A/N: hoe hoe hoe merry christmas bitches. or happy holidays. an almost-6k-word chapter. hold on to your seats and wigs.
Jessie's POV
I was in my dressing room, waiting until it was time for me to go in for my interview at Alan Carr Chatty Man. I was slightly nervous because I was still not used to giving interviews, especially with an audience, and everyone knew how bold Alan could be.
I had already finished doing my make up and I had a wig on so I didn't have to worry about my hair. I was scrolling through my abandoned twitter account to pass time. I had gained quite a few followers since last time I logged on and I noticed many sweet mentions from fans complimenting me. Maybe I should use this more. I replied to a few of them until the producer of the show knocked on my door telling it was time for me to head to the stage.
"… give it up for Jessie J!" I heard Alan Carr say, followed by a lot of applause, and the producer motioned for me to go. I climbed down a small flight of stairs waving at people and dancing a little with a huge grin on my face. My heart was beating really fast and I was nervous I'd fall down the stairs or something, because I was clumsy as hell, so I wouldn't be surprised to do something that embarrassing. Alan reached for my hand on the last step to help me, since I was in high heels, then gave me a kiss on each cheek.
"Hey!" he said excitedly and motioned for me to walk to the sofa as he followed me.
"Hello!" I said as I sat down and waved more at the audience.
"You look incredible!" he said to me.
"Thanks!"
"What would you like to drink, love?" he asked as he took two glasses out of the round compartment besides his arm chair where he kept many bottles of what seemed all kinds of beverages.
"Oh, I don't drink!" I replied. "Well, there's this one drink I love but you probably don't have Shandy."
"Shandy?!" he asked after a second and I laughed.
"It's fine, it's fine." I told him.
He started taking some bottles out and saying what they were and one of them had some sort of drawing on it, it looked cute and didn't seem too strong.
"That one." I said and he put the bottle on the table beside me and I took it to feel the scent of it while he made a joke and made me laugh again. He poured us the drink and we toasted.
"Cheers! Eye contact, eye contact!" I said widening my eyes, looking into his, rather creepily. I took a sip and put my glass over the table while Alan asked me about my sisters and the band we had together. When I started responding, I motioned my hand to the side and, believe it or not, I knocked my glass over and it fell on the floor.
"Oh!" I gasped and tried to get it but it was too late. Oh, gosh, oh no, this is so embarrassing. I covered my face with my hands as I laughed, along with the entire audience. Way to go, Jessica.
"Alright! You don't have to talk about it! Don't get violent!" Alan said, jokingly.
"I'm so clumsy!" I shouted and chuckled again.
Alan kneeled down to pick the glass up and dry the floor with a cushion.
"I'm only doing this because it's your first time on the show!" he exclaimed.
"Okay." I said. I moved on telling him about another story featuring my clumsy self; obviously, I had many of those stories.
"So, you went to stage school…" he said, waiting for me to continue.
"Yes, I did."
"Did your parents push you?" he asked.
"No, I used to love it." I said. "At first I started out wanting to do acting, and I remember being at this private lesson and the teacher asked me if I wanted to sing and I sang Tomorrow from Bugsy Malone." I stated and Alan leaned forward, widening his eyes slightly in wonder, nodding. "And that was kinda it really. I was really loud! I wasn't very good, I just was loud, like annoyingly loud."
"And who was in your class?"
"Ermm…" I started, trying to remember. "Actually, James Buckley."
"Oh, yeah, from The Inbetweeners." Alan said, acknowledging him.
"He was hilarious, like hilarious in drama." I said.
"And Adele." he mentioned.
"Yeah, I was in the same year as Adele in Brit School." I told him. "We used to hang out in lunch time and someone would play the guitar and we would try to out-riff each other. But, I mean, it's weird now thinking back on it…"
"I can't imagine you and Adele at school."
"Yeah, when I came off the stage at the BRIT Award, after I gave my speech and she'd just sang, I was like 'Babe.' and she was like 'Baaabe!' and I was like 'Baaabe!'"
Alan and the audience burst into laughter.
"It's always nice to have support from your peers." I said.
"Yeah, it's good." he said. "And I've seen a lot of stuff written about you in the paper, about your… sexuality."
"What?! I didn't know anything about this!" I said, feigning shock.
"They say you are bisexual."
"I know, such an exclusive!" I mocked. "So pathetic. It makes me laugh though, I shouldn't even say this, but it does make me laugh when I'm like out and people do shout abuse and they're like 'LESBIAN!' and I'm like 'I prefer bushbasher.'" I said and it made everyone laugh.
"But you know, I think it's so boring, the tabloids are like 'Jessie J, the bisexual singer…' in case anyone forgets." I added. "But yeah, I love it all! I love it!" I said, jokingly, rubbing my hands on my thighs, then chuckled.
"People see bisexuals as greedy, don't they?" he asked.
"Yeah, super greedy."
"Did you come out to your parents or did they find out through the newspaper?" Alan asked.
"No, my mum and dad always knew." I responded. "My dad actually sat me down and was like 'are you a lesbian?'" I did a low, deep voice to mimic my dad. "It was always something I was never bothered by. As soon as my mum, my dad and my family were like 'it's cool' I don't care what people think."
"Are you with anyone at the moment?"
"Maybe." I said and did an enigmatic face while the audience hailed and Alan giggled. "I like to keep a little bit of mystery."
I really didn't want to share such personal details with the public, even though I wasn't with anyone. And I didn't feel great about that, given the circumstances. But I didn't let myself start to think about it during an interview. I couldn't ruin the light atmosphere that we were at, despite the fact that this subject - sexuality - was delicate. But it was just natural to me so I didn't mind talking about it.
"The funniest thing is that I never denied it, and every time I've been asked about it I've been very honest about it, it's just that they need to find something they think people will find interesting." I said. "I've never used it as a gimmick, I actually have a song, a love song on my album that it's about a girlfriend of mine that I had, honest love song about being in love with a girl, and I don't want it to be a single because I don't want my sexuality to be a gimmick."
"Right, right."
"In the end of the day I live once, and if I fall in love with a girl, I fall in love with a girl; if I fall in love with a guy, I fall in love with a guy. Doesn't matter to me." I explained, truthfully.
"What about an animal?" Alan asked and I laughed.
"Ooh, I love my micro pig…" I sang and everybody chuckled. "Imagine."
"I'd love to see that!" he said playfully, then made a weird face. "So, you'll be performing your new single later…"
"Yes."
"I can't wait. Thank you so much for coming!"
"Thank you for having me." I said. "It's been a pleasure."
"Oh, anytime! Can't wait to hear your song." he said. "Jessie J everyone!"
The audience started clapping and Alan announced what would be next, then we went on break. I gave him a hug and said goodbye before going backstage to prepare myself for the performance.
Katy's POV
After spending a couple of days with my family in Santa Barbara, I felt so much better. I knew that whatever happened with my relationships or work or anything, I'd always have my family and that was enough. They loved me unconditionally and I loved them and there was nothing more important. In the end of the day I knew they were the ones who would be there for me.
While I was in LA we had decided on what single to release next and discussed some ideas for the music video, but we'd only record it a month from now.
I was on a break now, getting coffee from Starbucks. I laughed when I ordered it to the cashier, because I didn't have to give him my name, and he was actually quite excited about seeing me in his workplace. Oh, I remembered the many times I gave the wrong name just to play around, as everyone does. And I remember the many ways my real name was misspelled, even if I simply said "Katy". And of course, I remembered that it was in one of these franchises where I first met Jessie and she also misspelled my name. Oh, and that cute little message she left on my cup… I started smiling alone while my name wasn't called. As soon as I noticed the unconscious smile that had appeared on my face and remembered where we were today, my smile faltered then faded and I sighed deeply, closing my eyes.
"Katy?" I heard the barista call and I shook my head as I walked over to the counter to get my cup.
While I sweetened my coffee, my phone started ringing. I closed the lid of the cup and answered the phone, it was my manager.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Katy, how are things in LA?" he asked me.
"Everything's fine, why?"
"Just wanted to check in with you." he said. "I also called to tell you something that I didn't want to risk you missing it if I emailed you."
"What is it?" I asked him, starting to get anxious.
"It's just work, don't worry, it's something good." he explained. "I just got off the phone with the producer of the BBC Live Lounge and they're gonna do a special with you."
"Oh, wow! That's awesome." I replied, walking out of the coffee shop.
"Isn't it?"
"When?" I asked.
"This weekend, is it good for you?"
"Of course." I said.
"So you'll finish what you have scheduled to do in LA and then you'll go straight to London for rehearsals and all that, ok?"
"Ok, awesome."
"And Archie will be meeting you there, to guide you and give you instructions." he told me.
"Even better!"
"Oh, and you'll have to do a cover song, so start thinking about one." he said. "Talk to you later, Katy."
"Bye." I said and ended the call.
I was really excited about it. I loved watching the Live Lounge, it showed the raw talent that people had and I was really flattered that BBC invited me to perform on it. I knew the setlist had to be of 5 or 6 songs, so I had to pick mine well, and pick the cover well too.
I noticed as I was walking that there was a paparazzi a few feet away from me, so I put my coffee cup in front of my face while I typed a text.
Sarah, can you go to london this weekend? x
So I was going to London. I had to meet with Jessie, we had to talk. I started typing another text, this time to Jessie.
Hey, Jess, i'm going to be in london in a few days and i really wish we could meet up sometime while i'm there, if you're in town… x katy
I put the phone in my back pocket as I reentered the building I was originally in for a meeting. These meetings were really boring but I was a control freak so I had to be a part of everything, or else I'd lose my mind - more than I do stressing out about every single detail.
When I was in the elevator I felt my phone vibrating, so I took my it out to check what it was. I was a bit fussy thinking it was Jessie replying, but it was just Sarah. I'd be dead if she ever heard me saying it was "just Sarah".
london? what are you talking about? are you moving our honeymoon up?
I laughed as I read her text before replying.
yes, that exactly it, will you join me?
S: sure
K: ok, we'll meet each other there though, is that ok?
S: yeah. but tell me, what are you gonna do there again?
K: i'll be doing a live lounge special :)))
S: katy! that's awesome bb!
K: i know right! but i'll talk to you later because i'm going in a meeting now, xxx
Jessie's POV
I was in the car leaving the studio where Chatty Man is shot, replying to some emails on my phone and singing along to the radio when I received a text, I usually got many texts all the time, which is why I almost ignored it for now, but the contact name caught my attention. Katy. I felt my heart speeding up a little as I opened and the text.
She was coming to London and wanted to talk. Did I want to talk? If I didn't I could simply say I wouldn't be here… No. I couldn't just avoid everything every time I was uncomfortable, and I wanted to hear what she had to say and just rip off the bandaid. We couldn't just leave things hanging. I wasn't going to get back together with her, but we needed to put a clear end to things.
I sighed.
That's what I would always tell myself thinking I was believing it, wishing it was true. I knew that when I was face to face with Katy, when I listened to her voice, when I looked into her eyes, she still affected me, in a way I honestly would choose not to happen if I could, but love isn't a switch that you can just turn off.
I felt like a sucker, a fool.
ok, we can meet. meet me in front of the studio on friday at 5.
I sent and almost immediately got a response.
thank you, see you then
Katy's POV
I arrived in London on Thursday. From the airport I went straight to the BBC studios to sign some paperwork and get some instructions on how the show would happen and what I could and couldn't do (like swearing, I'm not supposed to do that). I told them what the setlist was going to be and they were okay with it. They told me and the band where we would be able to rehearse and where it would be shot. We would film it on Saturday afternoon so we had today and tomorrow to rehearse and do some changes on the setlist if necessary - letting BBC know what they were, and Saturday morning to do the soundcheck.
On Friday we started rehearsing in the morning so I could be free by 4:30 to meet Jessie. I didn't tell anyone that was what I was going to do, and I didn't allow many questions to be asked, plus the guys knew that if I didn't say something right away it was very private and they respected it.
A few minutes before 5 o'clock I was in front of the building where the studio was located, waiting for Jessie to come down. I was glad that here in London the media and paparazzi weren't so aggressive and didn't stalk you down the street 24/7, so I could just sit on this bench doing nothing and be invisible for a while.
Not long after I arrived I saw her emerging from the building, and I quickly got up. She wearing a large denim shirt over black leggings and little to no makeup on. The butterflies on my stomach made me nervous and I wasn't sure what I was going to tell her anymore.
"Hey." I said putting a strand of hair behind my ear. Should I give her a hug? A kiss on the cheek? Handshake? No, definitely no handshakes.
"Hi." she replied, curving her lips up a bit in an awkward smile, not making a lot of eye contact.
"So, I, um…" I began, taking a step forward.
"Are you with a car?" she asked, interrupting me.
"No, I--"
"Ok, then come with me, let's go to my place." she said and started walking down the sidewalk. After a second of confusion I followed her.
We got to her car and she got in the driver's seat without saying anything, I hesitantly got in the passenger side, trying to align my thoughts.
After a few minutes of silence I decided to try and start a conversation.
"So, um, you're working on something in the studio?" I asked her.
"We don't have to do small talk." she stated, keeping her eyes fixed on the road ahead of us. "If you don't wanna wait 'til we get to my flat, you can get straight to the point of this conversation you wanted to have."
Ouch.
I opened my mouth to say something but I decided not to, I definitely didn't want her to get even more mad at me, and I didn't want to have that conversation in a car while she was driving.
I stared out of the window while we didn't get there and I could feel the tension in the air, you could almost cut it with a knife.
What it seemed 3 hours later, she parked in front of her building and we went inside.
