ditto

do you want somebody?   like i want somebody.

[kaidango]

fandomless original character. a local marketing manager of a game company (currently trying to pursue his master degree and decided to become a professor). tall, tired, emotionally constipated, and a fool in love with a certain strawberry boy. warning: a private rp blog, do not follow.

[oreoichi]

"Alright, I'm back, bitc-"

"Zzzz..."

[ part one...? ]

[kaidango]

Kaida is definitely NOT judging him right now

[kaidango]

when you're in down bad competition and your opponent is kaida. nothing to see here but kaida on his way to a business trip and already missing his probably half dead husband, reo, who is rushing for that manga deadline and it's not even like an hour after they part way from their apartment this morning — @oreoichi

[oreoichi]

Because of work, Reo hardly had the time to check how much time had passed since they started this long distance relationship of theirs. It wasn't like they weren't in each other's life for a decade before. This was something they had to get used to, as much as it was a drastic change yet again after getting back together.

It was only actually thanks to the workload that Reo had that managed him from wallowing into misery. In fact, Kaida's messages or video calls kept him sane when he needed to keep himself grounded the most. Not to mention it was a no-brainer that being in love had its perks for working on a shoujo manga that was like a little sibling to the original manga he loved since forever.

Speaking of being in love, Reo didn't hesitate to walk towards Kaida as the older male did. As he felt the other's arms wrap around him, the warmth, happiness and contentment was instant. "Welcome back, Haru-sama."

He couldn't wait to hear his voice also saying "I'm home" as soon as they were back to their apartment. It would ensure that what Reo was living in was reality and not one of his fantasies whenever he got too lonely without the other's presence.

Looking up, he wore a smile on his face, reaching up to pinch his cheek. "Looks like someone had a good sleep as usual. Life can be so unfair sometimes. I even had to put on some make-up so I don't look like a zombie after meetin' my smokin' hot boyfriend after what felt like forever."

[kaidango]

Kaida hums, low and fond, as Reo pinches his cheek. He leans into it without complaint, like he's memorizing every touch all over again. He missed this. The simple act of ridiculousness of his lover yet at the same time, just as warm and loving. 

"Mm, I was just following orders, wasn't I?" his eyes crinkled with the start of a smile. "Rest well, eat properly, don't let yourself burn out, Kaida. The Reo Ten Commandments."

The space between them still feels surreal—after months of calls and time zones and falling asleep with a cold pillow, Reo is here. Real. Warm. So close Kaida can count every beauty mark he's missed. "I missed you," he says, quietly. "More than I wanted to admit."

Kaida's gaze lingers, heavy with everything he's never been good at saying out loud. He reaches up, slow, like testing if Reo might disappear again the moment he touches him. His hand settles against Reo's cheek—callused palm against warm skin, thumb brushing just under the eye.

For a beat, he just holds him there.

Then he leans in.

It's not rushed. There's no urgency, no fire. Just something steady and deep, like exhaling after holding your breath too long. His lips find Reo's, gentle but unshaking. It tastes faintly of coffee and long travel days, mixed with the soft sweetness of something familiar—like coming home to something he never wanted to leave in the first place.

The kiss is quiet, but it says more than anything Kaida could manage right now. His fingers curl lightly behind Reo's neck, pulling him a little closer like he's still afraid to let go.

And for once, Kaida lets himself feel it fully—the warmth, the relief, the weight of missing someone so deeply it had carved out space inside his chest, now filled again.

He stays like that a moment longer, breathing him in, anchoring himself.

Here. Real. Home.

To hell with anything that clouding his mind minutes ago, he missed him so much it hurt.

When Kaida finally pulls back, just barely, their breaths still mingling in the narrow space between them, his eyes don't leave Reo's for even a second. As if grounding himself again. As if to say, you're really here. Then—without warning—his arms wrap around Reo in a solid, almost desperate embrace.

He tucks his chin against the side of Reo's head, holding him so tightly their hearts could beat in sync. His grip is firm, like he's trying to press the distance between them out of existence. Reo fits there—under his chin, against his chest—like he never left.

And Kaida doesn't speak loud. Doesn't need to.

