unconditional

@kyungdors

Do Kyungsoo | 7th Year Gryffindor

3,595 posts

to the cin--

Jongin squints his eyes at the phone waved in front of him. He tries to act like that doesn’t really bother him, and he doesn’t know if Kyungsoo buys it and silently hopes he does. But it doesn’t probably matter anymore. kyungsoo knows baekhyun bothers him, there was no point in hiding that. He returns the smile though, as he watches Kyungsoo get in the car and so he follows after and soon enough they’re pulling off the driveway.

Jongin doesn’t sing. Nope. Not one bit. He’d rather cover himself with the most disgusting thing one could think of than open his mouth to produce something other than talking and shouting. He’s pretty confident in dancing, though, atleast he’s got that going for him. But then his favourite song at that moment comes on the radio and there was no way he’d pass on the chance on singing it. especially when the person he thinks of when the song plays is right beside him.

"after all this time you’d think i’d be, used to the pull of your gravity. after flying so high for so long who would think I’m still learning, still burning.." Jongin sings along as he drives by a busy intersection. He wasn’t that bad, but he was nowhere as good as Baekhyun either. His voice evidently cracks as he begins to sing and he doesn’t mind. "still falling.” He continues, his free hand finding Kyungsoo’s and he gives it a tight squeeze. The song has the perfect words to the thoughts he can never seem to say out loud despite being the cheesy person he is. Jongin hums along as the song progresses, the fingers repping on the stirring wheel tapping along to the country guitar.

It still feels surreal, Kyungsoo riding a muggle car in the muggle world with muggles all around them. Not that he's weirded out by it, but spending so many years in Hogwarts made him feel like being ordinary isn't being ordinary at all. He feels homesick, maybe because he's felt the best at home in Hogwarts along with his friends. Not to mention that he met the love of his life, or so he really hopes so, there. The thought makes him glance sideways at Jongin who looks so fixated on driving. Well that was what it looked like until Jongin opens his mouth and started singing along to the song on the radio.

He widens his eye, looking down at the hand holding his and he fights hard to not laugh, which he failed. It's not that he's laughing at Jongin's voice because Merlin knows how many times he asked Jongin to sing for him. He loves the younger's voice. It's the perfect timbre to lull him to slepp and to make him feel at peace. He just finds the situation entirely embarrassing because the lines Jongin is singing are incredibly cheesy it's hurting him.

"Is there something I need to know about?" he asks jokingly, tapping his fingers against Jongin's knuckles when they temporarily stopped at a red light. "You're singing some song I don't know about which is really... embarrassingly sickly sweet and we're off somewhere. Are you going to murder me?"

to the cin--

He smirks at the look he receives from the said neighbors. Jongin was no stranger to wanting public display of affection, but he always finds joy in watching people’s expressions when he actually does initiate it. He doesn’t realize the effect it has on Kyungsoo, though, until he feels himself getting dragged in a faster face than their norm.

at the question, jongin blinks at him momentarily. not until he hears the thank you from kyungsoo, he thought what he did was wrong. maybe it was in a way, but he expected his actions to be more appreciated “being with you is what it’s for” he replied, leading them towards his red porsche car that he’s had for awhile now. He opens the door for Kyungsoo, waiting for him to get into the car. “i know, but in their minds they were” Jongin begins, shrugging his shoulders in a nonchalant manner”

Jongin watches as the boy fiddles with his phone and he tries his best not to get too much worked up on who he’s texting. He does a good job in convincing himself that Baekhyun’s probably back in the wizarding world so that couldn’t be him. So he stands there, the door to the passenger seat open as he waits for kyungsoo to finish whatever business he’s got with his mobile phone.

The feeling of something boring on his skin makes Kyungsoo look up from his phone and he honestly could say it was no surprise when he catches the look Jongin was giving him. It was a mixture of impatience and repressed jealousy and Kyungsoo could see the reason behind it perfectly. Biting back his urge to comment n how cute his boyfriend is, he slides next to him on the passenger seat instead.

