Karli's Kandid Life

Karli | 26 | Puppy Lover | Healthy Lifestyle Enthusiast | Coffee Addict | Future CPA | This blog is a mesh of my life, including learning to live with anxiety/panic disorder. 

[emmisnotshortforemma]

[karliskandidlife]

I’m starting see things more clearly, but I don’t know how to feel about any of it. Things are falling apart at the seams, it feels. My emotions are running rampant, and it’s all I can do to stay sane sometimes.

Life is just a big adventure, and I guess I’m just scared of what I could be missing out on...

[typelikeagirl]

[theredheadfromvirginia-deactiva]

[karliskandidlife]

I really cannot WAIT to get my actual blog up and running again I feel like I have so much to share and to post about!!!

[espressogal]

once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!

[chillxmami]

If your gf/bf/bff needs reassurance on how you feel, just give it to them. We’re humans and go through shit. It’s nice to feel wanted.

[motivatemeplsthx]

[karliskandidlife]

Help I feel super sad and it’s just getting WORSE with every minute 

[karliskandidlife]

*possible trigger warning so putting a read more*

You may not be able to find out who you are at the bottom of a bottle of wine, but you sure as heck can try. 

My sadness is so heavy right now. I have never felt such unbearable sadness and anxiety. The pain sits so physically heavy on my shoulders and chest. My body aches from the weight of it all, and my mind never has a moment’s rest. The “what if’s” continue to play through my mind. I remember things that happened, even though I wasn’t even there. And they burn into the back of my brain and replay day after day and I feel the pain over and over. You have healed and I’m so, so scared. Because I really don’t know if I ever will. I can’t imagine a life without you, but life with you is starting to become so hard. I thought that time would heal my wounds. But maybe some things never heal. 

I hurt.

I feel broken.

I feel ugly. and fat. and every kind of “not enough” you could imagine.

I just want to feel like me. I want to learn who I am, and find that happiness, and feel free. But I feel so helpless. So hopeless. 

I could be making the best decision of my life or the worst. And I have no idea which it would be. 

[nosetogrindstone]

“It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough.”

— Daniell Koepke (via podencos)

[smashing-yng-man]

[theslaybymic]

Watch: Kristen Bell opens up about the mental health double standard and how she manages her own struggle.

Follow @this-is-life-actually

[laureninlilly]

Hit reblog on this so hard

[geniusorinsanity]

SHOUT OUT TO KRISTEN BELL’S MOM THOUGH? WHAT KIND OF FANTASTIC SELF-AWARE PARENTING, WELL DONE MA'AM

[arcistoria]

[karliskandidlife]

Feeling kind of cute today? Idk. Happy Wednesday!

[karliskandidlife]

6.5.18

Yesterday’s eating didn’t stay quite on track BUT I did successfully have veggies with every main meal so I’ll still count it as a win. Also, Cam and I went to the gym! So that was super fun. I’m shocked he actually went with me. It was fun going to the gym with him and having a workout buddy! At our new house the gym is close enough to walk to so we walked briskly there and back as the warm up/cool down. It was really nice!

For my workout I worked on biceps and shoulders:

- Cross body curls - Seated DB shoulder press - Upright rows - DB Curls w/ hold - DB Hammer curls w/ hold - Standing BB shoulder press

My shoulders were SCREAMING by the end. My shoulders have always been a week point for me. Since we’ve moved I still haven’t found the charger for my Apple Watch, so I did not get to track this workout. Boo! :(

As for the food intake for the day:

I did okay until the Cheetos and Ben and Jerry’s and two glasses of wine...but hey. It was a good day and I won’t complain. And I swear today my stomach already looks flatter! I’ll chalk that up to the veggies and exercise thankyouverymuch.

The zucchini boats were delightful. Too bad Cam doesn’t like zucchini. I on the other hand LOVED them and 10/10 would make the recipe again, especially with those macros! Yum!

Hoping to get into the gym today for back and triceps work. I’ll keep y’all posted!

[karliskandidlife]

Setting New Goals

I’m feeling really excited today because I have officially started my clean eating/healthier eating lifestyle. I don’t want to call it a diet, because that’s not how I want to think about it. This is my officially making healthier, more wholesome choices for my body. 

The past few days I’ve been feeling super motivated to be back in shape and healthy again. I just remember how much happier I felt, as well as how much more energy I had throughout the day. I’m tired of feeling sluggish all day long, and I’m tired of hating the way I look. I’m ready to shred some of this excess fat and get back to my healthiest self again!

To start this process, I bought BuffBunny’s Five Week Shred program. Although I probably won’t be following the meal plan (there’s no way I can eat the same thing every day for each meal for five weeks straight), my goal is to follow the workouts to a T. I also purchased some whey protein. Normally I use plant-based protein powders, but the whey options are a lot lower in carbs. By having both at my disposal I’ll be able to be more flexible with my macros. 

I spent my lunch break today working in my bullet journal, jotting down some healthy meal and snack ideas and their macronutrient and calorie breakdowns. Having a written place to glance at ideas will help me organize my plans and make it easier to form a grocery list. Pinterest is useful for discovery and keepin the recipes, but I need to have the ideas at hand on paper for some reason for my brain to really focus. 

Today I started the healthy eating part. Here’s how my day is set to look so far:

I only at half of my breakfast, but I brought the rest to have after lunch today because I have a feeling I’m going to need a mid-afternoon snack. I’ve eaten the apple so far, half the breakfast, and the full lunch. The dinner is what I have planned and ready in the fridge for this evening, and the chocolate protein shake is probably what I’ll have after I work out today. 

I haven’t had the oats yet either, but I can already feel a sweet tooth coming on and am ready to grab those first when it strikes. Also, I highly recommend organic agave syrup for  your oats! Super sweet and delicious and it is absorbed slowly to help prevent blood sugar spikes :) I may throw some chocolate chips in too, we will see ;) 

Super happy with how today looks so far. Depending on whether I do the workout I have planned or not I’ll probably have to eat a little bit more. 1400 is about my resting burn amount and I don’t to under eat and binge tomorrow!

If you have any recommended snacks or meal ideas for a cleaner, well balanced diet let me know!

xo, Karli