"I missed you," he breathes, barely above a whisper. His voice is a little rough, a little wet at the edges. "I'm home, Ryuuichi."

He says it again, and again, like a quiet litany. Like if he says it enough, it'll undo all the nights spent apart. Like the words alone might etch themselves into Reo's skin so he'll never forget just how much he's loved.

Kaida just holds him there, eyes closed, face buried in the warmth of someone who chose to stay. And for the first time in a long while, he lets his walls drop completely.

Because Reo is his home. And he's not letting go.

[kaidango]

It’s still winter in Japan, and everything has gone smoothly, his flight from the UK, the surprisingly short queue at immigration. By all accounts, today should be an easy day to categorize as good. Supposedly, that is.

But his mind mirrors the sky above—overcast, restless, a muted shade of grey that refuses to settle. The offer lingers at the edges of his thoughts, as persistent as ever. What can he say? He is a man with ambitions, a young man still brimming with the energy to grow, to chase the future ahead of him. But he is also a lover boy with a heart full of love, no longer full of wounds.

And that much becomes undeniable when he steps past the arrival gate and sees Reo waiting. The hesitation weighing his chest lightens, if only for a moment. His feet carry him forward before he even thinks, and then he’s smiling small, fleeting, but real. His hand lifts in a wave, and the next thing he knows, he’s pulled into a familiar warmth. He exhales, his arms tightening around Reo, and just for now, he lets himself be here.

That’s right. Now isn’t the time to think about it not when graduation is just around the corner, not when Reo is right before his eyes. Within reach. A smile blooms on his face, soft and fleeting, like the first signs of spring breaking through winter’s grasp. A rare sight, after all the days they’ve spent apart.

"Hello, Ryuuichi. I'm back."

"I miss you so much."

@oreoichi

[kaidango]

How can two people be so different, yet so alike? Reo was, and still is, exciting, talkative, and most importantly, lovable. Kaida is certain Reo doesn’t fully grasp just how deeply his presence is cherished. It’s been years since their break-up, and a while now since they painstakingly pieced their relationship back together. The cracks left by their past selves have been filled, sprouting into a field of wildflowers so vivid and alive that Kaida can’t help but marvel every time he looks at Reo.

The way his smile still feels familiar yet carries a newfound light; how he stubbornly stands his ground but always spares a moment to consider Kaida’s perspective. The way he responds to messages with a warmth that lingers or how he carries himself with a quiet confidence that Kaida admires more than he can admit.

All those old wounds, once jagged and deep, are now cradled in the embrace of soft petals. The cracks have disappeared beneath the bloom, transforming into something unrecognizably beautiful. And yet, Kaida feels unsure, hesitant. How does one tend to a garden of love when all he’s known of love before was its eventual ruin?

But this one—this love—he wants to nurture. He must. He refuses to let it wither.

He’s been good this year, hasn’t he? Surely Santa would grant him a gift worth cherishing. And truly, what greater gift could there be than this: securing a flight home for the winter holiday, arriving on Christmas Eve, just as snowflakes pirouette through the December air. Each step through the city leads him closer, the cold wind brushing against his cheeks with a teasing chill, reminding him he’s alive—and that he’s heading home.

Reo will likely be asleep at this hour, his deadlines surely keeping him busy. Writing is no easy feat, after all. It’s a different world entirely from the marketing job he once had. Kaida smiles at the thought, knowing how Reo has embraced this challenge with the same fierce determination that Kaida fell in love with so many years ago.

It hasn’t even been a full year since Kaida left for his studies, and though he’s made memories and enjoyed the adventure, there’s a hollow space within him. One that only Reo can fill.

Tonight, that emptiness will finally ease.

The keypad blinks faintly in the winter dusk, the cold biting at Kaida’s fingertips as he punches in the familiar code. The soft beep is a welcome sound, a quiet reminder that some things don’t change, even when everything else seems to. The door clicks open, and the warmth of the apartment spills out to greet him, carrying with it the faint scent of strawberries and something herbal—tea, perhaps.

Kaida steps inside, careful to close the door softly behind him. The apartment feels like a moment frozen in time, untouched and waiting. He stands in the entryway for a beat longer than he should, taking in the quiet hum of the heater, the faint glow spilling from the kotatsu lamp into the darkened room.