"Jongdae." he says simply, shaking his phone in front of Jongin with a smug smile. He knows he shouldn't even be making fun of Jongin's insecurities but Jongin was just being cute right now. "I'm texting Jongdae. And not whoever you are thinking off." he adds, toning down his smile to a much softer one. He leans closer, presseing a chaste kiss on Jongin's cheek and smiling some more. "So don't look so tense anymore, please?"

He pulls back, securing the seatbelt and glancing at Jongin to make sure his was on properly too. They might have grown up but Kyungsoo will always be the nagger -- the one who overly thinks in the group. When he's sure they're both ready, he taps the window on his side and laughs. "Let's go, let's go."

to the cin--

He doesn’t really know what to expect when Kyungsoo finally sees him with the small gifts he had prepared. His boyfriend’s reaction somehow varies everytime he does so. When he sees the smile on his face, though, Jongin smiles too because he likes that. That’s the kind of reaction he wanted to see ( the snort was somehow predictable). The kiss on his cheek was okay too, though he’d honestly prefer something more intimate. Jongin’s kidding, ofcourse. Well, maybe half of him is.

At the question asked, Jongin shrugs his shoulders lightly. His gaze trails behind Kyungsoo’s movement as his boyfriend walks towards the fridge to store the chocolates, and on to the kitchen counter and back to him. Smiling at him as he does those small gestures that Jongin always loved, he lets himself be lead out of their apartment.

When he sees their neighbors staring at them, Jongin tightens his hold on Kyungsoo’s hands. Then he raises their hands up, placing a kiss on the back of Kyungsoo’s palm; all the while he’s eye to eye with the said neighbors. “I’m taking my boyfriend out for a date, please watch the house for us” He says with an all too friendly smile. The judging stares used to bother him, but he doesn’t really care anymore. he’d scream out Kyungsoo’s name and the phrase “i am dating him” in front of the whole anti-gay community if he had to.

Kyungsoo expects Jongin to react. He honestly expected his hold to tighten against him but he didn't count for the younger to show off his relationship with him. It made him feel elated and embarrassed at the same time so he quickly tugs Jongin forward, blushing to the roots of his hair as they finally walk out towards Jongin's car.

"What was that for?" he grumbles, cheeks still flushed at the unexpected show from Jongin. He makes a face, scrunching up his nose before turning to Jongin with a much more softer expression. "They weren't doing anything, Jongin. You didn't need to be so protective." he says. "But thank you, nonetheless." he whispers after, ducking down so Jongin wouldn't see the redness on his face darkening again. He slows down, waiting for Jongin to lead them the way as he fiddles with his phone.

It's been a few days since he heard that Jongdae was out in the muggle world and he has been forgetting to text the younger male, all thanks to Jongin and his distractions so he quickly types a message, asking how the younger was. He misses Jongdae, that was certain.

#kaidors #fine #ur car #u rich bastard #._.#and go to sleep soon

to the cin--

He doesn’t know when or how they managed to come up with the idea of watching a movie together ; it’s been so long since the last time they did that the idea rarely even pops into Jongin’s mind. But he’s happy that it did though, because now he’s going to spend some time with Kyungsoo. Okay, during the movie — he probably wouldn’t. Knowing just how Kyungsoo gets into the film way too much. At first it bothered Jongin, but now it’s kind of cute ( maybe with the help of reminding himself constantly that movies are meant to be watched and not to be made as a background music as you make out ).

Picking out a random shirt from his closet and grabbing a random coat on, Jongin replies a ‘just a bit’ when he hears his boyfriend calling. He almost forgets to take the small box of chocolates he had hid in the depths of his closet just earlier today and the single store-bought white rose. He takes a look at himself in the mirror one last time, the box of chocolates and well wrapped rose in his hands.

When he exits the room, he smiles as he makes his way to Kyungsoo by the door. “Happy far-away-from-our-anniversary anniversary day” he says, just really an excuse for his cheesiness. Jongin laughs before extending his arms to hand it to the other. “You can leave these here actually”

Kyungsoo looks up when the sound of their bedroom door opening reaches his ears, watching curiously as Jongin comes out with a sheepish expression on his face. He snorts when the younger finishes explaining, gratefully accepting the rose and chocolates and then kissing his boyfriend on the cheek. Though he tries so hard not to show it, he's still embarrassed and shy whenever Jongin does stuff like this for him. He still can't quite get the hang of being the one Jongin want and the younger never fails to rouse the butterflies inside his stomach.

