Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
will byers stan first human second
Claire Keane
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
KIROKAZE
Kaledo Art
todays bird
Cosimo Galluzzi
@theartofmadeline
wallacepolsom
No title available
noise dept.
tannertan36
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
h
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
ojovivo
Stranger Things
seen from Singapore
seen from Argentina
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
@justwaiit
I see my mother’s dreams behind my eyelids, watch it all play out like an underfunded film every time I close them. I wonder if she can see it too, if she looks at me and sees my father’s eyes staring back at her and I wonder which one of us she regrets more.
and right now, i feel alone. i’m sitting in the sun, nothing is wrong, yet i dial my mom’s number, longing for her to tell me everything is okay. i listen to her voice, and i let my tears fall hoping she’ll recognize what in me needs fixing. i am my mothers daughter, and i hope whatever in me needs help, she has seen in herself before. i felt sad, i felt lost, and most of all i felt alone. so i called my mom. and sometimes i think that’s one way i’ll always stay a kid.
- n.c. // i’m getting older, but i’m not ready to grow up
I just love you. Sometimes I don’t believe you’re real, because it’s just so simple. There’s no bullshit, no anxiety or wondering. You just love me, want to be near me, get to know everything about me. You never waver. I’ve never had that before - and you have no idea what it means to me.
oh, because love is like that feeling i get in my ribs after drinking black coffee and forgetting to eat, a fluttering in my chest, in my fingers, the shortness of breath when i stand up and that strange weakness in my legs. why is love always pain and forgetting for me. i wish i could love like my brother, like buying birthday cards and keychains and necklaces, why can't i love like love isn't pain to me?
and, oh my god, you think i'm being so overdramatic when i tell you this, but you don't understand. someone once told me that i fall in love with any kindness someone shows to me, because once i fell off my bike and i didnt cry because i thought it didnt hurt that bad, but when a stranger offered me bandages and antiseptic, i started sobbing.
im so terribly unequipped to fall in love it sickens me. because i enjoy storms and lately it rains with the sun still out and i hate it because it feels all wrong.
I hope our love never grows old
I hope that fifty years down the road you are still the face I see when I wake for the day on a cold Monday morning
I hope you are the last person I see after one too many drinks and I hope your laugh is the soundtrack to all of my stories
I hope your body is always beside me and I hope my life is spent loving the only one that could ever find me
- I hope that every day of the rest our lives are spent loving each other cause not a single thing in this world could ever convince me to love another
and I hope that the love growing between us two is nurtured by all of the days I will spend loving you.
I sat with my anger long enough until it told me its real name is grief. I’m not a whole person, and I don’t think I will ever be. Parts of me died in the house I grew up in, and I visit them in dreams. When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives. Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment and abuse are unacceptable. Your anger knows you deserve to be treated well, and with kindness. Anger is important. It needs to be expressed, acted out and vocalized. When it doesn’t, it begins to manifest, to rage.
~ C.S. Lewis
It’s weird that I still remember your birthday and your favorite ice cream flavor. It’s like I try to remind myself of these facts, so I can prove that I’m the one that knows you best. But maybe I’m not. I don’t know your biggest fear or your greatest accomplishment. I don’t know what thoughts keep you up at 3 a.m., but sometimes I hope that it’s thoughts of me.
Excerpt from a book I will never write #1418 // moving on
today, i am in fragments.
today, i weep and wonder
how on earth can i survive this?
today, i will think of tomorrow
and what if.
what if,
as i ingest the next breathtaking sunrise
and wait for the following sunset,
i think to myself,
i’m so glad i waited.
— what if
I know my love and it’s worth. I know who I am, and I know I am good and a privilege to know. I will not make the same mistakes of trusting blindly after being hurt one too many times. I will never be convinced that I am poison again, and I never thought you would be the one to try and convince me of that. I know when it’s time to go and I know when I go, I will leave my absence and that will never fade.
- n.c. // i would have loved you forever and i hope you know what you have given up in your choice to hurt me.
And one day someone will ask him about me, i can see it now. He will flinch when he hears my name and he will pretend it doesn’t matter. He won’t want to talk about me and he won’t want to think about me. He will change the topic and he will go to sleep that night thinking of all the times he shouldn’t have given me his time, and I will be here on the bathroom floor wishing I could’ve change the ending of this story. That’s always rhe way it’s been, the legacy I leave won’t be a good one and I should do a better job of warning people off of giving me a chance. I will just leave a scar. My sister once told me I know how to leave a mark wherever I go. That is true no matter how much I wish it weren’t.
- n.c. // i wish i didn’t want people to let me in.
One minute you’re 16 thinking that this is the end of your life because you think you can’t deal with what you’re going through right now. Then the next thing you know, you’re almost in your mid-twenties, having the time of your life, living when you thought you’d be dead by now. You never thought you would come this far, but you did. And if no one has told you yet, I’m so proud of you.
Excerpts from a book I will never write #1445
The years are slipping by and we're falling back into old patterns, reducing ourselves to our bad habits, crashing into each other like waves that've been doing this for decades, for eons, forever. And I think: is that all there is? A love that lasts but crushes me from the inside out, where every day hurts a little more, sharpening the thorns growing around the bones of my ribcage. How do I break free, I wonder, but I come up empty. Because when I dig deeper and my fingers scrape against soil, there's only sand and dirt caked underneath my nails, never anything of substance. Never anything that tells me how to cut myself loose from the ties you braided into my hair, my tendons, my soul. How does it stop, I wonder, and the answer is one I've always known but never dared to speak. I burn the photos. Destroy the files. Bury the memories. And years later, my heart still remembers the shape of yours and there is nothing I can do except for hoping that one morning I'll wake up and won't be able to recall why it took me so long to fall asleep.
is that all there is? / n.j.
I’ve always been hurrying to find something that I can’t even remember the name of, but I think i’ll know it when I see it. The windows are wide open and I can smell the pine trees, my bones no longer splinter when I step into the sun. Everything is lighter, and I breathe easier. I’d recognize it anywhere.
“I want to take my heart off my sleeve, it has grown too heavy.”
-m.n.
I realized I’ll always be in love with you because it was never about looks or what you could give me. I fell in love with your soul so your mistakes never changed the depth of my love for you.
my heart is stuffed with words I'll never get to say to you. i wish i could pluck it out, wring it with steady hands and pour all it holds for you into a cup. i wish i could make you taste the bitterness of these words, have them burning your way down your throat so horribly that you choke.
— maybe then you could digest what you’ve done.