"I'm home," he whispers into the stillness, his voice barely louder than a sigh.

His eyes drift to the little cage by the window, where Yuki, his cockatiel, is nestled. The bird stirs, tilting its head sleepily at him before letting out a soft chirp. Kaida crosses the room, crouching beside the cage.

"Yuki," he murmurs, his lips curving into a small, lopsided smile. "Missed me?"

The cockatiel fluffs its feathers, its sleepy chirp almost accusatory, as if to say you were gone too long. Kaida chuckles, brushing a finger gently against the cage bars before standing.

The kotatsu draws his attention next, a pool of warmth and light in the otherwise quiet apartment. Draped against its edge, wrapped in a blanket that’s slipping dangerously low, is Reo. His hair is tousled, a streak of light catching the soft red hues that Kaida used to tease him for. His face is serene, his breathing even and unhurried, like the rhythm of an old love song.

Kaida sets his bag down quietly, padding across the room with deliberate care. The weight of months apart settles in his chest, but it’s a weight that feels almost sweet now, knowing it’s about to lift.

He kneels beside the kotatsu, taking in every detail of Reo’s sleeping face—the soft curve of his lips, the faint crease between his brows that never quite disappears. Slowly, Kaida leans forward, his hands coming to rest lightly on Reo’s shoulders as he lowers himself onto him with a deliberate tenderness.

"Reo," he whispers, the name like a secret he’s been holding too long. "I’m home."

Reo stirs, his brow furrowing slightly as he blinks awake. His gaze is bleary, unfocused for a moment before clarity dawns.

"Kaida?" His voice is thick with sleep, a thread of disbelief woven into it.

Kaida smiles, his forehead brushing lightly against Reo’s. "Merry Christmas," he whispers, the words as soft as the snow falling silently outside.

Reo blinks again, a slow smile spreading across his face, warm and unguarded. "You idiot," he murmurs, his arms looping around Kaida’s back, pulling him close. “Welcome home.”

The world seems to pause, the weight of their shared history falling away in the quiet of this moment. For the first time in months, the emptiness Kaida has carried feels distant, replaced by the warmth of the boy beneath him—the boy who has always, somehow, been his home.

@oreoichi, merikuriiiiiiii

[kaidango]

it is the first week of school, it is so weird to be back to school -of all anything else, he can barely eat anything and everything taste awful. to the tongue, to the stomach, to the mind and to the heart. he misses something warm. he barely have time to cook, just something fast and sad looking thing he got from the convenience store. he misses reo. that's right, it's been a week without reo now that they are miles away.

he wishes to be able to hug him, that will fill his stomach just enough than any other food. rather than homesick, he is a bit lovesick. gross.

he should try to send a message to reo.

( line ) test

it's the first time he is using this messanger app. it's necessary and he only downloaded to chat with ( @oreoichi ) and no one else.

( line ) are you sleeping?

[kaidango]

it's finally come. the day. that day.

ready or not, they've been preparing themselves for this day. not just kaida, but reo too, for many different reasons that collide into one goal. the air is different, the season has changed, the room temperature, the way their clothes are folded but now less than there was, quiet become quieter. it's early and too early even but kaida still wake up the earliest.

he should make something for them.

something nutricious for reo, he has been working hard for himself and kaida as well. for this day and the next until he come back.

the only sound made is from kaida and the sound of egg being friend, the sound of bread that being toasted, freshly opened yogurt and something fresh and nice to the tongue.

then another sound made from kaida, and his bags. and his wallet. and his passport.

everything is in place and ready to go.