"Why do you have to give me this before we go out?" he laughs, keeping the chocolates inside the fridge and then placing the rose carefully on top of his book resting on the kitchen counter. He stares at it for a few more seconds before facing Jongin and tiptoeing slightly to fix his hair. He smiles, looking at Jongin and patting his cheek before lacing their fingers and gently tugging.

"Come on. We're going to be late." he says, trying to keep the excitement from his voice even as he constantly leads Jongin out of the apartment. He squints his eyes when they go out, some of the neighbors going out as well and he awkwardly smiles at them when they stare, not knowing if that was a good or bad thing.

#kaidors #ikr #so long #loooong ago

to the cin--

Kyungsoo was excited, like, really really excited. Why? Because they were going to the cinema. Him and Jongin. Sure, they might have went to a cinema already but that was just once and they were just starting to date back then. He wasn't even sure if Jongin still remember that. He thinks it's all hazy but he vaguely remembers having his first sexual encounter with Jongin inside the darkness of the theater.

The memory make him scoff and blush at the same time. He feels shy all of a sudden so he quickly shrugs on his coat and wraps his scarf around his neck in case he suddenly backs off. It's rare for him to have a proper date with his boyfriend so every time they have a chance to have one, he's always this excited. It's not cool when your boyfriend have to go a few times a month just because he's needed by his father and his rich ass family.

"Jongin, where are you?" he calls out just as he's putting his shoes on. He doesn't want to be late since he's waiting for this movie to come on for such a long time. "Hurry up, Jongin!"

#kaidors #cinema #bc he wants #much #huhuhu

Somewhere in his mind, his subconscious is jumping up and down in his throw, thousands of naked kyungsoo grinning up at him as he does so. Oh the wonders of the mind. He thinks he’s finally got Kyungsoo hooked when he’s asked to lay on his back — little did he know a massage is actually the only thing he could get. With a disinterested stare, Jongin gives up but the massage was nice though, so he got that going for him.

When he feels the weight leave his back Jongin shifts so he’s laying on his side. He nods his head at the suggestion, guessing he doesn’t really have much choice now. So he gets up, plants his knees on either side of Kyungsoo’s hips but he doesn’t sit on him because he’s heavier than Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo is small. Jongin actually gives the best massages; just the right amount of pressure. He starts on the back of his neck, to his shoulders. “good?”

He's always known that Jongin is good at giving massages, he could still remember the day when he gave up his virginity to him. Jongin had massaged him when he woke up and he felt extremely light at the thought. So he closes his eyes, sighing in content and whining. He drawls out a 'yes' when Jongin asks and repeatedly sighs.

He could feel sleep coming in a lot faster and he smiles distractedly, wondering how Jongin would react if he sees him fast asleep already. "Jongin." he calls out softly, "You should go sleep too. I don't want to leave you wide awake while I snore." he sleepily teases as he smiles up at him cutely even with his eyes closed.

#kaidors #snickers

It’s a total lie is Jongin says that he’s not slightly embarrassed — okay, a lot embarrassed by the boy’s rejection. He honestly, really thought that’s what kyungsoo wanted. Considering how he had acted just an hour ago. But now he’s hearing a thousand years of rejection (total exaggeration) from kyungsoo and Jongin really needs to work on building up a facade more because the look of total confusion and disappointment in his face, hes not doing a very good job in hiding.

Jongin continues kissing him though, but his lips responds in a less enthusiastic way and he picks Kyungsoo up properly before making his way to their bed, dropping the male’s body to his side of the bed. “alright, let’s go to sleep” he said, and this time he understands the boy’s reasons. You really can’t force someone to do it with you when they don’t want to, after all. he stands on the side of the bed, makes a move to remove the fabric that’s covering his upper body because Jongin feels all too hot all of a sudden. Though his child hood scars still paints the side of his stomach visibly, it doesn’t really hinder the view of his honey abs — plus, he’s not that insecure of them anymore. Kyungsoo’s seen more than enough of them.

