There's Space Out There

Listen to me blabber on about basically anything that catches my fancy.

[gremlininho]

looking. at you

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

[captain-acab]

You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”

[misscrazyfangirl321]

This one wins.

[janothar]

It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up.  She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out.  First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.

Clark’s introducing her around.  “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

You blink, and take a step back in fear.  You’ve never seen an 11 before.

[aniseandspearmint]

The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.

Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”

You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.

That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.

[petitstar]

At this point, you’ve seen it all. Miled manner reporters and billionaires at a 10 and a model-like woman at 11. You were really starting to doubt your power. The day you really stopped believeing in it was when Bruce Wayne came for another visit, and this time with a kid. The kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, a bit on the short side.

He was an 8.

[lainathewitch]

The day you started believing in it again was when you saw on tv the formation of something called the justice league.

There were those same numbers over superman, batman, wonder woman and robin. That’s when you put two and two together. You wonder how nobody at the daily planet noticed that Clarke was Superman with glasses. You wonder why you didn’t notice. You wonder why nobody put two and two together that Diana Prince and Wonder Woman looked exactly the same. You look in the mirror as the realization hit you and you see your own number change from a 3 to a 9.

[ribbonsflyingoutthewindow]

I don’t think I’ve ever actually reblogged this magnificent post and that’s shame.

[dc-comics-heritage-posts]

dc comics heritage post

[sweaterkittensahoy]

shout out to everyone who has any sort of maintenance job whether it's a custodian or a mechanic or a furnace repair person or a pool cleaner or a housekeeper or anything where someone shows up or I go to you, and my shit is taken care of.

big appreciation for the maintenance people

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Huge fan of when I have a problem that I have no idea how to handle (or no time/tools/physical strength to handle) and I call A Guy who knows how to handle it and they come and handle it for me.

[everydaylouie]

jeepeon (based on this image from Let's Find Pokemon)

[sceppycat]

@demilypyro

[shubbabang]

its not funny but i do think about it a lot

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

This made me think about this panel from Calvin and Hobbes:

But unlike the adult in this strip, Calvin’s dad actually APOLOGIZED for yelling at him when he saw how guilty his kid was:

[the-quasar-hero]

It’s extremely fucked up that some ppl try to make you feel stupid and immature for hoping for a better world. You say you want world peace and mfs think you need a pacifier; dawg, I just don’t want ppl dying from violence. This idea that ppl simply must die as casualties of war is misanthropic to say the least.

[laestoica]

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[joyfulness03]

this literally just reminded me to take my meds

[dramatic-dolphin]

why do americans think everyone on the internet lives in the same place as them. just saw someone say honeybees are "not native". not native to where????? the entire planet?????

[dramatic-dolphin]

saw a photo of garlic mustard somewhere on the internet once and americans in the comments were like "fun fact this plant is invasive so you should definitely tear out any you see, WITH THE ROOTS so it won't spread!" whole fucking time i'm living in garlic mustard native range. i don't think i will be doing that.

[queerautism]

This drives me absolutely up the wall in r/birdfeeding. Every time there's a picture of a house sparrow, the entire comments are filled with americans talking about them being invasive and how they should be basically killed on sight. But often OP has not provided a location, and house sparrows have a HUGE native range. Here in the UK they're not only native birds, they're on the decline, they need our help and protection.

[robotslenderman]

Me every time I see a post saying that you should destroy your lawn and cram a bunch of native plants as closely together as you can instead. Look, I'm not saying lawns are native to Australia because they're not, but our native plants evolved to burn; they are dry, their leaves are dry, and they're full of oils. If you plant native plants the way Americans tell you to that's a fucking fire hazard and you are endangering yourself and your neighbours next time we have a Black Summer.

[robotslenderman]

My friend @ryttu3k linked me a great PDF on planting a native Australian garden in such a way as to reduce its status as a fire hazard!

[fluffmugger]

tapping onto this, Ry's guide is for a specific part of NSW. Australia is a very very big place and there is a lot of biodiversity. So don't take one guide as The One True Guide because I used to be a ranger and lemme tell you, trying to stuff native plants in terrains they are unsuited for just creates a mess for everyone. Honestly, just google "native planting <your council> " and they will have a guide that is specific to your area.

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[destiel-news-channel]

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]

No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.

JK Rowling deadnamed and posted 'upskirt' photo of trans woman on X

The wealthy author escalated a social media spat that resulted in posting a photo from a 2023 event at the Institute of Economic Affairs in

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Let's not beat around the bush: Children's author JK Rowling sexually harassed someone. In some jurisdictions, this would count as sexual abuse. JK Rowling has committed a sex crime against a woman and fell back on the old rape apologist standby of "she was asking for it".

I hope your nostalgia is worth it

[slimetony]

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.

