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TRAVIS LANDON BERRY; "she wasn't doing a thing that i could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together." -- J.D. Salinger Hey, I'm Landon, but you can call me Agent Fitz of S.H.I.E.L.D. Okay, joking, but I really do wish it to be true. That being said, self convinced to actually be kid flash. Attending Willow Woods for a Studio Art major, because art, man, art. General interests are being a pain in the ass, trying to woo people with movie quotes and constantly making starbuck's baristas write "The Doctor" on my coffee cup, I think they might hate me.

[danberrys-blog-deactivated20170]

Don’t worry, we just gotta finish this year and get through next year and then we’re free. I’ll make sure they’re the least attractive virgin I can find.

[justnolandon]

I'm just happy I decided summer classes were not going to be a thing this summer. Like, I'm never trying to take a semester's worth of class in three weeks ever again. When we're both famous, I vote we always have awesome sibling meetings. I feel like I should feel bad talking about unattractive people in this manner, but at the same time I feel like it was needed.

[teddynash-blog]

Seeing the things Black Widow can do with her body, I won’t mind getting some of that.

[justnolandon]

I was rewatching The Avengers last night and I went to see Captain America 2 for like the sixth time today, I've actually come to the conclusion she's the worst and best thing ever in the female species.

[justnolandon]

kipling-hummel:

Bitch, please. Scarlett is my queen.

Sharing is caring, Kip.

[masonohp]

'Or?' How about 'and?'

[justnolandon]

DO NOT TEASE ME. That sex would be the death of me. Seriously. Like, I would have the sex and then die in that bed. 

[justnolandon]

I'm basically as gay as they come, but if ever a chance came to sleep with Eva Longoria or Scarlett Johansson, it would totally happen, okay.

[randy-dandy-o-deactivated201406]

And ‘killed by Hydra?’

[justnolandon]

... I'm just gonna need a really big gravestone.

[jfcmateo]

It’s on my royal decree that you’re not allowed to die. So. Ya know. Lets not do the thing. 

[justnolandon]

WE RULE THIS KINGDOM TOGETHER YOU CAN'T DO THAT. Actually you can, just like I can totally track you when you try to sneak out of the castle, and fool me with implications of sex. I'm okay with this.

[graysonbain]

College is a bitch. Like why kill the best damn pie eater? Fairy tale land needs it’s pie eater.

[justnolandon]

College can actually get out, but not really because I'm paying to be here, and I don't want to waste money. EXACTLY. You're my new favorite, let it be said.

[teddynash-blog]

Well, of course death is among us. Death is always among us, and the moment you were born marks the beginning of what would be a lifetime of slowly decaying into the same organic matter you were once created from. The point, however, is not to die, but to do something worthwhile to pass the time. College might be one of those things, and while I agree that it can be a pain in the ass, it gives you something to do. My suggestion is suck it up or go home.

[justnolandon]

... Dude. I can't tell if I appreciate your statement or am slightly annoyed by it's ending. I think it's a little bit of both.

[danberrys-blog-deactivated20170]

You’re not gonna die, Landon. I’ll sacrifice a virgin to some god to make sure you don’t die.

[justnolandon]

I want to know who had the bright idea that college is okay, you and also Mateo are the only reasons I'm not trying to live as a carnival person. .... Just make sure they're not a hot virgin, I'd feel bad if they were hot.

[justnolandon]

I'm dying. And like, completely and absolutely dying. DEATH IS AMONG US, and it is coming yours personally. And I would like it to be printed on my grace "God fucking dammit, College, you killed the best damn pie eater in all of fairy tale land." Please and thank you.

[shayleethea-blog]

There is no justice, I guess. The body is weird.

[justnolandon]

I want to know who came up with these plans for the human body because my dick and I would like to have a few discussions with them. And also my nose, but you know.

[simone-lewis-deactivated2020081]

… Faster than a speeding bullet; Landon’s sneezes.

[justnolandon]

I AM SUPERSNEEZMAN. And this is how I saved the world.

[inkedharlow-deactivated20150420]

What if when you sneezed you’d just like fly however far?

[justnolandon]

... My life would be complete because I would be living a cartoon life.

[masonohp]

100 miles per hour, Jesus. That sounds like it should be painful. Why isn’t sneezing more painful?

[justnolandon]

Faster than a fucking car, going the speed limit. A car. I don't know but I'm very glad it's not.

[justnolandon]

@kiplingskorner: @ideklandon russia to be exact.

@ideklandon: @kiplingskorner i could marry you for this answer

[justnolandon]

It is literally alarming to know that you can sneeze and remove air from your body at the speeds up to 100 miles per hour. Like, excuse you, I can't even run that fast. But I can sneeze that fast? Where is the justice.