Need
Star: Choi Yerim (Loona)
Idea: No
Sometimes the strongest people fall apart the quickest.
A/n: it’s a bit dusty here🤧 (forgive my spelling mistakes, I’m a but rusty)
You bite your nails unconsciously, a nervous habbit you find yourself doing when you’re anxious. It was a quirk your girlfriend constantly scolds you for, mostly because it ruins the matching nail art that both of you worked on.
Normally, if she caught you doing said habbit she would swat at your hand, pulling it away before interlacing your fingers together. It was a technique that she figured out would effectively ease your anxiety but would also distract you before including you in whatever she was doing.
It was a highly effective method that she constantly did. It didn’t matter where you were or if she was in another room. Whenever you started biting your nails, she would immediately know and walk towards you. However, she wasn’t able to scold you now, partly because you were at the top of the venue while she was dancing on the stage below.
It didn’t use to cause you anxiety whenever your girlfriend performed on stage, usually it would be the opposite. You would be cheering her on, smilling as she put her all in dancing and providing for Orbits. However, due to the current circumstances, performing is the least of what she should be doing.
When you would be biting your nails, there was almost a subconscious feeling that Yerim was recieving, a connection that told her exactly what you were feeling wherever she was. Much like her, even if you stood at the top of the venue meters away from the stage, you could feel that something was off.
She was moving a little slower, whenever the camera panned to her, her face was paler than usual. Her bubbliness was still the same, but it didn’t feel like it reached all the way like it usually does. She did a good job belting out the energy, but you of all people should know that she isn’t fully herself tonight. You knew part of the reason was because of the role she was playing.
Ever since Jiwoo was announced to be skipping the tour, Yerim was displeased, everyone was. However Yerim has kept the girls in her heart the closest, you knew that. So losing one member blew everyone’s happiness into half. Still they kept pushing forward, and while she didn’t say it directly, you knew that your girlfriend was accounting for the space that is left empty.
She’s more active, bouncing around the place while she interacted with her fans, all giggly and happy. It surely made a lot of fans happy but unfortunately, it drains most of the energy that she barely had. Travelling, practicing, and lack of sleep were getting to her. The mental and physical drain were catching up and you weren’t the only one to notice that.
Even if she smiles, bounces around, and tells everyone that she’s fine. Most of the people know that she was already breaking inside.
Multiple tweets, posts, and petitions have gone out to give them a break. Even you yourself have written an email to the company, talked to her managers, anyone who could be of use just to give them a break. To give Yerim a break.
It’s gotten to the point where you travel with them in each state but you barely get to talk with any of them. It was as if you finish a concert, then travel, before instantly starting another. Rehersal after rehersal, song after song, apology after apology.
Your heart was hurting watching them shed silent tears on stage before rushing to their rooms and breaking down. You see how months of preparations were slowly changing to become a mess as they lose members one after the other.
They were wrapping up another song as the lights begin to fade for a transition. But before it became pitch black, you briefly saw your girlfriend hurry off the stage. Dread formed in your chest as you swiftly turn to the stairs and make your way to their rooms.
Security lets you walk by, allowing you to open the door and see your sunshine hunched over on the couch, leaning against the arm rest while holding a bottle of water. “Yerim.”
She lifts her head and sighs in relief when she hears your voice, eyes watering as you sit beside her carefully, gently taking the bottle out of her hand. She leans against your body, head resting on your shoulder while you open the water for her.
You help her as carefully as you could. Not making any huge movements while you considered the amount of energy her body has left. The empty water bottle gave a sign as to how much she currently has, which doesn’t ease the worry that you were feeling.
“You can close your eyes, Yerim. It’s okay, I’m here.” You whisper, noticing the way her eyes close and her breathing began to even out. However, she seemed to have different plans. “We still have half of the c—“
Your eyebrows furrowed before you cut her off, this time, your tone got a little louder than expected. “Stop, Yerim, you’re tired as it is already. You need to rest.”
You curse mentally when you see her flinch, her hands clenching your shirt as a grimace forms on her face. “I’m sorry. But you need to take a rest Yerim, at this rate, you won’t be able to participate for the next half of the tour if you push yourself too much.” You raise your hand to tuck a strand of her hair, cupping her face while caressing her cheek.
She opened her mouth to speak but you stop her arguments by clicking your tongue. “Baby, I know you want to perform for your fans, I get it. But they would understand if you need rest, all of them know how much the company is putting you through. Hundreds of petitions have already gone out to give you girls a break. I know you want to give them a fun exprience but showing them that you are taking a rest instead of going out there to push yourself past your limits is making them happier than anything the concert has to offer.”
You take her hand in yours and intertwine your fingers, lifting them close to your lips before kissing the back of her hand. “If you won’t do it for them, then please, do it for me. I don’t want to see any of you get hurt because of pushing yourselves past the limits.”
Yerim closes her eyes and pushes her face in the crook of your neck, her arms circling your waist to pull you into her body. Soft sobs began to stiffle from your neck and you try your best to hold back the tears that were stinging in your eyes. Throughout this whole tour, you were the one Yerim has been holding on to. She’s been leaning against you everytime she felt like everything was resting on her shoulders.
You were the person that cheered her on and kept her grounded when she feels like she’s about to fall. But what she didn’t know was that you were falling apart each and everytime that you see her get hurt.
Yerim is your sunshine, your star, your soulmate. Every pain she goes through, you experience two fold. There wasn’t a single thing you wouldn’t do just for her smile to come back. Looking at her now, you couldn’t help but tear up because of the struggle she was experiencing. You want to take it all away but all you could do was hold her in your arms, wishing that everything would be fine soon.
You listened to her sniffles and feel the grip on your shirt tighten. “It’s okay, I’m here for you. You can rest.” You whisper, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head. You felt her grip tighten, repositioning as she sits on your lap, head buried in your neck while your arms held her securely.
You sigh and reach for the blanket nearby, draping it over both of you and covered up your girlfriend who seemed to prefer being hidden. There she cried all she wanted, all the stress and burden being lifted off her shoulders while you comfort her all the way through.
You kept her safe in your arms, caressing her back while periodically leaving kisses on her forehead, whispering assuring things to aleviate her stress. Thankfully it all manages to work, since she falls asleep after a few minutes, the last words being a soft thank you before her grip loosens.
Time goes by and the girls soon filter into the room slowly. All of them check on Yerim as soft smiles rest on their faces when they see that she was resting comfortably. They knew the burden Yerim was carrying, they were glad that you are always there to watch over their sister when they couldn’t.
While everyone packs and changes, you never moved a inch, glancing down to observe your girlfriend as a small smile graces her lips in her sleep. “I—love…you, Y/n.” This was the only thing that keeps you going, the smile that you recieve whenever you were with Yerim. It strengthens you, gives you a reason to keep pushing, just to see her smile. You smile softly, leaning down to kiss her forehead which earns smiles and glances from her members.
Their own burdens were also lessened when they saw that Yerim was taken care of. They were happy that their sunshine was in good hands and you would always be happy to do so.
