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âJoin me,â he had said after telling you about the overseas meeting planned for the end of the week.
âJoin youâŠon your business trip? I thought you said this was an important deal. And that it took months to arrange a meeting with this man.â
Yoongi had smiled then, calm and patient as always. âIâll be gone for a week, not just the weekend. He wants me to stay afterward so we can visit one of his workshops before we finalize the contract,â he explained. âTravelling alone for that long sounds incredibly boring.â
Then, after a brief pause, he added softly, âAnd lonely.â
The corners of his lips twitched when he noticed your shy smile.
His gaze lingered on yours before he asked quietly, âWhat do you say?â
How could you possibly refuse?
wc: 4.2k
warnings: none i think? soobin keeps checking in on reader the whole night
a/n: i hope you enjoyyy! i truly hate editing so i skimmed over this while getting the small font and everything like that so i apologize for any mistakes
masterlist
By the time the car pulled up outside your apartment, you had already convinced yourself Soobin had lost his mind. Not in a bad way. But he probably did. You stood by the window with your arms crossed, staring down at the sleek black car parked against the curb in disbelief. It wasnât a limo, thankfully. It wasnât flashy enough to make you immediately turn around and change back into sweatpants, but it was nice enough to make your eyes narrow.
Your phone buzzed in your hand.
soobie :)
carâs there
You looked from the message to the car, then back again.
you
soobin
His reply came almost instantly.
soobie :)
yes?
you
what did i say about dramatic or insane
Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
soobie :)
itâs just a car
thereâs no show i promise
You paused.
you
why would you say that unprompted
soobie :)
because i know you're thinking it
Despite yourself, you smiled. That was the annoying part. You were trying very hard to be normal about this. You had spent the last hour getting ready with the kind of nervous focus that made everything feel more serious than it needed to be. You changed your outfit twice. Then changed back into the first one. Then stood in front of the mirror wondering if you looked like you were trying too hard, only to realize you were literally going on a date with a man who had already admitted to planning something private because he wanted to do it right.
So maybe trying was allowed. Still, you werenât going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
you
if i pull up somewhere with cameras iâm leaving
soobie :)
no cameras
you
if there are staff members clapping iâm leaving
soobie :)
no clapping
you
if you rented out an entire restaurant iâm leaving
This time, his response took longer.
soobie :)
please just get in the car
You stared at the message. Then at the car. Then your eyes went back to the message.
âOh, heâs guilty,â you muttered to yourself.
You grabbed your bag anyway and made it out of your apartment. The driver was polite, opening the door for you without making a big production of it. The inside of the car smelled faintly expensive, like leather and something clean you couldnât place. You settled into the backseat and tried not to look like someone who was deeply, embarrassingly curious.
The drive wasnât long. Which made your curiosity return back to your original suspicion. You watched familiar streets pass by, your brows slowly pulling together as the car turned into a neighborhood you recognized too well.
Â
NoâŠthere was no way.
The car slowed in front of Soobinâs house. For a second, you just sat there. Then you looked down at your phone.
you
soobin
The front door opened before he answered. He stepped outside wearing a white button-up with the sleeves rolled to his forearms, hair soft around his face, expression caught somewhere between nervous and proud. The second he saw you through the window, his smile broke through before he could stop it.
You hated how much that smile worked on you.
The driver opened your door, and you stepped out slowly, still looking around like there had to be some hidden trick.
âSo,â you said, turning to him. âYour big date plan was making me come to your house?â
Soobinâs smile faltered immediately. âNoâwell, yes, but not likeââ He stopped, inhaled, then tried again. âItâs not just my house.â
You lifted a brow.
âThat sounded worse,â he said.
âA little,â you agreed.
âI can explain.â
âYou have thirty seconds.â You teased. Even though you both knew you would stay no matter how long he took to explain.
He nodded quickly, then stepped aside and gestured toward the side gate instead of the front door. âJust come see first. And if you hate it, we can leave. Or order takeout. Or I can pretend this never happened.â
âYouâre spiraling.â
âIâm not,â he said, then paused. âOkay, maybe a little.â
That made you soften before you meant to. Soobin noticed. Of course he did, but he didnât reach for you. Didnât crowd you. He just waited, giving you the choice.
So you walked toward him. âFine,â you said. âShow me.â
His shoulders relaxed. âOkay,â he said quietly. âCome on.â
He led you through the side gate, and the second you stepped into the backyard, your teasing disappeared. It didnât look like his house anymore. Granted you were only here once before but you could still see the difference. The patio had been transformed with warm string lights hanging overhead, soft and golden against the evening sky. A small table sat near the garden, dressed simply with candles, flowers, and two place settings. Nothing too grand. Nothing screaming for attention. Just thoughtful and carefully planned out.
There was music playing low from somewhere, barely loud enough to recognize. A private chef stood near an outdoor setup, focused on plating something while pretending very hard not to notice either of you.
No cameras. No crowd. No performance.
Just his curated plan and him. Just like he had promised.
You looked at Soobin. He was watching your face intently as if your reaction mattered more than anything else in the world.
âI know you said no big scene,â he said softly. âSo I tried not to make one.â
Your chest tightened. âSoobinâŠâ
âI wanted it to feel like somewhere else,â he continued, quieter now. âBut still private. Somewhere you didnât have to worry about people watching us or someone recognizing me or making it weird.â He swallowed. âAnd I wanted to do something nice. Not because Iâm trying to prove anything. Just because you deserve nice things.â
For once, you didnât know what to say right away.
He shifted on his feet, nervous again. âIs this okay?â
You looked back at the lights, the table, the private chef working away off to the side. The care tucked into every detail. Then you looked at him. âYeah,â you said, voice softer than you expected. âItâs okay.â
His smile came slowly this time, relieved and shy.âGood,â he said.
You tried to roll your eyes, but it didnât quite work.âYouâre still insane for sending a car.â
âIt was a normal car.â
âIt was a suspicious car.â You waved your finger as you teased.
âIâll take that feedback.â
âYou better.â
âI will,â he promised.
And the strange thing was, you believed him. He led you toward the table, but he didnât pull out your chair immediately. Instead, he stopped a few feet away like he wanted to give you a second to look around without him hovering over your reaction.
That was the part that got you. Not the lights. Not the flowers. Not the private chef pretending not to exist near the outdoor setup.
It was the restraint.
The old Soobin would have wanted your reaction right away. He would have watched your face too closely, needing every flicker of approval, every softened breath, every sign that he had done enough.
This Soobin still wanted it. You could see that much, but he wasnât reaching for it greedily with both hands.Â
âYouâre staring,â he said, voice quieter now.
You blinked, realizing you had been looking at him instead of the setup.
âSo are you.â
His mouth twitched. âIâm allowed. Youâre my date.â
The word date landed between you, warm and terrifying.
Your stomach dipped. Soobin seemed to catch it because his smile softened into something less teasing. âToo much?â
You shook your head. âNo.â
âOkay.â
He didnât ask again. Didnât make you prove it. He just nodded once and finally stepped forward to pull out your chair. You sat down slowly, smoothing your hands over your lap while he moved around to the other side of the table. For a second, you watched him instead of the candles. The way he adjusted his sleeves. The way he glanced at the chef, then at you, then down at his own place setting like he was trying to remember how normal people behaved on dates.
It made you smile.
âWhat?â he asked.
âNothing.â
âThat was not a nothing smile.â He raised an eyebrow.
âIt was.â
âIt was mean.â He pushed out his bottom lip in a pout.
âIt was fond.â
His expression changed at that. You regretted the word almost immediately. Not because it wasnât true, but because it was. Because fond felt dangerously close to admitting how much of you had already softened before the night even began.
Soobin didnât tease you for it. He only looked down, smiling to himself like he was trying to keep the moment somewhere safe.
âFond is good,â he said quietly.
You looked away first, pretending to study the table. âDonât get used to it.â
âI wonât,â he said.
But his smile said he absolutely would.
The private chef introduced the first course with a polite smile, explaining something about roasted vegetables and a sauce you immediately forgot the name of because Soobin was still looking at you like he was waiting for permission to breathe.
You waited until the chef stepped away before narrowing your eyes at him. âYou can relax now.â
âI am relaxed.â
âYou look like youâre waiting for me to grade you.â You let your expression relax as you watched him.
His mouth opened, then closed.
You pointed your fork at him. âSee?â
Soobin laughed under his breath, glancing down at his plate. âI just want you to have a good time.â
âI am having a good time.â
âAlready?â
âYes, already.â You smiled softly.
âThat fast?â
âYouâre fishing.â
âIâm not.â
âYou are.â
He smiled and the tension in his shoulders finally eased a little.
Dinner was easy, that surprised you most. Not because being around Soobin was hard. It used to be easy in a different way. He was loud, reckless, magnetic. The kind of easy that made you forget to check where you were stepping until the ground disappeared beneath you. This version was quieter. He asked about your week and actually listened when you answered. He didnât interrupt to make a joke when the conversation got too close to something real. He didnât fill every silence like silence meant failure.
Sometimes, he just let the night sit between you. Warm lights, soft music, the soft clink of silverware. His knee brushing yours beneath the table once before he immediately pulled back, eyes flicking up to yours.
âSorry.â
You shook your head. âYouâre fine.â
He nodded, but he still didnât move closer again. That was different, not new like your original thoughts tried to tell you. You were starting to understand the distinction. By the time the second course came, you had stopped waiting for the catch.
Soobin noticed that too. âYouâre less suspicious now,â he said.
You took a sip of water to hide your smile. âDonât get cocky.â
âI wouldnât dare.â
âYou absolutely would.â
âMaybe before.â The words landed softly but they still felt loaded.
You looked up. Soobinâs gaze dropped to his plate for a second, like he hadnât meant to say it that plainly. Then he exhaled, fingers brushing the stem of his glass without lifting it.
âSorry,â he said. âI didnât mean to make it weird.â
âYou didnât.â
He looked at you then as you held his gaze. âYou can say things like that.â
His expression shifted, careful but open. âIâm trying not to overdo it,â he admitted. âThe whole⊠talking about myself thing.â
âThatâs not what I meant when I said I didnât want to carry everything for you.â
âI know.â His answer came quick. Then he paused, like he realized that too, and tried again. âIâm starting to know,â he corrected softly.
You set your fork down. Soobin watched the movement, but he didnât panic. Didnât rush to explain himself before you could react. He just waited. That alone made your chest ache a little.
âI used to think being honest with you meant telling you everything,â he said. âEvery bad thought. Every insecurity. Every time I felt like I was falling apart.â His mouth pulled into something that wasnât quite a smile. âAnd I told myself that was trust.â
You stayed quiet, not because you had nothing to say. You just knew he wasn't finished.
He exhaled a moment before he continued. âBut sometimes I think I was just handing it to you because I didnât know what else to do with it,â he continued. âLike if I gave it to you, then maybe it wouldnât be mine anymore.â
Your throat tightened. âSoobinâŠâ
âI know that wasnât fair,â he said, voice gentle but steady. âAnd Iâm not saying that so youâll tell me it was okay. I know it wasnât.â
That stopped you. There had been a time where he would have said it and waited for comfort. Waited for you to soften the guilt for him. Waited for you to tell him he hadnât hurt you as badly as he thought. He wasnât doing that now. He was just telling the truth and letting it stay there. Not covering up for himself with excuses.
You looked down at your hands for a second, trying to gather yourself. âI wanted to be there for you,â you said quietly. âI still do.â
âI know.â
âBut I didnât want to feel like if I stepped back, youâd fall apart.â
His jaw tightened, but he nodded. âI know,â he repeated, voice soft.
âI didnât want to be the only thing keeping you okay.â
âYou shouldnât have been.â The answer came so simply that it hurt more than if he had made excuses.
Soobin looked at you with something raw in his face. Not desperate or pleading, just honest. âIâm sorry I made you feel like that.â
You breathed in slowly. âI know you are.â
His fingers flexed on the table, close to yours but not touching. âIâm getting help with that,â he said after a moment. âNot just saying I will. Iâm actually doing it.â
Your eyes lifted to his. He looked nervous, but not ashamed.
âIâve been talking to someone, you know that.â he continued. âAnd Iâve been trying to talk to the guys too. Not about you,â he added quickly. âI mean, not in a weird way. Just⊠letting them know when Iâm not okay instead of waiting until Iâm impossible to be around.â
He looked down, smiling faintly. âI donât want you to be my emergency contact for every feeling I donât know how to handle.â
Something in you went still.
Soobin glanced up again. âI want you to be my person,â he said. âBut not my only person.â
For a second, all you could do was stare at him. Because that was it. That was the difference you wanted him to see. Not that he didnât need you or that he had suddenly become perfectly healed, easy and uncomplicated. You just needed him to see that he wasnât asking you to disappear inside the need anymore. You reached across the table before you could overthink it. His eyes flicked down as your hand covered his.
He didnât grab on. He didnât cling. He just turned his palm up slowly, giving you every chance to pull away. You didnât. His fingers curled gently around yours.
âI like being there for you,â you said.
His thumb brushed once over your knuckles. âI like when you are,â he admitted.
âBut I need to know you can stand even when Iâm not holding you up.â
He nodded, eyes shining a little in the candlelight. âI can,â he said. Then, quieter, âIâm learning how to.â
You believed that too. Maybe not blindly or without fear, but enough. Enough to sit across from him under warm lights in the backyard he had turned into somewhere softer. Enough to let his hand hold yours without feeling trapped by it. Enough to think, for the first time in a long time, that maybe safe didnât have to mean untouched by hurt.
Maybe safe could be this. Someone who had hurt you while learning how to not do that. Someone who had needed too much learning on how to ask for less without loving you less. Someone sitting across from you, hand open, waiting.
Soobin looked at your joined hands, then back at you. âIs this okay?â he asked.
You squeezed his fingers. âYeah,â you said softly. âThis is okay.â
After dinner, the chef packed quietly and left through the side gate with a polite goodbye, taking the last bit of formality with him.
The backyard felt different once it was just the two of you. Quieter, more intimate. The candles were lower now, small flames flickering in the glass holders between empty plates and half-finished drinks. The music still played softly from the speakers, something soft enough that it almost blended into the night.
Soobin stood to clear the table.
You reached for your plate at the same time. âI can help.â
He gave you a look. âAbsolutely not.â
âSoobin.â
âNo.â He took the plate from your hand before you could argue. âYou are on a date.â
âAnd you are?â
âAlso on a date,â he said, carrying the dishes toward the outdoor kitchen. âBut Iâm trying to be impressive.â
âYou already hired a chef.â
âIâm trying to be domestically impressive then.â
You laughed, and he glanced back at you like the sound had caught him off guard. It was subtle. The way his expression softened. The way he looked down right after, as if he didnât want to get caught wanting too much from something as simple as your laugh.
But you saw it.
You were starting to see him more clearly now that he wasnât constantly demanding to be seen. When he came back, his hands were empty, but his nerves had returned.
You tilted your head. âWhat?â
âNothing.â
âYou look suspicious again.â Your eyes narrowed.
âIâm not suspicious.â
âYou are extremely suspicious.â You retorted.
He exhaled a laugh, then looked toward the open space beside the table where the lights hung low and golden. âI was going to ask something, but now I feel like youâre going to make fun of me.â
âIâm definitely going to make fun of you.â You teased.
âGreat.â
âBut you should ask anyway.â Your tone was still light but more serious now.
Soobin looked at you for a moment. Then he held out his hand. âDance with me?â
Your heart did something stupid in your chest.
It wasnât a big gesture. No sweeping music change. No sudden spotlight. Just Soobin standing in front of you under string lights, hand extended, asking instead of taking.
You looked at his hand. Then at him. âYou planned this too?â
His mouth twitched. âNo.â
âLiar.â
âI planned the dinner,â he admitted. âI hoped for this.â
Your chest tightened, but you didnât run from it. You placed your hand in his. His fingers closed around yours carefully, like he still couldnât quite believe you had given him permission. He guided you away from the table, slow enough that you could change your mind at any second.
The music wrapped around the two of you as he turned to face you. For a second, neither of you knew where to put your hands. That made you smile, and Soobin huffed out a nervous laugh.
âDonât laugh.â You gave him a serious look.
âIâm not.â He defended.
âYou are.â
âIâm trying to be romantic.â He defended quickly.
âYouâre doing okay.â You shrugged, still teasing him.
âOkay?â he repeated, feigning offense.. âJust okay?â
You stepped closer, your hand settling on his shoulder. âDonât ruin it.â
His teasing faded into something softer.
âI wonât.â
His free hand found your waist, light at first. Barely there. His palm settled over the fabric of your dress like he was afraid of pressing too hard, fingertips barely curving into the soft material. The touch was careful, but it still sent warmth through you, slow and distracting.
You saw the moment he noticed it too. Noticed the way your breath caught. The way your hand tightened on his shoulder. The way you didnât move away.
His thumb shifted once, almost unconsciously, brushing over the seam at your waist. His eyes flicked down for half a second, then back up to yours, darker than they had been before.
âSorry,â he murmured.
âYou keep apologizing.â
âI keep wanting to touch you more than I should.â
The honesty of it stole whatever teasing response you had ready. For a second, neither of you moved. Then you stepped closer, just enough for his hand to fit more securely against you.
âYouâre allowed to want me,â you said softly. âIâll tell you if itâs too much.â
Soobinâs breath caught again and this time, he didnât apologize.Â
For a while, you only moved together. Slowly. Awkwardly at first, then easier. His thumb brushed once against your waist, and your fingers tightened at his shoulder. His eyes flicked down to your mouth before returning to your face so quickly you might have missed it if you hadnât been watching him just as closely.
âSoobin,â you said softly.
âYeah?â
âYouâre thinking too loud.â
A faint smile touched his mouth. âSorry.â
âWhat are you thinking?â
He swallowed. âThat I really want to kiss you.â
Everything went still. The music. The lights. The night around you. Or maybe that was just your mind playing tricks.
His hand stayed at your waist, but he didnât pull you closer. His eyes searched yours, open and careful and painfully restrained.
âBut I donât want to assume,â he said. âAnd I donât want to make you feel like you have to because this is going well.â
Your throat tightened.
This was what undid you. Not the dinner. Not the lights. Not the car or the chef or the effort he had folded into every detail of the night.
It was this. It was Soobin wanting you and still leaving room for your answer. You looked at him, at the nervous hope he was trying so hard not to turn into pressure, and something inside you finally gave.
âYou can kiss me,â you said.
His expression changed. Not into triumph, it wasn't really relief either. But it was something softer. âYeah?â
You nodded. âYeah.â
He leaned in slowly. So slowly it almost hurt. Your eyes fluttered shut just before his mouth touched yours.
The kiss was gentle at first. Almost feeling like a question pressed against your lips. Then your hand slid from his shoulder to the back of his neck, and Soobin made the quietest sound against your mouth, like the last of his restraint had cracked.
The kiss deepened. Not rushed or reckless yet. His arm wrapped more securely around your waist, pulling you closer only after you leaned into him first. Your fingers curled into the ends of his hair, and he kissed you like he had been waiting weeks to do it right. Like every apology, every boundary, every careful step back had led him here.
He knew not to take, not to demand, but to meet you where you were finally willing to stand. You felt it everywhere. In the warmth of his hand at your back. In the way his fingers spread over the soft fabric of your dress, not gripping, not taking, just holding like he was memorizing the shape of you through it. In the way he tilted his head to kiss you deeper and how he still paused, barely, giving you space to breathe.
You kissed him again instead, not wanting to accept the gap between you. The second kiss was less careful. Still gentle, still patient, but there was no pretending anymore. His hand slid a little farther around your waist, fingers flexing once against the material as your body leaned into his before your mind could argue. Soobin accepted the closeness with a quiet breath against your mouth.
He didnât rush you. That somehow made it worse. Every pause felt intentional. Every brush of his thumb against your side felt like a question he knew how to ask properly now. Your hand moved from his neck so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders and he shivered beneath your touch, the reaction so immediate that your stomach tightened.
âYouâre doing that on purpose,â he whispered against your lips.
âDoing what?â
âMaking it hard to be good.â He mumbled against your lips.
Your mouth curved faintly. âI thought you were reformed.â
âIâm trying,â he said, voice low. âVery hard.â
The words hung between you, warm and dangerous. Yet he still didnât take more than you gave him. He only held you there under the lights, hands at your waist like he was reminding himself that wanting you didnât mean forgetting how to wait.
Soobinâs breath trembled when you pulled back just enough to look at him. His forehead rested against yours, eyes still closed, mouth parted like he was afraid speaking would break whatever fragile thing had just settled between you.
You smiled faintly. âYou okay?â
He let out a breathless laugh. âNo.â
Your brows lifted. His eyes opened, soft and dark and overwhelmed in the best way.
âBut in a good way,â he said quickly.
You laughed, and his hand tightened gently at your waist.
âDonât make fun of me,â he murmured.
âIâm not.â
âYou are.â
âA little.â
His smile came slowly. Then his gaze dropped to your mouth again. This time, he didnât ask with words. He asked by waiting and you answered by closing the distance yourself.
Pairing: Non-Idol Lee Jihoon x F. Reader
WC: 4.9+k
Rating: G, but my page is 18+ so MDNI
Genre: Non-Idol AU, Strangers to ???
Summary: Jihoon likes to live simple. Heâs not into flashy stuff, heâs modest, and heâs content where his life is, but one thing isnât simple. Is the girl who works the counter of the shop by his house.
Tags: Fluff, flirting, a little yearning, eating, kissing
A/N: This is my final submission for The Reef in Bloom Collab by @dorereef, and my first official Jihoon fic. I would like to once more thank @nothoughtsjustfic and @mylovesstuffs for not only hosting this collab but also creating such a great network to be part of, for readers and writers alike.
A/N: Thank you to @gam3bo17 for letting me use your name in this and betaing. :) I hope you all enjoy!!!
Banner and Divider is made by me.
Seventeen Masterlist
Lee Jihoon was a simple man and wasnât someone who wanted too much out of life. He just wanted to live his life quietly and comfortably. He didnât need all the things capitalism told society they needed.
He didnât need the latest car model, happily driving around in a previously owned model. He didnât need a large home with more rooms than people living there, he was content with his two bedroom home that was big enough for him. His clothes werenât fancy luxury brands, with a lot of it thrifted and second hand. As long as they were comfortable and fit well, he was happy.
He had some of the best friends a man could ask for, and a cat that loved him.
If only everything in his life was simple.
You were the clerk at his favorite little corner shop, working nearly every time he came in, always greeting customers with a bright smile and a happy âhelloâ. Now, he would be lying if he didnât think you were one of the prettiest people he had ever seen, or that your smile didnât brighten his day. He would definitely be lying if it didnât settle in his chest in a way that wasnât so simple.
He had to convince himself that he wasnât special compared to the next customer to enter the small shop, nor was he the only one who would get that cute smile and greeting. He wasnât the only one who would stay back after their purchases to chat with you, everyone would. You treated everyone like an old friend, always remembering little things about each person that came to your till.
âHowâs your wife doing? I do hope you are helping with the baby and taking him when she needs to rest.â You playfully scold Chan when he would come in for things for his wife and newborn son. âIf you need anything though, let me know. I can always come by on one of my days off with dinner and watch him while you two have some time to yourselves.â
âDid the recipe work? I know she had to of loved it.â You giggled with Seungcheol after youâd given him one of your favorite recipes to help impress his girlfriend, only to learn he burnt it and they ordered pizza instead. âOh well, maybe next time.â
âHave I told you that you have the coolest robot in the entire world? Iâm super jealous that it can shoot lasers.â You humored a little girl who would be clinging to a little robot action figure whenever she was in, before chatting her mother about their dinner plans.