"reo, wake up. it's almost time before my departure," he whispers and pats his lover by the bed, sleeping soundlessly.

from today onwards, he is no longer going to the same road he always take to work. he is no longer going to prepare for meetings with clients, no longer have to achieved something for the month for the company.

from today onwards, he is going to be kaida haru. a student, a person, someone he doesn't even know. someone who doesn't even know whether this is a good decision or not but it's still a decision.

from today onwards, he is not going to wake up by reo sides for a while. he is not going to hear his laughter, watch how his skin turn red when he is embarrassed, or angry, or when he kissed him by the neck.

he is still going to see reo though, through the different time and through his phone and laptop. it's the same but feel different. he is no longer going to smell the scent of reo. feel his warmth. feel his silly presence for a while.

a while is a long time still. they've parted way a little bit too long for his liking and now they are going to part ways again even if this time the ending is different.

he has so many things to be thankful for to reo.

for staying around with the pathetic him, for loving him with all the flaws he carry and have, for giving him another chance in everything. heart of gold and more, is what reo is.

from today and forwards, he is going to build another future for himself. just like reo. he is going to achieve something that truly make him happy.

this time.

surely this time.

he will be happy.

this time, he will proudly be himself.

this time, he will proudly be someone worthy of mishiba ryuuichi.

"let's have a proper breakfast today, reo."

[oreoichi]

In all the time he had known Kaida, the last thing he expected was a strange and confusing answer. "Huh? What do ya mean by that? Don't fuck with me!"

Reo wasn't angry per se. Instead, this brought him back to the days when it used to be an uphill struggle to understand what this man thought and felt. A misunderstanding was what made them drift them apart in the first place, after all. He didn't want the lack of communication to get in the way between them, not anymore.

But then, something else was off about it. For a moment, he couldn't point it out until he saw it with his own eyes. His eyes... are closed? Then, Reo noticed how close he was with Kaida. No way. Because of me? All this time, Reo thought he was the only one embarrassed between them.

Well, time to test out this theory. Without hesitation, Reo opted to intertwine his fingers with Kaida's out of curiosity. The great Kaida Haru-sama? Shy around me? Impossible.

"Whatever ya wanted to say, I can tell that ya have a lot in yer mind for once. Probably something that even working out can't distract ya with, huh?" He brought the back of Kaida's hand against his cheek, humming while nuzzling against the skin. "If somethin's troublin' the Haru-sama that much, then it might be somethin' outta yer comfort zone. But just like how I managed somehow to get to be where I am, all I'm sayin' is that ya just have to believe in yerself more, I guess. Goin' for it is better than regrettin' not doin' it at all. In a way, ya taught me that, too."

[kaidango]

damn it. damn it all.

just how much reo know the fear within him? even his parents could careless about how he felt? crap. he felt like crying. kaida's mind whirls with a tempest of conflicting emotions, each wave crashing against the walls he's meticulously erected around his heart. reo's understanding, his unwavering support, is both a balm and a revelation. how could he, the stoic and foolish kaida haru, be laid bare by mere words and gestures?

he grapples with the tumultuous sea of his thoughts, struggling to reconcile the vulnerability that threatens to overwhelm him with the steadfast resolve he's cultivated over the years. the fear of opening up, of exposing the raw edges of his soul to another, looms large in his mind. yet, beneath the layers of apprehension, lies a glimmer of hope, a whispered promise of liberation from the shackles of his own making.

with a trembling breath, he finds the strength to utter his gratitude to reo, a fragile acknowledgment of the profound impact his lover's presence has on his tumultuous journey. and though the words may falter and the sentiment may be veiled in shadows, the promise he makes is unwavering: to confront his fears, to traverse the murky depths of his emotions, and emerge stronger on the other side ( though he can only awkwardly, forcefully, smile his usual stiff smile with eyes that don't match the feeling nor the gesture he is trying to do. what a mess he become whilst trying to face his lover )..

"thank you." what he can muster without choking up. "i really need to hear it. thank you for not asking further. i will tell you when the time is right. just ... just not right now." "i'm scared .. so please give me time a bit. i promise it won't be long. just stay with me until then."

[oreoichi]

【 continued. are we even surprised? / @kaidango 】

"..."

I knew it. Senpai's not listening. Reo's lips formed a pout. Is it just me or has senpai been out of it these days? He's staring more into space lately, even when we're together... Does this mean... He was quick to shake his head, to shake off the pessimistic thoughts before they even set in. Senpai would've said something if he doesn't want this anymore.

"Ahh."

Reo blinked at Kaida, then blinked at the spoon before him, then blinked at Kaida again. His mind took a while to process what was happening before him. But when it did...

"H-Huh?"

