probably at least a little bit nsfw and mildly offensive !
“ brace yourselves this is gonna get intimate ”
“ when i was with pussydestroyer69, ”
“ that’s a kink i have i didn’t know about ”
“ god everyone’s gonna wake up and be like ‘what the fuck we leave for ten minutes' ”
“ i’ve never done the sex ”
“ the first conversation we had was about your vagina ”
“ this is gonna get really tmi you guys are gonna learn something about me ”
“ I CAN’T LOOK AT HER NOW. I CAN’T LOOK HER IN THE EYE. ”
“ damn y'all party when i’m asleep ”
“ when you wanna get high but instead you get hospitalized ”
“ ____ i’ll slap you and make you eat a vegetable too ”
“ i like veggies, in fact i ate a vegetable yesterday ”
[holding out my mug to the barista] “ just put as much coffee as ur legally allowed to in here and then double that amount ”
“ i have heebs on my jeebs ”
“ mothman is real and i sucked his dick behind an arby's ”
“ please don’t let that be a meme i never think before i speak ”
“ these fake news give me the covfefe ”
“ one person drunk doth not make a party - ancient proverb ”
“ question: my cola is empty but I still have some vodka left, am I cool enough to drink it pure or should I just not ”
“ i’ve guzzled pure vodka once and hurled for like 10 minutes but i proved a point so it was Fine ”
“ am i vodka mom or wine mom ”
“ we’re two halves of a whole idiot ”
“ we finish each other’s saltiness ”
“ this is worse than anon hate ”
“ Chester Cheeto bitch the fuck. ”
“ the only one doing any fisting here is me ”
“ NOTHING TURNS ME OFF FASTER THAN SOMEONE SUCKIN ON A TOE ”
“ ok guys let me tell u a story ”
“ do i need to kinkshame this entire chat ”
“ WHAT IF HE GOT A GHOST BONER ”
“ i’d fist donald trump for you ”
“ i cant believe i need parental supervision to use the microwave at the age of 20 ”
“ i have been corrupted ”
“ it’s okay, i have a towel, ”
“ i have seen some things ”
gracieabrams
yousharknotpass
gamechangershow
titsay
