Jongin thinks Kyungsoo must have really destroyed him.
real hard.
It’s been a month since they’ve broken up and the only good thing Jongin has done is get out of his house to take a stroll in the neighborhood park.
His fingers would might as well mold into a crescent; they do nothing but grip tightly on to his mobile phone, waiting for a text message that he knew is never going to come.
regrets come after a decision is made when emotions are high.
Jongin wishes he knew that before that night he ended a relationship he’d thought would go against all the odds.
But there’s a war going inside Jongin’s head.
A war that would cause his mental state’s demise if it doesn’t stop.
One Jongin is stuck in it’s the right choice, he wasn’t right for you.
and another Jongin is stuck on we could’ve worked it out, if i wasn’t too much of a pussy.
Jongin wishes the latter thought would lose out.
Kyungsoo wasn’t right for Jongin, just like how he wasn’t right for Kyungsoo. Their relationship was a time bomb. It was a fact Jongin was not too blind to see, but he risked it all anyway, and thought, maybe, somewhere in the way, he could dismantle it.
What he didn’t see coming;
He was too pre occupied with saving their relationship,
that he hadn’t realized
Kyungsoo was breaking him.
In a manner so deliberately slow, the pain was not felt until it all had piled up against Jongin’s chest and exploded.
"So what do I do now" He speaks to the pale ghost of a reflection in the mirror. "where do we go from here"
Just right then his phone blows up with the sound of Kyungsoo’s ringtone. He hesitates, but soon enough answers it anyway. He doesn’t speak though. His hands are shaking.
There’s silence on the line for a few minutes until Kyungsoo finally talks; ”Hello.” It wasn’t much of a question.
Jongin’s voice breaks, “Good Evening.”
Kyungsoo is a piece of Jongin that he wishes to forget about. But the more he forces Kyungsoo out, the more and more he realizes how easy he had given up. The more he realizes it’s close to impossible, the more he realizes he might have just screwed up big time.
"i wanted to check on you" Kyungsoo follows, voice shy.
"I’m Ok" Jongin replies shortly.
"That’s good."
"is that all?"
Silence.
"good night, then"
He pretends not to hear the cut off voice of Kyungsoo in the last second before he hung up.
Jongin hates this. He wants to get out of this misery.
How do you remember how you once were after a huge part of you had been taken out?
Another month passes and Jongin is holding up better than the last. He’s smiling more often now, dressing himself with more effort and going out more.
A particular guy named Sehun had been taking him out, helping him out of his misery and he could never have been more thankful.
Ofcourse, the fact that Sehun is gay and is more often than not in a lovey dovey state whenever his boyfriend is around doesn’t help — but so long as Jongin’s distracted from his thoughts, he doesn’t mind.
One autumn day when he’s sat in a cafe waiting for his order he sees the familiar figure of Kyungsoo outside the window. Their eyes meet, and Kyungsoo stops in his tracks. Jongin stares at him, and it takes all of him to make the corners of his lips twitch in a smile.
Kyungsoo smiles back.
The smile disappears right after Kyungsoo continues to walk.
Jongin breaks down that night again.
He finds it unfair. Unfair how no matter how he thinks he’s doing progress, one glimpse of Kyungsoo and he’s right back to square one.
Jongin gets drunk another month after, after coincidentally bumping with Kyungsoo in the streets. It wouldn’t have been that painful except for the fact that his ex boyfriend wasn’t alone.
Sehun does his job again and takes him out drinking, and he drinks himself until he can’t think and see straight.
Sehun takes him home that night, and Jongin sees Kyungsoo when Sehun lays him down on his bed.
"kiss me." Jongin whispers.
To his surprise, Sehun does. One kiss turns into desperate touches. Clothes are thrown to the floor and when he enters Sehun and finishes, Jongin whispers Kyungsoo’s name.
All the while, he sees Kyungsoo.
After that night, Sehun avoids Jongin as much as he possibly can.
Jongin thinks this is it.
This is how it’s going to be for the rest of his life; kyungsoo’s going to forget about him while Jongin’s forgets about the fact that he still has a life.
It still feels surreal, Kyungsoo riding a muggle car in the muggle world with muggles all around them. Not that he’s weirded out by it, but spending so many years in Hogwarts made him feel like being ordinary isn’t being ordinary at all. He feels homesick, maybe because he’s felt the best at home in Hogwarts along with his friends. Not to mention that he met the love of his life, or so he really hopes so, there. The thought makes him glance sideways at Jongin who looks so fixated on driving. Well that was what it looked like until Jongin opens his mouth and started singing along to the song on the radio.
He widens his eye, looking down at the hand holding his and he fights hard to not laugh, which he failed. It’s not that he’s laughing at Jongin’s voice because Merlin knows how many times he asked Jongin to sing for him. He loves the younger’s voice. It’s the perfect timbre to lull him to slepp and to make him feel at peace. He just finds the situation entirely embarrassing because the lines Jongin is singing are incredibly cheesy it’s hurting him.
