かすみ

𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 : 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂.

[kasumies]

𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙳𝙾 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝙲𝙴𝚁𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙶𝙾 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙸𝙴? . . .

AN  INDEPENDENT  &  SELECTIVE  RENDITION  OF  MIWA KASUMI  AS  SEEN  IN  JUJUTSU KAISEN. this blog will not be consistently active. i have previously been on other anime - related blogs, such as @diutive and @brainwashe. i'm mostly here for the vibes.

. . . 𝙻𝙴𝚃'𝚂 𝚂𝙴𝙴!

the  roleplayer:     gray,   twenty  -  four,   they/them. rules  &  other  important  details:   here.   

[kasumies]

sometimes you have to think about buffy the vampire slayer!miwa and your character as their guardian/watcher. sometimes you have to think

[godvalleys]

one-liner call.⠀⠀/⠀⠀accepting.

“he died doing what he wanted, no matter what, right, @kasumies? i bet he was happy.”

[kasumies]

the air around them is cold for spring. kasumi wraps her jacket tighter around her body, trying to brace against the whip of wind and the gentle brutality of his voice. behind them, convenience store lights flicker, the shop still alive with student chatter. normal students, ones that never have to talk about life or death around a mouthful of pork bun. " he was very brave, " she whispers. whatever else she wants to say is swallowed by a wet hiccup and a final coffin - tight slam of tears.

[notmorbid]

sunburn.

dialogue prompts from sunburn by chloe michelle howarth.

i am at a very tricky age.

feeling adult was everything to me.

i function far better with you than without you.

you're so cute. everybody likes you.

you're always looking at me like you hate me.

i want you to feel understood.

the silence says a lot.

i've never known a person like you.

it was easiest just to hate _____.

i suppose it's nice to live somewhere quiet.

stories carry weight, even when nobody really believes them.

being busy isn't the same as being satisfied.

you're not as harsh as you seem.

i need to stop acting my age and grow up.

i wouldn't make sense without _____. i might not even exist.

i pretend so well, i almost believe myself.

we all have secrets. everybody is hiding something.

there is no more room for grey areas.

sometimes i just hear what i want to hear.

do you even realize all the things people say about us?

it was a human mistake.

all i want is to avoid how i feel.

i can't say the things you deserve to hear.

i would like you to know me authentically.

you could do worse. you have.

you belong everywhere you go.

what a wonderfully big heart you have.

you are just so easy to look at.

the way i feel about _____ isn't the way i feel about anyone else.

i've always seen what i want to see.

i like you. that's all.

i can't believe you stood up for me.

do i even have the right to be angry?

in every life but this one, we would probably be together.

you are such a cure.

this is no time to be afraid.

why won't you look at me?

if you want me, i'm yours.

i used to stare at your mouth so much.

i don't know if i've ever felt so secure with another person. with myself.

i didn't realize this feeling existed. i didn't realize how badly i needed to feel it.

it just felt so good to know you were there.

a few minutes of you would really be enough to keep me going for years.

i don't know where you end and [name] begins.

i didn't realize i was ever unhappy until you made me this happy.

just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't happening.

normalcy is something i can't afford.

be honest: how long did you fancy me before we got together?

it costs nothing to be nice. that's what ____ says.

chaos always begins with peace.

i need to get out of this house.

when are you going to grow up?

you look unreal in [color].

there's nothing to do now but hide and wait.

i love you a lot more than i know how to say.

it's easy to be a hero when you're not around enough to be a villain.

it feels so good to hug you again.

we both have parts to play.

it might be nice if we didn't talk tonight.

i don't want to be anybody's ____. i want to be my own person.

do you want to be safe and secure, or do you want to be happy?

sometimes the best thing to do is the hardest.

i know what loving you can do to a person.

you're so amazing. i don't tell you often enough.

you deserve all the love in the world.

i'll look after you, and you'll look after me.

i'd never be safer with anybody else.

darling, please stop talking.

can we just be happy for a few days, then?

for a little while, it really was bliss.

you have been wonderful all your life.

it's nice to see some life in you.

i'd like to clean the house for you. make you dinner.

i can't wait any longer for you to be brave.

you've existed without me before. you could do it again.

i've seen what being motherless can do to a person.

you are the first and last thing i want, but you are not the only thing.

why are you making small talk with me?

even when there's nothing there, it's so hard to go.

i'm so tired of disappointing you.

i've actually never done this.

i was trying to be another person.

don't rush to figure yourself out.

i've decided never to fall in love again.

i always let myself go too far.

i was always endlessly impressed by you.

before today, i was doing really well.

not everything is a symbol.

i ought to feel guilty, but i don't.

you are the sun. you always have been.

i don't even have the same heart anymore.

you wouldn't love me if you knew me now.

hate me, if you want to hate me. i'd love the attention.

all ____ ever wanted was to disappear.

i wish it was different. i wish i was different.

it is so strange to be home.

