Why INFPs think of themselves as “frauds.”
When you’re an INFP, your biggest insecurity is that you have nothing to say.
You perceive most people as insightful, intelligent and interesting, while you are a dullard who can’t even string three words together. It’s not just that you’re shy — you feel like there’s something mentally WRONG with you.
I felt this way for decades, but I got over it by thinking about it this way. The reason everyone else’s stories are so fascinating is because YOU are the one processing them. YOU are connecting dots in your brain that make what you hear much more “involving” than the same story processed through a non-infp mind. In other words, you’re too imaginative for your own good.
Conversely, you have incredibly high standards for what constitutes a worthy conversation and what doesn’t. Comments about yourself, for example, seem egotistical and pointless. How you day is going? Who cares!!
So you LIMIT your options SEVERELY when communicating with another person, and tend to choose the words that end the conversation because you don’t want people to find out you’re an imposter.
Yeah, that’s the main thought that goes through your head, right? You’re stupid and incapable (handicapped, maybe?) and nobody has found out yet. But oddly enough, nobody seems to notice. Nobody has EVER told you that you are dumb. Weird, isn’t it?
That’s because you’re not dumb. You simply have impossibly high standards. You’re an INFP, remember.
Like I said, I struggled with this for decades. I was an “imposter” for decades, yet I STILL manage to be “successful,” despite judging myself as a “fraud” all those years ago.
That’s because I’m NOT a fraud, and neither are you. Once I realized this, I also realized that I DID have useful things to say. This post, hopefully, is one of them.
So don’t harsh on yourself, and please let me know if this helps. You see, I still appreciate verification that I’m not a fraud, even when I know it’s not true.
It’s No Fucking Problem.
Your Pal,
Space Monkey