Hold up, hold up. This isn't a dream, right? I've only seen this ever happen in through dreams and my own imagination. Is this what senpai was thinking about? Whether he wants to share his food with me or not? And he now does? This means... He likes me more now, right?

...Well, he hasn't really said anything about it, but still... This is better than nothing! Good job, Ryuuichi! You've worked hard! You deserve this!

After letting out shy chuckles, he bowed his head in gratitude. "Th-Thanks for the food..." He chomped down the food with much delight, letting out a swoon at the taste. He placed his palm against his warm and red cheek, unable to hide the excitement that this heart-throbbing experience provided him.

Assuming this was just a once in a lifetime experience, Reo proceeded to start a new conversation "...Did you make this food yourself, senpai? It's delicious."

[kaidango]

cute.

so very much so. look at his bashfulness. how can one actually like him that way and that much? apparently so. apparently he is. reo is. ( he can't help but to be bashful too. the tip of his ears burn just as bright as the other's face )

he doesn't want the lunch break to end, per usual, but this time it's for a whole different reason.

"should i bring one for you? tomorrow i mean."

it's not like a complicated things to do, he can always buy from a store if he want to give reo a fancy one even if he has to cut down many things from his list. gosh, how hard it is to be a highschooler with no job or money-

or not?

maybe he should start finding a part-time job.

maybe he can buy reo more stuff. he will smile more for him then. he heard about some stores that offer great and fresh food that he doesn't have the mind to visit yet until reo. no reason to until reo.

that's the plan. he should start looking for a part-time job. ( while thinking so, he keep on feeding reo his portion ).

"or should we go somewhere after school? want to go to the arcade then eat something from the convenience store?"

[kaidango]

kaida's attempt of writing his essay that will be submitted to the university he applied to. something he's not so sure whether he want reo to proof read it for him or not, so he left it on his desk before he goes to work (he's to embarrassed that there's nothing he can write regarding the free topic essay, so he proceed with this one instead):

Title: Love's Manifesto: A Testament to Affection and Devotion

In the tapestry of my existence, there exists a thread woven with the shimmering hues of affection and devotion. This thread, radiant and resplendent, is none other than the profound love I hold for my beloved. As I commit pen to paper, I am compelled to embark on a journey of introspection, to unravel the intricacies of my emotions and lay bare the sentiments that course through the very depths of my soul.

My beloved, a beacon of light amidst the shadows of uncertainty, embodies the very essence of love's transcendence. In his presence, I find solace, a sanctuary where I am free to shed the armor of stoicism and embrace vulnerability with open arms. His laughter, like a melody that dances upon the breeze, resonates within the chambers of my heart, infusing every moment with joy and boundless affection.

With each passing day, I find myself enraptured by the radiant glow of love that emanates from my beloved's heart. His unwavering faith in our shared future fills me with hope and optimism, inspiring me to navigate life's tumultuous waters with unwavering determination and resolve. Together, we traverse the peaks and valleys of existence, bound by an unbreakable bond forged in the fires of affection and devotion.

In the quiet moments of introspection, I am reminded of the myriad ways in which my beloved has touched my life. His unwavering support and unconditional love have been the pillars upon which I lean in times of adversity, the gentle caress that soothes the wounds of doubt and uncertainty. In his gaze, I find affirmation, a reflection of the love that knows no bounds and transcends the limitations of time and space.

As I commit my thoughts to paper, I am humbled by the profundity of emotion that courses through my veins. My beloved, with his radiant spirit and boundless affection, has irrevocably altered the landscape of my existence, infusing every moment with meaning and purpose. In his embrace, I find home, a sanctuary where I am free to be my truest self, unencumbered by the burdens of the world.

In conclusion, my journey towards self-discovery and emotional fulfillment finds its zenith in the boundless affection I hold for my beloved. In his presence, I find the courage to embrace vulnerability, to surrender myself to the transformative power of love, and to embark on a journey of renewal and rediscovery. As I traverse the boundless expanse of existence, I do so hand in hand with my beloved, my steadfast companion and eternal muse.

[kaidango]

"Uh, senpai? Are you listening?"