"Is there something I need to know about?" he asks jokingly, tapping his fingers against Jongin’s knuckles when they temporarily stopped at a red light. "You’re singing some song I don’t know about which is really… embarrassingly sickly sweet and we’re off somewhere. Are you going to murder me?"
Jongin, when he hears the laughter coming out of Kyungsoo's mouth as he sings, couldn't help but crack a smile too. He knows he sucks at singing, and he knows he's more cheesier than the thousand bowls of mac and cheese sitting on Tao's refrigerator right now, but there was no helping it. To be fair, and on his defense, Kyungsoo is the one that drives Jongin to do those things, so really, it's not his fault. Half of the time in their relationship Jongin usually tries to find out what it is that Kyungsoo has that makes him do those things, and the other half he just shrugs and gives up when he realizes it's everything about him.
When the song finishes, and he hears Kyungsoo talking, Jongin reaches out to lower the volume of the music, glancing at Kyungsoo momentarily before his eyes are back on the road again. "It's called Still Falling by a muggle-born singer named Hunter Hayes" He answered, "he's a good friend of mine from the wizarding school in america"
Jongin lets out a tiny chuckle at the assumption. "I'm offended" He says playfully, "i'm being cheesy and you accuse me of attempting a murder?! I'm sooo offended" He drags out the 'soo', probably acting hurt in an oh so over reacted way.
The feeling of something boring on his skin makes Kyungsoo look up from his phone and he honestly could say it was no surprise when he catches the look Jongin was giving him. It was a mixture of impatience and repressed jealousy and Kyungsoo could see the reason behind it perfectly. Biting back his urge to comment n how cute his boyfriend is, he slides next to him on the passenger seat instead.
"Jongdae." he says simply, shaking his phone in front of Jongin with a smug smile. He knows he shouldn’t even be making fun of Jongin’s insecurities but Jongin was just being cute right now. "I’m texting Jongdae. And not whoever you are thinking off." he adds, toning down his smile to a much softer one. He leans closer, presseing a chaste kiss on Jongin’s cheek and smiling some more. "So don’t look so tense anymore, please?"
He pulls back, securing the seatbelt and glancing at Jongin to make sure his was on properly too. They might have grown up but Kyungsoo will always be the nagger — the one who overly thinks in the group. When he’s sure they’re both ready, he taps the window on his side and laughs. “Let’s go, let’s go.”
Jongin squints his eyes at the phone waved in front of him. He tries to act like that doesn't really bother him, and he doesn't know if Kyungsoo buys it and silently hopes he does. But it doesn't probably matter anymore. kyungsoo knows baekhyun bothers him, there was no point in hiding that. He returns the smile though, as he watches Kyungsoo get in the car and so he follows after and soon enough they're pulling off the driveway.
Jongin doesn't sing. Nope. Not one bit. He'd rather cover himself with the most disgusting thing one could think of than open his mouth to produce something other than talking and shouting. He's pretty confident in dancing, though, atleast he's got that going for him. But then his favourite song at that moment comes on the radio and there was no way he'd pass on the chance on singing it. especially when the person he thinks of when the song plays is right beside him.
"after all this time you'd think i'd be, used to the pull of your gravity. after flying so high for so long who would think I'm still learning, still burning.." Jongin sings along as he drives by a busy intersection. He wasn't that bad, but he was nowhere as good as Baekhyun either. His voice evidently cracks as he begins to sing and he doesn't mind. "still falling." He continues, his free hand finding Kyungsoo's and he gives it a tight squeeze. The song has the perfect words to the thoughts he can never seem to say out loud despite being the cheesy person he is. Jongin hums along as the song progresses, the fingers repping on the stirring wheel tapping along to the country guitar.
Jongin doesn’t know why he’s doing this. Kyungsoo and him had broken up a few months ago and going back to Korea to visit doesn’t exactly justify the moving on part of the break up. To be fair, though, Jongin isn’t just visiting for Kyungsoo — though he’s the main reason, he’s also visiting for Sehun.
And for the other people he pretended he’s eager to see.
The airplane’s wheel reconnects with the soil of the earth once again and Jongin suddenly feels excited. He looks out his window; the airport of Seoul looks the same as how he remembered it was when he left the country 3 years ago.
The stewardess with the soft voice announces that they must be in order whilst leaving the cabin and Jongin complies. He wants to go out as soon as he can. He wants to see just how much has changed. He wants to see Sehun who’s already waiting outside for him.
Baggage claim felt like eternity before he’s finally pushing the cart filled with his luggages away from the area, and past through the automatic doors of the airport.
His eyes searches for his best friend, and an all teeth grin appears on his face when he finally finds him. Jongin moves his feet twice as fast, and once he’s at the end of the barricade that separates the exit doors from the waiting crowd, he gives Sehun the biggest hug.
"Fuck man, how did you get so tall?" Jongin teased, the grin still on his face and even though his lips were starting to hurt, it doesnt seem to go away.
Sehun mutters a smart comeback that has Jongin laughing and before they even know it, they’re hauling Jongin’s things into Sehun’s car and they’re driving to Sehun’s apartment.
The 30 minute car ride home was filled with catching up between the two males. Jongin’s reminded that Luhan, Sehun’s boyfriend landed from China a couple of weeks ago and is here to stay for another two months.
