God Himself

26 • I am healing Problematic | May be triggering (basicallyallshitposts)

[kanine666]

This is the first time I’ve felt this strong urge to write something involving my emotions when they are positive ones.

The conversations we have had,

The given reasons to why we do things,

Our fundamental beliefs.

Did we lie?

Sitting back, watching time continue—

The ground that holds me may look the same,

but it has changed.

No more broken glass, torn papers or shattered dreams.

To me I see new beginnings, because the beliefs you sold me were never yours to sell.

And now that I embody the beliefs you falsely lived by, I can distribute without a price.

For I don’t seek to gain from our right to be loved.

[kanine666]

I fear there is no end.

No end to the pain that haunts me.

No end to the winding roads I follow.

No end to constant introductions and never spoken goodbyes.

No end to the thought that I will never reach my destination.

Where is my destination? Have I lost sight of where I’ve been going? Was there ever even an end?

As I break down the gigantic walls I’ve built in the past, I find myself building new ones in different places.

When I scream through the rubble it seems no one can hear me. I need help. Please.

[1st-1]

[inawheatfield]

I already know the way it ends

[strangledplanet]

[christianrichardrice]

[kanine666]

I’m falling so fast I don’t have time to think.

This spiral seems never ending.

I know how to grab onto the walls beside me but it hurts my hands because the rate of which I am falling.

I can’t take anymore pain, that’s why I don’t grab onto anything.

The sweet thought of not having to partake in the hurt anymore, the thought of eternal sleep.

I don’t want to hurt my friends, but in the end it’s me who takes all the hurt.

I’m selfish.

Or am I just tired?

Bright light, iridescent. Kaleidoscope visions, internal warmth. My head wants to swing back and take it all in, yet my mind knows I can’t indulge.

What am I doing?

How did I get here?

Why am I still alive?

It’s said that I wasn’t ready yet, i thought I was.

I still think I am.

These relationships I’ve built are selfish, I only wanted a break from loneliness. Now I’m forced to stay and hurt or to just hurt.

I can’t hurt the people I care about. If I could do it without doing so, it would’ve been done long ago.

I failed given the opportunity, why me? What is so special about me?

How can my life make such an impact to this world that I was forced to come back?

I don’t see it, the impact. In fact I fear I only create chaos. I am but a sliver of an impact in the world of chaos, there is no need for me.

There is no need for me.

[vlauge]

[barladera]

some bloody embroidery)

[photobirbb]

x

[ruhlare]

[leaveful]

[photobirb]

x

[straightboyfriend]

sorry for acting so strange & irregular it will happen again

[1xmski]

[5ubtotem]

[25092010]

this is how i disappear (2006) // adel abdessemed: forbidden colours (2018)