good can't exist without condition.

ometimes, I wonder if the world will always be so scary. And then I start to panic because I'm thinkin' 'bout how the world's really scary. I'm pretty messed up. written by bucky.

[juuusttom-blog]

&; roxy-tyler.

Roxy smiled. “Nice to meet you too, Tom,” she replied. She noticed how shy she looked, but having spent a short while on the psychiatric ward she was used to being around people of that nature so it didn’t really faze her. She just aimed to keep being friendly to him, so he’d hopefully feel more comfortable around her. “So, Tom - wha’ do you do round here? D'ya go to college or uni?”

     The girl’s demeanour helped to set Tom’s nerves at ease, and his shoulders dropped from where they had been, frozen halfway up to his ears. His fists remained buried in his pockets, and his fingers curled around his thumbs, but he was getting there. It was a start. “Yeah, I, uh... I’m at college. Studyin’ art an’-- An’ English,” he replied slowly, carefully. “How, uh... How about you?” There was a brief pause, before he blurted out, “What about your baby?”, and that’s when he felt an anvil drop on top of his chest. “Is... Is it okay that I asked that?”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; imogen-fisher.

Imogen raised her eyebrows. “Forward, ain’t ya?” she joked. “Fair enough, jus’ thought ya’d look scared at tha actual scary things an’ not for tha whole night. Unless tha’s wha’ ya’ve come as - a scared person. In which case ya doin’ well.”

     “S’pose I did come as a scared person, yeah,” he agreed easily, with a soft, somewhat bitter chuckle. It seemed that he came as a scared person wherever he went, whether it was Halloween or not. “I... I shouldn’t keep ya, though. You should prob’ly go back inside. If... If ya want, I dunno.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; alyssa-quincy.

“Hey, I hardly know anyone. I’ve met a few people but I wouldn’t say I know them” she smiled “sometimes in life you have to push yourself into doing things you wouldn’t normally do, that includes meeting new people” she looked at him, “I’m not going to force you into going in but I think you should, you can sit with me. That way we won’t be loners” she gave a small chuckle.

     If Thomas had just a little less self control, he would have found himself saying, Now you’re starting to sound like my therapist. But he had come to know better than that, so he kept his mouth shut. It was true, however. Doctor Jones was constantly waxing lyrical about how he needed to step out of his comfort zone, to push himself to do things he felt he couldn’t do. In this situation, he was split directly in two; his desire to run very far, very fast was very strong, but the fact that she posed the suggestion in a way that indicated it might help her if he went inside? “Oh, uh... O---Okay.” shit. SHIT!

[juuusttom-blog]

&; roxy-tyler.

“Yeah, you,” Roxy replied with a chuckle. “Sorry, I know I’m jus’ a stranger - bu’ I jus’ wanted an honest opinion from anyone.” She smiled at the boy’s reply. “Aww, thank you. S'pose it’s jus’ because I gave birth not long ago… I’ve been a bit self-conscious since. Is tha’ too much information? Sorry if it is. Anyway, I’m Roxy.”

     He remained silent for a moment or two after she stopped speaking, unsure of how, exactly to respond. “No, that’s--- You’re fine.” He wanted to sigh at his own insufficient social skills. “My name’s Tom,” he added simply. That was something he could do. Introduce himself. Although what followed was a beat of awkward silence as he manufactured the next words on his tongue, so that they sounded natural, “It’s... nice to meet ya.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; rae-earltea.

“Brave soul ta walk this far in tha wood by yaself. I’d be creeped out. Or maybe it’s the alcohol talkin’.” She laughed, a bit embarrassed of herself. She looked back at the house, then back at him when he asked if it was her party. “This? Oh, no. Not sure who’s officially. Maybe it’s my mate’s. His birthday, after all. Only threw one party before, fairly big bu’ not like this.” Rae thought back to her ‘sexy party’ that Chop convinced her to throw. Never listed to him again, despite how well it went. Rae bit her lip before asking, “D’ya wanna come in? Get a drink or somethin’?” 

     “I find the woods less scary than the middle o’ Stamford,” he replied quite simply, shrugging his shoulders up to his ears as he cast his gaze towards the ground. “’Specially in the middle of tha’ nigh’. People can’t be trusted.” He quickly fell silent again, acutely aware of the things he had just divulged to Rae. While, of course, she knew he had to be fairly messed up -- they all were, really -- he had never really spoken at all in their therapy group, and so nobody really knew much about him or his issues. He tries to settle his nerves by reminding himself that Rae is currently under the influence, and that she most likely won’t remember their conversation at all -- at least he hopes. “Oh no, no thank you,” he murmured gently, cracking his knuckles in his pockets, “I---I think all of Stamford might be in there.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; natasha-hudson.