He remembers seeing the facebook posts of the three of them together Sehun, Luhan and Kyungsoo whilst he sat in his room all the way on the other side of the globe. He remembers feeling the jealousy, which in turn turned to hurt. He remembered it so vividly because nothing could be done to ease the pain he felt every time he sees them having fun without him.
But that doesn’t matter anymore because he’s here now.
"Your room’s kind of small" sehun said, as he opens the door to a neat and clean normal sized room. He helps place all of Jongin’s luggage inside the said room before excusing himself to pick Luhan up from a place a couple of minutes away.
Jongin sighs at the amount of luggage he had brought in with him. He’s worse than a girl. He starts on placing the small things on to the drawers until he tells himself its enough for the night because he’s tired.
Too tired that the moment he lets his body fall onto the soft mattress of the bed, his eyes closes immediately.
-
Jongin wakes up the next day to a familiar voice from just outside his room. It’s Sehun and Luhan talking, but another voice is present and he knows well who it belongs to.
Rubbing the sleep off his eyes Jongin gets up, looks at himself in the mirror briefly to arrange himself, then he gently turns the knob on the door to open it.
"Good morning" Luhan and Sehun says one after the other. Jongin greets back with a wide smile and a ‘the new hair color looks great on you, luhan hyung’
He knows sooner or later he has to acknowledge the presence of the boy cooking in the kitchen. Especially when Sehun and Luhan’s eyes are directing him towards that direction.
He sucks in a sharp breath and turns his body to face the kitchen. Kyungsoo’s already smiling at him. “hey hyung” Jongin greets, the wide smile depleting to a smaller one but he’s still happy to see him here none the less.
Kyungsoo mutters a small hi. And their eyes lock for a good fraction of a minute before Jongin initiates the first move of looking away. He reckons they’d be less awkward after they’ve properly spoken to each other.
"When are you here until?" luhan asks, eyes following Jongin as the other male makes his way to sit on the couch opposite the two.
"Two weeks" He answers.
Sehun talks about how stupid it was for him to stay for only such a short amount of time. Jongin agrees but soon explains the reason ; university starts in a few weeks for him back in the states. And since he’s majoring in medicine, he has to take school seriously. That means no slacking like how Sehun and Him used to back in their high school days.
"How you manage to get into medicine, god only knows" Sehun teases, and Luhan hits him for it lightly but he’s chuckling too. Jongin just shrugs his shoulders and laughs. Every now and then he glances at Kyungsoo moving about in his domain; the kitchen. The older male is making and packing meals, since they’ve all decided to take a road trip to Busan today.
He only hears the last part of what Luhan is saying when he nods, because it pretty much makes sense. “…and baekhyun and yeol are on their way here”
Baekhyun and Chanyeol aren’t exactly together. But everyone in their group of friends very much well know that they will be soon enough. They’re both blind, not literally though.
"don’t you need to shower?" kyungsoo calls out from the kitchen. Everyone’s head turns to him, and it takes a while for Jongin to realize that it was directed at him.
"Oh right" He says with a laugh.
Jongin excuses himself to shower the next minute.
When he’s all dressed up; a simple printed t-shirt and shorts, paired with his favorite pair of shoes, Jongin packs all the necessary things he needs inside his small backpack.
When he exits his room, Kyungsoo’s all finished with his food preparations. There are different containers full of good edible goodness sitting on the countertop.
"Saved you for breakfast," Kyungsoo says and at that Jongin walks towards him, a good smile on his face as he sits himself on the high chair. There’s bacon on his plate, fried egg with it’s yolk still in liquid form.
"I hope your breakfast taste hasn’t changed" Kyungsoo says with a laugh.
Jongin shakes his head, “not at all. Bacon and Eggs are way too good to take out of my diet” and with that Jongin begins eating on the contents of his plate. It doesn’t occur to him that it’s only him and Kyungsoo in the house now. and he only does notice when he’s sitting back, a contented expression on his face after he’s finished the meal. “Where are sehun and luhan?”
kyungsoo takes the empty plate away and begins washing it, “they went out to buy some pop”
jongin nods his head in acknowledgement. Not long after that silence and awkwardness began to shadow over them, and in his mind Jongin is battling with himself; what should he do? Should he keep talking?
It was unnecessary though because Sehun and Luhan were back with Baekhyun and Chanyeol following just right behind them. Chanyeol gives Jongin the biggest ( And longest) hug whilst Baekhyun does the same, only less.. affectionate.
"Is everybody all prepared and ready?" Baekhyun asks and there’s a bit of a mumbling amongst everybody before they finally nod their heads.
They play a game of rock paper scissors to determine who brings all of their luggage down to the car. Sehun and Jongin lost ( ‘as always’ Luhan snorts ) and so Jongin finds himself side by side with Sehun, bags on every hooking corner theyre both able to hook on on their bodies. Since Sehun lives on the 26th floor, the elevator takes awhile. and sehun somehow finds this time to question Jongin. “So what’s going to happen to you and Kyungsoo during this trip?”
