Fanfiction preferences may vary, but our love for Jongin is the common thread that binds us! In this episode, we’re diving into the beautiful contrast within fanfiction literature—because different perspectives don’t have to clash; they can coexist and make our fandom experience even richer.
A very warm welcome to listeners and my guests here today. I am Alexio Sospranio, and you're listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
These few days we will be celebrating Kai’s military discharge by talking to moderators of the Ultimate Top Kim Jongin and Nini Planet fic fests.
Just a brief rundown of what will happen in this episode. This episode is a two part episode. First part was posted two days ago on the 12th, the second part is today, the 14th. Please give that episode a listen before listening to this episode.
Previously, the first part we discussed how the Jongin centric fests came about, vetting content, maintaining check ins and deadlines.
Today, on the 14th we will be looking at the applications they use, the fests promotion and support from the community and ship statistics.
Creative Aspect
Nini Planet and Ultimate Top, this is a fest that you put your heart and soul into. I can't imagine the amount of work you put in. Apart from the ones we have mentioned on moderation and prompts, it is important to acknowledge the creative aspect of creating the fest on your personal end. We are looking specifically at engaging in the fest visually. The designing of the account’s profile picture and header on twitter, the poster for the schedule, the individual program in the schedule, the poster for prompts for Nini Planet and for the fic postings for Ultimate… I am very sure I'm missing some posters of your fests, but do enlighten us, what is your inspiration for the posters? Feel free to get as specific or brief as you'd like.
Maybe we can have Mod Rose share Ultimate's inspiration for the posters?
Oh so this is the part where I usually require help from more creative helpful people! I do not make the graphics, I think I did for one round only and they weren't good lol
I have had at least 4 people help me! I would love to send my appreciation and gratitude to N ,O and M. Thank you so much for making the fest pretty!
At the moment, Mod Bat is helping me with this round, thank you so much, my love. They are all talented. I just tell them I am thinking red or deep blue or a Christmas theme and they do their magic and make something that's better than what I imagined!
Wow. It is very forward thinking and resourceful of you. Reaching out when you know your skills may not be the best and letting go to let the moderator take charge in coming to work towards a shared vision. I would also like to thank Mod Bat for helping Mod Rose in making the fest come alive, and to N O and M as well for your past efforts.
Now Nini Planet, how do things happen in that part of the ship dynamics?
Mod Nini: My co-mod and I are, unfortunately, working adults now. Work, studies, and family keep us busy, and that is why it’s somewhat hard for us to find proper time for hunting for templates these days. However, even then I admit that we spend a few hours each day looking for templates before or during the round. Our main goal is to get as close as possible to our round’s theme, to find the most suitable templates. It is easier to visually represent the round’s idea then;show rather than tell happens a lot here. We take a little bit of freedom in our header and profile picture, but others strictly follow the round’s theme.
It is nice to know that there is a continued effort in trying to keep the ficdom alive, in our own little ways. In the little pockets of time that we have in between work, studies and social life. And truly, that is what makes me respect people who engage in fandom. Fandom life is part of a whole. It is not the whole being, rather we do what we can within our means to make life fun and add value in a way? Engaging in what initially makes us happy, then having what we love, be loved by others too. Other fans who support you, see the vision that you have for Jongin in the ficdom.
Going back to the question on the visual aspect for inspiration, briefly, what designing applications do you use?
Mod Nini: Canva, mostly. We haven’t really found a more suitable space to create templates.
And i have to agree, canva is truly the best. Used to its full potential, it does wonders and produces quality. Is that the same for Ultimate Top, Mod Rose?
Yes, and I am pretty sure canvas is the most used one, at least when I helped that's what they shared with me.
Talking about applications, what other platforms do you use to facilitate the steps for the fest? You can share in terms of prompt claims, collating sign ups, prompts archive.
Mod Nini: Google forms to keep track of most of the things. We make everything else that needs to go on the template on Canva. Besides those, we have a padlet so that our writers, artists, or readers can leave encouraging messages to others in the fandom; and now a Twitter community where all of us can come together and discuss anything related to bottom Jongin in and outside of the fest.
Google, Canva, Padlet and a Twitter Community. I find that very endearing. We love Jongin in this way. What about for Ultimate Top, Mod Rose, how different or similar platforms do you use?
Google forms to collect prompts, sign ups, check ins and final submissions. I found out it's much easier and less work for participants to just fill prompts instead of writing emails.
Google sheets for me to keep everything in order.
obviously emails, twitter to keep in contact with everyone.
curiouscat or retrospring to answer anonymous questions and last but not least the ol famous ao3 to share the fics
Google as always, forms sheets gmail, anonymous qna sites and ao3.
Judging from the applications used, the sequence I guess is pretty standard as well? But it is a lot, juggling the different platforms.
Please correct me if i'm wrong but, a general fest schedule looks like this:
Teaser
Prompting or prompt reveal
Submissions
Postings
Guess the Author
Author Reveals
Don't forget in between prompts and submissions there are the Check ins for us mods to vett.
Promotion and Support
With the designs done, next is the promotion of the fests on twitter. Throughout your journey, how do you gear up for a fest?
Mod Nini: We begin by dropping hints before officially starting a round. It helps in keeping a little bit of mystery over the theme, although I am sure not much. We do little to hide them. Of course, outside that it is necessary for us to be mindful of the schedule. We have recently started a community on Twitter for bottom Jongin, both so that everyone can come together and so that we can share any updates related to the fest.
Am aware of the Community on Twitter! Actually I think when it was first promoted, I joined in on the fun too. But yea having a bit of mystery keeps readers on our feet, wanting more.
And how does Ultimate Top gear up for a fest?
We share a countdown of some type and we pray followers will do their thing and bring the fest alive lol
We also ask help from other fests to spread the word about the new round! A rt or a quick quote helps immensely so thanks to everyone!
Good, good the ficdom is supportive of each other. Very encouraging.
I assume in the beginning of your endeavours, it took a while to get the reach you have now. Could you share a bit about that? What was your commitment like for the fest in the beginning?
Mod Gominie: Very different, if I have to be honest. Noticing a lack of Bottom Jongin then, and even now, I suggested the idea of a fest of this kind first to my friend, and she agreed immediately. We were excited, but I admit we didn’t really have an idea how to properly care for a fest. Our initial goal was to bring together everyone who was looking for the same thing, that is Bottom Jongin, in the fandom. But we didn’t have an idea on how to properly make that happen. We made a lot of mistakes. In the beginning, you can say our commitment was simultaneously to make fewer mistakes all the while providing a platform for our readers and creators. We had a lot to learn.
I see, I hear you. It can be quite difficult when you start from a brilliant idea but have no idea on how to initially execute it.
And Mod Rose, how were things on your end?
i was very committed to say the least, to see this fest blossom our first round was slow but the second one was just woah
I think that's our best round in regards to engagement and how many people joined!
With you putting in effort in that way, i am sure it is very rewarding to have gained creative support from writers and artists alike. Could you share with us how your commitment to the fest changed over time?
Mod Nini: I will say a lot. In the beginning, the idea of the fest just meant fostering a safe space where we can share Bottom Jongin stories. However, after receiving a series of hateful messages in our CC, we almost dropped the idea of running the fest altogether. It was endless, and I will admit it affected us a lot. However, we soon realized that we weren’t alone. We received a lot of encouraging messages from our writers, artists, and readers, and that was one of the reasons why we decided to stay. We had to close the CC and find a new way for everyone to contact us, but even now I can say that we are glad that we got over it. In short, I will say that our motives have changed a lot in these years. From merely wanting to foster a safe space for sharing stories, now our focus largely lies on our writers, artists and readers. We aim to foster a safe space for them through our fest as well.
Hearing you say that, makes me feel quite emotional. It is of course very disheartening to have people send hate comments for something you put your heart and soul into. But then as you experience first hand, Nini Planet is the community. You keep doing it, you keep striving and find strength in the people who see your value to the ficdom and for those who contribute. When it gets out of the targeted audience, that is when things become difficult. But never lose that sense of passion in the things you believe in, dear.
To go on a slight tangent, there is a huge problem now in the shipdom on twitter. Fans police the kind of ships there are. We see homophobic behaviour and ship shaming behaviour criminalising personal preferences. As if it is a threat to kaisoo and by extension other people kaisoo interacts with. Truly disheartening because these are people we love in the limited way we know them. With reference to the ficdom, we respect different ships, explore kinks ksoo loves (jongin) feet in a safe way, dive into an array of tropes and the varied dynamics between characters.
Let;s go back to the topic at hand, on the commitment development over the years. How has it changed overtime, Mod Rose?
I feel with time I realized that I needed to relax a bit so it's not as stressful. I started this to have fun and enjoy the Top Jongin community and the works and I had to stop treating it as a chore or I will not wanna do it anymore.. I still give it my best of course but somehow it's much less work than it used to be when I stressed over each entry and each anonymous ask. Now it's more fun. also I think the slowdown in the exo fic community in general played a big role. since we are no longer getting like 80 participants in one round or something. that's kinda sad though lol
And when you have the strength from the writers and artists, naturally readers and viewers get stirred up with excitement. What excites you the most when putting together the fest?
Mod Nini: The stories, of course! My co-mod and I have known each other for almost seven years now, and one of the reasons for this long-lasting friendship are the stories we write, read, and share with each other. We started the fest with the hope that we will be able to find more creators and readers like us, and we can proudly say that we have done that much. Our first and foremost attention, besides the new stories, is always on our creators and readers. So the idea of exciting them excites us the most, even before we announce a round.
What a community you have. But wow, Mod Nini and Mod Gominie knowing each other for seven years… that is really long. It is proof that you can have long lasting friendships when you have common hobbies, what more creatively engage in the things you love.
And Mod Rose, what is the most exciting part when putting together a fest?
The claiming period! Seeing my favorite authors/artists joining my fest never fails to make me squeal in happiness lol in every round! then you see new authors join the community and that's so heartwarming. also people who were on hiatus coming back. and I get to see what prompt they take, and I am so filled with expectation and excitement that I cannot share lol that's why I always share ships stats because I want yall excited with me
Oh wow! Some authors on hiatus coming back! I can't wait to see who!
Okay so this segment has been on the fest promotion and community support you have to aid your fest.
Mod Rose, you just mentioned you also get excited in sharing ship stats, so let’s look at them now.
Ships
Mod Rose, we start with Ultimate: what does the ship statistics look like?
Unsurprisingly, it's mostly big ships and some rare pairs if we are lucky! lately it has been kaisoo dominating the charts with almost 50% prompts or claims. There is sekai too of course right after. and then chankai which is very surprising actually seeing it's a big kai ship but not one that has a lot of Top Jongin!
I love each Jongin ship so I am happy if it's in our collection no matter how much fics and arts it gets! and I want to thank some kaisooists since we are on this topic because not only you guys give life to the fest with many prompts, fics and arts, kudos or comments but i have seen kaisoo readers also read other ships and give them love and it's so heartwarming thank you so much for that!!
50% prompts or claims on kaisoo…Top Jongin kaisooist enthusiasts we are fed well! I dont want to see no one complaining about the lack of kaisoo fics no mo. Even outside fests, we do have kaisoo fics being published. Although not at a large quantity nor as fast, there ARE kaisoo fics out there.
And what about for Nini Planet, what are your ship statistics like as well?
Mod Nini: Our most popular ships happen to be kaisoo and sekai. We get others, too, though we have noticed a decline in particular pairings, such as chankai. We encourage creators of all ships to join our fest, but we cannot always tell how many joiners we will end up attracting to our latest project. So, most of the time, we see kaisoo ,sekai, baekai, chankai, in that order, and sometimes even rare pairings like sukai, among others. It is nice to see such variety, honestly. It really encourages us.
Indeed that is a variety! It truly goes to show how Jongin is loved by so many, and the kind heart that he has that fans can see his chemistry with the rest of the EXO members.
We are now nearing the end of these two long episodes.
Last few questions i would like to ask is:
What are the classic fics of the fest? Feel free to share other ships if it is one, but also share kaisoo ones!
For Nini Planet, in your view, what has been the best monthly challenge so far?
Mod Gominie: I think that has a very subjective answer. For Mod Nini it’s round 13th, Shattered Promises. She is obsessed with angst. For me, my favorite themes from the ones we did so far are royalty, historical, and college AU. It’s also nice to see how many people are interested in the different themes, since it gives us an idea of what interests our audience the most.
Is the fic you would consider classic from that monthly challenge as well?
Mod Gominie: It’s hard to say. There have been quite a lot of fics that still stay with us to this day, and not necessarily from the challenges we did. We are truly thankful for all the joiners and readers who made our fest possible, we wouldn’t have gotten this far without them.
Mod Rose, how about things in that part of the ship dynamics? A must read or a legendary fic that has been written in any of the rounds?
lil.o.liat
Ending Ments
I always acknowledge that when individuals like the both of you, dear Mod Rose and Nini Planet engage in these kinds of things for the fandom, you put yourself out there vulnerably. You do these things for free, have an active social and work lives on the daily yet as an outlet you take your irreplaceable time to do these things for us. With that said, I sincerely thank you for the work you have put in for the ficdom. Appreciating authors, artists, moderators and organisers in this manner is what I can do. This podcast sheds light to these individuals who have shared a piece of themselves to the ficdom. And again, Mod Rose and Nini Planet , I would like to thank you for coming on board the podcast today.
We have reached the end of the episode. Mod Rose and Nini Planet, do you have any other running thoughts that you have that we did not cover today, and if you have do share with us any hints for upcoming fests you have in mind? What are your hopes and dreams for the fests?
Mod Gominie: I hope that, despite our busy personal schedules, we can run Nini Planet for as long as we can and continue to provide a positive and welcoming space for those who love bottom Jongin. I also hope that our fest can motivate and encourage those who always wanted to make their works public but are shy to do so.
Mod Nini: Honestly, I share the sentiments.
All I have to say is for people to be kind to authors, artists and mods. I know some people have hard preferences and that's okay, just show love to what you enjoy instead of wasting any energy on being hateful. when people make these communities they are seeking a safe place for their interests, just respect that please and remember we might be on different ends of a spectrum but ultimately we are here to celebrate Jongin for the wonderful person he is however we choose to interpret that
and yeah thanks for having me!!
Beautifully said, thank YOU Mod Rose.
Mod Gominie: Thank you for having us, we truly appreciate the opportunity! For hints, I’m just going to say that we have another special round planned and that there will be some slight modifications to our schedule.
Mod Nini: Thank you for having us! Admittedly, we started this fest after noticing a lack of bottom Jongin. In the years following the start of this fest, we have done and are doing our bit. However, we are truly grateful to our writers, artists, and readers for their support. Without them, none of this would have been possible. So, if you are listening to this, we want to assure you that we will keep working hard to provide you with a platform to support your writing and ideas. Thank you for being so kind to us!
Love it, love it, thank you thank you thank you Mod Gominie and Mod Nini. Your presence is missed, but we have you in spirit via our supportive and dedicated Marcus.
This is officially the end of the episode, to reach me I am kaisooficdrunk on twitter, and if you want you can drop me questions on my neospring with the same username. Additionally, if you have any suggestions or request of fics and or any segment you would like us to go through for the podcast, there is a gform link below as well. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today's episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Next month’s episode is with user kaispanties on twitter. I went over to their country for a short trip. I reached out to them to ask if we could do a recording together and they were agreeable. So i can't wait to edit that episode which has been sitting in my drafts since New Years.
With that, thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
Fanfiction preferences may vary, but our love for Jongin is the common thread that binds us! In this episode, we’re diving into the beautiful contrast within fanfiction literature—because different perspectives don’t have to clash; they can coexist and make our fandom experience even richer. Get ready for a fun, thought-provoking ride as we explore how diversity in storytelling brings us closer together!
A very warm welcome to listeners and my guests here today. If you are new here, I am Alexio Sospranio, and you're listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
These few days we will be celebrating Kai’s military discharge by talking to moderators of the Ultimate Top Kim Jongin and Nini Planet fic fests.
At the point of recording for this episode, Jongin has unfortunately not returned, meaning also that Nini Planet’s postings are already out, but Ultimate Top Kim Jongin’s postings are not out yet.
Part One
What unites the two fests is our most beloved Jongin of course.
The main thing that sets them apart is of course that one fest is top kai and another is bottom nini.
This is going to be a two parter episode, because there is a lot to discover and dive deep into the fic fests these moderators have put time and effort into.
This episode is a two part episode. First part is today, dated the 12th, second part will be on the 14th.
Today on the 12th is the first part where we will discuss how the two Jongin centric fests came to life, how prompts are organised. Managing deadlines, to find that sweet spot in managing expectations and interest of readers and having the writers to have power over their creative freedom.
The second part, on the 14th we will be going through the applications they use, the fests promotion and support from the community and ship statistics.
But as always, before the episode proper, I would like to take some time to introduce the representative moderators for the two fic fests.
First up we have Mod Rose from Ultimate Top Kim Jongin!
Mod Rose has been in this fandom since (late 2016 but only around 2017 stumbled into the ficdom), that's about (9 years?). The pull factor that got her into this fandom was (Jonginie) and (he was told go do an aegyo on a radio show, he said noona buy me chicken and had probably played it 1000 times) when she was (a struggling student). Mod Rose is currently into (naruto shippuden and the song on loop is always sinner by kai).
Welcome Mod Rose, we are pleased to have you on the kaisoo fic podcast! Do you have any opening comments you would like to make?
Well thanks for having me and excited for today!
The pleasure is all mine, i am equally as excited too!
Second guest for today’s episode we have Nini Planet! Neither of the Mods in Nini Planet are on this recording today. Unfortunately, due to schedules being unforgiving for the mods, they are unavailable. But we hope they come next time. For today we have the ever supportive and dedicated Marcus with us to voice over for them today. Marcus will take the persona of both Mod Gommie and Mod Nini.
Mod Gominie has been in this fandom since 2012, that's about 13 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was the predebut EXO teasers and Jongin was the first to catch her eye. Mod Gominie’s current obsession is BL manhwa and dramas. The Jongin song that she has been playing on loop recently is Say You Love Me by Kai.
Mod Nini has been in this fandom since 2018, that's over 6 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was Jongin and she fell in love with him the moment she saw him in “Call Me Baby.” Mod Nini is still into Jongin’s last album, Rover.
Welcome Mod Gominie and Mod Nini, we are pleased to have you on the kaisoo fic podcast! Do you have any opening comments you would like to make?
Mod Gominie: I’ve never participated in a podcast before so this is all new to me. Thanks for having us!
Mod Nini: Hello! I am happy to be a part of this episode. Though we never really imagined that we will get to share about our fest through a podcast, we will try our best to introduce ourselves and our fest nicely to the listeners.
I think that is the beauty of this podcast. We get to hear from the creatives in the ficdom. From writers to artists to readers to organisers of real life events to moderators like you for fic fests.
And likewise, I will do my best to make everyone’s participation pleasant.
Brace yourselves, this will be a long two episode recording.
Story of the Fest
Let’s just jump straight into the story behind the fest, how did the fic fest come about?
Let’s start with Mod Rose, representing Ultimate Top Kim Jongin in this episode. So dear Rose, what is the story behind the fest? Were there any specific moments during your fic reading days where you decided that, yes this fest must come alive?
In 2017, Top Jongin was a rarity. 2017 was when I officially entered the EXO ficdom, at the time Top Jongin authors and fics were becoming less and less. Soon I discovered fests and one Bottom Kyungsoo fest was posting at the moment. It had some amazing kaisoo fics with some of the best Top Jongin characterization i have seen and it got me thirstier for more Top Jongin.
i decided to make UTKJI fest then for more Top Jongin content! If the mods are by any chance hearing this thanks for the inspiration and for all the support that helped kick our fest successfully! and with that we had our first round in 2019!
That is very encouraging actually. You took matters into your own hands. You wanted something for yourself. You wanted more Top Jongin in a ficdom that at the time had more Bottom Jongin. You bridged the gap of not having enough Top Jongin by being the moderator of this Ultimate Top Kim Jongin fic fest as a solution for this thirst that you had. Doing something for yourself, and it seems evident until now that readers and viewers are very supportive, which shows actually that the work you do, is in service to the Top Jongin community.
What kept the fest going was the amazing support from all followers: authors, artists, prompters and readers. We made ourselves a lovely community and it's always nice to come back despite some of the hardships that come with running a fest!
Thank you Mod Rose for sharing the origin story of the Ultimate Top Kim Jongin fest.
Hearing from Ultimate, I'm eager to know the story behind Nini Planet!
How did you and your team get together, the story behind Nini Planet! What was the starting point or motivation behind curating so diligently the Bottom Nini Fest?
Mod Nini: We felt the same regarding bottom Jongin. Honestly, we cannot prove or disapprove any of our claims, but when we began reading fics at different points of time, we were introduced to top kai first. Both of us. However, we soon realized we wanted different things. Mod Gominie joined the fandom first, so she was well-versed with bottom Jongin by the time I joined the ficdom. In a way, she introduced me to the world of bottom Jongin, and I was eager to be a part of it. We came across many bottom Jongin writers and readers who had similar stories. It was after that that we decided to create this fest, to make sure we each have a platform to share what we have wanted to in all these years.
Prompts
One of the biggest differences that sets the two fests apart is not just the nature of Jongin in ships, but also the fact that Nini Planet generally have set guided prompts and Ultimate Top takes in prompt suggestions from readers.
In 2022, Nini Planet according to your archives it is reflected that you had challenges every month. Specifically for 2022, it seemed like a busy year for you, talk us through the process.
Firstly, when do you decide what type of challenge to do for the month?
Mod Gominie: For our monthly rounds, we decide the theme of our challenges near the end of each month, where we look through the theme suggestions provided by our creators and followers. For some of our longer rounds, we asked the participants to create their stories based on Jongin’s albums. They can take inspiration from lyrics, MV, or Film: Kai.This is either to celebrate Jongin’s birthday or him releasing a new album. We also do special rounds where there’s no theme restriction and creators are free to choose whichever theme they prefer.
It is very comforting to know that Nini Planet looks to their creators and followers in the ficdom. It is important to tap into the ideas of the people who are already in the community to garner support and gain strength.
From there, how do you choose and streamline the type of prompts found in the monthly challenge?
Mod Gominie: For each round, we have a set time–usually one week starting from the second day of sign-ups–to post prompt suggestions from ourselves and our followers. We only choose the prompts that relate to our theme for the month.
For the sake of those who are not familiar with your monthly challenges, could you give us a brief run through on the variety of it from the summer au, youtuber au, collage au. Feel free to talk about as much or as little as you like. You can list the monthly challenges as well.
Mod Gominie: As previously mentioned, we mostly choose the themes from the suggestions submitted by our joiners and followers. This is done near the end of every month. We aim to try out as many themes as we can, whether it’s popular ones like royalty and omegaverse, or less popular ones like YouTube AU and cottagecore. I feel that this is a nice challenge for our writers and artists, especially if they’ve never created something based on these themes before.
And with 2022 being the peak of you constantly engaging with the fest, how different is round 29 from all other monthly challenges?
Mod Gominie: I wouldn’t say our current round (round 29) is much different from our other monthly challenges, as we still provided a theme for our joiners to follow. The only difference is the duration. I believe it’s one of our longest rounds up to date.
Would the longer duration for round 29 be because of Jongin’s military discharge?
Mod Gominie: Yes, we prepared round 29 to celebrate Jongin’s return. We noticed a decline in the number of joiners in 2023, and we felt that Jongin’s absence might be one of the reasons. My co-mod and I have gotten busier with our jobs since then, so we decided to take a hiatus last year and tried to keep our fest active by doing two longer rounds. As mentioned in our announcement before the hiatus, we are planning to officially come back after Jongin’s military discharge.
Talking about prompts, now a question for Mod Rose: for the previous three rounds of Ultimate, when do you decide when to open for prompts?
It honestly depends on when I have time and motivation to start a new round. Once the round’s schedule is decided, we share it with the followers. usually that starts a wave of excitement for the fest and make sure to open Prompting as soon as possible while everyone is in the spirit to share their amazing ideas!
I agree, time and motivation is usually the first push you need to ever start on something. I notice based on your archive that there were actually thematic prompts like Christmas special, New Years special, Jongin’s birthday. So what makes the general round different from the special ones?
Our fest is mainly a general fest, we do main rounds that take months and we focus on making lengthy fics that can have any trope or theme.
The special rounds were just bonus rounds after the main ones or during them, for people who couldn't join the main rounds or for people who were still hyped up by the main round and wanted to do more. Also since we typically do one round every year, it's a lot of waiting so the bonus rounds are like little snacks for our dearest followers until we can do a new one!
I see, the thematic prompts are special bonus rounds. Love that for us, keeping us on our toes and gives us something to enjoy.
And as Nini Planet is known to have thematic prompts, what do you think is the biggest challenge when having to come up with prompts?
Mod Gominie: Definitely sticking to the theme, especially ones that aren’t as popular, like cottagecore. It’s a challenge for us to come up with prompts based on rarer themes but we do our best to give our potential joiners some inspiration.
What I love and I deeply appreciate from your themes Nini Planet, is the creative exploration. Writers when there is a goal to work towards, it is exciting. It is of course a fun challenge to see how writers can really make the prompts their own, adding their own creative flare to it.
Mod Gominie: I agree. That’s part of what makes it so exciting and fun to read over their submissions. As both of us are writers and readers, it is a way of indulging our souls into something new and different. We hope our joiners and readers feel the same way when they go through each other’s works.
As we are talking about prompts, do you have any where you wrecked your brain really hard for but no one took that up? Or a prompt that you wanted to see but it didn't come to life?
Mod Gominie: Yes, there have been, and sometimes we do hope on certain ones. Then again, they are simply there as an inspiration for our potential joiners. In the end, we really enjoyed seeing how our writers and artists worked with the different themes and the amazing fics/fanarts that came out of it. Though sometimes it can be hard to come up with prompts, especially for less popular themes, I think both of us enjoy doing it anyway.
How about you, Mod Rose? From your archive did you have any personal favorites from the prompts itself that you were sad it did not come to life as well?
All of them.
Check-ins and deadlines
We were talking about prompts, now let’s move on to planning for check-ins and deadlines.
Maybe let’s look at thematic prompts first? For time sensitive prompts like Valentine’s Day and New Years and Birthdays, this question is for both of you, how strict are you with deadlines with the authors if or not at all?
Maybe we can have Mod Rose to share for Ultimate first?
So having a special round means we have a much more rigid schedule to post the fics. it's something I am worried about for this round for example because we wish to post during Jongin's long awaited comeback. but we know how life is and how hard writing can get, and I am sure drawing too. so we try our best to give as much as possible extensions and honestly our participants are mostly so good at keeping up with it!
for normal rounds we might extend it another month if that's what the majority need. We know some pressure is good for motivation but too much might ruin their creativity.
We are very excited for Jongin’s long awaited comeback indeed. Of course, it is always a juggle to find that balance of pushing the artist and writers and sticking to the appropriate deadline.
And how about you Nini Planet , how are things run on the Planet?
Mod Gominie: Just like other themes, we try to be flexible with deadlines for time sensitive themes as well. Life happens, and we would rather have creators feel excited about participating than stressed about submitting on time. If a creator needs an extension, we encourage them to submit their work three days after the deadline. In general, we lean towards a “soft deadline” approach, having an exact date but letting joiners know it’s okay if they wish to drop out or need more time.
Soft deadline approach, that gives the writers a checkpoint in a way. Realistic and supportive.
And for prompts, Nini Planet, what is your time frame like?
Mod Gominie: Our time frame is slightly different depending on the duration of our rounds. For our monthly rounds, we have the first week of the month for sign-ups, the second and third week for creating, and the final week for posting/guess who/reveals. For rounds that are two or three months long, we still have the first week for sign-ups.
I see, it depends on the duration of the rounds. That’s very practical.
What about for Ultimate, you are more or less free and easy with the prompts, but there of course must be some deadlines for authors to meet. How do you gauge planning for the overall timeline?
We tried long rounds like 6 months and shorter ones like one month and we found the sweet spot is something more in the middle. 4 months is for most people the best, a month to kick off the fest, gather prompts and sign up, two and a half for the writing/drawing with a check in in the middle and around two weeks for final submissions and extensions. it's not too long that participants lose interest in their work and not too short that's impossible to finish on time.
Knowing when the sweet spot is, it reflects just how long you've been at this and how you have grown with it too.
Vetting Content
I am aware there are guidelines and rules to abide by specifically for Nini Planet. Could you talk a bit about that? What are strictly banned tags and characters that are refrained from being used?
Mod Nini: The most necessary ones like non-con, bestiality, pedophilia, and incest are strictly banned. Any fic containing these content, whether in the characters’ past, present, or future, is immediately rejected by us. Tags like dub-con, when properly explained, are accepted; character death or violence require appropriate warnings, the same as dub-con. If the warnings or tags are not properly marked, we inform the writer or reject the story altogether. We allow Jongin pairings outside EXO fandom, however, pairings such as kriskai and lukai are strictly banned, whether as the main, side, or past pairing. They are not allowed to be mentioned in the stories either.
I understand, it is important to set boundaries and rules.
And for Ultimate, how is your moderation like, if any?
well we do have hard rules against non con and pedophilia for example, bestiality etc. those are stated in every round. the fic should be Jongin centered, he cant just be a secondary character and obviously only Top Jongin is accepted (or what's the point of the fest you know) but mostly we are open to everything as long as it is not harmful or any of the mentioned above. and writers have to be careful and responsible with their tagging.
