Destiel Fanfic - All My Love
Dean climbs into the impala with a happy sigh. He’s made it to heaven, and it’s ‘the heaven he deserves’ according to Bobby who he’s just got done talking to.
Bobby had said a lot of things. He said that Rufus was in heaven with Oretha, and his parents had made it as well–which Dean has mixed feelings about. He knows he’ll want to see them eventually but his relationship with his John and Mary is so complicated. A younger version of himself would have longed to be able to see his parents and soak in that feeling of family, but he has a new family now.
His new family is on his mind. Jack has rebuilt heaven and Cas helped him do it. When Bobby mentioned that Cas was still alive, Dean was overcome with relief and probably grinning like an idiot, but he didn’t care. He’d spent weeks drinking heavily and losing sleep, overwhelmed by Castiel’s confession and his subsequent banishment to the empty. He’d thought he’d lost his friend for good this time. To know that Cas has somehow been freed is enough to make Dean forget why he’s in heaven in the first place.
As soon as Dean closes the car door behind him he opens the glove compartment on the passenger side to browse through his cassette tape collection. He flicks past Kansas and Warrant, and then something catches his eye. One of the tapes has been flipped so the label is facing downwards. He flips it over and reads it.
Dean’s Top 13 Zeppelin Traxx
He feels a fluttering in his chest and his cheeks burn. It’s the tape he made for Cas a few years ago when he wanted to tell him how he was feeling but couldn’t manage to put it into words. It has all of Dean’s favorite songs because he wanted Cas to listen to them and know how Dean felt when they spent time together.
At the time he convinced himself that’s what anyone would do for their best friend. He’d never had someone to call a best friend until he met Cas, so he had nothing to compare it to. It was always just him and his brother–who he might have called a best friend in another universe, one where Dean didn’t have to be Sam’s father and mother and brother all at the same time. Dean had always seen it as his responsibility to keep Sam safe, along with the rest of the world.
When it was just Dean and Cas alone watching movies, or cooking, or even driving around in the impala, that was the only time when Dean felt the weight of it all fall off his shoulders. Cas is Dean’s best friend–but now Dean knows he’s more than that.
Looking down at the tape in his hand he smiles. It dawns on him that Cas designed this heaven, so he must have purposely put the tape here for Dean to find. He wanted Dean to be in paradise and have his favorite songs. He puts the tape in the port and starts the car, chuckling to himself as Stairway to Heaven begins playing.
He pulls out of the dirt driveway and onto the main road. He doesn’t have a destination in mind; he just wants to let the music carry him away. He drives through a tunnel of tall trees where only small specks of sunlight peek through the cracks in the branches. They dance like sparks on the car’s windshield. Dean taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music and hums softly.
Ahead he sees a clearing where the sky is clear and there are mountains in the distance. The song finally comes to an end as he pulls off to the side of the road. All My Love floods the car speakers. He shakes his head and laughs. Why would he ever put this song on a mixtape for someone who was ‘just a friend’?
“Cas,” he whispers before he can talk himself out of it. “Cas, buddy, come down here please.”
The air stirs and there a flapping of wings, and suddenly the angel is sitting in the passenger seat of the impala.
Dean beams, “you’re really here. You’re safe!”
Cas turns his head toward Dean but he seems to be finding it difficult to make eye contact.
“You found the tape?” he finally asks.
“Yes,” Dean replies, trying to catch the angel’s gaze. “That was supposed to be for you to keep, remember?”
“Oh–I thought,” Cas pauses. “I thought you would want it back, especially after–”
Cas doesn’t respond, he just looks to the floor of the car at his shoes.
“Oh” Dean realizes what Cas is referring to. After Cas confessed his feelings Dean never got the chance to reciprocate. He just assumed that Cas knew what he was thinking at all times, but maybe there’s a chance he doesn’t know how Dean feels about him.
“Cas,” he whispers, cupping the angel’s face and manually turning his head so he had no choice but to face Dean.
“Yes, Dean?” The angel’s voice is shaky and unsure but his eyes search the hunter’s face with longing.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt sooner. I thought you already knew and you didn’t reciprocate, and then you told me you loved me and you were gone so fast, I didn’t have the time to react.”
“What are you saying?” Cas’ blue eyes are wide.
“What you said about wanting something you could never have… if I understood you correctly, if what you want is me, you can have it.”
Cas’ cheeks turn bright red and Dean’s eyes feel wet with tears. He leans forward until their noses are brushed up against each other, savoring the wide-eyed look on Cas’ face before closing his eyes and pressing their lips together.
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