🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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@kartmans-kool-komments
"RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH"
Cartman Ask Blog
Ran by @mannequinhandsinyerma
(I just realised this post still said that the blog was gonna be ran by my sister lmao)
***
In character info:
Cartman's speech will look like this
Cartman's thoughts will look like this
(Anything said in character does not reflect on my ooc views or opinions)
What really happened between you and your cousin?
"Which cousin, I have more than one, dumbass."
You're cool with ocs?
This is my oc, he's Eric's asshole older half-brother/potentially full brother but they don't know who his dad is.
Yess I fw ocs!! Ocs are awesome!
That's cool as shit my guy
Are you dating anyone >_>
"I'm too much of an alpha male to get tied down by a relationship."
I hope you’re a mamas boy Cartman because what other choice do you have?
"I'll kill both your parents and leave you an orphan and then you'll have no choices at all."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
"Say one more thing about him, I fucking dare you."
"Just one? If you know him well enough to be gay for him, then I guess you already know he's a fucking baby who pisses the bed, so there's no point in me saying that..."
*Pauses with the most evil smile on his face*
"Ooh, look how angry you are, you must be really gay for him, you must love him, how sweet... But, before you do anything to me, I just want to let you know that if you do I'll just show his dad proof that Declan is even more of a faggy disappointment than he thought. I wonder what'd happen if I did that? Maybe he'd get sent away to one of those gay camps like Butters did."
"How about I get you sent away? But your trip's gonna be spent in a body bag on the way to the morgue. Because if you say one word to Cian, that rat bastard... I will personally break each rib in your body, watch you wheeze for breath, and count how many hits with a bat it'll take to collapse your lungs."
"I won't have to tell Cian anything as long as you keep your gay hands off me... You know you don't have a chance with him, right? Him and his tranny boyfriend are gayer than Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig combined."
"...fuck you, you fat prick."
*He was about to throw a punch, but Niamh held him back.*
"I'll fucking kill you."
"Of course you're threatening a white guy, tch, typical minorities."
"You're only a majority because you ate the rest of the fucking pie chart!"
"EY- ooh pot pie... I mean, EY FUCK YOU!"
"Yeah, you would wanna fuck me, FAGGOT."
"I'm not gay, but you definitely are. I have no problems with gay people, but seriously? Declan? That's who you wanna be gay with?"
*Begining to walk away*
"I meant what I said, touch me and I'm telling his dad that he's a faggot with a tranny boyfriend."
"KILL YOURSELF!"
*Sighing gleefully as he walks away, pulling his phone out to text his mom*
"Make me a pot pie for dinner or I'm calling cps again."
What's your favourite minority?
"I don't have a favorite minority, what type of gay ass hippie question is that?"
Cartman, could i ask you a question?
Imma ask anyway,
See I've been looking at Tumblr and I've seen some interesting pictures of you and Kyle-
Hey, Cartman, i found u! ❤️ :]
"Any picture of me and the joo is photoshopped or ai generated."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
"Say one more thing about him, I fucking dare you."
"Just one? If you know him well enough to be gay for him, then I guess you already know he's a fucking baby who pisses the bed, so there's no point in me saying that..."
*Pauses with the most evil smile on his face*
"Ooh, look how angry you are, you must be really gay for him, you must love him, how sweet... But, before you do anything to me, I just want to let you know that if you do I'll just show his dad proof that Declan is even more of a faggy disappointment than he thought. I wonder what'd happen if I did that? Maybe he'd get sent away to one of those gay camps like Butters did."
"How about I get you sent away? But your trip's gonna be spent in a body bag on the way to the morgue. Because if you say one word to Cian, that rat bastard... I will personally break each rib in your body, watch you wheeze for breath, and count how many hits with a bat it'll take to collapse your lungs."
"I won't have to tell Cian anything as long as you keep your gay hands off me... You know you don't have a chance with him, right? Him and his tranny boyfriend are gayer than Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig combined."
"...fuck you, you fat prick."
*He was about to throw a punch, but Niamh held him back.*
"I'll fucking kill you."
"Of course you're threatening a white guy, tch, typical minorities."
"You're only a majority because you ate the rest of the fucking pie chart!"
"EY- ooh pot pie... I mean, EY FUCK YOU!"
"Yeah, you would wanna fuck me, FAGGOT."
"I'm not gay, but you definitely are. I have no problems with gay people, but seriously? Declan? That's who you wanna be gay with?"
*Begining to walk away*
"I meant what I said, touch me and I'm telling his dad that he's a faggot with a tranny boyfriend."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
"Say one more thing about him, I fucking dare you."
"Just one? If you know him well enough to be gay for him, then I guess you already know he's a fucking baby who pisses the bed, so there's no point in me saying that..."
*Pauses with the most evil smile on his face*
"Ooh, look how angry you are, you must be really gay for him, you must love him, how sweet... But, before you do anything to me, I just want to let you know that if you do I'll just show his dad proof that Declan is even more of a faggy disappointment than he thought. I wonder what'd happen if I did that? Maybe he'd get sent away to one of those gay camps like Butters did."
