Woooo

this is a side blog for when I'm having a really shit day and need to smile at something. follow if you like bad puns, cute animal videos and the occasional motivational quote oops.

[quotemadness]

“There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.”

— Franz Kafka

[flowerytale]

Franz Kafka, from a letter to Felice Bauer (December 20, 1912)

[givemearmstopraywith]

the most erotic and transgressive act is to allow oneself to be seen by another

[givemearmstopraywith]

the transgression becomes holy when you look with the eyes of God. the erotic becomes holy when you look with love.

[quotemadness]

“I am profoundly enchanted by the flowing complexity in you.”

— John Keats

[iwanthermidnightz]

This about sums it up.

[mohtz]

achilles and patroclus / andromache and hector / odysseus and penelope

[thegirlwiththeloontattoo]

People say “phase” like impermanence means insignificance. Show me a permanent state of the self.

[horrible-harlot]

holy shit this quote changed my life about four years ago. so crazy that this just resurfaced. i’m really happy.

[matchingvnecks]

[teachingwithcoffee]

It’s time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol

[bigbutterandeggman-deactivated2]

Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here. Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s. 

So. Here’s the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem. 

BUT! Let’s look closer! 

“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.

See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.

Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so. She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.” And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.

So it’s not actually a song about rape - in fact it’s a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it’s also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It’s a song about a society where women aren’t allowed to say yes…which happens to mean it’s also a society where women don’t have a clear and unambiguous way to say no.

[livinginthequestion]

Best explanation of where this song came from I’ve heard, and it illustrates how much things have changed since then. 

[colourofoctober]

Refreshing a page just as you see something interesting…

[opheliabpd]

Workbooks and Self-Help Books for Mental Illnesses & Symptoms

Hello everybody! I was just thinking about how I always recommend people who can’t get therapy to use workbooks, so I thought I’d make a quick list of some you could look at. I’m not comfortable recommending books for things I have not struggled with (like, if I was looking at the description of a book on OCD I’d have no idea if it was good or not) but I think I’ve covered a lot. Some of these are series which have workbooks for specific disorders like bipolar, etc., if you want to find some. Plus, you don’t have to be diagnosed with something to use a workbook if you think it’ll help you.

Workbooks are sometimes made to be done in conjunction with therapy, or something like that, but anyone can still get something out of them if you put in regular work and try to apply the skills.

I’ve linked them all the Amazon because they’re usually cheaper on there.

For reference: DBT = dialectical behaviour therapy, CBT = cognitive behavioural therapy, ACT = acceptance and commitment therapy

Anxiety, Depression, and Intrusive Thoughts

The CBT Anxiety Solution Workbook

The Anxiety and Worry Workbook

The DBT Skills Workbook for Anxiety

The Anxiety Toolkit

Depressed and Anxious: The DBT Workbook

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression

The Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Depression 

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts 

The Anxious Thoughts Workbook

Borderline Personality Disorder

The BPD Survival Guide

Stronger Than BPD

You Untangled

Mindfulness for BPD

The BPD Toolbox

Beyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery 

Interpersonal Problems

The Interpersonal Problems Workbook 

ACT for Interpersonal Issues 

Anger

The DBT Skills Workbook for Anger

The Anger Workbook for Teens

Anger Management for Everyone

ACT on Life Not on Anger

Trauma and PTSD

Overcoming Trauma and PTSD

The PTSD Workbook For Teens

The Complex PTSD Workbook

You Empowered

Self Harm

Freedom from Self harm

Stopping the Pain: A Workbook for Self-Injury

Rewrite: The Journey from Self-Harm to Healing

General Emotional Issues/Multiple Disorders

Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors: A Workbook 

The DBT Skills Workbook

Don’t Let Emotions Run Your Life

The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions

The Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance Workbook

Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods Workbook

[open]

[dragonfurs]

*crushes my emotions with my bare hands* as I was saying,

[chongoblog]

Visit Original Link

Caught in a rather good romance

[slightlyfrumiousbandersnatch-de]

It sounds like I’m playing a video game and someone is trying to sell me potions. :D

[ailurinae]

…that is exactly what it sounds like

[kieu-silly-world]

[curlsandstems]

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

[thewanderingnegro-deactivated20]

“Whats your safe word?”

[curlsandstems]

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

[paninimami]

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

[trashg0d-deactivated20180217]

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

[justcariii]

Lol i need to be his friend

[southernbitchface]

“Every strong man got a sensitive side”

[h3llraizer]

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

“Ooo that’s cute”

[decolonialtheoryandweed]

Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?

[wordsnquotes]

Sometimes things are exactly as they seem, that’s all.

Charles Bukowski (via wordsnquotes)

[tastefullyoffensive]

View this post on Instagram

Digging is hard work.

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

Oh, my heart…

[fireblenders]

[shareaquote]

the stories i identify with are the ones about outcasts, about people that are different, that feel trapped within themselves and within society’s expectations the stories i identify with are the ones about people that don’t follow other’s rules but also never quite succeed in establishing their own. the stories i identify with are the ones about people that are lost, that are so desperately trying to find themselves and some meaning for their lives the stories i identify with are the ones with a bittersweet finale, with an unhappy middle and with a strange beginning but god am i afraid afraid of being misunderstood, of going through this life without finding meaning, feeling this emptiness that i feel too many times afraid of feeling like i’m dancing on a tight rope every time I’m feeling well, and good afraid of the fall, of the way i can’t see anything below me afraid of the next wave, and what it will bring afraid of a bittersweet finale, afraid of a barely something there i want it all i want my life exploding into glorious technicolour, blinding everyone around me with its brightness i want to bring the best out in myself, i want to live for me and not be afraid, afraid of ruining this world, afraid of an apocalypse, afraid of the future that is to come and how i can’t see it i want to find myself, ground myself, but be free, so free, as a bird flying without ever getting tired i want to love everything fiercely and without holding back, i want to dare to do everything without being afraid of the fallout, i want to never be afraid, to not care what others think of me i want the world to have known i have been here, if only for a second i want to be like a supernova i don’t need to leave a trace i just need to have existed, so brightly, so passionately, so free if only for a moment . . . (supernova: a stellar explosion that briefly outshines an entire galaxy before fading from view)

shamelesslyradiant (via wordsnquotes)