Before Jongin heads to bed, he grabs the bottle of minty rub on one of their drawers. He scoops a considerate amount in his hands before he rubs them slowly and delibrately down his chest. It feels really good, and he doesn’t even realize that he’s closing his eyes, head tilting in ways they normally don’t as soft moans of relief escapes his lips. “could you spread some on my back, hyung?”

Kyungsoo frowns when he feels Jongin lose interest and he breaks the kiss, looking up at him and rolling his eyes because he knows Jongin all too well by now.But he agrees anyway, telling the younger to lay down on his stomach before he's straddling his back and pouring the liquid on his palms. He rubs his palms against each other before pressing them against Jongin's back.

"I'm sure I know the reason why you're suddenly asking me to massage your back at three in the morning." he deadpans, his hands not stopping as he presses harder on his lower back. "Imagine if I like your neck, I would probably gag because I'm going to taste this rub on your skin." he says matter-of-factly and then he's pulling away and groaning as he plops down on his back with a yawn.

"Try massaging me for a change." he suggests playfully.

#kaidors #short reply is short #orz

"I know I’m not, but we can roleplay" he grins. "they didn’t mind before, i’m sure they won’t mind again" he replies almost immediately because he really doesn’t want anything ruining this for him this time. "but if they call the cops on us, you can just be pretty and get us out of trouble" That was joke. he never would allow kyungsoo to use his ‘seducing power’ for anyone else. It was for him to see, and only for him to see.

He’s happy with Kyungsoo’s choice because truth be told he liked it better that way. Legs around the waist means rough and whilst Jongin actually liked making love in a gentle way, he prefers rough more often than not. He likes it when Kyungsoo’s panting. He likes the image of his chest heaving up and down ever so rapidly. He likes to hear his breathy moans and his pledges for him to go faster. Just the thought of it makes Jongin excited and he breathes in and out to calm himself.

When Kyungsoo legs are wrapped around his waist he moves his hand down, palms spread open to grab his ass but at the same time, keeping him supported ( that’s fucking teamwork). He grins at the male for the last time before he showers him with kisses, staying at their spot for awhile before he finally stumbles down the hallway and on to their room. Jongin doesn’t put Kyungsoo down and instead presses him up against the closed door. He pulls away and whispers a “okay, rough or gentle?” we gotta admit it, he’s gotta ask that.

"Don't drag me into your sexual fantasies, please." Kyungsoo replies, swinging his legs on either side of Jongin because he likes being carried like this -- pampered. He closes his eyes, lazily kissing Jongin back and letting the younger gain the upper hand. He just stays there, following Jongin's lead and enjoying the fact that Jongin wants him.

He pretends he's not bothered by the hand on his ass but he can't pretend no longer when he feels his back against the door's surface. He opens his eyes and blinks in astonishment at his boyfriend, wondering why the hell the younger male was embarrassing as fuck. "You're not-- You're not seriously serious on having sex are you?" he asks in disbelief. It was three in the morning and he wants to wake up and make breakfast and not sleep throughout the day because he's tired as fuck. Literally.

"Can't we just kiss and fall asleep?" he whines, punctuating his suggestion by nibbling on Jongin's lower lip and kissing him softly, fitting his lips against the younger male as slow as he could. He's honestly too lazy to move and all he wants to do is just bask on Jongin's presence and maybe fall asleep with his heart stuttering for his boyfriend.

#kaidors #you should sleep

He groans when he could practically feel the smile on Kyungsoo’s lips when they continue to kiss. “stop laughing — or smiling” he warns, kissing the side of his lips before he pulls away, suddenly so wide awake. He stands up straight and does a small bit of a stretching exercise with his hand before he bends his legs down again to a squatting position. “alright, time for your prince to carry you back home and make love to you in the most passionate way, princess” he says with a smirk, slipping his arm in between Kyungsoo’s folded legs with his other hand supporting his back.

Jongin picks Kyungsoo up from the floor with a groan, the playful smirk still on his face. He doesn’t mean to ruin the moment, but there’s a serious question that’s lingering at the tip of his tongue as he looks down at kyungsoo: “would it be sexier if your legs were wrapped around my waist or would it be sexier if i threw you to bed while carrying you like this?” He spends a bit of a time contemplating which way he should pursue, and he really thanks Kyungsoo for being this light.