With these rules laid out, encouraged guides for authors to follow, for the both of you, how do you vett fics?
We can have Nini Planet share their ways first:
Mod Nini: Either one of us has to go through the story at least once before accepting it. Sometimes, because of lack of time, we only have time enough to skim through the stories, the characters, the plots, and the tags. If we find anything objectionable, we immediately contact the writer through whatever medium they have shared with us. Until we get confirmation or the writer makes the necessary changes, we do not accept the story.
And how similar or different are the workings in Ultimate?
Pretty similar to Nini Planet actually. Well, checking fics before posting is honestly my least favorite part of the fest for no other reason than it's me spoiling all the fics, I awaited for months for myself, by having to check all of them in a short time span lmao
but yeah i go over them and check and read before posting. If there is any problem we contact the author and talk about it. if the fic breaks one of the hard rules it's instantly rejected. we don't contact them or anything. That thankfully happened only one time, where it was a very traumatizing experience tbh, the fic was literally non con and it was rejected.
and yeah some regular authors have our trust, we merely skim over their work and we know they are very responsible!
Oh dear… non con is scary… thank you for rejecting that fic, it would have been traumatising for readers… but you unfortunately had to go through that for us. And we thank you for your service.
Ending Ment
This is actually the end of the first of two episodes for the month.
We started this episode with the story behind the fic fests, the two different types of prompts the two fic fests have. Their different ways on how Nini Planet mods support writers in giving guided prompts and Ultimate Top Kim Jongin pushes for deadlines, enough for excitement from readers and passion for their creative freedom by writers. How these two fests vett through the fics, be it skimming though and spoiling themselves for the fics they were most excited for.
Now mods, let’s take a pause here before diving into the creative aspects and promotions of the fests and support from writers and readers alike. Second part will be uploaded on the 14th!
To reach me I am kaisooficdrunk on twitter, and if you want you can drop me questions on my neospring with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today's episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to tomorrow's tomorrow's episode. Stay tuned.
Ladies and gays and of the like, listeners of the kaisoo fic podcast show, I am extremely pleased to share that this is the one year anniversary of the kaisoo fic podcast!
I am joined together with John Doe who will be my cohost for this episode.
Hi, I am John Doe. I would like to congratulate you, Alexio, on the first anniversary of your podcast about kaisoo?
Alexio, so one whole year doing the podcast. You're always the one asking questions, maybe this episode we get to know more about the ins and the outs of the podcast.
Let’s start from the very beginning. Why or rather how did the podcast idea start?
I read fics, that is obvious. I am a very passionate person and I feel emotions very strongly. So when I am deeply moved by a fic, I will express those emotions to my friends. And i think there was a point when i was expressing my emotions for the fics, that i saw the look of boredom on my friends faces. And to me, i realised that “ok this is not the target audience i should be sharing this to”. But I still needed a place where I could cathartically express my intense emotions and feelings for the fics. And one day i was like i want to talk about the fics with people who share similar sentiments. So what i did initially was to type it out, to post on tumblr. But it was not enough. I wanted to converse with someone, to bounce off energy with. Then one day I was like hm podcast. And the rest is history.
I see, so it started from a personal need, then it grew to needing space. You wanted to talk about kaisoo fics. And talking is a social thing, so you need to talk about it WITH people. It seems very hopeful because since you could not find a space, you created one for yourself. And with the freedom of having space, it is possible that other people understand the kasioo fic vision you have. They support as listeners and contribute as guests on the show as authors, artists and readers.
Thank you for saying that, and I believe that is true as well. The moving force of a lot of the episodes is the need to honour the guest. To give limelight to authors by having episodes that I call author sessions, where we talk about their journey as a writer, their inspiration and caring for their work.
Why do you feel the need to honour authors?
I do that for many reasons. Firstly, why I honour guests is because they are under appreciated. When writing, you put yourself out into the ficdom vulnerably. Fic writers write for free, have active social and work lives on the daily, yet as an outlet, take their irreplaceable time to write for us. As compared to authors who have books with publishers, fics writers do not have the luxury of promoting their work. What I mean by promotion is by having book launches and seeing their works in bookstores. Instead, fanfic promotion has fic writers relying on word of mouth in the twitter world, the masterlists by kaisooficrec and the search bar on ao3. Appreciating authors in this manner is the very least I can do, hence this being one of the moving forces of continuing on with the show.
And I am very much relieved that it had also been acknowledged by rainepaige on our first episode together. That episode will always be very meaningful for me because that was the first episode I had with a live guest. Raine in her ending comments expressed her gratitude on how the podcast showcases different writers, and for her as a writer it becomes a rewarding experience to be able to put on a spotlight by a reader who actually loves their fics. That gave me a confidence boost because that was the moment that made me realise that this is my contribution to the kaisoo community.
Wow, the first episode with a guest was meaningful. That being the first of many, how does the very first author session develop into the later authors session?
The biggest thing I learnt actually was the importance of building a relationship with the guest. The thing about podcasts is that you are usually having a conversation with another person. This is a person you meet online, so listening to their voice might be a bit awkward and unexpected at first. The thing i do now for sessions with guests after learning from Raine’s episode is to have a proper pre-recording chit chat. For Raine it happened about half an hour before the actual recording. With that, it took longer to ease into the momentum of the episode. With that, I realised I really needed to have a proper relationship with authors by familiarising both myself and the guests to each other’s voices. To learn the way we speak, to recognise the way tone changes at a particular comment or how with feelings of excitement we get into natural tangents. I do that in all the following episodes that feature guests. Apart from Raine we had Inari, Haqiyin, Yu and Jie, Lyn. I scheduled a zoom session with them and we just talk, get to know each other a bit about our backgrounds, a bit on professional life, weather, and then we go on talking about the flow of questions.
Importance of having a relationship with guests and making time to schedule open communication. Towards the end you mentioned that you also discuss the flow of questions. In the episodes, authors have mentioned they appreciate the questions asked. So let’s talk about that, how has your ability to listen and bounce back questions improved over the span of… wow 12 episodes with 7 different unique live guests?
I will talk a bit on 7 episodes with non live guests. Non live guests are basically the authors i DMed and they were either too busy or too shy to get their voices out publicly. So authors like at1stsoo, maokun, melings, jokkomi, kiki, bunny and yeolimerent. For these 6 authors plus kiki the artist, I sent them a google document with questions. First few episodes with the first few authors were very… transactional? Like I would ask questions and they would reply then end of story. So in terms of ability to bounce back questions, not much, especially in those few episodes. Those episodes to listeners may sound very unnatural and from there things needed to change. So from that acknowledgement, the skill to listen and bounce back questions changed, but not without help from a real life friend. She is also a kaisooists. We met on twitter about 3 years ago. We meet regularly. She is my confidant and importantly for the podcast, she beta reads my episodes. Dudu, thank you very much for all that you have done for me, kaisoo related or not, you are a true friend.
Have you just learnt about that?!
What was the biggest thing that Dudu helped you identify?
Many times I tend to hyperfocus on things that may not necessarily be of importance. Dudu helped me literally highlight the points. To identify the direct answers for the questions asked, then the minor details that the author brings up.
We talked about the skill needed in listening and giving it back to the guest and you shared the help you’ve gotten from your friend. What other sources do you take for inspiration and format?
I take from a lot of sources.
When I’m doing brainless stuff, meaning my hands need to move but my mind need not be present, I try to regularly listen to BBC Radio 4’s podcast titled ‘Books and Authors’. I’ve taken examples from that podcast in terms of how the host signposts to the next question or how to graciously ask questions. Biggest thing as well is to get the author to read an extract of their work.
If I’m looking for inspiration to do lighthearted stuff for the podcast, I listen to a pair who reviews Harry Potter fanfics, titled ‘Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them’. The title is brilliant and it honestly captures the essence of the Harry Potter series.
For more technical problems like formatting and structure of episodes and for editing audio tracks with GarageBand, I look on YouTube.
This is a simple question but a loaded one. Firstly I note that there are four different types of episodes of the kaisoo fic podcast show.
Firstly there are the Trailers slash Teasers basically a sneak peak into an ongoing fic.
Then we have a lot of Author slash Artists sessions where you interview the creatives in the kaisoo fic community.
Sessions with Readers where keen kaisooists come on board to appreciate the fic that have been read individually to talk about it together.
And miscellaneous promotional stuff like to launch the discord.
Am I missing anything else?
Actually not at all, thank you for identifying the four types, very observant! So yes, the simple question is?
Ah yes. My question is: Now knowing the help you get in terms of looking to other shows for inspiration, motivation from a friend and having a confidence boost from your guests, my question is: How do you plan for an episode?
Thank you for starting off with identifying the several types of episodes because it makes it easier to think through how I go about planning one generally, rather than going through each and every episode we have had so far.
So to answer your question, the way I approach an idea for an episode for an author’s session. I actually look at the writers who are active and responsive on twitter. I used to read a lot. Funnily enough after the podcast I have had less time to read but anyway back to my point. The authors that I follow, not many are as active anymore because of life commitments and that Jongin is in the military. Usually if I see an author on my timeline, I will DM them.
What happens after getting the attention of the author?
Upon gaining the authors interest in participating, I will draft an outline on what I want us to talk about, arrange for a common time slot to schedule the pre-recordings and actual session.
Ah ok so outline. Generally there is a tendency to ask similar questions. Why do you think it is important to ask these set questions?
It is important because we have an array of writers who come from different backgrounds, upbringing, life experiences, cultures and beliefs. By asking them similar questions, we get to see how diverse yet united fic writers are. With that said, I do tweak the flow of questions based on my personal takeaways from the past episode published for the following episode.
What are the things you have learnt about these diversely united fic writers?
One of my many favourite questions to ask authors is Do you ever tell people around you that you write fanfiction?
I asked this to Raine, Inari and Haqiyin. Raine and Haqiyin are regional neighbours and possibly because of the cultural similarities, the two authors do not tell people in their personal life about their writing hobby. For Raine mainly because she mentions her family is more traditional while Haqiyin, is more private and does not talk about her skills, but rather shows them.
Inari on the other hand, interestingly enough, tells people she writes, and when asked, she is transparent about it. But in addition to that, she is also working on original novels and children’s books. So people who find the topic of fanfiction odd, linger on her other works. Inari has people in her life who read her fics and her cousin Macks has been editing her works since 2015.
Another question that gets unique responses is one I like to ask about what their writing process looks like?
Those who write SNS aus like bunny and raine, We see there is a significant amount of research needed just to look for kaisoo and exo look alike photos. How to make it interactive because it is in the format of twitter and imessage.
Other guests who write on ao3 and answered this question as well. Regular podcast listeners will know for a fact that there is no one set and fixed way for an author to write. There are really many ways you can express creative writing.
Generally a common thing I find, for example Raine and Inari, they have a start and an ending in mind. These two moments don't really differ from the final draft of the fic, but in between the start and end, a lot of things change halfway for Raine, outlines for Inari are always subjected to change. With the everchanging outlines, Inari also mentions that she finds herself hopping between scenes and having it nonlinear. As a reader and a listener, it is an eye opener because for me the last time i did any creative writing was in primary school or elementary years, what i remember is that we are always taught to plan plan plan. But there is really no one way to do things. Inari hopping between scenes for me was an eye opener, but when it came to yeolimerent’s Pride, I was shocked.
First few questions I asked yeolimerent was I asked that question thinking the answer would be something along the lines of wanting to hook the attention of the reader and from there she would bring us along with what she had planned. That was what I thought. But I was very happily shocked when yeolimerent said the climax of the plot was the very first scene she came up with. The high intense conflicting emotions, the reminiscing, the anger, the shock, the pain Kyungsoo felt was the first scene she came up with for Pride. With that starting scene, she wanted readers to have a sneak peak into kaisoo’s dynamics and ask “what could’ve happened between them?” and “where do we go from here?” so it is the perfect prologue for the story. I genuinely thought I could not be anymore shocked, but I was proven wrong.
She mentioned that she was not much of a planner while writing Pride. Every chapter came randomly, no outline, just a vague idea of what she would want to see happen in that chapter and how to wrap it up. What I love about this, and why I have a deeper appreciation for her Pride after going through the episode, is because readers are exploring kaisoo in Pride as she is writing. Yeolimerent was just exploring and exploring, seeing where our two beloved characters may end up. Very intense, and yeolimerent acknowledges the fic was so long because she could not control the way the plot unfolded.
Now these questions were for author sessions, what about Fic Trailer Episodes?
Another type of episodes we have is for ongoing fics. We have had two authors now giving us a sneak peak to the fic they are in the process of writing.
Maokun for instance in the episode for her ongoing Private Matters, we talked about the tags that have yet to come out in the chapters, specifically on Kyungsoo’s character development and childhood trauma.
Dear mao, if you're listening, we are very eager to know how the fic progresses. But, as always, at your own pace.
The second trailer-like episode we have is very recently with rainepaige08. Raine is rewriting her complete tweetfic and posting it on ao3 titled Chasing Summer Skies. For this specific episode what is unique is that we already know the plot, but because it will be rewritten, Raine will be developing certain scenes, provide deeper insights to the perspectives.
That is very… it just goes to show the range of writers in the kaisoo fic community. And these are just four authors you properly interviewed. I notice you don't really reference the birthday season episodes and earlier. Is that deliberate?
Not really deliberate, i think the first few episodes i did i was just starting out and so i had not really found proper footing yet. I am talking about in every aspect from the audio quality, the duration of the episode (which reflects the type of questions asked), post recording editing. Actually I think what I did really well was the episode cover art.
Could you talk more on the podcast cover art? What moment of the fic do you usually choose to illustrate?
I genuinely love all my episode cover art pieces. Doing the podcast cover art is as important as fixing an outline for the script. I take a lot of pride in doing it, it is not the best, but with the limited skills and tools i have, i do what i can.
For how i choose specific stills for episodes, basically upon reading the whole fic, i try to identify what are the most unique points of the fic. The episode on meling’s Blue for example. It is a sad fic, Kyungsoo is vulnerable in the fic and hence seen crying in the illustration. He angrily vocalises his insecurities to Jongin, and Jongin embraces him. This particular still i got the silhouette from pinterest and just traced it out. To me this picture captures the essence of blue (hold onto me everyday) by melings very well. Another similar experience I had was with Inari’s susceptible to you episode cover art. The moment I saw the two hands, one with fresh cuts and bruises and another healing with plasters, it reflects kaisoo’s relationship in terms of their troubled backgrounds and their hope to build a future together.
Which podcast cover art took the longest to do?
It is between bunny’s episode with the family portrait and low quality spazz with dudu for jongnugget’s american football. The process of getting body posture references for the portrait, then ensuring each jersey number would be seen on the uniform.
At what point do you reach out to EXO illustrators for commissions?
I keep a look out for the artists I follow. In the event they open commissions, I will definitely reach out to them. The keyword for when I reach out is when artists themselves open commissions.
First commission done was by kiki, peachypeptide on twitter. The time of when she opened commissions was the perfect time because it coincided with the kaisoo birthday season. I will forever be grateful to kiki for helping me have my abstract sketches come to life digitally.
You had two other commissions right?
Which two are you referring to?
Haqi episodes and Pride episodes.
Haqi’s was not commissioned, but rather the podcast was granted permission to use it. And I am very grateful she did, because it is an episode featuring Haqi and a Haqi drawing would be appropriate to have.
Lyn was the second person I commissioned and I sort of knew better what to do and expect when commissioning someone. With Lyn we went through a lot of revisions, details, colours, backgrounds. She’s been very patient with me and also gives suggestions that add value to the final drawings.
With the artist session episode with Lyn, I was pleasantly relieved that she found my guide outline very useful to churn out her creative energy. Lyn mentioned that with a detailed breakdown of what I wanted to see, it helped her guide her drawing.
That actually reminds me that one of my questions to authors is on their inspiration.
In addition to being a writer, Haqi draws and is a graphic designer by profession. So specifically for her Swap AU she took a lot of photoshoots, concepts, pictures and events and content to be able to write and be inspired.
Another author who took inspiration from photos and venue images is at1stsoo in her ‘In the Clouds With You’. Lizzie the author eagerly responded with how she took influence from real life kaisoo during the War Press Conference back in July 2017. Lizzie is the kaisoo historian that wrote the compendium of kaisoo’s journey. So with that already written, when she saw them in the beautiful outdoor venue, it sparked this proposal in a oneshot. In the fic, Kyungsoo pops a ring into Jongin’s pocket just before they appear on stage. And it all stems from that image of the venue plus how their suits looked like wedding suits and not forgetting the green carnation kyungsoo wears on his lapel… like… the symbol of doing that was popularised by Oscar Wilde to indicate men being attracted to other men. I wish i was making this shit up but… kaisoo is real everybody.
Another writer who uses other forms of art to complement their writing is Inari. When Inari hears a song and a film plays in her head. It helps in evoking emotions and the right emotions through the use of instruments and melodies, rhythms, lyrics. Inari says it wonderfully in her episode, do give it a listen.
Raine’s inspiration starts with prompts and Haqiyin comes from dialogues. Haqiyin’s my dear was constructed based on a beautiful line she imagined Kyungsoo saying. Do check out the episodes with haqiyin to know what the actual quote was, its quite moving.
How different would an outline for an author's session look like from a session with readers?
For the episode with Dudu i was planning to think through more details, but because i had limited time at her house, we were just like “fuck it let’s just spazz about the fic” hence the title of the episode. Super low quality, recorded it on my phone and I think you can hear a person shifting pots and pans. But I think it would have been slightly better if it was more thoroughly planned, but the unique point of the episode is the low commitment aspect and I had lots of fun.
But to answer your question of how different an outline for an author's session compared to a session with readers, a good comparison would probably be the two episodes that talked about Pride by yeolimerent. So for Pride we had readers Yu and Jie to discuss the fic. Being amongst readers, we see that it is slightly more candid, more playful, literally as well because we had an ice breaker game segment so we were slightly more comfortable with each other. We played it twice actually, one pre recording the another during the recording itself.
For author yeolimerent, it was more of a typical authors session. I ask questions and there was a response, and we went back and fourth about twice.
How have you improved over the past year?
I would like to believe I have definitely improved from where I started to now.
In all aspects, in terms of the sequence and type of questions, in terms of editing, taking out the filler words. All of which I am no master at, there is really so much to improve on, but I’m getting better. Of which some are also things like the quality of the questions asked to include more plot based questions apart from writer's journey and the flow of the episode to make it more conversational rather than obvious moments for questions and responses.
Any other points you would like to make before we end the episode today?
When an author is writing, they are writing for the plot. It is not a full reflection of the author’s conviction in kaisoo in real life or as idols or whatever. It is seriously just to bring across a tasteful and intricate story that has human flaws and human complexities that make the characters have conflict.
Look at it this way. There is no fluff without angst, and there is no angst without fluff. So you need the points of contrast.
I see, like a natural juxtaposition - day night, rain sunshine.
More importantly: kaisoo vs other ships
We may disagree with what the characters do, which is a good thing because it shows that we care for the characters, but the choices they make, be it being a misstep or a deliberate choice, is in the writer's hands, and we have to respect that.
I want to go on a slight tangent, because it is related to what we are talking about, this idea of kyungsoo being shipped with another person other than Jongin. There are two realities of shipping, one for idol life and another for fanfiction. Since this show is a fanfic show, we will talk about fanfics because idol life is a whole other conversion all together. I hope this is not a controversial take, in fact I think it should be a universal common sense because to be completely honest it is appalling to me that some people have the capacity to hate on a writer, that is one. And two, to express your anger by writing a hate comment. Because seriously, how low can you get hating on a person who has done so much for free. Who has taken time and courage to express their creativity, then bare their work to the twitter world or the ao3 audience hoping readers will see kaisoo through their eyes as wonderful as it has been conjured up in their minds. It is a skill that demands mastery. And in the kasioo world, i see many who have obtained that skill.
Dear readers and listeners, we are very blessed that we have a whole history and archive of literature for us, we have to celebrate that. We cannot let misery fog our want to read. I mean, this is all for the plot. The author is the one with creative choice, and we respect their direction. If you dont like it, you can literally scroll away. This fanfic reading is on a device, usually on your phone, just scroll away if it is not your cup of tea… there is really no need to leave a hate comment.
Sorry I just feel very passionate about this topic.
And before we end, in the discord during our monthly fanfic reading club event, lunar_frequencies or dia spoonie passionately mentions that fanfic writing, is a starting point. It is a place where writers start and test out the flow of narration, how characters and conflict work together and kickstart a love for writing.
An aside, it is important to support writers. Not to shame those who are not writing up to a particular personal standard. We do not want to diminish the enjoyment of the craft because we want to support one another and help each other.
Alexio any other final comments for this episode?
Ok i would like to end off with saying there is something just so exciting as the kaisoo fic podcast host. To get to know a bit more about an author that I personally like to read from.
As readers we are given so much, and we should give back. It is only right for us or me, my purpose now is to use the podcast and discord platforms to bridge the gap between authors who write for the kaisoo ficdom, and the perception that readers have of writers being just a username that churns out fics. Authors are more than just their username that writes. Authors are real people who gain inspiration from who they are and what they experience and tapping onto their creative minds.
All in all dear listener, thank you for your attention. Dear writer, if you would like to have your fic featured, do feel welcome to drop me a DM on twitter! Listener if you feel strongly for a fic and maybe you would like to talk about your favorite fic with me, do come on board onto the kaisooists discord community server and i would be open to discussion.
Specifically for at1stsoo maokun melings jjokkomi bunny and yeolimerent, i would like to thank you for your time in replying to me. If you are keen we can arrange for a sit down recorded zoom session and we can talk proper instead of just through a google document.
For authors, Haqiyin Lyn and Raine, Inari and readers Dudu Yu and Jie, who have been on the show with me, I really cannot thank you enough.
Thank you dear kaisoo fic podcast listener, may we have another good year with kaisoo fics. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast!
For new listeners welcome, welcome to the show. The kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoo world. Where we have authors on the show to give them a platform to talk about their writings and journey as an author in the fandom.
This episode there will be some reference to the previous episode with rainepaige08. If you have not, do check that episode out as well, but this episode can also be a stand alone episode, just that listeners who have gone through the previous episode with Raine will be able to see more or less where we are coming from. Raine is also the very first guest we had on the show, so having this episode together again is very meaningful.
Without further ado, ladies and gays and of the like, let us give a warm welcome to Ms Raine Paige!
Welcome Raine, thank you for becoming a returning guest on the kaisoo fic podcast show. We are very pleased to have you with us this evening.
Before we begin proper, do you have any opening comments you would like to make?
Thank you for having me here again and hopefully I’m more relaxed now than last time.
Pleasure is mine, i know we are more comfortable now that we have talked a bit more both on the twitter dms and discord voice chats, so I do agree that this episode will be more enjoyable as well.
Raine. yes? Shall we dive into the episode! We shall! We start with the fic.
Intro to Fic
Chasing Summer Skies is celebrating its 5th year anniversary since it was first posted. Congratulations on that Raine! Chasing Summer Skies is an ongoing, currently at the point of recording it has 11k words in 3 chapters on ao3. For those eager to go through the fic, it is complete as a tweetfic on Raine’s twitter account, rainepaige08.
I think what is really precious about moving tweetfics to ao3 is that there seems to be more flexibility and leeway for there to be commentary on the setting, premise and perspectives. Mainly because of the word limit on each tweet, you are sort of confined to the few sentences. So first question of the evening, I would like to hear from you and your choice of transferring your Chasing Summer Skies to ao3. Why did you make the decision to move?
In the past, the decision was just to transfer it word per word from the tweetfic for me to have a copy of my story since it is hard to scroll on the app. But I tried to reread it and with the improvements on my writing over the course of 5 years, I realized there are scenes I could have written better hence why new narrations are added.
Indeed it is hard to scroll on the app. Fic reading becomes more satisfying and the storyline becomes more put together in full potential on ao3 as compared to it being as tweetfics. But being on the app does have its merits as well, especially in gaining reactions and ending each update on the thread with a cliffhanger that makes readers eager to read the next update.
Our first episode together you mentioned you’ve been writing since your first year in collage back in 2011. So that brings us to you writing for a good 13 years. Have any other of your fics been rewritten with an updated plot as well?
A Familiar Face, which is the CEO AU, was also rewritten and new narrations were added but not to this extent. Maybe I just felt this itch when I am rereading the tweetfic after 5yrs that I want the scenes to be more vivid and their feelings to be expressed more.
Ah yes, Familiar Face, of course!
As a reader, okay ill speak for myself, this fic is hard to forget. And to me it is very heartwarming to know that you still love it enough to rewrite scenes and breathe new and more life into it.
Let’s continue by talking about the tweetfic, the plot breakdown or the events that happened in the fic.
Raine, would you like to briefly talk a bit on the fic for those who may not be familiar?
Chasing Summer Skies is a story about Jongin, an event photographer and Kyungsoo, a wedding coordinator who met during Summer and had a summer love affair. However, what they didn’t know is that Jongin's girlfriend is Kyungsoo’s sister which he would eventually help plan the wedding.
What a premise to start with… by itself, even without knowing too much of the plot, you know it is gonna be angst and heartache. The question is how deep are we getting into it. More of that in a bit.
So in the first few scenes, what brings our two lovers together?
It starts with Kyungsoo finding out that his room was double booked and now occupied. But suddenly a stranger approached him and by weird fate; it was the person staying in his room. The man introduced himself as Jongin and offered that they share the room instead. That’s the starting point of how they spent the summer together and got to know each other, to which they would eventually fall in love during the short trip.
Pacing and Difference between the tweetfic n ao3
Things happen in the fic quite quickly, so much so that Kyungsoo asks himself, i quote: “Could you fall in love with someone you only met for a week?” He knows the answer but just doesn't want to admit it. With that, will the pacing change now that you're moving it to ao3? Or maybe let me rephrase - generally what is the biggest thing that readers will see differently in this 5th year anniversary of Chasing Summer Skies?
The pacing of how they fell in love would still be fast, since I wanted the readers to doubt too if it was possible to genuinely fall in love with someone in just a few weeks. I like how it begs the question if it was just a spur of the moment thing or not. What the readers will see differently in this version is how Jongin’s and Kyungsoo’s connection were built. I mentioned in one of my posts that I want to build up their happy moments before the chaos would start. So, there would be additional scenes to watch out for.
Okay good good we as readers do want to see more happy kaisoo moments. Even in the tweetfic we have happy moments in the beginning… but then after Kyungsoo’s return from the vacation, it drastically turns to, i quote what Min says in the very end of the fic that she saw the yearning, love and sadness combined when they would look at each other.
Inspiration
Now having brought up Min, a question Raine, when you first thought of the fic, what was the very first relationship dynamic you had in mind or a scene that popped as inspiration in your head? Was it Jongin and Min’s relationship or the summer fling or could be neither of the options.
My first thought was “i want a kaisoo but one of them is in a relationship” so like an infidelity fic since I want to challenge myself to something more…controversial? questionable?. Since I think the plot of Infidelity is something that is being frowned upon until now.
Next that I thought of is Min being Kyungsoo’s twin but I think there are already a lot of fics with that concept so I decided for her to be his sister instead. After that, I thought of a way for them to have a connection. I don’t want the connection that Kaisoo has to be on the summer trip so that’s when I thought of a videographer and an event coordinator and Kyungsoo being Min’s brother, she would definitely ask help plan her and Jongin’s wedding
Infidelity.
Min Kyungsoo’s twin? No, too many twins written. Someone very close to Kyungsoo.
Job connection
Min connection to Jongn
Connection to not be just as a summer fling
Kyungsoo be Min’s brother who happens to be a wedding planner for Min and Jongin’s wedding so that
Kyungsoo can still be in the picture
Similar question to the one I just asked on inspiration because I do want to know a bit more on your author’s choice. When you start a story, how much is already figured out? I will break this question into two sections, one for the tweetfic and one for the ao3 version.
Inspiration - tweetfic (breakdown while writing for plot)
In our previous episode you mentioned that you had the start and ending in mind specifically for the CEO AU and this fic. As you were writing the tweetfic, what kind of outline did you have or were you exploring their backgrounds, relationship dynamics and oncoming conflicts at the same time as you write?
It was quite different from the CEO AU since I only have the start in mind and up until Chanyeol was introduced. I also have in mind what the ending is and the character’s relationship dynamics and major conflicts. but everything after that point, I would then gauge the reader’s reaction on the twitfic. Part of it was actually if the fic would still be a kaisoo end game or would it change to chansoo since there are a handful of readers that are question the flow of the story at the middle.
What was in mind was just the beginning of the fic to the first time Chanyeol was introduced. And the ending. Possible relationship dynamics and major conflicts.
Because it was a tweetfic and there are live reactions, it is a good gauge of their feedback. There was a point where readers started to question if the fic was going to change to chansoo end game, which got some readers fired up and questioning.
What were those relationship dynamics or conflicts that you prioritized to push the plot?
though i did get a lot of feedbacks from people, I still decided on a kaisoo ending. Another would be the decision to push through with Min and Jongin getting married.
In the tweetfic version of Chasing Summer Skies, were there any specific moments you wanted to see expanded on or did you see potential generally throughout the fic that you thought could be explored in more detail?
What I noticed first is how little are Jongin’s pov on the fic so I wanted to build Jongin’s character at the start since I think that’s the portion I failed to expound on the tweetfic since it is mostly Kyungsoo’s pov. Wanted to expand on Jongin’s POV because there were a lot of negative views on Jongin. Did not to justice to why Jongin did certain things to kaisoo’s relationship because it was mainly Kyungsoo’s POV so there was no insights to Jongin’s actions.