[kasumies]

ok i miss miwa time 2 come back. baby girl lovers unite

[kasumies]

started watching chainsaw man.

[untoldwithin]

Continued from here. Kokichi Muta and Kasumi Miwa　一　 @kasumies

　　the shine of the stars is condemning, and the hum on the wind whispers what he already knows ; that he's already grated himself broken against the grains of fate. what are the higher ups going to decide? they seem indecisive, scrambling to keep his heart beating at the infirmary, with the intention to stop it again eventually.　( which he assumes is what they intend, probably after extracting any remaining use from him. ) 　maybe they wanted to inspect the anomaly that he is now -- flesh manipulated by cursed energy to resemble a man.　( who knows how functional this construct turns out to be, whether it was built to self-destruct. )

his reply is simple.　" no. "　still a product of his prior existence, words are scarce, optimized to a fault, despite the burning desire to wipe all that away and start from a blank slate, as a human, like he was always meant to. miwa's question is expected, because he's under orders not to exit the main building, but does it matter what he does if the end goal is his demise? there's a sort of ultimatum in his voice, something he can't quite hide because he's so unversed in the instrument of the organic body.

mahito had told him that he's lower than scum. he was right -- the curse-entity is made of the purest compounds compared to himself, shining with a twisted but blinding integrity that stretches his own shadow impossibly far. he has betrayed everything that once gave off any light within him ; the desire to be with everyone ensured that he never can, the desire to live lost him the right to. heroic is a word the heavens themselves keep apart from him now.

he's nevertheless decided on a few things.　he's a fugitive now, honorless and inhuman -- but the beat of his heart feels so good that it drowns out the guilt. the grass beneath his feet, the blush on his cheeks, miwa's voice -- he's numb to regret, like scum. she's alive, it's all that matters. he's lost the right to protect her, but she's alive, and he's still in the same world with her. even if she'll hate him for the rest of time, he wants to live to know it. whether that's love or selfishness, the scum can't tell. the scum has decided he'll live, no matter what. his parents are out there, and so are all the things he missed out on in the years spent in darkness and bandages.

his message haunts the silence between them, undiscussed like a terrible secret, the hum of a train's engine lingering between the words.

　　I survived, but I'm dying. I made a mistake because I'm weak. and I couldn't go through with that mistake, because I'm weak.

　　there was someone I loved.

　　no matter how you do it, if you're happy, my wish will have come true.

there isn't anything he has the right to say anymore.　strange, how he always dreamt to be in the same space with miwa like this, to talk to her, how the mere idea kept him fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. whatever words he chooses now, they're cursed to be selfish and cowardly, and the silence is audacious. he doesn't want to curse her any more than he already has, but he's too weak to resist his desire to be in her presence. leave before they see you with me, he wants to say, but can't.

the scum surrenders to the standstill, lowering himself to lay on the ground, spiting it with his yet-beating heart. he got out of the chamber, but he's wholly unchanged, a living husk that insults fate.

[kasumies]

they have not told her what they plan to do with him. she is not deemed important enough to know ( even among the other sorcerers, she has always known her place : this is what makes her such a valuable asset ). she can guess, though. he has been branded a traitor, working against them in order to aid a curse as malicious as mahito. there's really only one option. she has never been naive to the world, hope has not laid its blessing against the tender nape of her neck. they'll kill him. every moment before his death would be just an exercise in bureaucracy, ensuring their checks were balanced before the executioner's blade landed.

she wonders briefly who will kill him. she doesn't know of many people who are stronger than mechamaru [ it feels like some unspoken sin to still refer to him by that name when a boy stands in front of her -- not a hollow husk of a human, wires and metal and an unblinking heart ]. she wonders if he will die willingly or if they will hunt him down. she won't ask. anything that she knows will be used against them both : she doesn't think she's brave enough to protect him if push comes to shove. she recalls his voice in her ear, the warmth of him in her hands. she's never been made of the steel he was once forged from.