[sailor--spoon]

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

[conqueringthenoodle]

Thank god this is back on my dash in 2018

[mschelle]

Well hot damn if it wasn't enough for this loser to throw a public tantrum now he's going out of his way to follow predestrogen on other platforms and start harassing her there!!! You can't hide these Matt I got the screenshots lol!!!!!!

HE'S BLATANTLY LYING OUT OF HIS ASS!! SPREAD IT AROUND!! And also since she seems to be from Ireland even though I don't even know shit about eu laws from what little I do know this is a big violation of GDPR and should be reported as such!! https://commission.europa.eu/law/law-topic/data-protection/reform/rights-citizens/redress/what-should-i-do-if-i-think-my-personal-data-protection-rights-havent-been-respected_en

[creatureofthecornfield]

@photomatt should kill himself.

[fleshengine]

I genuinely hope this circulates forever.

[all-mammal-creechur]

Dracula Shrew Crocidura dracula

It is found in Vietnam, Laos, and adjacent southern China, with possible range extension into Cambodia east of the Mekong River. Because it is so visually similar to the Southeast Asian shrew, it has historically been considered part of the same species complex and the range delineation between the two species is still being resolved. Recent genetic evidence strongly supports that the Dracula shrew is in fact a uniquely diverged species.

image by 夜星槎

[odddogs]

Adopt Camdon on Petfinder

Camdon is an adoptable Dog - Beagle Mix searching for a forever family near Michigan City, IN. Use Petfinder to find adoptable pets in your

the sweater and fretter, the seer and knower

[bodyintheriver]

Wip. I think the resurrection beasts are cool.

[horsefigureoftheday]

Sucks how many people were taught that "horses put their ears back when they're mad" but then never taught the difference between "angry backwards ears," "mildly annoyed backwards ears," "pain backwards ears," "concentrated backwards ears," "sleepy backwards ears" and "just happens to be listening to something behind it."

"Horses put their ears back when they're mad" idk man i think it depends

[horsefigureoftheday]

These are all completely different expressions in completely different scenarios, and only two of them are decidedly negative.

[horsefigureoftheday]

Actually, I wanna talk about the third horse, the one putting its ears back in pain. Over the last 15 years veterinarians and animal scientists have worked out pain scales for most domestic animals by taking photos of the during routine procedures.

We know vaccines painful, and by comparing horses at rest with horses getting vaccinated, we've been able to determine how they express pain visually. By looking at horses with disorders like colic, broken bones, wounds, and so on, we can determine their facial expressions during more severe pain.

At zookeeper school we were drilled through the pain faces of the most common lab animals and livestock. Nowadays I believe this has become a routine lesson in all animal related fields, but the general public still doesn't know that this is a thing that exists.

Here are all the pain face/grimace scales I've been able to find. Please study them if you interact with any of these animals on a regular basis:

[pangur-and-grim]

there's this book written in the 1870's by an abolitionist minister, Moncure D. Conway, and I find it super interesting. it's called 'Demonology and Devil-lore', and it's basically this guy's theories as to how various deities evolved. keep in mind this is all just a single dead dude's opinions, so a big spoonful of salt is required, but he says that older deities (like Old Testament God) rarely have a clear split between good/bad, and can deliver both with the same hand, and that the later splitting of good vs evil (like New Testament God, who's quite a bit nicer) can sometimes be attributed to politics. because if you're attempting to use religion as a form of control, it's better to position your guy as the Good guy. and he goes over how various demons are just the bastardized remnants of gods from conquered/colonized religions that have been swallowed by christianity, and then makes an attempt to exhaustively categorize them by type (this is where the book gets a bit dull. as an aside, this guy would have loved Pokemon.)

anyway, it got me thinking about how religious syncretism would work in a world where gods were REAL, and so that became the subplot of The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo.

it's set in 'fantasy Britain', which is a land that has experienced wave after wave of conquest and colonization. about mid 1500's, so we've had the Bell Beaker people, the Celts, the Romans, all the way to the current spread of Christianity, sorry, I mean The Goddess of the Resurrection. and she has to ability to literally demonize worshippers of other religions (which is why there's so many fun animal-people hybrids around), which makes it mentally easier for the crusaders of the Goddess to mop them up. easier to kill people if you don't see them as people.

her ultimate goal in all this is to swallow up all the gods she can and incorporate them into herself, because that's just what every god wants as part of their life cycle. and she's had great success, so far!

tl;dr The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo might be an isekai yaoi monsterfucking book, but I couldn't have done it without minister Moncure Daniel Conway and his autism-fuelled theory book.

[pangur-and-grim]

it's also funny, because when there's talk of 'The Old Gods' or 'The Elder Gods' in TIIOPP, a lot of the time they just mean like..... Apollo or something. it sounds very eldritch, but it's just roman leftovers.

the game Pentiment was actually a huge inspiration for this. I won't spoil why that is, because that would be giving away the game's climax, but it's very worth checking out. also the entire game is styled to look like a medieval manuscript, so it's just a beautiful world to walk around in.