We do indeed see more of Jongin’s POV already in the first chapter where he goes out for his run and admires Kyungsoo’s sleeping face.
Another portion I wanted to expound on is chansoo’s relationship and the difference between Kyungsoo when he is with Jongin vs with Chanyeol.
That is a lot of moments for us to discover, we are very excited for that.
Inspiration - ao3 (develop scrapped or new plot devices)
You did mention in our previous episode that you had the start and ending in mind but changed the scenes halfway and even scrapped some ideas. With you now transferring the fic on ao3, are you planning to develop all the scenes you scraped in the tweetfic or are there new points of the narrative you would like to bring to the readers?
One scene I scraped which was added is Kyungsoo visiting Jongin’s workroom (this would be updated this week). It would give the readers a little backstory for Jongin and how he loves his work.
Min “photography is a hobby” but as Kyungsoo visits Jongin in his workroom, readers get to see that Jongin genuinely loves his job.
When you mentioned you will be adding how readers will see Jongin loving his job and Kyungsoo witnessing it, I don't know why but a moment that comes to mind is a scene a week before the wedding. Min invites Kyungsoo to her birthday dinner where Jongin defends Kyungsoo against his homophobic father. Somehow thinking about the dinner scene, and hopefully when reading this new scene, we get to see how kaisoo are able to relate to each other on a very vulnerable level. They feel like they are both misunderstood and undervalued. Kyungsoo with his father’s disapproval and Min’s distaste towards Jongin’s work.
Another new scene would be with chansoo since before I am scared of building up their part in the story since I know most of my readers have preference over kaisoo, but I feel like that scene would be essential to add.
For the plot, I definitely do agree that chansoo moments are essential to add. Right now with the tweetfic it may seem like just kaisoo moments with a sprinkle of chansoo. The nature of this fic… it is heavy angst for kaisoo, it would definitely be nice to see more light hearted moments for chansoo to balance things out. Because we were hinted at the fact that chansoo do spend a lot of time together, so it is definitely important to add.
I will talk more about kaisoo vs other ships in fics on the next episode for the one year anniversary of the podcast because this is something I'm passionate about, basically championing for fic writers. But for now i would just like to say that it is sad to know that people have a strong preference for kaisoo so much so that they will not accept any other pairing… But it is for the plot… Having as you said, Raine wants to expound on the difference between Kyungsoo when he is with Jongin vs when he is with Chanyeol. Chansoo’s dynamics is dramatically significant to bring the plot forward. And it also makes kaisoo’s relationship all the more precious and important for Kyungsoo.
Impact
The things that happen between Kyungsoo’s return and Min’s passing, can be quite… distressing. Mainly because there are many times where we readers… okay for me at least, would want closure for Kyungsoo, but then a misstep happens. They fall back on each other, then they are back to square one again where Jongin is with Min and Kyungsoo is heartbroken. It is very anxiety inducing because how many times can his heart take this sting of rejection only to be met with desperation to want to love and be loved again? That is my feelings as a reader, but share with us how writing out these scenes impact you in any way?
I can actually still recall how emotional I felt writing those scenes. and as a person who easily cries, yes I am crying while writing most of those scenes. I wanted the emotions to be felt through the words and I wanted the readers to feel the same frustration that Kyungsoo feels as his heart is being pushed and pulled and played over and over again. I want every heartache to feel raw and relatable.
You want every heartache to feel raw and relatable, Raine, what insights have you gained upon writing Chasing Summer Skies?
I learned from this fic that I love writing emotional scenes. Emotional struggle of the characters. I also started to build more complex characters like Jongin that there are reasons why people did what they did.
I like that, the emotional struggle where there are complex human emotions. It is true to life. There are choices taken because of miscalculated steps and different priorities.
People disagreed with what Jongin did, but I also learned to not be pressured by expectations of the readers and to stick to your end goal.
The main struggle I had was with chansoo’s relationship. On the surface level they may seem happy, but if you dig deeper, we see that there are different types of love and you meet people at a certain part of your life to help you navigate through it. I think that is what Chanyeol is to Kyungsoo. He made Kyungsoo feel safe. He was the one who tried to push Kyungsoo forward when he was lost.
But at the same time, you see Kyungsoo going back to Jongin over and over again and at some point Chanyeol realized that needed to be the one to put an end to their relationship.
Chanyeol’s intention on sticking around Kyungsoo was to put a genuine smile back on Kyungsoo’s face. But I sometimes cannot believe that they almost got married, but again, as you said, different types of love. With Chanyeol it is always safe, but it was not the love that Kyungsoo wanted. Chanyeol needed to be the one to end things especially after it was confirmed through Baekhyun’s intervention that Kyungsoo does not love Chanyeol.
What scene are you most excited for readers to read? If you have, could you read to us listeners a snippet of it?
The extract i will be reading is the part of the wedding in Kyungsoo’s POV
The music played and Kyungsoo watched as Jongin walked towards where the officiant was.
Just one look. Just look at me once, Jongin, and it would be my cue to stop this. Please..
Kyungsoo told himself as the other entourage walked on the aisle. It was Min's turn and Kyungsoo fought the urge to look away as he saw Jongin smiling at his bride.
The ceremony started and the couple exchanged their vows, but Kyungsoo still waited.He still hoped for that sign. For that one glance from Jongin.
But it never came.
The ceremony was concluded and Jongin and Min are now announced as husband and wife.
But Kyungsoo still waited.
Until the reception, Kyungsoo's eyes never left Jongin. Even when Chanyeol checked if he's okay, he still stared at him. Hoping, still hoping, that Jongin would look his way.
The reception was about to end with Min and Jongin leaving for their honeymoon.
Kyungsoo finally gave up.
He said thank you to his assistant and said sorry that he needs to leave the venue. He walked towards Chanyeol and tapped the man's shoulder. The musician looked at him and nodded as he already knew what it meant.
As Kyungsoo walked towards the hotel, he failed to see Jongin looking back at him before the man left.
One last look.
I want to repeat this line for my own sake because it is just devastating: Kyungsoo fought the urge to look away as he saw Jongin smiling at his bride.
A very definitive moment for Kyungsoo happens right before the extract you just read, where chansoo are in the hotel and Chanyeol comforts Kyungsoo by saying he does not have to be at the ceremony, but Kyungsoo persists on and says: "No. I want him to take that path while knowing I am there witnessing it. That even after knowing that it would shatter me, he would still do it."
That moment is an example of how their love is a love at the wrong time.
Yea, and this happens after Kyungsoo’s proposal to: "Meet me at the airport at 4am tomorrow. I'll book a flight. I'll do anything. I'll find a way to escape."
Kyungsoo looked at Jongin's eyes and held his cheek as he added,
"Just say yes."
This is his final ace. The last card that Kyungsoo could gamble on.
Raine, what a line… what a moment, desperate but hopeful Kyungsoo… it is too hard to read.
It shows that Kyungsoo did all that he can for Jongin to pick him… despite all that, Jongin still chose to be with Min.
And hence Kyungsoo is persistently fighting the urge to look away from Jongin because he wants Jongin to take the path knowing that it will shatter Kyungsoo’s whole being. And Min knows that. Wait no she knew after they got married and when Kyungsoo left the country. When Jongin heard that Kyungsoo left, he broke down and told Min everything about their relationship.
I just want to remind readers that Min understands why Kyungsoo wants to stop the wedding but she also knows that Kyungsoo will choose Min’s happiness because she is the only one that understands him in their family.
Thank you for sharing, i think I speak for listening readers that we are very eager and excited to read that point in the narrative when it comes.
What is your favorite comment of all time, something you always think about when you're in a lull and unmotivated to write?
“It’s been quite some time since I last delved into the world of Kaisoo fanfiction, but recently, I stumbled upon this latest work of yours. As I immersed myself in your storytelling once again, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of nostalgia wash over me. Your writing still carries the same emotional depth and authenticity that first captivated me years ago.
Your fanfictions always hit me right in the feels, and reading this fanfic (eventho it’s an angst) made me miss Kaisoo even more. I just wanted to thank you for all the amazing stories you’ve shared over the years. You’ve got serious talent!”
Before we end things, dear Raine, do you have any other comments or running thoughts we did not cover today you want to share with us listeners?
It was really nice to be able to talk about this fic after 5 yrs as I think it was one of my hidden gems among those I wrote.
A fic that i always want to go back to when i need a good cry from life.
Wow, an angsty fic as a comfort fic. But yea i do agree we need to cathartically express our feelings in reading a good fic that knows how to make us cry.
Thank you for providing this platform to authors and artists to discuss their craft and our love for kaisoo.
It is my greatest pleasure to be able to celebrate your mastery in this craft you have chosen to do. We share this joy together.
Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 and twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that ladies and gays and of the like, we have come to the end of today’s episode.
Do keep a lookout for next month's episode because oh my! it will be the one year anniversary of the kaisoo fic podcast show! Can you believe that listeners… One year… im so touched, happy and relieved that people tune in and enjoy the show. Next month’s episode would be like a review of the past year’s episodes.
New episodes either every 13th of the month or 12th and 14th, special kaisoo dates, of course.
To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today's episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast!
For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoosphere. Where we have authors on the show to give them a platform to talk about their writings and journey as an author in the fandom.
This month we are looking at one fic for two episodes. First part was on the 12th, and today the second episode for the same fic is on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!
If you, dear listener, have been up to date with the podcast episodes, you will find that there will be similar questions to other author’s sessions. Each author brings in their own different perspectives and experiences. By asking similar questions, we get to see how diverse yet united kaisoo fic writers are.
The sequence in which we will be having this episode is as such:
Firstly we have yeolimerent introducing the fic of the day, followed by some plot based questions, next some questions on their journey as a writer. Then we end with the 3is: lesson learnt; source of inspiration and impact to the kaisoo fic community.
I also got about four questions from an anon on curious cat, so I will be weaving the questions into the appropriate segments of the episode.
Cover Art
Now, prior to me giving the author of the day these questions, I asked yeolimerent what is their favorite scene from Pride. And when they responded, luckily Lyn was still doing commissions… so i asked her. One more, just one more!
Thank you Lyn for opening up commissions and being accommodating to my requests!
In the podcast cover art… we have kaisoo on a beach. This scene is not a reimagined scene, it is from one of the last few moments of Pride where kaisoo reconcile.
Context from the fic for this particular position kaisoo is in takes almost directly from the fic itself.
Intro to author
With permission of the author, I have reader Jie with me today, who will be taking the persona of yeolimerent.
Introducing a bit on yeolimerent:
yeolimerent has been in this fandom since (2013), that’s about (11 years). The pull factor that got her into this fandom was always Chanyeol and EXO showtime in general, when she was in high school and everyone was getting into EXO. Journey with kaisoo started ever since she could remember and had always been inspired by their chemistry. yeolimerent is currently focused on EXO right now. She’s also into a lot of queer artists and media.
Welcome, yeolimerent, thank you for your time in answering the questions for today’s session.
Thanks for having me!
Yeolimeret. yes? Shall we dive into the episode! We shall! We start with the fic.
Pride
Pride by yeolimerent has 33 chapters with about 300 thousand words. Set in a universe where Kyungsoo is a chaebol and gets entangled with his driver. Lust, bitterness and heartache develops over the course of several chapters. Content warnings include smut (bottomsoo), I think one scene of dubious consent, and minor character deaths.
Now, yeolimerent, would you maybe like to start us off for those who are not familiar, what is Pride about?
The initial plan was always to make a Seven Deadly Sins series starring major EXO ships and KaiSoo would be Pride. I just had this big interest in rich-poor au when it came to kaisoo and this felt like the perfect opportunity to do it. Another factor was the idea of a younger Jongin falling for an older Kyungsoo and looking up to him in a way.
Pride is heavily Kyungsoo’s side of the story and how his world turned upside down in a span of a decade— from being one of the richest people in the country to owing millions of debts and then his poor first love who broke his heart turning into one of the most powerful men in the country who now has the upper hand on him. Here, we see him build and ruin relationships with other people in his life. We see how drastically things can change in a span of eight years, and how a lot of them also stay the same.
It’s basically his very complex journey of self-discovery and well… pride.
Pride literally starts with a bang. And I love it. The first chapter titled Prologue, readers are met with a very high tension chapter where Kyungsoo is angry and Jongin exudes danger. It is a very gripping scene. I am curious as to why you began the fic with a scene from the climax of the plot?
To be honest, this was the very FIRST scene that i came up with for Pride. It was my starting point. So what happened here would be the basis for the majority of what I wrote so it was very vital to the story. I guess I wanted the readers to read it first and think “Oh, what could’ve happened between them?” and “where do we go from here?” so it is the perfect prologue for the story.
The prologue scene is indeed very… you can get overwhelmed. And you did warn the readers to say that this is an intense and complicated fic, but I am super thankful that I continued to read and that i stuck through the whole thing.
Walk us through the chronology of you piecing up the plot. How did the pieces come to play after setting the prologue? Was it a bit overarching idea first or specific scenes coming in slowly piecing it all up?
For the chapter, I wasn’t much of a planner when I was writing Pride compared to how I am now as a writer. So every chapter came to me randomly, no outline and all. I just had this vague idea of what I would want to happen in that chapter and how I wanted to wrap it up, and then things just unfold from there depending on my inspiration. That’s probably a factor why the fic was so long because I couldn’t control it haha!
Wow, chapter coming up randomly with no outline…
Wait, what about that tiny detail in the chapters before the 8 years apart happened, before the presentation? The tiniest bit of information, the carelessness of Kyungsoo leaving his blueprint in the room without much thought… was that also not fully planned? Because only at almost the very end was it revealed that his carelessness plus Soojung’s sly personality cost him a lot of things. That tiny detail became one of the most important points of the story that pushed Kyungsoo to be off the grid.
As a reader, we also did not give it much thought because that moment was also brief. I guess my question now becomes… how intentional was your choice to have Kyungsoo not give too much thought to his work?
Yes. I wanted to convey that everyone had some sort of fault for what happened. Kyungsoo as a kid was meant to be careless and impulsive, and thats what got him in trouble. I intentionally made him spoiled and imposing to raise a bit of intrigue because he was, after all, still a chaebol kid. I wanted people to see how he treated people like Soojung unprovoked and think “did he deserve it?”
A question from my curious cat reads: if Jongin and Kyungsoo had met on Kyungsoo birthday in the bar, what would have happened? I was like omg Jongin turn and face Kyungsoo!!! Jongin turn around damn itttt :(
Ohh. I dont think that would be that productive as well because Kyungsoo would do what he did best, which was of course— to run. LMAO.
Surprising moments
Previous episode I asked the readers about the element in the plot that surprised them.
There were generally two main points on how Pride really grabs the reader’s attention. First shocking point for Pride was how readers were shocked at your choice yeolimerent, the writer’s choice. Of having Seonho be Kyungsoo’s buddy as they travel to New York and become the best of friends.
One of my most favorite things about Pride was Kyungsoo and Seonho’s very unconventional relationship. It was always the part that caught people off guard hahaha. I like the fact that when you read the first few chapters, Seonho would be the last person in the universe you’d expect to be Kyungsoo’s rock during the hardest days of his life but it happened anyway. It was also vital to his relationship with Jongin because a lot of jealousy stemmed from his past relationship with Seonho and it was very fun to watch unfold because Jongin was busting a vein while everything between them was platonic.
Seonho and Kyungsoo’s relationship is definitely unconventional. Related is another question from my curious cat for your fic. The question is: did Seonho really get his closure with Kyungsoo? Even though they both moved on with their lives, whenever I read Seonho and Kyungsoo’s part in New York I always had this weird anxiety about what if they cross the line of friendship. But they never did. They kept it cute, I loved it and Seonho’s character development was crazy! I wish I had a Seonho in my life too… So again the question is, did Seonho really get his closure with Kyungsoo?
I didnt really want to be so explicit about it. To me, they didnt have to sit down and have a lengthy talk about their relationship before running away together. I think that scene in the bar where their simple conversation about running away from their families became their closure in some sort because it was definite that no romance was left. Simple a trauma bond and the desperation to live their similarly miserable lives at home.
It also put emphasis on the concept of forgiveness because while Kyungsoo hated Seonho’s guts during college, it showed that he was SOOO heartbroken from Jongin to find solace on his ex and their shared trauma with their dads. It was enough to rebuild their relationship into a different, but stronger one.
Thank you for touching on the point of forgiveness. We see a lot of that here in the many relationships we explore in the fic. I think almost every pair baeksoo, chanbaek, kaibaek, has an element of forgiveness because of how much the characters have each hurt each other.
A pairing brought up in the previous episode was Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Right before Kyungsoo leaves, you can tell that Baekhyun felt a void in his heart after their conversation. Then a while after Kyungsoo goes back to Korea, we witness that scene where Kyungsoo talks to Baekhyun and when, i quote: his words tugged in his most fragile spot, chapter 26 titled Make It Up To You, is a sincere Kyungsoo who wants to help Baekhyun. This scene was a nice change of pacing and it feels very honest as well.
Yes. I think one of the lines I liked there was “we could stop being friends and I’d still know you more than anyone.” because that’s the gist of their relationship. Baekhyun, when he was unapologetically weird and had no other friends in college, was still the realest version of himself and only Kyungsoo really accepted that before Chanyeol came.
Another point of surprise made was how intense Jongin’s love was for Kyungsoo. Seeing as we are reading the fic in Kyungsoo’s POV, it was quite an eye opener to have read Jongin’s. As readers we do get a hint of Jongin having feelings for Kyungsoo. And upon the Jongin’s POV chapters, our impressions are validated, but to such a shocking extent. The previous episode as mentioned by one of the readers was that: they were convinced that Jongin had feelings for Kyungsoo the first time they met, but felt skeptical with their hunch since it always seemed like Jongin was siding with Soojung and setting Kyungsoo aside. But as the Jongin’s POV chapters were revealed, I think collectively, for readers, it becomes very clear that it is without a doubt Jongin loves Kyungsoo.
You do a wonderful job and I really appreciate you giving us Jongin’s POV. Reading the fic again from Jongin’s POV, it becomes very thought provoking because there is a wider perspective which makes the story more complex.
The part of the plot that changes to Jongin’s POV is after Kyungsoo is honest to Seonho that he loves Jongin. And with that, i pause for a question to yeolimerent: at what point of writing from Kyungsoo’s POV did you feel like you needed to share Jongin’s?
The part where he stopped tugging the other side of the rope and felt this intense fear of losing Kyungsoo completely when he saw him with Seonho at the parking lot. At present time, of course readers could tell Jongin wanted Kyungsoo back but him as a person didnt really know that or knew where to start. That scene with Seonho was some sort of his wake up call and from then on, he stopped letting his fears hold him back and was definite about winning the love of his life back so it was the perfect opportunity to reveal his side.
Writers Journey
The next segment is on the writer’s journey, your journey of writing Pride amongst other things.
The nature of Pride is that it is very long and dramatic and with that it has a very high intense emotional plot. As a reader, it feels overwhelming at times and i think a point that was brought up in the previous episode was how even upon rereading it the second time, the emotional rollercoaster was as intense as the first reading. And for some, already knowing the twist and surprising parts of the fic, it allows us to analyze every interaction they have before leading to that point. So that is us as readers. But how did you keep your emotions in check while writing?
It is crazy because a lot of people had complained about it being heavy throughout the years and I totally get it, but writing it was so therapeutic to me. I guess projecting a lot on Kyungsoo’s character played a lot of factor in that. He did a lot of stupid things in that fic but a lot of them were something I’d do or a choice I’d make so it felt nice to let it out.
Oh, wow. I see, so what kind of work is Pride to you?
Therapy! That was the time of my life where I had a lot going on and was in the middle of my med school applications so writing was a solace to me.
I did not know what to expect of your answer to my question, but I am definitely quite in awe.
It sounds like the whole process was very cathartic especially when you say you project on Kyungsoo and it feels nice to let it out. I am in awe mainly because I see it is something to channel your creative energy and in turn, because it is something so unique, very yeolimerent style, readers can really immerse themselves in your words and see the plot developing through your eyes.
With that i am curious, how long have you been writing? Is the reference on ao3 correct to say that you have been writing since 2019 or did you start way earlier on another site?
I have been writing the first Deadly Sins fics in wattpad since 2017 and only moved to AO3 in 2018 for my first BAE fic. I wrote Pride in AO3 but it was also posted in both wattpad and AFF. I’ve also been writing creatively since high school, which was over 10 years ago.
How seasoned a writer were you in writing when you came up with this? What point of your writer’s journey was Pride published?
I definitely had a much better experience writing it compared to the first two because I got better at expressing the character’s emotions. I would say I still got a bit better in fics I wrote after Pride but that was one of my works where I was able to express the characters’ emotions the way I wanted to deliver them.
Somehow that is comforting to know. This really long work has not only had therapeutic aspects for you, but you were able to articulate yourself. And it’s a win for everyone. We get a wonderful story filled with deep human flaws, heartache of first loves, redemption arc and a hope for love to persist. And hopefully you also get to benefit from it by navigating through life with more grit and faith with whatever life hits you with.
Lesson Learnt
Lesson learnt. The points we made the previous episode was that this fic teaches us so many things - importance of honest communication to resolve issues and insecurities. Teaching us about how moving on and forgiveness is important.
There is so much to unpack, so if there was one or more points you would like readers to take away from this story, what would it be?
Like you said, definitely communication and how important it is in a relationship. A lot of the problems in Pride came from their lack of talking which could be solved if the two of them were locked in a room together. Yes, the long tension was sexy but a lot of time could have been saved if they were well-functioning adults lol. I think forgiveness was also a big concept in this fic, not for the sake of those who wronged you but more on your peace of mind.
So now knowing the lessons you want readers to takeaway and us understanding the kind of work Pride was to you, what was the most challenging part of writing this particular au?
I did say it was therapeutic but writing it also had me confronting a lot of emotions buried deep when I was writing it. So many aspects in Kyungsoo’s character’s life were heavily based on mine so it definitely was difficult to acknowledge it. I was also in a phase where I aimed to please people so I was rarely satisfied with the chapters I wrote no matter how good the feedback I’d receive.
I see. I suppose it is natural for when things are therapeutic, it forces you to be honest. As a reader, we can see your sincerity. Thank you for writing.
Examples
Of course we cannot talk about hardship and forget about good things. So yeolimerent, what is your favorite scene? A scene that so beautifully captures the essence of the fic, a scene that you think about when you think back into this fic?
The ending on a beach was very heavy, both in good and bad ways. Years of unsaid words had to come out and it was messy, so I definitely remember it first. The scene where they were both sitting on the sand, both tired and hopeless, reimagining what could have been if things were different and accepting there was no way of changing things, so they either leave for good or move forward together.
Probably just me, but I also love the double chapter with Jongin’s POV on everything because it sheds light on a lot of questions.
I recently reread the scene again and it is easy to feel emotional at that moment.
I have another question from my curious cat that reads: In the FAQ, you mentioned the emotional scene but I wanna know what was your favorite scene like you read the scene and went “ damn girl you kinda ate”. Would it be the same beach scene or do you have another in mind?
Jongin’s POV was definitely one of my favorite because I had to navigate a completely different character and speak from his view. I also liked the scenes where Kyungsoo was trying to find himself in New Zealand because the parallelisms with his life and something as simple as volcanos was appealing to me.
Yeolimernet, listeners would be so honored to have you read an extract from the scene in the beautiful New Zealand beach, your favorite scene.
The designer looks at the distance where the sun has slowly risen. He bites his lip hard to prevent both a smile and his sobs.
“How could you confess and build all our dreams… in a car, parked on the side of the street?” his laugh mixes perfectly with a hiccup. Soo lets his head fall on his chest when Jongin reaches for his nape.
Inspiration
Thank you for reading your favorite scene. Having you read an extract aloud like this, it just makes me wonder, what inspired you to have this au?
When I started writing it, I just wanted to see where it would take me. The moment their conflict started as college students, I found myself, even as the writer, asking for more too. I just always had this thrill in me whenever I got to start a new chapter or publish them. I looked forward to seeing what people thought. I guess that was my biggest drive to go on. EXO as a group was also very active when I was writing this story so there were still a lot of ship crumbs that helped me.
I find your trust in the process very fascinating. It becomes a journey of self discovery both for Kyungsoo and yourself.
And from this inspiration of yours, was this the original idea you had in mind when you first drafted the fic? How much has the story grown or changed while writing?
Nothing particularly different from the final product. It definitely was supposed to be shorter than 300k like the 2 sinners trilogy before it, but I really had fun writing it and felt like the scenes I came up with, no matter how tedious and uneventful they seemed, were vital for the story and the characters’ arcs.
It certainly seems that way, very purposeful and intentional scenes.
Impact
We are nearing the end of the episode, this next and last segment is on the author’s impact on the kaisoo fic community.
But before that, the last question from my CC reads: my pride yaps are never ending pls don’t mind me but anyway thank you so much for writing the fic really..even though its angst its one of my go to comfort fics. I need to get this off my chest, I felt like Wrath and Pride happened simultaneously in two parallel worlds..there is a thin line as there were lots of similarities but two fics were completely different. The emotions you conveyed, idk how to put it hope you get what I am trynna say..so how did you do srsly?
Ohh yes, they were completely different worlds. Thanks for being kind! I think my sinners trilogy are similar in a way because the sins are somehow still intertwined in other stories. You can still apply wrath on Pride, and you can very much see pride on Wrath’s characters. Idk if that makes sense but i think that’s what made them feel similar.
I hope that answers your question, anon!
Yeolimerent, what kind of writer do you consider yourself as? For example, what is the one thing you hold dear to when writing? Or what is something you would never write?
Hmm I definitely am the type to write details as vivid and palpable as possible. I’m very visual as a person so I like writing the scene where I can be as clear as I possibly can for the imagery. I also try to write realistic lines or something I wouldn’t cringe at if I hear real Kaisoo say it in real life (key word: try hahaha). I like writing characters that are deeply flawed, and then I like having them reflect on said flaws.
In terms of tropes, I’m very welcoming to a lot of them as a reader. But as a writer, being realistic like I said, I’m not particularly into farfetched or over the top tropes like Mpreg or A/B/O. But depending on the world-building, I have fun reading them and am not closing any doors about writing them in the future.
And upon identifying the things you would like to continue to do, and the things you will never do as a writer, what’s the biggest thing you learnt while writing fics? Anything surprising or impactful or moving? Be it about the storytelling, the language used or the life lessons?
Heck, number 1: it is a thousand times harder to write fics when English is not your first language! TT I’ve had a lot of writing experience outside of the ficdom but it is still a struggle to express certain thoughts in another language.
Plot-wise, I realized I also like it when my characters admit that they did certain things because they just fucked up and not everything has to have deep reasons. It’s a trend I’ve seen in my recent works and it’s always refreshing to write about people who screw up once in a while.
Thank you for writing despite it being difficult.
With all the things you have learnt yeolimerent, and with your experience, all 7 years of it, what do you think makes a great story?
Write what you want to read! I’ve scrapped a lot of stories because I found that I tried writing them to please a certain crowd but it didn’t really feel right on my part. Writing what you would like to read gives you more ideas and creative juices you didn’t know were there. Allow your characters to have flaws and give them space to grow too. I have a huge preference for slowburn stories, both as a reader and writer, because seeing the characters go through a satisfying arc is what makes a great story for me.
Ending Ment
Before we end things, dear yeolimerent, do you have any other comments you want to share with us listeners? Any teasers for ongoing AUs or a hint of upcoming AUs you have in your work in progress stage?
Nothing in progress for me sadly as I am busy with hospital work :( I might have some things in the drafts but I don’t know if they’d ever see the light of day lol. I am definitely reading comments and messages once in a while though, whether I reply or not, and it really gives me strength. I would definitely like to write more kaisoo fics in the future especially once they start interacting again, canon!
I’m happy to have the opportunity to talk about Pride like this after so many years so thank you for doing this and for appreciating the fic! I’m very grateful.
Thank you yeolimerent for taking time out of your busy schedule to be with us in spirit of the episode and my dear Jie voicing over as yeolimerent, thank you for doing this with me on a weekday.
Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 and twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode.
Do keep a lookout for next month’s episode because we will be going through Chasing Summer Skies by rainepaige08.
New episodes either every 13th of the month or 12th and 14th, special kaisoo dates, of course.
To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today’s episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast!
For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoosphere.
This month we will be looking at one fic for two episodes. First part is today, dated the 12th, second part will be on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!
Today’s episode is slightly different, the kaisoo fic podcast is joined together with two kaisoo readers! And I am also very delighted to share that on the 14th, we will have the author themselves to share their journey with this month’s fic, give insight to the details of the plot and more, so stay tuned for that, coming out tomorrow’s tomorrow!
I would just like to share with you the sequence in which we will be sharing this episode. It is broken up into 5 parts.
Very first part I will share with you the story behind the episode cover art. Next, is introducing guests plus never before done on the podcast, but an important one for guests, we have a small ice breaker ‘never have i ever’ game.
Fourth segment i will introduce the fic, soon after followed by the experience of our two guest readers on reading it based on the questions i asked on the discord.
So generally about 5 general parts.
Podcast Cover Art
This segment is on the podcast cover art because I would like to express my gratitude to Lyn who I commissioned for this episode’s cover art. Thank you Lyn for opening up commissions and being accommodating to my requests!
The story behind the podcast cover art is a reimagined take on one of the arcs in the fic. This specific scene we have Jongin giving Kyungsoo a bouquet and Kyungsoo looking at shreds of torn blueprints on the floor.
