friendly neighborhood cryptid @elijah-loyal - Tumblr Blog

hullo!

moved to @ejloyal !! <33

#🏺 - archaeology posts (personal work) #misery - drift swap fic #my stuff - my posts

well.

finally came back to say i have officially moved to @ejloyal after literally not getting on tumblr for months for several major life changes (and this is.... so fucking long overdue, i just genuinely was not touching social media for a very long time lmao !)

i will probably not be touching this account again, but feel free to follow me on my new account and cheers!! xx

assiraphales

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

assiraphales

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

assiraphales

I said what I said!

xavantina

#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi)

coffeedrgn87

It’s impossible to argue with anything above.

theanishimori

previous tags are on point: #hat ON archeology APPLIED tits OUT

Imagine getting an aztec death whistle and moving into the Paris catacombs. Living in the dark, learning to navigate by touch. Cultivating some kind of mushrooms that don't need sunlight, maybe catching rats to eat. Letting your hair grow out until it becomes a matted cape running down your back, nails hardened by the layer of dirt under them. Every time you hear people or see lights approaching, you blow into the whistle and scare them away with the shriek, and then once they've fled you can go see if they dropped their backpacks and whether there's food or other things you can loot. If one of them trips while running and breaks a leg or something, you might have to mercy kill them with a big rock and then loot their stuff. Maybe commit some cannibalism and eat the corpse, too, assuming that you're willing to endure the light of a fire long enough to cook it, or willing to eat it raw, chasing off the rats that are trying to come steal bits of your kill.

If any part of that sounds appealing to you, you're probably in the need of some kind of a mental health intervention.

secretmellowblog

The Les Mis performance for Trump just reminds me of how utterly hollow, toothless, and meaningless all “political” broadway musicals are. It’s especially weird because the original novel Les Miserables was an extremely specific and radical leftist political statement when it was published, and still is radical in many ways today— the musical has just sanded away all its rough edges into toothless hollow platitudes that anyone can consume and feel like it validates them. It’s frustrating how such a relevant political work has been converted into something so empty, so determined not to say anything. All the novel’s systemic criticism/satire of the police is eliminated, the rebellion is made generic and non-specific, the politics sanded away into nothing. The original novel was written as a call to action against Napoleon III, a “president” who declared himself emperor and began dismantling democratic institutions; the modern musical is written so that a president who is doing the same things can watch it and feel that he is the hero.

People criticize Hamilton, but at least when Hamilton did a performance where Mike Pence was in attendance in 2016 they stopped to address him directly and urge his administration to have compassion for immigrants. Hamilton might be liberal or “not leftist enough” but that’s radical in the extremely conservative billionaire-funded world of Broadway, where every musical is carefully designed to be utterly devoid of any coherent political statement.

And the actors, artists, and everyone involved in the performance were too spineless to even address Trump directly, the way that the Hamilton performers did. They make so much money off the shallow aesthetic of revolution while ignoring even the fundamental basics of the political statement that the original novel was written to send.

I don’t know how these performers do it—- the cowardice and hypocrisy would eat me alive.

#yea #and while i desperately want to make excuses cause its my first instinct this is so correct #like. les mis is such a severely political piece of media at its CORE that when thats all stripped away what do you have left #i get it actors have to make money #but still

jestersuper

Pathologic dream I had last night

#CRYINGGG LMFAO #patho

thee-faded-memory

i love pathologic bachelors route because all his quests are like "‼️‼️bachelor‼️‼️ im sorry but cant help you with your four other quests for i also need so so much shit yeah i know its so sad im sighing abt it too i need an obscene amount of money and 2 dozen guys killed and the pinky toe of a kain. i know its tragic. so given that i cannot help you" and the bachelor groans and huffs and kicks his feet like "okay fineeeee ill help u" and he comes back like 3 hours later covered in blood and bleeding out and infected and throws the money at u so hard it breaks ur nose

#lmfao #patho

homunculus-argument

It's funny how american guys who got "73% Scandinavian" in a mail order DNA test once will be like "I have Viking blood coursing through my veins, I'm a natural-born warrior and I've got +5 poison resistance and I'm immune to frost damage", while the average Norwegian guy is just some guy named Lars who works in IT, rides a bicycle to work, and looks like this.