Jongin turns to look at him, “Nothing. We’ll remain as friends, act like how we did before we got together”
Sehun finds his answer funny and laughs. It sounded more like a “bullshit” disguised as a laugh. “Yeah, and I’ll make sure not to make love to Luhan during this trip” Sehun replies, sarcasm dripping with his every word.
Jongin lands a punch on Sehun’s arm and the boy winces in pain, but there’s that grin on Sehun’s face — but disappears as soon as it came when he follows up with; “he’s moved on”
Jongin doesn’t reply to that and gives thanks to lord of timings when the bell that signals that they’ve arrived in their designated floor rings just as Sehun was about to say something more.
He clicks the keys to the car and opens the back door, neatly organizing the bags of containers and pretty much everything they needed.
"Sorry, dude" Sehun says, and Jongin shrugs him off because there’s really nothing to be sorry about. "But it’s the truth. I think—"
"Look it doesn’t matter because I don’t care about his status," Jongin cuts him off and he takes a pause to breathe before he continues; "I’m not going after him, Sehun. Im here to hang out with you and my group of friends, not to make him fall in love with me again"
Sehun was about to say something when he’s stopped by the sound of Luhan and the others exiting the elevator. Sehun gives Jongin a pat on the back once before lifting what’s left of their bags on to the back of the car.
"Is Jongin driving?" Luhan asks, "or me?"
Jongin raises his hand briefly, “I’ll drive. If i remember correctly, 3 hours down the road there should be a rest stop, let’s switch there”
With that settled, Baekhyun calls shotgun for the front passenger seat (not for him though, but Kyungsoo). Sehun and Luhan occupies the seats behind Jongin and Kyungsoo, whilst Chanyeol and Baekhyun occupies the ones behind them.
Six seat belts locks click, engine starts and within minutes they’re driving off of Sehun’s apartment’s driveway, out of the city of seoul and heading south to busan.
The first hour was spent with his friends asking about how Jongin’s life was in the states. Chanyeol and Baekhyun cracks a joke about Jongin being way too american now and with the continous teasing from the backseat, the car is filled with laughter.
From the corner of his eyes though, Jongin notices Kyungsoo. It’s hard not to. He figures if someone calls him out on it he’ll just say he’s looking at the side mirror. The older male barely laughs along with them, and he recognizes that fake smile all too well. It takes all of Jongin to not ask him what’s wrong.
It takes two hours into the drive when silence finally kicks in. From his rearview mirror, He could see that Baekhyun and Chanyeol were already fast asleep ( head leaned against each other and Jongin smiles at the nice image). Sehun’s awake, staring out from the window in deep thought. Luhan’s eyes are closed beside him. And Kyungsoo.. kyungsoo’s gaze is firm as he stares forward.
"Close your eyes, Hyung" Jongin says, keeping his eyes on the road though he glances at him momentarily to smile.
"You know i can’t"
Oh right. His memory refreshes at the words and he remembers what Kyungsoo told him that time they went on their first road trip together years ago. Jongin guessed the trauma from the car crash Kyungsoo was in as a kid really hit him bad. He decides not to question him any further.
“you can stay up with me then” Jongin smiles.
“me too” he hears sehun say. words too dry.
Jongin glances at the rearview mirror and he sees sehun staring at him. it’s not a good kind of stare either. He suddenly feels like he has to review his words very, very carefully before he says them out loud.
“so kyungsoo hyung,” Sehun starts with a voice all too familiar to Jongin. He’s hard that tone before. Sehun always uses that strong tone when he tries to prove a point. Jongin’s grip on the stirring wheel tightens because he somehow has a hunch as to where this was going.
Kyungsoo hums in response.
Sehun and Jongin’s eyes meet once again in the rearview mirror before he hears Sehun’s say, ever so slowly; “how are you and hyunsik-hyung?”
"Okay" Kyungsoo responds, and Jongin can tell that he’s being careful with his words too. It makes him smile that Kyungsoo is still considering Jongin’s feelings despite breaking up.
“did he take you out on another date yet?” Sehun asks.
Jongin shifts in his seat, he wills himself to focus on the road before them.
Before Kyungsoo could even answer, Baekhyun calls Sehun’s name out.
“Enough” He hears Baekhyun say.
Jongin must be very obvious. And to think he’s done nothing but to try to keep a straight face from all of the things he’s been hearing.
“It’s fine” Jongin says, because there was no hiding it now really. He glances at Kyungsoo briefly and feigns an all too believable smile. “How is this Hyunsik guy?”
The minute before Kyungsoo finally answers is full of tension.
“We went out once” Kyungsoo answers in a silent tone, staring at the front as he tries his best not to meet Jongin’s eyes “he was great”
Everyword caused a constricting pain to arise in Jongin’s chest. He hates how he still has that effect on him. After a forced cough, Jongin responds with “That’s good”
Kyungsoo hums a ‘mhm’ once again.
The rest of the drive to the rest stop is silent apart from the soft acoustic music blasting from the car’s speaker. Sehun finally falls alseep somewhere in the way, and so does Baekhyun.