" oh, " is the whole of her reply for at least a solid beat. she sits beside him on the ground because there is nothing else to do ( or because the other options are too cruel : she can scream for them to come get him or she can walk away . . . all of those options feel too callous for the quiet of the night ). he lays down and the urge to play with his hair is almost overpowering. this is his hair. this is his face. this is mechamaru without the suit of armour. despite it all, he still looks so strong. she can feel the energy overspilling from him. her teeth clamp against her tongue in jealousy. what does she have to be jealous of? he is still, by any measure, a dying boy. this death will just come at the hands of the sorcerers ( she hopes it is not utahime : she will never be able to look at her sensei the same again ).

the night stretches on, an endless yawn. she feels a certain tiredness twinge behind her eyes, but she does not yet leave. she listens to him breathe. breathe, not rumble. it is strange to miss the sounds of a machine, she knows, but she has listened to him every day in class beside her, and that is what is most familiar to her. she listens, too, for approaching footsteps -- she is thankful when she is met with silence. no one is looking for him yet. still, she cannot help but feel that their time is limited in some strange way, like this moment will collapse in on itself if it is enjoyed too thoroughly. " you should leave. " miwa does not break rules. she is given orders and she follows them out. when she is allowed to take on a mission, she does not deviate from whatever plan is set out for her. she does as she is told, that's what utahime says. she is a good sorcerer, albeit not a very talented one. and yet . . . " before anyone can notice you're missing, you should . . . " she cannot form the words again. already, they feel like some aching betrayal. " i don't want to see you get hurt. "

[kasumies]

Surreal, all of it, like a film come to life. Airy strands swaying against his skin, soft grass beneath his bare feet ; Kokichi sits outside in the night, his first night out of the infirmary after surviving the fight with Mahito. His attention is diverted by approaching steps, and Miwa's pale hair, such a deep blue in the warm night, gives her away. His cheeks burn, and it feels so strange -- similar to the prickly sensation he's known all his life, but so pleasant.

" Oh. Miwa. I thought you'd be sleeping already, since it's really late. "

一　Kokichi to Miwa

the night is warm, a beckoning hand wrapped tight against shoulders that tremble out of instinct ( kasumi has always been very good at feeling what she is expected to feel, regardless of if her experience fits the truth of the world ). she cannot sleep 一　she has forgotten how. the shape of it escapes her. she cannot imagine many of them are sleeping ; those that have managed to steal away an hour or two will no doubt wake with a guilty fright. the tragedy of shibuya has reached this place : though no one will say it to her face, her cowardice is a shining scar across her very soul. she ran. she has not told the others about mechamaru's voice in her ear, fading and small, a whisper and a plea ( even if he lives, he does so as a traitor, and she does not wish to hand them more ammunition : besides, that moment together deserves to be kept private, at least for now ).

when she cannot sleep, she wanders. utahime - sensei despises this. it's not safe, she reminds, over and over again, as if the well - worn nature of the plea will somehow make it holy. or, at least, make it heard. though kasumi has been good at following orders all her life, this is the one act of rebellion she allows herself. she wanders. of course it's not long before she runs into him ( perhaps she has been hoping for this 一　hope is not a feeling she grants herself easily, not like misery or worry, but it has come to light inside of her seemingly without her permission ). " it's really late, " she agrees. there is a long pause where she stands apart from him, a little too far for comfortable conversation. her hands are folded in front of her, a gesture her mother had always called polite. utahime - sensei teased her often and said it made her look like an old lady. " does anyone know you're outside? "

[hanakokyu]

❝   i suppose you could say work.   ❞ busy streets much different than the quiet hillsides she frequents: the world here is loud, echoes of life down every dumpster lined alleyway. IT MAKES HER MISS THE CREATED CHAOS OF THE BUTTERFLY ESTATE. her sisters, love them as much as she did, sure did have a track record of chaos. [ she had just managed to get two of her newest housed to stop bickering, the halls growing quiet, a growing unease in her. ] a hum under her breath, in tune with the wind whistling through the treetops, the mechanical buzzing of street lamps. ❝   though, a lot of it is for my own curiosities.   ❞