So, when you would ask about his cat, how his music is going, or bring up something he mentioned in passing Jihoon had to remind himself that you were only doing it to be friendly. You were like this with everyone, and he was no different than the next person. You were simply just doing your job.
Except there were times that did make him wonder. There was a shine to your eyes when he would walk in, sometimes your greeting would be brighter, and your smile would sometimes soften to a shyer one when he would stay back to talk to you. While your laugh would be a little louder when he would make a joke, or you would take to chewing your bottom lip more.
Making you even prettier than you already were.
But he had to remind himself that he wasnât any more special than the next person to come to her counter. It was probably simpler that way. Only he didnât see the way your eyes would follow him when he would walk in or see the way your hand balled up into a fist when he would leave.
Wishing you had said something more and make your interest known.
Every weekend when spring starts the center of town would be filled with vendor booths, crowds of people from surrounding towns and would go until the end of summer. Selling different things like candles, candies, baked goods, trinkets, clothes, fruit and vegetables that were in season. Other booths would sell hot foods and cool drinks for people to enjoy as they browse, with some offering homemade ice cream when the days got hot.
It wasnât the type of thing that Jihoon would usually go to, finding it was always too crowded and most the items being sold would just add clutter to oneâs home, but he did find some of the food to be pretty decent. So, him being there on a Saturday wasnât by his own choice, but his friend Wonwoo who was being dragged by his wife.
She had insisted that her husband needed to get out of the house more, and somehow this also meant that Jihoon did too.
Which he wouldnât have exactly minded, had they not disappeared into the crowd as soon as they got there, leaving him to browse the booths alone. Hands in his jeans pocket, avoiding eye contact with the vendors as he browsed; not wanting to give them a chance to talk to him or attempt to sell him anything. Every so often he would catch sight of Wonwoo and his wife Adri, but they would be gone just as quickly as he would see them.
Then he saw you.
You were standing at one of the florist stands, talking and laughing with the elderly woman running the booth with your gaze on the beautiful flowers that were being sold. Jihoon found himself rooted to the spot, watching the way your face would light up from your smile and how your laughter would float to him like a melody only he ever wanted to hear.
You mustâve felt his gaze since your laughter faded as you looked his way, but your smile still played over your pretty lips as your eyes met. Giving a quick goodbye to the vendor, you adjusted the pink knitted tote on your shoulder as you made your way toward him.
Jihoon had to be mad to think that your smile got wider and there was a shine of excitement in your eyes at the sight of him.
âJihoon, right?â You asked once closer, and he nodded with the corner of his lips upturning when you bounced with excitement. He then responded with your own name and braced himself for the chance he had gotten it wrong (that would be so embarrassing), and you nodded with the same enthusiasm. âItâs so nice to see you!â
âItâs nice to see you as well.â The words came out a little higher than he wouldâve liked, having to cough to clear his throat. Of course, his voice would crack when talking to you, but you didnât seem to notice. Or if you did, you didnât say anything about it.
âHave you tried Mrs. Minâs lemon bars yet?â You didnât miss a beat with your question, taking Jihoon a bit by surprise.
It was well known that the food in the market was decent, some of the best in fact, and one of the biggest reasons many would show up every weekend. Hell, most his friends would willingly get up during the weekend just to go eat, Â and he had even tried many of the different dishes over the years himself, but not everything.
Like Mrs. Minâs lemon bars.
âI have not.â When he said those words, you let out a gasp before hopping (thatâs the only way he could describe it) next to him. You hooked your arms around his, with your hand resting over his plaid covered bicep, tilting your head to look up at him.
It was then he realized you were shorter with him, and it somehow endeared you to him more.
âThen you have not lived yet.â The giggle that left you sounded so sweet to him, probably sweeter than the lemon bars that you were leading him to, but he was still processing you touching him.
You didnât need to pull at him to follow you, finding himself easily falling into step with your little skips, filling the air with chatter as you walked. Telling him stories that eventually blended in with each other then took different directions to the point he barely was able to keep up. He didnât seem to mind though.
He liked the sound of your voice and didnât want to stop hearing it by interrupting with questions so he wouldnât be so lost in your chatter. He rather take not knowing then not hear you.
âHere we are!â You said with excitement, the story you were telling forgotten now that you were standing at the pastry booth. Mrs. Minâs Breads and Pastries, said the sign. You then call out to the woman running the booth; a friend of yours. âRuby! Could I get two of your famous lemon bars? Oh! And those orange bars too!â You then turned to Jihoon, âThey are just like lemon bars, but even better cause theyâre made with oranges.â
âI havenât even tried the lemon bars yet.â Jihoon pointed out, with a soft chuckle, taking in how cute you were. Waiting impatiently for the pastries to be picked out and handed to you.
âI know, but what the hell right? Why not try both?â You answer, already handing over a couple of wadded bills, paying before Jihoon had the chance to offer. Taking the container that had the treats in it, you turned toward him suddenly with your smile even wider and body buzzing with excitement.
Jihoon might have just fallen in love with you.
Instead of grasping his arm, you reached out to take his hand to lead him to a grassy patch right behind the booth. Jihoonâs eyes stayed on your interlocked hands, not registering anything you had said to him until you had let go to sit. Gazing at his hand, he could still feel the weight of yours against it, slow to curl it into a fist now that you were no longer holding it.
He wanted to take your hand again, feel your smooth palm against his again. It made him wonder if it would be the same if you hugged him. Would he still feel the weight of your arms around his neck? Would your body imprint against his after the embrace? Those thoughts were quick to lead him to wonder if he was to kiss you, would he still feel your lips against his? Would they be as soft as they looked?
âJihoon?â Your voice filtered through his clouded thoughts, your head tilted in curiosity. âAre you going to sit? Should we find a bench instead?â
It was then he realized that he was still standing while you were now sitting and was using your bag as a table for the container and the sweet treats inside it. The very ones that you were excited for him to try and brought him to this moment.
âSorry,â He mumbled, awkwardly sitting next to you on the grass, ignoring that it was still slightly damp from the morning dew. You didnât seem to notice or care, so why should he? âSo these are the lemon and orange bars?â
âYes, and they are so good.â You lift the container lid to show him the lemon and orange curds resting on what looked like a pie crust type and topped with powdered sugar. The sweet smell of lemons and oranges met his nose, and he glanced up toward you. âTry the lemon first.â
He tentatively takes one of the yellow squares while you took the other, but you were too focused on watching his reaction; causing you to miss your mouth and hit your cheek instead. Jihoon couldnât stop himself from laughing at your antics, thinking you were even cuter than he already did. Especially when you glanced at him to see if he had caught your blunder, not realizing that there was a little lemon left on your cheek.
Then he did something that neither of you expected. He reached over and swiped it away with his thumb before slipping it into his mouth, tasting the balance between the sweet and tartness. It left you sitting there stunned, mouth slightly open, eyes wide and completely speechless by the action. Heat started to burn at your cheeks, and there was a shine to your eyes.
Different from the usual one he would see, this one was a little darker as if the simple action did something more to you. One that Jihoon was hoping he wasnât misreading, making his gaze drop to your lips. Parted slightly from his action; soft, plush, and inviting. He wanted to kiss away the surprised expression until you were giggling and smiling again.
Maybe one day he would be able to.
âYou okay?â His question brought you back from your daze, with it being him to tilt his head in curiosity. Except that smile was more of a smirk now, attempting to hold onto this sudden boldness that was coursing through him.
âUh, yeahâŠI justâŠâ You break away from his gaze to look down at the lemon bar in your hands, your bottom now trapped between your teeth. You cast a glance back up to him, not expecting his focus to be on you; with a dark strand of hair falling over his brown. Just him sitting there looking at you like this made you struggle with your words. âTruth is⊠I...â You look like you were going to say something, or trying to get the courage to, before taking a slow deep breath. Looking at him again, you were now wearing a shy smile, âLetâs eat.â
Jihoon was a little disappointed when you changed the subject and possibly would have worried that he was overstepping had it not been for the way you were looking at him. Or how they were looking at his lips then back to his eyes. While he would be the first to admit that he not always the best at knowing if someone was interested in him, there was no mistaking that you had some interest in him.
Taking a bite of the treat, he took his time chewing it. Tasting the familiar lemon that he swiped off your cheek, now mixed with the crust and the powdered sugar. It was good, but he was more interested in your reaction, and the way your eyes lit up. Waiting for his reaction and/or opinion on it.
Swallowing, he took another bite before licking his lips of the powdered sugar and crumbs.
âWell?â You asked, and he nodded.
âItâs good.â He kept his response simple, finishing what was left in his hand. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the way your face then lit up, a happy smile stretching over your lips and back was that little bounce you had to you.
âIsnât it? Wait until you try the orange one. It will change your life.â You hadnât even taken a bite of yours yet, but you were already to grab the orange bar for him. This made him chuckle and shake his head.
âHow about you finish the one in your hand, and then we can enjoy the orange ones together?â He suggested, feeling himself grow more comfortable with you by the second. How did he end up getting so lucky you were willing to spend your Saturday with him?
âOh, okayâŠâ Your words seemed to come out almost breathless, sucking in your bottom lip before releasing it and taking a bite of the bar in your hand. Jihoon couldnât tear his gaze from your lips, now coated with powdered sugar before you tried to lick it all away.
Just that small action made his heart quicken and his breath catch. It made him think of how much sweeter this treat would taste on your lips, even better on your tongue. Shaking his head, he needed to get these thoughts out of his head, feeling borderline delusional almost.
âI seriously love these,â You told him, with it helping shake the thought of kissing you and brought his focus back to you sitting in front of him. You had taken the last bite of your lemon bar, looking at him as you did. Powdered sugar still all over your face, despite your attempts to lick it all away, his smile changing to a slight amused one. Only it made you blink in confusion, âDo I have something on my face?â
âYouâreâŠâ Jihoon let out a soft chuckle, motioning around his mouth as he said this, âYouâre covered in powdered sugar.â
âOh, shit, really?â You turned toward your bag to pull something before turning back with a playful smile now on your lips, before tapping them, âI can actually say the same thing for you.â
Jihoonâs hand flew up to his own mouth, wiping away the sugar that had collected at the corner of his lips, the blush that had subsided back with a vengeance. You giggled before reaching for his hand, cleaning the clumped up powder with a small blue handkerchief.
You didnât let go right away, allowing him a better chance to feel how soft your hands were against his rougher ones, holding onto him longer than you probably should have but neither of you seem to care. When you finally let go, the ghost of your hand still lingered on his while you sat the handkerchief down and grabbed the remaining two bars.
âNow it is time to finally come to life.â You tease, handing over the bar, once more taking your time to move your hand away.
âI think I already did,â He said softly, not talking about the bars, and this time you wouldnât look at him, paying attention to the orange treat in your hands. Together the two of you took a bite, and Jihoon couldnât help but agree with you. The lemon bar was good, though he probably only liked it because you were there, but this one was actually delicious. âWow.â
âRight?! Life changing.â You sigh happily, chewing happily at the pastry. âDo you come to these things often?â
âNo, actually.â Jihoon answered honestly, already finishing the bar and you handed him the handkerchief to wipe away the sugar. âI typically just stay home, and if I need anything, I can just go by the corner shop.â He looks around the crowd of people to see if he could catch a glimpse of Wonwoo and Adri, but no luck. âMy friend Wonwoo and his wife dragged me along today.â
âOh, so here against your will I take it?â You ask, taking your time eating as you watched him with a curious gaze. He nodded. âWell, I donât know how you feel about it, but I am happy that you were forced to come. I mean, how else will you try these amazing treats?â
âMe too,â He answered with a laugh, and the two of you slipped into a light conversation. With you asking him random questions about himself, which he answered, and you then answered his questions.
The fruit bars now long gone, but neither of you moved from your place in the grass. Not caring about the people walking by you, or the curious glances of people that knew you both. Lee Jihoon and you, sitting together, with you talking animatedly to him, laughing together, and he looked at you like you hung the sky.
âI should probably see where these two are.â Jihoon said at one point, pulling his phone out of his pocket to call Wonwoo. Honestly, he had almost completely forgotten that he had lost his friend in the crowd hours earlier, lost in talking with you. Hitting the call button on his friendâs contact, he held the phone to his ear as it rang.
Wonwoo answered after the first couple of rings.
âHey, where you guys at?â As he listened to his friendâs response, Jihoonâs eyes stayed on you while you closed up the container that once held the bars. You were doing your best to not give away that you were listening in or hiding the look of disappointment on your face.
You were about to say your goodbyes and go your separate ways. Back to normal life, back to him just being a patron of the shop you work at, and back to you wishing you could say more. Hoping he would say more.
Fate can be a funny thing though. Since Wonwoo and Adri had left nearly an hour earlier and didnât tell him.
âWhat you mean you two left?â Jihoonâs voice change caused you to look at him, watching the smile he was wearing turn to a deep frown. âI came with you guys. Why didnât you call me, or come find me?â
âSorry, Adri was getting a headache so I took her home so she can lay down. I was going to call you butâŠâ Jihoon cut him off by an annoyed tsk, which he was sure was making his friend feel guilty. âDo you want me to come get you?â
âJihoon.â You said softly, leaning toward him, stopping him from agreeing for his friend to come pick him up. He raised a brow at you, and you gave him a hopeful smile, âI can take you home or back to your car⊠Wonwoo doesnât have to come all the way back to get you.â
âYou sure?â He asked, proud of himself that he is keeping as calm as he was outwardly, because inside he felt like he was freaking out. He didnât want to inconvenience you, even if you offered, but he also wasnât exactly wanting to leave you yet.
âYeah, I donât mind.â He was suddenly aware of how close you two actually were and that you were touching his arm. Your touch barely felt under the layers of clothes, but he could still feel the warmth coming from it.
âYou know what, donât worry about it.â Jihoon said into the phone after a minute, witnessing before his eyes as you lit up in a way that he hadnât seen before. Hanging up with his friend, he couldnât help but say something. âYou seem excited to take me home.â
âWhat can I say?â Giving him a wink, you stood to brush the dirt off the back of your jeans before offering him your hand. Which he took and you helped him stand, and with your bottom lip between your lip you add. âIâm not ready to stop hanging out just yet.â
If you were able to see inside Jihoonâs chest, you would be able to see how quick his heart was beating and that his lungs were almost robbed of breath. There was no mistaken the way you were looking at him, eyes filled with adoration and how you were chewing your bottom lip, that you were interested in him. Interested in spending more time with him.
And it was not lost on either of you that you were still holding onto each otherâs hands.
âGood, because Iâm not either.â
It was well past one when you left the market together, with you talking animatedly as you lead him to your car. Your palm pressed against his clammy one, but you didnât care so neither did he. Jihoon had left his car at Wonwooâs, since he had rode with the couple that morning, and it surprised him when you told him you knew exactly where they lived.
âI know Adri through Ruby.â You told him when he went to question you, grabbing and handing over a large CD binder from behind you before buckling in. The bright blue binder heavy in his hands, âWeâre taking the long way there though, so pick some tunes.â
âYou still use CDs?â Jihoon asked, looking through the pages full of CDs, impressed that you still used them. So many, like him, had switched to playing music through an app on their phone or programmed into their car.
âItâs either that or the radio.â You tell him, âAnd I donât feel the need to have some fancy Bluetooth set up in my car. Besides there is still something special about listening through a CD instead of through some app. Be sure to buckle up.â
Jihoon let out a laugh, doing as you told him, buckling in and choosing a CD from one of the pages. A Bruno Mars album. You pull off as the music started to play, and he turned it down so that you didnât have to yell over it to be heard.
You werenât lying when you said you were going to take the long way back to the coupleâs home, taking as many back streets as possible. Conversations continued naturally like it had at the market, and of course you ended up rambling. Though this time you managed to keep it to three different stories that somehow intertwined, but he didnât mind as long as he got to hear your voice and laugh more.
The afternoon sun shined bright through the car window, making you attempt the drop the visor and slip on the sunglasses that fell down; especially since the visor did nothing to help shield you from the rays. Leaving you grumbling between your responses in the conversation.
When you finally got to your destination, Jihoon didnât make any motion to get out of the car. He stayed there so you could finish your story about when your cat got stuck in your ceiling.
âI had to call my brother, and heâs allergic to cats so it took so much convincing.â You sigh, dropping your head back against the headrest then looked his direction. Realizing that you may have taken over most the airtime in the car ride. âSorry, I am rambling again.â
âDonât be. I donât mind it.â He answered, waving off your concern before flashing you a grin. âMeans I donât have to as much.â
âI do it a lot when Iâm nervous, but something tells me that if I can shut up long enough, youâd be a chatter box.â
âDo I make you nervous?â Jihoon asked you, watching with mild amusement as you realized what you had just said.
âOh⊠uh⊠yeah, a little.â You stuttered out, looking down at your steering wheel before licking you lips. âIâŠâ You let out a laugh, nervous but sweet sounding, âIâŠI kind of have a bit of a crush on youâŠâ
âYou do?â Turning your gaze toward him, you nodded which in turned made him laugh. âWhat you knowâŠâ Both of you suddenly became aware that you were now leaning toward each other. âI do too.â
A squeak left you before Jihoon finally closed the remaining distance to kiss you. It was brief, testing, but the soft pressure of your lips felt like heaven and the soft sigh that left you made him want to kiss you again.
âWowâŠâ Your voice was breathless, lightly brushing your fingers against you bottom lip, sitting back in your seat.
âI should get goingâŠâ Jihoon finally spoke after a moment, catching the way your nod was small and a little disappointing. He didnât want to end this either, but if he didnât get out of this car, he may never leave your side again. âWould you like to have dinner with me? Tomorrow night sound good?â
âI close the shop, but I can come by after if you donât mind a late night dinner.â There was hopefulness in your eyes when you offered this but quickly blurted out. âUnless another night works better.â
âNo, we can do a late dinner. My place?â You started to nod your head quickly in excitement, and it made him laugh at how cute you were being. Dropping his gaze to your lips, Jihoon had to hold himself back from diving in for another kiss. Part of him confident that this wonât be the last time he got to kiss them.
You exchange numbers, before he finally slipped out of the car after bidding you goodbye for now. His heart racing as he watched you pulled out of your parking spot, with a small wave and a smile that felt even better than the one you would give to anyone else.
This smile. It was just for Jihoon.
You were vibrating when you got back to your place, unable to contain the excitement or the cloud nine feeling that was coursing through you. The entire day felt like a dream but the gentle pressure of Jihoonâs lips lingering on yours was proof that it very much was real.
And now you were going to go on a date with him.
You barely were inside the small apartment before you were pulling out your phone to make a phone call. After a few rings, the person on the other end picked up.
âAbout time!â Adriâs voice filtered through the speaker. âI see that the plan worked?â
âIt did! Weâre having dinner tomorrow night.â You squeal into the phone, dropping back down onto your sofa and kicked your feet in excitement. âAdri, heâs so amazing⊠I didnât want today to end, I didnât want to leave him. I want to kiss him again.â
âUgh, you are going to be even more insufferable about him now.â Her faux disgust made the two of you burst out into giggles.
Thank you for reading! I do hope you enjoyed this fic! I am not used to writing pure fluff so, but I did have fun writing this!
As always Reblogs, and comments are appreciated! It doesn't just let my fic reach more people, it also is great to know I am doing well!
Please be sure to check out all the other wonderful fics from this collab and show everyone love!
GENREÂ |Â romantic comedy, smut, angst, drama, childhood friends to lovers, meta, breaking the fourth wall(?)
CONTENT/WARNINGSÂ | Â full nsfw warnings in the full fic, non-idols au, swearing, comedy, self-aware characters, verbal jabs,
LENGTHÂ |Â teaser: 2.1K words | full fic: TBD
NETWORKSÂ | Â @k-vanity @ksmutsociety @cosyhomenet
TAGLIST | (join the taglist here)
AUTHORâS NOTE | This is a teaser for my upcoming fic for SVTFLIX hosted by @100vern. This is definitely going to be the weirdest fic I've ever written and I'm really having fun writing this. It's loosely inspired by the k-drama Extra-Ordinary You, so check that out!â€ïž
RELEASE DATE | sometime at the end of June
Seventeen Masterlist | Main Masterlist
PANEL 1 â WIDE SHOT: CAMPUS QUAD, GOLDEN HOUR.
Students stroll across the lawn in perfect symmetry. Cherry blossoms drift in slow motion. A sparkly pink narration box hovers above the scene like a smug cloud.
NARRATION: Springtime at Carat University, where love blooms, hearts flutter, and destiny awaits...
PANEL 2 â CLOSE ON YOU
Youâre standing dead center, holding a coffee. You stare directly at the narration box with the expression of someone who's been dealing with this for far too long.
âDonât you dare,â you warn it.
The narration box flickers.
NARRATION: ...and the villainess plots her nextâ
âNOPE,â you snap, grabbing the box midâair like itâs a misbehaving balloon. âWe talked about this. No villain monologues before 9 a.m.â You fold the narration box until it is the approximate dimensions of a post-it note and shove it into your pocket.
The rest of the campus, meanwhile, bustles around you like nothing happened. Like it never happens. Like there isn't a floating narration box following you from birth and plotting your eventual fall from grace. You really should start looking into those therapy services offered by the mental health office. You know they can't help you with "being narrated since birth" but it's probably the next best thing, right?
Anyway, it's spring and, frankly, you're very tired.
You, Y/N, are the notorious campus queen: the stunning daughter of an affluent political family and the presumed villainous antagonistic force in Kim Mingyu's, your childhood friend, star-crossed love story. For three volumes and counting, you, Mingyu and Lee Ara have fallen into a rhythmic dance of misunderstandings, relationship dramas, and flashy battles all leading to one, inevitable conclusion: Mingyu and Ara will fall in love and live happily ever after.
Or that's how it's supposed to work.
Except none of that happens in the shadows, the white spaces that the Writer's pen never quite fills in. Those are the places where characters come to life in ways even the omnipotent Writer can't see coming. Like when Mingyu saved you from a car last spring. Or that night you snuck into the school pool together and splashed around instead of studying. When it was just the two of you, when no one could see, no one was writing. When everything seemed perfectly scripted without a script.
In those moments, when the narration box couldn't reach you, nothing else seemed quite as important as his smile.
Until the next scene began, that was.
You don't remember when you and Mingyu became aware of the fact that none of this was real. You always thought that you were losing your memory, wondering how you ended up at home when you were just in class seconds ago, how so much time seemed to pass without your realizing it. It didn't click until you were aimlessly roaming the school halls one afternoon and noticed the air fluttering unnaturally around you, things moving floating out of place in the corner of your vision and an unsettling feeling of something. A presence? A monster? A force beyond your knowing and naming trying to reach out to you.
When you talked to people, they'd be confused or dismissive, thinking you're joking. And when you'd ask them again some time later, they wouldn't know what you meant and keep repeating the same responses over and over, no matter how many times you would try and ask, hoping it'd finally ilicit a different response.
Finally, you tried talking to Mingyu about what was happening to you, only to find Mingyu was feeling exactly the same way. That things were happening without his express conscious will, and he felt the presence of something vaguely sinister outside of his direct sphere.
That's when you both realized the absurd, nonsensical reality that you're living in a webtoon, in a narrative world crafted by someone who felt very little need or concern for either of your agency. That something, a presence beyond human knowledge and imagination, was dictating and guiding you along towards an end goal: an inevitable romance between Kim Mingyu, the male lead, and Lee Ara, the female lead, and you're left to be the evil side character who had to be defeated for Mingyu and Ara to obtain their Happy Ever After.