"Do you want something? Water?" she asked out of politeness but her tone was still icy. She locked the door and threw the keys on the table.
"No, I'm good, thanks." I said, clasping my hands together.
"Ok, so…" she started as she walked to the couch and sat down. "We're here, I'm listening."
I walked over to the couch as well and sat down on the opposite side of it, looking and Jessie then looking at the floor in front of me while I thought about what to say.
"I, erm…" I started and took a deep breath, then shook my head. "I-- I didn't sleep with her, Jessie."
I looked at her as I finished the sentence and saw her throwing her head back and rolling her eyes.
"It's true, I remembered it!" I said.
"It doesn't matter."
"I started crying and letting out everything I was feeling about you and I and--"
"It doesn't matter!" she yelled and I stopped talking, then looked at her. "We weren't together and, yeah, I know you were hurt too and all that."
I stayed in silence, in shock.
"Is that all you had to say?" she asked, showing impatience.
"No, I--" I shook my head and buried my head in my hands, my elbows placed on my knees. "I don't know."
I was trying to keep my breathing slow and ignore the lump in my throat.
Don't screw this up, I kept telling myself. But I had a feeling in my gut of why I didn't know what to say.
I jumped when I felt a hand on my back. I slowly turned my head to the side and my eyes met with Jessie's. She didn't have that distant look in her eyes anymore, instead they showed compassion and sympathy. I knew what was coming, so did she.
We've always known.
I adjusted my posture and gave her a soft smile to which she reciprocated. I wrapped my arms around her neck, giving her a tight hug. She wrapped hers around my waist, pulling me closer. The tension I was feeling vanished thoroughly. I closed my eyes as I inhaled her sweet scent.
"I do love you." I whispered. I pulled away and pressed my forehead to hers, keeping my eyes shut for a moment.
"I love you, too." she sighed.
I opened my eyes for a brief moment before I placed my hand on her cheek and pressed my lips to hers in a chaste kiss. I felt that electricity running through my body and my skin prickled. It happened every time we kissed or touched and I doubt it would ever stop.
I felt a tear fall down my cheek.
"I'm sorry." I said quietly when we broke it off, keeping the close distance between our faces.
"I'm sorry, too." she replied and I dried the tear that I noticed escaping her eye with my thumb.
"I'm so tired of bad timing." I said and half-chuckled, shaking my head, leaning back on the couch.
"It's for the best." she muttered.
"Is it?" I questioned, looking at her.
"Yes." she said, looking away.
"But…"
"No, Katy." she shook her head. "You know."
I took a deep breath.
"I'm gonna go… or else I won't." I said, getting up, without facing Jessie. "Goodbye."
I quickly walked out of the apartment and rushed out of the building, salty tears running down my cheeks uncontrollably now.
Love isn't easy. Love can't overcome anything. Love isn't enough. Love hurts.
In fact, love is a bitch and it's only used as an excuse for dumb actions. You think love can solve everything and it's magical and it'll save you and it makes you feel wonderful. That's bullshit. The ecstasy you feel is only a distraction for the problems, it helps you ignore them, while you're being senseless and not rational, and the illusion can only last so long.
I don't know if there's a 'right' way to love, if you learn it by trying and failing and getting hurt and hurting others, but it would be easier if there was a manual or something.
Why wasn't love enough? Why do we hurt the ones we love?
Why do you fall in love with someone if you aren't supposed to be together?
Is there ever a good way to end things?
If being apart is the right thing to do and you're actually better off without each other, why does it hurt so damn much?
Does anyone have the answers?
It was weird to think back to the beginning of a relationship and how it ended. Where did we go wrong? Or rather, how did we manage to go so wrong? Why did we keep insisting on that mistake? We're each other's mistakes.
Maybe we'll find each other again some other time, when we're right for each other. Maybe we'll never be.
I was too close to see the truth right now, but I refused to believe someone so important to me can just… not be a part of it anymore, overnight. Someone who had such a meaningful role in my life can't just be temporary in it.
I couldn't even use my past relationships as experience for this because none of them came close to this one, no one ever came close to Jessie.
I got to my hotel room and Sarah was there. I completely forgot she was going to arrive today.
"Katy, what's wrong? You look pale." she asked, quickly walking to me with a concerned expression on her face.
"It's over." I said.
"What is?"
"Jessie and I, we're over, for good." I told her. She hugged me and I started sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder.
Jessie's POV
I felt this weird angst on my chest, some kind of sadness, but at the same time I felt relief. I didn't know how those emotions worked together, but that was it. I knew I'd miss Katy, I already did, but we needed to be apart from each other. We needed to let each other breathe. We needed to grow.
It was hard to let go, of course, but if we got back together now we'd end up hurting each other even more. Our love was different, extraordinary, remarkable, and we weren't ready for something so exceptional at this moment.
It still hurt. A lot.
But I wasn't going to cry. It was for the best and I wasn't going to cry; I've cried enough. There was another way for me to let out my feelings and it was through writing, so that was what I was going to do while Natalie didn't come home.
But before I did that, I took my phone found Katy's contact. I took a deep breath and, though I was hesitant at first, I deleted Katy's number. I put my phone on the coffee table and took my notebook to start writing.
Stop, where am I?
Shock, I can't cry
Pop, I need some space
No, this isn't me
Go, please let me breathe
I'll be back sooner than you know
I need this space
Just like you need air
I need this time
Time to clear up my mind
Wait, did you hear that?
Hear my heart beat
I need this feeling
Yeah, I really need this
Katy's POV
Sarah tried comforting me for a while and I appreciated it, but I needed to be alone right now, so I told her to go to her room and that I'd talk to her in the morning.
I walked out on the balcony. The chilly air caressed my skin, making me shiver. I stood there for a few minutes, leaning against the edge of the balcony, watching the city. There was almost no one walking on the streets, but the traffic was still hectic.
I let my thoughts wander for a while, wander away from the ache in my heart.
I went inside when the cold weather made it uncomfortable for me to stay there.
I'd brought my guitar from rehearsals, so I took it and started playing some random chords I had stuck in my head for a few days. That led to me humming and mumbling some words, the chorus to a song maybe.
In another life I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in other life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away…
I played a few more chords, breathing in and out, before continuing with what I had in mind.
All this money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me,
'Cause now I pay the price…
My ringing phone woke me up. I sat up in bed and scrunched up my eyes, trying to adjust to the sunlight coming from the window. What time is it? I looked over and my guitar was next to me on the bed. I took my phone from the bedside table and answered it.
"Hello?" I asked. It was clear by my voice that I'd just woken up.
"Open up the door, sleeping beauty." Sarah said and I was confused. I got up rubbing my eyes and made my way to the door.
"I've been knocking for ten minutes." she stated and sighed, walking inside.
"Heavy sleeper." I told her, pointing at myself.
"I know, but you can't be late for the soundcheck, so get ready, we still need to get breakfast." she told me and I threw my head back, all I wanted to do was go back to bed.
"What time is it?" I asked her as I opened up one of my suitcases and took a tracksuit from it. I didn't need to glam up just yet, I'd be dressed and have my make up done after the soundcheck.
"Half past 6." she told me. Wow, Sarah was a good friend. I doubt I'd wake up at 6AM to wake her up if it was the other way around. "How are you?"
I sighed.
"You know, I've been better." I said and let out a cheerless chuckle. She put an arm around my shoulders, resting her head against mine. "I'll be ok."
"And I'm here for you, all the time, any time." she told me.
"I love you." I said.
"I love you, too." she said and kissed my cheek.
"Now let me get ready on so we can leave."
The soundcheck ran smoothly. After we finished it I had a snack then went straight to hair and make up (which always took hours) before they brought me a clothes rack so I could pick what I would wear. Everything on that rack was stunning, I wish I could have a quick change after each song just so I could wear more of those outfits, or maybe take them all home with me, but I couldn't. I picked this black dress with a beautiful golden embroidery on it, it ended a bit over my knees and had a high neck. I also wore black pointed toe boots and thick tights. This look was definitely not something people were used to seeing me in.
When I was ready I started warming up my voice and playing random chords on my guitar. I was a little nervous, but those butterflies in my stomach were what always made these moments great.
"Please welcome to the stage, Katy Perry!" I heard the presenter say and the producer signaled for me to go up.
Jessie's POV
I went to the studio the next morning and worked on some stuff I had already started with my team, but other people had the studio booked for the afternoon, so everyone decided to have the rest of the day off. However I still needed to write, even if what I wrote was shit and couldn't be used for anything, I just needed to get things off my chest; I went home alone and only stopped writing when I thought Natalie was about to arrive.
I turned on the telly and started going through the channels trying to find something to watch. I saw that Live Lounge was on BBC, it was ending already, but I decided to watch it anyway, I loved it.
"Oh, come on!" I said out loud when I saw who was performing on it. Would I ever be able to actually avoid her?
"What?" I heard Natalie ask, entering the flat.
"Um, nothing." I replied and took the remote about to change the channel.
"Is that Katy?" she asked, sitting beside me. "You're watching her? Interesting…"
"I'm not I'm ju--"
"Look, she's about to do a cover song, what did she choose?"
Right after Natalie asked Katy started talking about the next song.
"I really love this next song, I think it's one of those perfectly written pop songs, it's called Hackensack, it's by a group called Fountains of Wayne…"
"Ooh, I love that song." Natalie said.
"I think it's a beautiful love story that relates to a lot of people in a lot of different ways…"
"I really don't want to watch this, ok?" I told Natalie, getting up from the couch and walking to my room. I knew that song and loved it as well, and I didn't need to listen to Katy singing it right now. Definitely didn't. When she spoke about something meaningful to her, when she opened her heart about something, her voice was quiet and sweet, it was like she became shy about her feelings, and that was the way she was talking and I couldn't hear it. I couldn't change my mind.
"Jess!" Natalie called, walking after me. "What's wrong? You've been weird since last night. What happened?"
"I just… I talked to Katy." I told her, tapping my finger on the armchair I had in my room.
"Did you two fight?" she asked.
"No… I mean, I almost did fight with her," I began. "at first, I thought she was just gonna come here and make up a bunch of excuses and all that shit." I shook my head. "But then I realized that she truthfully wanted to make things up, but she didn't know what to say, and I didn't know what she could say either, nor what I could say, because there was nothing to be said or done."
"You mean you…"
"We broke up for good." I said and sat down on my bed. "I think we've always known that but we were avoiding the cold truth."
"I'm sorry, babe." she said and gave me a hug.
"I'm ok." I nodded. "I'll be ok."
Months and months later…
Katy's POV
I've been touring around the US for the last couple of weeks, it's been crazy. This was my first worldwide tour and I was extremely excited about it. I had two more weeks in America and Canada then I would head to Europe. I've never been busier. If the tour only took a most part of my schedule and I had almost no time off, adding everything else I had to do for promos plus some events plus meetings to plan things up to next year… I'm restless. And I love it! I love working and I'm really grateful that I have all these things to do! I most definitely am not taking all the success for granted and I'm taking every opportunity I can and I'll make most of it. I'm living my dream and I couldn't be happier.
I was in my dressing room getting ready for the show tonight. Partially ready, because I do some meet&greets before I get fully ready for the show.
I heard a knock on the door and my tour manager walked in.
"Katy, how's it going?" he asked, sitting on an empty chair by mine.
"Great." I said. "How's it going out there? Oh my god, is there a problem?" I asked, starting to freak out.
"No, no, everything's on track." he said. "I came here to talk about who'll support you on tour in Europe."
"Oh, ok. Phew!" I said and put my hand on my chest. "As you know, it's all set for Robyn to open the shows in Portugal, Spain, Italy and Germany." I nodded. "Now we just got a British singer to open the UK leg of the tour, it's all set."
"Awesome, who is it?" I asked.
"Jessie J." he told me and I froze.
the end.
A/N: bloop! the end! firstly i'd like to comment on some things here, that jessie interview is an actual interview is probably one of my favs ever (it's from the good times); i was going to make katy sing TOTGA on that live lounge but i didnt but if yall wanna pretend she did and watch the actual thing search it on youtube. also i added to this chapter the video of her singing hackensack if anybody wants to watch it and havent (idk tho where wattpad will show it). secondly, i'd like to thank everyone who read this story, who commented, who voted, i never (honestly, never) thought this story would get this far, nor that it would get even remotely close to 67k reads, so thank you. thirdly, i said to myself that i'd share my personal stuff (like twitter) when this ff ended, idk if anyone's even interested, but i will. on twitter i'm @drunkby6 and my tumblr url is stanakatics, on phhhoto i'm @perry and on ig i'm @prncessmandee (so original yall). now could this a/n get any longer? yes. if you guys wanna know who had most of the ideas for the sad and heartbreaking bits the answer is twitter user @shondasabitch. THATS IT GUYS BYE THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT <3
I had everything packed and the hotel staff had come to take all the luggage to the van that would take me to the airport, except for a small suitcase and a backpack and that had my most personal stuff in.
It was almost evening so the sun was setting, but I still put my pair of black Ray-Bans on because I had no make up on and my assistant told me that there were a few paparazzi outside the hotel. I was wearing a pair of black jeans and a black sweatshirt. I tried to keep everything low-key and comfortable when I was traveling
I waited for the elevator trying to calm down and prepare myself for whatever the paps would shout. I really wasn't used to fame yet, but it didn't freak me out anymore.
I was also breathing in and out doing my best to avoid thinking about Jessie, because leaving London only meant I wasn't going to see her anytime soon or even talk to her probably, which made me anxious.
The doors opened and I found Hailey, the woman who I met on the elevator the other night, in it. She also had sunglasses on and a cup of coffee on her hand.