-
The six boys orders the same ramyeon soup as they finally arrive in the rest stop. Jongin’s body is still running on american time, so he’s feeling more tired than ever. Sehun excuses himself to go to the washroom, and Jongin catches Sehun giving Luhan some kind of look.
Jongin groans because he really wish he hadn’t seen that.
Sehun and Luhan excuses themselves to go to the washroom.
Jongin and Kyungsoo are left alone once again because Chanyeol and Baekhyun had decided to go to the arcade that the rest stop provided ( “Since Sehun and Luhan hyung are having fun, i figure we’d have some fun of our own too — only we mean innocent fun, not like those two” Chanyeol reasons )
Kyungsoo expects Jongin to react. He honestly expected his hold to tighten against him but he didn’t count for the younger to show off his relationship with him. It made him feel elated and embarrassed at the same time so he quickly tugs Jongin forward, blushing to the roots of his hair as they finally walk out towards Jongin’s car.
"What was that for?" he grumbles, cheeks still flushed at the unexpected show from Jongin. He makes a face, scrunching up his nose before turning to Jongin with a much more softer expression. "They weren’t doing anything, Jongin. You didn’t need to be so protective." he says. "But thank you, nonetheless." he whispers after, ducking down so Jongin wouldn’t see the redness on his face darkening again. He slows down, waiting for Jongin to lead them the way as he fiddles with his phone.
It’s been a few days since he heard that Jongdae was out in the muggle world and he has been forgetting to text the younger male, all thanks to Jongin and his distractions so he quickly types a message, asking how the younger was. He misses Jongdae, that was certain.
He smirks at the look he receives from the said neighbors. Jongin was no stranger to wanting public display of affection, but he always finds joy in watching people's expressions when he actually does initiate it. He doesn't realize the effect it has on Kyungsoo, though, until he feels himself getting dragged in a faster face than their norm.
at the question, jongin blinks at him momentarily. not until he hears the thank you from kyungsoo, he thought what he did was wrong. maybe it was in a way, but he expected his actions to be more appreciated "being with you is what it's for" he replied, leading them towards his red porsche car that he's had for awhile now. He opens the door for Kyungsoo, waiting for him to get into the car. "i know, but in their minds they were" Jongin begins, shrugging his shoulders in a nonchalant manner"
Jongin watches as the boy fiddles with his phone and he tries his best not to get too much worked up on who he's texting. He does a good job in convincing himself that Baekhyun's probably back in the wizarding world so that couldn't be him. So he stands there, the door to the passenger seat open as he waits for kyungsoo to finish whatever business he's got with his mobile phone.
(/scoffs) I’m pretty sure you’re the one who is giving me that idea here. (/pokes your nose teasingly) Kim Jongin, you just made cuddling with Kyungsoo sound even more challenging than ever that I might as well give it a try~ What now?
no. ( `/ jongin says, matter of factly. he hates it when baekhyun acts this way. he knows he's at the losing end whenever the boy mentions kyungsoo ) just because things didn't go well with you and chanyeol don't mean you can go around ruining other people's relationship, baekhyun.
Kyungsoo looks up when the sound of their bedroom door opening reaches his ears, watching curiously as Jongin comes out with a sheepish expression on his face. He snorts when the younger finishes explaining, gratefully accepting the rose and chocolates and then kissing his boyfriend on the cheek. Though he tries so hard not to show it, he’s still embarrassed and shy whenever Jongin does stuff like this for him. He still can’t quite get the hang of being the one Jongin want and the younger never fails to rouse the butterflies inside his stomach.
"Why do you have to give me this before we go out?" he laughs, keeping the chocolates inside the fridge and then placing the rose carefully on top of his book resting on the kitchen counter. He stares at it for a few more seconds before facing Jongin and tiptoeing slightly to fix his hair. He smiles, looking at Jongin and patting his cheek before lacing their fingers and gently tugging.
"Come on. We’re going to be late." he says, trying to keep the excitement from his voice even as he constantly leads Jongin out of the apartment. He squints his eyes when they go out, some of the neighbors going out as well and he awkwardly smiles at them when they stare, not knowing if that was a good or bad thing.
He doesn't really know what to expect when Kyungsoo finally sees him with the small gifts he had prepared. His boyfriend's reaction somehow varies everytime he does so. When he sees the smile on his face, though, Jongin smiles too because he likes that. That's the kind of reaction he wanted to see ( the snort was somehow predictable). The kiss on his cheek was okay too, though he'd honestly prefer something more intimate. Jongin's kidding, ofcourse. Well, maybe half of him is.
At the question asked, Jongin shrugs his shoulders lightly. His gaze trails behind Kyungsoo's movement as his boyfriend walks towards the fridge to store the chocolates, and on to the kitchen counter and back to him. Smiling at him as he does those small gestures that Jongin always loved, he lets himself be lead out of their apartment.
When he sees their neighbors staring at them, Jongin tightens his hold on Kyungsoo's hands. Then he raises their hands up, placing a kiss on the back of Kyungsoo's palm; all the while he's eye to eye with the said neighbors. "I'm taking my boyfriend out for a date, please watch the house for us" He says with an all too friendly smile. The judging stares used to bother him, but he doesn't really care anymore. he'd scream out Kyungsoo's name and the phrase "i am dating him" in front of the whole anti-gay community if he had to.
