He keeps on breaking my heart. Di ko na sya kilala. Days like this, I just want to leave him and disappear

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@justpassing--by
He keeps on breaking my heart. Di ko na sya kilala. Days like this, I just want to leave him and disappear
Reblog if you’re a true 90s kid and you remember this tumblr
397 days after my mama died, my pops casually told me and my sis that he finally took off his wedding ring and replaced it with a flashy gold ring instead. And I'm not even surprised nor sad. But one thing I know for sure is if it were the other way around, my mama will never do it. She'll continue to be our light and lead. Maybe in another universe, life is a little bit better
Been feeling blue these past few weeks - I'm on a roller coaster of emotions and I fvckn hate my reality. My mom's first death anniv is on Wednesday and it's giving so much feels. Then there's pops, continually disappointing me. I'm so mad at him it hurts. I hate ignoring him but gahhhd do I hate him this much! So I've been MIA on the outside world for 2 weeks, ghosting everyone. Today I got messages from my pastor's family. My dearest tita ai, the only mama who genuinely cares for me aside from my own momma. Her eldest daughter ate cj, the ate that I never had and her second born, anikka, the closest friend I have rn.
In my post holiday bod
Last batch of gifts ahe
No more repeated cycles. It’s time to grow.
1 January 2025
Unang araw ng taon, may pasabog agad ang lyf. Pag gising ko ng hapon, eksena si papa and I can never tolerate what he did so I had to go and clear my mind so umalis ako without any destination in my mind. Kung anong madampot na damit, lagay lang sa bag and dinala ko passport ko lol. While walking pa taft, I initially thought of Cambodia kaso shuta back to reality agad ako kasi naisip ko yung gastos. Sumakay ako pa-pitx kasi naisip ko mag Airbnb nalang sa tagaytay and magpalipas ng ilang araw then pag dating ko sa pitx, ang daming nag aalok ng pa-bicol shuta mejo natetempt nanaman ako kaso baka sa byahe palang okay na ko sa sobrang layo kaya sige go, tagaytay nalang talaga. On my way to tagaytay, naisip ko si dongskiee so I messaged her and voila! Forda invite ang ferson. I decided na tumuloy parin sa tagaytay para mag isip isip then uuwi nalang sakanila sa dasma after. Kaso the traffic was so bad at gutom na gutom na ko. Gabi na when I reached olivares plaza and nag stress eating nalang ako sa Jollibee then nag smoke ako ng 1 stick while waiting sa bus. Grabe I was so sad as I waited there listening to Ed Sheeran. Ang lamig at ang daming pasaherong pauwi kaya puno ang mga public transpo. Sis bumili ulit me ng yosi this time 1 pack na plus lighter hayyyy then I lit my 2nd stick. Past 10pm na me nakarating kela dongskieeee.
Ayun nag iinom na sila pagdating ko. I met some of her HS friends. Inuman, kwentuhan, tawanan and reminiscing ng good old days at ng inner child 😂 inumaga na kami. I had a mental breakdown in between at buti nalang umuwi na yung iba pero jusq narinig pa ni Tito ang drama ko HAHAHAHA.
Next day, jan 2 hapon na kami nagising and nagkayayaan nanaman. Kumain sa Silang, nag kape sa Dunkin' then deretcho kela diswa sa Alfonso na ata yun. Inom ulit, tawanan, kantahan at nag tiktok 😂 nagsiuwian kami ng dasma ng madaling araw kasi may mga pasok na yung iba. I stayed kela badong ulit. Nag message si papa sakin, hinahanap ako. Tho I doubt na naliwanagan na sya and all, nireplyan ko sya na uuwi na ko tom. Hapon na ko umalis kinabukasan. I thanked dongskiee & the fam sa pag welcome sakin. Ahhh this fam 💖
Jan 3, gabi na ko nakabalik sa manila. Pakiramdaman sa bahay and di kami nag usap ni papa. I was still mad at him so I decided to go visit dada, makipag kwentuhan at madaling araw na umuwi. Habang nagchichikahan kami, dumating si jen (FO na kami) and I dunno what's gotten into me coz I said hi and asked her to come join us like wow where did that come from. So we ate dinner, kwentuhan and all. Di namin namalayan, mag 6am na jusq (Jan 4). Umuwi na me and pag gising ko, gabi na. Nag dinner ako sa bahay and kinausap ako ng very light ni papa. I was still mad.
Jan 5, hapon nanaman me nagising. Inis padin ako pero nagsabi ako kay papa na aalis ako. He asked where to and I said kay Julia. Bday ni bb Lucas. Kainan, kwentuhan and inuman ng very light. Around 3 am ako nakauwi. Pahinga lang me ng Jan 6. Nag usap na kami ni papa. Vocal naman ako ever since na ayaw ko sa mga puñetang friends nya na puro kalechenan lang iniimpluwensya sakanya pero sana, sana lang talaga this time isaisip nya pls. I already lost my momma and I cannot afford to lose him din.
Jan 7, bonding na kami over grocery 💸
Long story short, the 1st week of 2025 was one helluva roller coaster of emotions and happenings. Jusq naman pls gusto ko na ng kaliwanagan at kapayapaan this year.
So before 2024 ended, I prayed to God for a lovelife. And yet here I am, consecutively turning down 2 guys on the freaking first week of January 😅😭
Not my tita aggressively setting me up with an afam welp 😂😭 sis has no chill, she keeps on video calling me nonstop coz she's with him daw. Ghorl stahhhhp 🤦😅
Shet I feel bad huhu sorry 👉👈
Grabeng bungad ng 2025!! 💔😭 Quota na ako sa 2024 Lord, tama na please 😭
F•R•I•E•N•D•S, The One Where Underdog Gets Away (S01E09)
Not feeling merry this Christmas. Cried a lot last night and kanina pag gising ko. I rly miss u mama. Stayed in bed until 3pm until I finally decided to distribute my Christmas gifts. Wrapped a total of 90 gifts which I curated specifically for each receiver. Tried to make myself busy buying/choosing gifts and wrapping them this whole month to be present this season and feel the spirit. Not to mention the amount of time I went out with friends.
Still felt empty after distributing most of the gifts so I decided to hang out w the girls (boarders turned to friends) as I give them their gifts. We shared a dessert I bought and had a mini chitchat.