"Hey." I said and forced a smile, since I wasn't expecting to run into her. I didn't even know if she would remember me after how much she and her girlfriends were drinking.
"Hey." she replied. "Did... did you join me and my friends on drinks yesterday?" she asked me, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Yep." I said, pressing my lips together.
"Oh, ok, I don't remember the night very well and my head is pounding, but I hope you had fun." she said and giggled.
"Yeah, you guys are fun." I told her.
"Are you checking out already?" she asked, noticing my bags.
"Yes." I replied.
"Oh, guess we won't be seeing each other again then." she said. "I left earlier to get this coffee and there are paps outside? Wonder who's here."
"I've been told." I said. At least she didn't know me. Yet. I'm sure she'd come across a magazine sooner or later, talking about me and my drunk mistakes.
We got to the lobby and said our goodbyes, she wished me a good flight and I made my way to the reception to check out.
I was sitting alone at the airport, close to the gate I was going to board, while my assistant talked to some people at the airport. I had my earphones on to distract myself and I had put on a beanie to sort of blend in.
Suddenly, something hit me. Memories from last night. Blurred ones, but I still remembered some things that happened. I sat straight up and widened my eyes in surprise and tried to focus on what was flashing through my mind.
I was at the bar and I was talking to the redhead, then we went to my room and started kissing but while she was straddling me and touching me I... cried? I started crying and she noticed it. Well, that's a turn off.
What else? What happened then?
Oh. I started unloading about Jessie, our fight, everything. On a stranger.
After that, all I remembered was what happened this morning.
I quickly took my phone out of my bag to try and text or call Jessie or something, I needed to tell her what really happened, or didn't happen for that matter. I found her contact and pressed call. It went straight to voicemail, but I tried again. Voicemail.
Then I started typing out a message, but in the middle of it I stopped to think, should I really text her? She was probably still angry at me and would delete my text without reading it, and I didn't want to have a conversation with her through text. But I wasn't going to be able to speak to her in person anytime soon. I locked my phone and put it back in my bag. Soon I'd be boarding on the plane, so I'd try calling her when I was home. I had a feeling she would decline my calls, but I'd try it anyway.
I had started texting Sarah saying I was about to board when my assistant, Tessa, came back and said we needed to get in the plane right away. I sent the text and turned off my phone before putting it in my backpack and getting up to head inside the plane.
I got home and only had time to leave my bags, because I had to go to a meeting with my manager. Even though I slept throughout the entire flight, I didn't feel rested at all. All I wanted to do was nothing. I just wanted to stay home alone. Or rather, stay home with Sarah because I missed her and I really needed her right now. She always knew what to do or say to make me feel better or reassure me that I'd be ok, although I don't know if 'not okay' could be used to describe how I was right now. I didn't know what I was feeling. Again, Sarah could always help me figure it out.
About 40 minutes later I was entering my manager's office. I was so glad I didn't have to deal with Steve anymore that I, as drained as I was, I felt some relief every time I had these meetings.
"Hey, Katy." he greeted me, kissing my cheek. "How are you?"
"A bit tired, but ok." I replied.
"I can imagine, after spending the night on a plane you must be exhausted, sorry to not even let you rest for a bit." he said. "But you know how it is."
"Yeah, of course, it's fine." I smiled.
"So, how was London?" he asked as we sat down and I widened my eyes, not knowing what to answer, I wondered if he was gonna say anything about the tabloids.
"Um… It was… it was ok…" I said, hesitantly. "Will I have to do anything else related to The X Factor there?"
"No. Not right now, at least." he replied and I nodded. "Look, Katy, I know what you're thinking, and I'll be honest with you." Chris began and I nodded slowly, apprehensive about what he was going to say. "You've been in the industry for a while, I'm pretty sure you've had a taste of how it's like, how manipulative and cold it can be. I know most A&Rs, producers, managers, almost everyone behind the scenes try to control and calculate every single move from the artists, telling them what to do and what not to do, what to say and how to say it, what to sing, and so on, but I'm not gonna do that.
"Your personal life is your personal life, the media will always make things up or twist the facts so they sell a story, and what I have to tell you is to just not pay attention to it, ignore the gossip as much as you can, because worrying will do you no good. We signed you for you so I won't try to mold you into anyone else either, and I won't tell you who you should hang out with. You're a big girl, you're responsible for yourself and I won't question anything unless it harms the work, or unless you want to talk about something. Ok?"
"Ok. Thank you." I said and let out a deep breath.
"Now, let's talk about work." he said. "Can you do an interview at Good Morning America on Thursday?"
"Sure." I replied and he wrote something down.
"Ok, now, do you think it's time to release a new single? Do you wanna talk about this with the producers?" he asked.
"I think we could release something, but we can talk to them about which song." I said.
"Radio interviews, can you do anything?"
"Yeah, of course." I said and he wrote more things on his notebook. "And, um, is there anything I can do in LA?"
"I can try and schedule something there, why?" he asked.
"It's just that I haven't been with my family in a while and I wanted to see them, and they live about an hour and a half from LA." I explained.
"I understand, don't worry, I'll arrange your schedule and I'll email everything to you." he said. "You can take the rest of the day off, recharge, but tomorrow you'll meet me and the guys at the studio before you head to an interview, ok?"
"Ok, see you tomorrow." I said and smiled at him before leaving his office.
A/N: ok so lets leave this as a fill-in chapter. i could've published this like two weeks ago but i wanted to write more but i have a block and i cant move to what i know i want to write unless i write something else before and i dont want to keep you guys waiting for too long, so im publishing this. i already have next chapter in mind and hopefully the ff will be updated before the end of the year. sorry again for the delay. <3
I made my way back home slowly, I took a longer route with my car and avoided speeding up. I stopped at the red light and reached over to the glove compartment of the car to check if there were any CDs to put on. Since Natalie was the one who used the car most of the time, I found a few of her favourite albums (mostly by The Smiths and Joy Division) so I went with The World Won't Listen. I emptied my mind and simply sang and moved along to the songs, watching the buildings and people and trees that passed by my window.
I drove by a square and there were quite a few people gathered there, I wondered what was going on and almost parked the car to go check, but decided to keep driving.
After almost listening to the entire album, I got home and had to stop avoiding what I was avoiding.
Was I avoiding something? I had nothing to avoid.
I climbed the stairs and opened the door, humming something to myself. As I walked inside I saw that Natalie had come back, she was eating cereal on the couch.
"Where have you been?" I asked her, dropping my keys on the table.
"Where have you been?" she asked back, not taking her eyes off of the telly. Smartarse.
"I asked first." I replied.
"You knew I wouldn't be here, so you need to answer." she said. "Did you… spend the night away?" she raised an eyebrow at me.
"No, I-I slept here." I told her, blinking a few times, suddenly remembering the previous night.
"You okay?" she asked, furrowing her brows.
"Yeah, yeah." I said, forcing a smile.
"So, where were you?"
I tried to quickly think of something to say instead of the truth, but I was fussy and I couldn't make anything up, so I stuttered.
"I-I was dri-driving."
"Driving… where?" she asked again. I took a deep sigh. I really had no reason to lie to Natalie, in fact I should do the complete opposite and just get everything off my chest, but I subconsciously knew it would hurt, facing everything would hurt and I didn't want to do it, but I had no option.
"To and from Katy's hotel." I told her as I dropped on the couch and covered my face with my hands.
"What's wrong, Jess? What happened?" she asked, concerned. She put her bowl of cereal on the coffee table and turned to face me.
"We fought last night." I started.
"Why?" she asked before I could go on.
"Because I was feeling really insecure towards our relationship and I was scared because of the pain I had felt in the past, right? And she noticed it and confronted me about it and I snapped at her." I explained. "You know me, my short temper, so I didn't express my feelings properly and said too much and we sorta ended things."
"Then what?"
"I wrote it out - you know that it always helps me - and cried it out and slept on it and I decided that I didn't want to end things after all…" I shook my head at my foolishness.
"But that's good, isn't it?" she asked and I gave her a look.
"Well, I went to her hotel to talk to her… she looked like a mess, I thought she was just hungover but…" I felt my lips quivering, but I clenched my jaw, not allowing myself to cry. "she was with someone, she was already with someone else, man!"
"What did she say?" Natalie asked.
"I don't care about what she had to say! She cheated!" I shouted.
"Jess…"
"Don't Jess me, Natalie." I said, crossing my arms and facing the TV. "I know she didn't exactly cheat but still? If she loved me she wouldn't do that?" I paused. "When I saw that woman… I lost it. I lost my hopes for us, the will I had to try and make it work. Everything was taken from me again. It was like if you were falling down from somewhere really high and you can't breathe and you know you'll hit the ground and it'll break your bones at any point but at the moment you just feel this void inside?"
She tilted her head to the side, giving me a sympathetic look that I honestly hated. I hated being looked at with pity.
"And I was so angry, I was angry at myself for believing we would be able to change and work things out and trying to give us another chance; and I was angry at her for betraying me, betraying us…"
"The 'us' she thought didn't exist anymore?" Natalie asked and I gave her a look. "Jess, you know you're my best friend and I'm on your side, I'll support you with anything you choose to do, always"
"But…" I added, rolling my eyes, knowing that that wasn't everything she would say.
"But don't you think she did that because she was hurt as well?" she asked.
"Whose side are you on?" I asked her.
"I already said I'm on your side." Natalie stated and I groaned. "I would be on my way there to punch her in the face if I knew she was just a dick who doesn't give a shit about you or hurting you."
"What are you trying to do?" I asked her.
"I think you two should let the dust settle and then talk."
"I don't wanna talk to her! Ever!" I exclaimed.
"You don't need to get back together, I'm just saying you two should listen to each other's side of the story before and make things clear." she explained. I knew Natalie was my rational side when let emotions take over, but I didn't always listen to her (regretting it later, often) and this was one of those times.
"No. No. Nothing will make me change my mind, ok?" I said, shaking my head. "I don't wanna get hurt anymore!"
"I understand, babe, I just don't want you to lose an opportunity of living something magical just because you're scared. " Natalie said. "'Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time'"
"Maya Angelou." I said, recognizing the quote she made in the ending. "But, you know, I'm not losing anything. I know I can be happy without her." I replied, crossing my arms like a stubborn child.
"I know you can, but do you want to?" she inquired, and once again made me stop and think about it for a moment.
"Shut up, ok? Get out. Go shower or something. It's past noon and you're sitting down on the couch eating cereal." I said and she gave me an observant smile, knowing she's accomplished her intention. "This conversation is over."
"As you wish." she said before getting up, taking the bowl from the coffee table and walking to the kitchen.
What the hell? What kind of friend was she? Wasn't she supposed to help me plan Katy's murder or something? Why did she have to be so reasonable? And right most of the time? I wasn't going to listen to her. I'm angry and hurt but I still know better. I'm not gonna leave any space open for more disappointment.
Katy's POV
My phone started ringing before I could think about the situation further. I took a robe and wrapped around my half-naked body before answering it.
"Hello?" I said, without looking at the caller ID.
"Katy, it's Arch, I hope you're up already." he stated, and oh no, his tone wasn't the greatest, what else could go wrong now?
"Unfortunately, yes." I replied. "And apparently this day is about to get worse, what's up?"
"Tabloids." he said. Well, shit, nothing good could come from tabloids.
"What are they saying?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
"That you indeed kiss girls and more."
"What? How do they know? What are they talking about?" I asked everything at once, agitatedly.
"Well, did you do anything reckless last night?" he asked, clearly knowing the answer. "From your silence I'm assuming you already know what I'm talking about."
"What do they have on it? We can claim it's just rumors, everybody knows 95% of tabloids are bullshit." I said.
"Yeah? What about pictures of you evidently drunk and actually kissing a girl?"
Shit, shit, shit.
It seemed like my mantra today was saying shit repeatedly.
"Katy, what were you thinking?" he asked me, with a lecture tone.
"I wasn't!" I uttered. "But it was just a kiss! How can they claim 'and more'?!" I asked.
"It says 'sources' saw you two leaving the hotel bar together, and that you were very touchy-feely." he explained and I rolled my eyes. "Is that true?"
"Yes, but--"
"Katy." he interrupted me.
"Nothing happened!" I shouted.
"It doesn't matter!" he shouted back. "You're a celebrity, Katy, the media doesn't care about the truth, and they have pictures of you making out with a woman! That's more than enough to make them happy."
"I know, ok? I know! I'm sorry!" I yelled as tears filled up my eyes.
"I'm just worried, as a friend, about your image and keeping your private life private." he said, more calmly this time. "Your manager didn't really care about it, since the song was such a hit and this is actually good promo, showing that you're not just singing about something you didn't live for popularity."
"Phew! As long as everyone's making some money out of it it's ok!" I said, sarcastically.
"What went on anyway?" he asked. "Weren't you with Jessie?"
"Well, that's the other good news I had!" I continued with my sarcastic tone. "I thought I was until last night, then I wasn't and after this morning I sure as hell am not with her!"
"I don't get it, what happened?"
"Never mind, ok? I don't wanna talk about it right now and my battery's about to die anyway, I just wanna go home." I said. I'm just so tired of everything. I wanna disappear.
"Do you want me to try and book you an earlier flight back?"
"If that's possible."
"I'll see what I can do and I'll email you what I get, ok?" he said, with care in his voice.
"Ok, thank you."
"Now, go take a shower, relax, and charge your phone." he told me.
"I will."
"Hey, Katy, everything will be alright. Whatever it is." Archie said and I smiled at his thoughtfulness.
"Yeah, thanks."
