my brain is rotting out of my ears. I love the warriors so much have some headcanons
total blanket hog. rolls himself up into a burrito while he sleeps and sometimes struggles to get out of it when he wakes up
the type to yell when he yawns and goes “SHIT” afterwards
he doesn’t play sports himself but he would like watching them, especially ice hockey
is really good with his hands and makes little crafts for his friends
season 1 reiner would say “saturdays are for the boys”
doesn’t understand some of the kids’ slang and has to have it explained to him by people more with The Times™
“bertl what’s a poggers”.mp3
doesn’t know how to convey emotions sometimes so he shows affection through physical contact
really likes birds and always points them out to his friends then proceeds to identify the species and talk about it
likes writing his own little stories and drawing things. only reiner knows this and is v supportive
has Motherly Tendencies™ e.g. will patch up the kiddos and lecture them about being more careful
however sometimes he just doesn’t care
e.g. he’s told that reiner is passed out in a bush somewhere and he just goes “boys will be boys I guess”
is good at singing but does it in front of absolutely nobody. maybe armin though <3
talks MAJOR shit, then she sneezes, which is pretty much just a squeak, and all of a sudden nobody takes her seriously
people pick her up all the time. what is it about being short that makes people want to pick you up
that being said she can pick up literally anyone. had a bet with reiner that she could lift him and he was like lmao sure then got FLUNG
doesn’t really know how to braid her own hair so she practices on armin
she likes painting as well and has a bunch of her own artwork hanging up because she’s proud of them :)
randomly tells people to shut tf up even if they aren’t talking
will literally never admit this to anyone other than pieck but he does yoga. is surprisingly flexible. his joints sound like glowsticks though
likes history and goes bonkers over historical inaccuracies in films
really really bad at reading the room and will often use a tone of voice inappropriate for the situation
he’s so so cocky and stubborn but one (1) compliment and he’s taken tf out
frequently rubs his hands on his jacket or pants because they’re always clammy
little bit of a god complex
she would probably meow at people
absolutely horrendous balance. tried to do yoga with porco one time and he just watched as she toppled over repeatedly. blames it on being quadrupedal most of the time
offers piggyback rides to the kids. they absolutely love it
“you good? your vibes are off”
got porco into true crime and they watch it together constantly
she’s really good at math and already likes kids so she would help them with their work
he’s the kind of person to stand at the gas station next to his car and stare people tf down while eating a hot dog.
highly judgmental, for that matter
he just absolutely LOVES subtly messing with people. one time he kept adding condiment packets into one of reiner’s pockets until he noticed. the final amount was ungodly
who the hell needs this much mustard.jpg
would respond to “go fuck yourself” with “fuck me yourself you coward”
similarly he would respond to “you know what they say” with “I’m afraid I do not” even if he does, infact, know what they say
most of the time people genuinely can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not and he probably doesn’t know either
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