In the podcast cover art, Kyungsoo is wearing his collage outfit. Kyungsoo is looking down on his torn blueprints. This was 8 years ago.
Context for this particular position Kyungsoo is in: Kyungsoo got his work stolen by Soojung. Everyone sided with Soojung because there was no evidence of it being Kyungsoo’s work as he did not consult any advisors of the project. He is dejected, angry, frustrated, resentful because no one believes him. Kyungsoo ends up being all alone, it is as good as his hard work being torn to shreds.
In the podcast cover art, Jongin is wearing a suit as after 8 years, he is a rich, sexy CEO of a company. Jongin has hope in his eyes, he is holding out a bouquet of essentials for architect designers and flowers.
Context for this particular position Jongin is in: Jongin wants to freely show his love to Kyungsoo and make up for all the times it was hard on the both of them. Jongin later in the fic is then honest with Kyungsoo that he did not believe that Kyungsoo stole the work. So Jongin admitting that, is a second chance for kaisoo to truly work on their relationship.
Intro Guests
Introducing the guests. A few episodes ago, I promoted the kaisooists discord community server. When first starting out the server I was happily surprised to find other keen kaisooists tuning into the server. The community server accepts all kaisooists in the spectrum of casual kaisoo enjoyer to chronically deranged person experiencing kaisooism.
To celebrate having 100+ members in the kaisooists discord community server, now slightly more than 120 users, I asked users in the server to submit a comment of about 200 words on what their favourite fic is and why. We had two submissions, one by a regular author on the kaisoo fic podcast show, Haqiyin and a kaisoo reader, Jie. Haqiyin’s favorite fic is I Am Happy When I Am With You by Chesh_cat. But today we will be hosting Jie and Yu. Jie eagerly answered Pride by yeolimerent, and so that is the fic we will be going through for the day.
Introducing a bit on Jie, Jie has been in this fandom since (2013), that’s about (11 years). The moment that instilled her faith in kaisoo was when she kept seeing kaisoo as a regular pairing in wattpad fanfics when she was a newbie fan and wanted to find exo fics.
Welcome Jie, we are pleased to have you on this kaisoo fic podcast! Before we begin, do you have any opening comments you would like to make?
Hello everyone! I’m jie and i’m an exo-l from both heart and mind. Been into kaisoo most of my teenage years (until now) and not regretting it at all. And kaisoo did truly change my life and even helped me during my hard times in the past. That’s why I treasure them a lot and will pass down to all of my generations that kaisoo is real XD. My journey as a reader started in 2013, as per the introduction, I didn’t have knowledge about the famous pairings or otps that the fandom had. But because i was into wattpad, I searched for any exo fanfics I could find and that’s where I found kaisoo. At first, I was thinking about it and then I saw them on twitter and saw lots of fans shipping them, I was convinced they’re real and the hype about them makes sense. After that I started reading lots of kaisoo fanfics I could find on wattpad.
Thank you Jie for sharing! It is very delightful to know that kaisoo helped you during difficult moments in your life. It just goes to show how important kaisoo is to us, how having them as our source of happiness really pulls us out of the darkness of life and gives us the strength to continue living. It sounds really delusional, but if it helps us to continue with life, continue with striving everyday and being hard at work with the things we do, then believing in kaisoo is worth the delulu and crazy.
While preparing for this episode I saw on my timeline, user Yu was rereading Pride and with that I approached them to ask if they would be willing to be part of this episode. Since this episode is an episode talking about pride with people from the discord, I thought it would be appropriate!
So Yu is another kaisooists in the discord server as well. Like Jie, introducing a bit on Yu, Yu has been in this fandom since (2014), that’s about (10 years).The kaisoo moment that changed the trajectory of her faith in kaisoo was when kaisoo were (being dramatic on that EXO’s Secret Lotte Night event in 2016, after Kaistal was publicised).
Welcome Yu, we are also pleased to have you on this kaisoo fic podcast! Similar to Jie, do you have any opening comments you would like to make?
Hi everyone! I’m Yu and I’ve been an EXO-L since 2014. Like Jie, I was not really aware of OTPs and ships inside the fandom until I joined a roleplaying community back in 2014. That time, I was just roleplaying Kyungsoo because he’s my bias and my internet friends were shipping me with Kai roleplayers. I got really curious why “they” were being paired together so I researched a bit on them and saw a LOT of their moments. I thought, hmm, they DO have chemistry and they DO look cute together, not knowing that they will literally change the course of my life forever. That’s the time I started watching their moments together in variety shows, behind the scenes clips, and tours. After that, all I was reading on wattpad were kaisoo fan fictions, then I got introduced to AFF, livejournal, and AO3, creating this kaisoo-obsessed monster. Not only do I see Kaisoo as the people I look up to, but I think they’re the biggest reason I am who I am today.
Thank you for sharing and joining us on a short notice! I actually personally have never come across a roleplaying community? Yu, is it like tweet fics but interactive?
Yes, people have the option to roleplay their muse in an in-character way (like as idols) or they can portray their muse in an alternate universe way. People create their roleplaying accounts (at least during my time) using facebook or twitter. From that you can interact with other roleplayers and form friendships within the community too.
omg!! A fun fact is I know the roleplaying community!! . Even until now I’m still doing it as a hobby. It’s actually fun to try making accounts and interact with different roleplayers too. In that community, different idols are like friends and it could be enjoying or traumatizing lmao. I’m also a kyungsoo roleplayer and started roleplaying in 2014.
Ahhh, i see,that is interesting!
I just want to say that the both of you got into kaisoo out of curiosity. Which is very fascinating to me because it just goes to show that kaisoo’s relationship is not blatantly in your face, it is not what… Some people call a government assigned ship or fanservice. They are also not very loud in their interactions in terms of skinship and promoting together… It is a very genuine relationship because on the surface level for really casual fans, it may seem like they have a unique bond where they are more attentive to one another but not too alarming to the casual viewer. But those with sharper and inquisitive eyes may be able to read between the lines.
My point here is that… okay, how young were you when you got into kaisoo?
Jie’s age: 12 Yu’s age: 13
So being at that point in life in the pre/early teens, we may not have caught on so quickly on their special relationship. Then for the both of you being in the wattpad and roleplaying communities, you probably interacted with slightly older fans who are able to identify that there is a bigger, more intimate kind of relationship for kaisoo. This is my assumption, and with the influence of others, it piques your interest to find out more. And when we see it with our own eyes, with rose coloured lenses, without a doubt, we see that kaisoo really really exhibits a sort of more than friends, more than colleagues relationship. And I love that for them. They are also my sense of strength.
Never have i ever (fic/kaisoo related)
Ice breaker time!
Since this is a three person episode, let’s do an ice breaker to slowly get to get to know each other a bit more before diving into the fic of the day.
We will be playing ‘never have i ever’, but make it fic and kaisoo related! So for the questions, we have to guess if the person has, or has never done said thing.
We have questions we want to ask, so mayb Jie can go first?
Jie’s fic qn: Never have I ever read a fluff/romantic fic with no happy ending
Guess Jie’s answer
Yu - Since we’re talking about tags, it’s actually related to my next question, which is…
Yu’s fic qn: Never have I ever ditched a fic that has a good plot but has no proper tagging of who is the top/bottom
Guess Yu’s answer
Jie - so since we’re in the talks about top and bottom which are quite related to the R18 topic, the next NHIE is sort of related to it. The question is..
Jie’s fic qn: Never have I ever dreamed about the <intense> kaisoo fic scenes
Guess Jie’s answer
Yu - So since we’re talking about real life things in related to fics and kaisoo, the next question actually is…
Yu’s fic qn: Never have I ever read intense smut in public and in broad daylight
Guess Yu’s answer
Alexio irl qn: okay so consensus is that the three of us have read a fic in public. My question now issss: Never have I ever skipped an outing with friends/family just to read kaisoo fics
Guess Alexio answer
Real life relation…
Jie’s kaisoo qn: Never have I ever thought about kaisoo being the rumored bxb couple in k-industry by pannchoa (?)
Guess Jie’s answer
Yes, we believe and we pray.
That was fun! Okay now I see the importance of ice breaker because I feel we have more energy now to go through with the episode.
Pride by yeolimerent
Now the purpose of this episode is to commemorate having 100+ users in the kaisooists community discord server. Jie, upon writing out your response, you DMed me on Discord with a screenshot of how you exceeded the server’s character limit of 2000 by double… Now, you really must have a lot to say for this fic to go on for 4000 characters!
For this particular event, i asked server members to submit their write up by sharing with us five points:
Brief summary of the plot, character and premise.
The impact this fic had on you.
What has this fic taught you?
What particular scene was it in the fic that moved you?
Why do you love this fic?
Jie, first question of the episode is: Why did you choose Pride by yeolimerent to share with us in commemoration of the 100 users in the kaisooist’s discord community server?
Pride deserves to be promoted more especially for people who love tropes similar to it. Based on my opinion, as a silent reader most of the time, it needs more recognition because it is written to perfection. I’ve been seeing people’s recommendations promoting some overrated kaisoo fanfic (though they deserve it too and they are overrated for a reason) and I haven’t found one recommending Pride so here I am! Sharing this kind of fic is new to me actually because I’m not a hundred percent fan of tropes like enemies to lovers but surprise! I loved this one and it deserves love from everyone too.
I read this fic only after your recommendation, so thank you for putting this on the discord. Without you, we would not have gone through the fic!
I’m glad to hear that though :>>
I would also like to thank you for participating in the event at that point! The discord means a lot to me, and it is nice to see people engaging in it as well!
but oh! I just remembered something. I think back in 2022, if i am not mistaken Pride was the 3rd most recommended fic when kaisooficrec on twitter did a 30 day challenge in january to celebrate their birth month! (https://kaisooficrec.tumblr.com/post/674974951042891776/kfr-challenge).
But before we dive deeper into the episode, let’s talk about the fic, plot wise and technical aspects:
Pride by yeolimerent is a 300+ thousand-word fic. Very dramatic with tags including: angst; sexual tension; break up/make up; timeskips; miscommunication; mutual pining; enemies to lovers; rags to riches
Warnings: dubious consent; smut (bottom soo); minor character deaths.
The author warns readers that this is not for the faint hearted, and we quote: I just have to warn you that this has so many flaws, characters and story-wise. So if you’re not into complicated things, please save yourself some time.
The author warns readers because this is a massive work. Upon reading you see each time you think it gets better, something will freaking give you a whiplash. It is dramatic, it is emotional.
Reading from the author’s summary:
The life of being a chaebol son should be easy, except that it’s hell. Do Kyungsoo has one goal—to escape and be free from this leash. So when a heartbreak from his first love gave him the reason to finally leave this hellhole for good, he grabbed the chance willingly.
Years later, he’s pulled back to the place, the life, and the man he thought he already escaped. What’s worse is when everything he had is taken away from him, by the very same man who just used to be his driver… but now surely isn’t.
first time vs second time
Now being a three person episode, we’ll take turns going through the fic, our experience reading the fic, what we are learning from the fic, the ways the fic impacted us and we will end with us reading extracts from our favourite parts of the fic.
Since Jie started off answering the first question, maybe Yu, you’d like to take this next one:
While getting ready for this episode, we all recently reread Pride again right? How different was it reading it for the first time versus this recent time you reread it again?
Personally, I felt like reading it the second time around made me look at the plot and the characters in a more in-depth perspective. Of course, the first time I read it emotionally wrecked me for days (XD) that I had to stop myself and pause from reading from time to time to process the events in the fic, and it surely did not change when I reread it again, but this time, I felt like I got to feel each of the characters emotions first-hand too. Like, I understood where Kyungsoo was coming from when he was being prideful and stubborn, and also why was Jongin bad at communicating which is more frustrating!
I see, so for Yu, you were able to immerse yourself in the characters and the meanings behind the things they do. I think usually for these kinds of fics, where it is fast paced. Very action packed, where there is always something happening and you are always kept on your toes. So naturally in your first reading of the fic you would want to know what happens next. So you read as fast as you can, taking breaks when it gets too overwhelming.
Yes, I agree. The first time I read it I never realized the simplest things in the story will make sense in the plot in the next chapters. Rereading it was an enjoyable experience.
Indeed it was an enjoyable experience. And what about Jie, did you have a similar or different experience?
I actually relate to Yu’s response! like the first time i’ve read the pride, some of the scenes are blurred to me and didn’t make sense so I was like ‘why is jongin like this and such’ since i’ve observed that the pov heavily falls into Kyungsoo’s rather than jongin’s. And also well i’m kind of scared of what’s about to happen every time since it’s my first time reading it (it’s my default emotion when i read long fics for the first time). but when i reread it, the plot became more defined in my mind and everything just makes sense! and one thing i’ve also observed is that, the effects of each scene are still the same for me when i reread it. I still have mixed emotions and despite knowing what to happen in the next scene, i’m still not prepared for it ><
The delightful thing of reading it a second time is that we sort of know how the plot unfolds… so we are able to revisit the scenes and slowly read through the details in the beginning of the fic where yeolimerent gives tiny hints of how the plot will develop in the later parts of Pride. Moments like the carelessness of Kyungsoo leaving his blueprint in the room without much thought. As a reader, we also did not give it much thought, but that became one of the most important points of the story that pushed Kyungsoo to be off the grid, and he continues to struggle with that problem until almost the end of the fic. So when we reread it again, we are more aware of the small bits of information yeolimerent gives. That goes to show how detailed a writer yeolimerent is.
That is so true. I really admire yeolimerent as a writer. My twitter mutuals would know how annoying I can be when it comes to this fic because it’s always in my head like… Of course there are a lot of fics I love too, but Pride just really stood out because it has all the tropes I like in a fic; exes to lovers, CEO au, rags to rich, angst with happy ending, and slow burn.
I know right!! I actually love how important the small details in yeolimerent’s fic! She’s just so amazing despite knowing some of her fics late. My first fic from her is the smear campaign that i really love so much too!! But for this year, the pride just brought me the roller coaster feeling of emotions and I’m convinced that it will be the top tier fic I have encountered this year.
Omg smear campaign… I first read that one recently during my vacation. Mind you I read Pride BEFORE reading ’smear campaign’ and I was genuinely shit scared because what if yeolimeret decides to make one of them dishonest and to use the other for political gain… but thank kaisoo, that yet again we trust in the love they have for each other that we see kaisoo happy in the fic.
Surprising
Upon reading Pride, were there any thoughts that kept coming up? For one, the thoughts that kept recurring in my head were just… how is it possible for love to continue when both parties have hurt each other so much? How are they still somehow able to gravitate towards one another? It really pains me… this fic with its cruel twists and turns. When I say cruel here, it is not a slander against the author, but rather an acknowledgement of how their writing is very gripping and done wonderfully. The art of knowing when to say what happens, keeping the reader on their toes and sharing with us a beautiful story of how kaisoo’s love prevails yet again. Writing meaningfully so that readers are able to feel for the characters and love them in their imperfections.
Before I reached the ending of the pride where they mend their relationship in new zealand if i’m not mistaken, i was so so mad for like yeah i know kyungsoo is this prideful and have flaws but he didn’t deserve any of what people did to him including jongin (still completely unaware of jongin’s side here) because i know they have something stronger but it’s kind of cruel to have a love like they both have and kyungsoo needed to heal !! and honestly, i was ready to fall into the mode of “all of the forms of love sucks” hahahaha !!
I agree a hundred percent, I too was about to give up on kaisoo having their happy end… A scene that comes to me is the moment in the last few chapters when Jongin is seen on his knees and begging for Kyungsoo to stay. I couldn’t help but feel so many emotions. The most glaring thought I have is what a bastard Jongin is. He is definitely not one a 100% but he has a lot of flaws and so does Kyungsoo… but i was just wondering as to how Jongin has really hurt a person who means a lot to him, and this person in turn loves him, why issit when Kyungsoo wants to set boundaries, it is very difficult for Jongin to accept that… The premise is ridiculous to me, but that is a reflection of their choices in the fic, again it is not a slander against the writer, yeolimerent really does a wonderful job and it is evident when you feel so strongly for the characters.
So my question for the both of you, Jie you go first: What surprised you the most in this fic?
Probably, the scene that surprised me was when kyungsoo chose to run away with Seonho. because at first i kinda expected that kyungsoo will probably leave everything with the much pressure and issues happening in his life, but the last thing i expected for kyungsoo to do is him choosing to live somewhere far away with his ex 😭. i don’t know because my first hunch is like Kyungsoo will leave but like, alone but then the author is like ✨surprise!!!✨i have this second thought that maybe jongin will go with him but it’s kind of blurry when jongin and krystal interact in other scene again ughhh.
Oooh that part! I found that scene really heartwarming in a way? I didn’t expect that Kyungsoo would be running away with him too, knowing their history. Thank god they did that because I genuinely believe that Seonho, as a character, had a lot of potential, and yeolimerent took great advantage of it in the plot, which I love.
Right?! But i haven’t look deeper into seonho’s character there because i’m getting whiplash from kyungsoo’s feelings TT
I understand Jie’s point on it being surprising! You usually wont find exes spending time with each other… what more traveling and staying together…But interestingly enough it feels like a natural progression to have Seonho travel and stay with Kyungsoo. Yes they were romantically involved, but they are able to put the past behind and be genuine best friends without romantic feelings. And I also agree with Yu that Seonho was the best person Kyungsoo could have ran away with. They already knew and understood each other deeply because of their family backgrounds and I find their relationship to be very endearing… something very nice to read.
Yu, were you surprised at that point too? Or what other moments of the fic made you feel surprised?
When I first read this fic, I was convinced that Jongin had feelings for Kyungsoo the first time they met each other. I also feel kind of skeptical with my hunch since he always seemed like he’s siding with Soojung and setting Kyungsoo aside? (Probably because he lacked boundaries huhu) However, I was genuinely surprised and CRUSHED when I found out that Jongin was in LOVE with Kyungsoo during his POV chapters. Jongin LOVED Kyungsoo way more than I imagined and probably more than Kyungsoo could ever love him back. For Jongin, all he did, especially during the 8 years they were apart, will always be FOR Kyungsoo. So, to answer the question, I know that Jongin had the hots for Kyungsoo from the start, but I wasn’t aware that he was in DEEP.
I relate to what Yu said at her first statement. Like I was sooo convinced too! But keep getting sidetracked whenever there’s Jongin and Krystal interactions. But you know, i have half thought in my mind that i kinda expected that between kaisoo, one from them will be inlove hahaha my mind is like ‘come on! Someone should be whipped between them coz if i’m not mistaken i read a kaisoo fic and not kaistal or am raging lol’
HAHA, I too would be fustrated if it was a kaistal endgame… Okay so hopping onto that statement, that element of surprise of the fic yu, you mentioned being genuinely surprised and crushed upon finding out that Jongin was deeply in love with Kyungsoo. So how, upon going back to reading the fic for the second time, how did reading it impact you?
Well, rereading this fic already knowing the twist or the surprising part in mind, it made me analyze every interaction they have before leading to that point. I always pay attention to how Jongin will react whenever Kyungsoo does something and I felt frustrated why this man sucks at communicating his feelings and lacks boundaries to the point where Kyungsoo got badly hurt by the woman he was trying to protect. But then again, I realized that they were young and immature. When they reunited again after years of being apart, I actually saw how they both grew and matured, making more rational choices and not giving in to their impulses or defense mechanisms immediately unlike when they were young.
Wahh!! I love hearing yu’s insight regarding the fic ><
Yu, when you mentioned kaisoo upon being apart then reuniting again, how they both grew and matured, i agree with you to a certain extent. I think it is also a common thing with life. In general when we go through something traumatic or difficult, we pull ourselves away from the situation. Which Kyungsoo does.
Kyungsoo is soooo real for running away though like, that makes him a human and not like a true fictional character, if y’all know what i mean. Because it is human nature to run away when something inconvenient happens in our lives. And i do that too, but not like kyungsoo running away in other country, (i don’t have the money for that yet HAHA) to be honest, the scene where kyungsoo’s life was already fucked up (due to his dad) and no one believing him when his project got stolen, it is the maximum peak of pain tbh i’m GLAD he did ran away but i’m not glad that he got dragged back. Life sucks (with personal sentiments haha).
Yes exactly, so he left, but then a cruel twist of fate forces them to meet again. And the almost 10 years apart really has them thinking they have grown out of each other. But very evidently so, within the 8 years, we see the both of them yearning for each other despite being apart even after they hurt each other so much.
I agree! Despite lying to themselves that they only want revenge (in Jongin’s case) and they moved on (in Kyungsoo’s case), it is undeniable that did not stop thinking about each other for almost a decade they were apart. They are each other’s greatest and true love.
Even in life, fate has this thing where it will test you. It will see if you have learnt from your past, learnt from your mistakes and sometimes if we do not actively practice how to train ourselves to be better, when put in the same position as before, that is the test. Will we make the same mistake again? Will we consciously and cautiously make a more informed decision? Will we learn from the past? Or will we make a worse decision?
And I think for Kyungsoo, after the intense shock he got from learning that Jongin is his superior, he slowly eases into the idea. Then he is reminded of his younger days where they were young college students. And because of the reminiscing, he falls into the same head space, the same habits that he had previously…
I think Kyungsoo going back to his toxic ways is a proof that he was not able to properly heal at all and was just repressing everything all this time.
and this time i found it to be worse? It is a very bad coping mechanism where both kaisoo are terrible at communication, so they resort to a very toxic cycle of sex… slowly overtime it does get better, but even when you believe everything is getting better, there comes a bigger whiplash that pushes kaisoo away from each other… i keep finding myself thinking wow, they really cant catch a break… and when they do it is very measured, you can feel the oncoming doom and it feels like a game.
To be honest, if kaisoo has good communication here the pride will be just two shot fic LOL.
Ok that is very true. That tension for conflict will always force the plot to move.
I agree with the toxic cycle they have especially when one of them has a view of sex can be casual too omg. I can remember I had a phase while reading Pride: I was like talking, throwing side comments as if Kyungsoo or Jongin from Pride could hear me. That’s similar to when you’re watching a great movie and trying to talk with the main lead HAHAHAAHA. But i sorta think that kaisoo should have like longer periods of healing time before they go back as lovers :<
And for Jie, how did reading Pride the second time impact you?
I’m gonna be honest here because I don’t count myself as a huge fan of heavy angst stories because I know the effect they have on me. Yes yes I kinda expect that i’ll be asked why i decided to read when pride has complete tags. Sometimes, I have this mood where I want to read something beyond my comfort zone (tags like similar to pride, top soo fics and such) and I have that when I decided to save the pride in my bookmarks. My emotions during the first time reading Pride versus rereading it, didn’t change at all, despite knowing what to happen anymore. I felt like I absorbed kyungsoo’s emotions and I feel the pain too when everything is not falling to his plans. My mood shifts perfectly depending on the scenes and the feeling of being scared despite already knowing what’s about to happen in the next scenes never left me even reading it in the second time 😭. I’ve always been anxious of intense emotions and it’s like a default emotion for me. The intense scenes just always give me the thrum of a different adrenaline rush every time.
I can relate to the adrenaline rush oh my! It is interesting that we are here today because Jie, you very passionately recommended this fic yet you are not a huge fan of heavy angst. So what are your favorite tropes to read if not heavy angst?
I believe I have a huge imaginative mind, because I love reading a lot of sci-fi and falling into the fantasy category. There’s always angst in every story, I don’t mind it as long as the story has an ending I’m satisfied with. Strangers to lovers is also an interesting trope for me hehe.
Your favorite tropes are almost the total opposite of Pride haha, so why Pride? What made you read this fic?
I’m gonna answer this with a different view of mine, the tags that the Pride have didn’t interest me a lot because as you said, it’s the total opposite of what the tropes I love. I think I have taken the risk to read it because I’m actually trying to explore different tropes now compared to before. This fic totally stood out a lot to me this year (from all the fanfic I’ve read this year) . I pretty much regret not choosing it to read earlier than necessary because it has been sitting in my bookmarks for a year before I read it. And also I want to read something beyond the capabilities of my emotions (this sounds like i’m applying for a job LOL) . But for real, I opted to be more open minded in the tropes that I didn’t quite like before and here I am! I loved it but probably it will take some time before I read something heavy like pride hehe.
That is quite stimulating to explore different tropes, making the choice to be more open minded. Eventually what gave you the push to finally read it? Was it from the summary or the taggings or someone else recommending it…?
I decided to read it amidst the stress I was having earlier this year. Maybe the stress or the will I have to be distracted at that time pushed me to reading pride. I’ve started reading the pride during my board exam (that’s like a national exam in the philippines that requires us to be a registered professional) but i managed to finish the pride after my board exam and got the results HAHA. Because I realized that I added more nerve wrecking emotions upon reading the few first chapters of pride. And I’m glad I did that instead of distracting myself during my review season.
What about Yu, are you a heavy angst reader?
I can’t say I’m a heavy angst reader but I CAN say I’m a fan of it. Like if I’m going to rank it, it’ll be in my top 5 fave fic trope, but I can never just casually read angst fics in my free time like it’s the morning newspaper, you know? I can only read angst fics when I’m in the right headspace for it, like reading angst that makes me sob on my bed at 3am haha.
Understand, understand.., reading angst when you are not in the proper headspace… may make your day suddenly gloomy.,,
Going back to the 5 questions that was asked for the discord submissions:
We have covered the first question on, a brief summary of the plot, character and premise. And just a few minutes ago the question on the impact this fic had on you.
Lesson Learnt, Fav Scenes, Why
The next three questions will be on: What has this fic taught you? And what particular scene was it in the fic that moved you? And why do you love this fic?
Let’s start with yu. Yu, what has this fic taught you?
Pride has taught me that pushing people away on purpose will not serve us any good and will just lead to more regrets in the future. Communicating what you truly feel to the one you love is really the key to resolve any issues or insecurities you have. I have also learned that what you think about other people or whatever their intentions are, may not be necessarily true and concluding things without properly talking it out will just result in more problems and as I have mentioned, regret and guilt.
I like your points. I want to expand on it a bit more, but before that upon identifying the two learning points for this fic, what is your favorite scene from Pride? Or what is a prominent scene that you always find yourself thinking about?
For me, my favorite scene in Pride was when Jongin went after Kyungsoo at the bar and he saw that Kyungsoo was kissing Seonho. Then their confrontation happened and Kyungsoo said a lot of hurtful things to Jongin and the latter was begging for him to talk this out. For me it was the turning point for Jongin to completely change his life and prove to Kyungsoo what he lost (which absolutely backfired because he’s still whipped as hell with Kyungsoo).
Yes and this scene happens in chapter 11 titled ‘Escape Plan’ right? Could you do grace us by reading an extract from the chapter?
Jongin shuts his eyes, obviously bothered by the idea but chose not to acknowledge it. With pleading gaze, he takes Kyungsoo’s hand again.
“Soo…” he mumbles shakily, “What’s the problem? If I did something wrong… then I’m sorry. Let’s go now, please?”
“Get off!”
Something pierces his chest when Jongin’s eyes begin to glisten. But no, Soo’s far from done. He’ll end this once and for all.
“What? Still don’t get it? Fine, I’ll elaborate.” he exhales a deep breath and flashes his casual smile, “You’re an experiment. Get it? Flavor of the month, whatever the fuck you want to call it! And now I realize I actually prefer rich, fun assholes who can give me thrill—you’re not it.”
End of scene.
So, what I really love about this scene is the intensity of both the characters’ emotions. I love how Jongin was mad at Kyungsoo for almost making out with his ex, it then turned into him begging for Kyungsoo to stop hurting him. On the other hand, Kyungsoo is blinded by his anger and pain with what happened with his father and Soojung that he resorted to hurting Jongin and proving him “wrong”. For others, it might seem that this part is all just for the sake of drama, but I genuinely believe this was Jongin’s turning point into reaching for his dreams and taking Kyungsoo back in the next chapters. He may have had different intentions (revenge) in the beginning, but at the end of the day, Jongin cannot resist his first love.
Thank you for sharing that scene. Intense emotions indeed. And with that it forces kaisoo apart.
A point i have after Yu mentioned having learnt that pushing people away does us no good, the scene that comes to me is a while after Kyungsoo goes back to Korea. To set the context a bit more, I think it was a few days after Seonho went back to Korea. After the scene in the carpark, Jongin brought Kyungsoo to his mansion. Seonho purposely made it seem as though Kyungsoo still had feelings for him, so Jongin got mad. In the car it really is very heartbreaking to see Kyungsoo cry and cry and cry… The moment that gets to me is the following day. Jongin takes Kyungsoo on a ride of nostalgia… Brings him to the furniture shop and then the diner… the diner where his last memories of the place were just so terrible… let me read an extract from the scene.
These are two bits from chapter 24 titled Not Allowed. Extract goes like this:
Soo keeps his silence and the hope falters on the other’s face as he finally takes notice.
"Soo.” he calls, “What’s wrong?”
The designer shuts his eyes and firmly shakes his head again, “Nothing. Just tired.”
Even the familiar noise around brings him a headache. Do you know that nostalgia that pierces right through you?
This is more than that. When he left this country and this life so many years ago, this place is one of the things he buried. He marked his own words not to step foot here again but here he is now, with Jongin right in front of him as if his whole life is a big joke.
Do you remember that? Soo asks himself as bitterness begins to stand out among the other glaring emotions, the last time you were here, do you remember?
End of scene.
