Almost Done: 30 Things This Year Has Taught Me
My program as a Cultural Representative at Disney is almost over, the finish line is coming closer and closer and as sad as itās gonna be to have to say goodbye to the people Iāve been close to here, I have to admit I am ready and more than excited to finally return home after a year away from home. Plus, Iām pretty sure itās not gonna be the last time Iāve seen them around.
I canāt even begin to put my feelings into words. I remember writing the posts about how I felt before I left and about coming to live in a country I barely knew. Thank god my best friend @ladyarrowhead came here with me for this adventure! I really donāt know what I would have done without you here! Thank you for being the best friend I could ask for and thatās something I donāt wanna take for granted. Youāre awesome, even if you start doubting yourself from time to time. It doesnāt change that you have a heart of gold and Iām incredibly lucky to have such a funny (even the bad puns - who am I kidding... ESPECIALLY the bad puns!), smart, witty and compassionate girl in my life! Weāve known each other for 13 years now and I guess itās true what they say: After such a long time we are not only friends, we are family.
I lived with 5 other girls in this apartment, where we ordered pizza, McDonalds, played games, practiced opening wine bottles for the server test and ended up with way too many open bottles (oh I still remember the headache the next day!), we watched movies and stayed up late to talk to each other. I know Iām gonna miss this. And I was incredibly lucky to get to know them. Right now while Iām starting to write this I still have about four weeks left, which is probably the reason Iām not crying on the floor right now. I will take my time writing this, because I donāt wanna rush it as this is something very important to me. The reason I came here is to learn, try something new, to see a new side of myself, grow as a person and get out of my little shell. This post is gonna be my reflection of things I know I learned and maybe things that come to my mind while writing this. I also want it to be a reminder for myself, something that while reading makes me be proud of myself, of what I accomplished and makes me relive some of those precious memories that Iāve made.
Before I come to the main part here, there is another girl I wanna say thank you to. From the bottom of my heart. Yes, Iām looking at you @lena-maureen! I would have never thought that a simple question in a facebook group would lead me to finding this amazing friend, Iāve been talking to months before I started this program and finally got to meet here. I remember seeing you in person for the first time and it wasnāt awkward for a second! Just as we had known each other for years. And it hasnāt changed since. You are so very important to me and I am so so thankful to get to call you my friend. I know you doubt yourself too, I know you can be very insecure but donāt like to show it, I know you can be bossy and I know that you are such a strong person who fights for her friends and family until the end. Anybody who doesnāt see that is a fool. So thank you for letting me call you my friend! Truly!
Okay there are two other people I have to say thank you to: Meli ( @my-love-for-pizza-is-infinite ) and Katti ( @kateandtheuniverse ).
To Meli: Our friendship has grown so important to me! Who would have known when meeting that confused looking girl in the elevator on the way to our Lieske seminar? You became one of my closest friends in no time and I know I can always rely on you and you never ever left me worried that our friendship wouldnāt stand me being away for a year. No, you waited at the airport so you could say goodbye to me - way too early in the morning! And I look so forward to seeing your lovely face when I walk through the airport doors in Berlin. I love our skype sessions and they have helped me so much. I miss you a lot and I am so grateful to have you. I have no doubts that our friendship will last, you wonāt ever get rid of me now!
To Katti: Oh where to start? There is no doubt that your name belongs on my list of people I owe a big thank you as well! I remember bombarding you with questions years ago while you were still here on your program. You still found time to reply to me and help me out with all the patience in the world. Little did I know that finding your blog on tumblr would lead me to find such a dear friend in you! Funny how our roles are reversed now, me being in Florida and you being in Germany. You always helped me, no matter how stupid the questions. I always knew I could rely on you and soon we werenāt just talking about Disney anymore. Seeing you in Mannheim wasnāt awkward at all, just as if weād known each other for years. Iām so excited to see you this summer! Three days of quality time! Prepare yourself to get the biggest of hugs when we see each other at the train station!
Wow, this is becoming way longer than I expected. Orlando was my temporary home for a year and it bears many lovely memories as well as sad moments, moments of frustration and anger, of fear and insecurity and of course more than just a few moments of joy and happiness.
Well what did I learn here during my year?
1) Carrying six big mugs in one hand (I canāt help that this is the first thing coming to my mind: Thank you Biergarten!)
2) People are gossips, try not to let it bring you down.
3) Donāt care too much about what other people think of you. Itās not easy but you are your own person. Caring too much about other peopleās opinions is not gonna get you anywhere.
4) You wanna help others? Great, but itās also okay to let your friends see if you arenāt doing too well. Let them be there for you. Itās not a one way street. (Yup still working on that one.)
5) Working on yourself is always a progress. You wonāt reach the 100% and thatās okay. Life isnāt about perfection.
6) If your body is telling you, you need a break? Better listen. Take time to take care of yourself and there is no reason to feel bad about it.