( we need that cute hs kaireo fluffy fluff... )

actually he has stopped listening for a bit. well, maybe not a bit but a long while. and so does his chewing. leaving the lunch left bulging on his left cheek, eyes focusing on elsewhere that is not the food, nor other students but one person. reo. then he continues. "hn," he lies, doesn't have a heart to say that he didn't. not when he deeply trying to thinking about ...

well ...

reo.

who else is there to think? what else is there to think? definitely not today's test that he might have fluked it. nope. but surely, reo stick around his mind like a sticky bubble gum. (then he finally chew some more. today's lunch ... what was it? he was suppose to be looking forward for it today. not again).

"aahh,"

oh? what was he thinking? there's no turning back now. curse this naughty hand of his that offer the younger boy his lunch. feeding him? really, kaida? he can feel his finger burning from embarrassment, he can feel his ears burning from embarrassment. surely it's noticeable and it's not like he can hide it. and it's not like it's wrong either.

they are dating. are they not?

things like this suppose to be expected sooner or later. then maybe they can start holding hand. oh look at that face, so cute. when did he realize about it? he doesn't know. but he does know that reo's eyes surely bright as it can be. full of hope and love and youth. the way his nose curved is also beautiful. that lips look delicious to-

huh?

what is?

what is there that is delicious?

the food. yes. that. definitely that. and not reo's lips that is so soft looking like a glazed donut, or like a freshly licked lolipop. speaking of lolipop, surely his lips will look nice licking the lolipop- ahem- moving on.

he's still waiting though, in all his silly embarrassment, for reo to take a bite. oh cheesebag, does that mean this will be an indirect kiss? my, kaida. you sly boy. or not. he's a pure boy with pure intention. definitely not thinking of kissing another boy just because this feel like the right moment, nor that reo look very much adorable that he just can't handle himself. let's blame it to anything else like he always do, like most people do!

yes, curse you: teenage hormones!

kaida is simply glad that his mind isn't something anyone can read, nor anyone's mind really. because boy, that would be embarrassing. as if liking and dating another boy is embarrassing enough but it's not. not when it's reo. he's the exception. and maybe he's the only boy he will ever date. maybe the only one he will ever love-

oh my my.

what a mess!

[oreoichi]

So, the dumbass improved on givin' an answer I need to hear without explainin' myself.

However, the unusual hesitation from Kaida wasn't left unnoticed. Obviously, there could be tons of things occupying Kaida's mind, but keeping to himself was his expertise, his trademark, his brand. He wouldn't be Kaida Haru with this aspect.

On the contrary, Kaida opening up about something to Reo was new. This might have been why he was hesitant, why he could even be nervous. Reo always saw Kaida as something who knew what he wanted to do or say, so whatever was on Kaida's mind could be considered odd even for him.

"A business trip, huh?" Reo folded his arms against his chest, his posture more relaxed than a minute ago. "Why didn't you tell me that, then? Ya know I'm all for stuff like that. If it helps out in yer job, or whatever you plan to do in the future. Goin' to other countries is a good credential to have in my book. Take it from me!" A pause. "Though growin' up abroad didn't really have much of an impact in the kinds of jobs I applied, the more I think about it..."

With his straightforward response out of the way, Reo moved closer, his eyes filled with curiosity that he wouldn't bother to hide. "Y'know, ya just typically announce that ya wanna do this and that. That's what we're used to. Does this have to do somethin' that's in yer mind that ya mentioned just now?"

[kaidango]

crap, he is way too close for kaida's liking (and the safety of his own heart, after all these times, it still beating foolishly fast). everything that came out of reo was right, of course, anything about overseas he would know all too well for he is someone who is born and raised outside japan. if anything, reo is the perfect person to ask about it yet not quite enough. not the kind of answer he will get however still close enough when it comes how to survive overseas and what to prepare. but enough talking about it, reo is just waaaay too close.

way too close that it makes him bashful.

makes him red.

makes him feel like reo will read him like a book, like a clear glass and he knows that reo will do it as easy as breathing and he doesn't like it. not now, not when he isn't even ready nor have the proper answer for it.

so he closes his eyes tightly that it creased his nose.

yes, that's right. this way reo won't a way to read his mind. not at all. he thinks.

"no-" he denies. wait-

"yes! ... maybe?" huh?