You best believe i fucking CRIED! This moment, although short, you can feel the pulling of Kyungsoo’s heart. It is very distressing to read…
Yoooo this scene is actually painful and all, like I wonder how disappointed Kyungsoo is in himself for going back to the past he’s trying to run away and forget omg!!!
The next moment I will be sharing is the point on what Yu shared on communicating what you truly feel to resolve any issues or insecurities.
This moment is slightly after the scene I read a minute ago, and the extract goes like this:
Soo grits his teeth hard before looking at him.
“Why did you bring me here?” he asks between heavy breaths, “Of all places, why here, Jongin? Huh? Why Kare?”
Kyungsoo finally takes courage this time. He gains the guts to look at Jongin and ask. He watches how the other man’s face completely softens. It’s like he never thought he would have to answer this question soon.
“Because…” Jongin sighs in defeat, sounding calmer this time, “because this place is special to us.”
Soo’s eyes begin to glisten. He swallows hard before weakly looking at Jongin.
“You’re being so unfair.” he mutters pleadingly, “You’re unfair. I don’t need this. Please… just stop.”
Jongin steps closer to him and Soo takes a step back by instinct.
“How am I being unfair, Soo?” he hates how hurt Jongin looks. Because this isn’t the image he needs to guilt him every night when it’s his right to move on, “You’re the one I want. If I need to prove it in any way, then I will.”
It feels like a strong blow for Soo. But more than anything else, he refuses to believe he’s hearing it, too.
End of scene.
Here we find that Jongin does not understand why Kyungsoo is feeling and acting in a slight offensive manner. Kyungsoo actively and purposefully makes it very difficult for Jongin and builds up his walls so that he is unreadable… but these bursts of heavy and difficult emotions that bubble through the walls makes it very confusing for Jongin. Kyungsoo definitely does not share his true, honest and vulnerable thoughts. And as a reader the miscommunication part hurts.
Jie, how about your learning point of Pride? What did this fic teach you about life?
This fic actually helped me to understand more and give me deeper insights about the flaws of each person, the differences we have and what we need to work out for ourselves when we’re making bonds to other people. And also adding that no matter what happens to your life, you only have yourself as your best pal because even the most trusted person you have, will not understand you and can be the reason for your downfall. BUT then no matter how painful we went through, moving on and forgiveness is important.
I agree, moving on and forgiveness is indeed important in life.
And jie, share with us, what is your favourite scene from Pride? Or what is a scene that you think about when you think of this fic?
I think in all of the scenes in Pride, my favourite scene of all time will be the part where kyungsoo and baekhyun mend their broken friendship. I really love the part where despite being hurt, kyungsoo still cares for baekhyun and tries to help him in any way possible and all while protecting himself too. I can’t really put much into words but I do find it beautiful that they both still managed to fix their bond together and in the end, it’s baekhyun’s turn to help kyungsoo in a way for him to finally settle on the person that makes him happy. They both want happiness for each other and it’s just so genuine.
Ah, chapter 26 titled Make It Up To You… with that, Jie, Could you do us the honor of reading an extract from that chapter?
“You can never lie to me, Baekhyun.” Soo looks in front, pausing to drink, “We could stop being friends and I’d still know you better than anyone.”
The other man’s expression is hard, obviously tugged in his most fragile spot. But then, his lips begin to quiver. Baekhyun bites it hard before looking away.
“Just tell me.” Soo tells him without any display of emotion once again. He doesn’t know what Baekhyun wants to get from him so he keeps it neutral.
“I thought we’re not friends?” Baekhyun grins again but the pain is slowly resurfacing on his face now, “I don’t really need your sympathy right now, Soo.”
“I’m not giving you sympathy. I want to hear it and by the end, I can decide if you’ve been an idiot or not. I can even make you feel worse if you’d like me to.” Kyungsoo says without batting an eye and the other boy is speechless again, “Just tell me everything and stop keeping it in, dumbass.”
End of scene.
I just love how Kyungsoo is not giving Baekhyun sympathy for what’s happening to his old friend’s life. But because it’s only Kyungsoo who knows him since day one, it’s also him who can only understand what’s happening to Baekhyun. Friendships are falling into platonic relationships already, so what Kyungsoo and Baekhyun have in this scene is a huge factor that helped them both heal from their personal issues. Friendships deserve closures too just like romantic relationships, and this scene gave them the closure they both need. I think it’s beautiful that when Kyungsoo managed to mend his bond with Baekhyun, his bond with Jongin came after.
Thank you for sharing that scene. I really like the point that friendships need closure too. The people you meet in life, friends and family… Relationships and generally life as well, it is a journey. There are moments we may not necessarily get along and our relationship with them may not be the best, which we see from this fic that it is perfectly fine. Because who knows?
Yes you may have a difficult friendship, but after the wound from the friendship has mellowed down a bit, there are opportunities, as Jie mentioned, to mend the friendship. As long as both parties are still well and alive, nothing is set in stone, there is always a choice to build that burnt bridge.
Now ladies and gays and kaisoo listeners of the podcast, we have come to the end of the last segment. This segment we looked at three different points of learning from Pride and each of us read a moment in the fic that holds a special place in our hearts.
We have reached the end of the episode, so yu and jie, do you have any other running thoughts that you have that we did not cover today, be it thoughts on the fic or your experience in the podcast today?
First of all, If I could, I would like to send a huge love for yeolimerent for writing such a masterpiece. She has put me on a thrilling roller coaster of emotions that I’m so torn from crying or loving her story. But as always, love wins!! She wrote the characters to perfection with their flaws and I think that’s just so amazing because I could never do that huhu. But anyway, I’m so glad that I took the risk of reading Pride because I got to learn a lot of things that I could put into real life. And I’m sooo happy that I get to share this experience with Yu and my dear Alexio. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to make this podcast but then, I’m so glad that you made the discord, and meeting you is one of the main highlights of my year. Sending forever love to kaisoo and kaisooists < 333
Aw, you are so sweet. I am also very grateful. Thank you for joining the discord, thank you for coming on the show with Yu and I.
For Pride, I really want to say thank you to yeolimerent for creating this masterpiece. Reading it every time is always an experience. The way the plot unfolded, the characters and their flaws were curated, and the emotions were unveiled is just chef’s kiss. As for the podcast, it has been an honor to be a part of this episode and the fact that I get to talk about something I’m really passionate about. I hope I get to do things outside of my comfort zone more often and I wanted to say thank you to you and Jie for having me here.
Yu and Jie, you are both most welcome, and it is a joy to have hosted kaisoo readers today. I will relay your sentiments to yeolimerent. This is the end of the podcast episode, but this is not the end of our journey together as kaisooists, and as kaisooists in the discord, because there are many things to engage in, in the server. I do hope to see the both of you, and our dear listener for this episode, coming in on the discord!
Dear listener, the link to the ao3 for Pride will be given below in the notes section.
With that, as I mentioned earlier in the episode, we will get a chance to have a chat with the author of the fic. So tomorrow’s tomorrows’s episode will be with yeolimerent!
New episodes either every 13th of the month, in commemoration of kaisoo day in january, or 12th and 14th of the month.
To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today’s episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to the next episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
Hello dear kaisooist. Last month we had an author’s session with haqiyin where we spoke about the three ‘i’s, the author’s inspiration for ideas, the author being influenced by other authors and lastly her impact on the kaisoo community.
Today we have haqiyin back with us to further dive into the segment of the author’s session that covered the author’s most defining fic, the selected few that haqiyin choses to be completely hers and holds great significance.
Already in the previous episode, we spoke about two other fics, ‘noise’ and ‘swap’. And today we are back because the fic we are going through today is very important to haqiyin so we need to give the fic its due.
Hello there haqiyin, do you have any opening comments to start us off with?
Hello readers! It is I, Haqiyin, resident kaisoo smut writer on AO3~
We are glad to have a returning guest on the show! Thank you again, haqi for joining us today.
The fic of the day is haqiyin’s my dear.
Technical Aspects of Fic
I’ll just give a brief introduction to the fic of the day and then we can go through your journey with the fic.
‘my dear’ by haqiyin is about 14k words. Set in a universe where kaisoo are married. Characters in the fic include the rest of EXO and kaisoo’s family members. General tags include Healing; Hurt+Comfort; Fluff; Slight Angst. Content warnings include Temporary Amnesia. And as it is haqiyin, it of course has smut, bottomsoo for those who are particular.
First question for this episode is: At what point of your writer’s journey was ‘my dear’ published?
Pretty early on! I started writing My Dear after I finished with Swap pt.1. It took me four months to completely finish it because at the time I kept it in my drafts to brew as I still had no idea yet on how to end it and how to progress it. I was already writing heavy smut in the meantime with Swap collections, Pretty, August Challenge and Noise, so I could focus heavily on the angst and hurt/comfort trope for My Dear. After finishing Noise, I decided to wrap up My Dear and publish it in September, four months after it was first written in July.
Wow it took you four months to birth this beautiful one shot.
In the previous episode, you mentioned you identify yourself to be a smut writer, to be a writer who focuses on kinks and all that. But the nature of the fic of the day ‘my dear’ is different. ‘my dear’ has elements of Healing and Hurt+Comfort. So what made you try something different?
At the time, I was mainly writing smut-focused one-shots fics (Swap, Camboy collection, etc). I wanted to explore writing other tropes that don’t revolve around sex or kinks. It’s more of my own wanting to see how I can write angst or other tropes well.
That’s quite encouraging, actually. For you to be good at something, and instead of getting bored or putting it aside, you branch out, discover other aspects of different tropes and settings.
—
What about this fic stands out to you? Why do you identify it as your most defining fic?
What stands out the most to me is Kyungsoo rediscovering his love. It’s such a process that I wanted to write in his perspective because I was curious of the turn of events that would lead after learning that he’s married, to a man, and he had lost his memory. I identify it as my most defining fic as of now because I genuinely loved writing how everything unravelled and Kaisoo’s reaction to the little things. I cried and wrote my heart out when I wrote the scene where Jongin was crying because I wanted to convey how sad and tough it was on his part too, since we’re reading in Kyungsoo’s POV.
The power of words. I myself cried during the scene where Jongin expressed his pain of the thought of losing his husband completely and who cried his eyes out after Kyungsoo’s accident. And knowing that you, haqiyin, cried too, is in a way comforting? Like a reader is not alone in this journey of heartache because the author herself had also felt it, and probably felt more for it than a reader is able to imagine.
But walk us through, how it was like to fix the premise of kaisoo in this AU and have them come alive for you to then feel so deeply for them?
I basically opened a theatre in my head and became delusional enough to imagine the entire storyline and how sad or devastating everything was. I touched on what Kyungsoo or Jongin would actually feel if they’re in the situation themselves and added a little bit of my perspective of how my version of Kaisoo would behave, if it makes sense? It’s difficult to explain but I was invested in writing their emotions about the whole situation.
The amnesia trope could’ve gone downhill with Kyungsoo forgetting Jongin entirely and maybe leaving him but I didn’t want that, so I wrote him embracing his accident and coming to terms what his life was like before the accident. A rediscovering of his character and the chapters in his life.
So you could visualise the scene in your head, you were able to translate what you had in your mind into words, taking into consideration the kind of person fans see kaisoo as, along with your own perception of how kaisoo would be like if ever in the position of the characters in the fic.
You mentioned the fic could have gone downhill with Kyungsoo forgetting Jongin entirely… so there was a possibility of things going differently. With that said, was this the original idea you had in mind when you first drafted the fic? How much has the story grown or changed while writing?
The original idea was total amnesia, because I remember a JongKey fanfic i read years (prior 2013), that was about total amnesia and they didn’t have a happy ending (broke up). But I didn’t want them to break up completely, but I also didn’t want them to find their way back from scratch (meeting up, dating and then falling in love). So I set the stage with marriage (so they don’t need to date/meet up), and went into the direction of healing from an illness/accident instead, because I have experience on that part (being the caretaker of a partner).
I swear… thank the literature heavens and thank the trust we have in kaisoo that you wrote healing Kyungsoo and then him falling in love with Jongin all over again.
The JongKey fic must have really hurt you seeing how you needed to have your own version of it and write your preferred end to it. It is intriguing you say you have that experience of taking care of another. Your experience is a part of your personal life, a life that is part of a whole, so that is the part of an established relationship. You are taking care of someone you already know, so you already have had experiences with them outside of the illness they go through and this aspect of taking care of someone is just an added part of being there and being dutiful to the other. This fic we are not entering it as a meeting up/dating stage as you mentioned earlier. We do not see their first impressions of each other, but thankfully we see their love is still strong and as you mentioned, upon the accident Kyungsoo learns to love Jongin again.
Just to add on how the fic started to come about, this was the sentence I imagined Kyungsoo saying for a plot, the reason the amnesia, accident and all the hurt comfort ideas included in My Dear. “If peace ever manifests itself physically, then my peace is you. Forever, my peace is you. And I hope I bring you peace too.”
The hurt and comfort we get to see love in a different light, something deeper and more intertwined. Similarly to your own life, the people you have taken care of are those who are close to you. They are not strangers you drop just because something happens. With kaisoo in your ‘my dear’, we see the element of being dutiful to another, just another part of their journey together.
—
You mentioned having experience in being the caretaker of another, for this question you don’t need to go into intimate detail, maybe just a brief snippet of what inspired you in real life to write this fic.
The only touch of reality I included was the part of Jongin taking care of Kyungsoo throughout the whole fic. At the hospital, at home and carrying him etc. I’ve taken care of my partner in that way before and it’s easy writing those parts especially. The emotional rollercoaster I wrote for Jongin was merely for the plot and only reflected a little about my experience. The actions by him, I wrote based on my experience, but his emotions, his reactions and his words are solely based on him.
Jongin taking care of Kyungsoo were based on your experience while the emotions, reactions and words were by him. I really respect the author’s ability to write based on their experience and make it different from their personal life to bring something so precious, a piece of yourself to the fandom.
I’m trying to understand this concept. The concept of how a fic, or here, a character, how do they write themselves? In the best way possible, you are the writer, so help me understand how… in this case, the emotions, his reactions and his words are solely based on Jongin and your words being used?
What I meant by his emotions, reactions and words are solely based on Jongin was what my perception of how Jongin would say and behave, purely from my perception and perspective of what I’ve known of his personality by observing him through KPOP content. When I’m writing Kaisoo, there’s a fine line between the Jongin that we see on screen, the Kai personality he built for his idol-life and the Jongin personality the shipping fandom built. In this case, I try to touch into the soft, gentle and reserved Jongin that we hear so much about.
I absolutely love the fact that you identify the fine line between the different parts of who Jongin, who Kai is as a personality. It shows that you are sort of keeping true to who we believe a bit on who this person is based on how we see them. Seeing them in KPOP content and putting them in an alternate universe where they are still the people we perceive them to be, but just in a different circumstance.
Going back to the question on the snippet of your own life in the fic, this is a follow up to that: Having to care for a partner who is dependent on you, and upon writing ‘my dear’, in terms of the life lessons and your journey as a writer, how do you feel?
I don’t feel anything sad or upset at rewriting those caretaking scenes, because I’ve taken care of my dad when he had cancer and my mom when she’s fallen sick, and I’ve taken care of my ex-boyfriend when he was in the hospital. I wouldn’t say I’m emotional when taking care of them because I don’t cry easily in heavy situations. It’s an experience, which I know so many are strong to go through and I wouldn’t count myself as strong because I legitimately go into autopilot mode when I’m in it.
I believe you are strong, haqi. Going into autopilot mode is a strength you have because you put the other’s needs first and you are able to attend to the other accordingly.
So how was the experience like, having gone through something like that, then writing a semblance from it and then developing it into a fic like ‘my dear’?
It’s helpful in some ways and a little bit melancholic. Since I don’t feel heavy when I’m being the caretaker, I was just doing my duty as a daughter and at the time, a nice girlfriend. I tried my best to convey it through Jongin when I wrote about him doing his duty as a husband. In my personal opinion, I admire those who don’t crumble and cry when heavy situations come forth (like emergency workers), but it is more human for us to cry about them. So I tried showing it through Jongin. I can see him being stone-faced and taking charge to get everything sorted out while his husband is in the hospital, as if he’s on autopilot but I can also see him crying to himself alone once he’s off his ‘autopilot mode’.
You spoke about the scene in the beginning of this episode, where Jongin was crying because you wanted to convey how sad and tough it was on his part too, since we’re reading in Kyungsoo’s POV. It is as if the roles momentarily swapped. Kyungsoo who has been experiencing physical pain and Jongin holding out for him. And now is swapped as Jongin is the one in so much pent up emotional pain and Kyungsoo is the one comforting his husband. It is very raw. After reading this fic, easily the biggest take away for me of this story is that you can never break the bond of true love. No matter how deep the pain, the suffering and the loneliness they go through, it will never surpass the depth of true love. At the very least, your mind may forget, but your body doesn’t.
In last month’s episode when i asked you about your inspiration for your written works… you mentioned the same quote: “If peace ever manifests itself physically, then my peace is you. Forever, my peace is you. And I hope I bring you peace too.” Walk us through, how did the quote develop into such an emotional fic? Did you start off with wanting to write from the dialogue prompt or did you want a kaisoo version of the jongkey fic?
It honestly came to me at random while I was scrolling through my phone. I just thought of the sentence randomly and imagined Kyungsoo saying it, then I was like “Huh,” and started snowballing the idea of amnesia and the accident trope. It was only after I sat down and laid out the details, noting down the timelines and who was working as what and where it happened, it became like a solid plot. And I didn’t finish writing it in one sitting, it was sitting in my drafts for months, because I mainly wrote the plot whenever I’m feeling emotional and wanted to write down the continuation.
And with that visualisation, the theatre you had in your head, what is your favourite scene? A scene that so beautifully captures the essence of the fic, a scene that you think about when you think back into this fic?
The part where Kyungsoo’s memory was pieced back together. I wanted to write how the typical person experiences amnesia but studying Kyungsoo’s personality (on screen that is) definitely helps how I write him.
I see… so that part with the sudden surge of memories flooded Kyungsoo’s mind when kaisoo were packing for their camping trip.
For that moment, which aspect of Kyungsoo’s on screen personality did you pay most attention to?
The accepting part, blushy when it comes to Jongin.
The moment I can vividly see Kyungsoo’s on screen personality is where Kyungsoo still feels that Jongin is some sort of crush he has because his soft gaze at him made all sorts of goo inside Kyungsoo. I can imagine Kyungsoo giggling with his full cheekies and his lovely heart shaped smile.
What was the most challenging part of writing this particular au?
The ending. I’m not very good at tying up a storyline and most of my ideas for fics are focused on the main plot, instead of the happy-ever ending, so the little sentimental ending was a last-minute decision.
I understand. Well, the bulk of the fics are the main story plot. But you tied it up very nicely, well, for me at least, because I don’t feel deprived of a better or what-if’s ending? I think you did do a good job in the tying it up with that very tender conversation about their future for however long that maybe and that last bit before the letter to Jongin, where and i quote because it’s such a delightful way to end:
Just like the dream he had when he first fell in love with Jongin, how much he wanted the reality of them being married and together.
And if he’s lucky enough to be living in this dream that he had imagined years ago, it wouldn’t hurt for him to dream a bit more for them.
Haqi, this moment is so sweet… So don’t worry, I do believe you did an excellent job in typing it all up.
Now before we end, haqiyin, could you read an extract from the fic that has a special sentiment for you. A moment where you came to realise that this fic has a special place in your writer’s journey and a scene you are confident readers will be able to think about regularly.
“How much?” Jongin asks, his voice barely a whisper.
There was a soft gaze that Kyungsoo gave him, tender eyes looking at him as if he hung on the moon.
“Enough to know why I love you.”
Jongin let out a shaky breath, forehead pressed against the cold pajamas that Kyungsoo’s wearing. He couldn’t tell if Jongin’s laughter was due to happiness or disbelief, or both.
Soon enough, laughter turns into soft sobs. Alarmed, Kyungsoo placed his mug on the floor immediately and caressed his husband’s back, running his hand gently as he rubbed them in a circular motion. Kyungsoo bends down to rest his cheek against his crown, muttering gentle words of comfort as the man sobbed against his legs.
Thank you for that. Nothing beats having the author reading from their own works.
Haqi, as usual, do you have any ending comments you want to share with us listeners?
I hope you enjoy reading this fic or any other fic of mine. It’s an honour to write at least one fiction of my favourite pairing and leave a memorable mark within the community. Thank you for reading!
Aw, indeed, we do enjoy your work. Haqi, it is you we should thank. For writing, for drawing, for having your ideas come alive and we see kaisoo through another’s eye. Kaisoo’s love prevails all things.
Haqiyin, it has been a joy sharing this episode with you, a returning guest of this kaisoo fic podcast.
Today’s sound bites are from Kyungsoo’s latest album, also titled the same as the fic of the day - my dear. The song choice for this episode, I think, is very appropriate. Just an aside, this is related to ‘my dear’ by Kyungsoo but ok anyway in the kaisooist’s discord server we have bimonthly assignment presentations. The point I made during the presentation where we were analysing how kaisoo reaches out to each other via their discography, i talked about this particular song. In my head, Kyungsoo’s ‘my dear’ is about a wedding vow one makes on one of the most defining milestones of a couple. The simplicity of the song allows you to focus on just his voice (or in Jongin’s case, the lyrics/words/ Kyungsoo’s promise to him).
Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 and twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode. New episodes either every 13th of the month, in commemoration of kaisoo day in january, or 12th and 14th of the month. With that, next month’s episode will not be with an author, but it will be with another kaisooist! Jie is part of the kaisooist’s discord server. When first starting out the server i was happily surprised to find other keen kaisooists tuning into the server. So to commemorate having 100+ users in the discord, i asked kaisooists in the server to submit a comment of about 200 words on what their favourite fic is and why. Jie eagerly answered Pride by yeolimerent, and so that is the fic we will be going through for next month.
To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today’s episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio, and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoo world..
Just a brief rundown of what will happen in this episode. This episode is a two part episode. First part was posted two days ago on the 12th, the second part is today, the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!
Previously, the first part we discussed haqiyin’s defining fics, fics she finds she has a unique attachment to, and we learnt a bit more on who haqiyin is as a writer and artist. Today, on the 14th we will be looking at the three ‘i’s.
Diving into the three ‘i’s are Inspiration, Influence and Impact. Author’s inspiration for ideas, having others as influence for their direction and the author’s impact on the kaisoo fic community.
Inspiration
Let’s just jump right into it. This segment is the first of the three ‘i’s. The three ‘i’s are Inspiration, Influence and Impact. This segment we are looking at haqiyin’s inspiration for ideas.
It is a long question so i’ll split it into drawing and writing.
From your visual eye, what comes first for inspiration? How do you choose the image you have in your mind?
In all honesty, I draw whenever I feel like it. I already do designing in my day to day job so I don’t feel like drawing all the time. My creativity juice flows only when I feel like it. For inspiration, I pick and choose what kind of pictures or concept I like, for example; the trending ass in the window one, it was a spur of the moment, I whipped out my iPad and drew it in under an hour. Same goes for other fanarts I did.
I would see a picture or reference and I go “Oh Kaisoo would fit in this” and save it to draw. If I like the reference enough and have the energy, I’ll draw immediately and post it. But there are other fanarts that I took my time with, such as The Eve Kaisoo and NSFW fanarts of course.
I see, so for drawing, inspiration comes when it comes.
Now from your literary eye for inspiration for your fics. Do you see the kaisoo scene first? Or you hear a dialogue? Or do you see a scene and think oh wow it reminds me of kaisoo, and from there how do the pieces come together? Is it from small ideas first that slowly builds or a big overarching idea first then the task to sieve out the small details?
Inspiration for fics usually comes from dialogues for me. I would think of a dialogue or a line that I’d imagine one of them would say and go from there. For example, the fic ‘My Dear’ comes from the line I imagined Kyungsoo solemnly saying “My peace is you forever, and I hope I am your peace too.” then I construct the plot from that. Sometimes I mix and match from the notes/ideas that I’ve written down, like certain dialogues would fit with another plot I had an idea for, so I would combine and just write it like that.
I don’t prefer to write a generic idea first because I focus on details too much. So I struggle a little when I am following a prompt like kinktober or ficfest, because I get the idea to write about ‘ABO’ for example, but then what is the ABO even about? What is the detail? I would struggle a bit more if I don’t have details as foundation for the fic.
I imagined the generic idea is like a house without support. I need the pillars and foundation (details/tidbits of scene) to support the house and build it from the ground up.
Wow, building from the ground up… i never thought of it in that manner. Details, characteristics and quotes are the foundation of a good fic. And again, you have a catalogue of everything, very admirable. You don’t lose sight of things.
And i love that quote you use to define your ‘my dear’ fic. It’s really… “My peace is you forever, and I hope I am your peace too.” And I guess for listeners who have yet to read haqiyin’s ‘my dear’ fic, it would really rouse curiosity within them to want to read the fic. Listeners, if you have yet to read the fic… all i can say that you have one month to read it before we get to looking into the fic proper as that is what the next month’s episode will be for hehehe, i’m so excited.
This is it for the inspiration segment.
Influence
Now, the next segment is the second of the three ‘i’s. We have Inspiration, Influence and Impact. This segment we are looking at those who influence haqiyin’s direction.
Haqiyin, who are your three most influential figures? In terms of fic writers who you look up to or fan artists you would like to learn from?
Influential figures in the sense of writings and world-building, I’d say Darren Shan the author of the published saga of Cirque Du Freak.
As for AO3 writers, I’d say AceBaseFaceSpace and Indigomini in terms of smut, characters chemistry and creativity.
Woah, you must really enjoy fantasy and supernatural elements… Darren Shan’s saga is vampire au and of course AceBaseFaceSpace also has a lot of that and fantasy aus, one of them being orc Kyungsoo and elf Jongin. And of course, Indigomini is a classic writer! She really has good smut writing, I mean she has smut fics, on top of pwp.
But okay, pause a second - haqiyin, have you read indigomini’s ‘Hi, Water You Doing?’
I just want to give a shoutout to that fic because it is a short and memorable read. This fic literally made me laugh out loud while I was laying down on my bed. I think indigomini has that charm. It is so funny… and interestingly enough, it is actually a pwp.
If you, dear listener, have about 5 minutes to read this hilarious 2k word fic, please do so. To put it frankly, the build up to the penetration is not very arousing, so it is not really wank worthy, but as i mentioned earlier indigomini has smut fics for us to yknow, have fun with. But do check out ‘Hi, Water You Doing?’, trust me, you’ll also laugh out loud.
And with that we have come to the end of the second ‘i’ segment, Influence.
Impact
Now, the next segment is the last of the three ‘i’s. We have Inspiration, Influence and Impact. This segment we are looking at is the author’s impact on the kaisoo fic community.
Haqiyin, what has been your favourite AU to write, and why?
ABO AU is my go-to, and fluff of course! And I notice X-EXO is a great AU to explore too. As for why ABO and X-EXO Au… I’ll just say that the possibilities are endless with those AUs. It’s flexible, it has its own rules of course but overall, you can bend and do whatever plot line you want with it.
I agree that it has its own rules where you can bend and do almost everything with it. The fic that comes to mind right now is your ‘perfect fit’ where we have half wolf Kyungsoo getting down with wolf Jongin. And with the added second gender, you can really explore a lot of world building elements. Like societal hierarchies and of course relationship dynamics. And it also depends on the author how deep they want to get into the technicalities and the dynamics of it all.
Second question for the author’s impact on the community segment is: What kind of writer do you consider yourself as? For example, what is the one thing you hold dear to when writing? Or what is something you would never write?
I would consider myself as a smut-writer because I tend to focus on sex tropes or aus and kinks. Though I’m slowly writing more and more heavy plots, the smut part would never be abandoned.
What I hold dear to when I’m writing is the emotion of the character I’m writing for. For example, KaiSoo is derived from Jongin and Kyungsoo, which are real people out there, so depending on the plot I’m writing for, I try to mix in my perception of what they would feel and say and act. I would say that I’m excellent in reading body language and mannerisms but I am just human, I cannot read minds or feelings. So as far as how I’m writing them, it is just from my observation and perception of them, never the real them.
Something that I would never write is probably cheating or infidelity. Personally speaking, I am very possessive and jealous, and cheating on a partner to me is betrayal that one cannot be forgiven. The trope upsets me so I tend to avoid the tags and plot revolving around it. Even if it’s Kaisoo that cheats on their partner to be with each other, I still don’t like it because it’s unfair to those who were cheated on.
I definitely agree, cheating is the biggest thing I cannot stomach. And the point you hold dear to when writing… As you write, the emotions are derived from actual people. And it being fanfiction, it is about two people or more where readers are able to see a glimpse of how their favourite people are like in an alternate universe, yet keeping the essence of who they are each time we explore a different side. And as you said, it is never the real them, and we will never know the real them, so it is in this manner that fanfic is fun. We are able to insert our fantasies on who they may be, depending on the different sides of them that authors selectively choose for the different universes.
And upon identifying the things you would like to continue to do, and the things you will never do as a writer, what’s the biggest thing you learnt while writing fics? Anything surprising or impactful or moving? Be it about the storytelling, the language used or the life lessons?
Biggest thing I had learned was constructing my own style of writing. Since English is not my first language, I had to develop a certain style of writing to help me write smoothly and such.
And when I’m developing such skills, I can’t help but notice the way I speak and think are incorporated within my writing. It’s difficult to explain but whenever I read my own stuff I can’t help but notice how much it sounds like me. It’s like a signature.