Kyungsoo was excited, like, really really excited. Why? Because they were going to the cinema. Him and Jongin. Sure, they might have went to a cinema already but that was just once and they were just starting to date back then. He wasn’t even sure if Jongin still remember that. He thinks it’s all hazy but he vaguely remembers having his first sexual encounter with Jongin inside the darkness of the theater.
The memory make him scoff and blush at the same time. He feels shy all of a sudden so he quickly shrugs on his coat and wraps his scarf around his neck in case he suddenly backs off. It’s rare for him to have a proper date with his boyfriend so every time they have a chance to have one, he’s always this excited. It’s not cool when your boyfriend have to go a few times a month just because he’s needed by his father and his rich ass family.
"Jongin, where are you?" he calls out just as he’s putting his shoes on. He doesn’t want to be late since he’s waiting for this movie to come on for such a long time. "Hurry up, Jongin!"
He doesn't know when or how they managed to come up with the idea of watching a movie together ; it's been so long since the last time they did that the idea rarely even pops into Jongin's mind. But he's happy that it did though, because now he's going to spend some time with Kyungsoo. Okay, during the movie -- he probably wouldn't. Knowing just how Kyungsoo gets into the film way too much. At first it bothered Jongin, but now it's kind of cute ( maybe with the help of reminding himself constantly that movies are meant to be watched and not to be made as a background music as you make out ).
Picking out a random shirt from his closet and grabbing a random coat on, Jongin replies a 'just a bit' when he hears his boyfriend calling. He almost forgets to take the small box of chocolates he had hid in the depths of his closet just earlier today and the single store-bought white rose. He takes a look at himself in the mirror one last time, the box of chocolates and well wrapped rose in his hands.
When he exits the room, he smiles as he makes his way to Kyungsoo by the door. "Happy far-away-from-our-anniversary anniversary day" he says, just really an excuse for his cheesiness. Jongin laughs before extending his arms to hand it to the other. "You can leave these here actually"
He’s always known that Jongin is good at giving massages, he could still remember the day when he gave up his virginity to him. Jongin had massaged him when he woke up and he felt extremely light at the thought. So he closes his eyes, sighing in content and whining. He drawls out a ‘yes’ when Jongin asks and repeatedly sighs.
He could feel sleep coming in a lot faster and he smiles distractedly, wondering how Jongin would react if he sees him fast asleep already. “Jongin.” he calls out softly, “You should go sleep too. I don’t want to leave you wide awake while I snore.” he sleepily teases as he smiles up at him cutely even with his eyes closed.
"Yeah, i'm going to sleep too" he says, and this time he actually does mean it. his need for sex seemed to have calmed down in the past couple of minutes and jongin honestly is thankful it went away that fast because he knows it's going to be hard to convince kyungsoo to actually do it with him by the way his boyfriend is acting. He moves his body to lay on his side of the bed, positioning himself so he's staring right at kyungsoo. he smiles at him, raising a hand to touch the older males face because why the fuck not. he's beautiful, and he deserves to feel like that.
"i'll see you in my dreams, then, gorgeous" he says, moving his body closer to him and at the same time pulling his boyfriend closer to him, too. he likes sleeping beside kyungsoo and he doesn't think he could ever not sleep beside him, unless it's a valid reason, ofcourse. "i love you" he whispers one last time. his hands is positioned on kyungsoo's waist, and he gives him one last peck on the forehead before finally closing his eyes, waiting for sleep to dawn in.
Kyungsoo frowns when he feels Jongin lose interest and he breaks the kiss, looking up at him and rolling his eyes because he knows Jongin all too well by now.But he agrees anyway, telling the younger to lay down on his stomach before he’s straddling his back and pouring the liquid on his palms. He rubs his palms against each other before pressing them against Jongin’s back.
"I’m sure I know the reason why you’re suddenly asking me to massage your back at three in the morning." he deadpans, his hands not stopping as he presses harder on his lower back. "Imagine if I like your neck, I would probably gag because I’m going to taste this rub on your skin." he says matter-of-factly and then he’s pulling away and groaning as he plops down on his back with a yawn.
"Try massaging me for a change." he suggests playfully.
Somewhere in his mind, his subconscious is jumping up and down in his throw, thousands of naked kyungsoo grinning up at him as he does so. Oh the wonders of the mind. He thinks he's finally got Kyungsoo hooked when he's asked to lay on his back -- little did he know a massage is actually the only thing he could get. With a disinterested stare, Jongin gives up but the massage was nice though, so he got that going for him.
When he feels the weight leave his back Jongin shifts so he's laying on his side. He nods his head at the suggestion, guessing he doesn't really have much choice now. So he gets up, plants his knees on either side of Kyungsoo's hips but he doesn't sit on him because he's heavier than Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo is small. Jongin actually gives the best massages; just the right amount of pressure. He starts on the back of his neck, to his shoulders. "good?"