"How about I get you sent away? But your trip's gonna be spent in a body bag on the way to the morgue. Because if you say one word to Cian, that rat bastard... I will personally break each rib in your body, watch you wheeze for breath, and count how many hits with a bat it'll take to collapse your lungs."
"I won't have to tell Cian anything as long as you keep your gay hands off me... You know you don't have a chance with him, right? Him and his tranny boyfriend are gayer than Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig combined."
"...fuck you, you fat prick."
*He was about to throw a punch, but Niamh held him back.*
"I'll fucking kill you."
"Of course you're threatening a white guy, tch, typical minorities."
"You're only a majority because you ate the rest of the fucking pie chart!"
"EY- ooh pot pie... I mean, EY FUCK YOU!"
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
"Say one more thing about him, I fucking dare you."
"Just one? If you know him well enough to be gay for him, then I guess you already know he's a fucking baby who pisses the bed, so there's no point in me saying that..."
*Pauses with the most evil smile on his face*
"Ooh, look how angry you are, you must be really gay for him, you must love him, how sweet... But, before you do anything to me, I just want to let you know that if you do I'll just show his dad proof that Declan is even more of a faggy disappointment than he thought. I wonder what'd happen if I did that? Maybe he'd get sent away to one of those gay camps like Butters did."
"How about I get you sent away? But your trip's gonna be spent in a body bag on the way to the morgue. Because if you say one word to Cian, that rat bastard... I will personally break each rib in your body, watch you wheeze for breath, and count how many hits with a bat it'll take to collapse your lungs."
"I won't have to tell Cian anything as long as you keep your gay hands off me... You know you don't have a chance with him, right? Him and his tranny boyfriend are gayer than Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig combined."
"...fuck you, you fat prick."
*He was about to throw a punch, but Niamh held him back.*
"I'll fucking kill you."
"Of course you're threatening a white guy, tch, typical minorities."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
"Say one more thing about him, I fucking dare you."
"Just one? If you know him well enough to be gay for him, then I guess you already know he's a fucking baby who pisses the bed, so there's no point in me saying that..."
*Pauses with the most evil smile on his face*
"Ooh, look how angry you are, you must be really gay for him, you must love him, how sweet... But, before you do anything to me, I just want to let you know that if you do I'll just show his dad proof that Declan is even more of a faggy disappointment than he thought. I wonder what'd happen if I did that? Maybe he'd get sent away to one of those gay camps like Butters did."
"How about I get you sent away? But your trip's gonna be spent in a body bag on the way to the morgue. Because if you say one word to Cian, that rat bastard... I will personally break each rib in your body, watch you wheeze for breath, and count how many hits with a bat it'll take to collapse your lungs."
"I won't have to tell Cian anything as long as you keep your gay hands off me... You know you don't have a chance with him, right? Him and his tranny boyfriend are gayer than Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig combined."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
"Say one more thing about him, I fucking dare you."
"Just one? If you know him well enough to be gay for him, then I guess you already know he's a fucking baby who pisses the bed, so there's no point in me saying that..."
*Pauses with the most evil smile on his face*
"Ooh, look how angry you are, you must be really gay for him, you must love him, how sweet... But, before you do anything to me, I just want to let you know that if you do I'll just show his dad proof that Declan is even more of a faggy disappointment than he thought. I wonder what'd happen if I did that? Maybe he'd get sent away to one of those gay camps like Butters did."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
"I ain't your friend, you fat prick. And I swear to god, if you're talkin' 'bout who I think you're talkin' 'bout, I will beat your ass so hard you shit out last week's lunch through your mouth. Fecker."
"So you do all know each other. Sounds like you have a hard-on for him, sorry to break it to you but he's already got a faggy boyfriend... If you can even call it a boy."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
"It's called 'our parents had a biracial marriage'. Tch, stupid Americans..."
"Which little wuss you comparin' me to? 'Cause I ain't nuthin' like you Yankee feckers! I'm straight from the fucking streets, alright!? I'm tougher than you cunts could ever hope to be! 'Specially you, looking like a two hundred pound bowling ball."
*Ignoring all other things they're saying because he just wants to bitch about the little wuss*
"I thought all you Irish people knew each other. I suppose I could tell you guys about him, help you steer clear of the faggy little freak, you know, cause you people are my homies."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
"We're twins."
"And everyone has pronouns. I'd say get that through your thick skull, but I think it'd have to make its way through far too much fat to even get close to the skeletal layer to begon with. [Insert Hard-R here]."
"Twins? What, your mom's baby hole run out of ink?" *Half laugh-half scoff thing he does*
"I didn't know they made black Irish people... You, you look Irish, creepy ginger thing—ugh like that little wuss. You? You don't look Irish, you look like you have that foreign accent syndrome thing."
*Calls him the Hard-R.*
-@ace-of-spuds
*Slowly looking him up and down*
"As if I needed any more proof that woke is well and truly dead..."
*Niamh's black ass walks up and also calls him the Hard-R. They fist bump.*
"Why is black professor X fistbumping a typical blue-hair pronoun having ass in front of me right now? Shouldn't you be beating his ass for saying that word? I thought you people were really sensitive about that... Am I being pranked right now? Where are the cameras? Is that joo behind this? He's behind Hollywood so I wouldn't be surprised."