“Changed your mind about going in?” Natasha asked as she approached the stationary figure, her hands wrapped around her in a lame attempt to protect herself from a cold. 

     “What?” he asked, quickly zoning back into the real world. “Oh, uh... No, I-- I’m not going in, I was just passing.” He wondered if he sounded like a liar to her quite as much as he did to himself. It was the truth, though. “I like your costume.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; alexisjadewbu.

Alexis watched as his eyes widened, and she wondered if she had frightened him out of his current daze, she gave a friendly smile, hoping to somehow put the guy at ease. She waited for him to find his words, her lips still tugged up into that smile, she knew what it was like to worry about things, she had always been a bit of a worrier on times, depending on the situation. When he finally found his words and spoke up, saying that he was alright, she let her mind wander to how come he was stood outside a Halloween party, with no attempts of entering. She gave a nod, before then hearing a question, about a lighter. She didn’t have one, since she didn’t smoke, sometimes she had a cigarete if she was really drunk, but now, she didn’t. “No, I don’ sorry. I can go find one for ya’ if ya’ want?” 

     The smile provided him with a small amount of comfort, even if he was still panicking inside, just slightly, in case he messed something up. The smile showed him that, at least for now, he was doing okay. Thoughts drifted back to the party inside momentarily, images of flashing lights and thumping music and hardcore drinking all leapt to the forefront -- images he had seen in films, and most likely a massively exaggerated version of what was happening inside at that very moment. He zoned back into the conversation a moment or two after she had spoken and he took another moment to backtrack, to actually register what she said. “Oh,” came the simple response once he caught up, “oh, no, that’s alrigh’. ‘S not that important.” Nothing ever was, especially when it came to inconveniencing other people. “Sorry, am I--- I should go, so you can... uh, go back in.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; imogen-fisher.

Imogen chuckled. “Wha'ever you say, babes. Why are ya lookin’ at me like tha’, then? I ain’t even wearin’ a scary costume.”

     “I, uh... I dunno, I’m just... I’m just lookin’ at ya,” he replied quietly, as if unsure whether or not he would have his head bitten off just for that remark alone. “It’s Halloween; who says I ain’t allowed to look scared?”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; garcia--sofia.

Sofia took her time walking towards the front door of the house, a night of scaring not really what she needed right now. She couldn’t stay couped up in her home though, the walls gradually closing in on her, she wasn’t even allowed to start back up at work or University yet by her doctor. She noticed someone standing outside and approached them with caution. “Going in?” She asked with a hesitant smile.

     The somewhat friendly, yet unfamiliar face was mildly comforting to the jittery male. The question, however, had Tom backtracking over all of the comfort he had begun to feel. “Oh, uh... No, no. I’m not, uh...” he struggled for a moment, before taking a deep breath. “I’m not invited or anything. Just passin’ by.” He followed up with a determined nod, mentally patting himself on the back for managing to get his words out in an acceptable time.

[juuusttom-blog]

&; chloe--harris.

Chloe had been waiting outside, psyching herself to go into the party. Although her outfit was simple, it did exactly what she wanted it to do – it hid who she was so tonight she could be whoever she wanted to be. Not that she was entirely sure what that was yet. Maybe she’d figure it out once she got inside. As she turned her head she noticed somebody else standing, looking at the entrance of the party. She jumped when he did. “God, sorry I didn’t mean ta be lurkin’ round ‘ere.” She didn’t recognise the guy, so speaking with her normal voice wouldn’t give the game away.

     Tom held his breath as the stranger spoke, his expression similar to that of a deer caught in headlights. He shook his head, desperately wanting to move, to get away, but his feet refused to move, they kept him frozen in place right there on the pavement. “No, no, don’t worry,” he insisted through nervous stuttering. “It’s, uh, my fault. I mean, you’re-- You’re actually ‘ere for the party, I think. And I’m just...” Another glance cast towards the busy party had Tom’s hands sweating in his pockets, just at the mere thought of going inside. “I’m just passing,” he added with a finality he wasn’t accustomed to hearing in his own voice.

[juuusttom-blog]

&; alyssa-quincy.