"Bye-bye." he said and I ended the call.
I loved working with Archie but above that I loved having him as a friend. He was one of the best people I knew and I'm really grateful for having a friend like him in the industry. Even though he sometimes tells me off, like today, I know he's just looking out for me.
I plugged my phone on my laptop to charge it then went to the bathroom and turned the tap on to fill up the bathtub. A hot bath can cure anything.
While I waited for it to be full I called for some room service as custom, because wasn't hungry at all right now. I was dazed.
I finished preparing my bath, adding some salts and oils, watching the foam grow bigger and bigger. I closed the the tap and dropped my robe and underwear on the floor before I entered the tub, slowly putting one foot at a time, getting used to to the water temperature.
I slid down until I the water was over my head, expecting it to just boil my problems and stress and feelings away, but instead, they all hit me at once with an indescribable force and I rose my head from the water hurriedly, searching for air. My chest heaved rapidly as I panted, but it still seemed like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs.
What had I done? How was I going to fix it?
I was feeling so alone, so lonely.
Regarding to my situation with Jessie, I knew that I wasn't the only one to blame and I was really mad at her for putting everything on my back and not caring about how much I was trying. But when she realized it, well, I'd already acted stupid again.
And it was all over the tabloids.
My parents were going to see it, everyone was going to see it. And that's not even who I am! Hooking up with strangers…
But I had to learn to deal with it. I had to stop being careless. Above that, I had to stop hurting my loved ones.
More than how the world and 'everyone' was going to think of me, I cared about what one particular person thought. I really just wanted to fix things with Jessie.
Jessie's POV
I was checking my emails on my laptop while Natalie took a shower when I heard someone knock on the door twice, but opening it without waiting a bit. Holly.
"Good afternoon." I told her.
"Afternoon, babe." she replied, giving me a kiss on the cheek. It was weird of her showing up uninvited when we hadn't talked in a while, but I had no problem with it, of course.
"What's up? We haven't spoken in a few days, Holl." I stated, closing my laptop and sliding it to the side on the table.
"Not much, I'd just been taking some classes which are keeping me busy." she replied. "And with you? Your life is always more exciting than mine."
I did have a lot going on lately, but nothing I could tell Holly. She didn't know I'd been seeing Katy 'romantically' (she'd gotten mad just for the fact that I had talked to her, so if she knew, she'd freak out) let alone that we were over. And bad. Again.
"Erm, not much either, I'd just been on the studio most of the time." I said, entwining my fingers over the table.
"So, busy as well?" she asked and I nodded. "Good, so you probably haven't seen the recent news of your little ex, who you've recently befriended again." she said with antipathy.
"News?" I asked. I really had seen nothing on Katy, except for what I'd witnessed, and if Holly was bringing it up, it wasn't good.
"That she's been whoring around, as usual." Holly told me as she handed me her phone opened on a news website. The headline mentioned how Katy really kissed girls 'and more', followed by a short text that preceded some pictures.
Obviously I knew what had happened, but actually seeing her all over someone else, drinking, kissing, laughing… it made my stomach turn. I couldn't see it. I couldn't imagine it.
It was a bit of jealousy, a bit of revulsion, a bit of deception, a bit of anger. I had many divergent feelings, but none of them were good, and they most definitely didn't make me want her back. Or at least that's what I thought.
"I told you, people don't change." Holly said, taking her phone from my hand.
People don't change, I repeated to myself.
But… Katy wasn't like that. She never was. Holly was saying that because I still hadn't told her the whole story. For a second, I almost started defending Katy, but once again I relived the pain I felt in the morning. And the former night. And the previous year.
I was confused and torn. I wanted to erase all the bad parts and just have a happy and incredible relationship with Katy again, but this ache was inevitable and maybe it was never going away, maybe we'd just hurt each other constantly. It wasn't healthy for us to be together. We had to be apart and heal.
"Jess?" I heard Holly say.
"What?" I asked, blinking a couple of times.
"You'd been staring at space for like a minute with the strangest look on your face, like a sociopath or something." she said and laughed, which I mimicked forcefully not to be any more suspicious. I knew Holly was one of my best friends and I could tell her anything and she would always listen, but I felt like this was an exception. I don't know why but I just felt it.
Natalie was the only friend who knew about everything and I could talk to her then, but she'd just tell me what she had already, and after all I'd made my decision, I knew what was the right thing to do: be apart from each other and heal.
I walked all over town. I went to some places I had no idea existed and didn't even look like London anymore, I even wondered if I'd walked so much I'd actually managed to leave the city, but after seeing some signs with directions to touristic attractions I recognised I was still in London Town. I did sort of get away after all.
My feet started aching at a point, so I took my phone to check the time and see for how long I'd been wandering around with no destination.
1:07AM.
No calls, no texts.
I lifted my head from the phone screen and took a look around the street I was on. No one in sight. A couple of light poles that flashed every three minutes or so illuminated a few cars that were parked there, but it probably made the street look even creepier if there were no lights on.
I put my phone in my back pocket and started walking fast, hoping I'd soon find a busy avenue where I could hail a cab, because it wasn't safe to be alone at this time of night on these eerie streets. I couldn't even call Natalie to pick me up because god knows where she was, she just told me she wasn't going home tonight.
About half an hour later I was safe and sound in my flat. I changed into my pajamas and lied down in bed, wishing to fall asleep quickly so I'd stop overthinking everything and feeling everything.
But I knew I wasn't going to.
And I didn't.
The angst in my chest kept me tossing and turning and my mind wouldn't quiet down.
I groaned in frustration and threw one of my pillows across the room. I heard it hit a wall and fall on the floor.
I kicked my blankets to the side with an unnecessary force and got out of bed, making my way to the kitchen to make myself some tea.
As I waited for the water to boil, I leaned against the sink, shaking my head. God, I hated that woman. I hated her. She turned my world upside down since I first saw her. She took me to the highest places and made me feel lower than I ever imagined possible. There was a deep and undeniable feeling between us. It wasn't passion, because it wasn't just physical and momentary. It had something to do with attraction, but not bodily either. We were drawn to each other, even if we didn't choose to.
Hell, it was love.
I easily fell profoundly in love with her and I've never stopped loving her, even when I didn't like her. I knew she loved me too.
But just because there was love between her and I, it didn't mean it was only love, nor that it was easy, or that it was enough.
Or that we should be together.
I was hurting and I couldn't hide it, but I didn't express my feelings the right way, for sure. I'm impulsive and hot-blooded and I talk too much. Because of my short temper I knew I'd hurt Katy as well. But just because I worded my feelings badly, it didn't make them any less valid, and I wondered if Katy's reaction would have been different if I'd talked to her privately and calmly.
Would we be able to fix this? Should we fix this?
I remember the good times very vividly, I still get chills thinking about it, my heart skips a beat. But maybe… it was temporary and it was time to let go.
The high whistle of the kettle snapped me out of my thoughts. After I made my cup of tea, I walked to the living room and sat down on the couch.
It's impressive how my anger had vanished now, being replaced by nostalgia, doubt, restlessness, heartache.
I sighed deeply and looked down at my cup, before taking a sip.
We're chasing this because we think we want it, but we can't breathe because the air is toxic…
I put the cup over the coffee table and took a notebook that was on it with a pen. I leaned back on the couch, sitting indian style, and started writing down some possible song lyrics.
Why does it feel like I'm living through you
Tell me why I'm addicted to you
'Cause I don't even know
Chasing this cause we think we want it
But we can't breathe cause the air is toxic
So tell me where to go
I took a deep breath, feeling a lump in my throat forming.
Ours is a different kind of love
It used to be saving us,
Now it's just breaking us
It's not about just giving up
We knowing that we're safe enough
Do I stay 'cause you say you need me
I craved it more when it isn't easy
How am I supposed to grow?
It won't fix 'cause I say I love you
I need to show but I don't know how to
How am I supposed to grow?
I closed the notebook and lied down, holding it tightly against my chest, as I let the tears fall freely and the sounds of my shuddering breath fill the room.
I woke up and stretched out, feeling some bones popping. My entire body hurt. Note to self: if you plan on crying yourself to sleep, at least do it in the comfort of your bed, not on the couch.
As I walked to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I had some sort of insight from last night. Yes, Katy and I were going through some tough times and we fought and hurt each other, but we loved each other and wanted to be with one another. It didn't matter what our 'destiny' was or whatever. We had free will and we could choose to be together or not, we could choose what to say and do and we could choose to make things work. We could choose to be better people to each other.
Happiness is a choice, and I wanted Katy to be around to share this happiness.
Of course, it wasn't going to be perfect all the time, we would fight and disagree, and that's exactly what will make it perfect.
I was going to talk to her.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled, before realising how terrible I looked, then I frowned. I needed a shower before anything else.
I took my car at around 11AM and managed to get to her hotel with no paps in sight, which was surprising and I was thankful for it.
I didn't remember Katy mentioning if she had any interviews or meetings this morning, I didn't think she did but I decided to check at the reception if she was here.
"She didn't leave the hotel today, do you want me to call her room?" the helpful receptionist asked.
"No, it's ok, thanks." I replied. If I knew Katy, she was probably still asleep and one of the things she hates the most is being awakened by the phone, and I didn't want to get her in a bad mood, of course.
I patiently (and a bit excitedly and a bit hesitantly) waited the elevator to get to her floor, taking the time to practice what I was going to say. I knew I had to pick the right words, even though Katy and I could understand each other's feelings without saying anything, but a conversation was more than necessary at the moment.
The doors opened and I stepped out of the elevator, walking down the corridor checking the room numbers until I found hers.
Ok, we're here, I thought, stopping in front of the white wooden double doors. breathe in and out, Jessica.
After doing so, I knocked a couple of times on the door and waited.
No response or any sounds made inside.
Yep, she was definitely sleeping. Should I wake her up though?
I convinced myself that I should. This couldn't wait. She was going back to New York tonight, for pete's sake.
Until then, I needed our 'situation' to be completely clear and settled.
I knocked a few more times, loud enough to wake her, I hoped. I looked to both of my sides to see if there were other people on the floor, because I didn't want to draw attention, of course.
I finally heard some noises inside the room, then some footsteps towards the door, so I stopped knocking and waited.
She opened the door and the smile I had on my face faded a little. Katy was in her bra and knickers and she looked like a total mess. She looked at me with utter shock and panic in her eyes, which made my stomach turn a bit. I had a bad feeling.
"Jessie? Wha-what are you doing here?" she stuttered.
"I came here to talk." I explained, furrowing my brows. "What happened with you? You don't look well."
"I-I drank… I think…" she replied, rubbing her head. Of course she did. But it didn't matter, I was upset too. My slightly treacherous tour around the city last night and my near dehydration from crying proved that. I knew Katy was one who drank to forget. Or celebrate. Or anything.
"Look, Katy, I really need to--" I began but stopped when I laid my eyes on something behind her. Or rather, someone. A woman. As undressed as Katy was. What the… fuck. She didn't just drink. She fucked someone. I felt a heat wave flooding my entire body with anger. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
She turned her face back to see what I was looking at, dropping her head down when she did.
"I can't believe this! You cheater!" I shouted at her.
"Cheater? Aren't we over?" she screamed back. Wow, how dumb was I?
"I can see you moved on quite fast!" I yelled again. "And you dared to say you loved me!"
And I believed her. And I believed her! I didn't know who I was angrier with, myself or her.
She took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm down and gather her thoughts.
"Jessie, this is not what it looks like." is what she said. One would think she'd manage to come up with a less cliche of a sentence!
"What is it then?" I asked, crossing my arms. Maybe she really has an explanation, I thought deep deep down.
"I-I don't know…" she said, quietly.
"You don't know?!" I fumed. Even though she looked genuinely unsure of what to say, that's not an excuse.
"I don't remember!" she replied. I kept slapping myself in my head for being so naive. To make things better, her pretty little one-night stand decided to flee the scene, passing between us. I felt like pushing her backwards and punching her for touching or even being around my woman, but it wasn't her fault, and Katy was obviously not my woman nor she was going to be.
"Jessie." Katy sighed after we were alone again.
"What? Please, keep going on how you don't remember drinking your brains out and fucking some random chick!" I yelled. I couldn't even think straight at this point.
"What difference does it make?" she asked, annoyance appearing on her tone. "You don't want a relationship with me anyway!"
After everything her and I went through, after all the reflection I did the entire night, that's what I have to hear?
"Why do you think I'm here, asshole?" I asked her and rolled my eyes. "I don't know what I expected from you. I honestly believed everything you said last night and after a lot of thinking I came here to talk about how we can make things work together, but I obviously don't mean half as much as I thought I did to you."
I was almost breaking down again, but out of rage instead of sadness.
"Do you think people go out and drink until they pass out because they're happy?!" she asked, rhetorically. As if 'drinking' was the only thing she did.
"Whatever, Katheryn." I said. "I'm done. Goodbye."
I had no reason to keep this conversation going, there was nothing else to be said. Everything I thought and planned and believed in was trash. All of the pretty words she's ever said to me meant nothing. Everything was bullshit.
I turned on my heels and stomped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me.
Once again, my hopeful and silly heart was ripped out of my chest and burned down to ashes.
When I was thinking about how we can choose to make things work and I wanted her to share my happiness, I forgot a relationship is a two-way road and maybe she didn't want in.
She was right, we weren't together, she technically didn't cheat, but you don't just go around fucking anyone when you truly care about someone else, when you love them.
Right?
I couldn't do this right now. I didn't want to think about her anymore. I didn't want this everlasting pain anymore.
