мαιяση

  ⁱⁿᵈᵉᵖᵉⁿᵈᵉⁿᵗ, ᵖʳⁱᵛᵃᵗᵉ, ˢᵉˡᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵃⁱʳᵒⁿ/ˢᵃᵘʳᵒⁿ ʳᵖ ᵇˡᵒᵍ. ᵃˢ ʷʳⁱᵗᵗᵉⁿ ᵇʸ ᶜⁱⁿⁿᵃ.  moved to @adamantiiine.

[taintedfirelight]

mairon is moving to @adamantiiine ! i will be dropping all threads just to make things easier on me. if you really want to continue a thread, tag my new blog in it so i can find it. otherwise we can start something new.

[adamantiiine-a]

ɪ'ᴍ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴀʙʟᴇ; ᴜɴʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴀʙʟᴇ,

          ɪ'ᴍ ꜱʜᴀᴋɪɴɢ yᴇᴛ ᴜɴꜱʜᴀᴋᴀʙʟᴇ.

muses from literature, loved by cinna.

[taintedfirelight]

* ✧ ∗ @tofindthesun / continued ! 

Here, the shadows are darker. The closer to Dol Guldur one comes, the more pressing the darkness and the corruption of the land become. The Music is obscured here, and all is not as it should be, which drives most away.

Still, sometimes one will be drawn here, out of curiosity, and it is then that the darkness shifts into something like a welcoming embrace, a sweet poison to draw them in even further. 

❝ Are you quite certain it is a lesson that you wish to hear ? For things once known can never again be unknown. ❞

The words are not spoken directly, but whispered through the dim surroundings, spoken through the corrupted trees, through the darkened stones. The voice is gentle, yet harsh; welcoming yet repulsive. 

[taintedfirelight]

prisoner.

Arawynn didn’t dare to move away from the bit of straw that served as her mattress. One might think it was to protect her throat and belly - that were more sensitive than her back, even in her other shape. But in reality it was because she simply couldn’t lay on her back or sides, due to a whipping she had received just the day before. For protecting one of the younger Cerddwr. Her back was still sore and tender and hurting with every single movement.

When her ‘visitor’ revealed his own scars, the redhead involuntary gasped for air. She knew how much it hurt when wounds like these were inflicted. Though up til now the Cerddwr had been of the opinion that a being like  Is-gapten couldn’t bear marks like those he had just shown her.

“It seems like we have similar interests. Though I can’t imagine how to overthrow a being of his power.”, Arawynn answered tentatively. She really wanted to get out of this cell, but at the same time, she didn’t want to leave the others behind. Especially Sian. “What do you expect of me should I agree?”, the redhead asked. She wouldn’t agree to anything that she didn’t know anything about.

It’s enough to sway her, at least in some way. To give him an advantage. Of course it is-- he’s revealed common ground between them. It had all played out easily, just as he’d hoped it would be. Good. The time he has is running out. 

❝ I have not fully thought of a way myself. He and I are of a kind-- his power is greater than mine, but by most measures we can be considered to be of one race. I have thought little of the Eruhíni, and of other sentient creatures like yourself, I admit, and yet-- I can say that you have managed to surprise me. ❞

The Maia’s gaze, at once cold and blazing, takes in the cell, measures her up from head to toe.  ❝ I must say that I thought you would be more easily broken, and yet you have withstood what even I could not, and retained your own self-- his hold over you is weaker than his hold over me. But for your freedom, I require in exchange your loyalty. First and foremost-- and this I can assure you: that I am not like my Master, I do not delight in wanton destruction and purposeless torment. My rule is by far more reasonable than his, and I would consider it to be just and fair. ❞

[taintedfirelight]

fëanárion.

The thing waited so long before revealing itself that Curufin had already decided it understood not what he had said. He was debating whether to try another tongue when suddenly it moved, drifting forward, changing…

Changing its fana. Just my luck. Ainu to be certain, and not a friendly one by the look of it. Given the locale, it took no great effort of mind for Curufin to identify the being who now met him in the moonlight. By the Valar, he actually came himself.