7) Sometimes you have to leave people be. They wonāt change if they donāt want to. You canāt help people who donāt want your help. Itās not your job to fix everybody and everything.
8) Itās okay to get angry. Itās healthy even.
9) You are capable of so much more than you trust yourself with. A little risk and a small jump into cold water is necessary sometimes. Have more confidence in yourself!
10) Server is never gonna be YOUR job. And thatās okay. (You didnāt wanna become a full time server anyway!) It doesnāt mean you were doing a bad job (lots of families were very happy to have you as their server and told you, some even said you were the best they ever had). It just means itās not gonna make you happy to serve people all day long. You need something more, something that lets you use your head.
11) Donāt be afraid to suck at things. Starting out as a beginner is not a shame. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to mess up. Donāt be so afraid of it!
12) If you only limit yourself to the things you already know how to do, youāre gonna miss out on things. Yes it is risky to try something you havenāt done. And yes you have to learn things and you are gonna make mistakes (re-read no. 11 at this point if you still havenāt got it!) IT IS OKAY! You will be uncomfortable in those situations at first. Itās normal. But only like this you can figure out what is for you and what isnāt. Donāt be so afraid of fucking up. Itās part of the whole thing. Itās necessary even.
13) People can be incredibly rude and disrespectful to you. It doesnāt mean itās your fault if they donāt know how to behave.
14) Donāt be afraid of putting yourself out there. Youāre gonna regret not saying anything a lot more than risking to say something when you feel like you want to. Better knowing that you said what you wanted to say to a person than wondering what wouldāve happened if you did.
15) If you are convinced of trying something, and it feels right, go for it. Even if other people tell you not to, that itās a bad decision to make or even that youāve lost your way. They are not you. It is your life and your decision to make. Not theirs. You have to live with it. Stand up for yourself and your decisions. (And know that those people probably want whatās best for you in their way, even if itās not helping.)
16) Nobody can really tell what the future brings and thatās okay too. Starting over is not a bad thing. You donāt have to have everything figured out.
17) There is no place like home.
18) You are lucky to have your friends.
19) Your mum loves you a lot. She let you go for a year to be somewhere very far away from her even though it was something she was very much afraid of. And yet she let you go because it was your wish. Still she was being there for you as best as possible. She tries to understand you and even though she doesnāt always understand everything thatās going on, she loves you very much and tries to support you as best as she can.
20) Studying doesnāt always feel great. But youāre missing it when you havenāt done it in a while (talking about studying the right field!). Sticking your head in a book, revising things, writing an overview, scrolling through PowerPoint slides, studying. Itās not always fun. You complain sometimes (which is part of the fun to be honest), but itās part of who you are. You like to keep your mind busy! And no, thatās not boring, you are not boring!
21) Negative situations and memories might stick out sometimes but that doesnāt mean there are only those around. Try to concentrate on the good. They are gonna get you through most of the bad stuff. And there are always good stories around.
22) Donāt compare yourself to every other person you meet (I know this is a hard one! Remember to keep working on it!). Try to concentrate on yourself.
23) You donāt have to impress anybody. Trying new things is important but if something feels wrong and is very very far out of your comfort zone, donāt feel like you need to do it. Even if āyou canāt say you donāt like it if you havenāt tried it.ā Itās okay to say no. Donāt feel bad about it.
24) Itās okay to say no. Itās okay to say yes. Itās about learning when to do which.
25) Situations are mostly what you make out of them. Just like this program.
26) People (and especially family) donāt have to share the same interests as you or like the same things. You like that movie or game or book but they tell you itās nonsense? Well too bad for them not having that marvelous taste you have. Donāt play it down because others donāt like it. Being passionate about things is not a bad thing. You donāt have to be quiet about the things you enjoy.
27) You have to act like an adult a lot of the time anyway, so when you donāt have to, itās okay to let your inner child out. Donāt take yourself too seriously. Growing up is necessary to a certain degree, but a little lightheartedness doesnāt hurt. āChildishā doesnāt mean bad.
28) First impressions can be wrong. Usually you have quite a good feeling when it comes to people and whether or not they are someone you could get along with. Just keep in mind that even though those impressions often turned out to be quite accurate, it doesnāt mean they are always true. Somebody you donāt particularly like in the beginning can turn out to be somebody you get along with better than you expected. Or the other way around.
29) I know you like to plan but sometimes life is about being spontaneous. Go for it if you really wanna do something even if you havenāt figured out and planned everything in detail. Youāre gonna find a way to do it in time. Just go for it while you have the opportunity. Safe doesnāt automatically mean better.
30) It doesnāt matter how many things you managed to do, youāll always feel like you havenāt done everything or you could have seen more. Thatās okay too. Youāve seen a lot and also got to experience things that werenāt on the list in the first place. Lists are nice, but life is not a list.