"Jongin, you're not a prince and I'm certainly not a princess." Kyungsoo dryly comments, but it doesn't stop the giggle from coming out when he feels himself being carried. "And also, it's three in the morning. I'm pretty sure our neighbors won't like it if they hear.. uh, us." he awkwardly continues before he's laughing again. He squirms slightly, nudging Jongin and grinning.

"Legs around your waist." he says matter-of-factly, the laughter not dying down because he's not too sure if he's able to be turned on right now because he finds the situation really cute... and funny. "And the fact that you just asked for my opinion is really weird, just so you know."

So he clambers on Jongin awkwardly until his thighs are wrapped around Jongin's hips, arms loosely hooked around Jongin's neck and laughter still in tact. He likes it like this; wants everyday to be this light and he wishes it against the skin on Jongin's neck, sealing his own fantasies away with a kiss.

#kaidors #im #awake-r #is that even a word

He finds himself smiling just a little bit at the words he hears from the older male. Jongin might not know exactly how hard it is for kyungsoo to say those words because it’s not his persona to, but he can imagine just how much. and he appreciates that, jongin really does. he sighs contentedly at the fingers running through his locks of hair. When he’s asked to look up, Jongin does so. The sleepy smile is still on his face as he looks at him with his eyes half open. ”hey beautiful” he mutters in a hello and Jongin blinks until his eyes are opened fully again.

Nodding his head in acknowledgement to the older male’s words, Jongin moves his head up to place a quick peck on Kyungsoo’s jaw. “I love you” He whispers in a husky voice, shifting so he’s in a more comfortable spot when he finally decides to land a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. That one peck seemed to serve Jongin like coffee. The need to sleep fades away quickly and Jongin really doesn’t care if it’s almost three in the morning , and he looks like he’s just risen from the dead. He hopes kyungsoo doesn’t mind too because he already wants more of his boyfriend. He whispers as his lips hover over Kyungsoo’s, “No fighting anymore when we could’ve just been making love. kiss me.”

"You're drunk." Kyungsoo blurts out with a hint of laughter. He adores Jongin when he's barely awake, the sleepiness making him cuter and Kyungsoo could just not smile at him. He laughs eventually when he feels Jongin's lips against him followed by his words. It shouldn't have been funny but it is when Jongin's looking at him like that at barely three in the morning.

"And I didn't know we were fighting?" he asks with the most innocent expression he could muster. He's still laughing even when he leans down, connecting their lips in a soft kiss and smiling all throughout. He tugs on Jongin's bottom lip with his teeth, dragging his tongue against them before letting go and burying his face on the crook of Jongin's neck. The laughter is gone but the smile on his face can't seem to be disappearing so he allows himself to indulge in the moment, fingers tracing patterns on Jongin's skin, just under his shirt as he starts to hum unconsciously.

#kaidors #fics are up1 #!

Jongin wants to stay up ; tries his best to stay up but it’s a little bit hard. he finds it weird how when they’re laying Jongin isn’t as sleepy as he is now but now that he’s on the floor, unable to lay his body down because of the cold floor, sleep hits him like a bullet train. He slips out of his consciousness for who knows how long until he’s awakened again when he feels someone beside him. Jongin welcomes the warmth, snuggling closer to Kyungsoo so the blanket would fit them better. He tries not to smile, there’s a perfect sized bed that’d fit the two of them just a couple of steps away yet they’re here, on the cold floor, barely fitting in one blanket.

"i’m sorry" he whispers, shifting once again so his head is on kyungsoo’s shoulder and his mouth right directly in front of his neck. "i didn’t mean to say those words" He’s half awake and half asleep as he places a soft kiss on the patch of skin on kyungsoo’s neck that his lips finds. "please don’t leave me, please don’t get sick of me" he continues, and his words are a bit slurred, his tone akin to his tone when he’s drunk. "i’ll learn and be better, just please don’t leave me" His hand moves to grip on Kyungsoo’s shirt. and Jongin grips it tightly. "please"

Kyungsoo shushes him the moment he hears Jongin say sorry. It's like Kyungsoo's placating a big baby but Jongin just feels so small in his arms; like he's going to break just by Kyungsoo's words. He feels guilt flare up inside him even more because he's the one that caused this. He's the one who reduced Jongin into this insecure mess again and he should have known better than to leave their room, fueled only by hurtful words and sensitive heart.

