Let's pretend this never happened.

I am Katie. I live in Brooklyn.

[kateceratops]

job hunting always sucks but it especially sucks for someone who has a, uh, a bit of a problem with "needing to feel in control of every situation"

because the job that felt like a sure thing 2 weeks ago ghosted me, 2 other opportunities totally disappeared and 2 others popped up out of nowhere, then I had a week of absolutely nothing, and then as of this morning I suddenly have 3 interviews next week

love to just sit around and wait for other people to make decisions!! it's my favorite!!!

[kateceratops]

fingers crossed for a position at Cornholio Creative

[kateceratops]

not to be too “when it rains, it pours” but since lining up a second interview next week I’ve also gotten an offer for a 3-month freelance project with a former partner, interviews with 2 places in LA through a headhunter and an interview with a dream client in NY through an old coworker

[kateceratops]

wake up early, high protein breakfast, dressed and prepped for kickboxing, running out the door, twist my leg to put on my socks, throw my back out, back in bed

[kateceratops]

spent the last few weeks doing some generic job apps for brands I’d want to work for and finally got off my ass this morning to email some friends in the ad world to ask about jobs

and one immediately goes “oh I’m sitting right next to [one of the best creative minds in advertising of the past 20 years], I’ll show him your portfolio”

[kateceratops]

not one but TWO interviews with this place tomorrow 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[kateceratops]

I now have an interview with HIM in two weeks

[kateceratops]

yesterday I was pretty depressed and laid in bed for 3 hours after I woke up and when I finally got myself up and dressed and left the apartment to go for a walk, I ended up in the middle of a huge street fair where I walked around for hours until I got sunburned

and that’s what I mean when I say I don’t know if I can ever leave New York

[kateceratops]

switched out all my small and medium clothes to my big clothes this weekend and have been hunting for months for new jeans, shorts, swimsuits and bras, since I’m at my biggest size since 2019.

I’ve been on diets and exercise programs since I was 11 and can safely say I’ve tried everything and the only things that work are the keto diet or a glp-1, neither of which you can do when you’re trying to get pregnant

(“cutting calories and exercising more” is a non-starter, I’ve tried it dozens of times. I’m a petite woman and in order to eat as little or work out as much as my body requires to lose weight, I have to be hungry all the time. I am absolutely suicidally miserable when I’m hungry.)

I am the saddest I’ve ever been in my body, one year after being the happiest I’ve ever been in my body. funny how things work.

[kateceratops]

yesterday I had a doctors appointment in soho near my old office and it was such a beautiful day that I was like fuck it. I’ll walk home. and I ended up walking 5.5 miles to Prospect Park and greeting G at the end of his 5k race with a Pocari Sweat and some Hi-Chews before we went out to ramen and then our local bar to watch a World Cup match. I hate unemployment but god do I love unemployment.

[kateceratops]

spent the last few weeks doing some generic job apps for brands I’d want to work for and finally got off my ass this morning to email some friends in the ad world to ask about jobs

and one immediately goes “oh I’m sitting right next to [one of the best creative minds in advertising of the past 20 years], I’ll show him your portfolio”

[kateceratops]

not one but TWO interviews with this place tomorrow 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[kateceratops]

updates

yes, New York City has been as fun as it looks these past few weeks

but also thank god the Knicks won in 5 because my liver could not take much more

the only game of the finals we watched at a bar was game 3 (the one they lost), so on Saturday when we spent 90 minutes walking to every. single. bar. in our neighborhood trying to find one that had even a few inches of standing room and eventually gave up and watched it from home... I'm not saying we caused the win buuuuut

it has now been 6 weeks of "I gotta start reaching out about jobs because G is unemployed too and it might take forever for me to find something new and we're trying to get pregnant and what if we run out of money and die" versus "I got 16 weeks severance, it's summertime in New York and we have savings and unprecedented time off, fuck it we ball"

watching Mad Men for the first time since before ad school (14 years ago!) and I am enjoying the hell out of pausing every 5 minutes to explain to G who Bill Bernbach was or why it's weird for media to be in that meeting

I married a soccer fan which means the next month of my life is just World Cup. on tv. all day. every day. you chose this, Katie. you made your vows.

[kateceratops]

spent the last few weeks doing some generic job apps for brands I’d want to work for and finally got off my ass this morning to email some friends in the ad world to ask about jobs

and one immediately goes “oh I’m sitting right next to [one of the best creative minds in advertising of the past 20 years], I’ll show him your portfolio”

[kateceratops]

I do love my Saturdays though. for 5 years it’s been the most routine day of my week: up early, Trader Joe’s whole milk honey Greek yogurt + pre-workout, subway, kickboxing class with Martin, stop by to check the Goodwill racks, subway, eat the egg and cheese bagel G picked up for me on his way back from his long weekend run, everything shower, soak my achy legs in epsom salts, lie in bed groaning about how tired and sore I am from kickboxing, order in dinner

[kateceratops]

on the one hand, I’ve saved 30-50% of my income for the past 5 years, and I got a 16 week severance check, which when added to my emergency fund will cover 6+ months of expenses

on the other hand, husband hasn’t had a job since January 2025, and we’re trying to have a baby in one of the most expensive places in the world to have a baby

I just need someone to tell me exactly how much to panic so I stop panicking too much and then not enough and then too much again

[kateceratops]

therapist whispered “jesus” twice this morning when I described the details of how I was laid off so I feel a little less crazy thinking it was insanely cold and impersonal

almost 4 weeks and I am still not doing too good

[kateceratops]

I was in a constant state of panic when I had a job but you’re never gonna guess what I’m like without a job

[kateceratops]

after you get laid off it’s important to get out of the house and start spending as much money as possible

[kateceratops]

layoff rants:

1. they said they’d get in touch about when I could come get my desk stuff but after hearing zip for a week I emailed facilities. they were like “oh no problem, we’ll mail it to you!” small problem: my desk is locked, and the key is at home, because the people who sat near me at work stole my chargers so often I had to start locking up at night. yeah. and I wasn’t super fond of the idea of them going through my stuff without me anyway, considering I have 8.5 years of personal notes and hoarded snacks in there.

2. I was surprised that I was laid off but absolutely shocked at some of the others who were let go. the AD partner I’ve worked with for the past year - who is incredibly talented, clients love him, he took a pay cut AND a title cut to work here - also got laid off right after he got back from vacation last week. I’m worried about my other AD, who I worked with for 10 years and who is currently one month into mat leave, getting laid off when she gets back, too. they seem to be axing anyone who’s been there more than 5 years.

3. I have a job interview tomorrow (it was in the works before the layoff) and it’s a great position at a great agency, I’m nervous as hell, but I hope that if I do get it they don’t want me immediately. once my severance kicks in I’ll be ok financially for a while (even with an 18-months-unemployed husband) and I just feel like I need a break.

4. I keep thinking - even though I’ve heard it said so many times “your job does not care about you” - I still, deep down, expected something, anything, even the barest acknowledgment in return for the late nights, the weekends, participating in employee resource groups, barely taking vacations, being one of the only regulars in the office since they started asking people to come back in 2021, getting stellar employee reviews every single year, being the one people said they trusted on projects with bad budgets and fast deadlines, covering projects that weren’t mine, never negotiating my raises no matter how paltry they were, and just generally being a loyal employee. but 8.5 years of all that and I’m laid off and forgotten within a week.