iāve never been a particularly religious person, but oh, mikeā¦ you make me wanna believe thereās a heaven. because i canāt imagine a place more fitting for someone who spent so much of his life trying to make this world a little kinder.
you make me want to be gentler. braver. more hopeful. softer. you make me believe that goodness is never wasted; that even in the face of so much pain, love can outlive it.
itās strange to grieve someone iāve never met. stranger to miss you as much as i do.
i wish the world had been gentler with you. kinder. i wish more people had seen your heart the way so many of us do.
iāve spent most of my life not knowing what i believe happens after weāre gone. but then i think of you, and i realize i need heaven to exist. i need to believe thereās somewhere youāve been embraced instead of judged, understood instead of misunderstood, loved without conditions or expectations. i need to believe youāve finally found the peace this world never quite gave you.
so yes, for you, i believe in it.
thank you for every song, every smile, every lesson you left behind. thank you for reminding me that kindness matters, that love is always worth choosing, and that thereās still beauty in believing in people.
before i go, thereās something thatās been on my mind on this particular day. a word in my native language. itās called saudade.
people often translate it as āi miss youā but that barely scratches the surface. saudade feels like love that refuses to disappear. itās the warmth of beautiful memories living beside the ache of absence. itās carrying someone with you, even when theyāre no longer here. itās grief, gratitude, tenderness and longing, all existing simultaneously. itās proof that love doesnāt end just because someone is gone.
there isnāt a word quite like it in any other language i know. and i donāt think iāll ever find a better way to describe what i feel. thatās what you are to me: saudade.
iāll cherish and carry you with me forever, angelface.
i hope youāre at peace.
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