“To have your eyes on a little me that would be fine forever.”
“So you’re trying to kill my child again?”
I’m infuriated right now. I arrived a little over ten minutes ago and we’ve been arguing well I’ve been yelling and she’s been crying.
“It’s not like that Maurice let’s just sit down and talk about this for a second.”
“You weren’t going to tell me. I had to find out from Rita.”
She begins sniffling uncontrollably her chest is heaving up and down. Her words are becoming inaudible. She’s just pacing around her bedroom in tears.
I grab a hold to her waist cradling against her neck. I pick her up to place her on her bed. I lie next to her and press her body against mines.
“I’m just so scared. What if I’m not a great mom? What if we break up once the baby’s born?”
“In order for us to break up we have to get back together first. Baby you know I will never abandon you or my child.”
She reclines her head on my chest and sighs. I kiss the strays of hair that are sticking up from her wig.
“What the fuck are we really doing Amber Giselle Thomas?”
We have to be in this to win this now. We are having a child a baby is serious business. We have to be together. I want us to be a family.
“As of right now we’re laying down Christopher.”
“Dont be a smart ass Amber. I’m ready for us to be together again. I miss you. I need you.”
“I need you too but I’m so scared. Ok I’ll try this again under one condition. If you go to therapy with me so we can hash out all of our problems.”
“Ok cool that’s fine with me.”
I’m willing to do anything for this to work. I can’t keep walking around the world with my other half missing. She is the mother of my child for a second time around. This must be God’s fate. I need her.
“You really mean that baby daddy?
She begins kissing the side of my jaw and gnawing at my ears.
“I love you so much. I’m ready for us to be one again. Lets make it work Chris.”
I could only smile at the whole outcome of this. I’m not even mad anymore
“First things first we are going to the doctor in the morning.’ I say sternly
She extends her arms in the air and releases a soft yawn. He eyelids flutter before she closes them. In no time she’s lightly snoring against me.
______________________________________________
Me and Amber are awaiting the results of the baby in agony. The nurse ensured us that everything would be ok, but you never know with these things.
“Are you ok baby?” I stroke Amber’s hand as she nervously giggles. The nurse walks back in with a clipboard in her hands.
“Ok mommy and daddy to be from my research it says here you are ten weeks. Congratulations you two.”
“I can’t wait to have my little princess running around she’s going to be so cute.” Amber says
“Oh hell nah I’m going to have to break these little niggas neck. I want a son first then a daughter so he can protect her.
“First time parents huh?” She inquires as she scribbles down on a notepad.
“Something like that.” Amber mumbles in a somber tone
“Everything seems pretty normal but for the little one I want you to intake more fruits for vitamins and here’s a prescription for your prenatal.
If you want to work you still can treat your life as normal as possible. You can still have your modeling gigs and outings.”
Amber smiled at that. I know it’s been a while since she was in the spotlight after everything that transpired months back.
“That’s great to hear that Nurse Jones.” She smiled
I gave her a piggy back to the car she held on for dear life. I look to the left and there were a few cameras flashing. Fuck someone must have told the papz we were here.
“It was only a matter of time before they found out anyway.” Amber whispered in my ear.
I’m nervous about tonight Chris and I decided to have dinner at his to tell everyone the news. Tianna, Barry, my mom, mama J and Rita will all be in attendance. We had to do damage control and fast. Everyone would be upset if they found out through the blogs about what was happening.
The doorbell chimes causes me to peer my head over to the left. I removed my apron and picked up my gloves to take my homemade buffalo chicken lasagna from the oven. It’s Chris’s favorite dish. I remove the butter garlic toast from the bottom rack then I proceed to trot towards the door.
“Hi pumpkin.” My mother greets me with Joyce following suite. They became the best friends a while ago. They do everything together including bible studies and brunches. I think it’s kind of cute.
Joyce smiles brightly exposing those deep dimples I love to see. She holds me tightly her embraces always feel warm.
“Something smells good in here. Where’s that knucklehead son of mines?”
“He’s in the shower mama.”
Mama Joyce and Evelyn immediately try to take over the kitchen. They walk over to the pantry to pull out different seasonings and things to prepare.