He straightened then; no blade would save him against Thauron. This would require all his guile; one false step and it could spell his end. And how far away were his companions? Too far to hear his voice…but he had on him a hunting horn. Ever so slightly, Curufin’s hand twitched — but no, not yet. If he blew the horn, he would have to fight until his companions found him, and that had an excellent chance of ending badly.

When the Maia spoke, Curufin couldn’t help but answer with a smile of his own, curving his lips slowly into a warm arc that did not reach his eyes.

So, we want to talk, do we? That was good—for Curufin could talk.

“I suppose so,” he conceded, almost apologetically, but not without a hint of boldness. “Do forgive me if I intrude—you know me, it seems, and I believe I know you also. What do you call yourself these days, Lieutenant of Morgoth?”

This Elda is confident in his words indeed. It merely amuses Mairon-- the Maia is as much a smith of words as he is a smith of metals. This encounter will provide welcome entertainment, and a chance as good as any to exercise his mind. 

The placid smile remains on the lieutenant’s features, which are far more fair than might be assumed of the chief servant of Darkness. Lieutenant of Melkor though he may be, that does not mean that Mairon takes no pride in the crafting of things beautiful. His fána is no exception to this. 

Mairon catches the shift of his hands, fire eyes flickering downward. The smile widens just slightly, and his eyes close part-way. As though daring the son of Fëanáro to blow his horn. If he does so, there will be nothing of him to find. 

He’s smart-- he doesn’t make that move, and Mairon is pleased. It would be so dreadfully boring if he were to force a fight, if he were to halt this little game of minds before it had even begun. 

A light laugh escapes the Maia, at the same time pleasant and terrible. 

❝ Why, how courteous of you. To allow me to tell you my own name, rather than placing one upon me without my own input... I must say, a courtesy I have not been offered by many of your kin. ❞

❝ You may call me Mairon, if you should wish to call me anything. Or if you are so staunchly against using that name, simply address me as Lieutenant. ❞

[taintedfirelight]

sister.

                                 MAIRON felt him  FALTER  within her embrace.  PITY  then arose in her depths and she fell upon the ground but she was careful with her  OTHER HALF  within her arms. She held him close and she had taken it upon herself to watch over him. Slender fingers stroked his own auburn hair, saddened by how much  LIGHT  was robbed of him. 

                                 Her eyes looked towards the forest. It was partially  DEAD , with the fortress of Angband not so far from where they were in the east but  LIFE  thrives and there is still  HOPE , like how there was still  HOPE  in her core that her brother would return. She moved closer upon the tree from whence she found him. She seated herself upon the great root and she Sang in their Tongue. A  GENTLE  melody to  LULL  him in  PEACE  but also to conjure a shield that would keep them from harm until should he arise later.

                                ❝ Be at ease, brother mine, for I am here now, ❞   said she murmurously.

                                 Mairon’s chin was upon his head and her own head was resting against the truck of the oak tree. Unknown to her, she was shedding  TEARS  as she wept for him. O, how she was saddened of him. Many reasons came forth and many emotions did she feel.  WRATHFUL  and  SORROW  were both the greatest, however.

                               ❝ I love you so. ❞

A long time passes before he wakes, several days at least. By that time, his wounds have mainly knit themselves back together-- with his weakened eäla his fána is far more fragile than it usually is. 

The rest has helped to heal his eäla as well, and overall the pain and confusion have lessened when again he opens his eyes. 

At first he’s uncertain where he is, uncertain of what has happened. Everything had passed in a terrifying, agonizing blur for the past week or two. It feels like it’s been less than a day since the fall of Tol-in-Gaurhoth, and yet at the same time it feels like an age. 

Dim fire-gaze falls at last upon his sister’s form, and he opens his mouth. Voice is still faint, Sauron is yet testing his newly-healed throat. 

❝ Mairon ? Where... am I? What has happened?❞ 

[taintedfirelight]

* ✧ ∗  tar-míriel / @loyalservants​ | continued

The Maia carries himself elegantly, as ever, chin lifted, expression impassive in golden eyes, lips drawn together in something that is not quite a satisfied smile, but could be a faint echo of one. 