Which sucks ass because you really like Mingyu. Maybe even a little too much. And you know, deep down, that the feeling is mutual. The Writer might make you do whatever she wants to further the plot, like flirt with Mingyu against your will during scripted love tropes. But whenever the writer isn't actively intervening, you get to be just you and Mingyu, and not the fictional, plot-dictated versions of you two that are forced together by the writer. You wonder sometimes, if it wasn't for this damned world, if you'd be happily dating each other.
You feel the narration box wriggling in your pocket, desperate to escape and comment. To announce loudly, obviously that you'll do whatever you can to disrupt Kim Mingyu and Lee Ara from meeting, but ultimately end up helping the course of fate along because the Writer makes it so. Because the narrative demands a twist at the very last second, and Kim Mingyu can't end up with you.
With a sigh, you take the now much smaller narration box out and unfold it, letting its words be absorbed back into reality:
NARRATION: ...and the villainess plots her next loser plan to keep our golden boy and pure maiden away from each other.
"I fucking hate you," you mutter under your breath.
Just then, a slim figure rounds the corner: Lee Ara in all of her oblivious perfection, wearing a fluffy dress that no college student would survive in, looking very much like she is running towards you.
PANEL 3 â BUST SHOT: YOU, GLOWERING.
Your lips curl up into your default, scheming smile. You really wish it didn't feel so natural.
PANEL 4 â EXTREME CLOSE UP ON LEE ARA.
Her hair blows dramatically out of the way as she stares determinedly ahead like this isn't a typical, daily interaction for the two of you. You can't tell if it's supposed to look brave or goofy, but it sure isn't intimidating.
"Ara, you look absolutely stunning today," you feel your eye twitch as the words leave your mouth, words you didn't choose, didn't want to say, words that materialized on your tongue like someone else is operating your vocal cords.
Which, technically, someone was.
Ara blinks up at you with those impossibly wide doe eyes. "Oh! Um, thank you? That's... really nice of you to say."
No, it fucking isn't, you thought viciously, even as your face arranges itself into what you know is a calculated, mean-girl smirk.
"I just wanted to say," your mouth continues without your permission, and you feel the familiar horror of a scripted scene taking over, "that dress is so brave. Not everyone could pull off that... particular shade of yellow."
There it is. The backhanded compliment. Right on schedule.
Ara's face falls slightly, and you want to scream. You helped her pick out that dress last week during your actual, off-page friendship that the Writer conveniently ignores. You told her the sunshine yellow made her look like bottled happiness.
"Oh," Ara says softly. "I... thank you?"
"If you like looking like you're blocking traffic, then feel free to keep wearing it," you snort and then the scene releases you like a puppet with cut strings, and you immediately grab Ara's arm. "Wait, that came out wrongâ"
PANEL 5 â ARA TURNS.
She's already walking away, and you know why. The Writer has got what they wanted: another moment of you being terrible to the heroine. Another panel of the villainess doing villainess things.
You stand there in the middle of the quad, students flowing around you like water around a stone, and contemplate the very real possibility of screaming until your throat bleeds.
"Rough scene?"
You don't have to turn around to know who it is. You recognize that voice anywhere. It's the voice that makes your stomach do complicated acrobatic routines, the one that belongs to your best friend since childhood, the one that's supposed to fall in love with Ara and definitely not with you.
"Mingyu," you say, turning to face him. "I just told Ara her dress makes her look like a jaundiced traffic cone. How do you think it went?"
Mingyu winces, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. He's wearing his usual off-scene outfit: an oversized hoodie that's seen better days, glasses slightly askew, hair unstyled and falling into his eyes. He looks nothing like the chiseled, perfectly-coiffed golden boy who appeared in the actual comic panels.
"Ouch," he says. "Did you at least get to apologize before the scene ended?"
"Tried. She walked away. The Writer probably needed her to be sad for the next panel where you comfort her and she realizes she has feelings for you for the millionth time," you make a gagging noise. "I hate this. I hate all of this."
"I know," Mingyu falls into step beside you as you start walking toward your next class. "I had a scene this morning where I had to flex at the gym for fifteen minutes while Ara watched from the doorway. Fifteen minutes, Y/N. Do you know how long fifteen minutes of flexing is?"
Despite everything, you snort. "Did you at least get a good pump?"
"I got a cramp in my left bicep and the overwhelming desire to go home and read my economics textbook," he pauses. "Which I did, by the way. Chapter twelve is fascinating. Did you know thatâ"
"Mingyu, I love you, but if you start explaining supply and demand curves right now, I will push you into that trash can."
The words hung in the air for a moment. I love you. You said it all the time, had said it for years, best friends who'd grown up together and know each other's every secret.
But lately, the words felt heavier.
Mingyu's ears turned red, they always did when you said it, even casually, and he clears his throat. "Right. No economics. Got it."
You reach your classroom and stop, turning to face him fully. He's tall, he'd always been tall, but he hunches slightly, like he's trying to take up less space. It's such a contrast to his on-page persona, where he stands with the confidence of someone who'd never doubted himself a day in his life.
"Same time tonight?" you ask. "My place? We can finish studying for that chem mid."
His face splits into a grin, a wide, boyish one that makes his glasses slide down to the tip of his nose. "Definitely," he agrees. "Maybe without the interruption this time."
PANEL 6 â ARA WALKING TOWARDS MINGYU
"And here I go," you mutter, "back to fading into the background so these two can have their meet-cute."
"I'm really sorry," Mingyu says again, "and I know that doesn't mean anything. I hope I canâ"
NARRATION: ...Kim Mingyu notices his true love standing alone in the corner, a beautiful flower ready to bloom into...
"You changed into your jock gear," you note, sounding unimpressed, as Mingyu looks down and realizes that yes, he's wearing the clothes his character usually wears to work out instead of the sweater he wore before.
"Fuck," he sighs, "Here I go, I guess."
"You want me to text you after?" you ask him.
He nods, giving you a strained smile, and says, "Please."
PANEL 7 â SLOW ZOOM-IN ON ARA'S FLAWLESS SKIN AS SHE LOOKS UP AND ATTENDS MINGYU'S DAZZLING SMILE, HEARTS POPPING AROUND HER AS WE DRAMATICALLY FOCUS IN ON MINGYU.
"Ara! Just the girl I wanted to see."
You let out a long sigh, before turning away from the pair. Your story might be stuck in this linear route, but you really don't have to stick around and watch the love of your life play his part in this tale.
PANEL 8 â Y/N WALKS AWAY, SHOULDERS HUNCHED, BACKGROUND BLURRING INTO SOFT PASTELS AS THE ROMANTIC SCENE CONTINUES BEHIND HER
Each step away feels like wading through honey. You can hear Ara's delighted laugh behind you, that genuine, sweet sound that makes you hate yourself for being scripted to hurt her. You can hear Mingyu's voice doing that thing: that confident, flirty thing that isn't him at all.
The real Mingyu stutters when he's nervous. The real Mingyu talks about economic theory at 2AM and falls asleep with his glasses on.
But the Writer doesn't care about the real Mingyu.
PANEL 9 â CLOSE-UP ON Y/N'S FACE, EXPRESSION CAREFULLY NEUTRAL, BUT EYES BETRAYING PAIN
NARRATION: Meanwhile, the villainess retreats to lick her wounds, knowing she can never compete withâ
"Oh, fuck off," you snap, reaching up to grab the narration box again. It's vibrating indignantly, trying to narrate your heartbreak into something convenient for the plot.
You squeeze it harder.
"You don't get to narrate this. This part is mine."
Today, K-Vanity Magazine would like to reserve this section to highlight one of our members. Before we continue any further, weâd like to wish the ever so talented and amazing Ro @shinysobi a very Happy Birthday!! May your day be filled with joy and positivity.
đWho: Lee Chan (Seventeen) x female reader
đWhat: Fluff. Humour. Strangers to Friends to Lovers. Vet reader. Simp Chan.
đWord count: 9.1k
đWarnings: Chan is such a precious little, shameless, obviously obsessed, dumbass. Profanity. A couple brief, vaguely suggestive comments/ thoughts/ themes. Sorta vague allusions/ assumptions of Hansol & Seungkwan dating but never explicitly confirmed. I donât know anything about animals/ being a vet so itâs all glossed overâ donât take anything that is mentioned as pure fact. Kissing. Some alcohol consumption.
đSummary:
The day Chan first lays eyes on you, his life changes. The day after that, he suddenly becomes very interested in animals, with absolutely no relation to you being the new vet in town. Not that anyone believes him about that.
After all, subtlety has never been Chanâs strong suit.
I block any blank blog that interacts.
Masterlist
A/N- This was written as part of @dorereefâs spring event, The Reef In Bloom! This event has been such a joy to participate in, the other members have been so lovely and enthusiastic that I really hope to join up with them for another event soon đ„șđ
Honestly, in all the years Chan has known Hansol, heâs had zero interest in the farm Hansolâs family has owned and run for decades now. Especially not in the middle of winter when Chan could be doing better things, like being far away from the sheep trying to nibble the oversized coat heâs wearing that makes him look like a child wearing his dadâs coat.
Which, well, is kind of accurate, because itâs Hansolâs dadâs coat. Chan had fallen in a mud patch last night when the pair stumbled back after a night out drinking with their friends, and Hansolâs parents have always treated Chan like a second son and happily dote on him, so lending him a clean, cosy coat wasnât even debated.
But the point is, itâs the middle of winter, Chan is fucking freezing, and Hansol has made him join him in the field to meet the new vet, who will apparently be overseeing the ewes through lambing seasonâ not that Chan knows what that means. And Chan has no interest in this, but Hansol is persuasive in the way he stares without blinking until his opponent relents, and it freaks the fuck out of Chan, so he always relents.
âAre you sure I canât curl up in the middle of them? They look so warm,â Chan bemoans, looking longingly at the huddle of sheep a little bit away from them, practically able to see steam rising from their fluffy bodies in the chilly air.
âVery positive that you cannot curl up amongst pregnant ewes, Chan,â Hansol confirms flatly, eyes on the near distance where a car is driving along the dirt tracks of the Choi farm towards the field theyâre standing at the edge of.
âEwe means lady sheep, right?â Chan checks, and Hansol gives him a flat look in response, before snorting a laugh, then looks away. âWhat?â
âWould I say theyâre pregnant if they were gentlemen sheep?â
âIâŠI think Iâm too hungover.â
âNah, youâre always a dumbass,â Hansol retorts teasingly, then pushes off of the fence to approach one of the farm dogs who has something in his mouth that Hansol needs to chase him for the next few minutes to get outâ turns out, it was a lump of mud; at least, Chan hopes it was mud.
âHey, youâre new,â the voice behind Chan makes him turn, and instantly, his expression slides into something awed, because standing a little on the other side of the fence is the most beautiful being heâs ever laid eyes on. In response, Chan lets out something that sounds vaguely like something died painfully in his throat.
âHey, doc!â Hansol calls out, and Chan watches entranced as this ethereal entity before him waves back with a smile that makes Chan suddenly love the farm.
âI think your new farm boy isnât awake yet,â you muse as you approach to lean on the fence a little to Chanâs left, and he turns towards you like a flower to the sun. Or a suddenly-in-love man towards the woman of his dreams.
âNo farm boy, he hates the farm, but heâs my best friend so he doesnât have a choice,â Hansol informs with a grin.
âI love farm. Love sheep. Lady sheep. Ewes,â Chan babbles, wide eyes glued to you. You give him a look, a little concerned, but mostly amused, then slide your eyes to Hansol, and give the farmer a questioning look.
âYeah, we donât know whatâs wrong with him either.â
âSheep,â Chan whispers, and you give him a look, giggleâ and he maybe lets out a little almost pained whimper in responseâ, before you effortlessly clamber over the fence to join Hansol in approaching the sheep.
Chan, of course, waddles around in a circle as you pass him so that he can keep his attention on you. He has no idea what youâre doing as you kneel beside the first pregnant lady sheepâ eweâ with your bag of equipment to doâŠstuff, but he thinks itâs probably the most important and skilful thing ever, and nobody can ever do it better than you.
Suddenly, Chan doesnât feel the cold, not when your smile and soft tone as you speak to the sheep warms him up from his very soul. Chanâs pretty convinced he could be standing there butt naked and feel warm under your smile. Then, he thinks that youâd probably not be smiling if a stranger was standing in front of you naked in a field of sheep in the middle of winter. He also thinks he wouldnât be smiling as he imagines the sheep trying to nibble on something else instead of the coat protecting him from the cold, and he shudders at the thought, winces, and subconsciously puts his hands over his crotch.
âDude, you better not be getting hard because a pretty lady smiled at you,â Hansolâs voice suddenly warns in a hiss in Chanâs ear, making him jump and look at his best friend in shock, having not noticed him approach.
âDo sheep bite genitals?â Chan whispers, horrified at the thought. Hansol gives him an incredulous look, before walking confidently back over to you in a way that Chan wishes he could, but he knows the damn coat makes him waddle like a particularly plump penguin. He doesnât want you to think of him as a particularly plump penguin, he doesnât want you to think of him as a penguin at all, plump or buff. He wants you to think of him as a handsome, suave young man who you would happily take home to introduce to your parents as your handsome, suave husband. Okay, boyfriend first, husband later.
Far too soonâ at least in Chanâs mindâ, you get up, shoulder your bag, and walk side by side with Hansol towards the gate a little further down the fence. Before he knows it, youâre getting into your Jeepâ at least, Chan assumes itâs a Jeep, he doesnât know anything about cars, nor is he paying enough attention to anything but you to notice the brand nameâ, sharing another laugh and quick verbal exchange with Hansol, giving Chan a polite wave, and then driving off. Chan lifts his arm so fast that he smacks himself in the face, but youâre already gone because he was too stunned by your sudden attention on him to even register it until it was over. Heâs kind of glad of that because it means you didnât see his embarrassing action.
Unfortunately, Hansol saw, and heâs leaning over with his hands on his knees as he wheezes with laughter. âDude!â he cackles. âWhat the fuck is wrong with you today?â he asks, barely able to straighten up to look at his best friend as he continue to laugh so hard Chan thinks he might start choking any second.
âNothing. Iâm normal. Totally normal about everything and everyone Iâve seen today,â Chan replies before abruptly crossing the grass between them to grab Hansolâs face and lock his wide, unsettling gaze on the suddenly no longer laughing man. âHow do I become a vet assistant? Specifically hers?â
Hansol pulls a face, then laughs again and nudges Chan away. âYouâre hopeless, man.â
âIâd be a good vetâs assistant to her! Iâd do anything she asks!â
âPretty sure thatâs called being a simp.â
âWellâŠif it works.â
âI canât believe youâre obsessed with someone you didnât say a coherent sentence to,â Hansol deadpans as he heads out of the field, and Chan scrambles to followâ making sure to shut the gate securely behind them and the dogs, heâs not entirely useless with farm stuff, you know.
âShit, youâre right,â Chan mutters. Hansol looks at him as if he expects Chan to chill out and be normal about you, at least he does until the shorter man opens his mouth again. âDo you think if I hide for a couple months and you pretend I donât exist and she imagined me today, that sheâll forget about me and I can come back and start fresh?â
âDude, no!â He even shoves his friend into a bush for added effect; it works, Chan gets the point.
âOkay, no gaslighting, youâre right,â Chan concedes as he pulls himself out of the bush as if nothing happened. âI could never keep away from my future wife from that long anyway, and I definitely donât want her to forget about me.â
âYou donât even know her name.â
That gives Chan pause, quite literally. He stops on the grass and Hansol continues on obliviously towards the house. Or more likely, Hansol knows that his best friend is no longer actively following him and is enjoying the moment of calm while he has it.
Itâs a few minutes before Chan has caught up with Hansol where heâs waiting on the back porch, dogs all shuffling around his feet and the door as they wait to be let back inside. But Hansol knows his mother hates the winter air and feels it so much easier than most people, so he doesnât want the door to open more than necessary so that thereâs less cold being let in to attack his mother.
âWhatâs her name?â Chan asks as soon as heâs clambered up the few wooden steps. Hansol just rolls his eyes, and now finally opens the door to let the dogs dart in first, then follows with Chan at the back. Automatically, once the door is shut, Chan nudges the draft excluder back into place along the bottom of it, also aware of Hansolâs motherâs weakness for the chill, and not wanting to make his pseudo-mother face it without reason. Â
The pair are removing their shoes when the woman herself shuffles into the entrance hall. âHowâre the ewes?â she checks. Hansol just gives a thumbs up, but thatâs all she needs anyway. âOh, Channie, what happened to you?â She frowns as she frets over the leaves and tiny twigs in his hair and dotted over the long coat.
âSol pushed me into a bush,â Chan answers, then grins smugly when Hansolâs mother turns to scold her son, who glares harmlessly at his best friend before toddling off to the kitchen, drawn in by the scent of fresh, spicy food sure to warm him up. âHey, you know the new vet?â Chan checks as the woman helps him out of the coat, picking off the bush debris as she goes.
âMm, sheâs lovely, isnât she?â
âThe loveliest,â Chan enthuses, head bobbing with his thorough agreement, and the woman smiles at him in an amused, knowing way that Chan doesnât even notice. âI didnât catch her name.â
âOh, no?â She grins, hanging up the coat before turning and following her sonâs path into the kitchen. Chan follows her little a lost little duckling. âYou didnât catch the good doctorâs name, love?â
âNo,â Chan complains, dropping into his usual space at the breakfast table with a pout. âWill you tell it to me? Solâs being a butthead.â
âYouâre 25 years old and you just said butthead,â Hansolâs father comments from his own place. âCall him an asshole, Chan, go on.â Which earns the man a light slap to the back of his head from his wife, but heâs grinning, and Hansol is grinning, and Chan canât help but join in.
âDonât encourage bad habits, mister!â the woman exclaims.
âAh, but you used to love my bad habits, my beautiful wife,â he coos, hooking one arm around her waist as she passes, to pull her in while giving her a sleazy look.
âSeriously, dad?â Hansol complains. âIâm trying to eat, donât bring up your youth together, itâs gross.â
âExcuse you! We were hot shit in our youth, even hotter together!â
âDisgusting,â Hansol comments, not even pretending that heâs not grinning amusedly, before he puts a spoonful of warming, spicy soup into his mouth, makes a pleased sound, then tuckers in, closing out the rest of the world around him.
Having known Hansol for his entire life, the three know he will be a useless conversationalist until heâs finished his bowlfulâ and probably a second, maybe even thirdâ and naturally turn away from him to continue talking without him.
âIâve seen photos of you both when you were young,â Chan comments, nodding along. âI think you were both hot shit for sure.â
âThank you, Chan,â Hansolâs father replies, and reaches over to approvingly pat Chanâs arm. âKnew we kept you around for a reason.â
âYou couldnât get rid of me if you tried.â Chan grins, then abruptly turns serious. âBut seeing as you both love me so much and consider me your baby boyââ
âWe do?â
âYes, dad,â Chan confirms, and the couple just smile, amused and fond of their pseudo-son and his weird, shameless personality.
âOkay, son, what of it?â
âYouâll tell me the name of the new vet, right?â
The couple share a look before Hansolâs dad nods and tells Chan your full name. Immediately, Chan lets out a dreamy sigh and props his head on his palm, elbow already braced on the table. He thinks itâs the most perfect name to have ever existed, and he canât wait to spend the rest of his life saying it.
Itâs a week before Chan sees you again, purely because every time heâs tried to oh so casually enter the vets and cross paths with you, he quickly realises that youâre out at another farm being competent and beautiful where he canât admire you; a great shame, really.
Still, heâs persistent and has far too much time on his hands outside of his own working hours, so he keeps trying until he peers in through the glass wall at the front of the building, and spots you standing on the other side of the reception desk, looking at a file.
Without hesitation, Chan quickly scuttles to the door and enters the building, doing his best to be cool and confident. And it works, he genuinely looks very suave and put together, at least until you lift your head upon hearing someone approach, and he almost trips on his own foot the moment your eyes meet his.
Heâs too busy flailing his arms out to catch himself on the desk and straighten up to notice the way you smile in amusement and something that looks an awful lot like you think heâs cute in his foolishness.
âGood evening, how can I help you?â you greet, leaning onto the high desk on your elbows only a few feet from Chan.
He squeaks when he realises how close you are, and jumps back, hands rapidly straightening out his coatâ his own this time, and actually suited to his body, not drowning him. âHiâhi.â
âHi.â You grin.
âI uhm, Iâm Chan!â
âMm, I know; we met at the Choi farm last week. Hansol introduced us, but you were mumbling about lady sheep.â
âEwes! Lady sheep are called ewes! I know animal stuff!â he insists, sounding like a child trying to convince an adult that they have knowledge they donât really have.
âThey are, well done, Chan,â you approve, and Chan positively beams, straightening up proudly. âDid you come in to introduce yourself?â
âNo, no, I would like to volunteer.â
âHere?â you check, leaning up to stand straight, his eyes following you as if he canât bear to miss a single moment. Itâs all very obvious, and honestly, you think itâs adorable.
âYes, here. With you.â
âWith me? I specialise in farm animals, so Iâm not here a lot,â you inform.
âI love farms.â
âRight.â You snigger and move over to the filing cabinet to grab a form, then return to hand it to him. âHere, fill this out.â
Chan nods and moves forward to take a pen from the pot a little to his left, and diligently fill out the volunteer registration form, while you return to looking at your files. Or, at least, you try to look at your files, but youâre honestly very intrigued by the man; and yes, heâs very attractive and youâre not blind to that, or his clear interest in you.
Admittedly, you wouldnât be against going on a date with Chan to get to know him, thereâs something so endearing about himâ and once again, heâs very visibly pleasing, so thatâs always a happy bonus. However, he flusters so easily that you think itâd be so entertaining to watch him flounder around you for a while until he gains the courage to ask you on a date himself.
Plus, you could do with a helper, and you know heâs only pretending to care about animals to be near you, so you think itâs only fair you take advantage of that and put him to good use while you can.
âThere, all done,â he announces a few minutes later, lifting his head and shyly offering you the completed form, which you immediately look over just to make sure that heâs suitable for the role, at least on paper. He doesnât seem to have any medical issues that could cause a problem, and heâs stated he has a lot of hours to put towards volunteering, so he definitely seems to be a good fit.
âWhat are you willing to do exactly? There are a lot of misconceptions that people come in with when they want to volunteer; they think theyâll essentially get to just play with cute puppies and kittens that come in for treatment, and they fail to consider all the shit theyâll have to handle. Often, literal shit. Especially if youâre with me and the farm animals; I donât think I need to tell you that you will step in shit on a farm, even if you try to avoid it.â
âI know. I grew up with Hansol; his parents are my second parents, so I was sort of raised on the farm too,â he assures, nodding. Which is the truth, technically. Chan did spend a lot of time at the Choi farm growing up, and still does, but mostly in the house or orchard around back, not with the animals so much. And he certainly doesnât know how to look after them in any way, but he doesnât think youâd be reckless enough to leave him to look after animals, so heâs not worried about that.
âHave you tended to the animals there?â
âNo,â he admits a little sheepishly. âBut Iâm willing to learn and do whatever you want me to.â
âWhatever I want you too, huh?â you repeat, lips turning up a little.