“Oh no you two old ladies sit down. I got this. Dinner is already ready” I say putting my feet down.
“Well alright I’ll just pour a little wine.” My mother grabs three glasses and fills them to the rim.
“No mommy I really can’t drink right now.” I protest
“Come on pumpkin the cook always needs a little something.” She encourages.
“Stop trying to get my girl to drink mama in law.” Chris appears in the kitchen looking fine as ever. I bite down on my body left feeling myself get moist.
The jingling of keys turn our attention the door. Barry, Tianna and Rita all walk in at the same time. Thank God now I can eat. The little one is hungry.
Chris begins to set the table in his dining room, he places silverware down and glasses.
“Something must be going on. My baby bringing out his good plates.” Mama J chuckles
Once everyone was properly seated they begin to dig in the pasta with their forks. The mmms coming from their mouths were enough to let me know I threw down.
“Damn baby I swear I have to marry you. This is always so good.”Chris says
“Ok come on with the important announcement.” Mijo speaks for the first time since saying hi to everyone.
I take a deep breath swallowing a wad of spit. Chris strokes my thigh for encouragement.
“We’re having a baby.” Chris says loudly.
“Thats awesome lil bro.” Mijo says
“Thank God.” Rita sighs in relief. I playfully roll my eyes at her.
“I’m going to be an auntie.” Titi says
“My babies.” Joyce coos with tears on the brim of her eyes. My mother jogs over to where I am and begins rubbing my small pudge.
Everyone’s excitement made me tear up. I wasn’t expecting these reactions then again the people in this room always wanted me and Chris to be together no matter what.
Seeing my family this happy made me happy. Chris has loved Amber since meeting her years ago. He’s never loved anyone the way he does her.
“Since we’re dropping bombs me and Mijo have something to say too.” I look over to Tianna
Chris is going to kill me, dig up my body then bury me again. Amber will probably curse us out.
“We eloped in Vegas a few days ago.” Tianna dangles her diamond ring as I fiddle with my wedding band.
“You sneaky motherfuckers. I was supposed to be your maid of honor.”Amber spews
“Don’t mind her and her hormones I’m happy for you brother. You’re lowkey and aren’t the flashy type anyway you hate attention. That was the perfect way to do it.”
“Thanks wonder twin. I just want to be a great husband.”
Things have been looking up for me lately. I have my wife and now I have joint custody of my son. After his mother realized using him as collateral to hurt me was only hurting him she started to think more rationally.
“All my babies are doing so well I’m proud.”
I love Joyce so much my mother passed away when I was young I met Chris at fourteen and he’s been my family ever since. His mom is my mom, his cousins are my cousins and so on and so on.
Dinner was now over and the women were upstairs talking about girl shit like romance and crimping hair. Me and my brother was in the basement playing video games.
“What is it truly like to be a dad Barry?”
“Man Chris it’s indescribable it’s the most beautiful thing. You have an extension of you walking around the earth now you have to live for them, grow for them, watch for them, pray for them. Once a child is here everything is placed in perspective.
You see clearer. You feel different. You move different. It is the purest form of love. Your child will give you a sense of comfort and unconditional love you never knew existed.”
“Damn man that’s deep. I just want to be the best. Clinton wasn’t always perfect but my dad was a great father. When he and mama broke up he still was there for me you know but I don’t want my seed to go through the bullshit I did. I want a stable environment.
We have to leave the petty shit behind before this baby comes. That’s why I’m going to therapy with baby girl. I can’t fuck this up Barry. I’ve did a lot of stupid shit but I want to be perfect for my seed.”
“Chris you’ll never be a perfect parent because it’s unrealistic however you will give your child love. Shit do you know how many times I dropped my my on his head when he was an infant? Nigga I couldn’t change diapers. I used to give him real milk. I didn’t know shit.
One time I called mama J and cried my eyes out. She told me everything would be ok. I was so overwhelmed I felt like a failure and that my son didn't love me. You’ll do good Chris. You have us for support and even if you do make mistakes its ok.”
Chris parked his beer at his lips before chugging it to the head. I can tell by the curiosity in his eyes he was listening and taking in everything I just said. Parents are super heroes even though we try not to be. We aren’t perfect we’re just humans it’s the circle of life.
