Kara Zor-El left her dying planet, slept in stasis for 24 years, arrived to find her cousin, whose care she was charged with, had already grown up without her. She then spent the next 12 years struggling with becoming Kara Danvers--with learning a new culture and adjusting to her life on Earth, aging into adulthood, and eventually coming into her own as a hero.
Because even though she took on the mantle of Supergirl, Supergirl isn't really a person. She's a disguise Kara wears to protect the people she loves while she's protecting humanity.
And so she put Kara Zor-El away and became someone new. Because Kara Zor-El doesn't really have a place on Earth. To everyone here, including Eliza and Jeremiah and Winn and James and Catco and the alien bar and yes, even Alex and the DEO, she'll ALWAYS be Kara Danvers.
Even Clark, her only flesh and blood on Earth, didn't remember Krypton. She was its ONLY living memory. Imagine how lonely that must have made her feel.
Until, one day, a pod fell from the stars right at her goddamed feet, of all places. Not Asia or Europe or Australia, it crashed down in the middle of National City, against astronomical odds (bonus that he waited EXACTLY the right amount of time for them to be the same age, and randomly broke loose and got to Earth somehow... Whatever they never actually explained it).
And in that pod was a man she didn't quite see eye to eye with. Who was from a culture she'd been raised to despise. Who'd lived a lifestyle her people didn't approve of.
BUT...he also KNEW her people. He remembered her ways, her language, her religion, her customs. He'd probably known Kryptonians socially, maybe even visited there. Certainly they shared a wealth of life experiences, as former denizens of advanced space-traveling planets. Even during the early days when they clashed, they had a whole wealth of commonalities.
So when he showed up, for the first time in 12+ years, Kara got to say:
"I'm Kara Zor-El, I'm from Krypton, and like you I'm a refugee on this planet."
And maybe it didn't occur to her in that moment what a big deal that was. But on some level it must have felt so joyful and cathartic to be able to step back into the shoes of Kara Zor-El, to have someone, FINALLY, know her by that identity, first and foremost. Just a girl from Krypton meeting a boy from Daxam.
And not just that, but to have someone who understood exactly what it was like to be the last of your kind, the only survivor of a dead world, the only soul left to carry the legacy of billions. And to live with the knowledge that all of that will one day die with you.
Not to mention he had powers similar to hers. Here, finally, was someone who she could kiss with abandon, without having to worry about breaking his nose. (And yes, I'm of the mindset that physical intimacy bears some major challenges for Kara, and it's also a significant hardship for her that she's unable to experience physical closeness and comfort outside the occasional sister hug, which probably feels like hugging a giant feather anyway).
Here was someone she could have grown old with while she watches all the humans she loves age and die without her (yes it's canon that Kryptonians age more slowly than humans). Someone who was a peer, who could fight by her side as a hero. Someone she very well might have imagined having kids with, passing down her culture and customs so that both their worlds might live on.
Imagine the joy of her falling in love with the ONE person she's ever had in her life on Earth that gave her a chance to be her whole, complete self. Someone with whom she could really, truly, HAVE IT ALL.
Someone she could have a REAL life with, the kind she told us since season 1 that she's been dreaming of and fears she will never find.
And now imagine instead of THAT guy, she ends up with some regular human dude who just happens to have the same job as her and is vaguely nice I guess or whatever.
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