Mairon (as he has once again begun to call himself) watches the queen closely, intently. She is not so easily corrupted as her husband was-- something that the dark lord actually sees as fortunate.

Corrupting or thwarting her, either way it would prove to be a challenge for him, and no doubt far less uncomfortable than it was to corrupt her husband. This game is much more to Mairon’s liking. Truly twisting a mind, rather than just playing upon the greed of Men. 

❝ Your eyes are not so easily blinded-- or opened, choose which word you will, it matters little to me. ❞

❝ So I shall tell you. Your husband needed little encouragement. The creature that you have bound yourself to is a foul being indeed... in this I must say we share more than a few similarities. ❞

[taintedfirelight]

the herald.

                                       EÖNWË could only desire for this folly to end and allow the Children of Eru to live in  PEACE  and  PROSPERITY . No more darkened clouds had to carry lightening and thunder. No more war has to be waged. No more  BLOOD  has to be spilt. No one had to die for  HONOUR  or to ensure the survival of their future generation. 

                                       The Eruhíni had suffered enough because of Morgoth and his servants. They needed not more of it in the next dawning age. He approached him, the clanking of his armour betrayed him when he sought of  SILENCE  and  COMFORT . They born out of the palms of Ilúvatar, in their coming, it was just silence and Eönwë found ease within the embrace of silence. 

                                       Mairon spoke again and his eyes brightened but then the  RADIANCE  was dimmed upon his next words.   ❝ Thou needest not to suffer any longer. The Valar are more  MERCIFUL  than thy Dark Master whose heart is darkened and his Song corrupted. ❞

                                       He went closer to truly look at Mairon and absorb every little detail there was upon his fána                               his face and the freckles he had chosen upon his skin. His  EYES , fiercer than most of the Ainur.    ❝ Avoid the same lunacy Morgoth had believeth when he hath forsaken his own brother. Do this not to me, Mairon. I believe there is still  PURE LIGHT  within thee. ❞   He had removed the gauntlet off his right hand and he offered it to Mairon to take. HOPE  filled his eyes, for Mairon to accept what he was offering.

He is hesitant to believe Eönwë in the slightest. Long has his mind been poisoned against the Valar and all of their servants-- he cannot trust that the herald’s words are true, that he does not seek to lure Mairon into some false sense of security. 

And yet, the greater part of him longs that Eönwë’s words are indeed truthful. Mairon does not much like the idea of aimlessly wandering, alone, through the wilds of Middle Earth, hiding from the Valar and their servants until the end of time. 

And so he speaks once more, voice still quiet, posture yielding if just barely. 

❝ Is there some surety you can give me of their mercy? I do not know whether to trust your words, or those of my Master. ❞

[taintedfirelight]

lord of the eldar.

He would have retorted to the first comment, for he wasn’t prone to violence without provocation and he quite resented the implication otherwise, but stayed his tongue, not rising to the bait.

“If your heart truly no-longer holds any darkness, then the onus is on you to prove that, not for anyone else to automatically trust in your word and the mere fact that you are no-longer held apart from it,” he said. “People have long memories and you have been dormant before in not causing harm, only for you to come back with deeds thrice fold more malevolent than previously. There are many I call friends and family who you’ve hurt beyond all measure and you’ve not exactly made my life for the last two ages fun, so forgive me if I seem a little self-righteous to you.”

He laughs, a bitter, empty sound, and looks back over his shoulder. A shake of his head follows, and a four-fingered hand is pressed to his forehead. 

❝ Nay, you misunderstand me. ❞

Almost delicately, he reaches out to trail his finger along a flowering vine, pausing for just a moment before he brings his attention back to the lord of the Noldor. He seems at once both amused and pained. 

❝ It is not that there is no longer darkness within me-- I do not truly think there can be anything but-- though a few of the Valar might disagree and hold out hope. Rather, the greater portion of my power, my very being, has been lost, and as I am now, I remain weaker than even the Children of Men. ❞

Once he fought to hide any weakness within him. But no longer-- it is far too prevalent now, apparent in everything from stature to marred visage. There is no use in hiding it.  ❝ Your kind so easily forget that those of the Darkness can suffer loss as well as you. But I do not seek your pity. I need it not, and truly, I am undeserving. ❞

[taintedfirelight]

celebrimbor.