"I'm never going to leave you, Jongin." he whispers, smiling even though the situation is anything but funny because he had always secretly like clingy Jongin. He lowers a hand, prying the younger's fingers away from his shirt and instead pulling it to wrap around his waist before the hand goes up and tangle on Jongin's hair, softly moving back and forth. "I'm just really a little bit selfish for leaving you alone in their. I'm sorry, okay?" he whispers softly, nudging the younger to look up before he kisses his temple. "I'll never leave you."

#kaidors #sleepy

He somehow knows he won’t be able to get the older male to move from his spot. so he makes a compromise to himself. He turns his back on Kyungsoo to head back to their room. Jongin comes back a few minutes later with a pair of pillows and a blanket. Placing the pillows on the coffee table first, he spreads the blanket enough to cover the male on the couch ( making sure his feet are covered well). One pillow goes on the empty spot beside Kyungsoo’s head for when his neck stars to ache and he decides he doesn’t want to suffer from that.

The other pillow is for him so the base of the couch won’t hurt his back so much when he leans on it. He sits on the floor, just beside Kyungsoo’s face and he stares at the dark reflection he sees of them in the television. The clock above it says it’s half past two in the morning. Jongin rubs his eyes in an attempt to wipe the sleepiness away but it doesn’t work because he finds his head dropping soon after despite his attempts of staying up. He’s cold, but it doesn’t bother him much.His toes curls up and he’s suddenly so thankful Kyungsoo agreed on putting a carpet in the living room.

The sound of footsteps disappearing makes Kyungsoo's heart constrict. He's so, so sure Jongin would drag him back to bed and the realization that it's the second time that night Jongin rejected him makes tears prick at the back of his eyes. He sucks in a breath, willing himself to sleep when footsteps appear again. And then the rustling of fabric before he's being jostled around. He stares wide-eyed at the back of the couch when he feels pillows under his head, the warmness covering him welcomed before he feels another type of warmth near him.

It took him a few more minutes to turn around and watch Jongin's vain attempt at keeping warm. He feels guilty but it doesn't compare to the warmth filling him when he sees Jongin sitting there and waiting. He bites back a smile as he sits up, blanket sliding down and then he's gathering them on his arms. He kicks his pillow down beside Jongin and sits there, arms pressed on each other as he covers them both with the blanket and sighs contentedly. He turns on his side, hugging Jongin childishly and whining about how he's so cold even when he's still smiling.

#kaidors #it's okay #B)

When he feels the other side of the bed emptied and the sound of the bedroom door cracking open, Jongin sprawls himself wide on the bed that was meant for two. it irritates him. why does he have to say those things. Jongin kicks the mattress several times because he wants to scream but knows better than to. He stares at the ceiling long enough before he places an arm to cover his eyes. his lips are slightly parted, his breathing uneven with his heartbeat beating loudly in his ears.

Jongin is well aware of hat he should do next. The all-too-sudden heavy pressure that appears on his chest makes it known that he can’t just sleep this night away. So Jongin sits up, ruffling his hair in an aggressive manner as his gaze lands on the sheets and it stays there for a good while as he successfully attempts to arrange his thoughts. It was wrong of him to act like that. Especially when Kyungsoo always does his best to calm him down when it’s the other way around. Soon enough he drags his feet to exit the enclosed room, and he stops just when he sees Kyungsoo’s figure on the couch.

"hyung, come back to bed" he says softly, sliding his feet against the floor and stopping a feet away from the older male. he hated how he’s the reason for kyungsoo to be like this. "i’m sorry i said those things. please, come back to bed. it’s cold out here"

Kyungsoo honestly hopes Jongin wouldn't follow him. Not when his thoughts are a mess and he just wants to be alone because he's too tired to rationalize things this late at night. He just wants to flop around and lay lifeless on the couch; feel like he's floating on air because even talking seemed too much work to do. But of course things won't go his way because minutes later, he hears the door open and soft footsteps heading his way.