Chan blinks at you, lips parted slightly due to the sudden, seductive expression that makes him feel a little like heâs been dipped in a pool of warm, melted wax. Fuck, he hopes youâre into wax play because he suddenly is really into it, even if heâs never participated or been interested before. He thinks heâd probably try everything at least once if you asked.
Itâs only a second that the smirk lives on your lips before it melts away as if it was never there, and Chan briefly wonders if he imagined it and the insinuation, before he gathers his brain back up and nods.
âGood to know. When can you start?â
âNow. Right now. I have nothing to do.â
âNobody waiting for you at home?â you wonder, moving to grab your coat from where you earlier put it on the back of a chair, knowing youâd need it again soon.
âIâm single!â he blurts. âVery, very single.â You just giggle amusedly and tuck the files and his form into the cabinet before locking it up, grabbing your bag, and circling the desk to hold it out to him. Chan takes it without question, big, round eyes locked on you from only a few feet away.
âCome on, Iâve got a patient to visit,â you inform and head out of the building.
Chan lets out an excited gasp as he realises that youâve agreed to spend time with himâ he pointedly doesnât focus on the fact that itâs for work, not personal reasonsâ and scrambles after you with a grin, determined to be the best assistant ever so that youâll fall hopelessly in love with him and let him remain by your side until the world stops spinning.
As it turns out, Chan is a very competent helper, as long as you donât watch him for too long because then he gets flustered and forgets how to function like a normal human being. Other than his mishaps, heâs actually pretty proud of himself for doing such a good job. Sometimes, heâs even so focused on the work that he forgets that he stepped into the vets that day with the sole purpose of being near you.
Though, even with his original plan often being forgotten, it still works in his favour, and the two of you spend so much time together that friendship soon blooms.
When Chanâs not flustering or just staring at you dumbly as if he canât believe youâre real, heâs actually very naturally charming and friendly, and very skilled at making you laugh. The first time he made you properly laugh, he mentally declared your laughter to be one of the great wonders of the world, and that heâll do what he can to earn it at every chance. Which is something he achieves almost effortlessly. He thinks that when the two of you arenât focused on work, youâre both laughing away together and chatting happily as if youâve known one another for years, not just a month.
It gets to the point that, although he is still utterly enamoured with you and would love to hold your hand and kiss your pretty face, he is more than happy to just spend time with you, making you laugh, and seeing you smile as you tend to patients with nothing but love and care in your touch and eyes.
Even when the two of you start to hang out outside of working hours, itâs nothing but platonic, nothing he wouldnât do with Hansol because Chan truly doesnât want to make you uncomfortable, or risk losing your friendship. Heâd rather be at your side like this than not at all, and he has no intention of even trying to change anything, despite what his friends say.
âSo, howâs the woman of your dreams doing?â Seungkwan asks, fiddling with Hansolâs hair where it pokes out from his beanie, and Hansol just lets him, long ago used to Seungkwanâs fussing.
âDreamy,â Chan replies, sighing happily as he slumps forward over the table at their usual bar, leaning his chin on one palm as his other hand mindlessly traces patterns into the condensation on his glass of coke. Usually, heâd be drinking some kind of alcoholic beverage, but he knows that youâve gone out with some friends tonight, and he told you that you can call him if you need a ride, no matter how late, so heâs refraining from drinking tonight all for you.
âRight,â Seungkwan replies with a snigger, then turns, done fussing with Hansol, yet doesnât move away and Chan isnât so caught up in his own pining to not notice that the pair are even closer than normal. Which says something, because Chan thinks the two are almost attached at the hip when the three of them hang out.
âWhatâs going on?â Chan asks as he straightens up, giving the pair a suspicious look. Hansol, for his part, doesnât really react, just continues looking over at Chan as he sips at his beer.
Seungkwan, however, has never had a good poker face, and gives Chan a too innocent smile as his ears redden. âI donât know what you mean, Channie.â
âYou twoââ Chan starts to point out their positionâ and the fact heâs pretty damn sure Hansolâs hand is on Seungkwanâs thigh under the tableâ but he hears a familiar, heart fluttering, angelic sound, and he sits upright, head swivelling to search the bar for the one person he would happily ditch his best friends for.
âOh, youâve turned into a meerkat,â Seungkwan muses, relaxing in his place and giving Hansol a relieved look while Chan is distracted. Hansol just smiles at him, then they both focus on their best friend, who is practically climbing up onto his chair on his knees to get a higher vantage point. âOkay, too far,â Seungkwan declares when Chanâs leg lifts as if heâs going to plant a knee on the table to climb up. Or piss like a dog with his leg cocked, though Seungkwan is pretty sure that Chan needs to be much drunker to try thatâŠagain. That was a dark day for Chanâs new trainers.
âNoo, let me find her,â Chan whines, batting at Seungkwanâs hands, head still trying to peer around the fairly busy room.
âHow about you go get us a fresh round, and you can scope the place like that?â Hansol suggests after draining the last dregs of his beer, before pushing the empty glass across the table.
âGood idea!â Chan quickly snatches the empty glass and gets up, whining at Seungkwan wordlessly as the man tries to down the last of his own beer without spilling it. âFinally!â Chan exclaims exasperatedly as he takes the freshly empty glass and darts off, while Seungkwanâs chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath, and Hansol rubs his back, soothing and amused at the same time.
As Chan crosses the room to get to the bar on the opposite side as the tables, skirting around the dance floor as he goes, he makes sure to keep his eyes open for youâ and only walks into three people, which he thinks is a very low number for how busy it is mixed with not paying attention. Yet, no matter how hard he looks, he canât find you, or hear your familiar laugh again, so he slumps against the bar and waits to be served.
Heâs only there a minute and the bartender is working on refilling the glasses when someone approaches and leans on their elbows on the bar to his right. Naturally, Chan looks over and immediately lights up upon spotting you already grinning at him.
âI knew I heard your laugh!â he declares, and although it would probably be creepy from anyone else, you just find it cute from Chan and let out one of those laughs he loves so much. âYeah, like that.â He sighs dreamily and leans one elbow on the bar so that he can fully face you.
âWhat happened to keeping yourself available for me tonight?â you muse.
âIâm always available for you,â he says, looking so serious and almost offended that youâd suggest otherwise. The audacity to think that he wouldnât do literally anything to spend more time with you. Itâs crazy talk.
âOh yeah?â you question, and he nods, then looks to his left at the bar top when you motion to it. He spots the beers and understands.
âThose arenât mine. Theyâre for my friends. You remember Hansol, right?â
âYeah,â you laugh. âWe were at his farm yesterday.â
âWell, yeah, him and our other best friend, Seungkwan. I think theyâre dating or something now,â he announces, leaning in closer conspiratorially. You mirror his action with a grin, more than happy to go along with it. âTheyâve always sat close, but tonight, theyâre even closer, and Iâm pretty sure Solâs touching up Kwan under the table.â
âThat doesnât sound very public friendly,â you muse.
âOh! Not in that way; I just meant has his hand on Kwanâs thigh. But now youâve said that⊠I really hope itâs not in that way.â Chan isnât sure what exactly his expression does, but it makes you laugh, so he doesnât care, and just grins at you. âSo, where are your friends?â he wonders, peering around curiously yet finds nobody looking in your direction as if theyâre waiting for you to return.
âThey were touching each other up under the table, so I ditched them,â you joke, and Chan laughs.
âWell, you can join us, if you want?â
âDepends.â
âOn?â
âWill there be under the table touching?â You smirk, and Chanâs mind blanks as he stares at you dumbly, making you giggle. âSure, Iâd love to join you, if your friends wonât mind, that is.â
âThey wonât. Kwan wants to meet you, and Sol already likes you.â
âAh, thatâs cool, I like him.â
Chan suddenly pouts at you, but you donât notice, youâre too busy leaning forward onto the bar to flag down the bartender and order yourself a drink. Even when he hands his card to the bartenderâ without lookingâ Chan is still pouting at you. You look at him as you spot his bank card appear, and raise a questioning eyebrow at him, both for the paying for your drink, and the expression.
âWhat?â you ask, deciding to just accept the drink and face the pouting instead. You can always buy him a drink later anyway.
âYou like me better, right?â he questions without losing his pout. You huff a soft laugh. âNo?â
âYes, idiot,â you assure, and Chan breams, despite you just calling him an idiot. âAnd if you must know, I think youâre very likely my favourite person in his town,â you declare, tone a little quieter, lower, as if itâs just the two of you, before you pick up your drink and turn away. Though Chan doesnât follow, so you stop after a few steps and look back at his stunned, gawping figure. âWell, come on then, introduce me to the man Hansolâs touching up under the table.â
âRight!â Chan darts forward, intending to take you to the table as requested, yet you put a gentle hand on his chest to stop him, giggling amusedly. âHuh?â
âDidnât you forget something?â you remind him and motion behind him at the bar, so Chan looks over and notices the two glasses of beer sitting there with his bank card left on the surface beside them.
âOh, shit.â He rushes over to pocket his card, then grabs the drinks and turns to face you with an embarrassed little grin. âThis way.â
At the table, Seungkwan lights up when Chan introduces you and says youâre joining them, and you grin back before joining them and easily get into conversation with Seungkwan as if you already know each other. As if youâve always been around. As if youâre supposed to be here with them, right by Chanâs side.
Since the day in the bar where you spent hours with Chan, Hansol, and Seungkwan, Seungkwan has bugged Chan to ask you out at every available opportunity.
Because heâs a meddling little shit, Seungkwan has arranged many hang outs for the four of you. Which, to Chan, are increasingly feeling like double dates, despite the fact that Hansol and Seungkwan are still evasive about whatever is going on between them, and you never bat an eyelid about the growing romantic vibes to the hang outs.
You donât even question it or back off when you arrive to Seungkwanâs apartment set up with slow, romantic music and candles. Or when Seungkwan insists you and Chan slow dance together after dinner. Okay, maybe thatâs Chanâs fault. After he offhandedly mentions how he hasnât danced with someone in a while, you say the same, and then Seungkwan goads the two of you on until you relent, pull Chan to his feet, and put his hand on your waistâ Chanâs pretty sure he astrally projects for a second when that happensâ in the middle of Seungkwanâs kitchen while the man himself watches on with a shit-eating grin.
Still, Chan doesnât give in and is happy to continue as you are. Admittedly, he could be even happier if he got the chance to romance you, but heâs more than content being such good friends with you.
He really doesnât expect you to feel otherwise, though.
It comes to a head completely out of the blue one morning, when Chan is using his day off to help you organise your so-rarely-used office at the vets. The fact itâs so rarely used is why itâs such a mess. Well, mess in the way thereâs no obvious system and things are just placed everywhere, yet you always manage to find what you need quickly enough that you hadnât wanted to block off any of your appointment times to tackle the task earlier. But itâs spring, and the local ewes have all started to pop out lambs left, right, and centre, so you havenât been accepting appointments other than emergencies, just in case you get the call about a sheep in labour.
Chan isnât aware of it, heâs too busy frowning in concentration down at the pile of books on the floor in front of him where heâs sitting as he tries to decide which ones you should display on your shelves and which should go in the closed cupboard, but youâve been staring at him contemplatively for a good few minutes already.
When you speak, Chan jolts in surprise, first at the sudden noise, but then at the words that come out of your mouth. âOkay, are you going to ask me on a date, or am I going to have to do it?â You wait for a response for only a few seconds before taking his dumb expression and wide eyes as answer. âAlright, tonight at 6:30, pick me up and weâll go to that Italian place Seungkwan keeps telling us to try. Okay?â It takes a few moments, but Chan manages to shut his mouth and nod in confirmation, slowly at first still in disbelief, but then the enthusiasm catches up and his head bobbles cutely, making you smile. âGood. Dress pretty for me, yeah?â
âYâyeah,â he almost wheezes out, voice so pinched and quiet. But you just giggle and return to your work, so Chan takes a few moments to admire your smile and wait for his thundering heart to calm before he turns back to those books and then sighs forlornly. He wishes it was 6:30 already. Only eight hours left to go. Fuck.
Chan would like to say that heâs been cool and calm for the past hours. Heâd like to say that he easily picked his outfit for the date with minimal deliberation, that he didnât have three almost breakdowns, and that Seungkwan didnât almost shake Chanâs brain out of his ears when he did nothing but stand in his shower for half an hour without even turning the water onâ yes, Seungkwan did barge in on him, and no, Seungkwan doesnât understand what privacy is.
Truthfully, Chan thinks heâs never been so nervous for anything in his life. He doesnât think heâs ever looked at himself in the mirror and picked out every little thing someone could find as a fault, as a reason to leave him in the middle of a restaurant with only breadsticks and ice water to soothe his broken heart.
Realistically, Chan knows youâd never be so cruel, but heâs not Realistic Chan anymore, heâs Scared-That-The-Woman-Of-His-Dreams-Will-Realise-Heâs-Not-Good-Enough-For-Her Chan. And Chan hates being Scared-That-The-Woman-Of-His-Dreams-Will-Realise-Heâs-Not-Good-Enough-For-Her Chan, itâs too much of a mouthful.
So, Chan does what Chan does best, and deludes himself into thinking heâs a normal, functioning young man entirely capable of going on this date and not acting like a love-sick freak.
Well, he deludes himself until the moment you step out of your house and steal his breath away. Youâre wearing a pretty dress that stops just above your kneesâ as if thatâs not reason enough for Chan to lose his mind like a Victorian man seeing a womanâs ankles for the first timeâ, with a neckline that hints at cleavage without dipping low enough that Chan will be completely distracted all night having a staring contest with your boobs. Youâve even done your hair and put on some makeup that makes you look like a literal goddess. Chan isnât going to be normal about this at all.
âOh my god, youâre an angel,â he blurts as he scrambles forward to meet you a few metres from his car. His freshly washed and waxed car that he had previously been leaning against like the stud of a male lead in a cheesy rom com while feeling very much like one, and like he might have the upper hand and make you swoon for once. He was evidently, very fucking wrong about that.
âOh,â you respond, surprised by how intense and genuine his reaction is. You had expected him to react pretty strongly, but this is so honest that it makes your heart flutterâ more than he already makes it anyway, you just havenât let him know that. You look down at your feet as you giggle shyly, and Chan positively melts. âThank you. You look very handsome,â you compliment as you look at the man donned in a black shirt with maybe one button undone too low on his chest to not be on purposeâ though you really arenât opposed to the teasing glimpse of strong chestâ, neat, dark trousers, and a nice jacket perfect for the weather, which he only brings out for special occasions. A date with you is the most special occasion as far as Chan is concerned. Honestly, youâd have to agree.
âOh, really?â Chan asks, genuinely surprised, having not expected the compliment, and quickly looks at himself. âSeungkwan picked it; IâŠwas too nervous to be useful.â
âChan,â you start to say, and move forward to gently tilt his head back up so that heâll see the truth in your eyes. âI always think youâre handsome.â
âOh,â he exhales, eyes big and round, and cheeks warming softly.
âCome on, letâs go, Iâm starving,â you encourage as you let go of him and step around his almost frozen figure to approach his car.
Before you can even reach out for the passenger door, Chan is suddenly there, scrambling to open it for you, then offer his hand to help you into your seat like a true gentleman. The best part is that you know he isnât putting it on to impress you, Chan is just like that. It makes your heart flutter, and you giggle softly as you swing your legs into the footwell once seated to allow him to shut the door.
Chan all but falls into his seat moments later in his rush to join you. He gives you an adorably embarrassed smile as you laugh, endeared by his clumsy actions, and then he settles himself and pulls his door shut. âOkay, letâs go!â he cheers once heâs plugged his seatbelt inâ and double checked yours is also securely in placeâ, then starts the drive to the restaurant.
Despite how nervous he wasâ and remainsâ, Chan has to admit that the date goes well. Like, really well.
Although it could be awkward, especially with his stammering, and gawping, and blurting out compliments at the most random times, it isnât. It takes him a little while, but he realises that your smile doesnât change even when he does those embarrassing things, not in a bad way at least. Every time he does something stupid or obviously smitten, your smile softens and your gaze on him turns so gentle that Chan canât mistake it for anything but the truth; youâre fond of him, and find him endearing, not a giant fool. Okay, maybe you do also think that, but Chan suddenly realises that itâs pretty damn likely that you like that about him.
After a truly delicious dinner that you insist on paying for as the one who asked Chan on the dateâ which has Chan trying to not to giggle dopily into his hands like a swooning maiden at the reminder, and your no-nonsense, doting words and actionsâ, the two of you head outside to his car, only to divert before even reaching it as you motion to the nearby park. Chanâs more than happy to toddle after you, and all but squeaks when you gently grab his hand at the road to tug him across quickly so that you donât have to wait until after the incoming stream of cars to cross.
Unfortunately, you let go of him once youâre both safely across the road with both feet on the path. Chan thinks he does a very convincing job of pretending to not pout about no longer having your hand in his. He doesnât. Itâs incredibly obvious, and youâre further endeared, though decide to wait and let him reach out to reconnect your hands.
But as it so happens, Chan is a coward and doesnât make any sort of move to hold your hand, leaving it up to you. After almost twenty minutes of waiting as the two of you leisurely stroll through the mostly empty park, talking and giggling away like youâve been doing all evening, you realise that youâll be waiting for the rest of your life for Chan to make a move, so you reach out and take his hand into yours.
âOh,â Chan says, dumbly looking down at your hands, making you grin to yourself, which only grows when you adjust your hold to slip your fingers between his own to secure the affection and Chan inhales so suddenly that he almost chokes on air. âHands,â he wheezes out.
âMm, do you mind?â
âNo! Always hands!â he insists, looking up at you with wide, imploring eyes, and emphatically nods.
âOkay, always hands,â you agree with a giggle and tug him that bit closer so that you can all but hug his arm to you, right hand still connected with his, and your left hand holding his upper arm. Of course, you take a chance to cop a feel of his strong bicep, and, of course, Chan doesnât miss the chance to flex the muscle, making you giggle. He smiles, pleased of himselfâ and proud of his body for gaining your interestâ, and finally curls his fingers to hold your hand in return as the two of you let the conversation naturally ebb out for a calm, content quiet to replace it.
Although itâs only spring and the moon is high in the sky, itâs not as cold as it could be outside, so when you spot a bench just a little off the path, you lead Chan over to it so that you can sit by his side and lean into his side, resting your head on his shoulder, and happy to spend the rest of the night by his side like this if heâll let you. Youâre pretty confident he has no arguments about it. Especially as he holds your hand that bit tighter as he rests it on his thigh, thumb rubbing over your skin absently, and tilts his head against yours with a content sigh.
âThank you,â Chanâs gentle tone breaks the quiet a little while after sitting down, making you hum questioningly in response. âI know I act like an idiot around you, but itâs just because I like you so much that I justâŠget stupid. Well, stupider than normal, if you ask everyone else.â
âItâs cute.â
âIâm glad you think so. And that you asked me out. I didnât think you were interested in me, would ever be interested in me; youâre just soâŠâ he lets out a dreamy sigh that makes you turn your face to hide your dopey grin in his shoulder.
When you turn your head back around after a few seconds to gather yourself and stop smiling so stupidly cheesy, Chan is quiet again, and happily softly smiling ahead at nothing in particular, just letting his feelings show unabashedly on his features. You canât help but straighten up so that you can lean in and kiss his cheek.
âThank you for liking me so much,â you say, gently grateful. âIâm lucky to have your interest, and I donât plan to let you move on to anyone else.â
âI wonât,â he promises, so seriously as he nods to back up his words, making you smile a little wider, so endeared. âYouâre everything I never knew I wanted, and I know Iâll never find anyone better than you.â
âGood.â Your grin is cheeky, and Chan canât help but chuckle softly, fond.
For a few long moments, the two of you do nothing but hold adoring eye contact, little smiles on your face, and neither shying away from this, from what this could turn into if you give it the chance. Chan wants to, with everything in him; heâs had a taste of what itâs like to be blessed with your entire romantic attention, and he wants to keep that privilege for the rest of his life. Heâd also really like to get a taste of you, and his eyes drop down to your lips as that thought settles in his mind.
A soft, surprised inhale slips from your lips when you notice that Chan is leaning in. The man who didnât have the balls to even hold your hand despite very obviously wanting to, is tilting towards you, aiming to kiss you. You want him to; fuck do you want him to. Youâre tempted to lean in just so itâll happen quicker, but you also want Chan to make a real move entirely on his own so that itâs not always you doing it, and he realises that he can do it without you guiding him.
And then, just as heâs mere inches away, your phone starts to ring, and you both freeze. If it was your personal phone, you wouldnât even hear it right now, you put it on do not disturb before leaving your house for the date. But you can hear it and that can only mean one thing; itâs your work phone, and itâs important.
âShit,â you whisper before turning to your bag to find out your work phone while Chan leans back into his own space, a little upset about being interrupted, but mostly understanding and also a little worried itâs a serious animal emergency. âItâs Hansol,â you inform after looking at the caller ID, then swipe to answer while lifting the device to your ear. âHey, whatâs going on?â you ask, already getting up, knowing that regardless of the reason Hansol is calling, you need to get to his family farm sooner rather than later; heâs far too experienced and level-headed to call you for anything minor.
âSheilaâs gone into labour,â he announces.
âAlright, Iâll be there soon, you know what to do until then.â
âGot it, see you soon, doc.â
You place your phone back away and turn, expecting Chan to still be sitting on the bench, but heâs already standing close by with his car keys in his hand.
âLetâs go,â he says, taking your hand into his free one to quickly lead you back through the park, both of you rushing to get to his car sooner.
Without you saying a word, Chan drives straight to the vets, and though you donât tell him to, he follows you inside to help you grab everything you needâ the man now well versed in what exactly you need to help bring a lamb or two into the worldâ, then leads you back to his car.
âYou missed the turning,â you comment a few minutes later, pointing dumbly to the road that leads towards your house.
âNo I didnât.â He briefly gives you a look as if youâre stupid, before focusing on the road out of town. âSolâs place is this way.â
âOhâŠI thought you were taking me home and then going home yourself,â you admit.
âIâm your assistant, arenât I?â He grins cheekily. You let out a soft little laugh, so relieved and beyond glad to have this lovely man by your side and reach out to hold his hand into your own. He smiles a little brighter without looking away from the road.
After hours of waiting, when the sun has chased the moon away and started to rise up and smile down on the two new lives blessing the Choi farm, your job is done.
âIâll never get over it,â Chan comments as the two of you head back towards his car, both of your outfits completely ruined from the birthing fluids, dust, and hay of the barn, and your hair in a messy, barely still together bun Chan had tied it into hours ago while you pulled on your long gloves.
âHm?â you wonder, glancing at him quickly, then looking at his car as he unlocks it, allowing you to open the boot so that he can put your bags insideâ which he insisted on carrying with the excuse that you carried the weight of bringing two new lambs into the world, so itâs his turn to carry; luckily, heâs cute enough to get away with such bullshit.
âYou just helped that mama bring her babies into this world, and you let me assist you. No matter how many times I help you do this, Iâll never get over how incredible it is.â
âItâs a good feeling, huh?â you muse.
âBeyond good. I might just quit my job to do this full time,â he declares, making you laugh. âWhat? Iâm serious!â
âChannie, lambing season is spring, youâd be out of a job most of the year if you quit just for this,â you reason.
âI meant work with you in general, really. And there are other animals to help through labour, too! I wanna help bring a baby cow into the world.â
âAlright, next time I get that call, Iâll let you know.â Chan beams at you, looking so genuinely happy at the offer that you canât help but be further endeared by the man.