"Don’t drag me into your sexual fantasies, please." Kyungsoo replies, swinging his legs on either side of Jongin because he likes being carried like this — pampered. He closes his eyes, lazily kissing Jongin back and letting the younger gain the upper hand. He just stays there, following Jongin’s lead and enjoying the fact that Jongin wants him.
He pretends he’s not bothered by the hand on his ass but he can’t pretend no longer when he feels his back against the door’s surface. He opens his eyes and blinks in astonishment at his boyfriend, wondering why the hell the younger male was embarrassing as fuck. “You’re not— You’re not seriously serious on having sex are you?” he asks in disbelief. It was three in the morning and he wants to wake up and make breakfast and not sleep throughout the day because he’s tired as fuck. Literally.
"Can’t we just kiss and fall asleep?" he whines, punctuating his suggestion by nibbling on Jongin’s lower lip and kissing him softly, fitting his lips against the younger male as slow as he could. He’s honestly too lazy to move and all he wants to do is just bask on Jongin’s presence and maybe fall asleep with his heart stuttering for his boyfriend.
It's a total lie is Jongin says that he's not slightly embarrassed -- okay, a lot embarrassed by the boy's rejection. He honestly, really thought that's what kyungsoo wanted. Considering how he had acted just an hour ago. But now he's hearing a thousand years of rejection (total exaggeration) from kyungsoo and Jongin really needs to work on building up a facade more because the look of total confusion and disappointment in his face, hes not doing a very good job in hiding.
Jongin continues kissing him though, but his lips responds in a less enthusiastic way and he picks Kyungsoo up properly before making his way to their bed, dropping the male's body to his side of the bed. "alright, let's go to sleep" he said, and this time he understands the boy's reasons. You really can't force someone to do it with you when they don't want to, after all. he stands on the side of the bed, makes a move to remove the fabric that's covering his upper body because Jongin feels all too hot all of a sudden. Though his child hood scars still paints the side of his stomach visibly, it doesn't really hinder the view of his honey abs -- plus, he's not that insecure of them anymore. Kyungsoo's seen more than enough of them.
Before Jongin heads to bed, he grabs the bottle of minty rub on one of their drawers. He scoops a considerate amount in his hands before he rubs them slowly and delibrately down his chest. It feels really good, and he doesn't even realize that he's closing his eyes, head tilting in ways they normally don't as soft moans of relief escapes his lips. "could you spread some on my back, hyung?"
"Jongin, you’re not a prince and I’m certainly not a princess." Kyungsoo dryly comments, but it doesn’t stop the giggle from coming out when he feels himself being carried. "And also, it’s three in the morning. I’m pretty sure our neighbors won’t like it if they hear.. uh, us." he awkwardly continues before he’s laughing again. He squirms slightly, nudging Jongin and grinning.
"Legs around your waist." he says matter-of-factly, the laughter not dying down because he’s not too sure if he’s able to be turned on right now because he finds the situation really cute… and funny. "And the fact that you just asked for my opinion is really weird, just so you know."
So he clambers on Jongin awkwardly until his thighs are wrapped around Jongin’s hips, arms loosely hooked around Jongin’s neck and laughter still in tact. He likes it like this; wants everyday to be this light and he wishes it against the skin on Jongin’s neck, sealing his own fantasies away with a kiss.
"I know I'm not, but we can roleplay" he grins. "they didn't mind before, i'm sure they won't mind again" he replies almost immediately because he really doesn't want anything ruining this for him this time. "but if they call the cops on us, you can just be pretty and get us out of trouble" That was joke. he never would allow kyungsoo to use his 'seducing power' for anyone else. It was for him to see, and only for him to see.
He's happy with Kyungsoo's choice because truth be told he liked it better that way. Legs around the waist means rough and whilst Jongin actually liked making love in a gentle way, he prefers rough more often than not. He likes it when Kyungsoo's panting. He likes the image of his chest heaving up and down ever so rapidly. He likes to hear his breathy moans and his pledges for him to go faster. Just the thought of it makes Jongin excited and he breathes in and out to calm himself.
When Kyungsoo legs are wrapped around his waist he moves his hand down, palms spread open to grab his ass but at the same time, keeping him supported ( that's fucking teamwork). He grins at the male for the last time before he showers him with kisses, staying at their spot for awhile before he finally stumbles down the hallway and on to their room. Jongin doesn't put Kyungsoo down and instead presses him up against the closed door. He pulls away and whispers a "okay, rough or gentle?" we gotta admit it, he's gotta ask that.
"You’re drunk." Kyungsoo blurts out with a hint of laughter. He adores Jongin when he’s barely awake, the sleepiness making him cuter and Kyungsoo could just not smile at him. He laughs eventually when he feels Jongin’s lips against him followed by his words. It shouldn’t have been funny but it is when Jongin’s looking at him like that at barely three in the morning.
"And I didn’t know we were fighting?" he asks with the most innocent expression he could muster. He’s still laughing even when he leans down, connecting their lips in a soft kiss and smiling all throughout. He tugs on Jongin’s bottom lip with his teeth, dragging his tongue against them before letting go and burying his face on the crook of Jongin’s neck. The laughter is gone but the smile on his face can’t seem to be disappearing so he allows himself to indulge in the moment, fingers tracing patterns on Jongin’s skin, just under his shirt as he starts to hum unconsciously.