When I try to compare the style of writing with others, it all blurs in comparison. I cannot distinctly remember others’ style of writing but I know what mine looks like.
That sounds quite satisfying actually. Where a writer is able to literally leave their mark into the community.
But tapping a bit on the first thing you mentioned for this question, where you talked about constructing your own style. Could you maybe give us a small run through, what does that look like?
Gaps. I love separating sentences so much. Sometimes I would write one liners as if I’m writing down poems or quotes.
A small run through of my writing style would consist of; a rough idea of the AU/plot, a picture/video of reference, a notable or key dialogue in the plot, rough idea of the ending.
Then I’ll start the intro with a short introduction of the situation or circumstances. Sometimes starting with a dialogue, whichever fits the situation.
I’ll write in small portions of a paragraph, mainly 3-4 sentences in one paragraph. Because I don’t want it to be cramped when I’m reading via mobile. I’m particular with how long a paragraph should be when I’m reading it on my phone.
I’ll end the story with a one liner or a short ending sentence.
Wow… actually that is quite evident in your works, I agree. It becomes a very conscious effort to write and that you are very mindful about how you structure your writing… and i think that, as you said earlier, is your signature.
And with all the things you have learnt, haqiyin, what is your favourite part of being a writer?
Producing plots and lines that I enjoy reading. I write because I wanted it to be specific and catered to my needs. I try not to cringe when rereading my previous works that I don’t feel proud of, but everyone needs to grow and be better in some ways. My bad fics are proof that I sucked a few times and manage to write nice ones later on.
And of course, my reader’s reactions and support! I kept writing and even returned from my hiatus (when I was absorbed with Hogwarts Legacy) because I missed Kaisoo community and the latest update with them.
I have to mention that I am friends and mutuals with a few writers, which is very pleasant and fun because I didn’t create any friends when I was a writer for OnTae fics.
Aw, that’s so sweet. So two reasons why you love being a writer. One, because you are able to make your ideas, imaginations, your preferences come to life. And two, because you have a good community. Supportive readers and passionate writers. The best combination.
With your experience, all 8 years of it, from highschool to your mid 20s, what do you think makes a great story?
Personal outlook on a trope or plot. I’ve read the most extravagant style of writing with a boring plot and the most precious plot and world-building but unorganised writing, be it grammar, spellings, way of speaking and even the format of dialogues.
A great story is not a measurement of how many words you wrote in a single chapter, because I’ve read fantastic smut and plot in a small 3k oneshot, or even less than 1k.
A great story is when an author successfully delivers a beautiful or interesting plot with significance. A great story to me is when I, as a reader, can walk into the author’s head when I’m reading their story.
That’s quite magical. A great story is when an author successfully delivers a beautiful or interesting plot with significance.
As you have identified what makes a great story, is there a must read fic you wanna recommend to listeners? Could be your own fic, or it could be your comfort fic by another author or could be a fic you’re reading now. Anything fic related on your mind!
Snake - Cosmo_WakeUp
It’s a fantastic hybrid fic and I love the creativity of the smut in this
Wrapped in Plastic (It’s Fantastic) - indigomini
Same as before but this one plays with clones, which inspired my fic Wrong Button
Notable authors are Melings, Maokun, K_Borealis (Kaus), AceBaseFaceSpace, Kainnuendo and SooSooDyo
Each author brings something different to the kaisoo literature scene, and we are very grateful for that.
Indigomini’s fic, I can definitely see similarities between Wrapped in Plastic and your Wrong Button. Both happen in a sort of… hotel ish? A hotel, brothel ish kinda vibe where you provide your sexual preference onto a sort of AI bot?
I saw the tags for Cosmo_WakeUp’s fic, Snake… I understand why you say the smut is creative. But looking at the tags again… to me it is a bit… weird, but the premise is definitely interesting. You have the owl hybrid Kyungsoo and snake hybrid Jongin… I’ll read it one day.
Closing Ment
Before we end things, dear haqiyin, do you have any other comments you want to share with us listeners? Any teasers for ongoing AUs or a hint of upcoming AUs you have in your work in progress stage?
As of now, I’m drafting another one shot fic similar to My Dear, angst and tragedy-driven, but I’ll not say when that will finish. And I can say for sure that I’ll be joining this year’s Kinktober fest! If there is any other fest, I’ll check em’ out and maybe I’ll join them! We’ll see!
Oh myyy another ‘my dear’ mdm i am so sedated and ready to cry. And with that we will always wait patiently. And we are definitely eager to read your postings for this year’s kinktober fest too.
Haqiyin, i just wanted to thank you, so much for being part of this kaisoo fic podcast. I am just so very grateful that we got to meet like this. You’ve been very enthusiastic, supportive and very accommodating. It has been an honour to share this episode with you.
Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 and twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode. Do keep a lookout for the next episode because we will be going through one of the three significant fics written by haqiyin, titled ‘my dear’. If you have yet to read haqiyin’s classic text, it would be very encouraging of you to do so before we get to next month’s episode. New episodes every 13th of the month, in commemoration of kaisoo day in january.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio, and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoo world. Where we have authors on the show to give them a platform to talk about their writings and journey as an author in the fandom.
Dear kaisoo listener, do get ready for a ride because it’s a special episode with a long qna with our author of the day. Just a brief rundown of what will happen in this episode. This episode is a two part episode. First part is today, dated the 12th, second part will be on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!
Today on the 12th is the first part where we will discuss the defining fics from the author of the day, followed by questions to get to know the author a bit more in terms of her writer’s journey. The second part, on the 14th we will be going through the three ‘i’s. What are the 3 ‘i’s? The 3 ‘i’s are Inspiration, Influence and Impact. Author’s inspiration for ideas, having others as influence for their direction and the author’s impact on the kaisoo fic community.
If you, dear listener, have been up to date with the podcast episodes, you will find that there will be similar questions to other author’s sessions. Each author brings in their own different perspectives and experiences. By asking similar questions, we get to see how diverse yet united kaisoo fic writers are.
Joining me to do all that is author and artist haqiyin.
Haqiyin has been in this fandom since 2013 Growl era, that’s about 11 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was Chanyeol & Chen in EXO Showtime when she was 14 and in Secondary School. Haqiyin is currently into kaisoo and Hogwarts Legacy, the video game. Started writing kaisoo in April 2022 after reading kaisoo fanfics and sns aus on twitter earlier that year. Her works on ao3 amount to 39 fics and counting, and 29 for EXO.
Defining Fic
Hello there haqiyin!
Could you maybe start us off, what is that one or two fics that are completely yours and something that holds great significance to you?
My Dear is a classic of mine that I loved writing. So is Noise, which is where I pour all of my Kaisoo fantasies into it. What makes it lovable for me is that it’s a Female pairing! And another one is Swap because I’ve been told by a few of my readers that fic was what defined me as one of the new Kaisoo smut-writers at the time.
I see, so ‘my dear’ is a classic of yours, ‘noise’ is something that you could dive into your fantasies and ‘swap’ is an acclaimed fic by your readers.
We’ll have an episode just for ‘my dear’ by itself because I think that fic is very important to you, so we need to give the fic its due recognition. So for this segment for today’s episode, we will look at ‘noise’ and ‘swap’.
So we have two fics, let’s talk about ‘noise’ first.
Could you give us a sense of what ‘noise’ is for those who are not familiar?
Noise is basically a F/F relationship that is based on roommates to lovers, college romance, mixed in with a few kinks and sexual plot such as exhibitionism.
The premise of ‘noise’ is uncommon, but not unheard of. But do share with us how it came about?
I just wanted to write an exhibitionism plot but I was also thinking of a F/F pairing for some reason. It turned out to be a “and they were roommates” plot with a little sprinkle of exhibitionism in it. I wanted it to be a one-shot, smutty and dirty plot but I got caught up with emotions writing about roommates to lovers, thus Noise was created. It was supposed to be dirty like my fic ‘No Reason’, but it wrote it fluffy sweet and spicy romantic instead.
No Reason… yea the biggest part of that fic is the exhibitionism. Actually the thing that No Reason taught me was what exhibitionism is all about? And like being in a relationship where you are free to explore and indulge in your kinks in a safe way, without scarring anyone.
Yea but for noise as well… Kyungsoo did not at all shy away at the exhibitionism part where they were in Jongin’s home.
A question: why do you consider this fic to be one of the two fics you were emotionally attached to?
It was my first time ever writing a F/F pairing. It was experimental to me in the sense that I’m writing about their relationship and how they interact. I loved writing about their emotions because by then I was mostly writing smut and oneshots, with not much depth about relationship development, so it was a first dive for me when I was writing this fic. And also! There’s a lack of Kaisoo F/F fics out there so I thought it’d be good for me to contribute to the community.
Contributing to the community you are indeed! And you did a great job in the dynamics between clingy Jongin and horny Kyungsoo.
And recently in mid March you did a 20 day calendar of fem!kaisoo oneshot series, covering things like tribbing and more. I’m too shy to say aloud, but I thank you for that, one for the girlies I see.
So that was haqiyin’s ‘noise’, one of two of her fics she was emotionally attached to. The other fic ‘my dear’, we will have a special episode for that fic, because I believe it deserves its own episode. So the next fic for this segment will be looking at ‘swap’ an acclaimed fic by your readers. Swap is part of the X-EXO series.
Could you give us a sense of what ‘swap’ is for those who are not familiar?
Swap is basically a smut fic that plays with X-EXO concept, that being X-EXO Kaisoo swapped partner with Earthling Kaisoo, it’s a 3 part oneshot, part 1 is X-EXO Kai with Kyungsoo, part 2 X-EXO D.O with Jongin and lastly part 3 is Kyungsoo and Jongin.
The premise of ‘swap’ is very interesting. It involves clones and that is actually quite genius of you in doing that. Could you give us a bit of background of what inspired you from real life exo to have this x-exo au?
I was obsessed with EXO’s Obsession comeback and album, it was mostly inspired from Kai’s X-EXO photoshoot. I just needed to write one fic with him featured in, and that’s how Swap was created. Photoshoots and concepts really play a big part in my inspiration because I refer to pictures and events and content to be able to write and be inspired.
Like as you mentioned, we do have x-exo that was explored with the obsession promotions back in 2019. And in a way it is canon? The most admirable thing for me here is how you use what you are given as a fan and develop it further in your own craft. Pity we don’t have a proper x-exo version of D.O. but hey at least we have Monster D.O. back in 2016! but wow that was a long time ago… and oh myyy taking about photoshoots and concept pictures… the x-exo posters were definitely intriguing, and it helps us visualise the description of X-KAI and Monster D.O.
How did your creative energy come about to conjure up this AU?
My creative energy when coming up with such AUs mostly comes from my need to read the premise. Like, I really wanted to see a fic that holds this X-EXO clones smut with humans Kaisoo and I have searched a few, I can’t remember if I ever found one but I decided to write one instead, because I wanted a specific scene/outcome from that AU.
And what were those specific scenes?
Guilty pleasure / forbidden lust towards another version of their partner.
“I bet Jongin was gentle with you, huh? Never felt such roughness like this.”
“You’re begging? That’s a first.”
“My mate never begs first. I always have to make him beg.”
You decided to write forbidden lust towards another version of their partner because you wanted to see a specific scene/outcome from this clones AU. That is quite motivational. How you saw a gap in the kaisoo literature and you took that opportunity to write what you wanted to see. And it’s been received very well by readers!
I’m curious as to what about this fic stands out to you?
Personally, speaking as a smut writer, it’s the sex part of course. So I was mainly motivated to write how X-EXO Kai would talk to human Kyungsoo in comparison to how human Jongin would.
X-EXO Kai is quite rough with human Kyungsoo. And for those who enjoy reading mild BDSM would enjoy this and others fics of yours for example No Reason or Leash even.
Readers who have read both ‘noise’ and ‘swap’ will find that you, haqiyin, really have a knack for fresh perspectives. Just by looking at the premise, it is definitely very eye catching because we get to explore kaisoo through a different lens. With ‘noise’ we have fem!kaisoo, so kaisoo as females. And then we have ‘swap’, where we explore kaisoo with their clones.
We have reached the end of our very first segment for this very long episode.
Getting to know Haqiyin
The second segment we have today is getting to know the author of the day.
Now, haqiyin, I’ve always been so curious about this: on twitter, we all know you as a writer. But what do you tell the people who know you in real life? Do you tell them that you are a writer? How supportive are they and do you ever feel like you have to hide or be sneaky about it, especially if you are already in the zone of writing?
Oh I don’t tell anyone anything in my personal life. They do know I draw and sketch as a side hobby/income and work as a designer at a company, they know I am very fluent in English because I read novels and books (Harry Potter, Vampire books) and they are very well aware that I am good with writing (thesis, reports, documentations) but they don’t know that I write fanfictions.
I don’t want them to know actually because I’m very private, I don’t talk about my skills to them, I show them. Those with sharp eyes may connect the dots and see how I can be a fanfic writer but so far no one has said anything to me. I like to have my writing and fandom community to be separate from my real life/community, because I want to have options that I can escape to.
That is a very modest and admirable way of doing things. You don’t talk about your skills, you show them.
So a designer at a company, I see. So you’re more on the visual arts scene then?
My background is very artsy. I draw, sketch, paint, write, and design. I am very much a creative person in real life.
How young were you when you realised you liked to surround yourself with visual creativity?
Very young! Since I was in kindergarten I suppose. I would always doodle whenever I could and I remember bringing pencils and papers everywhere with me. My parents told me it’s a family trait, because I have two aunts and uncles on each side of the family that are known to draw and paint. Even my oldest brother is good at drawing, but he didn’t have passion for it so he didn’t pursue it.
Aw, i can imagine a small little haqiyin bringing around here pencils and papers around to functions and finding a small little corner to do her drawings. So cute!
I note that at a young age is when everyone starts, but it is just a matter of if that hobby sticks with you long enough, and if you dive deep into it to hone your craft in the way where you carefully develop it over a long period of time.
How does engaging in drawing and writing complement each other?
It goes hand in hand to me, I have liked drawing since I was a child and reading fantasy Vampire novels certainly helped my desire to write. I’ve always been good at drawing in real life and people know that of me, but I wanted to show my writing skills as well. But I can’t show my fanfic writings to people that know me, I’ll die hahaha, so I turn to the KPOP community to gain support and show my skills in writing.
Haha, of course, I understand. It’s like a dirty little secret. Your writings and some of your drawings are not meant for everyone. Those who engage in fanfiction in any way, be it reading or writing or beta-ing or even for me, podcasting, from the nature of it, not everyone should know about it.
The thing is that it is a very niche community. Not everyone can resonate with the KPOP sentiment. And even more so the EXO-L fanbase, there is EXO-L vs other group fanbases and EXO-L vs EXO-L. So that by itself is very polarising. And to go even further, as we all here for, ladies and gays, is the shipping. Some people push for it, some people are really adverse to it. And even with shipping there are different relationships people like to play with. So with each element of the general entertainment you consume, the community actually gets smaller.
Are there some other communities that you engage in? You mentioned Hogwarts Legacy Video Game, how is the community there like?
There’s a lot, but I’m only a writer for Kaisoo (EXO), Ontae (SHINee) and Sebinis (Hogwarts Legacy), the rest is either I’m just a casual fanartist or a fanfic reader. Fandoms I’ve been in were Drarry (HP), Evak (SKAM), Reddie (IT), HaoGu (MOCD) Taiwanese BL, Wilmon (Young Royals) and DeanPharm (UWMA) Thai BL. I’ve drawn quite a lot on my instagram @ taeeeman, you can check all the pairings I’ve drawn there.
Hogwarts Legacy Video Game was a fixation that completely blew me away because I didn’t expect to love the game so much and even the characters, and the community there is hella talented, so many great fanartists, god-like even, pasta-sensei i love you. Anyways, the community is warm and I enjoy the fandom and the game with my IRL friends. I’m inactive now over there and even have a fic of Sebinis that I didn’t finish, but I’m sure I’ll get back into them once Avalanche makes the exclusive horror quest available on all devices.
Aww, so sweet that you are able to enjoy something different, and with your real life friends as well!
But maybe let me rephrase my previous question a bit? I’m trying to see how drawing and writing work together. For instance you spend more of your work life being visually creative, how does that help or guide your writing in any way? Or how does writing help you to be visually creative? How does that relationship work?
In terms of looking for ideas, I’d say it works for both. When I see something I like online and read a little about it, I would either find a way to draw it or write about it. It entirely depends on the content and what it is for me to feel strongly to write it or draw it. Both have a hand in helping me in some ways but I’d say I’m more to visualising something in my head before going forth with creating anything. But it is intertwined in some ways, I can’t explain it perfectly haha.
But okay, let’s go back to the questions! We were talking about how haqiyin shows her skills, how she finds drawing and writing complementing each other.
My next question is: How long have you been writing? Have you always been writing and how did you come out of the hiccups along the way?
Actually I’ve been writing since I was senior in high school, so like 2016? I wrote for a SHINee pairing, Onew and Taemin. At the time I was very much into JongKey and OnTae, so I tried writing about OnTae. I posted on AsianFanFiction, and it didn’t go well. I then created a new identity (@taeeeman) on that site, and started posting regularly starting 2019 I think. I had a good following and readers from SHINee and OnTae fans, they were super supportive. I made so many memories at the time interacting with them.
When the pandemic hit, I went into a depressive state, I said my goodbyes and deleted my fics on AFF. I wasn’t really thinking back then, it was the pandemic. Unfortunately I didn’t save my fics and it is all gone now, I tried looking for it in my files and stuff but I really deleted all of it.
At the end of 2021 I wanted to bounce back as a writer, but I felt guilty for abandoning OnTae ship. So I turned to EXO, which is another group beside SHINee that I loved since school days. Kaisoo had always been a thing since I read OnTae, JongKeys and ChanBaek fics, so I decided to give their fics a go. I binged and read their fics on AO3 and was hooked from then on.
Oh myyy, and we mourn for the loss of taeeeman’s fics. The pandemic was really a bad time for everyone huh… but WOW, writing since high school, 2016… 8 years of writing… and writing during your adolescence… writing must have been very cathartic for you. Seeing how you engaged in it from your teens to your early/mid 20s.
As someone who has written for ontae, do you see any similarities in them with kaisoo in terms of your own plot and style?
I’ve written for Ontae similarly in the beginning like my earlier Kaisoo fics. ‘Our Dandelion’ is my first ever Kaisoo fic that I’ve written and I can say the style and pacing is similar to what I’ve written for Ontae before.
I’ve written a lot for Ontae previously and honestly, most of them are smut. Just like Kaisoo, but I can say for sure that the style is different because I’ve changed the way I write after certain changes and maturity (going from diploma to degree) and even the topics or plot are different. For example, I didn’t write much of a dramatic plot or gut-wrenching scenes for Kaisoo but I’ve written those for Ontae.
Of course, with your years of experience, you are bound to always be improving.
How much have you grown since writing on AFF to ao3?
I would say there’s a difference to my writing style in AFF to AO3, mainly because of the audience and how receptive the readers are on each platform. In AFF I’d say that I write because I love the reader’s reaction and are more catered to their requests, etc. But on AO3, I mostly write on stuff that I like and want to read. I am more structured and organised when I’m on AO3, because it’s easy with the taggings and such. I entertain requests and prompts on a few occasions and most of them are written for a fic fest or oneshot compilation. I’m more mature in terms of plot-writing on AO3 too, I join writing fest and challenges, engage with the community. I can’t say the same when I was on AFF.
With all those years, how do you balance between having a social life, a busy work schedule and still being able to make time to research and write captivating stories? Still able to make time to sketch and draw beautiful compositions of kaisoo. What keeps you going as a writer and an artist? I mean everyone is given 24 hours a day, so how do you delegate time for research and writing and drawing amidst everything else?
It’s a bit different then and now. I was a full-time student from 2017 until 2022, so I had ample time to write and explore ideas with writings and engage within the fandom. I read and enjoyed Kaisoo contents more leisurely when I was a student. My schedule would be very flexible and I’ll write and post whenever I feel like it and when the passion for writing comes.
In 2023 I started my internship and then developed into a full-time employee, so I had less time than usual to write and engage with fandoms. I continue to write even with my limited time as a working adult because I simply liked writing it.
How I divide my time now is; I’d find inspiration/au from observing social media (tiktok/twitter/ig) during the day, writing it on my notes app and at night when I usually write. On weekdays, I’ll write before 12-1am. On weekends, I’ll write until I finish.
As for drawing, I don’t take much time doing it so I’ll usually draw whenever I have the time and post it immediately afterwards.
That’s very diligent of you, identifying what you want to see in your work, then taking notes, then parking it. Then when you have the time you use that time to write and draw. Like you have a whole catalogue of ideas. You must really like what you do, because that whole process really shows that you take pride and ownership of your work. I’d imagine in doing all these, it boosts your self confidence because you are able to explore a lot of things and refine your skills at both writing and drawing.
We have come to the end of ‘getting to know’ haqiyin a bit more. We see that haqiyin is a private person, who has been writing and drawing for a very long time and happily finds that drawing and writing comes hand in hand, complementing each other. Haqiyin diligently takes notes before writing or drawing out her ideas.
So this is the end of the first of two part episode. Second part will be uploaded on the 14th!
I am Alexio Sospranio, and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
Just a brief rundown of what will happen in this episode. This episode is a two part episode. First part was posted two days ago on the 12th, the second part is today, the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!
Previously, the first part we discussed Inarichi’s Susceptible to You, followed by questions regarding the fic. Today, on the 14th will be slightly more personal questions to get to know the author a bit more.
Let’s just jump right into it. First question for the second half of the episode is: on twitter, we all know you as a writer. But what do you tell the people who know you in real life? Do you tell them that you are a writer? How supportive are they and do you ever feel like you have to hide or be sneaky about it, especially if you are already in the zone of writing?
Such a great question! And I do tell people in real life that I’m a writer and when they inevitably ask the question of what I write about, I’m always ready to tell them fanfiction, but I’m working on original novels and children’s books as well. So I throw in the fanfics but a lot of people tend to linger on novels and children’s books. And I’ll take them on a journey for my ideas about them and what I plan to do. So they forget about the fanfic part. LOL. But I do have a handful of cousins around my age who actually read my fanfics and one of them, Macks, (Love her to death) has been editing my works since 2015. She is my main editor and has been a phenomenal supporter of my writing journey, even today. I wouldn’t be here without her.
Ooh, interesting! Dear Macks, if you’re listening, thank you for having faith in Inari and editing her works. We readers are so blessed with being able to experience kaisoo’s love through Inari’s eyes, in this particular fic of the day, bad boy Kyungsoo and prim & proper Professor Kim in her ‘Susceptible to You’.
It’s very refreshing that you are more or less transparent and tell people about what you do, because the thing here is… sometimes people can get really turned off when someone mentions fanfics. I mean you yourself experience it when you tell them about fic writing then they tend to linger on novels and children’s books instead. With that said, how different is it, writing for novels and children’s books as compared to fanfics?
Oh the process is quite different but similar as well. I think for books the editing and diction tends to be different. As far as fanfics, I like to keep them conversational. So it feels like I’m talking to my reader. I’m actively trying to write how I talk but also hold true to literary techniques that can strengthen my writing and make it flow better. Whereas a novel, I may have to be a bit more sophisticated in my diction. Plan heavier, and edit like a madwoman. I tend to be a little lazy with fanfics, because it’s fun so I try to be more lenient and not too hard on myself, though I’m ALWAYS hard on myself. Lol. Children’s books are a bit different. But building a story is the same. Having all the elements for a good story mapped out so that it flows well is a need. But the style here changes. Your sentences must be clear, easier to understand. And the message/moral of the books needs to be clear in the examples shown throughout the story. There’s no room for subtext, subtlety, heavy metaphors, similes, motifs. It has to be overall simpler but no less impactful. And that’s difficult to accomplish. It really tests your ability as a storyteller to strip down a story to the bare bones of it and tell it to a 5 year old who might not have the know-how or knowledge to understand the morals of the story you want to teach a lesson to. You want them to learn something by the end of the story. And with this aspect, I think all stories have this in common. Whether it’s YA, adult fiction, children’s books, any story, there is always a theme or moral that the reader should learn by the end. And in order to do that, you have to tell a story, complex or simple, that readers will be able to understand and see themselves reflected in. Relatable. As relatable as you can. And always have personnel stakes. If the reader can see themselves in the character, then we’ve accomplished our goal.
I definitely agree. The fics that i’ve read, the most impactful ones are the ones that teaches you things about life. But I really like when you say fanfics should sound like the way you talk. To have your own voice in your writings and make it more informal as compared to when you have to write for YA or children. Fanfics is something for people, authors and readers alike, to dive into our fantasies and revel in the whole experience of different universes, relationship dynamics, tropes and kinks without judgment. As you mention keeping your story relatable and for readers to see themselves reflected in the story. Even in Susceptible to You in the episode before this we talked about having wants and needs, and how that makes the characters relatable.
And with everything you’ve done, children’s books, novels and of course fanfiction, in total, how long have you been writing? Have you always been writing and how do you come out of the hiccups along the way?
I started writing in 2015 when I got into EXO. I was pretty prolific and steady until the middle of 2016. Then, I started taking A LOT of hiatuses. I took a 3 year hiatus in 2018-2021, writing once or twice. And then I came back in 2021 but there are still a lot of hiccups. 2022 was better, and 2023 was okay. I wrote maybe 8 works or so. Not much and I was also taking a lot of breaks due to traveling and concerts. I’m writing more now but for SKZ. I’m trying to remain consistent since it’s going pretty well. But life continues to get in the way as always. It’s not having the time for it that really sets me back, but I do still enjoy it when I can write and not wallowing in how my writing comes out. lol. I’m working on confidence as well.
I believe hiccups along the way are completely natural and essential for growth. To fill your cup with ideas, one must have an empty one. Besides, creativity takes time.
With all those years, how do you balance between having a social life, a busy work schedule and still being able to make time to research and write captivating stories? I mean everyone is given 24 hours a day, so how do you delegate time for research and writing amidst everything else?
It’s difficult. I won’t say I’m a master at it cause I’m not. I try to write everyday but tbh, I’ll go weeks or months without writing because life is so busy. I don’t balance anything. I write when I can, and that’s when I try to allow myself room to get everything written. I have short bursts of writing sessions where I can write for 2-3 days and get a lot done. But there are long droughts after. My ideal balance would be to write at least for an hour a day and be consistent. But it simply doesn’t happen, sadly.
Ideal balance, thank you for saying that because it brings me to the next point: As with life, balance is occasionally hard to juggle with the different parts of the life we live and we need motivation for us to do things… So Inari, What keeps you going as a writer?
Amazing question and took me days to think about. And if I’m being honest with you Alexio, I’m not entirely sure.
What transitionend you from a reader to an author? Was there a gap you wanted to bridge or a particular point of narrative you wanted to see but couldn’t?
Great question! To be honest, it was a friend back then who I used to brainstorm ideas with and I told her I wanted to try writing. She fully supported me and would egg me on and convinced me to try. I simply wanted others to see what I see, to feel how I felt when I saw a scene that unfolded inside my mind. I wanted others to share in this experience and these emotions. I had read so many stories by then and I wanted to try my hand at writing too, at telling my own story. The reason never stemmed from other works or narratives, I feel like there was something out there for everyone. But I wanted to show others my ideas in the form of a story, and bring my ideas into existence. And well… here I still am. lol
Writing your ideas into existence you are indeed! And you certainly have the talent for it as well.
I received a question from my CuriousCat by one of your readers, it reads: what gives you the most inspiration for writing?
Music! I’m a big music person and I have to listen to music as I write and read. But I draw inspiration from everything. It can be movies, books, walking, talking, people, cars, moments, parties, family reunions, trips to walmart. No, seriously anything. But if I had to pick one thing that inspires me the most, it’s music. Music evokes certain emotions through the use of instruments and melodies, rhythms, lyrics. I love it all. And most of the time, I listen to classical music or epic core which uses classical instruments with rock elements. I love guitars and any string instrument. But when listening to epic core/ trailer music, they use certain instruments and chord progressions to evoke certain emotions, whether it’s hopeful, sad, anger, despair, or happiness. You can grasp a lot by listening to what the song is trying to tell you, listening closely to what the instruments are doing in the foreground and background. The beat of drums can mean so many things depending on the rate in which they drum. There’s so much about music that inspires me. Once I hear a song and a film plays in my head, then that song did a wonderful job evoking emotions and the right emotions. I can see a scene for my story clearly, depending on what the song is doing and what the scenario is about. It’s a lot of fun actually. I can listen to something and see a world coalesce around me. I love it. It’s like living in a constant motion picture when I listen to music.
Wow, I absolutely did not expect that! I think it’s quite beautiful actually to draw inspiration from music…You worded it very nicely actually. Music evokes certain emotions from us and it is unique that you are able to visualize like a constant motion picture when I listen to music.
What kind of writer do you consider yourself as? For example, what is the one thing you hold dear to when writing? Or what is something you would never write?