I could say I was wrong and blame all this on 'destiny', say that 'fate' didn't want us together, or the timing wasn't right again, but I can't fool myself - I've been stupid enough - this too was a choice, only not my choice.
It was her choice.
And I'll let go. I'll learn to. And I'll be okay eventually.
But until then, I won't let myself fall for the same weakness again.
A/N: shit guys this was ready yesterday (or the day before idk) but i forgot to update here. anyway enjoy xo
Jessie's POV
The only reason I didn't go home right away was because I couldn't just leave without saying anything, but I was just going to pay the check and make up some excuse so I didn't have to stay anymore.
I got everything I was feeling out of my chest, but I didn't feel better, I felt sick. I suppose deep down I didn't want Katy to go, but to prove that I was wrong and delusional and we were meant to be together.
I thought she'd try to stay.
I wanted her to stay.
But I wasn't aware of these feelings, since they were buried underneath a huge heartbreak and a lot of recently reawakened pain. All I knew was that I felt angst inside my chest and I needed to be alone.
"Hey, what took you so long?" I was asked when I went back to the table. "Where's Katy?"
"She had to leave, something about work, you know, timezones." I lied. "And I actually gotta go as well, I'm not feeling well, I think I ate something bad."
"Hmmhm, right." one of them said, raising an eyebrow. "Get it, girl."
Of course they'd think that. I rolled my eyes.
"It's not that." I stated, but they obviously didn't listen, instead I heard whistles and claps, which was pissing me off. "I have nothing with that fucking woman, ok?! Mind your own business!" I hissed and threw some bills on the table, before stomping out of the pub.
I was fuming.
I would never convince them that I was actually sick, I couldn't tell them the truth about Katy and I and I couldn't stay there any longer.
I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going but I had to get away.
Katy's POV
I walked to the bar and sat at a stool, placing my elbows over the counter and burying my head in my hands, taking a deep breath.
"Tough night?" the bartender asked me, wiping down the counter.
"Yep." I simply replied, without lifting my head up.
"What can I get ya?" he asked. I sighed deeply before finally responding to him
"Scotch." I said, looking up.
I didn't like scotch very much, and last time I had it I passed out, so it definitely wasn't the best idea.
"What's your name?" I asked him, while he poured my glass.
"Gabriel." he said. "And you are?"
"Kate." I replied. "So, do you like being a bartender?"
I didn't know why I was making conversation with the bartender, but I needed anything that kept my mind occupied.
"I do." he said and slid my glass of whisky to me. "Although I only do it to pay for college."
"Hm." I hummed before downing my full glass. I felt the amber-colored liquid burning down my throat and a light dizziness on my head. I scrunched my face. Ah. This was either the worst idea I had or the best thing ever.
"Whoa, easy tiger." he said with a giggle. That accent. I think I should move over here just to hear people talk. "What about you? What are you doing here, so far from Uncle Sam's land?"
"Nah, let's not talk about me." I said, waving him off.
"Fair enough." he smiled. "Do you want another shot?"
No, Katy.
"Yesss, thank you." I said, raising my eyebrows, as he filled my glass halfway up.
"Be right back." he said when two guys approached the counter.
I picked up my glass and swirled the liquid inside it. I let out a cold chuckle and shook my head as I recalled what happened between Jessie and I some moments ago. I pressed my lips against the edge of the glass and took a small sip this time.
I'd waited so long for the right time to talk to Jessie, explain everything, always with some hope we'd be able to get back together, or at least be friends. When it happened, she gave me a chance and we we're moving forward… she says those things, ripping my chest open with those words. It was partly my fault, I'm aware, but I wasn't going to martyr myself forever about something that happened ages ago, I couldn't live in the past, and if she doesn't believe I'll always do everything I can to make her happy and would never hurt her again, I couldn't do anything about it either.
"Hey! Miss America!" I heard someone shout, I looked over to where the voice came from and the woman who took the elevator with me was looking at me and smiling. She was gathered with a few girlfriends at a table close to where I was sitting. "You're gonna stay there alone all night?"
"I'm not alone, I have alcohol." I replied, only half-jokingly, lifting my glass.
"Come on, over here you can have alcohol AND good company, I don't know you but I think that's what you need." the stranger said.
"We don't bite." one of her friends added.
I contemplated for a second and decided to go. I mean, why not? It certainly would be more interesting than talking to the bartender all night. And they seemed quite drunk already, and drunk girls are usually nice and fun.
I got up and walked over to their table.
"Welcome!" one of them said, quite loud. "I'm Bella, this is Rebecca --"
"And I'm Hailey." the woman from the elevator said. Bella had short brown hair and brown eyes, she had red lipstick on and sharp winged eyeliner. Rebecca and Hailey were blondes, the first one had a black dress on, nude lipstick and exceptionally long eyelashes. I would feel underdressed but I had so much on my mind and the alcohol helped me not even bother.
"Nice to meet you all." I told them with a smile. "I'm Katy."
"Nice to meet you too, Katy." Bella replied, feigning an american accent.
"So, where are you from?" Hailey asked.
"Born in California, currently living in New York City." I told them and sipped my scotch.
"Nice." she said. "Why did you move so far away?"
"You know, work..." I said, nodding, avoiding to give too much information.
"Are you here for work too?" Bella asked. Ok, maybe right now we were getting into sensitive territory.
"Yep." I simply responded, which wasn't a lie.
"I feel like I know you from somewhere." the elevator girl commented, narrowing her eyes.
"Erm, the elevator." I said and they all burst out laughing.
"I don't know, though..." she continued, rubbing her chin. "Eh, that's probably it and I'm drunk."
Everyone chuckled again and I went along. The last thing I needed was for anyone to recognize me.
"Shots!" the brunette yelled out of the blue and the other girls cheered.
Honestly, I was already dizzy after the scotch I had, so adding the tequila I could barely remember my own name.
I don't think any of us were forming coherent sentences, we just said random things and started laughing. Jessie definitely wasn't on my mind anymore.
"Kate, Kate!" Hailey exclaimed. "Are you into girls? Because there's one across the bar checking you out for the longest time, look!"
"She's hot." Rebecca stated.
I looked over and there really was a rather attractive woman staring at me with a sultry smirk on her face. She didn't look older than me, but she definitely exuded confidence, which seemed very appealing to me. She had bright red hair and pale skin, and even though it wasn't cold inside, she had her leather jacket on.
"Looks like you do." Hailey said and giggled. "Why don't you go over there?"
I turned my face away from her a little too quickly for a drunk person, it made my head spin.
"No, no…" I said shaking my head. "I mean, sometimes, but I'm not interested."
"Yeah, right." she replied. "If it were me, I'd go for it."
"I'm fine here with you guys." I said, but I was hesitant about it, I'm not gonna lie. The little sober Katy inside of me was telling me that it wasn't necessary and I should go back to my room, I had enough fun for a night. But tequila was speaking louder to me. Maybe going to the restroom and washing my face would sober me up a bit. "Be right back." I told them.
Getting up made me even dizzier and I stumbled as I walked to the bathroom, feeling sick.
I held on to the sink trying to make my head stop spinning. I threw some water on my face, not even remembering if I had make up on.
I thought I'd need to run inside one of the stalls and throw up, but after a couple of deep breaths I felt a bit better.
I was drying my face and hands with a paper towel when I saw the restroom door open and that unmistakable redheaded from the bar walk in. I looked at her through the mirror and she smiled at me, making her dimples appear. She was stunning.
"I hope you're not running away from me." she said, crossing her arms. Surprisingly, she didn't have an English accent. She was American, too.
"I hope you're not stalking me." I replied and she giggled.
"Touché." she said.
"Anyway, I need to go back, bye." I told her and quickly walked out of the bathroom. Was it rude? Possibly. Whatever, she was just a stranger and I wanted nothing to do with her. Right?
My steps got slower and more hesitant. I looked at the girls' table and they were all laughing with half-full glasses in their hands. I looked over at the bar and the bartender was doing some cool stuff with a vodka bottle and I decided to go over there and buy myself another drink. Sure.
I sat down at a stool close to the corner and waited until he finished the one he was doing.
"Why aren't you with your friends?" I heard that familiar voice from bathroom asking and the woman sat down beside me. I looked at her for a split of second and looked away, because she had those mesmerizing blue orbs staring right into mine and it was distracting.
"I want a drink." I said, looking down at my hands.
"Ok, I'll buy you one." she stated and I could feel she didn't take her eyes off of me. I could tell she was a stubborn one. "What do you like? Sex On The Beach? Leg Spreader?"
I widened my eyes at her, involuntarily, earning a dark, sexy giggle from her. I bit my lip.
"Sit on My Face." I said, looking into her eyes, and this time she was the one to raise an eyebrow. "That's one I enjoy having from time to time."
She shook her head, hiding her grin. If she wanted to play, we would play.
The bartender approached us and asked if he could get us anything. After we ordered he quickly made the drinks and handed them to us. The little sober I'd gotten soon became all drunk again.
"You're really beautiful, you know?" the woman told me. Both of us completely forgot to introduce ourselves.
"Thank you." I replied. "So are you."
Our gazes were connected and I couldn't break it. I noticed her glance down on my lips, she was slowly analyzing my entire face and I suddenly felt self-conscious for a second.
"Is it hot in here?" I asked, sitting up straight and staring at the shelves in front of us, filled with countless bottles of all types of liquor.
"It is, actually." she said and started taking off her jacket, revealing a strapless lace bodycon dress underneath it. Wow, she had some really nice… shoulders. She had great shoulders.
"Seeing something you like?" she asked with a flirtatious smirk playing on her lips. I blinked a couple of times and lifted my eyes to meet hers. I gave her a half smile. "You know," she started, leaning forward so her mouth was closer to my ear. "you can do more than just look."
I closed my eyes at the enticement in her voice, her hot breath brushing against my neck. She slowly started to lean back on her seat, letting her cheek graze over mine. I stared down at her lips and impulsively I placed my hand behind her neck, closing my mouth over hers. She instantly mimicked my actions and kissed me back. I parted my lips slightly and she slid her tongue inside my mouth; not a lot, just enough to make me want more. I tilted my head more and opened my mouth wider, deepening the kiss further. I ran my hand along her exposed thigh with my free hand and felt her shiver, pressing her lips more eagerly to mine.
I pulled away, out of breath. She kept our proximity, her fingertips touching my cheeks softly as her alluring eyes analyzed my features.
"Let's go." I said, quietly. I reached for my wallet inside my purse and placed a 100 bill under my glass. I told the bartender I was paying for the girls' drinks also.
The woman started walking in front of me, I had my index finger lightly entwined with hers as she led the way to the elevator.
After a long wait for the elevator and a longer elevator ride barely looking at each other, as there were other people around, we finally got to my room. I used her back to shut the door, while I bit and sucked on the bottom of her neck, making her moan. She put the hair that was falling on my face behind my shoulder and closed her mouth over mine one more time before breaking it off and taking my hand, leading me to the bed.
I sat down and she sat on my lap, with one of her legs on each side of mine, straddling me. The movements made her dress slide all the way up, so I ran my hand over her thighs and squeezed her ass, while she kissed my neck, licking, biting, sucking. God, it felt so good.
She slipped her hand under my shirt and massaged my breasts, before taking the shirt off.
Then suddenly, I felt my heart heavy, some sort of ache on my chest and a lump on my throat. I felt as if I was about to… cry? No, no way.
I tried to control it and hold it back, but I sniffed and it didn't go unnoticed.
"Are you crying?" she asked me, leaning back to look at my face.
"No." I replied, looking down, hiding my face.
"Yes, you are." she stated.
"I'm sorry, I can't let you touch me like this." I said and pushed her off my lap.
"I thought you wanted this." she said, with a confused look on her face. I shook my head and let the tears fall down freely.
"There's only one person I would want this with." I confessed.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm in-in love with someone." I told her, in between sobs. "But we had a fight today and we're over now."
"Aw, babe." she said, putting her arm around my shoulders and I laid my head down on hers. "It was just a fight, I'm sure you can work things out."
"No, no, we can't." I told her, trying to wipe the tears off of my face but it was useless since they just didn't stop falling. "We had dated a while back, an-and I had to do something that fucked things up, it broke her, it broke me." I paused, having sharp intakes of breath. "After a long time, I finally managed to explain everything to her and I thought she'd forgiven me and gave us a second chance bu-but…" I shook my head. "I do everything I can to prove my love to her and make her happy," I kept pouring my heart out, as the sound of my sobs filled the room. "she doesn't believe in me, she doesn't trust me, I don't even think she loves me because she's not even trying!"
"Look, babe, this fight is too recent, you need to have a conversation again, when both of you calm down."
"It's not fair, it's not fair." I said repeatedly. My whimpers didn't seem like they were going to stop anytime soon.
I woke up due to repeated knocks on the door. I opened my eyes and the daylight blinded me. Shit, my head was throbbing and everything was spinning. My eyes hurt and it felt like a train ran over me. I took my hand to my face to cover my eyes from the bright light coming from the windows.
"Ok, I already heard that you're knocking on the door, you can stop now, please." I said, not even close to loud enough for anyone to hear. What time was it?
I turned my face to the nightstand, looking for a clock, but I found something else instead. A woman, asleep.
"AAA!" I screamed and she scrunched her forehead, opening her eyes slowly. "Who are you?"
"The woman from the bar last night." she replied, groggily. What the fuck happened?
I looked down at my body, I was in my bra and underwear, so was the woman. Did we…?
The knocks kept on going, so I got up to answer the door.
"Hold on." I told the woman.