“Show-off,” Celebrimbor shook his head with a smile as Annatar joined him on the ground.  If he had half the grace of the Maia beside him… well… he’d probably be abusing it terribly to go vaulting over random pieces of furniture just to because he could.  It would drive everyone he knew mad, but that was half the fun of it.

“A fortunate find indeed,” Celebrimbor said, travelling through the darkened cave.  “I’ll have to mark it on the map… and get miners and excavation crew up here.  I wonder how deep this runs… if it keeps going, will we run into Khazad-dum? No, I can’t imagine if we did, we wouldn’t see evidence of dwarves…”

There’s a playful grin peeking across Annatar’s face and he chuckles, bobbing his head a little.  ❝ Always. ❞

He lifts one hand, igniting a small, fiery orb and levitating it just ahead of them to light their path. He himself, of course, doesn’t need it-- but his companion is not so blessed with the eyes of the Ainur. 

❝ I’m not entirely sure how far it goes, I have only been to these very beginning portions. But it does seem to be a contained system of caves... and thoroughly untouched, ❞ he explains, pausing next to a rich, shimmering ore vein.  ❝ Now... let us see what you have to offer. ❞ The words are murmured, and immediately after them the energy around them shifts, giving way to Ainurin Song. Annatar coaxes the ore from the rock, ending with a few small pieces in the palm of his hand. He holds them out. 

❝ What think you of this? ❞      

[taintedfirelight]

prisoner.

Arawynn had no idea how long she and the others were already prisoners. It felt like an eternity. The Cerddwr did her best to protect the others from their captors but the more time passed the more difficult it became. Their captivity was energy-sapping, both mentally and physical. The longer they stayed the more of them broke and went insane.

The young woman felt darkness gnaw on her mind, but she did everything to fight it. She had a younger sister to protect and take care of. And the other Cerddwr were looking up to her as well. She had somehow become their leader. As long as she showed strength, they had hope. It was withering with each passing year, but not dead. 

Yet.

Whispering forced her to return to reality. Is-gapten. Lieutenant. The name they had given the…being that was the first servant of their captor. He was far more powerful than any of the other creatures inhabiting this place. There had been rumors about him. That he wasn’t the lieutenant anymore but this had gone around a couple times already so Arawynn hadn’t paid any more attention to it.

Though when he came to a halt in front of her cell, something felt…different. Less terrifying, even though their powers were pretty much useless. The Dark Master had adapted the cells so they couldn’t hurt his servants - after a number of Orcs had been killed by the captured Cerddwr.

The redhead hissed and bared her teeth when is-gapten started to sing. A warning that she still was anything but helpless. Though his words threw her off-track. “As fair as your words sound - what reason should I have to believe them? That this isn’t some cruel joke to torture me?”, she growled. His words sounded too good to be true.

The hostility is completely expected. He can only hold the cloak for so long before suspicions are raised-- and the last thing that Sauron needs now are for suspicions to be raised, for some eager little underling to bring word to his Lord of anything that might be seen as out of line. 

So he must do his best to hurry through this, to turn her to his side if he can-- and he does believe he can. 

This is one thing that he will not fail at. 

He remains placid despite her snarling, and exhales softly through his nose.  ❝ I suppose your doubts are reasonable. ❞ 

Perhaps he could have convinced her with words, but he has a much more effective statement he can make, one that may well quell any of her misgivings. he turns around, and with a practiced gesture folds his plate armor in on itself, removing it from the upper half of his body. 

His back was laced with scars, torn across his lean frame, stark white against tanned skin. Beneath his armor, the lieutenant is as mutilated as one of Morgoth’s prisoners.

