Light Heart. Strong Spirit. Reckless Dreams

 

[amourstreetstyle]

[divaa-at-heart]

[thecountryfucker-deactivated202]

[mud-caked]

they’re girlfriends

[lmm-43]

When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.

[theclassyissue]

[larsensotelo]

[brandsilva]

[liekeland]

www.liekeland.nl

[markhamandwest]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMc2vMnBipQ/

[everythingstarstuff]

[freshtattoo]

Thai inspired tiger on shin! Thanks @briarconrey… https://ift.tt/3jEWfy6

[emmamartschinke]

[katesbechilling]

I just realized. Literally just realized I have been making a grave mistake. This isn’t anything like the movies where you can see and hear and feel the main characters trifles course through your body like they are your own. This is a trifle of being. A way of action that has slowly crept into every crevasse of my body and filled these cracks undenounced to me... and I accepted them as full. But I am not full. That is the mistake you see. 

You see, I was told my aura is small barely wanting to be seen. And not that that is crazy or shocking. I don’t like attention. I don’t crave telling stories that let people know who I am. I can’t tell people who I am. That is what I fear. Rejection. So... I have unintentionally decided to do everything unintentionally. And it is in this unintentionality that I have become. Me. And yes I am flowy from this unintentionality and versatile and can please oh so many. BUT I don’t know what it looks like to please me. I don’t know what it is like to know me. I don’t know what it is like to state this is what I want and work. To go after it. 

This is where it gets hard to process. Like I know parts of me. I know a lot about me. I just don’t know how to share it. I don’t know how to be consistent with myself... I think because I want to please people. I can’t handle rejection and I don’t think I am good enough on my own so I have to shape shift for others. And I have been doing this for so long that I have become shapes I don’t know. I have missed shapes that fit and jammed shapes in that don’t. BUT really. I can shape shift into whatever others need me to be. I match their energy but I don’t know what my energy feels like arounds others. I take in others energy instead. And I know now they can feel it. I have my own energy. I have my own capabilities. I can become everything that I want. I just want my own fucking energy. My own person. 

[katesbechilling]

The mariposa is a creature that roams the world connecting lands and cultures and people and spirits. She embodies change and she inspires transformation. She connects the living with the spiritual realm through dreams and through her presence. She migrates, we all migrate by the thousands from North America  south to Mexico. She is laid on those who sleep to bring peace and prosperity. And she continues on her journey where this story first takes hold. 

You see, through all her travels she has learned great things and she has met interesting people and she has heard stories past down from her generations. Her life small but her purpose light following her intuition guided internally by the sun, pushed and pulled by the wind.  

Mariposas first came to be from our Pueblo tribe. The elder brother connector of the spirits... He took some blue from the sky, and some whiteness from the cornmeal. He gathered some spots of sunlight, and the beautiful blackness of a  woman’s hair. He took the yellow of the falling leaves, and the green of the pine needles. He gathered the red, the purple, and the orange from the flowers. As He gathered these things, He put them into His bag. And when he opened the bag we mariposas flew out silently. The tribe in awe. 

Me, I am part of the Methuselah generation. I arrive west of Mexico City just as the Día de Muertos celebration starts. It is said that me and my fellow mariposas signal this tradition. We are floating our way south now so I don’t know what to expect. Something inside me tells me it is grand. 

[katesbechilling]

Just Dance

I hate the song Just Dance. And Lady Gaga. And almost all of her songs. Or maybe it's her voice. Or the way she only tattoos half of her body so that her parents can at least love the other half of her. And her name god damnit. Lady Gaga. Baby Gaga would make more sense. But fuck it if she asked me. I would have told her straight up Lady Gaga was best anyways. It just doesn’t make any god damn sense. Turns out her manager came up with the name. Anyways... spin that record babe, da da doo-doo. See makes no fucking sense.

Everyone loves that movie she made about her life. All I see is her acting like a child. Everything being decided for her. She thinks she has choice but really I see it in her face. She wants to act like everything she does is important but she knows it's not. I see it in her face. Actually, I think I’m talking about the documentary.. but it doesn’t matter. I really haven’t seen either or. Maybe that’s just her fucking face? 

Poker Face is another song that I hate. It was her first #1 hit you know. But I really can’t see why anyone loves that song. Again, it makes no fucking sense. Is the song about sex? Is it about poker? Or is she just hiding herself behind her face kinda like her tattoos.. or her costumes? or her name? I think that’s why I stopped watching her documentary after the first 5 minutes. Not because I don’t really like her. I mean I don’t really know her. It’s just that she has ALL this life and ALL this sadness. Like she is looking for the crowd to tell her who she is. And they always scream back Lady Gaga. So she listens. Makes no fucking sense to me. 

I know it sounds like I give a whole lot of shits about Lady Gaga but I don’t. I mean, she barely crosses my mind except when her songs sound like nails on a chalk board playing on the radio. That’s when I really think about her the most. Other than that, she barely crosses my mind.

That must be the thing about being a pop star or having success in any shape. You don’t know if you did it for you or for them. And you surely don’t understand which one is worse until you’re there and it’s not like you can go back and change your decisions so you change yourself instead. You fit yourself to the illusion you decide to make.

And if you can’t.. you just dance.

Either way, you still have to make sense of all the meaning. And the meaning never makes any sense.

I really don’t mind Lady Gaga. It's just she tells me to pretend I am not drunk like that's not dangerous, she didn't tattoo her whole body like she said she wanted to, and she thinks the best way to get what she wants is by hiding herself and her intentions. But I think she realized she lost herself like her phone and her keys and she just danced anyways.

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo. It makes no sense.

That’s why I like Beyonce more. She’s actually a queen you know... 

[katesbechilling]

Loving and Sleeping

one would say... it has been a while. yes. But have you counted the hairs on your lovers skin. Have you unapologetically shoved your face into her mouth until the only words she could speak were yours. Have you felt her heart race from across the room knowing every step you take towards her, it calms. The sight of you physically moves blood through her body faster, coursing. Knocked from pace. Until your eyes unlock and your arms brush and then squeeze. And she doesn’t kiss you. Oh, she wants to. But she doesn’t because she knows your heart and that’s enough. She knows. Oh, she knows.

She knows a kiss turns to shivers in front of others. She knows you need to dance across the room for hours before you will even consider going home. She knows just the timing to pop up and say, hey baby! As she tells the story you were just telling. Way better. With pauses. And breaks. And glances. And laughter. Deep belly laughter. She knows when you’re drinking too much so she picks you up and carries you home... And makes you grilled cheese because she knows you won’t drink water no matter how hard she tries to persuade. You kiss her now all over her face as you both eat grilled cheese on the floor. The only expectable place to eat food in this drunken state. Oh, she knows.

You fall asleep wrapped in each others arms. 

But that’s the thing about being loved even when you sleep... It is easy to forget. Oh, it is easy to forget. 

One would say... it has been a while. Yes.

But I will not forget.

Oh, but she wants to. Oh, but she knows. Oh, but it is easy to forget.