I completely forgot I was half-naked and opened the door without looking at the peephole.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
"Jessie?" I asked, widening my eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I came here to talk. What happened with you? You don't look well." she said, furrowing her eyebrows at me. Thanks, I don't exactly feel well.
"I-I… drank, I think." I replied, rubbing my head. Wow, my hair was messy.
"Look, Katy, I really need to--" she started but stopped when her eyes got fixed on something behind me. Her expression was confused but in a split of second it became anger. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
I turned around and noticed that the half-naked redhead was walking around the room. Great. Just great.
"I can't believe this. You cheater!"
"Cheater? Aren't we over?!" I shouted.
"I can see you moved on pretty fast!" she yelled back. "And you dared to say you loved me!"
I took a deep breath. I had no idea what I was doing, or what I had done that night for that matter.
"Jessie, this is not what it looks like." I said, more calmly this time.
"What is it then?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"I- I don't know." I replied, quietly.
"You don't know?!" she fumed.
"I don't remember!"
"Erm, excuse me." the redhead said as she passed by us, dressed, quickly leaving the room.
"Sure, honey!" Jessie said, sarcastically.
"Jessie." I sighed, after we were alone.
"What? Please, keep going on how you don't remember drinking your brains out and fucking some random chick!"
"What difference does it make?" I asked, getting annoyed again. "You don't want a relationship with me anyway!"
"Why do you think I'm here, asshole?" she rolled her eyes and I stayed in silence. "I don't know what I expected from you. I honestly believed everything you said last night and I came here to see how we could make things up, but I obviously don't mean half as much as I thought I did to you."
"Do you think people go out and drink until they pass out because they're happy?!" I asked her, rhetorically.
"Whatever, Katheryn." she said. "I'm done. Goodbye."
She turned around and slammed the door shut behind her.
I threw my head back and covered my face with my hands. What the fuck is wrong it me? What did I do? Why did I keep arguing with her instead of trying to make things up?
The last thing I remembered from last night was sitting on a bar stool and chatting with the bartender.
Did I really sleep with that woman? It definitely looked like it and that's probably what happened.
How dumb was I?
We do dumb things when we're in love, and dumber things when we're heartbroken. Now I had to face the consequences.
The morning went by rather fast. It was filled with endless phone calls and that made me realise I really needed to go back to New York to deal with business properly, or else everything would be half-assed.
I managed to get a break for lunch, so I stopped by a place to order some take out and meet Jessie at the studio.
When I got there, she was just getting out of the recording booth. I opened a huge smile for her and she smiled back.
"Hey, guys!" I greeted everyone. "Anybody hungry?" I asked as I raised the bags I was holding.
"Nice!" I heard someone said, along with other praises.
I put the bags over the table and people went over there to get their food, meanwhile I walked to Jessie.
"Hey you." I told her, grinning.
"Hi." she replied, shyly.
I leaned into her to give her a kiss but she turned her face, so my lips touched her cheek. I tried not make it awkward because I understood why she did it, I mean, we were in the studio, there were many people around us and I was pretty sure they didn't know about us.
"Sorry." I whispered to her. She shook her head and gave me a reassuring smile.
"So, what did you bring me?" she asked, walking towards the table.
"All sorts of things." I said and she gave me a doubting look.
"Deep fried mozzarella?" she asked and I scrunched my nose, pretending not to have it.
"Yes, I did bring it." I told her, smirking.
"Impressive." she said and winked at me.
I sat down next to her on a couch and we started eating. The energy in the studio was great, everyone was talking to each other and laughing, it was really fun. I even felt a pat of that squad.
A while later, the studio door opened and no one other than ms. Ellie Goudling walked in, also eating.
"Hello!" she belted and I heard several hey's and hi's in response.
"Girls!" she said, approaching Jessie and I. Jessie had already finished eating and Ellie sat on her lap, because it was a two-seat couch so there wasn't room for her.
"What's up, Snow White?" Jessie asked, putting her arms around Ellie's waist. "I didn't know you were in today."
"Yeah, I'm trying to write something with the lads but nothing's coming out good so I'm quite stressed, actually!" she explained, widening her eyes and pressing her lips together.
"Sorry, babe." Jessie said and rubbed her back. "But you came to the right place to chill. Right, Katy?"
"Yeah!" I said and forced a smile. I couldn't deny that I felt a pit of jealousy seeing them like that. Jessie looked really comfortable with Ellie that way, they were physically so close and easy with each other like they did that all the time. Did they? I didn't want to know. What I knew is that I wanted to be the one doing that with Jessie. Shouldn't I be the one doing that?
They're just friends, they're just friends, I told myself in my head.
"Earth to Katy." I heard Ellie say.
"What?" I asked, blinking. I didn't even notice they were talking.
"I was just asking you about X Factor." she said. "By the way, I didn't expect to find you here."
Back at you, I thought.
"Oh, right." I started. "You guys have a lot of talented people around here. I think it'll start airing soon."
"Can't wait to watch it." she said and I smiled at her. "So, what's up with you two?"
"Erm…" I said and looked at Jessie, who raised her eyebrows at me and curved her lips up slightly. "Well, I think Jessie's recording some stuff and I'm working with what I have already."
"That was smooth." Ellie said and laughed.
"Is everyone gonna chat all day or can we get some work done here?" one of the guys asked everyone, rhetorically.
"I think that's my cue" Ellie sighed. "I hope we can write at least one song 'til the end of the day."
"Good luck, babe." Jessie said and Ellie got up, said her goodbyes and left the room.
"Do you think I can stay and watch you for a while?" I asked Jessie. "I don't need to go back right away."
"Sure, no problem." she smiled.
"By the way, what time are you gonna leave today?" I asked her while she walked back to the booth.
"I don't know, probably late, why?"
"I wanted to maybe have dinner with you, if you were available." I said.
"I think the crew and I will go to some restaurant." she said, looking around for confirmation. "You can join us if you'd like."
"Erm, yeah, sure." I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. "It's 'cause I'm, erm, I'm going back to New York tomorrow night."
"Oh." she said, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm telling you now."
"How long will you stay there?" she asked.
"I don't know..." I replied, looking at the floor.
"Well, um, again, if you'd like you can have dinner with us tonight." she said.
"I think I can make it." I stated. "Are you free tomorrow?"
"I have a gig tomorrow evening so we'll probably be doing the soundcheck in the afternoon." she told me, without emotion.
"Well, either way, I'll stay for a song, ok?"
"Yeah, yeah." she said, indifferently, turning around and entering the booth. Ok, then.
"Jess, do you wanna do Casualty of Love from the beginning or go back to it later?" the producer asked her.
"Why don't we do a cover?" I suggested. "Climax, by Usher?"
"Ok, whenever you're ready." he said and Jessie started singing.
Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
We're together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.
I've fallen somehow, feet off the ground
Love is the cloud that keeps raining down.
Where are you now? When I need you around
I'm on my knees but it seems we're
Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.
I gave my best, it wasn't enough
You get upset, we argue too much
We made a mess of what used to be love.
So why do I care, I care at all, at all, at all, at all
Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.
You say it’s better if we love each other separately.
I just need you one more time
I can’t get what we had off my mind,
Where are you now? When I need you around
I'm on my knees but it seems we're...
Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.
I was always fascinated by Jessie singing. Not only she had an amazing voice and technique, but she could also make you feel the songs, even if she didn't write it herself. She could take you to another place with her voice.
I wish I could stay more and watch her, but I had an radio interview scheduled soon, so I had to leave. I got up and waved bye at Jessie, making a hand gesture that I'd call her later.
"Bye, guys." I told everyone and left the studio.
I found it a little weird the way Jessie had behaved. I wondered if it was because she got upset or even mad that I hadn't told her I was leaving so soon, so that's why she was cold; but it was the whole time I was there that way.
No, I was probably being paranoid. She acted that way because we were around other people. I'm sure it was nothing. We'd meet later, I'd try to get us some alone time if possible, and it would be okay. I hadn't done anything wrong. Actually, I didn't even had time to do anything wrong, we'd just come back from an incredible weekend together, which we both enjoyed greatly.
I heard the elevator ding and its doors opened, revealing a glass window with a sound table behind it and a couple of people with big headphones looking at computer screens as a song played. I'd arrived at the radio station, so I had to focus on the interview for now.
"Katy Perry!" a guy greeted me as I walked out. "Welcome! Pleasure to meet you."
"Thank you, the pleasure is mine. And thanks for having me." I said and smiled at him. He knocked on the window, calling attention to the broadcaster, then motioning to me, which resulted on a huge smile and excited wave from him.
"You can go in, if you want, we'll be on in a few minutes." he told me.
"Ok, thank you."
Jessie's POV
I wasn't in a great place today, and it got worse after Katy said she was leaving the next day. I knew she would be here for a limited period of time, since her home was in New York, but it was really sudden. This only made me even surer about how I'd felt the night before, I wasn't being silly.
So I took the time in the studio and put all my emotions in the songs we were recording and writing.
I loved being in the studio because it always made me feel better, and by distracting me, it made time pass really fast.
"Guys, it's 7 already, how about we get some dinner?" I suggested.
"Yeah, I'm starving." one of them replied.
As they wrapped things up I took my phone out to text Katy where we'd be going, because I had invited her and I'm not exactly an asshole not to let her know, just because I was unsure about how things were with us.
We got to the pub and sat down. The waiter came to our table to introduce himself and get our orders for drinks. I got surprised looks and raised eyebrows from around the table when I ordered an alcoholic beverage instead of my usual Sprite. I shrugged to them. A drink after a long and hard day at work might be just what I need.
We were all just doing small talk and unwinding while the waiter got our drinks.
After about 20 minutes we were there, Katy arrived.
"Hey, I hope I'm not too late to eat!" she said, jokingly, and everyone laughed.
"No, we've barely ordered." someone told her.
"Great. Is there an empty seat?" she asked.
"Why don't you seat here next to Jess, I have some things to discuss with Claude anyway." Cez told Katy, motioning to Claude who was sitting on the other side of the table.
"Yeah, thank you." she beamed and sat next to me. "Hey."
"Hi." I replied, forcing a smile but avoiding eye contact.
"So I see you're having some alcohol tonight." she said as she picked up the menu in front of her to take a look.
"Yep." I replied and downed the rest of my drink.
"What goodies are there to eat around here?" she asked while reading through the menu. "What am I saying, food is food, it's always good."
"You know it." I said and giggled.
"Ok, I know what I'm gonna get, where's the waiter?" she asked, looking around the pub, trying to find our waiter, motioning for him to come over when she did.
For a few minutes everyone was talking to each other, sitting back, laughing and drinking, Katy was chatting with the lads, getting to know them better, but I was unusually quiet. I was even slightly uncomfortable, one could say.
Katy's POV
"Excuse me, I need to go to the ladies room." Jessie said and got up from the table.
"I'm coming with you." I told her and pushed my chair back to get up.
"No, you don't have to." she said, dismissing me.
"Well, that's not what my bladder's saying." I told her, furrowing my eyebrows and giggling. She forced a weird smile, deepening her dimples and continued to walk to the restroom.
I got up and followed her, confused.
"Jess?" I asked when I opened the door and saw her standing in front of the sink, looking in the mirror. There was another woman there, but she was just drying her hands and left right after. "Jess, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong." she replied, looking down at the sink as she washed her hands. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow at her, even though she was still not facing me.
"Jessica, I don't know if you think you're fooling anyone, or if you'e just trying to fool me, but I know you." I told her while she dried her hands with a couple of paper towels.
"Didn't you need to use the toilet?" she asked me, throwing the paper towels in the trash.
"Didn't you?" I asked and shook my head at her attempt to brush the subject off. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting how?" she asked, being deliberately obtuse, which was starting to annoy me.
"You know how." I replied. "People may not know about us, but you can treat me like a normal friend, it wouldn't be worse than how you're with Ellie, for instance."
"Don't put Ellie into this." she said and I raised my eyebrows, giving her a look, disbelieving in her response.
"I'm not 'putting her into this', I just mentioned it!" I hissed, trying to keep my voice low. "What's going on with you?"
"Nothing's fucking going on, Katy." she snapped and rolled her eyes. "Leave me alone."
She stomped out of the bathroom but didn't walk back to the table, instead she headed to the exist door, leaving me behind, disconcerted and fuming. After a few moments I followed her, because I didn't get my answer, rather I had more questions.
"Jessica!" I shouted, when I left the pub and spotted her a few feet away. "Is that what you want? For me to leave you alone?" I asked loudly when I reached her in the parking lot. We were alone except for two or three parked cars.
"Well, that wouldn't be difficult for you now would it?" she asked rhetorically and let out a humorless laughter.
"I'm sorry?!" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. "What the hell are you on about, Jessie? Just fucking talk to me, ok? One day we're hanging with each other and everything's perfect and you even wanna fuck me, then the next day you start avoiding me and cutting me out and I have no idea what is going on!"
"Of course, because it's always all about you." she said, shaking her head.
"Excuse me?! I've been doing everything for you, I wanna make this" I motioned between us. "work, I don't push you and I wanna make you happy, but I have no idea what goes on inside your head!"
"You're inside my head! Everything you did and everything I went through!" she shouted and I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. "You know Zach? He's the perfect guy who wanted to have a relationship with me, a functional one, but I couldn't do it because of you."
"Jess--"
"I even had a pregnancy scare when I was with him! Ha! Isn't that funny? And even then I worried about how you would react!" she chuckled humorlessly.
I was frozen, I didn't even know what to think.
"I already apologized, Jessie! I already explained everything! You can't hold that against me forever!" I belted, ignoring the lump in my throat. "Don't you think I feel guilty? But I need to forgive myself and I thought you'd forgiven me! I don't know what else to do."