[kasumies]

i suppose. it is tantalizing in its vagueness, almost deliciously kept from her. she has always been good at minding her business: that, coupled with the rather obvious desperation that bleeds into everything she does, is the reason they keep giving her missions ( if she were powerful like the others, maybe they'd give her more to do . . . but she will deal with the lower beasts if it keeps her family's pockets full ). there is the noise of some fly trapped in a light above. miwa glances up at it, but doesn't have the energy to play savior to some creature tonight. " and what makes you so curious? curious enough to come all this way . . . "

[hanakokyu]

protect those who cannot protect themselves. a life lesson instilled by her father before his untimely demise: something kanae carries deep within her chest. WRAPPED ABOUT HER STERNUM LIKE A WEEDY VINE. you could pluck it, but it would just grow back with stronger roots. she settles into a nice pace beside her new companion, brisk in the face of their circumstances. [ she does not carry herself like a scared townsperson — lilac hues left searching for clues. ] she finds conversation instead. an easy, practiced smile. ❝   this is my first time in this area. i take it you're local?   ❞

[kasumies]

" something of a local. " this is not the place she has grown up, but it is the place that is kind enough to fill her pockets [ envy breaks open the calm cavern of her heart : if she were more like mechamaru, she'd be able to take missions that really made some money . . . instead, she is left as the watcher of the night, fighting whatever petty trouble stumbles into her path ]. " it's quite a busy place to just stumble into. what's brought you here? i suppose it must be the sights, like everyone else. we get so many tourists at this time of year. "

[ohisms]

↪ 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑂𝑅𝑌 ⅋ 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of syfy's the magicians . adjust phrasing as necessary . this prompt will be updated as time goes on . )

it's always something with you , isn't it ? it's always an emergency .

look , this is your responsibility .

wow , nice trick . i'm sure you're a hit at parties .

so ... you think you're ready .

i called you . all weekend . where were you ?

okay , we have got to pull you together .

you can't run away hard enough , can you ?

i know where you were all weekend .

life is raw , everybody medicates .

i love you . call me , okay ?

am i hallucinating ?

come on , or you'll miss it .

can i start over ? please .

i'm going to make sure you don't remember a thing .

playing with time is such difficult magic .

don't bother trying to compare yourself .

it's good to be aware the world is blatantly unfair .

it's my fault that they said that .

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

maybe i wouldn't let myself forget .

that was before i knew there was something else .

it's really okay if this is not your thing .

you're hurting yourself , & you're not okay .

i just needed to see if i was right .

we've been watching you for quite a while now .

hello ? do you need help ?

you feel right because you're starting towards your destiny .

for some reason , you're involved . so be involved .

look , hold that thought , okay ?

i'm obviously coming with you .

there's no such thing as safe magic .

what is this place exactly , besides a health hazard ?

you ask a lot of questions .

jesus , you didn't tell me you were dangerous .

it's a little bit bigger than messing up .

there's a bad story every few years around here .

can you just help me live with myself ?

i'm gonna tell you something deep & dark & personal now .

i'm trying to tell you , you are not alone here .

i don't know . i wanna be your friend , i guess .

you should hate me right now .

the last thing i wanted to do growing up was read fantasy .

let's just say life wasn't exactly non-stop fun growing up .

if you're guilty , i'm guilty .

come do something stupid with me before you go .

okay , you know what ? i'm not interested in your personal issues .

this isn't just some lark to me , just so you know .

i mean seriously , what do they expect , you know ?

look , you can't run away from you .

there's nothing i can do in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into the earth , is there ?

i keep trying to tell myself that this is somehow better .

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

you can't help , & i can't help you .

what the hell was that , you maniac ?

why would you ever trust anyone ?

i'm willing to teach the right people what i know . & i know a lot .

you're lucky i can fix this .

hey , have you heard of karma ? sometimes it's instant .

i'm generous with you , considering .

get me everything on this list . this week .

why even ask , if you'll just forget it again ?

that's not a real answer .

you're a much better liar than i expected you to be .

do you think you have a destiny ?

there is no destiny . no born heroes .

you can either step up to it or not , that's up to you .

this is your problem , that you should solve !