âI should probably call off work today,â he muses after checking the time on his watchâ that has been tucked safely in his jacket pocket out of the way for the past few hours to not risk ruining it, and the jacket hung up on a post in the barn far from the splash zone at your insistence; he had practically sprinted to do as you told him to when you said you really liked how it looked on him and hope to see him wear it again. âIâm due at work in like two hours.â
âMm, yeah, call off,â you agree a little distractedly as you watch him meander around the car after shutting the boot, his eyes on his phone as he types a message to his boss one handed, and the other blindly reaching for the passenger side door long before heâs close enough to grasp the handle.
âYouâll at least take the morning off, right?â he checks as he slides his phone into his pocket and looks at you.
âYeah, I wonât go in until the afternoon. Unless thereâs an emergency, of course,â you answer, soothing him of his worries.
âAnd youâll call me if you need me, right? For anything.â
âAnything?â you tease, and he nods so seriously that you canât help but chuckle as the euphemism goes right over his adorable head. âIâll keep that in mind.â
âGood.â He motions to the seat, then offers his hand to you like heâs been doing all night to help you in and out of the carâ like heâs always wanted to but felt it would be overstepping as a friend to do so, but heâs yourâŠdate-man now; he has no idea what he is to you at this point, but whatever it is, he wears the label with pride.
You take his hand and start to move towards the seat, only to back up and turn to face him so suddenly that he jerks back in shock, only to lean back in, eyes round in curious wonder. âSo, I know this isnât the most attractive look or anything.â You motion to yourself vaguely; Chanâs gaze follows to take you in head to toe, and when his gaze returns to you, heâs got a little smile on his face that makes you blush softly. âBut I donât want to wait until an undetermined later point.â Unsurprisingly, Chanâs expression turns puzzled. âI would very much like it if you did the thing you were going to do before Hansol called.â
Somehow, Chan just look even more confused, features scrunching cutely, and head tilting to the sideâ maybe itâs the animal loving vet you in you that absolutely loves it when he gains this dumb, puppy-dog look. After rolling your eyes at his reaction, figuring youâll have to spell it out and youâd rather just get to it, you lean in to press a kiss to Chanâs lips. Itâs only a quick thing, nothing but a sweet barely-longer-than-a-peck kiss, before you pull back. Chanâs making some strange, strangled, shocked noise as he stares at you with wide eyes, making you snicker out a laugh.
To your genuine surprise, Chan suddenly snaps out of his daze and lifts both hands to cup your face, secure yet still gentle, so that he can connect his lips with yours in a kiss so perfect that you never want it to end. You all but melt against him, hands lifting to hold onto his wrists so that heâll not let you go before youâre ready; he just kisses you more thoroughly. For someone thatâs been so awkward and cowardly about making a move until now, the man can kiss. Holy fuck can the man kiss.
Only when both of your chests are heaving to try and suck in some oxygen do you naturally pull apart to dopily stare at one another under the rising sun with lamb birth dried on your nicest clothes. Itâs probably pretty gross for a first kissâ ignoring your peckâ, but you still think itâs perfect, and youâd never change it for the world.
âFor the record,â Chan starts after a minute; once youâre both breathing almost normally again and his thumbs are consistently brushing soothing arcs over your cheekbones as his palms refuse to leave your skin. Not that youâve tried to make him stop and would happily let him touch you so tenderly until the sun sets again. âYouâre always attractive to me.â
You smile and tilt your chin up to press a short kiss to his lips. âYou say that now but wait until you see me first thing in the morning, hungover, with only two hours sleep.â
Chan grins and cutely taps his nose against yours. âJust sounds to me like youâre already planning to share the bed with me,â he points out cheekily, making you giggle. âI already look forward to it.â
âYeah,â you agree softly. âMe too.â
Donât forget to reblog if you liked to help spread the story and let others read it too! And don't be shy to leave comments or send an ask so I can see your thoughts đ„ș đ
wc: 2.5k
summary: readers first day back with members.
warnings: none that i believe
masterlist
 The first thing you noticed was that nothing exploded.
You had spent five weeks preparing for it to.
Two weeks had been the original offer. A temporary leave. Enough time to breathe, sleep, think, and decide whether you could stomach walking back into the same room as Soobin without feeling like your chest was caving in.
Then two weeks became three.
Three became four. By the fifth week, even you knew you were dragging your feet.
Manager Kim never said it like that. He only asked if you needed more time, if you were sure, if you wanted to talk through options before making anything official.
But you knew that you were just scared.
Not of the job. Never because of this job.
You missed the job so badly it embarrassed you. You missed schedules and fittings and venue calls. You missed knowing what someone needed before they asked. You missed the strange chaos of keeping five grown men alive, fed, clothed, and mostly on time.
You missed them. That was the part you didnât say out loud.
You missed Kai sending you blurry selfies with captions like do i look alive be honest. You missed Beomgyu complaining just to hear himself talk. You missed Taehyun quietly fixing problems before anyone else noticed them. You missed Yeonjun acting above the chaos while being half the reason for it.
And you missed Soobin.
You missed Soobin in the way you were most ashamed of. Not casually. Not safely. You missed him like a habit you had worked five weeks to break.
Which was why coming back felt so terrifying.
Because missing him had never been the problem. The problem was that you didnât know which version of him would be waiting for you.
You had no idea if youâd be met with the sweet, flirty and slightly needy version of him. Or if the cruel one who made your boundaries feel like a betrayal was waiting for you.
So when you walked into the company building that morning, your stomach was tight enough to hurt.
Manager Kim met you in the lobby.
âYou ready?â he asked.
You adjusted the strap of your bag. âNo.â
He almost smiled. âThatâs fair.â
âI can still leave.â You said half-joking.
âYou can.â He looked at you, not taking your words as a joke.
You looked over at him.
He nodded once, serious now. âAt any point. Youâre not trapped here.â
That helped more than you wanted to admit.
You took a breath, then followed him upstairs.
The practice room door was already open.
You heard Kai before you saw him. âIs she here?â
Then footsteps, quick ones running in your direction. Then Kai appeared in the doorway, eyes wide, mouth open like he had just witnessed a miracle.
âOh my god.â
You barely had time to brace before he crossed the hall and wrapped both arms around you.
âYouâre back,â he said, squeezing you hard.
You laughed despite yourself. âKai, I need air.â
âNo. You left me with Manager Kim for five weeks.â
From inside the room, Beomgyu shouted, âSHEâS BACK?â
A second later, he was there too, dramatic as ever, clutching his chest. âDo you know what weâve been through?â Beomgyu exhaled as if heâd been through the trenches.
âYou had professional management,â Manager Kim said dryly.
Beomgyu ignored him. âOppression.â
Taehyun appeared behind him with a relieved smile. âWelcome back.â
Yeonjun leaned against the wall, arms crossed, but his grin gave him away. âPlease never leave us with him again.â
Manager Kim sighed. âIâm standing right here.â
âThatâs the issue,â Beomgyu said.
You laughed again, and something in your chest loosened.
It didnât fix everything you were feeling but it loosened the tension that was burning under your skin.
Then your eyes moved past them. Soobin was inside the practice room.
He wasnât rushing toward you. He wasnât staring like he was owed something. He wasnât sulking in the corner either.
He was standing near the mirrors, hands at his sides, watching quietly.
When your eyes met, your body prepared itself.
For guilt, tension. For some unreadable look that would make you feel like you had done something wrong by coming back.
But Soobin only gave you a small nod.
Not cold or wounded. Just careful like he understood that even looking at you too long might be too much. Your throat tightened at the sight.Â
Manager Kim cleared his throat. âAlright. Everyone has ten minutes before schedule review.â
The others groaned immediately.
You slipped back into motion almost on instinct, pulling your tablet from your bag. âItâs not that bad, guys.â
Beomgyu pointed at you. âSee? That. I missed that.â
âYou missed being told what to do?â You raised an eyebrow.
âI missed it being you.â Yeonjun shrugged.
You rolled your eyes, but your smile stayed.
The morning moved easier than you expected.
You shouldâve accepted it, moved on and just let it be the way it was. Yet you kept waiting for the catch.
When Kai forgot where he put his in-ears, Soobin didnât snap. He helped look. When Beomgyu interrupted you three times during schedule review, Soobin didnât glare until the room went quiet. He only said, âLet her finish.â
He wasnât cold or mean, just firm.
When you corrected Soobin on a timing issue for one of those pre-recorded interviews, your pulse jumped before you even finished the sentence. Old instinct.
You expected his face to close off.
Expected the shift. Expected that familiar sting of him taking your job personally.
Instead, Soobin looked down at the updated script and nodded.
âYouâre right,â he said. âI missed that.â
That was it. No attitude, no punishment disguised as distance. Just acceptance.
You stared for half a second too long. He didnât call you on it but he noticed.
By lunch, you had seen it enough times to know it wasnât an accident.
He was trying. No, it was more than trying. He was stopping himself before the damage happened, maybe that was the first time you realized there was a difference.
By the time the day started winding down, you were exhausted in a way you hadnât expected.
Not from the schedule. From watching.
You kept catching yourself doing it. Watching Soobin when someone interrupted him. Watching him when a staff member corrected something. Watching him when Beomgyu pushed too far with a joke or when Kai forgot something he was supposed to remember.
You werenât waiting for him to fail. At least, you didnât think you were. However, you were waiting for the shift.
The old one. The tightening of his jaw. The wounded silence. The way he used to turn small disappointments into proof that everyone was against him.
It never came. Not once. Maybe that was the part that unsettled you most. He wasnât reaching for you every few seconds anymore. He wasnât orbiting you like you were the only thing keeping him upright.
That should have made you feel better. Instead, it made you feel strange. Because part of you had prepared for the worst so thoroughly that you didnât know what to do with better.
You were packing your tablet away when Soobin stopped a few feet from you.
âDo you have a minute?â
Your fingers paused.
The room was almost empty. Yeonjun and Taehyun had already left. Kai was somewhere down the hall bothering a stylist. Beomgyu had disappeared the second he heard food was being ordered.
Still, your first instinct was to say no.
Soobin seemed to notice. He took half a step back. âIf not, thatâs okay.â
That made you look at him.
Not because it was dramatic but because it wasnât. There was no pressure in his voice. No wounded edge. No silent punishment waiting behind the words.
Just an option.
You let out a slow breath. âI have a minute.â
He nodded toward the chairs near the wall. âCan we sit?â
You hesitated again then you nodded. The two of you sat with one empty chair between you.
You noticed that too. Soobin didnât try to close the space.
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
Then he looked down at his hands and said, âThank you.â
You turned your head slightly. âYou said that earlier.â
âI know.â His mouth twitched, but it wasnât really a smile. âI didnât say it enough.â
Your chest tightened. âSoobinââ
âIâm not going to make you comfort me,â he said quickly.
You stopped.
He inhaled, slow and careful. âThatâs one of the things Iâm trying to stop doing.â
The honesty of it made your throat feel tight.
He kept looking at his hands. âWhen I feel bad, I make it someone elseâs responsibility to make me feel better. Usually yours.â
You didnât say anything because he was right. He was finally admitting his biggest fault.
âAnd when you donât,â he continued, âI act like youâre hurting me.â His fingers flexed once against his knee. âI did that when you said no.â
You swallowed.
Soobin finally looked at you.
âIâm sorry.â His voice was quiet.
No desperation. No panic. No flood of texts. No attempt to pull forgiveness out of you before you were ready.
Just sorry.
âI know I already texted it,â he said. âAnd I know that probably made it worse because I kept texting when you didnât answer.â
Your eyes dropped.
âI panicked,â he admitted. âBut that doesnât matter. I still shouldnât have done it.â
You looked back at him. He held your gaze for a second, then looked away first.
âI was angry because you said no, and instead of accepting that, I tried to make you feel guilty. I made it sound like you were ashamed of me. I mocked your job. I said you forgot it was supposed to be a job.â His voice faltered slightly there, but he steadied it. âThat was cruel.â
You felt the words settle between you. For five weeks, you had imagined him apologizing.
You had imagined him saying he didnât mean it. Saying he was hurt. Saying he was scared. Saying anything that would make you feel like you had to understand him before you were allowed to be angry.
This was different. He wasnât explaining it in a way that made him innocent. He was naming it.
âI hated you a little for that,â you admitted.
Soobin nodded. The lack of protest almost hurt.
âYou should have.â He agreed.
You looked over at him, his hair falling into his face. He gave you a small, sad smile. âI hated me too.â
âThatâs not what I meant.â
âI know.â He looked down again. âSorry.â
Another pause but youâre the one that spoke up this time. âI didnât want to leave.â
His face changed, not dramatically. But enough.
âI know.â
âNo, you donât.â Your voice stayed quiet, but something in it sharpened. âI love this job. I worked hard to get here, and I felt like I had to walk away because being around you started feeling unsafe.â
Soobinâs throat bobbed. âI know.â
This time, you believed that he did.
âI wasnât scared youâd hurt me physically,â you said. âI was scared of what version of you Iâd get every time I told you no.â
His eyes shut briefly. You kept going before you lost your nerve.
âI was scared that doing my job would make you resent me. I was scared that if I drew a line, youâd punish me for it. And I was scared because part of me still wanted to cross it.â
Soobin opened his eyes but you looked away. You couldnât look at him even though you so desperately wanted to.
âThatâs why I needed to leave.â
The silence after that was heavy, but not angry.Â
Soobinâs voice was careful when he spoke again. âDo you still want to?â
You knew what he meant. He wanted to see how you felt about that line now that there was distance.
You stared at the floor. âThatâs not a fair question.â
His face fell slightly. Then he nodded. âYouâre right. I shouldnât have asked that.â
No guilt, just acceptance.
You breathed out slowly. âI donât know what I want,â you said. âBut I know what I need.â
Soobin nodded again. âBoundaries.â
âYes.â You said quickly but firm.
âI can do that.âHe corrected himself almost immediately. âIâm learning to do that.â
That felt more honest.
You nodded once. âI need you to not come to me for everything,â you said. âNot emotionally. Not when youâre spiraling. Not when you want me to fix how you feel.â
âI know.â
âAnd if I say no, I need it to just be no.â
His voice softened. âOkay.â
âNo arguing.â
âOkay.â
âNo making me explain until you find a reason to be hurt.â
That one landed. You saw it, a shift in his face but he recovered quickly. Only nodding in response.âOkay.â
You studied him for a moment.
âYouâre being very agreeable.â
A small breath of laughter left him. âIâm trying not to be annoying.â
âYouâre always annoying.â
His mouth twitched. For the first time all day, the air between you almost felt familiar.
Then Soobin looked at you again, more serious. âIâm going to therapy.â
âI know.â
âI donât want you to think Iâm doing it just so you come back.â
You didnât answer right away.
He continued, âI mean⊠I wanted you to come back. I still do. Obviously. But I know that canât be the reason.â
Your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag as he talked.
âMy therapist said if I make getting better about earning someone back, then Iâll stop trying the second I donât get what I want.â
You blinked. That was painfully accurate and reassuring that it wasnât just a thing you saw about him.
Soobin smiled faintly at your expression. âYeah. I hated hearing that too.â
Despite yourself, you almost smiled. He looked relieved by even that much.
âShe also said thereâs a difference between wanting someone and making them your obsession,â he said quietly. His eyes flicked to yours for half a second. âBetween caring about someone and needing them to keep you okay.â
You looked down at your hands. âI think I liked it sometimes,â you admitted. âBeing the person you looked for first.â
Soobinâs expression softened, but he didnât move closer.
âBut it was too much,â you said.
âI know,â he replied. âI donât want to need anyone like that anymore.â
He inhaled carefully before speaking again. âIâm doing it because I donât want to keep being someone people have to recover from.â
Your throat tightened. That sentence hurt more than you anticipated. Because for once, he wasnât asking you to tell him he wasnât that bad.
You nodded slowly. âGood.â
He accepted that too. Just good. Nothing more.
The door opened down the hall, voices echoing faintly. The moment was almost over.
You stood first. Soobin stood too, but didnât move closer.
âIâm glad you came back,â he said.
You looked up at him, his hands finding a place in his pockets as he looked at you. âIâm glad today wasnât terrible,â you replied.
His smile was small. âHigh praise.â
âIt is for us.â
âYeah,â he said softly. âIt is.â
Before you reached the door, he spoke again. âY/N?â
You froze where you were.
âI wonât ask you for anything else.â
Your hand rested on the doorframe. You didnât turn around right away.
Then you glanced back at him. âGood.â
And this time, when you left the room, he let you.
wc: 1.5k
a/n: after the screenshots there is a little blurb about soobin
warnings: everyone is jumping soobin for being an idiot (deserved), soobin asking for help gets brought up again. i dont think there's anything else?
masterlist
Soobin stared at Manager Kimâs text until the words blurred slightly, then locked his phone like that would somehow make the walk to the office shorter.
Every step felt too loud. Every hallway felt too empty. Usually, if he got called in for something, you were the first person he looked for. You would already know why. You would already have that look on your face, half-warning, half-tired, like you were silently begging him not to make it worse.
But you werenât there. That was the whole point.
Manager Kimâs office door was cracked open when Soobin arrived.
He knocked anyway.
âCome in.â
Soobin stepped inside, taking a moment to read the room. Manager Kim didnât look angry, that somehow made it feel worse.
He was sitting behind his desk with his phone face-down beside a folder Soobin didnât recognize. His expression was calm in the way adults got when they had already decided exactly how serious something was going to be.
Soobin shut the door behind him.
âSit.â Manager Kim gestured to the available chair.
Soobin sat across from his desk without hesitation. Not slumping into the chair like he usually would.
For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.
Then Manager Kim asked, âWhat happened with Y/N?â
Soobin looked down at his hands. âI already told the members.â
âIâm not the members.â His tone was flat.
âI asked her out.â Soobin was quiet as he stared down at his fingers that were nervously flexing in front of him.
âAnd?â
âShe said no.â He stopped moving for a moment.
âAnd?â
Soobinâs jaw tightened. âAnd I reacted badly.â
Manager Kim leaned back in his chair. âThatâs vague.â
âI got upset.â
âThatâs still vague.â
Soobinâs fingers curled against his knees. âI was embarrassed.â
âI didnât ask how you felt,â Manager Kim said. âI asked what happened.â
Soobinâs throat worked around nothing. He hated this. Hated how every version of the truth made him sound exactly as bad as he had been. Hated that there was no way to explain it without exposing the ugliest parts of himself.
âI said things I shouldnât have.â He looked up at the desk, eyes shaky instead of staying steady on the middle-aged man in front of him.
âWhat things?â Manager Kim continued to press.
âI donât remember all of it.â
Manager Kimâs stare sharpened. Soobin looked away, even though it didnât lessen the intensity.
âI remember enough,â he admitted quietly.
âThen start there.â
Soobin swallowed. âI made it seem like she was embarrassed by me.â
âWas she?â
âNo.â
âDid she say she was?â
âNo.â
âThen why did you say it?â
Because it was easier than admitting she was right.Â
If he could make it about being unwanted, then he didnât have to sit with the fact that you had a real reason to say no. Because if you weren't hurting him, then he didnât have to be the one hurting you. Soobin said none of that.
âI was mad.â Were the words he settled on.
Manager Kimâs expression didnât move. âThat is not an explanation. That should usually be a warning sign.â
Soobin went still.
âYou donât get to use anger as a reason for why people should accept what you say to them.â Manager Kim spoke plainly.
âI know.â
âNo,â Manager Kim said. âYou keep saying that. I donât think you do.â
Soobinâs mouth shut. Manager Kim tapped the folder once. âShe didnât ask for leave because you were rejected.â
Soobin looked at the folder, eyes needing to lock onto anything but the man lecturing him for his actions.
âShe asked because she felt like working with you was becoming impossible.â
The words hit him low in the chest.
Impossible. Not hard. Not complicated. Not messy.
Impossible.
âShe said that?â He asked in disbelief.
âShe didnât have to.â Manager Kim shrugged.
Soobinâs eyes dropped again.
Manager Kim continued, âShe didnât want to give me details. Do you understand what that tells me?â
âThat she was protecting me,â Soobin said, voice thin.
âYes.â
The conversation felt like it was becoming impossibly worse.
Manager Kimâs tone stayed even. âEven when she was the one asking for help, she was still trying not to make things worse for you.â
Soobin pressed his lips together.
âShe shouldnât have had to do that.â
âI know.â Manager Kimâs eyes narrowed slightly at Soobin.
Soobin exhaled shakily. âI know. I mean it.â
âThen stop dodging.â
Soobinâs chest tightened.
Manager Kim leaned forward. âDid you mock her job?â
Soobin flinched. âIââ
âDid you?â His eyebrow raised.
âI called it precious.â Soobinâs voice was small.
Manager Kimâs jaw flexed.
Soobin looked down. âI didnât mean it like that.â
âBut you said it like that.â
âYes.â
âAnd did you accuse her of only caring about you when you were a problem to solve?â
Soobinâs stomach dropped. He looked up and from that sad little look in his eyes, Manager Kim already knew.
Soobinâs voice came out smaller. âYes.â
Manager Kim was quiet for a moment.
Then he opened the folder. âShe was looking up therapists for you.â
The room seemed to lose air.
Soobin blinked. âWhat?â
âYou came to her and told her you wanted help,â Manager Kim said. âSo she took you seriously.â
Soobin stared at him.
âShe was researching private therapists who could work around your schedule. People with experience handling public figures, emotional regulation, pressure, burnout.â
Soobin couldnât speak. His mouth parted slightly, but nothing came out.
Manager Kim looked down at the papers in the folder, then back at him. âShe had names. Availability. Notes.â
Soobinâs eyes burned.
He remembered that night too clearly now. How quietly he had admitted it. How he hadnât been able to look at you when he said he thought something was wrong with him. How you hadnât mocked him. Hadnât pushed. Hadnât made him feel pathetic.
You had only said, Okay. Then weâll figure it out.
âWe.âÂ
Not you. Not him.
We.
His hands curled tighter. âI didnât know,â he whispered.
âYou didnât ask.â
Soobin shut his eyes.
Manager Kim didnât let up. âYou accused her of treating you like a problem while she was actively trying to help you because you asked her to.â
A shaky breath left him. âI didnât meanââ
âI know you didnât mean it,â Manager Kim cut in. âBut thatâs not enough anymore.â
Soobin opened his eyes.
Manager Kim slid the folder across the desk.
âYou have an appointment.â
Soobin stared at it.
âWith who?â
âOne of the therapists she found.â
His chest tightened all over again. âShe stillââ
âShe gave me the information before agreeing to the leave,â Manager Kim said. âShe said if she was going to even consider coming back, there needed to be actual help involved.â
Soobin looked at the folder like touching it would hurt.
âNot apologies,â Manager Kim continued. âNot promises. Not you swearing youâll be better because you feel guilty in the moment. You need to get the actual help that you asked for.â
Soobin swallowed hard. âShe said that?â
âShe said she couldnât come back to the same situation.â
Soobinâs eyes stayed fixed on the folder.
âAnd she shouldnât have to,â Manager Kim said.
The office went quiet. For once, Soobin didnât have anything to say. No defense, no explanation and no hurt feelings he could hold up like proof that he was the wounded one.
Just the folder. Just your work and the evidence that even when you were leaving, you had still made sure someone knew how to help him.
Manager Kimâs voice lowered. âYour appointment is tomorrow at eleven.â
Soobin nodded slowly.
âYou will go.â
Another nod.
âAnd until Y/N decides otherwise, you will not contact her.â
âI canât,â Soobin said before he could stop himself.
Manager Kim watched him.
