I am never human enough. Just slightly...different.
I feel it under my skin, behind my eyes. I feel it in that curling song behind my teeth, in my chest.
For all their words, I wonder why these others don't bare their teeth or speak that song I have.
I just don't think they have it. Not like I do. We're different.
My mind doesn't work like theirs. My face and body moves different. It's less that I'm not human enough, but that I'm too much of everything else.
"Alright. Guess I'm not human or neurotypical. Guess I just fit in more with other animals then. No biggie."
But I don't fit in there either. "What's the play more for this mean again??"
I'm too big. Too small. Too long. Not enough parts, too many in the wrong places. The wrong shape to be human or animal.
I can never truly sound human. Things slip up. But I can never sound animal either. My purrs are broken. My voice doesn't work like it should.
I don't recognize my reflection. I do not see myself, but I also don't see anything else. I'm often struck with how...different I am from the animals I am.
"Hey friend." I often see animals like me. In the streets, the woods, etc. When I do, I feel this deep feeling. Around me, inside me. A longing. Deep in my chest like a bruise, blooming above my ribs. Bursting from my skin, wings spread to catch the wind and carry me to meet the birds that soar above me. My shoulders ache, my bones painfully heavy.
I look at them and see exactly our differences. And I know that I can never be like them.
Too animal to be human. Too human to be animal.
"Serious stuff aside, I'm basically autistic in both the person way and animal way. I'm missing kinds of social cues most people don't even think about, bbg! Both human ones and animal ones."
"This is basically me lol."
"I cope with the pain thru humor."
germansingergirl
vaporwave
baratheonpilled
stormborns
jbbartram-illu
areudirty
yousharknotpass