If you’d asked me this question when I began writing, I would have said a smut writer. If you asked me later, I would have said a sci-fi writer. In all honesty, I’m a writer who loves to write everything and anything I can think of. I can read anything and love the journey that a story unravels. If it’s interesting, I will be more than happy to indulge, and that reflects in my writing. I want to try so many aus, I want to tell numerous journeys from different time periods, different worlds, characters, perspectives. I am a writer who looks at fiction as a limitless place, willing to take us anywhere, the possibilities are so vast that it can seem overwhelming. I’m a writer that often looks inside myself to find the emotions for my characters. I am a writer who uses the things that have shaped me as an individual and reflect that in my writing, using my creativity born of experiences and failures. Someone once told me that my writing style lies within short, concise sentences but thorough details and emotions and I agreed at one point. This could have changed over the years but I believe that I still hold true to a part of that. I consider myself a writer when I sit down and write and only then. When I’m not writing, I don’t consider myself a writer. But when I do, then I am. It’s nothing complex, just a writer. I am simply having fun and trying to escape like everyone else. So in the end, I am a writer who writes fiction novels and tries to bring joy, sadness, contentment and love to my readers. I hope I can continue doing so in the future.
And I think by doing so you will. You do conjure emotions within the reader and I believe you will continue to do so. And wow, the journey that you have had… the years you’ve had since 2015 when you first started writing… you started off as a smut writer, then dived into the sci-fi world which from there you developed into a writer who writes everything and anything. You’re gaining mastery over what you are talented and meant to do and that is indeed very admirable.
A message from my CuriousCat reads: Inari is one of my favorite fic writers and I love the way she writes. So, Inari, what is your favorite genre to write? We’ve seen a lot of different prompts for different genres but do you have a favorite that you always go back to?
Oh awesome question! Smut and angst are my favorite genres, along with sci-fi and fantasy. Most of my stories tend to be slice-of-life, simply because they’re shorter works and it’s easier to draw from but I love fantasy and sci-fi. I haven’t written much of either and would love to experiment with them in the future. They’re tough, but I’m more than willing to put the work in. So I tend to write more smut than anything because I genuinely enjoy it. And angst because we love when characters suffer. Lol. As long as we heal them by the end right? But I actually love tragedies and when characters have no redemption arc. Really breaks through the mold and gives us something different. But I love all genres and have written just about them all, and their subgenres. But I need to write more fantasy and sci-fi for sure.
Dear anon, I hope that answers your question to what Inari’s favorite genre that she always goes back to.
Ending Ments
We have come to the last segment of this author’s session today!
Before final comments, we are ending off the episode by a question from my CuriousCat asking Inari: Do you have a favorite kaisoo fic you’ve written?
Yes! Well, they’re all my babies and I love them very much since I wrote them and they mean something to me. But, if I had to choose, I would have to say that my favorite story is Scire. It has a special place in my heart. It was my first ever sci-fi, thriller and mystery all wrapped up in one and I thought my ideas were really original. I’m thinking of reworking it into an original novel. I’d have to flesh it out more and give it a great rewrite, but I’m willing to do it. I can’t seem to let the premise go.
Oh wow, sci-fi, thriller and mystery all wrapped up in one?! Sounds like there is a lot going on in there. Oh dear i feel bad because those are the genres i dont read at all. It’s amazing that it would be reworked as an original novel!
Any ending comments you would like to make?
Thank you so, so much, love. I am so grateful that you included me in your episode! I am forever flattered, honored and extremely delighted to have such an amazing and thoughtful reader in you. Never in my dreams did I think I’d be here talking about myself as a writer and my first ever chaptered story Susceptible to You. I never knew where that story would take me but here I am. And it’s all thanks to you. I hope you are blessed with prosperity, health, and most abundantly, love. Because you deserve it in spades. With such an enormous heart yourself, I hope that the love and passion you pour into the world, pours back into you. Walk your faith, be strong in your spirit, and thrive in your purpose. Stay lovely, Hun.
And I too am honored to have you with us and I thank you for coming on the show with me, Inari. I am thankful we cross paths on twitter and as listeners we learnt a lot today, about you with your passions in writing not just fanfiction but childrens books and original novels as well, your characters and your craft.
Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 dashboard will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s two part episode.
Do keep a lookout because over the span of the next two months, we will be hosting artist and author haqiyin for two episodes.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
Hello dear kaisoo listener. It’s a special episode because I’m not in my room talking to myself, but rather we have the beautiful opportunity to have with us rainepaige08!
Hello there Raine!
Before we begin, a bit on rainepaige08, Raine has been in this fandom since 2012, that’s about going 12 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was Kai in the Teaser released for EXO, and that happened when she was in college when her roommate introduced her to them. Raine is currently into reading manhwas and watching random live action movies on Netflix. Her works on ao3 amount to 15 fics and counting. Additionally on twitter, she has her SNS AUs as well.
Now because we are very fortunate to have with us rainepaige, we will be doing things slightly differently! I mean we have a guest right here with us, ladies and gays so today will be more questions centric episode. There are three kinds of questions we will be exploring.
First we start with slightly more personal ones, not too personal, not to worry, just questions that are related to you being a writer, your style and your journey!
Second we will explore the CEO au, Familiar Face. That one fic, Raine’s most defining fic. The one that is completely hers and something that is such a big part of her writer’s journey.
And the third and last type of questions for rainepaige08 will be her personal preferences and things fic related she recommends.
Personal Questions
Enough of the introduction, let’s start with the first type of questions: personal questions for a writer.
1.I’ve always been so curious about this: on twitter, we all know you as a writer. But what do you tell the people who know you in real life? Do you tell them that you are a writer? How supportive are they and do you ever feel like you have to hide or be sneaky about it, especially if you are already in the zone of writing?
My family doesn’t know about me being a writer, since they are more of the traditional kind of family. Friends I met through EXO know I am a writer and I usually disclose it once I click with someone, since not everyone is comfortable with it. I met friends who are writers too and also those who like to read so I still have people close to me who know that I am a writer.
2.Interesting, now what is your background? Are you in the literary arts scene or is your background totally something different?
It’s actually very different since I took up accountancy in college and now I am working in Finance. My workmates only know I’m a fan of EXO but they don’t know that I am a writer so writing really has been a refreshing escape from my routinary life.
Wow, it is quite amazing how you are able to balance different parts of the human mind and create beautiful stories. Like in your professional life you mentioned you work in Finance, so i presume you deal with numbers and statistics, but to escape from all that like you just mentioned, you engage in something that taps on the other part of your brain. The right brain, the creative, emotional, and intuitive part of your brain. And i think that is quite beautiful, using what you have been given, to its fullest.
3. And how long have you been tapping on your right brain, how long have you been writing? Have you always been writing and how did you come out of the hiccups along the way?
I started writing in my first year of college on Wattpad. That’s in 2011, so around 13 years ago? But since I made them during college, it is not that good so I don’t tend to share them with others. But my account is still live on Wattpad but the stories are a mix of Filipino and English. That’s also when my identity as Raine Paige started. Raine is a pseudonym I made since I want to separate myself from being a writer and my personal life. I stopped writing and also toned down my fangirling from 2015 to 2019 since I became focused with school and work. Then I created my twitter account in 2019 for EXO and started writing since.
Though there were weeks and even months wherein I haven’t updated my fics since either I’m busy with work or just really don’t feel like writing. It was hard and I also feel bad when I don’t post updates, but at the same time I don’t want to publish a half-baked story. I tend to write prompts or alternate SNS AUs with regular fics so I can get out of my writer’s block but right now I wanted to focus on one story at a time.
4. You mentioned sometimes you would be busy with work and occasionally have writer’s block so my next question is how do you balance between having an active social life, a busy work schedule and still being able to make time to research and write beautiful and captivating stories? Others after an active social and professional life may just want to catch a breather after, by watching silly videos of kaisoo or read fics, but what keeps you going as a writer? I mean everyone is given 24 hours a day, so again my question to you is how do you delegate time for research and writing amidst everything else?
Since I do work in the morning, I mostly write fics in the evening or at midnight. After work, I tend to spend time with my family first or watch movies/series, or read manhwas just to let out the stress from work before I start to write. So my writing hours usually start at 9pm and up to midnight. Sometimes when I’m not busy with work, I tend to research and think of scenes for my stories during break time. During the weekends, I try to squeeze in more time if there are no visitors or events to go to.
That is actually a good balance. Enough to have a hand in your social life and your… hobbies, if i may call it so? Is that what you identify writing in your head as, a hobby? The way you structure your time, it makes it look like writing is not necessarily a priority, but i am not saying that it is of lesser importance. The fact is that every free time you have that is not work or socialising, you use that time to actively engage in things that revolve around your aus. And i think that really defines us as a person. What you do in your free time, shows what we actually like to engage in. Free time that we allocate for ourselves, and how we use that time to do what we like.
5. This is a long question, but: What comes first for inspiration? Do you see the kaisoo image first? Or you hear a dialogue? Or do you see a scene and think oh wow it reminds me of kaisoo, and from there how do the pieces come together?
Is it from small ideas first that slowly builds or a big overarching idea first then the task to sieve out the small details?
For me, usually it starts with a prompt. I imagine a certain scene wherein I feel like Kaisoo would look good in that alternate universe. How it progresses though is different per fic.
For CEO AU and Summer AU - I have a start and ending in mind but I changed a lot of scenes halfway.
For the recent one I wrote for the fest, once I got the prompt I did a research first and did a short summary of events, then I wrote the fic based on the outline.
6. I see, so generally prompt first. With that, what does your writing process look like?
Before when I’m doing twitter fics, I would decide on what the update would be, like how the story would progress in the update, then I write and post simultaneously. Proofreading is very minimal.
SNS AU is quite hard since I need to figure out how to make it interactive, but the writing process is almost the same with twitter fics.
Ao3 fics take the longest time. I usually have the summary per chapter outlined first. Then I speed type the update, then read it multiple times to edit the grammar as English is not my first language. Then I also tend to add more narrations and check the tone of the dialogues per character if it is still aligned with their role. I tend to be more detailed on my Ao3 fics.
I see, so the different modes of writing you have different ways of doing things. That makes sense because each platform for example twitter and ao3 has its readers have different types of mindset. For example for twitter it is usually live updates and you can see the interactions so readers are on the reactive type of mindset and also i mean it is a social media platform so sometimes it may get buried with other posts. And on ao3 somehow, because it is an actual site we go to and we have this whole routine of scrolling the web and seeing other fics and looking at its tags and word count, it becomes like a whole winding down routine where it makes us feel restful and feel happy reading.
7. My next question is what is your favourite part of being a writer?
There are two fave parts for me. First is being able to create full beautiful stories of simple prompts that I just thought of suddenly. I do feel a sense of pride when I finish a fic. Second fave part is the reader’s reaction. Reading their comments really encourages me to write more.
Aw, do you hear that listeners. Always remember to express your love for fics you have read.
This is the end of the first segment, on the personal questions for Raine. We have gone through understanding the author a bit more. A little bit about who she is outside her writer persona and how she structures her time for writing amidst her professional work and social life. How she writes on different platforms (Twitter/ao3) when inspiration comes and we end off this section with her favourite part of being a writer.
Defining Fic
The second segment today we are looking at that one fic, Raine’s most defining fic. The one that is completely hers and something that is such a big part of her writer’s journey. We look at the CEO au, Familiar Face.
8. Dear Raine, could you give us a sense of what the fic is for those who are not familiar?
It’s a story about two people who met unexpectedly, one who tries to forget about his past and one who wants to gain the memories he lost. Jongin is a CEO of a company and Kyungsoo applied as his secretary. In an unusual turn of fate, Kyungsoo looks identical to his late husband. A lot of twists and revelations unravel as the story goes.
9. I’m curious as to what about this fic stands out to you? Why do you identify it as your most defining fic?
First, it was my first kaisoo fic that I have completed so it has a special place in my heart. Second, I think the way I wrote the plot really shows how I challenge myself to write something new and interesting.
10. What is your favourite scene? A scene that so beautifully captures the essence of the fic, a scene that you think about when you think back into this fic?
That part where Jongin found Kyungsoo packing his bag and is about to leave, and Jongin’s diary entries. I always tend to re-read that portion as this is the part I took time to decide if i’ll really go that route to the story. But I still think Kyungsoo’s decision was the best choice since he would forever have doubts if he won’t leave. That he needs to regain all his memories for him to start over. Jongin’s diary entries though are heartbreaking to read.
Oh my i know which part you are talking about. And I do agree with Kyungsoo’s decision to find himself, to relive his lost memories. And it is also a lesson to learn as well, that we need to be grounded in ourselves before we have the capacity to love someone else.
You mentioned the scene where Kyungsoo was about to leave… it would be an absolute honour if you could read an extract from that scene. The part of their parting.
Kyungsoo sat on the floor and held Jongin’s cheeks as he planted a kiss on the man’s forehead. His vision is now clouded with his own tears as he kissed the man’s cheeks before wrapping the man in his arms. Kyungsoo held him silently as he knew no words could heal what he broke.
“I know this is hard, but I do hope you’ll understand someday why I need to do this…“
Jongin pulled away from his hug and Kyungsoo was surprised as the man leaned in and kissed his lips softly. It’s that kind of kiss you’ll remember not because of how it felt; but because of the emotions that come with it.
Jongin kissed him slowly and carefully as if every kiss were unspoken words of love. It’s as if the CEO wanted him to remember everything they have through this kiss. The man pulled away and rested his forehead against Kyungsoo, their lips a few inches apart as Jongin whispered,
"Just promise me one thing…”
Kyungsoo nodded as he waited for Jongin to continue.
"No matter how long it may take you or how far you’ll go to search for yourself. That you’ll still come back to me. You’ll still return to your home.“
Kyungsoo sealed his promise with his lips as they kissed until they bid their farewell. One last kiss until they would be reunited again.
Aw that was wonderful, to have the author herself read from her words. That was just amazing.
I just reread the fic, and my thoughts after was:
It would have been nice to explore Kangwoo and Jongin’s relationship. Especially during the time Kyungsoo took off from Jongin in that one year to regain his memories to learn to love Jongin again. It would have been very interesting to see Kyungsoo’s point of view and to actually see them slowly fall in love.
I thought about that too if I should create more flashbacks of how they fell in love when they were young. Though I decided not to since it would make the fic very lengthy and I want to focus on the Summer AU after that. Maybe in the future, I’ll decide on a side story? Haha
Oh my kaisoo yes please do! Especially as you are transferring your fics to ao3!
This is the end of the second segment, on the defining fic for Raine, we have gone through identifying why the CEO au, Familiar Face is her most defining fic. For it being the first kaisoo fic completed and an AU that was challenging to write something new and interesting.
Personal Preferences
We are back, ladies and gays with the third segment is on her personal preferences and things fic related she recommends.
11. What has been your favourite AU to write, and why?
I tend to write normal human settings like office AUs since it is more relatable and there are many resources or inspiration you can use, but my favourite AUs to write are actually those with a hint of fantasy or royalty AUs. I haven’t written much of those since it is a bit challenging with the world building but my recent AO3 fics are leaning to those (like Of Crowns and Chains and the recent one I wrote for UltTopKJI)
Ooh i see that’s interesting.
12. Having written human setting AUs and venturing into fantasy and royalty AUs, what’s the most surprising thing you learned while writing fics? Be it about the storytelling, the language used or the life lessons?
What I learned recently when I am writing Under Winter Night Skies was it is really more challenging to write fantasy or historically inspired fics as I spent a lot of time researching what clothes they should wear or what items they should use as I wanted it to be convincing. Also the dialogues too are different. There are a lot of things to consider if you want the story to be executed well.
13. What kind of writer do you consider yourself as? For example, what is the one thing you hold dear to when writing? Or what is something you would never write?
I think as a writer I tend to want a slow build up on how Kaisoo’s relationship progresses. I also don’t want to make either of them too much of a “red flag”. I don’t want my stories to cause too much anger to the readers.
14. With your experience, 13 years of writing…what do you think makes a great story?
A great story is a story that the writer has enjoyed creating. For me, writing should bring joy not only to the reader but also the writer.
15. Is there a must read fic you wanna recommend to listeners? Could be your own fic, or it could be your comfort fic by another author or could be a fic you’re reading now. Anything fic related on your mind!
I’ll recommend my own first! If you want to cry, I’ll recommend Summer AU. But if you want a one-sitting story, then my recent fic Under Winter Night Skies is something I’m proud I have written.
For other fics, I actually don’t read much since I have a bad habit of comparing my fic to others. But one of my faves is The Devil Wears Gucci. I also recently read the famous Anterograde Tomorrow and I fell in love with how the narratives were beautifully written. I’m also looking forward to reading maokun’s ongoing fic too! That’s on my checklist.
The Summer AU was actually the first fic I read from you. I still remember it was my first bookmark on my twitter. And I also recently reread The Devil Wears Gucci by jongnugget. But i think im too scared to reread Anterograde Tomorrow. Oh yea and of course maokun! We are all definitely eagerly waiting for maokun’s update!
16. Before we end things, dear Raine, do you have any other comments you want to share with us listeners? Any teasers for ongoing AUs or a hint of upcoming AUs you have in your work in progress stage?
First, thank you for having me here! It’s my first time doing this so I hope I did good. also for the readers, thank you for reading my stories. I am really happy reading the reactions and it motivates me a lot to continue as a writer.
Among my ongoing AUs, Babypeach SNS AU is my next priority to finish. Summer AU would be transferred in AO3 hopefully around September this year. Then I am planning to release a short fic this February 13.
It is also my time doing this, first time having a recorded session with another human being. And wow, for the AUs? That sounds like a great plan! I am so excited for both the Babypeach AU and the Summer AU!
Thank you Raine, so much. Thank you for giving us some insight to an author’s mind, i think we learnt a lot today. Thank you for giving us so much content, and even more content to be showered with that is coming soon. And lastly, thank you Raine, so much for being part of this kaisoo fic podcast.
Closing Ment
Dear listener, the link to the author’s ao3 and twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode. Do keep a lookout for new episodes every 13th of the month.
To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today’s episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to next month’s episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio, and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoo world. Where we have authors on the show to give them a platform to talk about their writings and journey as an author in the fandom.
Just a brief rundown of what will happen in this episode. This episode is a two part episode. First part is today, dated the 12th, second part will be on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!
Today, the first part we will discuss a fic from the author of the day, followed by questions regarding the fic. The second part, on the 14th will be slightly more personal questions to get to know the author a bit more.
If you, dear listener, have been up to date with the podcast episodes, you will find that there will be similar questions to other author’s sessions. Each author brings in their own different perspectives and experiences. By asking similar questions, we get to see how diverse yet united kaisoo fic writers are.
Brief Intro and Technical Aspects of STY
Joining me today is author Inarichi.
Now introducing a bit on InariChi before we talk about the fic of the day:
InariChi’s works on ao3 amount to 51 fics on EXO.
InariChi has been in the fandom since 2015, that’s about 9 years now. When she was drawn to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Became an EXOL when she heard Call Me Baby back in 2015. InariChi is currently into Stray Kids.
Susceptible to You by InariChi, has 19 chapters with a word count of about 51k words.
Set in an alternate universe where kaisoo are in college. Prim and proper professor Jongin is bad boy Kyungsoo’s music theory lecturer. Kaisoo ends up in a little teacher-student relationship. Content warnings include smut (topsoo) while the general tags set by the author includes romance and angst. But if i may, i would like to just add tags of domestic violence (kaisoo is not being abused by each other, which i think is the most important thing to note and the thing that actually gave me the push to read because the violence is not kasioo to each other).
That was the technical background of the fic.
Fic of the Episode
Now, Inarichi, hello there! Would you maybe like to start us off for those who are not familiar, what is Susceptible to You?
Susceptible to You is a slice of life college au with a relationship between a student and teacher. The playboy, Kyungsoo is challenged to seduce his professor, Jongin, who actually hates him. Along the way, some things don’t go as planned for Kyungsoo.
Things most definitely don’t go as Kyungsoo had planned…Kyungsoo after assessing the situation of his slightly uptight professor, he tries to appeal to Professor Kim by studying a bit more to show that he is serious about having his professor tutor him. Slowly, it becomes apparent that there is so much more to what meets the eye.
What was your favorite part of piecing up a story like ‘Susceptible to You’?
My favorite part was making the characters, their personalities and flaws. I think that’s always been my favorite part of my writing process. Characters are fun! And they’re the driving force of the story. If your characters aren’t interesting then neither is the story in all honesty. But also, I love to worldbuild, second to making characters. So for STY, making the characters was my favorite part and I really enjoyed exploring a different side of Kyungsoo as the rebellious, playboy type but with a soft heart. We hadn’t seen that often, if at all, in the kaisoo community at the time.
Jumping in on characterisation for a bit, your characters are very in-depth and well thought out.
Kyungsoo for instance, has a tough exterior and we learn that his piercings and tattoos are a persona, of someone who is strong and never afraid. Kyungsoo’s backstory… is tragic, to say the least, no spoilers, but when his past gets revealed… I cried… and as humans we always try to cope the best we can with the negative experiences we are put into.
Now, in all these dramatic moments we see kaisoo be put in, what was the most challenging part of writing about this particular college AU?
I’ve written a lot of aus! And I think what was most challenging about this college au was keeping the characters grounded and real. I really wanted them to feel human, for them to make human mistakes and learn from them as everyone else does. And I also wanted them to have wants and needs that we typically crave as well, making them relatable. It’s always difficult to gain perspective of a character for me, but I do try my best to put myself in their shoes.
Putting yourself in their shoes… making them relatable, by giving them wants and needs… Hopping onto that idea, kaisoo here have … made decisions for themselves and the choices these two characters make, reflect their wants and needs as you mentioned.
For instance in the chapter where Jongin came knocking on Kyungsoo’s dorm room. That choice, correct me if i’m wrong Inari, reflects his comfort in being vulnerable in Kyungsoo’s company, yet is reluctant to fully lean into the comfort because of their status as teacher and student. It’s that conflict in wanting what they want versus knowing that on some level it is wrong, and that makes characters very interesting.
To provide some context, the chapter prior to this scene was a dramatic moment. Kyungsoo attended to Jongin’s wounds, a very touching moment. But soon after it escalates when Sean calls and kaisoo get into a heated argument because of that and then Kyungsoo is forced out of Jongin’s apartment…but not without Kyungsoo giving him reassurance that he can rely and gain support from the younger. Kyungsoo is in agony when he believes he is thoroughly fucked after what happened.
But Jongin surprised Kyungsoo by appearing at his doorstep…this particular choice Jongin made reflects his want to be with Kyungsoo and the sudden need to be as far as possible from Sean.
One of my favorite smaller moments of this fic is when Jongin is reluctant to have coffee with Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo pushes a bit more and he asks, “You can’t? Or you won’t?” This moment puts Jongin in a spot where if Jongin were to lie about not being able to spend some time with him, Kyungsoo would be able to tell.
Those are just my two cents on how your characters reflect humanistic wants and needs, but could you maybe talk briefly about that scene? Or any other scene that really displayed their human mistakes and have their wants and needs?
This scene really challenges Jongin to question why he holds himself back or what he’s really facing. Actually there’s a deeper meaning to this question, pertaining to Jongin’s situation with Sean. How this situation has worsened, and Jongin as the victim of the abuse tells himself that he can’t leave. And though leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, unfortunately, it seems that Jongin was refusing to help himself leave the situation. That he chose to stay there. Asking if can’t or he won’t is a way to ask him if he’s willing to do what he needs to survive. “Can’t” is for someone who doesn’t have control of their choices. “Won’t” is for someone who has a choice but refuses not to act upon those choices.
Another scene I would say really displays human mistakes or moments of wants vs need is when Jongin and Kyungsoo are talking while Kyungsoo addresses his wounds. And they talk about why Jongin chooses to stay, and he admits to being used to this life and being unable to do so. As for Kyungsoo, he needed to learn to accept himself and his past that he ran away from. I believe his confrontation with his father really demonstrates what Kyungsoo needs. He was vulnerable and raw, and all of emotions were out of control. Which was something he so desperately sought. But he couldn’t be in control of everything and he couldn’t withstand all the secrets anymore and he needed to let go. I suppose Kyungsoo’s internal conflict was about accepting what happened, forgiveness and letting go. And that talk with his father opened up a chance for him to do. Although it left him bruised even more inside his heart, he was able to let a part of himself be at peace.
My next question, well not really, more of a request. If there was a moment in the fic, be it a defining moment, or a scene you think about when you think back to the fic, what would that scene be? And it would be an absolute honor to have you, Inarichi, the author of ‘Susceptible to You’ to read an excerpt of the scene of your choice.
Oh you’re asking the hard questions. I have a few scenes but when I think about this story, the scene where Kyungsoo calls back to Baekhyun’s words comes to mind. And also the scene where we learn what happened to Kyungsoo’s mother.
With blurred vision and harsh breaths, he ran until he tripped, falling numbly onto a thin layer of snow. Rolling onto his back, he looked at the dazzling stars which twinkled above. Crystal tears sparkled in the corner of his eyes before strolling down the sides of his face.
Don’t get hurt. Baekhyun’s words echoed inside his head, and he thought, it was far too late. It was always too late.
“When we were in that car, you want to know what she said to me?” Kyungsoo quickly wiped at his eyes, “…you want to know what her final words were?” his voice cracked pitifully and he spoke faintly between his shallow gasps of misery, “She told me to close my eyes, she was going to make it all go away. She wanted it to stop, she wanted everything to end… So when she purposely whipped that wheel, sending us into oncoming traffic!—” he choked on his words, “…I closed my eyes.”
Thank you for that… that was absolutely brilliant because nothing beats having an author reading from their own works… And I have to agree with your choice of moments of the fic. The recalling of baekhyun’s words inside his head just goes to show how far kaisoo have come to a point of almost no return. Ad of course we have Kyungsoo’s mother’s suicide that was one of the turning points in Kyungsoo’s life.
Now that we have heard from you in this manner, I would just like to ask if this was the original idea you had in mind when you first drafted the fic? How much has the story grown or changed while writing?
When I first started writing this, I had the bare bones of an outline. I had no idea what drafting was. There was no draft. I would write it out and then kind of edit, and then post it. The “outline” was one page long and it had the main story beat: Kyungsoo being challenged to seduce his professor and then that was pretty much it. It grew for me when I added Kyungsoo’s backstory that paralleled what Jongin was going through currently, and also how they started to fall in love. I think the story wrote itself at that point. I think my writing improved overall while writing the story until the end, and I could see the changes and how far I’ve come because of it. It’s my baby. I’ll never forget this fic and how it felt to complete my first chaptered story.
Oh wow, this is your first chaptered story?
Talking about backstory and what Jongin goes through… My own belief on everlasting love is that it blossoms when partners have a common experience together… but in ‘Susceptible to You’ as you said, Kyungsoo’s backstory parallels what Jongin goes through and that makes the characters relate to each other in such an intimate manner, and i’m not talking about sexual intimacy. Intimacy here is where Kyungsoo was able to share his thoughts on his feelings of wanting Jongin to leave Sean. Intimacy here is the shared experience of the abuse they go through and how they are able to find each other and be each other’s support.
As this is your first chaptered story, what did your writing process look like?
An absolute trainwreck. I’m all over the place. LOL. You know when you have train tracks that break off and go opposite directions? Like that. LOL. I’m literally hopping everywhere between scenes, simply nonlinear. And because my mind is everywhere, I have to plan. So I’m a planner (if you can believe that) I like to know where my story is going, and I have to know my ending. If I don’t know my ending then I won’t be able to begin writing. Now, I use outlines, but it’s subject to change and I will always change it. Always. My words are never cemented into anything, I can literally throw entire chapters away and start over from scratch at any time. I begin with the characters and the world and setting, and then build from there. There’s always one scene that begins everything, and then the rest fall in place.
You mentioned your writing is always subjected to change and you can throw entire chapters away and start over from scratch at any time.
Now that we know you had many and different types of drafts with different possibilities, were there any moments that did not make the cut to the final draft but you wanted to put in even after posting the fic? If so, do you mind sharing a snippet of it?
I wish there was but actually, everything that I wrote made it inside the fic. Not one scene was wasted. I wrote it as it came to me and I loved how quick pace but also steady the story is. So there was never a scene that I simply dealt away with. All of them that were there, needed to be there. Great question!
That is actually very nice to hear! It is like you’re fully satisfied with the outcome, and i think i speak for all readers, that we all are as well, fully satisfied with the story. No loose ends, there is a conclusion for everything, even the bet and all. It’s a full story.
Last question for this first half of the episode: Did you see any reflection of your own life in them? Be it the plot or the characters? You don’t need to go into intimate detail, maybe just a brief snippet of what inspired you in real life to write this fic.
In my longer works, I always leave a piece of myself. A story is as honest as you make it. In Susceptible to You, I had a moment to really add a reflection of my mom’s burial in the story. The part of the story when Kyungsoo visited his mother’s grave, that was very personal for me. Because my mother is also buried in a field and when I have a special someone in my life, I will also bring them to meet her, just as Kyungsoo did with his mother. I see myself in that moment. I see myself in his emotions to be happy and to let his mother know that he’s alright now, that he was content. Because she would want to know, and I would love to tell her that. So my stories always have a small piece of my heart in them.
That is very touching. What you hope to see in your own personal future, you project it into the fic. It’s like a promise to yourself in some ways?
And with that, ladies gays and of the like, we have come to the end of the first part of two for this episode.
This first part, Inari shared with us challenging moments while writing this fic, read us an excerpt from her Susceptible to You and we end this first part with learning that Inari leaves a part of herself in her longer works.
Now Inari, let’s take a pause here before getting to know you a bit more. Second part will be uploaded on the 14th!
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to tomorrow’s tomorrow’s episode. Stay tuned.
I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.
