karsiccaenlole

[karsiccaenlole]

Differences.

People tend to dictate what your life should be though they don't know you that well. They give you advice from time to time as if you haven't tried all of the options. They insist on doing things for you because they think you deserve better. What they don't know is... you chose to be like this.

You are not even ready to have something new in your life but they keep on insisting that you're good to go. If they have things that you don't have and they think you should have... It is your decision to decide whether you need to have this or that. you don't need to join the bandwagon.Trying to lure you into something you're not ready for or you don't need is totally not cool.  it is annoying. 

You already have a lot on your table and it's getting piled up. You don't need someone to tell you what you should do with your life but you need someone who'll understand your unconventional life choices. 

You may not have a perfect life... well, you don't really have a life but rushing things won't do you any good. Always think before deciding something life changing. It'll take time to go for the big leap. 

Others may not be happy with your slow paced life but it is your life. We all have differences and people close to you should respect those differences and hopefully they'll realize how unfair it is to compare their lives to yours. Your problems are much different to theirs and they won't ever understand what you are going through. If they think their lives are ideal and your life isn't... can they stop asking why your life is like this?

You tried hard. Nothing worked. And, they know nothing.

[karsiccaenlole]

Unworthy

Since the realization of uselessness, no has been uttered every single day. It is easier to decline for I do not deserve the reward from saying yes. When the future can not be seen nor predicted, can hope still exist? If failures are the expected result of trying, will perseverance take over? When conquering the fear of opportunity, can giving way to others who matter be a solution? When doubts of ones existence lingers every night, will the morning hide the fallen tears?

[karsiccaenlole]

When an intense feeling of inferiority overwhelms your life, it greatly affects your opinions and your outlook in life. I feel like a piece of paper being crumpled and thrown away to a pile of trash.

Tears are supposed to ease the pain. Smiles are supposed to be genuine. But, these tears just keep on falling. These smiles became more pretentious.

It is never easy to act like everything is fine. It is never easy to become who you are expected to be. It is never easy to make things work when all of your efforts turned into dust before you even start trying.

My existence became a burden to many. My existence doesn’t benefit anyone. My existence and my future became other people’s biggest disappointment.

I don’t deserve to smile or laugh. I don’t deserve to feel at ease. I don’t deserve to live my life.

[karsiccaenlole]

First Grade.

When stories to tell are too hard to share… It makes me wonder if there's still have the right to speak up and tell what one ought to say.Demands and nonexistent plans of asking for anything beyond basic needs are far from mentioning. Maybe, keeping these lips sealed is the best solution for a nonsensical human being could ever think of...  

Can I? May I? Words that later on are becoming difficult to find in my little dictionary. Words that are becoming fiction, though these are proven facts. It seems that words are not meant to be heard or opinions tends to be ignored. Should a single word not be uttered?

Being excited for something is becoming a big predicament and might as well hide all the giggles and laughter for they do not appreciate you being overly excited for something that do not concern them.

Same situation different time… wherein there's nothing to do but to say yes, do what you're told to do, not say anything until asked for your opinion and be as quiet as possible. Welcome back to thy old self. You were not missed but others seems like missing you a lot. Try to hold on and hope everything will be fine. It may be impossible to hold back those tears but pain and frustrations can be kept hidden. 

[karsiccaenlole]

Ticking Bomb

One year ago, I was the type of friend who was filled with positivity and could come up to an answer to every problem. A year after, I am now doomed with negativity and problems that are unnoticeable. I cannot seek for help because my problems are not even problems but excuses. They're contented and living their dreams and I don’t tend to ruin their mood for even a second. I don’t blame anyone because I choose to be alone. It is better like this and when the time comes when I have to put a smile and liven up my mood for the eyes of my love ones, I’ll automatically act like everything is fine. That is how my life has been since the start of this year. The smiles hardly exists and laughter turn into practiced ones. They say never give up but it is hard not to think of giving up when nothing is happening.Nothing is working... 

[karsiccaenlole]

Why am I still alive?

[karsiccaenlole]

Living in a world filled with crosses and pretending not to care at all… Whatever reasons people might have to live long, I’d rather be stuck in my own bubble and swim in the fantasy of perfection than be everybody’s obstacle to greatness. It should be a world filled with smiles and laughter but not everyone could live like that… It is not negativity but a reality for those who can’t seem to understand why some people are in a blackhole. Not everyone can draw a smile. Not everyone can know the unknown. Not everyone can be what they’re supposed to be. Not everyone can be like everyone.

K. [10.21.14. 02:24]

[karsiccaenlole]

Early birds for our weekly family dinner at Lola's House.

[karsiccaenlole]

Win a trip for two to KOREA now! Take the chance to make your imagination become a reality (7/15~8/31) http://www.tourimagination.com

[karsiccaenlole]

[karsiccaenlole]

[karsiccaenlole]

Never ask for something you don't deserve to have.

[karsiccaenlole]

Recounting all the blessings to be thankful for, making a mental list of the things that I need to improve on and losing the desire to have something that I abused in the past. I always ask God why is it not yet happening to me? Do I have to wait that long to be really happy? Still waiting to bring back that genuine smile that I've always wanted.

[karsiccaenlole]

Back to reality. Back to sagadang workout. Back to intense diet. (I still don't know why I'm wearing long sleeves... Ang init!)

[karsiccaenlole]

Laboracay 2014: Day 1

Loco Frio. White House. San Mig Light.

[karsiccaenlole]

Blessed with parents who also loves traveling. So many plans! HK then SG!

[karsiccaenlole]

I’m grateful for a lot of things but why am I not happy? Am I not grateful enough?