Was it rude? Sure. Was it offensive to lgbt+ fans? Yes.
It may have hurt you, as a wlw, to see them so casually disregard something you are so attached to. To see them so casually disregard something you’re so attached to because you are a woman who loves women.
But the truth of the matter is, they just saw it as a ship that isn’t going to be canon, but that everyone has gone crazy for.
This happened, not because they are homophobic, but because they don’t realize the impact even non-canon wlw ships have on wlw.
They likely thought of it the way they think of other ships. Like typical ship wars, except there’s no reason for it because it’s not a part of the show they’re making.
“They’re only friends. They’re not gonna get together, they’re only friends.”
This statement in and of itself was not homophobic.The shouting was cringy, but It could be said about any gender combo of a ship that isn’t going to happen, and there’s nothing inherent in it’s use that implies there is homophobia underlying it.
Heteronormativity, I suppose, in them assuming that Kara and Lena could never get together. (But it’s also true? They know that they’re not going to get together? They were never going to get together, and we all knew this.)
People are inserting a “we don’t like this ship because it’s gay” into the “they’re only friends!” that doesn’t exist at all.
If an actor said this about a straight, non-canon ship, even in the shout-y way they did it, it wouldn’t be a big deal. It’d suck for the people who shipped it, but it wouldn’t be a mark against their character, really.
Take for instance, The 100’s Eliza Taylor’s pretty obvious annoyance at Bellarke. A lot of people ship this non-canon ship, are super invested in it, and she’s pretty apparent about her dislike of it.
But because it’s not a gay ship, it’s not a big deal.
Their misstep was in not realizing that this isn’t a straight ship, and that it has a deeper meaning to people. It’s something that Jeremy is finding out-
Uninformed, not homophobic. It’s like someone calling someone something that they didn’t know was a slur. You aren’t aware of the impact the words can have, and you don’t mean it in the way that would hurt them.
Side note: it’s easy to say “then they should just apologize and not make excuses.” But when the alternative to me explaining myself is the other person thinking I actually feel a certain way, a way that would hurt them and lessen my own character exponentially, I’d probably do the same thing. Defend myself, whilst recognizing that I hurt the other person and apologizing for that. I wouldn’t apologize for being homophobic if I wasn’t homophobic.
In my drafts, I have a response to someone asking if Kara and Lena could ever get together a few weeks ago, and it was a strong “No, do not put your hope in this possibility”.
It’s sucks that we can’t have two main wlw relationships on a mainstream show at this stage, but that’s the way the reality of the world is, especially coming from straight writers who want to write stories about themselves. Realistically, we need to look toward wlw writers for that kind of representation.
But if your anger is about the fact that they won’t get together even though they have chemistry, that we don’t have the option that heterosexual ships have of something developing because of chemistry, then I think your anger is misdirected at these cast members, who are simply aware of this fact and did not make it so.
Should you be angry at the writers? Maybe. I think it’s the industry, more than any individual creative team (producers are more accountable because they are the gatekeepers), at this point. Writers like to write things they relate to, so we need to get people in who are lgbt+ to handle these stories if we want more than one or two lgbt+ characters.
What you should be angry at is that it looks like Ali Adler, a lesbian writer, was pushed out of the show.
Melissa’s comments, specifically:
Because this is a Kara/Melissa heavy blog.
Melissa was singing “a girlfriend” about Lena up until Jeremy shouted “They’re only friends!”
Then she laughed at Jeremy’s comment, mimicked his shouting, and said “We’re only friends!”
Like .2 seconds ago, she was into it.
Her stance didn’t shift from accepting to rejecting, she just joined in on a joke about how everyone loves these two characters together but they’ve been playing them as just friends.
(To me, this read like fake exasperation, playing that someone is repeatedly asking you if you’re into someone, but you’re not. I won’t argue that this is true, because we really can’t be sure, but that’s what my people-reading instincts are telling me about the situation?)
But as it stands, I don’t sense any hostility toward the concept of supercorp at all.
Melissa said this, not as “You’re so brave for standing up and going against the gays. It’s what we’re all thinking.”
She said it as, “You’re brave for saying that a ship that people are so so into is definitely not gonna happen when we’re expected to tiptoe around that fact as much as we can, to keep them watching. And for saying something against a group that has a really impactful presence online and who’s fans been known to harass people who are a threat to the ship (Rahul Kohli, anyone?).”
And Katie, a few minutes later, said that she and Melissa talked about how it was great that people could look at what they do and see something totally different from what they saw. And Melissa has enthusiastically agreed with the positive things that Katie has been saying on the matter.
She hasn’t said much herself, beyond that it’s cool that people can take away from it what they like and that she’s cool with it (plus when asked why people like supercorp so much, she said “A Luthor and a Super” which made me happy because it’s like an Iconic™ line from the show and a big way that I conceptualize them) but she’s a wallflower type and more comfortable directing people to others’ articulation of difficult topics than expressing them herself (like posting someone else’s comments about he US backing out of the Paris Agreement on her instagram, avoiding giving long speeches about her relationship with Chyler because it makes her emotional, letting Katie- who has more experience on this matter- take the wheel with explaining where they stand, liking Jeremy’s apology but not posting one of her own). She’s an introvert awkward type, not a Supergirl Hope Speech type. The only thing she really seems comfortable talking about is Kara’s characterization and growth, because it’s what she knows best and has lines ready to go.
She laughed, and it wasn’t an awkward laugh. She thought it was funny. People have been posting pictures of her reaction that are misleading, but this was her initial laugh:
That’s a genuine laugh. Taking a single frame of a laughing face and adding the words “help me” over it will make anyone look like they’re faking being amuse. But this is a real laugh.
And it’s not the end of the world.
Because she didn’t think it would hurt anyone. At least not in that moment.
Later on, after thinking about it and having a lot more experience with these specific kinds of wlw fan situations than the rest of the cast, she re-emphasized her support.
The cast was not trying to mock anyone, but to say something dramatically in jest, not realizing that it’s actually hurtful. Like teasing someone about being short and then realizing that they are actually sensitive about it. The other person’s feelings are valid, but accusations that you hate short people are not.
There are other things that I have issue with that Jeremy said (and with Chris but I’m not gonna touch that). His use of the word “debunked”, as if Supercorp is a conspiracy theory, for example. His initial apology that was less empathetic than it was defensive (likely in response to aggressive as hell comments, to be fair).
But based on his follow up apologies, I think he’s starting to get where it went wrong, that fandom is really important to people and not a fickle thing, and even that his initial apology wasn’t good enough.
And Melissa isn’t going to post a formal apology. It’s not her style, she doesn’t write on social media like that at all. Even if she does feel bad that she hurt people’s feelings, her method of making it better will likely be saying positive things about Supercorp in the future. Which doesn’t make her fake or two faced, it makes her capable of growth and empathy.
They made a mistake and said something super insensitive, but not something homophobic. The intention and the knowledge behind words matters, and placing a double meaning of mal intent into those words (but of course absolving your fave of any connection to it) doesn’t help anyone.
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