"i don't know! d-don't ask me stuff!" "i, err- don't look at me like that! i- i will tell you once i have the answer!" he says, still stubbornly closing his eyes just as he stubbornly refused to tell.

[kaidango]

valentine's day special with the dumdum @oreoichi

no matter how many times he has been reassured, it just don't feel right.

it's new, it's something that he absolutely, definitely doubtful about. it's something out of his comfort zone no matter how many times he saw it. it's like he has become someone else that he doesn't even recognize, yet when he thinks about reo's reaction once he see it, too, he somehow couldn't wait. he wishes for nothing but not a single laughter -or maybe his lover will and he doesn't really mind, reo's laughter is always the second best thing from the man himself, yet he still wish that if anything, his lover will love it.

maybe he should also prepare something else too.

what do people get for valentine's day beside chocolate? ah, maybe he should buy bouquet of flowers. yes that should do, and he will choose it carefully with much thought and patiences and reo in mind.

does this action will fall in to the category of being a cheesy boyfriend? he doesn't know, but preparing stuff like these for his lover specially fill him with much joy that he never thought he would ever feel before.

bouquet of flowers and box of chocolate acquired. what's next?

maybe, that, yes he remembers about reo's job. he should buy something that will make reo comfortable whilst doing his job. he should buy shoulder massager, a drawing glove, some ink perhaps ( he actually doesn't really know whether he is doing a traditional art or digital but it's worth buying ), some drawing pens ( again, doesn't know what mangaka usually use but he bought the best one -expensive but from the seller, they said it was a good choice. kaida got scammed tho. ), a soft pillow to sit on while working, and many kind of multivitamins because reo need to always stay healthy knowing how both of them have the worst working schedule.

that's it. wrapped neatly and ready to be given once he goes back home.

what else?

feels like there is something he should do. yes, practice. and so he mumbles on his way back.

gosh, what a nervewrecking things to do.

he needs to prepare things mentally, despite he has been dating reo for a while now, but these things are still nervewrecking.

alright, alright. in one, two-

"happy valentine's day," a tadbit monotone, robotic even. but look at those red ears that imitate the wrapper of the bouquet. what a sight to see.

but you know what else reo should see? kaida's hair. short and neat ( a bit too short, it makes him more boyish ) and it is silver. yes he cut and dyed it in a salon. they convinced him that his manga-loving lover would love to see that his boyfriend turned into the character in the manga they loves so much. and so he did, with much thought of course. it took him like a month to convinced himself and waiting for the queue of the salon.

"thank you for ... spending another valentine's with me, ryuuichi." he says, this time rather "sweetly", just like the character in ggcm series -or maybe he was being tricked by the hairdressers ( kaida actually want to die out of embarrassment and yes, this is what he's been practicing on his way back home ).

"i..."

"i love you."

then a peck on reo's lips.

then a shove to reo's chest with many gifts he prepared.

"happy valentine's day." he says, once again.

[kaidango]

cont'd / @oreoichi

he didn't expect quite a blow from reo, honestly. well, actually it would be weirder if he doesn't get any from the man knowing how vague the question might be. he doesn't even have the proper answer for question thrown previously anyway. he doesn't have any proper words, nor reason, nor bullshit to throw. he just wanted him to know ... of what?

he actually do want to do something. to leap, and to prosper. he wants what reo have. a proper life. a life worth living and not a life that's just breathe, and work, and sleep, and just it. it's scary, it is become scarier with another day passed by. but that's not important right now, the most important is,

"just so you know it's not a break up or anything." as if he could read reo's mind.

"it's just ... nothing," coward. "there's just something on my mind lately. not a break up, i'm telling you once again."

"i just overheard about err,"

"business trip and things at work." liar.

averting his gazes, like he always does best, and at times like this, he dislikes that reo might actually catch his lie. he just can't tell him the truth. not yet. not telling his half-baked ideas and desire, out of fear of it being laughed at or how it might be a foolish idea. or that he might regret it later on. it's this unspoken fear that stuck on his throat like a clump or a tar.

[birdhism]

[kaidango]

the not so many faces of a certain marketing manager of a game company made when he is around his lover. it is such a rare sight for him to smile genuinely but a change is still a change no matter how slow or small it is.