#tbf the only norwegian ive ever known is severely bipolar and can drink an entire bottle of vodka and have it do absolutely nothing to him #even though hes on like three medications and it absolutely SHOULD #hes also 6 foot 4 and built like a skinny brick shithouse so i am thinking he is a very bad outlier

homunculus-argument

Grave offerings and burying the dead with tools and goods is actually such a deeply human thing to do. It's not really even necessarily about how much you believe in a literal afterlife or them taking the tools with them. It's also just going Wait, I'm Not Done Taking Care Of You, let me make you one more pair of socks so your feet won't be cold when you go wherever it is where I can't follow.

#yeah #it's just so. SO deeply human #the dead are so so loved and cared for past their life #part of why i want to work in archaeothanatology is so that i can help continue to take care of the dead #archaeology #fave

romanceyourdemons

victorian trans guy who goes to beloved local barber sweeney todd and presses half a crown in his hand and says “begging your pardon sir, i know it ain’t much but i was hoping you might tell my employer i get me shaves from you should he ever come around. only he’s been asking me how i keep my chin so smooth and i haven’t the heart to tell him i can’t grow a beard, so i might have told him a little lie, sir, and said it’s all due to your wonderful skill, sir” and sweeney todd goes “no problem. by the way would you say your employer deserves to die”

#djafhksfhkaf #fave

aaronstveit

taps microphone. what if you believed in nothing. the world was always on the verge of ending and you believed in nothing, not other people, certainly not yourself. your faith has always been imperfect and now it has finally failed you. you love people and you know they deserve a better world, but you don't believe they can create it. a better world is simply a dream and you're a lot of things, but you aren't a dreamer. you haven't been a dreamer in a long time. but the people you love are dreamers, and they are your candles in the darkness, so you sit with them while they dream. and what if you loved one of these dreamers most of all. what if he burned white-hot and righteous, and you knew he was going to burn himself out too fast, but you couldn't look away. he hates you, or at least hates the abyss inside of you. and maybe you love him all the more for that. he believes in everything you don't: hope and change and a future for the people, by the people. he believes in living and dying for a better world. and what if you didn't believe in any of this, but you believed in him. what if he was every saint you've ever prayed to, every god who turned their back on you. what if he leads everyone you've ever loved to their deaths. you can't even hate him for it. what if you sit in the wreckage and watch him stare down the barrel of a dozen guns, all alone. what if he is finally broken. what if you look at him and realize you're seeing him as he has always seen you. everything he believes in has gone up in smoke, every candle has been blown out. the room smells like blood and gunpowder, your friends are dead, he will be dead soon. what if it doesn't even occur to you to turn around and leave him. what if you stand and step over the bodies of your friends to reach him, and for the first time, he looks at you the way you have always looked at him: like a man born in the dark, seeing light for the first time. what if you believe in something, just for a second. what if he takes your hand. what if you stand with him at the end of the world, and he stands with you. what if, in your last moment, you allow yourself to imagine a better world. what if you finally understand how love becomes revolution.

#les mis #yeah #god every time i Remember grantaire its just #its like if you lobbed a bag of bricks at my head cause yeah

morphic-abyss

clairelutra

the problem with water is like. it's the cleaning fluid right. that's the obvious part. you stop drinking and you stop peeing and your kidneys are like ough. ough. ough. ough. but you don't die. unless you're not drinking anything At All and not eating watery food either. so all it is is you pee less but you're okay. kind of.

BUT THEN when it gets too hot it starts being the coolant! and suddenly there are so many ways it can get out! you have so many sweat glands and so much skin and they all need to be cooled down before you DIE.

but then. you realize the least obvious one. it's the transmission fluid. it's the fucking transmission fluid. you can't transmit SHIT without your fliud. which is still fucking water somehow.

so now you're LEAKING your transmission fluid out of every goddamn pore and your kidneys are like hey. gimme that cleaning fluid cmon dude. while your pores are like ITS COOLANT. NEED COOLANT. FOR THE FIRE. NEED MORE COOLANT. SO MUCH FIRE. KILL IT. KILL IT MORE. MORE COOLANT. and then. the rest of you. that uses all that fluid to transmit things. it's like hey. hey. hey what the fuck.. i need that. hello? can anyone hear me? hello? it's so dark in here..

and then you drink more water or you die.