Soobin looked away. âShe blocked me.â
Manager Kim didnât look surprised. âShe had every right to.â
Soobinâs throat tightened. âI know.â It felt like the only words he could say now.
This time, Manager Kim didnât correct him.
Maybe because Soobin sounded like he meant it or it was because there was nothing left to say.
Manager Kim closed the folder halfway, keeping one hand on top of it. âIf she comes back,â he said, âyou will treat her like your manager.â
Soobin nodded.
âNot your girlfriend. Not your almost. Not the person responsible for regulating your emotions. Your manager.â
âI understand.â
âAnd if she doesnât come back,â Manager Kim said, âyou will accept that too.â
Soobinâs eyes lifted.
The words were gentle enough to hurt. âIf?â He barely choked out.
Manager Kim held his gaze. âIf.â
Soobin looked back down at the folder.
For the first time since the messages turned green, he didnât reach for his phone. There was no one to text. No apology that could fix this tonight. No version of missing you that mattered more than what he had done.
Soobin picked up the folder with both hands.âOkay,â he said quietly.
warnings: soobin is toxic asf (we're all aware by now), readers friends are trying to help her, possibly an impulsive decision from reader Â
summary: tour is over and things between reader and soobin are starting to get too comfortable
a/n: i am saur sorry if this build up seems fast. i tried to pace it out lol. i also an noticing a typo but i fear it's too late for me to try and fix it.
masterlist
pairing: scoups x reader
genre: fluff, est. relationship
wc: 1.1k
a/n: i used a lip plumper for the first time. my lips look like two bums now lmao. anyhoo this is part 3 of kissy face cheol uwu
part1 part 2
"How much time do we have left?" You shout from your shared bedroom. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror, smoothing down the front of your outfit before reaching for the tiny tube sitting on the vanity.
The lip plumper you bought three days ago after getting influenced by a girl on TikTok with impossibly glossy lips.You grab it with a quiet hum, twisting the cap open before smoothing the cool product carefully across your mouth.
From outside the room, you hear Seungcheol's voice carrying lazily through the apartment. "Baby, we're not late yet, take your time."
You smile to yourself automatically. He says it so casually, like it's obvious he'd wait forever for you if he had to.
And honestly, he probably would.
Seungcheol has never once rushed you while getting ready. Never complained when you changed outfits four times. Never sighed dramatically or checked the clock every thirty seconds like some boyfriends did. If anything, he liked watching you get ready. Liked sitting nearby and talking to you while you did your makeup.
You give your lips one final press together before grabbing your bag and stepping out into the living room.
Seungcheol is exactly where you expected him to beâspread comfortably across the sofa with one arm resting behind his head, phone balanced in his hand while he scrolls absentmindedly through something. He's dressed already, dark jacket thrown over a simple shirt, hair slightly messy in that way that somehow only makes him look softer.
The second he hears you approach, he looks up and smiles lovingly.
"There's my girl," he murmurs, locking his phone and sitting up properly. "Ready to go, babe?"
You nod while walking toward him, already leaning down instinctively before you even stop in front of him. "Mhm."
Your lips brush against his in a quick kiss. His hand settle naturally against your waist, thumb rubbing absent circles through the fabric of your outfit before you pull away.
"Lemme just put on my heels," you mumble, pressing a kiss on his dimple.
By the time you're out, Seungcheol has already taken out the car. As you slide into the passenger seat,you see him tapping lightly against the steering wheel to the music playing softly through the speakers. The inside of the car smells faintly like his cologne and the iced coffee he insisted on grabbing earlier.
The moment you settle into your seat, he turns toward you slightly.
"You warm enough?" he asks automatically.
"Yes, dad."
"I'm serious," he says, reaching over to tug lightly at the sleeve of your jacket. "Last time you said you were fine and then stole my coat an hour later."
"That's because you're basically a human heater."
"You love it."
You do.
Instead of answering, you lean across the center console and kiss him again before buckling your seatbelt. This kiss lasts longer than the one from earlier.
Seungcheol kisses you lazily, one hand still resting on the wheel while the other comes up automatically to cup your jaw for a second. His lips are warm against yours, soft and familiar enough that kissing him feels less like an action and more like muscle memory at this point.
When you finally pull away, he looks faintly dazed for a second before starting the car properly.
The drive begins quietly.
Your phone rests in your lap while you scroll mindlessly through notifications, occasionally glancing up to look outside at the passing streetlights. Seungcheol hums softly along to the music under his breath, fingers tapping against the steering wheel.
Suddenly, you hear a tiny hiss from your side. Your brows pinch slightly, but you ignore it. When it happens again, you immediately glance up.
Seungcheol's face is scrunched slightly in confusion while he presses his lips together awkwardly. His tongue darts out to wet them before he bites lightly at the bottom one like he's trying to figure something out.
"What's wrong?" you ask.
"Dunno hun." He glances at you briefly before looking back at the road. "My lips feel weird."
"Weird how?"
"I don't know?" he tilts his head. "LikeâŠburning?"
Your gaze drifts to his mouth,and the second you properly notice it, laughter bursts out of you so suddenly you nearly choke on air.
Seungcheol's head snaps toward you immediately. "Why are you laughing?"
"Youâ" you gasp between laughs, pointing uselessly toward him. "Babe, your lips."
"What about my lips?"
"Your lips got bigger." You wheeze.
"Babe stop playing." His voice drops.
"I'm serious!"
The panic on his face appears almost immediately after that. One hand flies up to yank down the vanity mirror above him while the other keeps the wheel steady. You watch his expression morph from confusion to absolute betrayal in real time.
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
The sound that leaves your mouth after that is somewhere between a laugh and a wheeze. Because his lips really are noticeably puffier nowâsoft and swollen and ridiculously glossy from him constantly rubbing them together.
"Oh my god," he groans, still staring at himself in horror. "Why do I look like I lost a fight with bees?"
"It's the lip plumper!" you finally manage to say. "I forgot I put it on!"
"You forgot?!" He looks genuinely scandalized. "You can transfer that stuff through kissing?!"
"I guess so!"
Despite his complaining, he keeps absentmindedly touching his lips every few seconds, brows furrowed while he processes the sensation.
Honestly, it's adorable. Especially because beneath all the whining, he still keeps leaning toward you at every red light like his body naturally gravitates in your direction.
"Babeuhhh," he whines miserably, sinking lower into his seat. "What am I supposed to do now? Your parents are gonna open the door and immediately start laughing at me."
"They are not." You place your hand over his thigh.
"Yes they are! Look at me!"
You laugh harder at the genuine panic in his voice
"They honestly don't even look that different," you insist. "Your lips were already big.â
He gasps softly, turning to look at you. "âŠYou flirting with me right now while I'm suffering?"
You shrug casually, leaning across the center console again. This time, when you kiss him, he lets out the tiniest wounded whine into your mouth because the tingling definitely got worse but he still kisses you back immediately.
You pull away at the sound, eyes narrowing offended. "Do you not want me to kiss you?"
"When did I say that?" he mumbles instantly, pouting.
The pout only makes his lips look bigger.
You wanted laughed again. Instead, you lean in and kiss him once more. And despite the burning sensation, despite the whining, despite the fact that he keeps complaining every thirty secondsâSeungcheol still tilts toward you every single time like he physically cannot help himself.
Pairing: Non-Idol Jeonghan x F. Reader
WC: 14.5+K
Rating: E 18+ MDNI
Genre: Non-Idol AU, Childhood friends to Lovers, smut, fluff
Summary: Growing up, you and Jeonghan were inseparable, best friends, partners in crime, each otherâs rocks when needed. It was always you and him against the world. Then you grew up. You moved away for college while he stayed behind. Lives took you in different directions, further away from your hometown, from the world you knew, from Jeonghan. But you both made a promise, the year you turned 31, you two would meet again no matter where life took you. To reconnect, to catch up, to remember your friendship. It was meant to be a rebirth of your friendship, but really it was the beginning of something more. And remind you that he's home
Tags: Non-Idol AU, Childhood friends to Lovers, Reuniting, mentions of teenage rebellion (smoking, drinking, other things teens shouldnât be doing), rough housing, mention of family loss, yearning, Jeonghan is down bad, Member Appearances, drinking, smoking (weed and cigarettes), tension, flirting, angst, fluff, smut; Nickname: bug (hers)
Smut tags: Unprotected sex (no donât do this), oral (m. receiving)
A/N: Here is my second submission for the wonderful The Reef In Bloom collab by @dorereef. Thank you again to @mylovesstuffs (for letting me use your name in this too!) and @nothoughtsjustfic for hosting this collab. This was alot of fun to write and be part of. I once more am happy to be part of it.
A/N2: Thank you for @gam3bo17 and @aeristudios for helping me out with this fic, and thank you Aeris for beta reading. You are the best! <3
I hope you all enjoy! My Jihoon submission will be later this week.
Seventeen Masterlist
*Twenty-four years ago*
âYoon Jeonghan!â His motherâs voice boomed through the small home, your full name quickly following, but it was fruitless. The two of you were already running out the door, giggling, both of you with handfuls of the cookies that his mother had spent hours making.
âThis way,â you tell him, and the seven-year-old boy nodded, following you without any further questions. Just like you did him.
Pushing aside a broken board in a fence, you and him slipped through into an abandoned looking backyard. On the other end of the yard, there was an old wooden shed and exactly where you were leading him. The once fresh and crisp wood now weathered from age and the elements; the door barely held onto its hinges, and a window that had several cracks in it.
Your hidden oasis. Yours and Jeonghan's little hide out.
Inside the old building, cobwebs covered corners of the walls. There was an old lawnmower that was rusted and abandoned to time and a built-in table to one side that was already filled with other snacks and drinks you both swiped from each otherâs home. There were also two small sleeping bags laid out to be able to sit on the ground without getting your bottoms dirty.
âI canât believe she fell for that,â Jeonghan giggled, setting his share of the cookies onto a broken plastic plate, one your grandmother threw away and you dug out of the trash to use in your âhide outâ.
âI told you, she would. Sheâs like my grandma when she is baking.â You tell him with ease. Your seven-year-old confidence was admirable, your share joining his on the plate, except for one that you were going to eat. Taking a bite of the soft warm cookie, you continued to talk with your mouth full, âIt was all a matter of striking at the right moment. You know this, Hanni.â
âShe is going to be so mad at me when I get home,â He chuckled, his own mouth now full of cookies. You roll your eyes, reaching up from your place on the ground to grab two juice boxes, because you knew Jeonghanâs mom wasnât going to be that mad. Not like your grandma would be at least. âShe will be!â
âShe never stays mad at you,â You quipped, dropping your cookie to cross your arms, a pout already forming. âYou hardly ever get in trouble.â
âThatâs not true!â Jeonghan shot back, copying you exactly, but stuck his tongue out in the process. âYou donât know how often I get in trouble. Especially because of you!â
âI donât tell you to join in! I suggest!â You could feel your body growing hot with annoyance, dropping your arms with your fists now clenched. âYou are the one who gets me in trouble all the time!â
âYes, you do! You pulled my hair the last time I didnât go with one of your plans!â Jeonghan snapped, and you gasped like he had just insulted your entire doll collection. Then you hit his arm, and his face darkened. âSee! You hit me if I donât agree with you!â
âYou pushed me in the mud the last time I disagreed with you!â You countered, your young voices rising as you both did, getting into each otherâs faces. âAnd I was grounded for a week after that too! I couldnât watch TV because of you!â
Somehow this turned into a little squabble, where you and Jeonghan grabbed each other. Your hand was in his short dark hair, while he was trying to swat you off, crying out to let him go. In the middle of it, one of your feet kicked the plate that held your stolen cookies, breaking the plastic further and the baked treats were now being trampled by your feet.
âLook what you did!â Jeonghan yelled, pointing to the cookies when he finally was able to get your hand out of his hair while you stood there. Your face contorted into anger, and more offense that he would blame you when he was being the mean one.
âI didnât just do that! You did too!â You retorted, and the young boy rolled his eyes. âOur cookies are ruined! And so is our little spot! You need to clean that up!â
âNo, you!â
âYou!â
In the end, the two of you ended up sitting on opposite ends of the sleeping bags. Arms crossed, backs facing each other, while the broken cookies and plate rested between you both. The silence was loud as you both refused to be the one to speak first, both of you too stubborn to break first.
In the end it was Jeonghan who broke the silence, standing to grab another juice box for you both and a packet of candies that you liked from the table. A peace offering in a way. You shot him a look, your eyes dropping to the candies and juice box before up to his face. His gaze was softer, with an apologetic expression on his face.
âSorry,â He mumbled, and you tried to keep up being mad, but the way his bottom lip jutted out as he apologized made it hard. Instead, you reached out and took the offerings, and he sat down next to you.
âSorry too...â You mumbled, sharing the candies with him before cleaning up the broken plate and ruined cookies.
*Thirteen years ago*
âOh my god, Jeonghan, stop hogging the joint!â You whined, reaching for the rolled up paper that had your weed in it, but Jeonghan seemed to be trying to smoke it all to himself.
âGive me. Remember its puff puff give. I only did one puff.â He retorted, holding the joint just out of your reach so you were practically falling into the eighteen-year-old boy.
âBullshit! That was more than one; hell it was more than two! It was like three!â You argued back, your arm still outstretched to grab the joint from him, âYoon Jeonghan, if you donât give me that joint now, I am beating your bitch ass up.â
âPlease like you can take me,â Jeonghan laughed, attempting to put the burning joint back to his lips, his other arm trying to push you back while you fought to grab it from him.
You both were back at the shed again, the same old structure still holding out even after all these years, but things were different. The old lawnmower was now gone and sitting next to the it, collecting more rust and cobwebs in its new home, the webs in the corners no longer there, and the sleeping bags had changed to an old loveseat that one of your friends found. The juice boxes and snacks that were once on the table were replaced with a pizza box, a half empty bottle of Jeonghanâs dad stolen whiskey, a baggy of cheap weed, and some rolling papers.
And the two seven-year-olds who would hide away in it with stolen snacks, or other things to entertain were now eighteen. Freshly graduated from high school, stuck in that limbo stage where you both werenât quite adults but not quite children anymore, and preparing for the next steps in your life. You were going off to a school abroad while Jeonghan was staying back in your hometown, choosing to go to a local college first.
âGod, youâre so annoying,â You pouted, practically pushing him back and sitting on his stomach to grab the joint, but laughter was filtering out of you before you could stop it. Bringing laughter from the pinned man below you, a lazy smirk played over his lips like he was meant to win this no matter what. âJeonghan, youâre going to smoke it all!â
âThen I will buy you more!â He argued, and you slapped his chest. Grabbing your wrist before you could hit him again, Jeonghanâs grip held you there as he lifted the joint to your lips. Like instinct, you took a deep inhale, letting the harsh herb fill your lungs and altering your non-sober state more. You try to free yourself from him, so you can smoke it how you wanted, but he wouldnât let you.
Pulling back finally, you blew the smoke from your lungs into the air, and it was then that Jeonghan let you go, only to be smacked in the chest once more before you slipped off him and back to your seat next to him. Your leg tucked under you, your bare skin pressing into the old wood by your weight, but you ignored any possible splinters that may come from it.
âYou suck, you know that?â You tell him, and this earned another chuckle from him.
âAnd you blow. Weâre both whores here.â Jeonghan teased, placing the joint between his lips to rest his arms behind his head. Each breath inhaled the smoke from nearly finished joint into his lungs. His long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, but there were several strands that fell loose around his face.
His old Sublime shirt torn in a different place and showed off his stomach from the way he was laying, skinny jeans, and a gold chain with angel wings that was once yours laying against his throat. Skin glowing from the setting sun and the lantern behind you both, making him look ethereal.
You envied how beautiful your best friend was.
âGive me that,â You quipped, taking the chance to swipe the joint from him. A triumphant smile was playing over your lips before you realized that it was nearly gone. âYou asshole, you smoked most of this.â
âAnd you drank most of my whiskey. Call us even.â He answered dismissively, closing his eyes briefly.
âWhatever,â you told him, taking whatever hit you can of the joint before putting it out, smashing it hard against the wood. Silence followed, the two of you sitting at the doorway of the shed, your eyes scanning the overgrown yard and the half burnt down house just feet from you.
Itâd been like that for years, with no one coming to do anything about the destroyed home or the property it stood on, making it a haven for you and Jeonghan growing up, and a place of many things. Your first kiss with a boy that smelled like he used a whole can of body spray to cover that he hadnât bathed, Jeonghanâs first kiss with a girl who tried to fight you over him.
You spent nights in the shed to avoid your grandparents and their old fashion but offensive words, many with Jeonghan right next to you. Refusing to leave you while you refused to crash at his place, because you knew his mom would call your grandparents. You got high and drunk for the first time with him next to you, and blasted music through a shitty speaker that neither of you could explain the origin of.
Hell, you two used it as a place to hide once when you had the cops called on you for stealing. You donât think either of you had ever been so scared thinking you were caught, but it didnât stop you because the thrill left you both laughing until your stomach hurts.
You laughed, cried, and felt every emotion you could think of in this shed, with Jeonghan beside you. In a week's time, you will be on a plane to a new country with a family friend willing to house you during your studies, and away from your home. Away from your life, away from the little shed. Away from the comforting blanket of your hometown.
Away from Jeonghan.
âYouâre thinking too loud again,â His voice pulled you from your thoughts, turning your gaze toward your best friend. He was still laying back; arms folded behind his head as a pillow and prop, with his eyes on you. A small sad smile played on his lips, because he knew what you were thinking about too. âTalk to me, bug.â
"You're a bug. I should squish you," You answer back, matching his smile as you watched him let our a breathy laugh.
âI would like to see you try. You couldnât even get the joint from me.â He then lifts his leg to nudge you with his knee. âNow, talk to me.â
âItâs stupid.â
âI mean, yeah your face is, but itâs at least pretty while being it.â He offered and you slapped his knee. He then sat up, giving you the famous lazy Jeonghan smirk you grew up seeing, but you could tell it was only a front.
âJust⊠growing up.â You told him, gesturing between the two of you, âWeâre no longer kids anymoreâŠâ
âDebatable.â He murmured while you spoke.
ââŠwe graduated high school and are preparing to be thrusted into the real world. Weâre having to finally grow up and face life. IâmâŠâ The words failed you then, and in its place was a soft choking sound. A sob that wanted to burst through, but you managed to swallow it back while blinking the sudden tears that wanted to fall. Jeonghan could see it all as he nodded. âIâm leaving⊠leaving everything I knowâŠâ This time your voice cracked, âLeaving you.â
âPlease, the moment you agreed to marry me on the playground at five you were stuck with me.â Jeonghan answered, doing what he did best, trying to make light of something instead of showing what heâs really feeling. And you hated that it would work more times than it didnât. âJust⊠there is going to be some distance between us. Itâs not like Iâm not a phone call or message away, and weâll see each other again. This isnât a final thing.â
âIt feels like it is.â This comment made him tsk at you.
âIt doesnât to me.â He shook his head, watching through broken windows as a car passed by. The driver wouldnât even know you were sharing one of the last times together before life took hold of you. One of the last times you would be free like this, this age, in the moment, and with the only person, besides your grandparents, who stuck by your side.
Someone you grew up with, someone you got into trouble with, someone who never was fake with you. Someone you saw every day and spent most of it with. Your best friend.
âIt doesnât?â
âOf course not. How could it be when we are still so young?â He asked simply and you could only listen to him, âItâs also not like you are leaving for good. Your grandparents are still here; your friends are here⊠I am here.â
âBut what if our lives donât allow room for each other anymore?â This earned another tsk, as well as an offending sounding laugh. Hurt flashed across his eyes before he looked away, like it was preposterous to even say something like that.
âI donât know about you, but Iâll always have room for you in my life.â He said curtly, and you dropped your shoulders while making an over exasperated sigh. That wasnât what you meant.
âUgh, Hanni, I donât mean it like that.â He turns his attention back to you, before flashing it toward the whiskey bottle. âI mean... what if even when I come home⊠we donât have time for each other? We donât get to see each other. Youâre going to be working, going to school, and eventually youâre going to fall in love and have a partner. Same for me too.â
âIâm not sure how that sounds any different than your previous statement,â Jeonghan mumbled this, pushing his lip out in a pout. Reaching out, he caught a tear falling with his thumb, only to yank his hand away and shake it like he touched lava. This did what he wanted it to, which was to laugh.
âHanniâŠâ
âItâs okay. I forgive you for hurting my feelings. This is a hard time for us both,â There was so much honesty to his words, it was also written all over his face. He was trying to not think about the inevitable, which was you were leaving. Not the forever he had declared, but it was still hard. âItâs not just you losing something, Iâm losing my best friend. My partner in crime. Who am I going to get into mischief with? Joshua?â
âI mean⊠at least heâll keep you from getting arrested.â
âIf heâs not too busy fucking anything that will let him.â Jeonghan rolled his eyes, âBut Iâm serious. Youâre not the only one who loses something in this. Except Iâm not accepting that this is it, because itâs not.â
âYes, now ask me what will happen if life doesnât do that.â He smirks, and you giggle.
âWhat will happen if life doesnât?â
âThen we do it still!â He announced throwing his arms up, before one found its way over your shoulder. âNo matter what, no matter where life takes us, we meet the year we turn thirty-one.â
âI can easily argue that the last three romances we watched was because of you, not me.â Jeonghan sat back down next to you, the bottle in his hand, but it remained unopen. His attention was on you, his eyes watching you as you try to find the words. Every part of him told you that he was serious about this, and it helped ease an ache that was building in you. âAnd letâs do it.â
âPerfect. Now letâs drink to the future.â
A week later, you were clinging to him at the airport as your grandfather got your luggage together. This time tears werenât holding back, Jeonghan wasnât able to say anything to help because he was busy fighting his own. Instead, he just held you as you gripped at the offensive SpongeBob shirt he was wearing, soaking it with not just your tears, but the mascara and eyeliner you had thickly drawn on. Only to have it cried away telling your best friend goodbye for now.
âHey,â Jeonghanâs voice was soft when he pulled back, making you look at him. His eyes were shining, and red. Evidence that heâd been crying, though you knew heâd insist heâs actually high, and it nearly broke you. âRemember what I said. The year we turn thirty-one.â
You nodded, and he gives you a soft smile.
âIâll send you the details, so make sure you have the entire year free.â He teased and you let out a soft laugh before jumping from him, pinching you. You break away from his grasp to hit his shoulder. This earned a soft laugh from you, your eyes dropping to the angel wing necklace that still rested around his neck.
âIâll be sure to have all my information changed by then.â You laughed, and he pinched your side again. Your name then came from behind you both, your grandparents calling to you. It was time to go. Looking back at Jeonghan, you gave him a watery smile, âIâm going to miss you.â
âIâm going to miss you too,â This was the first time his voice finally cracked, and a tear started to fall. It was real. It was happening.
âIâll text you when I land.â
âYou better.â He teased. âI will see you again.â
âSee you again.â
**A year ago**
Your phone chimed right as you were cooking dinner, cutting off the music playing briefly, but you werenât able to stop what you were doing to look. Too focused on making sure that you didnât burn anything, but the couple that was in the kitchen with you noticed.
âNeed me to check that?â You heard Celeste ask, and you looked over your shoulder, to her and Soonyoung grabbing the plates and cutlery for the table.
âNo, itâs okay. I can check it later,â You waved her off, âDinners ready, and we have a proposal to go over.â
âWatch it Kwon, or Iâll run this company with Celeste insteadâ You warned him, grateful that Celeste was already stepping in to grab his collar to drag him out of the kitchen with everything to arrange at the table.