Alyssa walked out for some fresh air, it was getting a bit stuffy and she needed to breath. She noticed the male figure watching the party from the outside. She walked over to him, with a smile on her face “you should come in. It’s not that bad”

     The suggestion immediately drew a surprised chuckle from the boy, though it quickly dove into a more nervous, almost terrified laugh. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no,” he muttered so quickly, his words merged into an anxious blur. “I-- I can’t. I don’t even know anybody, or... or anything. I was just... looking.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; imogen-fisher.

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” Imogen huffed, turning away from the part of the wall that the fake skeleton had popped out of. “Why d'ya look proper gormless?”

     “Oh,” came the slow reply, unsure of how, exactly, he was supposed to respond in this scenario. “Uh, I dunno. I--- I don’t think... Uh, I’m-- I’m not gormless.” Nice one, idiot.

[juuusttom-blog]

&; rae-earltea.

Rae had gotten to the point where she needed a break from the party. There were so many people, and she had tried being social for a while. She thought she’d get some fresh air, before facing everyone again. Then she noticed someone stopping in front of the house. She caught a glimpse of his face by the light, but, with a few drinks in her already, the face was a bit fuzzy. Rae walked up and  it became clear who the stranger was. He wasn’t really a stranger to her at all. She was surprised to see the boy from group. “T-Tom? What’re ya doin’ here?“

     The sound of a familiar voice dragged Tom rather harshly from his thoughts, and his gaze quickly came to land on his fellow therapy-bound crazy. Soft grey eyes widen ever-so-slightly as the face matched up to the name in his mind. “Rae!” he responded, his tone equally as bewildered as his expression. The question, however, had his gaze cast down to the floor, his fingers twisting and curling together in front of him as he scrambled for an answer. “I-- I, uh... I dunno, really. I just... I was walking, and then I-- I was just looking.” His eyes lifted once more to the building; the walls seemed to be expanding and contracting with every beat of whatever song happened to be playing at that moment, almost like a heart -- ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum. “Is this... Is this your party?”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; luc-im-here.

“That’s all? Well here, course I do. Who goes anywhere without one these days?”

     “Think I lost mine,” he murmured as he gingerly took the slim lighter from the other male. He lit a fresh cigarette between his lips and handed it back with merely a jittery, “Thanks.”

[juuusttom-blog]

&; alexisjadewbu.

Alexis was a bit drunk when she was walking through the moving bodies, having just retouched her body paint, making sure none of it came off, she walked outside just to get some fresh air, to try and cool down since it was hot inside, probably because of all the sweaty hormonal teenagers, and their stuffy suits. Her now cat like contacts that molded to her eyes, looked around, coming face to face with a guy, very much all by himself, and who seemed to be very much in his own little world. “Hey?” She called, her lips tugging up into a smile. “Are ya’ alrigh’? Ya’ not lost are ya’?” She asked, seeing how he looked confused, made her think that just maybe he wasn’t in the right place. 

     It took a few moments for the unfamiliar voice to fully register in Tom’s consciousness -- probably due to the thoughts in his own head combined with the loud music still leaking through every crevice of the building. Once the words did settle in, however, his gaze immediately moved towards the source, his eyes wide, alert -- en garde. He stumbled over his words for a moment or two, before he found himself able to respond. “Yeah, yeah,” he began, ducking his head to look at the ground in front of him, “I’m alrigh’, just...” He fell silent again, unable to really explain what he was doing, standing outside a party full of strangers, just staring. Then it struck him like a lightening bolt -- the perfect lie. He was getting rather good at this. If good means using the same excuse every single time. “Just wonderin’... if ya had a lighter?”

[juuusttom-blog]

     The sound of music pulsating through bricks and mortar as he passed was enough to make Tom slow his steps and come to a stop at the front gate. Curiosity prickled at the back of his mind, though at the very forefront was a deep, burning terror of what might be inside. Regardless, though, he was fairly sure anything was better than being at home, jumping out of his skin every time some little kid knocked at the door or every time some hooligans yelled too loudly on the way home from the pub. He was so immersed in his own imagination -- wondering what could be happening inside, who might be in there, how it must feel to be comfortable in a situation like that -- that he did not at all notice the figure lingering in the darkness.

[juuusttom-blog]

&; roxy-tyler.

“Do I look alright? Maybe I should’ve come as somethin’ spooky…”

     “Wha--- Uh... D’you mean me?” Teeth ground together and heart hammered inside a hollow ribcage. Don’t say something stupid, don’t say something stupid, don’t say something stupid! “I think ya look lovely.” Shit. Shit, shit, shit!!!