Eve Speiser

LSAD first year 🖤 digital portfolio 🖤 painting🖤 My project is about not knowing who I am and the attempt to figure that out by looking at my surroundings, my personal objects, my younger self and my interests.

[k00295251]

Gotta post more recent art because my first year stuff is embarrassing :/

[k00295251]

End of Brief

I wish I would've done more for this brief I wanted to do two more paintings but honestly I just ran out of energy at the end.

For displaying my work I put up some chains that I make out of can tabs and one of my necklaces that I made because making jewellery is one of my favourite things to do.

If I were to do this project again I would go larger scale and put more effort in consistently over time instead of working in short bursts.

I would also use different paint because I really just stayed in my gouache comfort zone and did acrylic and ink pieces during workshops.

I think I could've put a lot more effort and thought into this project than I did, I had other ideas but I didn't see them through. I feel like everything I made looks unfinished and doesn't make a statement about why I paint or who I am, I think I took the easy way out in a lot of these pieces and didn't take any risks. I wasn't very creative. I guess that is a reflection of my personality in a way.

I also turned down a lot of ideas that my friends suggested because I thought they were too out there or that they'd be too difficult for me to do, next time I will push myself out of my comfort zone more because if I did take inspiration from other people my project would be a lot more interesting to look at.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief - Week Five: Colour Study

Posted 29/04/24

This looks so rushed and messy, it was just a colour study that I did in around three hours so I'm trying not to be too annoyed at myself for not having clean enough lines or getting the strands of hair in.

The fabric in the back just didn't work, I should've tried harder. I put the shadows in first and then the highlights but it didn't turn out right so I just kept adding and blending but the fabric was draped in such a way that the pleats were very tight and distinct, I didn't portray that well at all.

The colours all blend together as well, it looks like underpainting rather than an actual finished piece.

[k00295251]

Artist Research - Sophie Pearson

29/04/24

Sophie Pearson is an American oil painter who primarily does self portraits. She paints realistic and "unflattering" images of herself to push back against diet culture and to work through her body image issues through the process.

She also paints from childhood photographs as a means to work through childhood trauma, erasing her father from the images and taking back control.

I really resonate with her work, I think painting as a form of catharsis is really beneficial and it's definitely the main reason I paint.

I also love her art style and use of colour and underpainting.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief - Week Five: Zine Workshop

Posted 28/04/24, done 21/04/24

The workshop didn't really go too well, I was going to do one about the styles of fashion I like, but I got stressed out about the speed at which it was moving and I wasn't really feeling the concept.

Later I redid it with paint. I painted the toys and teddy bears I have around my room. I like to collect dolls as one of my special interests, and I like cute things that I couldn't have when I was a kid. Teddy bears are one of the only things I like to stim with because I like the soft texture and fidget toys don't really work for me.

After I was diagnosed with autism when I turned 16 I started to come to terms with my disability and accepting the ways that help me regulate myself.

When I was a teenager I started to carry teddy bears with me when I went to places that stressed me out and overwhelmed my senses. Over the last two years I've become self conscious of the things I like and displaying my autistic traits again because they're childish and I don't want to be viewed as a child by my peers, but I think that's a lot of internalized ableism and there's nothing wrong with liking cute things and feeling comforted by them.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief - Week Four: Self Portraits

Posted 28/08/24, done 17-20/04/24

I painted myself now (20) and myself when I was 12.

I added some stickers and doodles to my 20 year old self to represent how I'm more open to my "childish" interests than when I was 12.

I had to grow up too fast when I was young and didn't get to experience childhood or teenagehood like my peers did, I've been told I look younger now than I did when I was 12 which doesn't sit right with me. I don't think the 12 year old me looked that old, the more years go by the more I realize how young I was.

I wanted to paint my younger self because I don't really know who I am, most of the time I still feel like I did at that age. So much time has passed I don't remember what I used to be like and I don't know what I'm like now either.

What I do know is that I wanted to go to art college when I was 12, and now I'm here. I know I liked art back then and I like art now, it's always been the thing I've done.

Both of these paintings are messy and weird I'm not a fan of them at all. I didn't do enough detail with my 12 year old self but you could be deep about it and say it's because the memory of my old self is fading away.

There's no fake deep explanation for why the other one looks messy, I just didn't do it well and the paint built up so much that I couldn't add more without activating the paint underneath so I threw in the towel.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief: Colour Study

Posted 24/04/24, done 16/04/24

During this workshop we painted fruit with acrylic paint. We put the fruit in these boxes with coloured paper to show the contrast between the colours and to see how you have to mix different colours to get the desired affect.

I can’t really explain colour theory out loud very well, it’s just something I get intuitively.

I didn’t wash my brushes properly so the colours are all muddy and I don’t like the way that came out. The perspective of the banana didn’t come out right either because I kept moving my head and forgetting which angle I was painting from so that’s something I need to work on.