He bites his lip in guilt when he hears Jongin's voice. He knows the younger is probably killing himself for acting that way to him. And he feels even more guiltier because he knows Jongin would never let him alone here; knows that Jongin wouldn't be able to sleep without him by his side. And it's a guilt he indulges because it's nice to be reminded that he's wanted. Even if it has to be this way.

"My feet's cold." he murmurs, not addressing Jongin directly but he knows he'll be able to catch up. He buries himself closer on the couch and sighs, curling his toes to keep himself warm. It was actually a really bad idea to go here especially when Jongin's waiting for him a few feet away from him.

#kaidors #muse muse muse

Jongin blinks at Kyungsoo. He’s more than confused at the male’s reaction — not to mention a bit frustrated but he does a good job in hiding that small part of him. It’s the hardest part in having Kyungsoo as a lover. Kyungsoo could read him like an open book, the older male memorizes his every expression but Kyungsoo is ever moving. You could never memorize him because Jongin thinks he changes his patterns way too much. He doesn’t mind though, it gives him a challenge, but right now it bothers him.

Kyungsoo is confusing.

”well right now you’re kind of confusing me, too” he replied, his voice is a bit dry and he doesn’t even realize he had replied like that until after the sound escapes his lips. He’s offended at the once again assumption. ”are you really asking me that? why can’t you just believe me?” he followed up, looking at Kyungsoo straight in the eyes. He tells himself to stop, because he knows where this will be heading if he continues on.

and he does.

He exhales loudly, shifting on his spot so his back is facing the other male. He’s done trying for tonight. “alright,” he replies, placing a pillow over his head and in between his legs. “let’s just sleep then.”

Kyungsoo knows Jongin has a tendency to overreact; to blow up things out of proportion. They both know it and they also both know how hard Jongin is trying to keep himself in control. But it still comes as a shock to hear the tone Jongin used on him, and it hurts. He's not used to being treated this coldly and Jongin's words were harshly cold, cutting through the edges of his emotions and suddenly, it's too hard to breathe.

He doesn't reply, just stares at the back he rarely has to see before he slips out from under the sheets. He takes a deep breath, steadying himself a few more times as he drags his feet towards the kitchen. He doesn't know what to feel. Is this him throwing himself out of their bedroom, because it looks like it. It looks funny on television sitcoms but the truth hurts a thousand times more when he plops down on the couch and closes his eyes.

He sits there for a few seconds before letting his back slide sideways until he's awkwardly curled on the couch. Playful thoughts from earlier now turning serious little creepers on the back of his head, whispering yes to all his dark wonderings. So he presses his eyes close, harder. The black dotted with white as he hugs his knees towards his chest tighter because it's lonely. Incredibly lonely.

#kaidors #why is this painful-

If there was anything Jongin got used to, one of them would be the way Kyungsoo answers some of his questions. His mouth purses into a pout as he shrugs his shoulders light “well, yes but you know how i was before you came” he says — in an intention to be his defense but he soon realizes that’s not much of a defensive state for himself really.

When he stares at the face of the man before him, Jongin knows Kyungsoo is thinking. And he really does wish he could read his mind because Kyungsoo barely ever tells him even half of the thoughts in his mind. He lets a smile sit on his lips when their eyes finally meet, hand latching in a lazy manner on the boy’s waist. “it’s okay, hyung” he reassures, because that’s the only thing he knows how to do at the moment.

Jongin pulls Kyungsoo closer to his chest, hand going back to their place of playfully tracing the skin behind the fabric covering them on the back of the older male. They should sleep. But for some reason Jongin’s stalling them from doing so and he doesn’t really know why. He coughs out his words before muttering, “if you’re not tired you should kiss me” Jongin doesnt know if it would work, but he doesn’t really mind if it doesn’t too. it’s a good try, after all.

"Your hand is under my shirt and you're asking me to kiss you when you could have done it yourself." Kyungsoo says blankly, eyes staring daggers on Jongin's soul because he's thoroughly agitated with Jongin (and himself). "See? This is why you get me confused." he throws his arms up in exaggerated movements, honestly confused because he isn't exactly sure if Jongin really wants him or he just took pity on his immatureness from earlier.