He groans when he could practically feel the smile on Kyungsoo's lips when they continue to kiss. "stop laughing -- or smiling" he warns, kissing the side of his lips before he pulls away, suddenly so wide awake. He stands up straight and does a small bit of a stretching exercise with his hand before he bends his legs down again to a squatting position. "alright, time for your prince to carry you back home and make love to you in the most passionate way, princess" he says with a smirk, slipping his arm in between Kyungsoo's folded legs with his other hand supporting his back.
Jongin picks Kyungsoo up from the floor with a groan, the playful smirk still on his face. He doesn't mean to ruin the moment, but there's a serious question that's lingering at the tip of his tongue as he looks down at kyungsoo: "would it be sexier if your legs were wrapped around my waist or would it be sexier if i threw you to bed while carrying you like this?" He spends a bit of a time contemplating which way he should pursue, and he really thanks Kyungsoo for being this light.
Kyungsoo shushes him the moment he hears Jongin say sorry. It’s like Kyungsoo’s placating a big baby but Jongin just feels so small in his arms; like he’s going to break just by Kyungsoo’s words. He feels guilt flare up inside him even more because he’s the one that caused this. He’s the one who reduced Jongin into this insecure mess again and he should have known better than to leave their room, fueled only by hurtful words and sensitive heart.
"I’m never going to leave you, Jongin." he whispers, smiling even though the situation is anything but funny because he had always secretly like clingy Jongin. He lowers a hand, prying the younger’s fingers away from his shirt and instead pulling it to wrap around his waist before the hand goes up and tangle on Jongin’s hair, softly moving back and forth. "I’m just really a little bit selfish for leaving you alone in their. I’m sorry, okay?" he whispers softly, nudging the younger to look up before he kisses his temple. "I’ll never leave you."
He finds himself smiling just a little bit at the words he hears from the older male. Jongin might not know exactly how hard it is for kyungsoo to say those words because it's not his persona to, but he can imagine just how much. and he appreciates that, jongin really does. he sighs contentedly at the fingers running through his locks of hair. When he's asked to look up, Jongin does so. The sleepy smile is still on his face as he looks at him with his eyes half open. "hey beautiful" he mutters in a hello and Jongin blinks until his eyes are opened fully again.
Nodding his head in acknowledgement to the older male's words, Jongin moves his head up to place a quick peck on Kyungsoo's jaw. "I love you" He whispers in a husky voice, shifting so he's in a more comfortable spot when he finally decides to land a kiss on his boyfriend's lips. That one peck seemed to serve Jongin like coffee. The need to sleep fades away quickly and Jongin really doesn't care if it's almost three in the morning , and he looks like he's just risen from the dead. He hopes kyungsoo doesn't mind too because he already wants more of his boyfriend. He whispers as his lips hover over Kyungsoo's, "No fighting anymore when we could've just been making love. kiss me."
The sound of footsteps disappearing makes Kyungsoo’s heart constrict. He’s so, so sure Jongin would drag him back to bed and the realization that it’s the second time that night Jongin rejected him makes tears prick at the back of his eyes. He sucks in a breath, willing himself to sleep when footsteps appear again. And then the rustling of fabric before he’s being jostled around. He stares wide-eyed at the back of the couch when he feels pillows under his head, the warmness covering him welcomed before he feels another type of warmth near him.
It took him a few more minutes to turn around and watch Jongin’s vain attempt at keeping warm. He feels guilty but it doesn’t compare to the warmth filling him when he sees Jongin sitting there and waiting. He bites back a smile as he sits up, blanket sliding down and then he’s gathering them on his arms. He kicks his pillow down beside Jongin and sits there, arms pressed on each other as he covers them both with the blanket and sighs contentedly. He turns on his side, hugging Jongin childishly and whining about how he’s so cold even when he’s still smiling.
Jongin wants to stay up ; tries his best to stay up but it's a little bit hard. he finds it weird how when they're laying Jongin isn't as sleepy as he is now but now that he's on the floor, unable to lay his body down because of the cold floor, sleep hits him like a bullet train. He slips out of his consciousness for who knows how long until he's awakened again when he feels someone beside him. Jongin welcomes the warmth, snuggling closer to Kyungsoo so the blanket would fit them better. He tries not to smile, there's a perfect sized bed that'd fit the two of them just a couple of steps away yet they're here, on the cold floor, barely fitting in one blanket.
"i'm sorry" he whispers, shifting once again so his head is on kyungsoo's shoulder and his mouth right directly in front of his neck. "i didn't mean to say those words" He's half awake and half asleep as he places a soft kiss on the patch of skin on kyungsoo's neck that his lips finds. "please don't leave me, please don't get sick of me" he continues, and his words are a bit slurred, his tone akin to his tone when he's drunk. "i'll learn and be better, just please don't leave me" His hand moves to grip on Kyungsoo's shirt. and Jongin grips it tightly. "please"