I was very caught up in the fact that it didn’t look realistic.

[k00295251]

Artist Research - Marlene Dumas

Posted 28/04/24

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief: Gouache painting

Posted 24/04/24

I did another painting of my bedside table. I think the basic stuff people own and what they choose to keep close to them is a reflection of what their lives are like.

My bedside table has a lot of can tabs in it because I collect them to make chains, a lot of lipbalm, reusable makeup removal pads, medicine, inhalers and a shot glass.

The shot glass doesn't get used frequently like the other stuff does though.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief - Week Three: Ink Drawings

Posted 21/04/24, done 08/04/24

I did a few ink drawings of me (?)

I don’t really know what I look like and I didn’t use references and went from my fun sketching stylised way of drawing to how I think I probably look.

It was fun, I think this is as “large scale” as I’m comfortable with.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief: Gouache Paintings

Posted 21/04/24

This is a painting of what was on my bed one morning before college, yes very messy I know. But it’s a scene of real life and shows what kind of person I am. I did add the books because I thought that would look good, full disclosure.

I put up this shelf over the Easter holidays so I thought I’d paint that too. I like to collect monster high dolls as that’s one of my autistic special interests.

I’m not very happy with them because I feel like they aren’t accurate enough and that I could’ve done more, but these were one of those things I spend 6-8 hours on without stopping so when I try to go back to them I can’t get myself to finish it. That’s probably not a good way to go about things. I don’t think the quality of my paintings reflect the amount of time I spend on them though so that’s disappointing. The colours are very muddy too.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief: Collage

Posted 21/04/24

This brief is challenging because I don’t really know who I am or why I paint. I made a collage of things I like to start off with. I think the pieces of media one interacts with and the ways one presents themselves in the world says a lot about them. This is just the stuff I want to portray though not really the reality. I like dressing in a way that I haven’t in a while for various reasons, does that mean it’s not who I am anymore? Who knows. If a portrait is just a representation of the outside of a person, would I recognise or identify with what mine would be right now? I don’t think so.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief - Week Two: Studio Work Experimentation

Posted 21/04/24

I just messed around with large scale things that day. I didn’t really have any ideas of what to do so I drew a sketch with a huge marker but that wasn’t inspiring. I used a palette knife and a lot of black and white paint to make a textured painting of the contents of my bag because I figured that would say something about who I am, in a way that’s a portrait.

I don’t like using palette knives I haven’t gotten the hang of them yet and I was really displeased with everything I did that day. It just looks bad, it didn't even teach me anything because I just didn't figure out how to use the knife better or get detail with it even though it was large scale. Days like this are demotivating but I suppose you can't avoid them and giving up just because you make art that looks terrible isn't very smart. At least I know what not to do now.

It did give me a good idea for later though: painting scenes around my room at the house we just moved into, because things haven’t been put away properly yet and your belongings do say a lot about you.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief: Palette Knife Painting

12/03/24

Today we painted with palette knives, which was the first time I did something like that.

We made thumbnails of possible things to paint and used viewfinder cut outs to aid us with that.

I didn't realize that we weren't supposed to paint the background at first so pictured is my second attempt.

I found it very hard I don't really get how to put the paint on smoothly without warping the page, and getting detail right felt impossible. Maybe I needed to let it dry more and apply thin layers, like nail varnish, but I'm not sure so I'm excited to try again.

I'm not a fan of how this turned out, I'm not sure if it comes across as a reflection in a mirror on an easel, it all blends together too much. I think it'd be more effective in colour or with more values. Or if I was able to keep the three values separate (which I wasn't, they blended together a lot). I don't like that it's impasto in the mirror because the mirror is flat, the easel should be popping out the most.

[k00295251]

Why do we Paint Brief- Life Painting Workshop

Posted 12/03/24, done 11/03/24

Today was the first day of the painting discipline, and the group I was in started off with life painting.

I enjoyed this class a lot more than the last one I did, we experimented with light and shadow and the figure was secondary to the shadow cast.

Sylvia encouraged me to paint the model impasto to show that he is a part of our world and not flat like the shadow and walls.

I was unsure about it because I didn't think I could get the detail, especially with a big brush, but she was right because from far away it does look like a figure.

I was more happy with this painting than I was with my one from the movement brief but I think the tones on the floor blend in with the wall and the perspective just doesn't seem right. I don't know if I like the way I did the lighting either, it's very blocky.

I liked doing the crit because we got to see all the paintings up together and see how everyone approached the same task differently. Everyone did really well and I think the ways we portrayed light and dark and how we illustrated the shadow differently, when combined together, paint a really good picture of what the reference was like.

After the crit we also made little sculpture and brainstormed ideas for this brief in groups, and did a bit of performance art, but I didn't take any pictures of that unfortunately.

[k00295251]

Artist statement - Movement

[k00295251]

Movement: Development of Project - Recap

01/03/24