This episode is slightly different because we will be going through an SNS au that is posted on twitter. Now for those who are not aware, SNS basically means Social Networking Service. In this day and age where we are chronically on our phones on twitter with memes and reaction pics saved, what would a universe look like if our exo members were in a universe whose main point of communication is twitter? Unlike ao3 fics which are text based, SNS au’s content itself follows the format of… twitter basically. There are comments which a character can tweet, and its followers are able to respond as a quote or in the thread. Alongside with that are the twitter DMs and iMessage. Occasionally, as with life, not everything can be through Twitter or message, so usually to give more context or for physical human interactions with dialogue and narration, sns au authors will post screenshots of their notes or docs for it.
Now for the SNS au we will be looking at today is, bunny, or @/meokmooi double ‘o’ on Twitter.
In this SNS au, kaisoo are in an established relationship, happily married. One or two hiccups along the way but nothing that tips the boat over, or ship for that matter.
Introducing a bit on the author:
Bunny has been in this fandom since 2015, that’s about 10 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was (baekhyun) when she saw a gif on him on tumblr throwing a bottle accidentally at his face LMAO) but became a minseok/luhan stan when she properly got into exo. Then the second time she saw exo was at the 2016 EXO'rdium concert. Bunny was in the standing area and kyungsoo was externally close to her 😭 and pretty much entered the concert as a minseok stan and left a kyungsoo stan. Bunny is currently into (exo, kaisoo, dogs).
I have my beta Dudu with me today,
Hello
and she will be taking the persona of Bunny. I asked our author of the day some questions prior to this session and this is what she had to say.
I note you mostly write parents kaisoo or lactating Kyungsoo, and the ongoing one you’re doing now is no different, which is perfectly fine. But my question is what about kaisoo in real life inspired you to have this SNS au, if any?
First of all I’m astounded to be known as someone who mostly writes lactating kyungsoo 🤣🤣
Haha, of course! You have like 4 different aus with lactating Kyungsoo.
I think what inspired me about kaisoo was mostly how clingy and childlike Jongin is with Kyungsoo, and how Kyungsoo in turn tends to mother him a little. Kyungsoo is naturally domestic and cares for his members and everyone around him. Seeing the video of when kaisoo had a cooking competition and Kyungsoo won, his cheeky expression towards the latter made me laugh- they bicker like an old married couple.
Indeed they bicker like an old married couple! Really love that cooking competition and it really sets butterflies in MY stomach… i can’t imagine what it does to kaisoo in real life!
Now, bunny, —
The premise of this fic started off with Kyungsoo complaining about how Haesoo looks like Jongin when it was him who carried their baby. And of how we slowly get an in on how there was this bitch who wanted to steal Jongin from Kyungsoo and that taps onto Kyungsoo’s insecurities, which, thank kaisoo, Jongin eased Kyungsoo’s worries and I quote:
Kyungsoo sobs, his face flushed from embarrassment. “I’m not your petite little sweetheart anymore”
“I know you don’t feel it, but to me, your postpartum body is my favourite. It’s sexy as hell. I love your stomach because that’s where our babies grew so healthy and safe.”
This moment… this intimate moment where one had just barred his heart vulnerably to show his insecurities… and then the other consoling him… it just sets the bar up so high. Like in real life, i know of married men who would go on dating apps to fuck bitches just because their wives are too loose from giving birth to their child? Which is honestly the most messed up way of thinking. But with kaisoo in this au, true love in real life is not entirely lost…
I follow this account where she would post up fiction related posts like talking about fanfic tropes, relationship dynamics and ao3 tags. And in one of her posts, read this and i quote: There’s something profoundly comforting about reading stories where characters who are struggling are deeply loved by someone who isn’t scared of their flaws. Even if it’s fiction, it exists in someone’s mind, in their heart, which means it’s not impossible to find in real life.
Bunny, what do you think?
I feel like Jongin was literally written by a woman. I can’t fault anything bad about him . I can’t fault anything bad about him (except his questionable taste in shoes)
I don’t have any desire to marry and have kids because of many reasons, but if I ever did it would be someone like kaisoo 🥲 i haven’t dated since getting into exo because they have highered my standards too much 😂
Honestly, that’s perfectly understandable. Especially now in this day and age… phew getting married and having children will be a huge struggle.
Bunny, do you write kaisoo here, more specifically Jongin, to be someone who really shows how loving someone should be? Do you see any reflection of your own life in this sns au you have written? Be it the plot or the characters? You don’t need to go into intimate detail, maybe just a snippet of what inspired you in real life to write this fic.
I think I write him in a way I wish more men would be. I’ve had toxic relationships and part of my perspective with Jongin is my dream guy. I’ve not been with someone who is so loving like him, I’m probably delusional in hoping there is someone out there just like him though.
Aw that’s kinda sweet tho? You write Jongin as a projection of how you want your dream guy to be! Let’s manifest that! I hope you get someone like Jongin.
My next question is what was your favourite part of piecing up a story like in this kaisoo family sns au?
Writing about stuff that not many writers write about (*ahem* 🍼 ) and also kinda playing out my own little fantasy of them 😂
What was the most challenging part of writing this particular AU?
writing smut and conversations 🥲
Was this the original idea you had in mind when you first drafted the fic? How much has the story grown or changed while writing?
Not really, It was just going to be a one shot but here we are… 😂
Yea! And i am aware you started off this SNS au in October last year, 2023 and initially wanted it to be just a one tweet post, I mean this in the best way possible, but how did it escalate for it to be still ongoing in March 2024?
The amount of retweets and comments it received made me want to add more and I guess it escalated from there 😅 Because I have ADHD it’s taken me a lot longer to complete it and to come up with new ideas.
The power of comments from readers really do send a spur of energy for writers and that should encourage readers to always drop love and comments down to fics.
And bunny i just want to say that the photos you pick out are insane… Like how it is that you manage to find Kyungsoo’s pale skin sucking on a pacifier, kaisoo’s height difference, baeksoo huddled together on the street. Like it’s just crazy similar!
So my question here is: How does your search bar look when you look for the memes or reaction pics or those romantic pics that really look like the exo members?
Lots and lots of research on twitter and pinterest. my close mutual @moondaes (mimi) and i send a lot of pics and videos of “kaisoo look alikes” to each other, 95% of the content is NSFW 😅 when i’ve been needed a specific picture, she’s someone who i can ask for help.
for memes, mostly twitter, i have a whole album just for memes on my phone and pinterest 😂
I’m also in a kaisoo cult gc with 30 members that share some of the most questionable and unhinged memes.
OuO interesting!!! Upon doing your research and collecting resources, what is the process of making an SNS au?
Mostly collecting pictures of their kids and the couple into a folder on pinterest- if something comes up i’ll add it to the folder to use for future tweets. I use the app TwiNote and Memi Message for the fake tweets and messages. I don’t really structure the posts or organise anything *damn you ADHD brain* I pretty much just go with it 😂
–
I see so you dont really structure anything… so its more or less self indulgent postings, which is so cute and it does make it very fun to read as well.
Which part of the process of building the plot, getting the photos and piecing it all up together is your favourite part?
I think people’s reactions and comments is my favourite part, seeing that there are people out there who enjoy my au honestly makes my day 🥲
Aw, again, listeners, readers, do leave comments!
Are we nearing the end of this SNS au? Could you give us a snippet of what’s next in our lovely kaisoo family?
We are!
A few more posts and we will be looking at the end.
Hmmm, I’m thinking there might be another sibling or two ☺️
Now, dear bunny, do you have any other comments you want to share with listeners? Any teasers for ongoing AUs or a hint of upcoming AUs you have in your work in progress stage?
I had to check my notes- I’ve got a few ideas that have been abandoned because they are too NSFW for myself and twitter and I don’t want to get mass reported 😂 I also struggle with writing scenes, especially smut. that’s why i find making these twt aus easier, more fun and realistic!
After this au I will be making the prequel, so we will be able to see how the kaisoo in my current au all started! From meeting, first kiss, first everything. Moving in together, getting married, expecting their first child. But not without a lot of ups and downs - stay tuned!
Thank you bunny for your time in being on board with this kaisoo fic podcast, for your replies to my questions.
Dear listener, the link to the author’s twitter profile will be given below in the notes section. And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode. We will have a pause in April, and so do keep a lookout for new episodes May 13th and every 13th of the month onwards.
To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today’s episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.
Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to the next episode. Stay tuned.
The sequence in which we will be sharing this space:
Firstly I will introduce the fic with its technical aspects of word count, tags, author’s summary, and brief plot.
An excerpt of the fic that i believe carries the essence of the fic.
Soon after i will give a short introduction to the author and
a qna segment.
Today we will be looking at Blue (Hold Onto Me Everyday) by melings.
Blue (Hold Onto Me Everyday) by melings is about 8k words. Set in the omegaverse where kaisoo are mated. Content warnings uh i guess infertility. General tags include Soulmates; mpreg; family issues; angst with happy ending.
The premise of the fic, i'm just going to read from the authors summary:
Kyungsoo and Jongin both dreamt of having a family together and it's hard when the thing you want the most always escapes you, even more so when you have to see everyone around you getting it but you.
A bit on the plot, the dramatic events of Blue by melings starts with chanbaek’s announcement of having a fourth pup to their family. Kaisoo goes back home with a heavy heart and we see Kyungsoo’s feelings of hurt, sadness and frustration. We see Jongin joining his mate in the shower where they share an emotionally vulnerable fight. Following day, Jongin comes back home as usual, but is surprised that the omega is back earlier than him when usually Kyungsoo would be the last few to leave the university. Soon after we find out that Kyungsoo has been having headaches. A call by Chanyeol later, we see Kyungsoo in hospital. Without giving too much away, soon things get better.
—-
After coming home from their outing with their friends, kaisoo shares an emotionally vulnerable fight. I think the excerpt I will be reading shows how deep the hurt is for kaisoo, not being able to conceive after so many years. Kyungsoo expresses pain, sadness and frustration to Jongin, to his mate who he loves the most. But at this moment, because of the deep pain in his heart, Kyungsoo says some things to Jongin that hurts them both.
"There's nothing wrong with you or us, love." Jongin tried to soothe his mate, voice calm. "We just have to keep trying."
"I don't want to keep trying!" Kyungsoo cried out loud, making Jongin's heart break with the way big fat tears rolled down his chubby cheeks. His own eyes watered. "I know you won't say it out loud but it has been taking a toll on you! I'm tired of always having to watch other people getting pregnant but us!"
"You should go find another omega who can have your baby, Jongin. It has been proven that I cannot. You shouldn't suffer because my body refuses to work properly." Kyungsoo spat out, leaving him momentarily frozen in his place.
Anger was slowly rising to his own blood and Jongin knew he must have been emitting strong pheromones because he suddenly felt a little dizzy. He couldn't help it though, it was his natural reaction to his mate saying he should leave him.
"That's not even a possibility." He answered through gritted teeth, refusing to believe Kyungsoo even suggested that again.
"Well it should fucking be! When are you gonna realize that I'm not able to give you what you want?!" Kyungsoo yelled into his face when he turned around and faced him once again, his brows furrowed and his full lips pursed tightly.
"You're the only thing I want!" Jongin answered helplessly. The mere thought of being intimate with someone who wasn't Kyungsoo, of someone else carrying his kid, made him want to puke. The mere thought of being with someone who just wasn't Kyungsoo was not even worth thinking about. "I don't want anyone else to have my child but you . I want you to carry my pup and if that's not possible then that's it. I only want that with you."
The struggle of infertility is something that is kind of universal, raw emotions we see melings put kaisoo through was emotionally effective in the way it pulls at our hearts, well at least my heartstrings and made me cry.
Dear listener, how did you feel upon reading meling’s blue? What were the emotions stirred up in you?
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Now, I would like to take some time to talk about the author. Melings works on ao3 amount to 30 fics and counting. She has put kaisoo in different settings ranging from them being deaf, unconventional abo relationship dynamics, mafia au and one of my guilty pleasure fics - a lotta love.
melings has been in this fandom since late 2019, that's about 4 years.
How melings got into kpop was when she saw Ace's Savage as an ad on YouTube. Liked it enough to look it up and show it to her sister, who shared that she only liked one kpop song since 2016, the only one she had heard and was obsessed with was EXO's Monster. They decided to stalk EXO after that, got hooked and the rest is history!
Melings is currently obsessed with reading! She loves to read, not just fanfiction. Melings is currently about to finish The Villa by Rachel Hawkins, a book she highly recommends.
I asked our author of the day, some questions prior to this session and this is what she had to say:
So the first question I asked was: What was your favourite part of piecing up a story like ‘Blue (Hold Onto Me Everyday)’?
Mel’s response was that her fics mostly were smut, with Blue she wanted to take a different approach. It was fun to leave the usual comfort zone to explore topics like angst and hurt/comfort. She tried hard not to fall back on writing explicit scenes for Blue, the only scene where they are naked is solely to represent how close and comfortable their relationship is. It's a testament to how much they trust one another not about actually having their lover naked in front of them and wanting to ravish them all the time.
Melings has written many AUs with kaisoo in different settings, so my next question to melings was what was the most challenging part of writing this particular AU?
Melings confessed she had never written such an emotional fic before. This was very heavy in terms of feelings and she knew there were people in real life who probably felt just like Kyungsoo and Jongin here, so she didn't want to disrespect anyone by taking the matter lightly. At the same time, when writing and plotting, she wanted the readers to experience the rollercoaster of emotions along the characters.
My next question was: Was this the original idea you had in mind when you first drafted the fic? How much has the story grown or changed while writing?
Melings replied that starting the fic she only had the first scene, chanbaek's announcement, the confrontation, kaisoo in the shower, and the hospital bit in her head. There were some tidbits that were added mostly as plot fillers and for it not to look rushed. Didn't want them to have an existential crisis and then go on living as if nothing had changed, but slowly let time heal and surprise them.
The second last question I ask melings: What did your writing process look like?
For melings, her writing process was chaotic. It always is. Started writing everything in one sitting up to the point where Jongin gets in the shower. While writing their fight/confrontation it got way more emotional than she had expected. She hadn't intended for Kyungsoo to suffer through it so much or for him to feel so helpless but it kinda worked itself up to that and it was hard to even write it. The author also felt bad for Jongin, since he had to hear his soulmate saying such hurtful things, that is not easy to process. That whole scene was very cathartic in some ways, since melings puts herself in their positions while writing and really wanted Kyungsoo to let it all out, but it was also sad because those are the kind of moments that are not meant to be publicly displayed in a couple's life, it felt like she was intruding in a way. So it was hard and felt too intimate at times. However, the ultimate goal was for the readers to relate and feel happy and sad for them, for readers to understand the characters.
As she was trying to come up with a title, Kai's Blue came to Spotify and she knew that was the name she wanted to use to tell their story because the lyrics match their feelings perfectly!
Okay last but not the least, the final question: Did you see any reflection of your own life in them? Be it the plot or the characters? You dont need to go into intimate detail, maybe just a snippet of what inspired you in real life to write this fic.
The story was born because she met a couple who couldn't have children and saw the way their family and loved ones avoided the topic whenever they were around, as though the mere mention of it would make them breakdown. Which is understandable, it is a touchy subject for some. It got melings thinking. How might the couple feel, what goes on inside their heads, in private. She was also working on another entry for the same fest back then and the thought was so intense she had to stop and start with what would become Blue.
So those were my five questions to melings. I am forever grateful that she said yes to participating in this episode today.
Thank you so much for tuning in, and we’ll see you in the next one. Bye!
Want to thank my beta Dudu for proof reading my episode today.
Changing up the structure a bit for a few reasons: this fic is ongoing, updating every week, so this episode would sort of be like a teaser ish? to have readers be extra excited for the fic and get to take a peak into the author’s beautiful mind, one that birthed this fic.
In between, we will have some questions for maokun, who will grace us with her response.
We thank maokun for participating in this podcast, thank you mao, we love your writings and thank you for saying yes to being part of this podcast.
Now for listeners who are not aware, maokun started off as a reader, and now, a writer. Maokun’s first fic was Morning Sickness back in 2014. And from 2014 to today, maokun has authored about 35 fics and counting. A bit more on maokun before we get the episode going proper, maokun has been an EXO-L since 2012, mama era, that's about 12 years. The pull factor that got her into the fandom was Jongin’s debut teaser, and eventually Kyungsoo. They were also the reason maokun got pulled into the ficdom as well.
We are all following the beloved maokun’s latest abo fic, Private Matters. And to have it with a little more pizzazz, it is royalty au.
Already just by looking at the AU, it is quite attractive: omega prince kyungsoo and president's son alpha jongin.
Private Matters by maokun, is predicted to have about 20 chapters, and we are currently in the 8 chapter mark. And as of chapter 8 there are about 35k words. We will definitely see the word count go up as the fic updates.
The summary from the fic is as follows: The law states only an alpha could sit on the throne; omega Prince Kyungsoo is left with no choice but to wed one and he chooses the president’s son, Kim Jongin.
Well well well, we see maokun setting up the context of the fic by showing us the meeting with the palace secretaries and advisors, followed by Junmyeon presenting alphas to Kyungsoo. And to no surprise Kyungsoo is against all of them until we meet Jongin… Why does Prince Kyungsoo choose the president’s son Jongin? Why is Jongin adamant on saying no? and that, dear listeners, is how their story begins.
The story unfolds in a slow burn manner. And seeing that it has been tagged as childhood trauma, i can sort of see hints of it because there are certain parts in the eight chapters that are already out.
In chapter two for example, when both readers and Kyungsoo are first introduced to Jongin, President Kim shares that this is not the first time the two meet. It is a shocking fact for Kyungsoo, and it makes readers curious as to why Kyungsoo has no recollection of those moments with Jongin.
In addition to that as well, we have President Kim on some occasions apologising to Kyungsoo and saying things like: “Anytime, Prince Kyungsoo. It will be my pleasure to be of any help to you. Though, I’m years late.” and even Junmyeon cautioning Kyungsoo when he speaks to the president.
—-
Now from this section onwards we have some comments and questions and answers for and by maokun.
Talking about childhood, there is a request from an anon in maokun’s curious cat if you would mind adding little anecdotes of KaiSoo's childhood, maybe as a bonus chapter. Those bits and pieces of how baby Soo used to cling to Jongin hyung, the constellation mapping and diaper change.
Maokun’s response was that she most definitely has those in the story plot. She has yet to reveal their childhood past. And there is a lot to tell! Maokun plans this to be included in bits, a little bit of here and there when Kyungsoo is digging into his past. And she will probably add a bonus chapter when the fic is completed.
Trusting the writer’s choice, we will definitely see how it all comes together eventually. And we pause here for a question for maokun: We see many hints of Kyungsoo’s childhood trauma already in the first few chapters, could that be the reason behind why Kyungsoo’s personality can be quite unpleasant to the people around him?
Maokun replied that yes, Kyungsoo’s personality is intertwined with his past and childhood trauma. Readers may have noticed that he doesn’t trust anyone and believes that no one is on his side from the very first chapter. Hence, explaining his hostility towards everyone and how he always has his guard up. But without him realising it, he starts to open himself up to Jongin, thinking that for the first time, thankfully for kaisooists, he actually feels safe with Jongin.
Following the same train of thought, another tag I am excited to see unfold is the Character Development tag. Kyungsoo can be quite bratty and I hope slowly we will get to see pleasant exchanges between the couple because… as much as I love bratty soo I want to see the characters in love. I know we will get there, so we are patient and we trust in the author’s writing choice.
—
Touching a bit on the relationships and how the characters intermingle with each other:
Kyungsoo and his subordinates, Junmyeon and Baekhyun as the secretaries and Chanyeol the bodyguard. Where we are now, these relationships are very… well the prince asks and is delivered? But there are boundaries thankfully, especially when Junmyeon is involved I think mainly because he is one who is able to see the bigger picture of how people are connected to one another and works in the prince’s best interest, whether Kyungsoo sees it or not.
I think another interesting relationship dynamic explored would be between Kyungsoo and Sehun. And the thing is, Sehun is very pleasant, treats Kyungsoo respectfully but also happens to be pleasantly unaware of Kyungsoo’s true intent, which is to wed Jongin.
But im also weary of Sehun’s and Jongin’s affection to one another…but after the last two chapters, chapter seven and eight, i am kind of relieved that it seems that Jongin just likes Sehun platonically.
Now, Kyungsoo’s and Jongin’s relationship starts off by them meeting in an opening ceremony. Jongin teases Kyungsoo to no end. We next see Jongin in the palace where all the other alphas are and that is the start of their… I guess you could say this was their enemies origin story… it gets quite tense as well, their arguments are a bit unpleasant to watch at first then hopefully as the fic continues, I trust in maokun that it will be better.
And the latest chapter, oh my kaisoo! The whole chapter i had my mouth open and giggling and gosh the build up from when that bastard Myungsoo is in the scene and fucking dares to put his palm on Kyungsoo’s cheek, to that abrupt confession from Jongin with his big reveal…
There are so many tension points from his relationships with Junmyeon to Sehun to Myungsoo and to Jongin of course, so many layers to think about… now my question to our dear maokun is, without giving too much of the plot away, what is the next cause of action? Could you give us a snippet of who will be involved in the next conflict?
Maokun tells us to expect political conflicts, primarily between President Kim and The Royal Family while gradually revealing their past. The conflicts will revolve around convincing the people and stakeholders that Kyungsoo and Jongin’s marriage is not political, which in fact it is. Other than the conflicts, you can definitely look forward to Kyungsoo and Jongin putting up a good show for the cameras! And oh well, catching feelings and all that.
Oh myyy! That would be so dramatic! I love maokun’s mind, i really admire how maokun is able to give so many little bits of tension, then slowly string them together. From the beginning till where we are now, we don’t really see President Kim as much as… Jongin, for example, so it will definitely be interesting and dramatic and all things intriguing to see how that will unfold.
—
Now i asked maokun, how close are we into getting to the climax of the story? I can sense that we are somewhere near it.
And dear listeners, I was pleasantly surprised to find that we readers are most definitely not anywhere near the climax. There is still a lot to build to reach the climax and maokun believes that it will exceed 20 chapters.
Smelling the angst during the build up oh my this is going to be legendary. Following up with this I have another question: now from chapter 8 onwards, does it get better in terms of the characters liking one another? or does it get more complicated and tension filled as we go along? Because there are several layers of the characters we still need to see to fill in the plot to get the full picture, several tags that have yet to fully pop out like: childhood trauma and character development. So i guess to rephrase the question to maokun: are we in the middle of the conflict, or is this just the beginning?
Maokun responded that it can go both ways depending on the stage of their relationship. We have passed the reuniting with your childhood friend stage, making him my husband and now we’re entering the stage of getting to know him. They will start to warm up to each other, but of course the bantering won’t end. It’s too good to pass! In chapter 8, Kyungsoo saw pictures of Jongin and him when they were children which will drive him to dig into his past which he doesn’t have recollection of. And this will lead to, well, more conflicts.
—
Okay last question for the day before we reach the final comments, now, we are able to see the expressions clearly in kaisoo because maokun’s writing is very vivid and of course, this being fanfiction, it also has taken reference from the actual real lives of kaisoo as KAI Jongin and D.O. Kyungsoo of EXO. So my last question here is: which moments of kaisoo in reality did you take references from?
There are only two moments maokun took references from. First moment was when Jongin’s dogs crowded Kyungsoo’s at the lake which was based on the actual moment when Kyungsoo met Jongin’s dogs at COEX. And of course the second moment is this:
“Kim Jongin, Prince Kyungsoo is going to melt” was from the fancam where the fan shouted PLAY AUDIO “he’s going to melt”. Of course, we fans find that Jongin was staring at Kyungsoo.
Aw what sweet moments!
Any final comments you want to give us readers and listeners, maybe something to look out for as you slowly unravel their characters, and their bond of love and how they will eventually rule the kingdom?
Maokun started this fic with monarchy in mind. The concept of monarchy is understood and accepted differently by everyone. We heard of how the monarchy ended, how it is still thriving and celebrated, and how people are fighting to put an end to it. But maokun will not get into the specifics in this fic, just grazing the surface. As to not get too political! Now that Kyungsoo and Jongin will officially step into the life as a married couple, the king and queen, you’ll see how much and far it will affect both of them, as they juggle between rulers and husbands, which actually, spoiler, what Jongin fears the most.
Thank you so much maokun for sharing your beautiful fic with us! And i think i speak for everyone when i say that we are all excited for the next chapter which comes out hopefully at the end of the week!
Have a lovely week dear kaisooists, thank you so much for tuning in, and we’ll see you in the next one.
In the Clouds With You by at1stsoo ft. ksoo's I Do
This episode is in commemoration of Kyungsoo’s second mini album, pre released track, titled ‘I Do’. we will be looking at a fic I believe is very appropriate. This story we will be looking at today, illustrates and has the essence of the song.
The sequence in which we will be sharing this space:
Introduce the fic with its technical aspects of word count, tags, author’s summary, setting.
My experience reading the fic, and connecting parts of the narrative to the lovely song we have received from our dear Kyungsoo.
Short intro to the author and a qna with the author.
Without further ado, let us dive into the fic of the day.
The fic i will be going through today… is laced with so much love, and even more love to be desired upon after reading this short thousand word fic.
In the Clouds With You by at1stsoo is the fic we will be looking at today. Set in this universe where kaisoo is the way we see them now, but of course laced with fiction. This work is part of the Waxing & Waning series. I will not get into what Waxing & Waning is today, because that series needs a few episodes by itself. But going back to the fic of the day. General tags of In the Clouds With You by at1stsoo includes Fluff, Romance Wedding ish, and because it is a non au, it has also been tagged as canon compliant.
The premise of the fic, reading from the authors summary: The location is heavenly, and Jongin envisions something other than a press conference taking place. (Kyungsoo does, too.)
The setting for this fic comes after the Waxing & Waning series, so kaisoo is already in an established relationship. It is a non au, so it is inspired by real life events. Here, the event that sparked this beautiful thousand word fic was The War press conference back in July 2017.
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Everytime i read this fic, it is quite a fast read, well again it's about a thousand words, and wow does it give me the giddy feeling of love. The first few paragraphs of the fic, we have a scene where kaisoo are in their immaculate suits, written so painfully like them getting ready for a wedding ceremony in the venue. Sorry not A wedding, THEIR wedding.
The giddy feeling of love and hope and knowing their love is perfect. TO ME. Their love is perfect to me.
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I am so in love with kyungsoo’s voice and his loving and lovely lyrics. So with that, connecting parts of the narrative to the song, we have Kyungsoo singing Whatever you like, I like it too Wherever you go, I go
And in the last part of In the Clouds With You by at1stsoo, and i quote:
He releases his boyfriend and reaches into his white pants to pull out the silver ring and look at it properly. Jongin turns it over in his hand and notices an inscription inside the band:
Then, Now, Always
His eyes well up a little, and he meets Kyungsoo’s gaze with a *hitch* slight hitch in his breath.
“You like it?”
Jongin nods, his joy evident despite the tear that trickles down his cheek. “I do, I do.” Kyungsoo smiles back at him, a little glassy-eyed himself, and reaches into his navy pants’ pocket, pulling out a matching silver ring. Jongin marvels at it for a moment. “So we were only missing an officiant today?”
“Pretty much,” Kyungsoo says, giving him a light peck on the nose, cheek, and lastly lips. “You like it here? Or someplace like this?
“Name the time. Name the place. I’m yours.”
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To fuel this kaisooism even more, Kyungsoo says in ‘I Do’: I know you and you know me like we are one, between us we share countless, identical memories.
I think enough has been said. The thing is, as a kaisooist who takes references from at1stsoo’s fics, it is as if the song was inspired by this moment. Their moment of innocent intimacy, their promises of lifelong commitment, and the confidence that they would be able to prevail all that limits their bond of love.
Just an anecdote of what happened on the day of the pre released track, as i was listening to the song, i DMed at1stsoo. She mentioned upon listening to the latest release, that she had to edit the fic to have Jongin say I do, I do, to Kyungsoo’s sweet proposal.
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Onto the next segment where we introduce a bit on the author: at1stsoo is, as we all know, a writer. A kaisoo historian and won the best kaisooist a few years ago. Works on ao3 amount to about 50 fics and counting. All on EXO.
at1stsoo has been in this fandom since 2013, that's about 10 years. The pull factor that got her into this fandom was when EXO released Growl. She heard the song and loved the start of the second verse. When she watched the music video for Growl and saw Kyungsoo sing the start of the 2nd verse, her bias was solidified. Back during The Moon promotions, at1stsoo obsession was on all of Kyungsoo’s stage greetings for The Moon and the confidence he is showing in interacting with fans. The meaning behind her user pseudo name is: when she fell in love with Kyungsoo at first listen and at first sight.
My question for at1stsoo was, what was your thought process when you saw kaisoo in the war press conference? What was the first thing that came to mind, and how did everything come to place in the end to birth this beautiful one shot?
At1stsoo response was that she immediately thought the boys looked like they were ready to be in a wedding, esp Kyungsoo and Jongin, and the venue for the presscon was soooo different from the usual? outdoors? greenery? it felt like such an outdoor wedding, so she thought - ok today's the day Kaisoo gets married in the Waxing & Waning series.
at1stsoo continued that of course, a proposal made a lot more sense than an actual wedding, so she ran with that. at1stsoo had always loved their secretive whispers right in front of fans on stage so she thought a secretive proposal in front of the press was kinda fitting.
So that about sums it all for this episode, link to the fic would be linked, do take some time to read! It is just a thousand words, and what better way to celebrate this proposal ish song other than at1stsoo’s subtle wedding ish nonau fic, In the Clouds With You?
Have a lovely week dear kaisooists, thank you so much for tuning in, and we’ll see you in the next one. Bye!
