do it like an accountant

27 | they/them | enjoyer of media | purveyor of camp | balem abrasax apologist | /about for more

[kalique]

[kalique]

one million 9/11s happening in the asoiaf fandom right now

[kalique]

in my mind there’s no way the mcu can meaningfully keep going past doomsday like there’s basically no setup and no real hype for the events of the movie beyond rdj being doom and people are only interested in that because it’s such an out of left field bizarre choice that nobody likes. i do expect it to bomb and for the mcu to be wiped from the face of the earth. we can do it guys 👍

[kalique]

i hate to reveal my ignorance but i can’t help but wonder why we’re still having society wide discussions about what team lebron is on. is he not like 50? should he not be in a field, on a farm, playing and running happily with other lebrons? what about his joints? what about his knees? does he creak audibly when he dunks?

[asamis-jodhpurs]

Started showing my wife Orphan Black last night and god. Maybe it's because I watched in high school but I really did not appreciate enough the fact that Sarah Manning is a Protagonist Of All Time right out of the gate. Amoral ruthlessly resourceful grifter. Absent mom. Willing to chug soap and make herself throw up to maintain a con. Saw a woman identical to her jump in front of a train and leapt straight to identity theft and faking her own death with zero hesitation. Like yeah I'm probably a clone being hunted by a shadowy organization but I got a scam to run so I don't have time for that. Absolutely no notes complete banger of a character.

[kalique]

i cant breathe and my mouth tastes bad, my eyes sting, my chest hurts, my mom hasn’t been able to go outside for days, the elderly are dropping like flies, you can’t see 2 feet in front of your face, people are fleeing their homes for their lives, and if i see one more “fuck canada for ruining our summer” tweet from a yank i might actually track down their location and run them over with an actual car

[kalique]

“homophobic politician is secretly gay” has been a satisfying and poetic concept to imagine for time immemorial, for sure, but the way people are wording what they’re saying on twitter… sheesh

[kalique]

*guy bravely standing up for free speech image* i’m sure lindsey graham was a rotten pos, but the way everybody on twitter is frothing at the mouth to make fun of him supposedly being closeted gay is. er. not very woke? why does “this guy might have been gay” seem like a good way to humiliate him and tarnish his memory to you people. quickly 🎤

[kalique]

lestat as the main character could not be less appealing to me. when kronk’s new groove came out everyone was like “kronk is fine in small doses but as the main character he is annoying as fuck.” mind you i couldn’t possibly agree less with that sentiment but that’s how i feel about lestat

[kalique]

i watched like 3 episodes of iwtv with the homies and i was like wow this is great and then never got around to the rest so i don’t really “go here” per se, but the idea of renaming the whole thing “the vampire lestat” and centring it around lestat’s rock music career to the point of releasing, like, a real life album, and doing real life concerts, is batshit crazy to me. yes i know it happened in the books or whatever and that we already did this in 2003 (camp!) but frankly the changes they made to the source material were the reason the show was interesting and compelling in the first place and now i absolutely could not gaf about ever continuing it

[kalique]

not a single soul mentioning dumb dumb want gum gum. you could not walk 2 feet in fifth grade without hearing some mf saying dumb dumb want gum gum

[kalique]

i feel crazy i just saw someone on twitter naming popular middle school phrases and they listed afro circus and some random quote from night at the museum about firepower or something that i never heard of in my life. all the replies were people my age being like “omg you awakened a memory within me everyone was saying that shit in the day”. NO TF THEY WERE NOT?? we were saying “dumb dumb want gum gum”!!! what are you talking about!!!???

[kalique]

this would be cold comfort to the execs who lost a bajillion dollars but i feel like masters of the universe has the potential to become a hidden gem cult classic in 5-10 years given how everybody who saw it was saying it’s actually kind of okay

[kalique]

message in a bottle one of the greatest songs ever lowkey

[kalique]

do europeans believe in fans cause i would straight up be dead without my oscillating fan

[kalique]

keep thinking about the discourse this summer where europeans are acting like air conditioning is this crazy silly yank invention that is beneath them to use. to each his own but i’m canadian and if i didn’t have ac i would be a foul smelling and horribly textured puddle of flesh on the floor

[kalique]

list of things i hated about independence day resurgence:

-the 1st movie ended with somebody flying a plane into an alien ship on a suicide mission to stop it. the 2nd movie ends…..the exact same way.

-it wasn’t funny

-…except during horrifying disaster scenes where millions upon millions of people were gruesomely perishing, at which point jeff goldblum and who-the-fuck-ever hemsworth found the time for some humor/laughter

-also, TWENTY YEARS have passed, and the 1st movie’s disaster scenes looked more realistic!

-THEY MADE THE AWESOME PRESIDENT INTO A SNIVELING, TWITCHING COWARD!!!!!!!!!

-THEY REPLACED THE PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER WITH SOME NEW ACTRESS EVEN THOUGH THE OLD ACTRESS IS STILL FAMOUS IN HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean she refused to come back so there was nothing they could do about it, but i don’t approve of the new actress! she doesn’t have my seal!

-THEY KILLED WILL SMITH!

-THEY KILLED CONSTANCE!

-THEY KILLED JASMINE!

-THERE WERE NO DOLPHINS!

-pandering to china!!!!!!!

-they kept hinting at side stories that sounded WAY the fuck more interesting!!! AND THEN! NOT! EXPANDING ON THEM!!!

-the 1st movie succeeded because of will smith! you can’t just replace will smith with a bunch of boring ass new generation assholes who have absolutely no charisma! IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!

-they tried their damnedest to recreate the president’s badass speech from the 1st one! IT! DID! NOT! WORK!

-oh and lest i forget, IT WASN’T PATRIOTIC!!!!! I’’M NOT EVEN AMERICAN AND I’M PISSED OFF THAT THIS MOVIE WASN’T PATRIOTIC! IT IS CALLED INDEPENDENCE DAY!

things i liked:

-the alien queen was cool!

-jeff goldblum and his dad tried their best!

[kalique]

i’m in tears i was so fucking mad about this movie in 2016 how bad could this movie possibly be