❝ These wounds were dealt to me mere months ago, and others more grievous, unable to be seen by your kind. ❞ 

His voice is even, devoid of emotion.  ❝ Those visible dealt at my master’s bidding-- those Unseen, by his own hand. And for this, I wish to see him fall. ❞

Stiffly, he replaces his armor, the scales lacing up tightly over scarred throat.  ❝ Is this proof enough for you, or do you require something else? ❞

[taintedfirelight]

x - ;; gonna be working on icons for a bit, so my posts will be iconless for the next week or so !

[taintedfirelight]

‘ you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore, it’s a pit. ’ ( arien maybe? i also have nienna, i just haven't finished her page yet. ^^ up to you. )

* ✧ ∗  grave suggestion meme | accepting ! (1/8)

❝ I am painfully aware of that fact. ❞

His tone is dull, for the most part devoid of emotion. Both through long practice and through his much-weakened will. He only briefly meets her gaze before looking away, off into the distance-- anything but direct eye contact. 

❝ It is not as though I can simply free myself from it. Believe me-- at times I certainly wish I could have. ❞ 

Indeed, the best time of his entire existence (that he can remember) is that time he spent as a shadow, that time during which his consciousness was not whole enough to discern one thing from another. Being brought back like this... it had been against his own wishes. 

❝ In a way, I was glad that I’d ceased to exist. ❞

[taintedfirelight]

trespasser.

A large, dark thing hurtled into the clearing, and Curufin instinctively threw himself to one side, though the thing had missed him by a good distance even without his efforts. Rolling straight to his feet in a single, uninterrupted motion, he yanked his sword from its scabbard the moment both feet found the ground. 

Yet there was nothing to slash out at. The clearing had gone quiet again, with the exception of a few startled birds still making their way away, squawking and fluttering. 

Then he saw them: eyes, burning, staring out of the shadows at him.

Curufin’s mind raced. What was it? Definitely not friendly… but clearly not it meant him no immediate harm, since whole seconds had passed and it was still over among the trees. And the way it had entered… it missed on purpose. The thought lent certainty to his suspicion.

The island, not so far away, came again to the mind of Curufin. He remembered the battle well, as he and his brother raced to rescue Orodreth. They knew well enough who held the place now. Had he sent this creature, whatever it was?

A thought flitted across his mind, a dark, cold doubt touching his heart. No…he would never come himself.

He lowered his blade slightly, adjusting his grip. “Come into the light!” he called, not aggressively. The moon was shining now, illuminating the clearing with a soft white glow.

Mairon is unconcerned. A single Elda-- even one of the house of Fëanáro (he has recognized that particular strength of fëa quite swiftly)-- cannot stand a chance against one such as himself. He would have the poor thing within his dungeons eventually, but he has time. And he wants to make used to it. 

It’s so fun to play with the emotions as he does. 

When the command is shouted, the Maia waits a little longer in the shadows, closing his eyes several times, dragging it out for long enough to create tension but not long enough that it gets boring. 

He allows his footsteps to be heard as the dark wings fold in tightly against his back. His form shifts, and they vanish, leaving him standing on his own two feet, in his most favored form. As he steps into the moonlight, Mairon extends a hand delicately to one side, and the cloak of shadows is whisked away, the golden fire-like light of his own being clashing with the silver of Isil’s beams. He greets the elf with a smile that is somehow both gentle and predatory. 

❝ Wandered close to the darkness, have you not, Fëanárion? ❞

[taintedfirelight]

x - cinna’s rp blog list v.1 

@taintedfirelight - Mairon/Sauron. 

Tolkien. Single-muse. My main rp blog, you can almost always find me here. Moderate to high activity, heavily headcanon-based.

@hrekkjalomur​ - Loki. 

Marvel. Single-muse. Low activity. MCU/Mythology based.

@ofmoondrop​ - Varian. 

Disney. Single-muse. Moderate activity. Canon-divergent from Tangled: The Series. 

@nyarnarfuinello​ - Tolkien Multimuse. 

Featuring Maedhros, Maeglin, Eluréd, Olórin, Khamûl, and Mírissë (OC) as of now. Moderate activity, heavily headcanon-based. 

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[taintedfirelight]

I’m out for another hour or so. In the meantime, like this for a starter with uncorrupted!verse mairon, I’d like to play around with that verse a bit.