ugh.
“This is for the ones whose desire to do good is always outweighed and you don't do as you should… Hold on. HOLD ON! Because soon will come the Celebration Wedding and bundles of restoration will be our bedding.” -Bradley Hathaway I am not inherently good. Nothing motivates me more, and better, than my own desires. I wish that selflessness guided me smoothly through life; instead it tugs, pulls, and jabs at me with guilty pangs. Almost every day I see people helping one another and think to myself, “I could have done that” but why didn’t I? Why didn’t I see the need? Am I so oblivious to the world around me that I don’t even recognize that I can be helping people right in front of me? I carry this guilt after I watch someone help someone else. I see the same things everyone else sees, yet my first motion is not a caring one. I feel like I’m caught in this mind and spirit struggle, my mind automatically jumps to self service, but my spirit knows that my mind is so selfish. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m sorry, and I am trying, even if you don’t see it. I wish I were inherently good, I really, really do.