"Am I really good in bed or are you just sucking it up because I'm your boyfriend?" he asks suddenly, eyes getting bright because the thought of Jongin actually just trying to placate him is making him want to cry and bawl because he knows that he's boring. He says it to himself often.

Trapping his lower lip between his teeth, he tries to imagine all the times they did it and he wonders if all that is a fake. So he closes his eyes, sighs heavily and drapes an arm over his eyes. "Can we just go to sleep,please?"

#kaidors #only u tho #B)

When the older male makes a move of pulling his shirt down, Jongin stops all the movement in his hand. and although Kyungsoo can’t see it, Jongin finds a small smile creeping up his face at the words spewing out of the older male’s lips. Though Kyungsoo had shown this side of him to Jongin for so many times since they started dating, Jongin still can’t seem to get used to it. He likes it, though, because it helps him see that he’s not the only one who can be weak in the relationship.

Jongin finds it funny how it never really occurs to him to leave Kyungsoo be. He doesn’t mind though, because he always finds joy in seeing Kyungsoo’s reaction to his words. The way he smiles when Jongin finds just the right thing to say in a situation. He moves closer to him, arm and hand still still on Kyungsoo’s waist whilst his chin rests just on kyungsoo’s shoulder. “I’m not rejecting you, hyung” he clarifies. he really wasn’t. “i’ll never reject you. like i said, i was scared you’d think that all i wanted from you is sex”

"Wouldn't it have occurred to you that I should have thought of that when we just started having sex in the first place?" Kyungsoo asks dryly, blunt words digging on both their skins. He's afraid his words seemed hostile to Jongin because it really wasn't his intention -- he's just immature. And it's really ironic because he calls Jongin a child more than once a day and yet here he is, acting like a total brat just because he thinks he got rejected.

And yet he thinks it's probably because it's Jongin that he's able to be like this. He's so used to being the mature one; being the serious one out of the bunch that sometimes he forgets he's human too. And Jongin makes him feel so human -- so vulnerable.

"I don't think like that, Jongin." he finally says, turning on his hold and facing Jongin, expression uncertain. "I'm just being a child." he confesses, lowering his head and hiding his face on Jongin's shirt. "It's embarrassing."

#kaidors #is this push or pull--

Jongin thinks Kyungsoo’s cute when he thinks he can put up a facade right in front of him. They’ve been together long enough for Jongin to know when Kyungsoo is upset. It’s an instinct he picked up along the way. especially when kyungsoo doesn’t often show what he was really feeling inside. When he sees Kyungsoo rolling on his stomach, Jongin bites his lower lip. He shifts so he’s facing the other male, throwing his arm over his waist again.

"hey," he calls out, the side of his face planted on the pillow as he looks at the back of Kyungsoo’s head. His arm is around the boy’s waist, playing at the hem of his shirt and teasing the skin it finds there once again. "you’re not a very good actor" he chuckles weakly, moving in closer to place a kiss on the boy’s shoulder. "i hope you know i didn’t mean anything by that. i just didn’t want you to think sex is all i want from you" he wishes he knew a better way to say it. something more sweeter, more profound and more.. well, convincing. because jongin means it. "you have no idea how much you mean to me, hyung" he whispers lazily as he plants another kiss on his shoulder. "no idea at all"

He hastily tries to pull down his shirt, sighing loudly and nodding because he's the one being childish right now. "I know you aren't." he mumbles against his pillow, hunching his shoulders involuntarily at the touch. "It's childish. I'm childish." he continues, slurring his words as he hugs the pillow tighter against him. Most often than not, he can be really childish and immature and even if he tries so hard, he couldn't seem to drop that character. So he sighs once more, turning on his back again but with his eyes still closed.

"It's just, you know, embarrassing because I thought you wanted me to and I wanted it too and I got rejected." he laughs after, knowing how stupid that sounded. But he was being honest about how he felt and it was even more embarrassing. How can Jongin do this without even feeling insecure every time Kyungsoo denies him, he will never know.

#kaidors #shortens it even moer #B))

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