"Exactly! You don't know! How is this gonna work? Our lives are completely different now, we don't even live in the same country!" she said, throwing her hands up. "Maybe one day you'll wake up and know that what you want isn't being with me, and what will I do then? It took me too long to glue my broken pieces together again and I don't know if I can do it twice."
"This isn't fair." I muttered. "I would never ever do that" I felt my voice break. "I love you, Jessie."
I looked at her and noticed the anger disappearing from her face, being replaced by an apprehensive look. Her lips were trembling, I knew she was about to cry.
"No, I'm not good enough." she mumbled, turning her back to me. "You do make me happy and I'm scared of it because I'm not good enough. We won't work."
Those words. I knew what she was talking about.
"Don't you dare say that, that's not true." I breathed.
"Stop trying, Katy." she said, running her hands through her hair. "I don't--"
"You don't what?"
"Nothing." she replied.
"Tell me." I demanded and she turned to face me again. "Go ahead. You don't trust me, right?"
She looked down at the floor and didn't say anything. I shook my head.
"That's what I thought." I said, feeling an ache on my chest. "I guess we really can't work if you won't trust me."
Jessie stayed in silence and didn't look up. Wow. She couldn't even say a word?!
"Bye, Jessica."
I sighed deeply and started walking towards the street to hail a cab and go back to my hotel. My mind and heart were empty. I was numb. I couldn't process the fight Jessie and I just had and I had no idea what it meant. Were we over for good? Did she want it to be over? Was there another reason for it or she simply didn't have feelings for me anymore and was using our history as an excuse? Did I want it to be over?
I arrived at my hotel and made my way to the elevator. I kept shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I kept my eyes on the landing indicator, impatiently waiting for the elevator to arrive.
After a few minutes, I heard a ding and the doors opened. After a couple of people walked out, a woman who was also waiting for the elevator walked in first and held the door open for me.
"What floor, darling?" she asked with a strong English accent and a smile, after pressing the button for the 20th floor, where the bar was located. She had on a dark red sequin dress, heels and strong make up. She definitely wasn't planning on going to bed anytime soon.
As I was about to tell her my floor, I thought that going to the bar wasn't a bad idea right now.
"Same as you, actually." I said.
"Ok." she said and smiled again.
I knew I was a public figure now and I shouldn't just go anywhere spontaneously and alone, especially if I didn't know what I could do, but I didn't care about any of it at this point. And I was just going to have one, maybe two drinks, some snacks, no big deal.
A/N: so um what kinda flop was my last chapter?? anyways! this one's much shorter and idk if y'all will like it or not or if y'all still reading this. (well on tumblr they all kinda flop anyway but i think you guys still read this but dont say anything nor like them ((as in the like button))) also, i'd like to brag about the fact that katy replied to me and im still happy about it k bye!!
I woke up with Katy's arm around my waist and her head resting on my chest. Her hair was very messy and I noticed a bite mark on her shoulder (which I'm sure wasn't the only visible bruise on her body).
I considered getting up but I decided to stay in bed enjoying this moment with Katy while I could. I starting moving to adjust my body into a more comfortable position but Katy's arm tightened around my waist and she mumbled in her sleep.
"Stay." she said.
"I'm not going anywhere, babe." I whispered to her, even though I knew she was still sleeping.
After a while, Katy moved in my arms and yawned, waking up.
"Good morning." I said to her. She looked up at me with a lazy smile.
"Morning." she replied and gave me a peck on the lips.
"How did you sleep?" I asked her.
"Like an angel." she said.
"You certainly looked like one." I told her and she giggled.
"Were you watching me sleep, Jessica?"
"I had to, you wouldn't let me move and you can sleep for like 48 hours straight."
"Shut up." she said and poked my ribs then pressed a kiss to my lips, and another, and another, before looking into my eyes. "I'm happy. Really happy. You make me happy."
I smiled and kissed her again.
"I'm happy, too." I said. "Thank you for this weekend."
"The weekend is not over yet." she told me. "What time is it even?"
"I don't know, and I don't wanna know." I stated. "Let's just enjoy the rest of the day without worrying about time, while we can."
"Okay." she smiled. "Do you wanna shower? Grab something to eat?"
"A shower sounds good right now." I told her and gave her a lingering deep kiss as my fingertips outlined her figure, feeling her skin shiver under my touch.
We managed to get out of the shower (of course we took one together, naturally) where we were able to analyse all the marks and scratches we inevitably left on each other, avoiding to leave any more.
"I'm really hungry." Katy stated. "For food."
I laughed.
"Me too." I said.
"I think we could go to the restaurant and eat something?" she suggested. "It should be faster than to order something."
"Sure." I agreed. "Plus I think a walk would be good for us, it's such a beautiful day outside."
"Ok, let's go, I'll just grab my purse." she said.
Katy and I sat down at a table in the back of the restaurant, next to a window. After we ordered some breakfast (although it was probably past lunch hour), Katy got up to go to the ladies room. I had some lyrics stuck in my head, so I was distracted, trying to see where it would go. I didn't notice when I someone called my name, until they touched my shoulder.
"Jess?" they said and I looked up. Zach.
"Zach?" I asked, widening my eyes in surprise. "Hi!"
I got up from my seat and kissed him on the cheek. I hadn't seen him in forever. What were the chances of us meeting here? Katy would be back at any second. Was he going to say something? Would he realise she was the ex-girlfriend I told him about? How would I introduce them?
"Fancy meeting you here." he said.
"No kidding." I said and gave a nervous laugh.
"Can I sit down?" he asked.
"Sure!" I said, pressing my lips together as he sat across from me.
"You know, I've been thinking about you lately, Jess…" he started. "I was almost giving you a call, actually."
"Oh, really?" Oh, no… I thought. I looked to the side and saw Katy making her way towards the table.
"Hey." she said with her brows slightly furrowed in confusion.
"Erm, Katy, this is… Zach. Zach, Katy." I introduced both, hoping for the best at this encounter. I moved to the side and Katy sat down.
"Nice to meet you." she said, politely.
"You too." he replied.
"So, um, Zach, what are you doing here?" I asked him.
"I'm here for a wedding." he said. "Actually, as I was saying, I almost gave you a call to invite you to come with me."
"Oh…" I said and raised my eyebrows. I noticed Katy looking at me but I didn't look at her.
"But, even though we haven't properly talked in a while, you're kind of a superstar now so I know you've been touring."
"Yeah, I have the weekend off so I came here to breathe and relax." I told him.
"I need to get ready for the reception, and you two are here to eat, probably, so I'll leave you two to it." he said, getting up. "We need to meet up sometime in London, catch up and stuff."
"Erm, sure." I nodded. Oh gosh, what was he thinking about?
"Bye, girls." he said before walking away.
"Zach?" Katy asked me, with a look on her face. "Who is he?"
"A friend." I simply replied, without facing her.
"I see." she said. "Do you think our food will take much longer to come?"
Was that it? She wasn't going to ask any more questions about him? Was it obvious that we weren't "just friends"? Well, I definitely wasn't going to bring this subject up again.
Short after that, our food arrived. We ate with no rush, exchanging glances and touches, discretely.
Later we slowly made our way back to the house, enjoying the beautiful sunny day outside. We were walking really close to each other and our fingers brushed against each other's lightly, causing us to look at each other and smile constantly.
Katy's POV
The day went by way too fast for my liking. In no time we were standing in the reception with our bags, checking out of the hotel and on our way back to London, back to our busy schedules, back to spending too much time away from each other. The worst part is that in two days I was going back to America and I'd have to stay there for an indefinite period of time. Jessie didn't know about it yet, though.
I didn't know how this was going to work, I didn't want to think about it before I had to, I knew I was going to make it work. I didn't even know what 'this' was. I don't think it was time for us to have a DTR just yet. I didn't want to push Jessie.
I'll figure it out later.
I sighed and looked over at Jessie, she was sleeping. We've been driving for almost 2 hours, she fell sleep after we were on the road for about 40 minutes. I didn't mind, I liked to watch her sleeping, but it was kinda boring to be driving without anyone to talk to, and with the radio turned off.
Jessie woke up when we entered London. She groaned, stretched and rubbed her eyes.
"Are we almost there?" she asked in a husky voice.
"Yeah, we're about 15 minutes away from your flat, according to the GPS."
"Back to the real world, then." she sighed deeply.
"Tell me about it."
After a few more minutes of small talk, I parked in front of Jessie's building.
"Do you need help taking your things up?" I offered.
"You're not going up?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"I can't, I have a bunch of stuff to do, probably more than I imagine, since I didn't even look at my phone for two days." I explained and noticed some disappointment in her features. "Sorry, babe."
"It's ok, I understand, I'm sorry too." she said and gave me a small smile, making her dimples appear. I placed my hand on her cheek and gave her a kiss on the other.
"Maybe we can meet for lunch tomorrow?" I suggested.
"I'll be in the studio all day…"
"I could take something there for all of you guys, if that's ok." I asked and saw a smile forming on her lips.
"That would be perfect." she said. She unbuckled her seatbelt and wrapped her arms around my neck, giving me a kiss. "Thanks again for the weekend, Katy."
"It takes two, you know." I said. "Thank you, too."
"I'll see you tomorrow then, I guess." she said, as I examined every detail on her face. Gosh, her beauty never ceased to amaze me.
"See you tomorrow." I replied. She kissed me again, slowly and chastely. She pulled away and bit her lip, beaming, before opening the door and getting out. She opened the rear doors and grabbing her luggage.
"Bye, kittycat." she said and shut the door.
I smiled and shook my head. Everything felt like a dream. Jessie made me feel like I was living a dream. That made me sure that no matter how busy we were, or how far away from each other we could be sometimes, we would make everything work out. I would never throw away something that makes me feel this way, and this was just the beginning.
I got in my hotel room singing, happily. I turned my phone on and scrolled through my emails. I read some things that I knew were going to stress me, but I decided not to think about them right now. Nothing was going to ruin my mood. I texted Archie to meet with him the next day where he would advice me on how to deal with these things. Everything would be ok, I didn't need to worry.
I also gave Sarah a call. She went back to New York with me when I had to go back, but she couldn't come to London this time. She knew all about Jessie and I and what I had planned for our days off, so I needed to update her on how things went. She squealed and was elated for Jessie and I. She also said she knew we wouldn't be able to take things so slow, they'd gone slow enough as they were, which made me laugh.
We talked for a few more minutes and I decided to hung up because it was late and I was tired. Soon I'd be back in New York and Sarah said we needed to have a 'girls' night in', when we'd talk properly. I honestly see myself and Sarah having girls' nights in and gossiping and all these things even when we're 60. I mean, why not? I doubt it'll ever stop being fun and we'll always be girls, duh.
Jessie's POV
I got home and left my bags in the middle of the living room, before falling on the sofa and covering my face with my hands, smiling.
"Look at you!" I heard Natalie's voice out of the blue, which startled me. I took my hands off of my face and looked at her. "You look like a teenage girl! That's so cute."
"I do not." I said. "I'm just… happy."
She sat by my side.
"I can see that, you're glowing." she stated. "And you look like a teenage girl."
"Whatever." I giggled and looked away from her.
"Now, the weekend clearly went really well." she started. "But how well? Like from watching the sunset and cuddling to hot, all-night-long fucking, how well did it go?"
"Natalie!" I squealed, feeling my face burn.
"C'mon, Jessica, you're gonna play shy now? I asked a simple question." she said.
I shook my head and laughed. I really shouldn't be surprised by her line of questioning.
"I guess the entire scale." I said.
"You go, girl." she replied. "Was she as good as you remembered?"
"You know, I think it was even better." I told her.
"Ooh, nice!" she said. "Tell me more! Since, you know, I myself haven't been getting any action lately."
I started telling her about everything, from the hotel being amazing, to everything I felt around Katy. I couldn't help but smiling throughout the whole story. I left out the bit where we saw Zach, because that was irrelevant.
"Aw, Jess, I'm so glad you're happy." she said. "Do you think you're… in love with her?"
The smile on my face faded a little. Love. So many things started going through my head, so many feelings, old ones, new ones... I was brainstorming, it felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs, I couldn't explain it.
"I-I…" I stuttered. "We're both so busy, we-we live in different countries, the industry… I-I…"
"Jess?" she asked. "Are you ok? I don't understand what you're saying, but you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"I'll take a shower, I'll talk to you in the morning. Good night." I said and got up from the couch, walking quickly to the bathroom.
I don't know how much time I spent in the shower, probably like 5 minutes. Or 40. I'm not sure. I wasn't in my right mind.
I laid in bed, my mind blowing up.
This weekend was perfect, just perfect. I felt thoroughly content. I had many happy moments these past months, even year, I couldn't deny it. But the last time I felt this carefree and joyous was… with Katy. In New York. I was on cloud nine, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world for having Katy come across my life, for having such an incredible woman interested in me, completing me when I never even thought I was incomplete, she gave me the strength pushing through the ordinary life I was living to get to my dream and made every single day we spent together special and memorable.
Until… Until she decided she didn't want it anymore. Without a warning, she threw it all away. Crashed my heart, my entire being. I know we were together for a relatively short period of time, but that kind of connection can't be measured by a calendar. I never thought I'd be in so much pain and for so long because of the end of a relationship. She made me question so much, about life and myself. I can remember the exact words she said to me to this day, as if it's just happened.
Something else that hurt me was seeing her on a date less than a week later? Which showed me that clearly she meant more to me than I ever did to her.
You're not good enough kept ringing in my head right now, over and over again.
