Hi! Itās me but without directly addressing this to you. How are you? I canāt sleep and honestly Iāve been dreaming of you frequently. Are you okay? Twice this week, youāre in my dream, we were happy. I was happy.
All these times, I thought I am doing fine. I am okay and I have been loving myself so dearly. But why do every time Iām happy, you always appear in my dreams? Giving me all of your time, your love and attention. You keep saying that Iām the one you wanted, that youāll always do everything to win me back. It feels real. You, holding my hands while we walk, telling me how much you love me.
Why do you still have that special place in my heart? Why do you keep on appearing in my dreams? Why do you have to search for my social media accounts after blocking me? Why do you have to message me as if I have all the answers to your random questions about your mom? It has been a year, but you keep on haunting me. You know me very well, you know how to use my weakness against me.
And it was so hard to tell myself every day that I am okay, that I am doing better, that I donāt care anymore yet all it takes is a dream with you in it and then in a snap Iāll get back to being sad once more. Longing you more despite everything that has been said and done.
I have been through a lot fighting for that place in your life. Now that Iām trying to live a new chapter, you and everything about that relationship is pulling me backwards. What do I have to do to be somehow free from those memories? Your memories?
Can we be happy with our lives now? You have her. I have myself. Weāre not the same. And I donāt really want anything that may ruin your happiness now. Just please let me be happy. I want you to be happy, you know I wonāt wish any harm towards you. I even set you free knowing that I wasnāt enough and will never be. Please, please letās not bother each other anymore. I loved you but this has to end. I love myself better now.
dailybridgerton
ellievsbear
theartofmadeline
pixelskylines
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