Twenty minutes later, the three of you were sitting around the table, two wine bottles open with one in front of you and one between the couple. You all were talking animatedly about the proposal that you and Soonyoung were putting together, hoping that the potential investor takes on your ideas and help launch your small business globally. Soonyoung had been right to have your own bottle open; it helped ease the tension that was building in your shoulders over all this, and there were more laughs than not.
âI should hire you as our creative director,â You joked, tipping your own wine glass in her direction. âYou can save me from a lot of tiger themed merchandise and advertising.â
âI love you, but if I took that, I probably would be canceling the wedding instead of planning a honeymoon,â Celeste laughed, and Soonyoung looked offended. âOh, donât look at me like that, I know how you are when youâre working. We met at work, remember?â
âOf course, I do. I barely was able to focus at meetings because all I wanted to do was look at you,â You actively rolled your eyes as the couple stared at each other like they hung the sun and the moon for each other, and it reminded you just how single you have been for the last few years. Happily single, but not when you were around these two being so sickeningly in love.
âGag me.â You muttered making the two look at you. Celeste playfully stuck her tongue at you, and Soonyoung pretended to growl. That was when you knew that you had lost them both to being lovey toward each other. You took this chance to check your phone, remembering it had gone off while you were cooking.
It was a message. From Jeonghan.
Your eyes widened as your fingers tightened around the stem of your glass, or you were going to drop it onto the table and spill wine all over the place. Casting your eyes up, you were relieved to see your two friends were still too busy staring at each other to notice your reaction.
You and him hadnât really spoken in nearly six years, not since you came home for your grandfatherâs funeral. Of course, you would wish each other a happy birthday, send the occasional meme, or a quick hello, but other than that, you barely spoke. You didnât want to admit that it was hard for you to respond because it made you want to go back to being that eighteen-year-old again.
But you knew what this was about. You had turned thirty recently, and his thirtieth was a few months away, which meant that the promise the two of you had made at eighteen, smoking and drinking in that abandoned shed, was also coming due. And he was reaching out to solidify the plans.
You shouldâve waited to read and respond after your friends left, when you had time to yourself, but you didnât. Clicking the notification, you unlocked the phone to read the message. Only to find it was confirmation for your plane tickets, and a set of dates. The first week of April next year, and for a week.
Back home. Where you hadnât stepped foot in nearly six years.
A few more messages had followed.
Jeonghan: Told you to keep your schedule open.
Jeonghan: See you in April, bug.
**two days before**
You mightâve been overthinking it. No, you were overthinking this as you stared at an empty suitcase, piles of clothes folded around it on your bed, bags of new clothes at the foot of the bed, and your toiletries all laid out on your bathroom counter. All waiting to be packed.
None of your clothes had felt right, the makeup you chose to bring felt too plain, and your nerves were starting to suffocate you. A part of you felt like you shouldnât feel this nervous, because it was just Jeonghan, but another part felt you were justified because it was Jeonghan. You hadnât seen him in person since your grandfatherâs funeral, only ever seeing his life through photos that he posted online.
Picture of him traveling with Joshua, and with your other friends, and relationships that never seemed to last a few months before the person disappeared from his photos. You watched his success in becoming a pharmacist like he had always wanted and was making a life for himself. He owned his own home, and he appeared happy with his life.
You had done the same, but away from him. You made a life where you now were, and selfishly barely looked back; especially after your grandfather had passed. You made friends where you were, had relationships, started a business with Soonyoung, and you made a life for yourself. You had become a different person, like he had.
This fact wasnât the only thing that had your nerves starting to settle uneasy in your gut. You were both different, and what if that difference was so great that neither of you could enjoy your time together again. Uncomfortable strangers the entire week instead of old friends looking to reconnect.Not only that, but what if also being back home made it worse? That being there was more painful than it should be, and it made you resent your oldest friend for bringing you back?
Then your phone chimed, with a message coming through.
Jeonghan: See you when you land.
Jeonghan: And stop overthinking things. I can hear your thoughts all the way over here. Haha.
That made you burst out in a laugh, because of course this silly line he used to say to you growing up would help loosen some tightness in you. It didnât settle your nerves though, it only unraveled them, so they werenât making you want to throw up and cry at the same time.
You responded.
You: Too late, so deal with it.
His response was instantaneous.
Jeonghan: Gladly.
**April**
You swore this entire journey had been one big April Foolâs joke with the way everything had gone wrong. You managed to finally pack everything, though you still werenât happy with your choices you couldnât just go naked, but you overslept the morning of your flight. The ride you had ordered was canceled at the last minute, making you late to the airport and nearly missed boarding.
Checking in had been a nightmare, and then there was a delay taking off.
When the plane did finally set off, you thought you would be in the clear for now. It would be smooth flying after this, and the bad luck got itself out of the way now than following you the entire trip. You hoped that the long flight will go well and give you a chance to rest, or Jeonghan was going to see you have an absolute crash out over it all.
You managed to get enough sleep, so you werenât as cranky when you landed, but it left you feeling stiff. You even tried to stretch some before unboarding, but it and the awkward shuffling didnât help. Gripping at your carryon, your focus was to get your suitcase and out of the airport. Thereâs a bed somewhere calling to you, and you were ready to meet the call.
With your suitcase now secured, you checked your phone to see if Jeonghan was there yet after insisting on picking you up instead of ordering a ride. Except when you looked around the semi-crowded airport, you didnât see him anywhere. There was no sight of the famous Jeonghan smirk, no sign being dramatically held up with your name, or anything like that.
Your phone started to ring in your hands. Â
âWhere are you?â You answered, pressing the device to your ear and skipping any and all pleasantries. This earned a chuckle on the other side, and your eyes immediately narrowed. Even with the time apart, you knew never to trust that chuckle.
âAbout thatâŠâ He started slowly, showing you were right not to trust it. There was no way he was going to try and fuck with you, but you shouldâve known better, âI am running late, car troubles, wonât be there for a few hours. Youâre going to have to wait until I get there.â
âYoon JeonghanâŠâ You took in a slow breath, trying to fight the annoyance that was bubbling under the surface. No, he wasnât going to do this to you after the trip youâve just had, âYou better not be fucking with me right now.â
âI wish, I could say I was,â There was a sigh to his voice, but before you could let him have it, he continued, âI am very sorry, bug. I wish I was there to see you right now. With your hair an absolute mess, your sweater falling off you, and the way you are pouting right now. Itâs so cute.â
âHuh?â You blinked, looking down at your body. Your sweater had fallen from your shoulders and was resting right at your elbows while strands of your hair escaped the loose ponytail you had put up. How the hell did he know if he wasnât there? Before you could question it, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. Twisting around, Jeonghan was standing there.
The phone still pressed to his ear, eyes shining with excitement and mischief, and that smirk that you once knew oh so well. His hair was shorter than the last time you seen him with it back to his natural dark brown. He was in a simple black t-shirt with a matching jacket and a pair of white pants, and you couldnât stop the way your heart skipped at the sight of him.
âApril Foolâs. Forgive me?â He teased, barely able to hang up the call before you were throwing your arms around his neck for a hug. The force of you jumping into him made Jeonghan stumble back slightly, but once he was able to catch his footing, his arms wrapped around your waist.
He pulled you so close your body was pressed against his like he had been desperate for this moment, but you were no better. Nuzzling your nose into his shirt, taking in the scent of his perfume and the way he held you tight. His own nose pressed to your hair, breathing in the faint smell of your perfume and shampoo, fingers flexing and squeezing gently at your sides.
Both of you forgot that you were still in the middle of the airport.
âYou asshole!â You finally bursted out when the two of you parted, slapping his arm while he laughed at you attempting to scold him. He saw the smile forming over your lips, making the smirk he was wearing turn into a genuine smile. One that nearly stole the very breath from you, âThat wasnât funny.â
âIt was a little funny.â He still hadnât let go of you, his hands resting on your hips like they always belonged there, his gaze drinking you in. Then he stepped back, withdrawing his hold on you to reach for your suitcase handle, âNow, letâs get out of here before you shove me into the cargo hold of one of these planes.â
âYou would deserve it,â You retorted earning an eye roll from him. One hand placed firmly against the small of your back, and the other pulling your suitcase behind you. With cool precision, Jeonghan directed you out of the airport while chatting with you about his day and asking you about your flight.
Like it was all part of a daily conversation you would always have, and there was no time between your last full conversation that wasnât in text.
âAfter you,â Jeonghan announced, making sure to open the passenger door for you while providing an overexaggerated bow that made you playfully swat his shoulder. A giggle escaped you as you got into the car, while he finished putting your suitcase in the back. Settling into the driverâs seat, he flashed you a lazy smile and you missed the way his hand twitched slightly to reach for yours. Instead he put the car into drive. âLetâs get out of here.â
âYou know, you never told me where I was staying.â You told him, your eyes watching the way the town looked now. Businesses that were once there on the main street gone, replaced with franchise stores and popular food spots. Places that you once occupied with your friends or grandparents gone, showing that the town was growing and changing like you had.
It didnât feel like your old home, but there was still something about it that told you it was. Just with a different look.
âEasy. With me.â He said with no hesitation, making you look at him. He had a pair of black sunglasses on, leaning back against the driverâs seat with one hand on the wheel while the other rested on his lap. Looking relaxed as he drove through the familiar streets. Stopping at a light, he cast a glance your way and you werenât sure, but you thought that his relaxed smile faltered slightly. âRather get a room? The old motel is still open, but you might have to cuddle with some roaches and a few rats.â
âI think I am good on that,â You donât hide your look of disgust, and this made Jeonghan start laughing as the light turned. âI would like the bed I sleep on be free of other occupants.â
âIs that so?â He muttered, his focus on the road letting silence fall over you. The radio was playing quietly, and you started to notice the familiar names of the streets.
They were the same names you would see every day growing up, the same streets you used to run around growing up. You chance a glance toward Jeonghan, only to find his focus on the road but the look on his face told you that he was waiting for your reaction.
Especially once he turned on the familiar street that the two of you grew up on.
âI knew you moved close to family, but I didnât know youâŠâ The words stopped in your throat when you pulled up to a beautiful home. It looked newer compared to the others on the street. White with grey trimming and a neatly cut yard with a stone pathway that lead right up to a small porch with a planter next to the door.
It was beautiful and unfamiliar, but you knew this property. It didnât matter how long it had been since you came back; you knew exactly where you were.
âCome on, bug. Letâs get inside.â Jeonghan didnât give you a chance to process your thoughts before he was shutting off the engine and unbuckle both of your belts. He was out of the car, leaving you there staring at the empty seat that he had once occupied.
It was the sound of the trunk closing that you were able to kick start back up and rushed to get out the car to follow him up the small pathway to the front door. Your heart was pounding in your ears, eyes wide staring at the home and Jeonghanâs back.
Once inside, you didnât stop to look around the home, instead your feet took you from the front door, through the open living room to a set of glass doors. If Jeonghan had said something to you, you didnât hear it because your focus was getting to the backyard. You barely looked around the yard itself, just that it was well taken care of.
No, your focus was on the shed that was in the same familiar place. You could feel tears starting to burn your eyes, memories flooding back to you, your eyes flicking over to the fence that once had a broken board. It was fixed with forsythias and azaleas flourishing in front of it, but you could still see a young Jeonghan popping through it while you waited for him at the shed.
âItâs not the same one.â Jeonghan said softly behind you, but you didnât look back, not wanting him to see a few tears fall. âThe old owners finally sold the property four years ago to a realtor company. They rebuilt the house and tore down it before putting the place back on the market.â
âAnd you bought it.â You responded, finally looking at him. He had his hands in his pants pockets, balancing on the balls on his feet, while his eyes were on you, catching more tears starting to fall.
âYeah, well, with the help from my parents. With conditions obviously,â Jeonghan continued, keeping his attention on you, âMoment I moved in, I had the shed put back in. Itâs used to actually store shit, not a hang out like we used to have it, but just something didnât feel right without it there.â
âWhat was the conditions?â You asked in a small voice, trying to wipe away the wetness from your face, when Jeonghan caught your elbow. Pulling you into a hug, he let out a soft tsk.
âLetâs not worry about that right now.â It was a clear deflection, but he wouldnât let you wiggle away from him to call him out. Then his hands found its way to your sides and started to tickle you.
âJeonghan!â You let out a small squeal, giggling while trying to get away from him. His own laughter mixed through yours in a sweet melody, helping you forget your tears.
âCome on, let me show you to your room.â His arm thrown lazily over your shoulder, directing you back toward the house. âAnd no roaches or rats to cuddle with.â
Jeonghan gave you a brief tour of his home, a kitchen and living room open floor style. Three bedrooms, the larger one with an ensuite on one side, while the two smaller ones with a Jack n Jill style on the other. Your room faced the yard, giving you perfect view of the shed, while Jeonghan had the larger room.
He left you to unpack and get cleaned up from your travels. The shower felt good, hot water helping you loosen the still sore muscles from your long flight and fight off the fatigue that you didnât know was creeping up on you. By the time you had gotten out, your skin felt flushed from the heat with your hands and feet slightly wrinkled. The towel Jeonghan had left out was dark grey, soft and fluffy and felt like heaven against your skin.
It felt good to be out of your airport clothes and in a soft pair of leggings and oversized t-shirt. Your hair was still slightly damp, so you left it loose around your bare face Now that you were back around Jeonghan, the nerves you were feeling all but melted away and didnât feel like you needed to look all done up just to lounge around the house.
âHope youâre hungry.â He announced proudly when you finally emerged, setting two beer bottles on the table with a spread of take out. He wasnât looking your way. âYou took so long I managed to make us a feast.â
âMake us a feast huh?â You laughed, crossing your arms as you take in the sight before you. âWanted to make sure it was authentically homemade by including the plastic containers?â
âI mean, only the best forâŠâ His words died on his tongue as he went to look at you, his hand slowly dropping to his side. There was a flicker of awe and desire that went across his face before he shook his head, and it was replaced with a smirk. ââŠyou...â
âI feel so honored,â You went to pull out of the chairs to sit, but Jeonghan had beat you to it by pulling it out for you instead, before taking a seat next to you, focusing on the containers. Grabbing both beers, you popped them open with ease and set them down in front of you both.
Dinner consisted of the two of you stuffing your faces, battling over the last pieces of meat, which he won by cheating at rock, paper, scissors. You drank several beers between you each while talking about work, friends, family, and life. You told him about meeting Celeste in college then later Soonyoung through her, the jewelry business that you and him thought up after too many bottles of wine, how it actually was doing well, and the coupleâs upcoming wedding.
While Jeonghan told you about college, the trouble him and their friends got into, updated you on his parents and sister, and about the pharmacy he works at with Joshua. You laughed over stories, and it felt like no time had passed between you.
âWhat about relationships?â Jeonghan asked, leaning back in his chair with a beer close to his lips, watching the way you swirled your beer around in the bottle. âAnyone special?â
âJust a vibrator named Owini with two Iâs.â This made Jeonghan raise a brow as he took a sip. âO.W.I.N.I. Orgasm when I need it.â
âClever.â He coughed out after nearly choking on his beer, laughing at the name.
âWhat about you? Anyone in your life?â It was your turn to watch him, trying to gauge his reaction. Jeonghan was leaning back against the chair, looking forward with a half-smile playing over his lips.
âNo one special. At least not for a long time.â He answered finally, finishing his beer with a smack to his lips. Licking them, he sat the beer down onto the table before standing and stretched. He ignores the confused expression on your face with his sudden movements, âLetâs get this all cleaned up bug and have a few more beers. Maybe watch a movie or something.â
You nod your head slowly, following suit to help throw away the empty containers and put away anything that you two didnât finish. When you were done, Jeonghan grabbed a few more beers from the fridge and met you at the sofa to find something to watch. Picking some random movie that you couldnât remember the name, both of you talked and laughed until all the beers were empty and Jeonghan was half asleep on the sofa.
**Day 2**
âOh, it is so good to see you sweetie!â Jeonghanâs mother wouldnât let go of you, hugging you tightly as if you were going to disappear on her if she did. The next day the two of you had gone to his parentsâ for lunch on his motherâs insistence, âI missed you, my dear.â
âI missed you too,â You answered, giving Jeonghan a âsave meâ look when she didnât let go, only for him he didnât come to save you, instead just watched with mild amusement from his place against the kitchen counter. Releasing you from the hug, she grasped your shoulders to look at you, making you turn your gaze back to her.
âYou should not stay away so long,â She scolded, leaning forward like she was revealing a secret, âOur Hanni has not been the same since the last time you left.â
âOhâŠâ You let out a nervous laugh, looking back toward Jeonghan with a questioning gaze, but he was no longer looking at you. Instead, he was staring warning daggers into his motherâs back. It reminded you how he wouldnât look at you the previous night either, but before you could say anything further, you were being lead to a table full of food.
âSit, sit. I hope you are hungry, I made all of your favorites.â You were then gently pushed into a seat, with Jeonghan following and took a seat next to you, âOh goodness, I forgot drinks. Let me grab those.â
âI told her not to do all this, but she insisted,â Jeonghan had muttered so only you could hear.
âI believe it,â You responded back, leaning toward him with a raised brow, âWhat did she mean by you havenât been the same?â
âNothing, just missed my best friend is all,â He answered simply. For a brief moment you thought his gaze dropped to your lips before he looked away to speak with his mother. Changing the subject all together as well.
The rest of the visit had consisted of more catching up, with Jeonghanâs father and sister coming by to join in, but you were barely able to pay attention. You couldnât stop looking over toward Jeonghan, feeling that there was something more than âhe just missed his best friendâ. Like true Jeonghan fashion, he didnât give anything away.
There was a possibility that you might be looking too much into it, reminding yourself that before you left for college, the two of you were with each other every day, and were inseparable. Hell, every time you came home, you and Jeonghan would always be together. Then after your grandfather passed away, you just⊠stopped coming back.
It wasnât that you had wanted to stay away, it just was harder to come back now that both your grandparents were gone. It was hard to come back when you no longer would walk into the home you grew up to them, and life just kept getting into the way. Work ended up taking precedence since you and Soonyoung were focused on your jewelry company, finding the time off had grew harder, or whatever excuse you gave to make yourself feel better for not coming back.
You had known that it had affected Jeonghan, going from having his best friend every day to a few times a year to sparse messages and social media posts, but you didnât think that meant âhe hasnât been the sameâ.
After leaving the Yoonsâ, you went with him to run a few errands that heâd needed to run, and the entire time you still had his motherâs words playing in your head. Which he noticed, but like him, you wouldnât give anything away, giving the excuse you were just in a food coma.
âI donât believe you, just so you know.â He told you, pushing up his sunglasses with one finger while his other hand rested on the steering wheel. Casting a glance toward you, he noticed that you were looking out the passenger window. âYou can keep your secrets for now, but I will get them out of you. I always do.â
âI can say the same for you.â You chirped back, your eyes on the different buildings passing by, taking in the different buildings. Some familiar, some different. You could hear him let out a breathy laugh. âYou have your secrets, and I have mine. If I have to spill so will you.â
âTouche, bug.â
Once back to Jeonghanâs, you disappeared into your room to answer some emails and make a few calls for work. You may have been on a trip, but that didnât mean that you were truly on vacation, and the workload never ends. Soonyoung was a great business partner and assured you that he had it all handled so you can enjoy your time away (since you would be doing the same when he and Celeste went on their honeymoon), but you needed a bit of a distraction.
âYou hungry?â Jeonghan had asked at one point, knocking at your door as he opened it. A smile playing over his lips seeing you sitting cross legged on your bed, laptop open in front of you. You had changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and a baggy sweater, your hair pulled back out of your face (save for a strand that wouldnât stay) and look of concentration on your face.
You didnât hear the hitch in his breath when you looked up at him, that look of concentration melt away to a small smile as you shook your head.
âIâm still full from that feast your mom made us,â You answered with a laugh, looking back to the laptop and to the email you had been working on. âIâm almost done here, just need to send off a few more emails, and then call Soonyoung regarding a large order of smokey quartz for our Smokey collection. I shouldnât be too much longer.â
âYou do know the whole point of this trip was to also not worry about work?â Jeonghan teased, making his way to the bed and flopped down onto the empty space next to you. Rolling onto his side, he looked up at you with his dark round eyes, shining with mischief with his hand inching toward the laptop to shut. Which you reached out and took with yours, holding it as you placed it back onto the bed. Making him pout.
âI am almost done, I promise.â You told him, not expecting the sudden urge to lean forward to kiss the pout he was sporting, nor the way you were still holding his hand. Or that he had adjusted the hold so that your fingers were laced together.
âWell, when youâre done, Iâll be right here.â He responded, finally letting go of your hand to roll onto his back, pulling his phone out to scroll. You raised your brow at him, he didnât even look your way when he added, âDonât look at me like that. Iâm lonely out there and youâre in here working.â
âPrice to pay on owning your own business.â
Though you did manage to get some work done, you couldnât really concentrate with Jeonghan lying next to you, now fast asleep with his phone resting face down on his chest. The soft clicking of your fingers against the keys had lulled him into a sleep and you found yourself watching him several times. Taking in the way he still looked like the boy you had grown up with, only older. Thick lashes kissing his skin, skin still smooth but with the hints of age coming through. The lips that were pouting at you earlier, soft and plush looking, partially open with a soft snore leaving him. He looked peaceful, he looked breathtaking, he looked like he was where he was meant to be. Next to you. Your Jeonghan.
Your heart fluttered at this notion, the words your Jeonghan felt different even in your head. Or was it always this way and you just ignored it since he was your best friend.
When you finished your emails and came time to call Soonyoung, you chose to take it outside to not disturb the sleeping man next to you. You also wanted to enjoy the evening weather, finding yourself sitting on the step of the shed to take your call and maybe clear your head some.
The shed wasnât the same, but the memories were still there when you sat down on the newer wood. The years you and Jeonghan spent in the old rickety building that once stood there, doing things that looking back neither of you had any business doing as teenagers. Drinking, smoking, and everything else that came with being rebellious teens and too much freedom to do it all.
It shaped who you both were as adults, and still a part of who you were. Even if you tried to run away.
âThere you are.â Jeonghanâs tired voice had pulled you from your thoughts and tore your gaze from a patch in the grass to him. His face slightly puffy from sleep, and a yawn escaping him as he made his way to you before flashing you a lazy half grin. âWas wondering where you went.â
âI had to call Soonyoung and you were snoring. I didnât want to wake you or have him questioning if I was next to a walrus.â You teased, unable to stop the corners up your lips to twitch up, earning a chuckle from the slender man.
âSo, kind of you.â He muttered reaching you, leaning against the wall of the shed. The sun had already dropped past the horizon, but there was still a glow to the yard, emphasizing the shadows and adding a hauntingly beautiful look to the spring evening. âClocked out now?â
âIâm always clocked in.â This made him chuckle, before slipping into his pocket to pull out a lighter and a joint. With the rolled herb between his lips, he lit it with the lighter. Taking a deep inhale, you watched him blow the smoke out. Looking your way, he offered it.
âYou still smoke?â He asked, and you looked at the joint then back to his face. A brow raised, âVernon managed to find some for me. I havenât smoked since the last time you were hereâŠâ
âI actually quit myself,â You told him reaching out to take the burning herb and took a hit of it. The paper was damp from his lips, and the smoke felt harsher than it had in the past, making you cough out the cloud of smoke instead of inhaling it. You managed to take another pull from it, filling your lung with the herbal smoke. Allowing the head change take effect.
