dialogue prompts from the fifth season of max's hacks.
it was all over the news that you went cuckoo.
i knew that social media detox was gonna bite me in the ass.
we should do a couples' costume for halloween.
what time is it? actually, what day is it?
i refuse to be remember on other people's terms.
that's right, it's me, i'm alive. it's hard, but it's worth it.
someone recently told me they thought i was autistic.
you can't write my memoir. you're too obsessed with me.
you don't understand how bad it got.
once i started learning about ____, i couldn't stop.
i'm not good at being direct with people.
'good cop' is kind of an oxymoron. fucking pigs.
i don't need a 'yes man', i need a 'no woman'. to ignore.
you no i can't take bribes.
_____ is mad lucky to have you.
i've never signed anything for anyone before.
the truth will set you free, baby doll.
it's your birthday. you deserve a party. a birthday party.
you're not wrong. you are my only friend.
'might'? oh, nothing says 'love' like a subjunctive verb.
i just can't picture you young.
you might want to avert your eyes. i'm gonna eat this really fast.
what's a cool app i can bring up?
are you saying cameron diaz has a green guy fetish?
i think you're really cute. do you want to get a drink sometime?
change 'dissociating' to 'reclining elegantly'.
here's my motto: if you don't disclose, i don't stick my nose.
i'd say 'get my good side', but i've paid to have them both be good.
thanks for the reality check.
i think there's a lot i could learn from you.
you've gotta stop asking people to marry you. it's a compulsion.
if you don't take risks, you're as good as dead.
cold brew is like sex: even when it's bad, i'm grateful.
e-mail's first base. the last person i e-mailed, i ended up fucking.
if you were there, you could have protected me.
i have a friend who has the mental troubles. it's rough stuff.
i wouldn't be a good third. my needs are too big.
i've been cuffed before, but it usually involved some boundaries and a safe word.
i'll just repress it. it'll make me funnier, in the long run.
i like the way you handle a top sheet.
you are not allowed to do a reality show.
don't monitor my sleep. it's private.
how did you find me? do you still have that pi following me?
go straight to hell. i'd never help you.
stop filming me. it's done. it's over.
you're kind of good at everything. it's super annoying.
i've never been good at failing and moving on.
i've only ever cared what one person thinks.
you are an evil bitch. i've never felt closer to you.
recently i've warmed up to the idea of falling flat on your face and embarrassing yourself.
everything's unethical if you think about it enough.
if you were a letter, what letter would you be?
i am up for a drinking game at all times.
do you have any klonopin up here? my heart is racing like a jackrabbit.
you know if you have caffeine this late, you don't sleep.
nobody really parties anymore.
let's maybe revisit this when our nervous systems have regulated.
i hate when we go to bed angry.
i just wish you wouldn't keep so many walls up, after all this time.
i shouldn't expect you to share every aspect of your life with me. i'm sorry i pushed.
i'm fine. but i knew you'd worry, so here's the doctor's e-mail.
i just don't like talking about everything all the time like you do.
you're a joke. a joke that i don't find funny.
if we ever get out of here, we need to take a vacation.
you do your best work when you're backed against a wall.
i've been trying so hard to not seem crazy.
you don't seem crazy. you are crazy.
when i'm hungry, my whole personality changes.
turns out, the doctor was a woman.
you gotta crash and burn before you can rise.
i couldn't have done this without you. any of this. thank you.
close your eyes. close them.
you know i like to do things on my own terms.
this is my favorite place in the world.
waiting in line is the most human experience of all.
what beguiles me would make you sick.
i hate this. but i'll support you.