back, Justin,” he says gently. “I am too.”
Justin ducks his head, looking up at him under his lashes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Alex rolls his eyes. “You big fucking puppy.” He nudges him again, only smiling when Justin smiles and adding, “Now are you gonna help me up, or…?”
“Starting your wingman duties already?”
“Fuck you, Foley. I take back the offer.”
“No, you don’t.” Justin’s still smiling as he stands, turning to Alex. He grips his arm lightly and waits until he has a comfortable hold on his cane before pulling him up. He lets one hand hover at his waist, just in case Alex needs it but he gets up with barely any struggle.
When he’s on his feet, Justin takes Alex’s free hand and places it in the crook of his elbow, resting his own over it.
Alex gives him a look, but Justin can see the smile he’s holding back and he grins. “I said I’d be your wingman not your date.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t complain.”
Alex shakes his head, but the smile’s made its way out now. “You’re an idiot. Come on, before I change my mind.”
“You can’t take it away anyway.”
“This cane doubles as a weapon and I have no problem using it.”
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