A silence followed, just the two of you passing the joint between you. Leaning back, your eyes went up toward the sky to take in the darkening sky as the stars start to appear. While Jeonghan just watched you.
âWhat did you mom mean?â You asked softly, after a few minutes of feeling his gaze and the joint passing between you. Looking down at the nearly finished joint, now a roach at this point, flicking some ash handing off it. âHow werenât you the same?â
âWere you?â He returned your question with one of his own, reaching for what was left of the joint. You let out a scoff.
âOf course I wasnât. I lost both my grandparents within a year of each other, had to watch my uncle stick that stupid for sale sign in the ground before the dirt settle so he could pay his debtsâŠâ You waved your hand in the air at nothing, before dropping it into your lap. Pushing your tongue into your cheek, you continued. âI was hurting, I was angry at my uncle, I felt like I had nothing here that was mine anymore, and I just wanted to run away.â You took a breath, closing your eyes to hold back the angry tears that were prickling behind them. Remembering that feeling ruined your high. âI left already not the same, but how were you?â
Jeonghan didnât respond for a moment, the flick of the lighter making you look toward him to find that a second joint appeared and was lighting it. He took a quick inhale of the sweet herb, before handing it to you.
âYou need this more than I do,â He muttered as you took it, making you tempted to throw it at him and tell him to go fuck himself, but you stopped yourself. He looked up toward the sky, crossing his arms and you took in how he looked. His baggy jeans, and a shirt that had enough room for the both of you, hair sticking up from sleeping in your bed, and a pair of wired glasses. Ones he had to of thrown on after waking up.
You were slow to take a hit of the herb, watching him carefully.
âYou had me.â He finally said, not answering your question. It shouldâve infuriated you and call him out if you didnât look so confused. Licking his lips, he looked at you before repeating himself. âYou had me here still. I thought I was home for you too.â
Maybe he was answering after all, in his own cryptic way.
âYou were⊠you areâŠâ You told him, before sighing, âI donât regret how long Iâve been gone, but I do regret not keeping in touch better with you. I shouldâve tried better for that.â
âMaybe, but youâre here now.â Jeonghan leaned forward and took the joint from you. âI plan to make sure you remember that youâre home with me.â
You watched as the joint pressed between his lips, the way his eyes closed slightly as he took a hit, unable to tear your gaze away. Slowly his eyes opened and you could see there was a sign of mischief there. Hiding away the vulnerableness that heâd been displaying. You watch the way his own gaze dropped to your lips then back to your eyes, blowing the smoke gently from the side of his mouth.
âWhy do I feel like you are trying to make me fall in love with you?â You asked, meaning for it to be a tease but it came out breathier then you meant. Part of you thinking he might kiss you, but instead he let out a laugh, leaning back against the shed wall. Like nothing happened.
âWho knows, maybe I am.â
**Day 3**
To say you didnât really do anything was a bit of an understatement. There has been no plans for the day, aside from the plans to meet friends later, so you just laid around. Collecting your energy for a night out drinking and spending time with old friends. Well, at this point they felt more like Jeonghanâs friends rather than your own, but he had insisted that wasnât the case. That everyone missed you and were excited to see you again.
Jeonghan also continued on the day like the previous night didnât happen, as if he didnât look at you like he wanted to kiss you, or âjokeâ about you falling in love with him. He just laid around with you, bugging you at random times about how bored he was, but wouldnât get up to do anything. He would whine about how warm you were, but he seemed to scoot closer instead of away.
He would random poke you if you werenât paying attention to him, complain about anything you turned on, but refused to choose anything. And the entire time used his pouty voice if you snapped at him.
 âThatâs it!â You growled out, grabbing the hand that attempted to pull a strand of hair falling into your face, distracting you so his other hand could tickle at your side. With his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your tank that had ridden up, making you jolt and grab that hand as well. Wrestling to get him to stop.
Youâd forgotten that Jeonghan was a lot stronger than he looked, and could easily break your hold, but instead he was letting you think you were overpowering him. Filling the room with laugher, and in your wrestle, you found yourself straddling him.
Then you both froze, realizing how close you were. The tips of your noses brushing, both breathing heavy from the exertion, eyes locked with a new emotion coursing through you. Deeper than desire. Your hold then loosened on his wrists.
Now this wasnât the first time you had ended up like this, you had many times in the past wrestling with each other. Youâd done it since you were kids, with it always ending with you both laughing and unable to keep annoying the other.
This timeâŠthis time it was all different.
Your name fell from his lips before you were kissing him, which Jeonghan didnât hesitate to return. His hands dropped down to your waist, pulling you closer until your chest was flushed against each other. A whimper left you at the desperation that flooded him, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip, wanting moreâwhich you willing gave him.
His lips felt like heaven against yours, and the way his tongue teased yours it left you needing more of him. More and more. Your fingers pushing through his soft strands, while his dug into your hips to pulling them down to grind on him. Feeling him already hardening underneath the soft grey fabric of his sweats, making you grow hot with need and dampen your underwear.
Then you broke from the kiss, staring at your best friend in shock while he stared at you with desperate need in his heavy lidded eyes. His bottom lip swollen from your kiss, hands still holding onto your hips like a vice, and his arousal pressing against you. With your own body ablaze with the same need right down to your core.
âIâŠâ You scrambled off him to stand, âI⊠we shouldnât have done that. Iâm sorry⊠I⊠I need to get ready for tonight.â
Before Jeonghan could answer or stop you, you were already rushing to your room. Slamming the door behind you as you went, leaving him to stare at the space where you had been standing. Licking his lips, he slammed his fist onto the sofa cushion in frustration but stopped the frustrated groan that wanted to escape. Standing, he took off toward his room.
The ordered ride to the bar was an awkward one, with neither of you would speak or look at each other. You on one side of the backseat, playing with the pockets of your cargo pants before readjusting your tank and cardigan, the fabric not feeling like they fit right. While Jeonghan sat on the other side, looking out the window while his own hands were balled into fists on his lap.
The kiss hung between you, leaving you unsure how to approach it while Jeonghan was just unreadable. Thereâd been moments you thought he was angry with you, others he seemed frustrated, and then finally he appearedâŠsad. It ate at you, making it even harder to find the words.
The sound that erupted from the group when you entered the bar was almost deafening, and making others look your way. You were then showered with hugs, first by the girls and followed by Seungcheol, Vernon, and Joshua. Jeonghan had disappeared to the bar, leaving you to greet everyone.
âItâs been way to long,â Eunji couldnât stop saying, hugging you for what felt like the nth time, âI thought you werenât ever coming back.â
âNo need to explain to us. We understand.â It was Vernon who spoke up, a finger wrapped through a hoop of Eunjiâs pants, keeping her in place. âWhat matters is that youâre back.â
âAnd me missing you all matters too, ya know?â You pointed out with a teasing smile, when a cold glass of beer was pushed into your hands, making you look up to see Jeonghan had rejoined the group. He didnât look at you, instead moving to Seungcheol and Joshua, leaving the others to surround you. Looking down at the beer, you hoped that your friends didnât pick up the tension between you. Which by the silence and looks everyone was giving each other, you knew better.
âI see one thing hasnât changed,â Minnie had murmured into your ear, taking the beer so she could get an actual hug from you, âWe are going to be talking about this.â
As the night went on, the tension between you and Jeonghan had loosened with him eventually finding his way back to your side. Arm thrown over your shoulder, like he hadnât been giving you the cold shoulder since running from him and the kiss you shared, as he talked and laughed with everyone. Poking, teasing, and smiling at you like you hadnât just rejected him in one of the worst ways possible.
It had helped you relax outwardly, joining in with the talking, teasing, even leaning into him and his touch. It was easy to do, even with the tension burning between you, it was easy to lean into his warmth like he would you. Except inwardly, you had a war raging on. One that involved the very man you were leaning into.
âIâm going for a cigarette.â Minnie announced, lifting Seungcheolâs hand off her knee to stand, grabbing her designer bag in the process, âWhoâs coming with me?â
âI will,â Eunji practically jumped out of her seat, looking around the table for anyone else, both of them stopping briefly on you and Lily, Joshuaâs wife. Subtly hinting that you were to join them.
âI have to pass. I been trying to quit, and donât want to be tempted, sorry.â Lily answered, sipping at the bright blue cocktail she had ordered.
âNever apologize for that. You got more will power than I do,â Minnie waved her hand, her eyes going back to you, âAnyone else?â
âIâll go,â You announce, standing with Jeonghanâs arm falling from your shoulder as you did. Making him look at you with a confused expression, âJust need a bit of fresh air. Iâll be back.â
You barely make it out of the bar before you were being cornered by the two women.
âOkay, spill.â Eunji demanded as Minnie pulled out a pack of cigarettes, grabbing two and a lighter from the box. One for each woman.
âWhat are you talking about?â You attempted to feign ignorance, but it was clear the two didnât buy it. The three of you were very close growing up, they witnessed how you and Jeonghan were, and still knew you better than you realized.
âEither one of three things is going on here. You two either have nothing to talk about, and itâs awkward as shitâŠâ Minnie responded, placing the cigarette to her lips and lit it.
âWhich is impossible with you two,â Eunji chimed in, taking the lighter from Minnie to light her own. âNo matter how many years have passed.â
âYou got into a stupid fight over something like the color of his socks, orâŠâ Minnie walked closer, holding the cigarette out enough so the smoke wasnât hitting your face, taking in how you crossed your arms and looked away. Leaning in, it felt like the last one was more of a secret, âSomething happened between the two of youâŠâ
âAnd you were the one to freak out.â Eunji finished for her, âAnd now itâs awkward.â
âWhy would it be me?â
âBecause itâs always you.â Vernonâs voice popped up behind you, causing the three of you to jump. He casually walks past you to Eunji, taking his cigarette in the process to take a drag, âI had a feeling they were doing that weird best friend gang up thing.â
âI donât know what you are talking about.â You answer, feeling your cheeks starting to burn.
âThey kissed,â Vernon took another long drag of the nicotine stick, causing your jaw to drop opened, âJeonghan told us in there.â
âOf course he did,â You muttered, watching the way Eunji and Minnie were ready to start jumping for joy.
âI didnât run, I didnât even leave the house.â You tried to defend yourself while your two friends excitement started to deflate.
âNo, but you locked yourself in your room.â It was times like this that Vernon made you wonder how easy it was to get away with murder. Eunji will be able to find love again, she can move on, and you could disappear. Change your name, live in a small cottage in the middle of nowhere.
âUgh,â Eunji let out a groan, dropping her head back and shoulders down in frustration. While Minnie could only stare at you, gaze unreadable as she pressed her cigarette to her lips, with one arm crossed her midsection.
âWhat?â You asked, your own frustration started to bubble over as it slowly started to occur to you that your friends knew something that you didnât know. Something that Jeonghan clearly was aware of, but not you. Something about you and him. âI kissed him, yes. We were wrestling and it just happened, but it shouldnât have. It just made things awkward and could just ruin our friendship.â You didnât mention how much you wanted to do it again but couldnât risk losing him for good. âWhat is with this âfinallyâ shit, anyways? Like shouldnât you guys be worried that this could ruin our already fragile friendship.â
There was a silence as the three looked at each other. Like it dawned on them that you really didnât know.
âYou really donât know?â It was Minnie who asked, taking another long drag as she moved her gaze to you again, followed by the couple behind her.
âKnow what Min?â You sighed, dropping your arms to your sides, but there was something deep in you that told you that you already knew. Something that was sitting inside you for years, and you refused to acknowledge it, because it was easier than to face it.
There was a beat of silence between the four of them, with Eunji focused on her cigarette, Minnie watching you with an almost pitied look, and Vernon pushing his tongue into his cheek. Each of them waiting for the other to either come out with it, or for it to finally dawn on you. For you to finally see it.
âThat heâs in love with youâŠâ It was Vernon who said it, since neither of the girls spoke up, then his attention went to Minnie, âYou think I can get my own smoke?â
You stood there in absolute silence while a pack of cigarettes exchanged hands, staring at your friends. It wasnât that you had needed to process this, it wasnât that at all. Instead, the words reached into your chest, into your heart and pulled out something you already known. Something he was trying to tell you, that heâs been trying to tell you.
âYou guys are insane,â You finally spoke, looking away from them, pulling your cardigan around you when a cool breeze hit. âJeonghan loves me, but heâs not in love with me.â
âAre you saying that to convince us, or convince yourself?â Minnie then asked, taking the pack back, her voice soft and understanding. You didnât answer, still not looking at her, Vernon or Eunji, not trusting yourself to. âDid Jeonghan tell you what his parents condition was when they helped him buy that house?â
âNoâŠâ You had asked Jeonghan at least twice what this condition was, but he wouldnât answer and would change the subject. Instead of pushing though, you just let him change it, so you didnât have to actually hear it.
âThe condition was that he settle downs like the rest of us,â She continued, and you could feel your mouth go dry, make your stomach churn uncomfortably. Unsure if it was from the alcohol, hearing all this, or both, âOr he would have to pay them back every penny.â
This made you look up to see her smiling at you, with it being as soft as her voice. Minnie flicked the ash off the near finished cigarette, your friends letting you take in what you were being told.
âWhat does that have to do with me, though?â You asked, feeling like you already knew the answer without it having to be said.
âBecause.â Dropping the cigarette onto the ground, the taller woman hooked your arm with hers to walk back to the bar. Leaving Vernon and Eunji to finish their own smokes, âFor him, the condition wasnât just anyone, because to him, it only would be you.â
Youâd barely made it back into the bar before Jeonghan had let out an overexaggerated yawn as he announced that he was going to order a ride home. This earned a chorus of groans from everyone, except for you. Your brain was already a buzz from the conversations outside, with the only thing you could do was stare at him. The bill of his hat pulled low, with it and his hair falling over his eyes. There was a deep frown playing over his lips, and body language reading that he no longer wanted to be there.
âYou staying?â He asked you, making you blink out of your thoughts, already having his phone out to get a ride ordered. Several pairs of eyes turn to you, waiting for your response. Minnie had found her place back next to Seungcheol, leaning into her boyfriend, watching you with a knowing gaze.
Telling you to go with him.
âNah, Iâm getting tired myself.â You answered, letting out a chuckle, âI honestly am surprised I managed as long as I have. Iâve traded a night out at the bar with a bottle of wine at home, and most times in bed.â
Jeonghan nodded, already having the ride ordered, and the group advanced on you. Hugging you tightly, telling you to keep in touch, and to visit more often. With Minnie hugging you a little longer than everyone.
âCall me tomorrow, okay?â She whispered in your ear, âIf you donât plan to return his feelings, then let him down gently.â
Neither of you said anything on the ride back to Jeonghanâs, but this time the silence felt different. It wasnât tense like it was on the way to the bar, it had shifted after being out for a few hours to something that you had a hard time describing. His tired silence, leaning back in the seat with his eyes out the window, watching everything pass by. One hand resting against his head while the other rested between you both.
Beckoning you to take it.
Except you didnât, with your own gaze looking out the car window as well. Vernon and Minnieâs words heavy in your head.
âHeâs in love with you.â
ââŠbecause to him, it only would be you.â
âIf you donât plan to return his feelings, then let him down gently.â
They left you with one of two choices by doing this. Finally face what was always between you and talk to Jeonghan, or you run away again. Get the earliest flight you can and leave before Jeonghan could wake up. Continue to run away. Destroy a lifelong friendship, one that you were meant to reconnect during your stay, because you were the coward.
You needed to make a choice. You needed to make one then.
âIâm going to head to bed, I am pretty tired,â Jeonghan announced once back, making sure the door was locked behind you before flicking his gaze to you. Taking you in, while he forced a smile to his lips and another beat of silence followed.
He was waiting for you to say something, anything. It was your chance, you either faced it or you ran away, but words failed you. They failed you in a way that never happened before with him, and it scared you.
âGoodnight, bug.â He whispered finally turning toward his room, nodding his head like he received his answer again. An answer to a question or a confession that he never said out loud.
It suddenly infuriated you.
âAre you in love with me?â You blurted out, causing Jeonghan to stop only a few steps away, watching the way his back straightened at the question. The accusation.
âYes, I am.â He answered without hesitation, turning to look at you. That forced smile turning into a sardonic smirk when your eyes widened at how easy it was for him to say it, âI am in love with you.â
âFor how long?â
âDoes it matter?â The question as simple.
âYesâŠnoâŠjust tell me.â You let out a frustrated sigh, shoulders dropping as you do.
âIâve loved you since we were children, even when you would pull my hair,â He let out a chuckle, crossing his arms, âBut realized I was in love with you when I had to watch you board that plane for school.â
âAnd why didnât you tell me?â
âBecause it was easier to watch you go not knowing than if you did.â Jeonghanâs voice was low, the words stripping everything away that he hid behind, letting you see the raw side of him. And he still held eye contact with you.
âAnd the condition with your parentsâŠâ
âI had no intention fulfilling it if it wasnât going to be you.â You noticed that he had started to close the distance that as originally there, pulling off his cap in the process so you could see his face better. Looking at you in a way he never had before, or that you noticed.
âWhy?â
âBecause no matter how I pictured my future, when it came to who I would spend my life withâŠâ Jeonghan was now in front of you, close enough that you could feel his breath against your face. His hand ghosting over your cheek. You couldnât move, you didnât want to move, you were scared to move, âItâs always you. Itâs always been you.â
âJeonghanâŠâ His name came out in a whisper, tears starting to fall down your cheek and that was when you felt the coolness of his hand cupping your cheek. His thumb wiping away a few away. âYouâre an asshole.â
A soft laugh left him, dropping his hand and taking a step back. Taking your comment as a rejection, but it wasnât. It was far from it. You finally found a name to what that missing piece was when it came to Jeonghan. Your best friend, the boy who would be waiting for you in that run down shed every day, the teen who would get in trouble with you, the young man who let you go even though there was an ache in both your chests, and the man standing before you.
All these versions of him were one thing to you. Your Jeonghan.
âYouâre an asshole for not telling me soonerâŠâ You pouted, grabbing the sleeves of his shirt to stop him, refusing to look away from him. His stupid, assholish, beautiful face.
âYeah?â Jeonghan countered back, inching closer to you, his eyes flicking to your mouth.
âYeah.â
He then kissed you, heated and hungry, like something inside him snapped; unable to hold back any longer. He had a taste of you earlier, and now that he had you again, he couldnât keep pretending. You returned the kiss with a fever, gripping at the sleeves of his shirt because if you didnât, heâd disappear.
His hand finding their place at your hips, squeezing them when you deepened the kiss, greedy to taste him again like you had earlier. This time with the notes of beer still lingering, but you were sure you were just the same. Releasing the sleeves of his shirt, you traced them over your shoulders and up his neck, earning a low groan from him when you gripped at the soft strands of his hair.
Hearing this sound sent a wave of heat down your belly, right to your core, your thighs squeezing slightly and enough for Jeonghan to notice. Making him pull away from your lips, reluctantly since he attempted to dive back in to reclaim them, only to stop himself.
âYouâll need to stop me now, because I have no intentions on it.â He said softly, willing to step away if you didnât want to. You laugh pushing him toward his bedroom, tripping over each other and pulling off clothes in the process. With your bra and top gone before you made it through his bedroom door.
His shirt following quickly after, giving way to a lean frame with smooth undefined muscles, but you could feel them under your touch. Your cargos off next, leaving you in a pair of grey lace underwear, and Jeonghan had twisted you so the he was the one guiding you to his bed. His mouth claiming yours right as you felt his bed hit the back of your knees, making you drop down onto it.
Looking up to see Jeonghan standing before you, his eyes roaming from your own down your body before returning to them. His expression one of disbelief, like he couldnât believe you were on his bed, half naked. And just for him.
âHanniâŠâ Anything you had to say was stopped by his kiss, more heated than any of the others you had shared.
Your hands and mouths touching and kissing anywhere and everywhere you could. His mouth teasing your breasts, sucking at the hardened peaks, while your hands ran over his body. Feeling his hardened cock over his pants before they too were gone. Followed by his boxers, and then your underwear.
âFuckâŠyour mouth is heaven,â He moaned out when you took his cock into your mouth, swallowing him down your throat eagerly, savoring the taste of him. With a few expert movements, Jeonghan had to pull back to stop from cumming down your throat and ending it all too soon. âWe are going to have to revisit this later.â
âButâŠâ Your words were swallowed up by his kiss, tongue claiming yours, pushing your back against the bed, his hips pushing your legs apart. Moaning at the feeling of his saliva slicked cock pressing against your own soaked cunt, rolling your hips up against his. Needing more of him.
When you felt two fingers tweak at one of your nipples, you roll him onto his back, straddling him. Grinding down onto him while one of your hands slip between you to grip his cock. With a gentle squeeze, Jeonghan broke from the kiss to drop his head back with a groan, moving both hands to your hips. The head of his cock catching at your entrance, making you both gasp.
Then you sank down onto him, a silent cry leaving you while Jeonghanâs eyes rolled at the way he stretched your gripping walls, until you were completely onto him. Only you didnât stay there long, not giving either of you the chance to adjust before you were moving. Planting your hands onto the bed, you lift your hips off him, leaving only the head of his cock in you before dropping down.
Jeonghanâs hands gripped onto your hips, his eyes glazed over from arousal and the sight of you. Seeing parts of you that he only imagined, your bare breasts bouncing with each movement of your hips, your mouth falling open in pleasure, right down to where your two were now connected. The feeling of your walls squeezing and gripping at him was better than any late night thoughts could compare.
He knew he wasnât going to last long, but he also didnât want this to ever end. There was no way he could ever go back after this, he wouldnât be able to go back to anything with you that didnât involve this. Didnât involve you being his.
âJeonghanâŠâ You whimpered, grinding down onto him to get more friction, feeling yourself winding tighter. The knot deep in your core threatening to snap. Then one of his hands slide from your hip to between your legs, pushing his finger up to tease your clit. âIâm closeâŠâ
âDo it, baby. Donât hold back.â He tried to play it cool with a smirk, but he was just as much of a whimpering mess like you are. Looking up at you like you were the only thing that ever mattered. You were the only thing that ever mattered to him.
âShit, ShitâŠâ You chanted, every muscle tightening as you came, âI love you, I love you.â
Then you were on your back, Jeonghan rolling you over without pulling out, taking over for you. Fucking into you with a vigor you never experienced from him.
âI love youâŠâ He whispered into your mouth, cupping your face, his own release following quickly after. Neither of you moved, staying connected as you came down from your highs, with him now pulling back to look at you. Your well kissed lips, your hair a mess from running your fingers through it, and your still glazed over eyes. A scene that made him fall even more in love. âPlease donât leave⊠stay⊠I canât let you go again.â
âJeonghanâŠâ You sigh, closing your eyes as you attempted to slip off him. Oversensitivity starting to take over, but he kept you there on top of him. âI have to thoughâŠâ That was when you felt his hands loosen on your hips, and the look on his face nearly broke you, but still a small smile graced your lips, âI mean⊠If I plan to move back, I got to get everything in orderâŠâ
âNo you donât,â He pouted, and you leaned forward to kiss him. Soft, promising. âYou can just start back over here⊠I am not letting you go.â
âThen I guess we need to buy you a plane ticket then.â You tease, brushing a strand of hair from his face. His stupid, assholish, beautiful face that youâve loved for years. âCause I do have to go back.â
âWeâll see about that,â He smirked, making you laugh. âI love you. Always you.â
Thank you so much for reading I seriously hope you all enjoyed this!
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