[hanakokyu]

kanae has nowhere in particular to be. she floats about the night like a petal on a stream, a feather on the air. SHE HOLDS HERSELF WITH AN UNCANNY CONFIDENCE UNDER PALE MOONLIGHT. [ they'd all seen the news paper headlines detailing the many people who go missing at night in these major cities. ] fears pushed aside for greater a cause: she orients herself in the direction the other had been traveling. ❝   after you, then.   ❞

[kasumies]

girls go missing in places like this, but it is not girls like them [ miwa takes no pride in the idea of being a warrior : despite this, she knows she can protect herself, & she knows she can protect this stranger ]. miwa has always known her strengths as well as her weaknesses, though she feels the latter will always be more deeply felt. ' do you come here often? '

[kasumies]

told one of my closest friends that i was rping miwa kasumi jjk on tumblr and they said 'who the fuck is miwa' which really put my girl into perspective huh

[kasumies]

' tuna tuna. ' ( toge. i am so serious )

she has not yet figured him out. she doesn't think anyone has. at first, she thought it was some elaborate joke that was being played on her ( todo enjoyed his jokes -- she has been subject to so many situations that have made her brain ache ). but his speech seems genuine, even when it makes her eyebrows knit together. would asking for a toge - specific dictionary be rude? she is sure his choices must mean something. she just can't fathom what each food could possibly mean [ to be a teenage girl is to accept that everyone else around you is speaking a different language, gifted to them by some strange power that miwa had never been able to access -- to be around toge is largely the same experience ].

' i'm sorry, ' she says, with a smile that does not reach her eyes. that is not toge's fault: she has not been graced with smile - kissed eyes since her baby brother had been born. she thinks there are curses given only to older sisters. sorcerers do not talk about these curses. her bag is tugged into her lap and she flicks through it, finding a page in her diary that has not been used. a pen is found next. it's not ideal, but neither is their situation. it is dark. they are lost. the woods smile at them, but the smile does not reach its eyes. ' would you write down what you mean? do you think we should stop heading north? '

[ohisms]

↪ 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑂𝑅𝑌 ⅋ 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of syfy's the magicians . adjust phrasing as necessary . this prompt will be updated as time goes on . )

it's always something with you , isn't it ? it's always an emergency .

look , this is your responsibility .

wow , nice trick . i'm sure you're a hit at parties .

so ... you think you're ready .

i called you . all weekend . where were you ?

okay , we have got to pull you together .

you can't run away hard enough , can you ?

i know where you were all weekend .

life is raw , everybody medicates .

i love you . call me , okay ?

am i hallucinating ?

come on , or you'll miss it .

can i start over ? please .

i'm going to make sure you don't remember a thing .

playing with time is such difficult magic .

don't bother trying to compare yourself .

it's good to be aware the world is blatantly unfair .

it's my fault that they said that .

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

maybe i wouldn't let myself forget .

that was before i knew there was something else .

it's really okay if this is not your thing .

you're hurting yourself , & you're not okay .

i just needed to see if i was right .

we've been watching you for quite a while now .

hello ? do you need help ?

you feel right because you're starting towards your destiny .

for some reason , you're involved . so be involved .

look , hold that thought , okay ?

i'm obviously coming with you .

there's no such thing as safe magic .

what is this place exactly , besides a health hazard ?

you ask a lot of questions .

jesus , you didn't tell me you were dangerous .

it's a little bit bigger than messing up .

there's a bad story every few years around here .

can you just help me live with myself ?

i'm gonna tell you something deep & dark & personal now .

i'm trying to tell you , you are not alone here .

i don't know . i wanna be your friend , i guess .

you should hate me right now .

the last thing i wanted to do growing up was read fantasy .

let's just say life wasn't exactly non-stop fun growing up .

if you're guilty , i'm guilty .

come do something stupid with me before you go .

okay , you know what ? i'm not interested in your personal issues .

this isn't just some lark to me , just so you know .

i mean seriously , what do they expect , you know ?

look , you can't run away from you .

there's nothing i can do in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into the earth , is there ?

i keep trying to tell myself that this is somehow better .

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

you can't help , & i can't help you .

what the hell was that , you maniac ?

why would you ever trust anyone ?

i'm willing to teach the right people what i know . & i know a lot .

you're lucky i can fix this .

hey , have you heard of karma ? sometimes it's instant .

i'm generous with you , considering .

get me everything on this list . this week .

why even ask , if you'll just forget it again ?

that's not a real answer .

you're a much better liar than i expected you to be .

do you think you have a destiny ?

there is no destiny . no born heroes .

you can either step up to it or not , that's up to you .

this is your problem , that you should solve !

[kasumies]

jjk ending in five chapters... enough time to get really into miwa kasumi's backstory huh

[kasumies]

giving miwa a small little cat to care for. she deserves it.