Yes, she explained everything to me, I know she was hurting too, I forgave her and we put this behind us.
But… the thought that she can make me or break me in a second was too much. It was overwhelming.
I couldn't breathe.
What was happening? Breathe, Jessie. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.
Why was I feeling this way? I was healed. I should be healed. Come on, I just had an amazing weekend with Katy. We were great.
We really were.
I think that was the problem. I was too happy. We were too good to be true.
Katy had a massive power over me and my emotions. Who can guarantee that in two days I won't be trying to pull myself together again after another heartbreak?
I knew Katy cared about me, but I couldn't let her be my wings when I'm flying 3 thousand feet in the air, I can't fall again, I won't fall again.
That day was the last day we spent together, because after that our schedules got crazy busy. Katy had to go back to New York for a couple of days, then she was all day, everyday working on The X Factor, and I was travelling everywhere for gigs and interviews. I think I was so jet lagged I didn't even know what jet lag was anymore.
During these last two weeks I had barely even spoken to Katy, or anyone else for that matter, except for the people who were literally around me.
"When are we going back to London?" I asked my manager during lunch, as I tried to get some food in my stomach. I was so exhausted I had no appetite.
"In two days, Jess. I told you yesterday, when you asked." he replied and I huffed. "I know you're tired, we all are. If you physically can't take it anymore, we can try and reschedule the next gigs and interviews, but chances are they'll just be cancelled for good."
"No, I can do this. It's just two more days." I said and forced a smile to him.
"Come on, we should get going, we have a 45-minute ride to our next location, you can get some sleep in the car." he told me.
I tried calling Katy, but her phone was off, so I turned mine off as well and walked to our car.
Katy's POV
During our quick lunch break from the London auditions, I took my phone to check some emails and texts. I saw that Jessie had called me twice earlier, but when I returned the call it went straight to voice mail. I sighed. I got so frustrated when I couldn't reach her, and I rarely could. Of course I wasn't mad at her, since she was as busy as I was, I just wish we could spend more time together.
The auditions would end on friday, and Jessie had her weekend off this week, so I was thinking of planning something for us both, a surprise for her. I was tired and she was tired, so I just wanted us to do something together to relax and enjoy each other. I just had to figure out what.
"Katy, you need to get back now." one of the producers told me. I left the barely touched bowl of salad over the table and opened a package of gum, putting one in my mouth, then walked back to the judges table, and waited for the next contestant.
There were so many talented people in this town, it was amazing. Of course, there were many people who were simply disasters, which could be quite fun and funny at times; but a lot of them had raw and unique talent and voices and regarding those, I want to be able to buy their CDs one day.
After two days of some terrific and some dreadful auditions, X Factor moved to the next city, and I could rest for the weekend, and spend sometime with Jessie. She was going to arrive this evening, and I decided to wait for her at her apartment. I didn't have the key to it, but I had talked to Natalie about it and she would let me in, of course.
Jessie's POV
After my plane landed we still had to wait half an hour to get our luggage, plus 20 minutes to go home from the airport.
All I wanted to do was take a hot bath, but it was too much work to put it together now, so I would probably just fall on my bed and sleep for 12 hours or more. I opened the door to my flat and felt this amazing smell of food, which confused me because Natalie doesn't cook, ever. I walked in and the kitchen was empty, so I moved to the living room, leaving my baggage aside. The table was very nicely set for two, which was even more weird and unlikely something Natalie would do.
"Nat? What's going on?" I asked aloud, waiting for her to appear. "Am I interrupting something?"
As I started making my way through the house to try and find her, I saw Katy emerging from the hall.
"Katy?!" I asked, confused, but happy to see her. "Did you do this? Where's Natalie?"
"I did and I'm not sure where she is, but she let us alone tonight." she replied and walked towards me, smiling.
I felt my shoulders relax and I walked to her, wrapping my arms around her neck and pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
"I missed you a lot." she said, giving me a tight hug.
"I missed you, too." I replied, breathing her in. Being with Katy automatically made me feel better and less tired. I pulled away from the hug to look into her beautiful blue eyes for a moment.
"What are you staring?" she asked softly.
"Nothing, I just… get lost in your eyes." I confessed. "And you're really beautiful."
I saw her cheeks warming up and she turned her head away, breaking our eye contact.
"Come on, let's eat." she dropped her arms from my waist and grabbed my hand, leading me to the table. "You're probably tired and starving."
She pulled my chair and I sat down, then she served me and herself before sitting down in front of me. I took some of the food to my mouth and was surprised by how good it tasted.
"Hmm, Katy, this is delicious!" I stated. "Did you cook this?"
"Ha!" she laughed spontaneously at my question. "Thank you, Jess, but you know very well that I just can't cook."
"Then how did you do this?" I asked.
"Let's not ruin the magic." she said and I chuckled.
The dinner went on with light conversation and laughter - the food was delicious and along with Katy's company, it relaxed me. Even though I hadn't rested, I felt infinitely less tired and stressed. I shouldn't be surprised with how good Katy makes me feel, but I was.
"Are you gonna spend the night?" I asked her, while we took out the table.
"If I'm allowed to…" she replied.
"You are, obviously." I smiled at her.
"Then yes." she said. "But aren't you exhausted? I don't wanna bother you."
"As if, Katy." I told her. "Yes, I am tired but right now, you're the one thing that can't bother me."
"In that case, can I offer you something to help you unwind?" she asked as she walked behind me. "A massage."
"A massage?" I asked and felt her hands on my shoulder, squeezing them gently.
"Yes. I'm sure your muscles are sore and a massage - my massage - will help you sleep much better." she said in a quiet voice, close to my ear. "Trust me, I can play the guitar and some piano, you know my hands are good."
I felt my body shiver as she kept rubbing my shoulders and neck.
"Okay." I simply replied and we made our way to my bedroom.
Katy's POV
"Do you wanna change into some comfortable clothes or just take these off and use a towel?" I asked Jessie. "My intentions are pure, don't worry." I giggled.
"Yeah, I'll change"
After we both changed, Jessie lied down in bed with her back up, a little hesitantly, I could notice. I climbed in bed afterwards and sat on her butt, then I placed my hands on her shoulder blades and applied some pressure. I squeezed her shoulders with my fingers then moved down to her spine, making small circles with my thumbs on each side of it, all the way down.
I could already feel that her muscles were more relaxed and she was definitely less tense.
"Hmm… that feels really good, Kate." she said, softly.
"I told you."
After a few minutes, I finished rubbing Jessie's back and pressed a kiss behind her neck.
"So, how are you feeling now?" I whispered in her ear.
No response.
"Jess?" I asked and waited a moment, still no response. "You're asleep."
I got off the bed and covered her with the sheets and she moved slightly. She looked so beautiful and peaceful sleeping. I smiled. At least this way I know my massage really was relaxing. I hope.
I walked around the bed and lied down on it next to Jessie, careful not to wake her (even though I didn't think she'd wake up easily or anytime soon).
I quickly drifted off to sleep as well. I too was drained from the last weeks, and I was feeling rather content with where I was right now.
Jessie's POV
I woke up alone in bed. I didn't remember seeing Katy going to sleep. Well, I didn't remember going to sleep at all. The last thing I remembered was getting an amazing massage from Katy, it was so good that I accidentally let out a few moans, but I couldn't help it.
Oh. I fell asleep while she was still massaging me then. That's a bit awkward. Maybe it was for the best, because I want to take things slow and having her hands and fingers working on me like that, I probably wouldn't have a lot of self-control regarding what could happen next.
I had no idea what time it was or where Katy was. I wondered if she'd gone home after I fell asleep. I hope not.
I got up from the bed and walked to the kitchen, where I saw Katy and Natalie sitting down and talking, which they stopped doing after they saw me.
"We were almost going to check if you were breathing." Natalie joked.
"What time is it?" I asked them.
"Nearly." she replied.
"Oh, my God!" I said, widening my eyes in shock. "Why didn't you guys wake me?"
"It's ok, we know you were tired." Katy said.
"Anyway, it's been great talking to you, Katy. Now I'll leave you two for your plans." Natalie said. "I'll be in my room."
Natalie walked by me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Plans?" I asked Katy, confused, and sat down where Natalie was before.
"Yeah." she replied and sipped the juice she had in her cup. "I wanted to make a surprise for you..."
"I'm not following..."
"Well, we've both been working our asses off lately, and we've been away from each other so I tried to think of something we could do together, but something fun and calm at the same time."
"Okay...?" I furrowed my eyebrows, but I was getting excited. "What are we gonna do?"
"We're going away for the weekend." she said. "It's nothing big, it's just to get away from everything for a couple of days."
"That sounds refreshing." I said, smiling. "But where are we going?"
"You'll see when we get there, now you should go pack."
Katy's POV
Half an hour and a stop at In-n-Out later, Jessie and I were in the car on our way to Babington House. I was driving, since she didn't know where we were going. It was a two-and-a-half-hour trip, so we had a lot of time to chat and sing along to songs on the radio.
When we left London, the weather was cloudy and it looked like it was going to rain, but as we drove away from London, the sun started coming out, which was great.
I saw a sign indicating the entrance to our destination. After we passed the main gate we drove for a couple more minutes until we arrived at the main house, where we're supposed to check in.
"Katy, this place looks amazing!" Jessie said, staring out of the window.
"I know, right?" I said, parking the car. "Looks even more beautiful than it does in pictures."
We got out of the car with our luggage and started walking to the house through the cemented path, admiring the beautiful landscape around us.
The house was beautifully decorated inside. It had high ceilings and luxurious furnishing that gave the place a classy and vintage look, yet rustic.
We approached the reception table and were welcomed by a warm smile by the lady standing behind it.
"Good afternoon." she said.
"Good afternoon." Jessie and I replied. "We have a reservation under Katy Hudson."
She typed something in the computer in front of her and after we filled out a paper she gave us regarding the reservation and payment, she told a young man to accompany us to where we would be staying, a room called Walled Garden, which was in another house.
The - very polite - young man talked us through activities provided by the hotel and its facilities, along with a short version of the hotel history. Our room had a small living room, with an antique fireplace, a wooden coffee table in front of a three seater sofa, a french Provençal armchair by the corner, along with more vintage furnishing. One of the walls was covered in pastel green wallpaper and the other one was a brick wall. The place was filled with this lovely lilies scent. There was a small wooden stairwell that led to the bedroom and bathroom upstairs. The whole setting gave the room a cozy and charming air.
"Are you two sisters?" he asked, genuinely, and I held back my laughter.
"Erm, no, we're… not." Jessie replied and giggled.
"Oh." the guy said, blushing.
"We're… good friends." I told him. I myself couldn't say what Jessie and I were at the moment.
"I see. Well, th-this is your room, if you need anything, call the reception and I'll come by. Enjoy your stay." he said, quickly and nervously.
After he left I laughed out loud.
"Poor boy, he was so embarrassed!" Jessie said, chuckling.
"I know." I laughed again. "Do we even look like sisters, though?"
"Well, we're both white with dark hair and light-colored eyes…" she said.
"This…" I started as I pulled Jessie closer to me by her waist. "would be a little wrong if we were sisters."
I closed my eyes and brushed my lips against hers.
"Yeah." she breathed and grasped my lower lip in between her teeth, tracing her tongue along it afterwards, sending a wave of electricity through my entire body. I dug my fingers into her hair and tilted my head to the side, opening my mouth, giving her all the access she wanted. She placed her hand along my jaw as our mouths moved rhythmically, our tongues traced over each other with no rush. I slid my hand down her back and pulled her closer to me. My heart was beating so fast I wondered if Jess could feel it.
We pulled away and I let out a shaky breath. I opened my eyes to see Jessie with hers still closed, and a smile formed on her mouth. I traced that line softly with my thumb and gave her a peck on the lips.
"Do you wanna take a look around this place?" I asked her. "Maybe check out the pool?"
"Yeah, that sounds good." she said.
We put on our swimsuits and some loose and easy clothes over it. We got out of the room and I entwined my fingers with Jessie's as we started walking through the beautiful gardens surrounding us. We were the only ones outside at that moment, the other guests were probably at the spa or the restaurant or just doing any of activities offered by the hotel; that was good, because this kind of privacy was extremely rare, unless we were inside our homes.
Jessie's POV
After walking everywhere, we decided to sit down at some cushioned loungers by the pool and wait for the sunset.
During the entire afternoon we talked a lot, about everything, the conversation had a natural flow and it was never awkward. Right now, we were both in silence, comfortable silence, just sitting next to each other and enjoying each other's presences. We knew what each other was thinking without the need for words. I felt… joy. I was truly happy. I could stay in this moment forever.
Katy was resting her head on my shoulder and playing with my fingers, staring at the horizon, occasionally looking up at me and giving me a sweet smile. I knew she was happy too.
I used my index finger to draw Katy's jawline and make her look up at me again, and when she did our lips connected automatically, naturally. Since it was almost dusking, the air was a bit chilly, in contrast to the warmth I felt inside when I was with Katy. Her mouth left mine and moved to my chin, jaw and along my neck, slowly. I felt her warm tongue against the pulsing point on my neck and I felt a tingle down my spine. Involuntarily I tilted my head to the side, giving her more access to my skin, and entwined my fingers on her hair.
Her hand ran up and down my side as her mouth met mine once again, passionately.
Before our kiss - or hot make-out session - got too intense, I pulled away.
"Katy, Katy…" I said. "Someone can show up here at any time, kids even!" I laughed.
"Right, right." she said, getting some distance from me and fixing her hair. "Got a bit carried away."
"We did." I said and we both giggled.
I sighed and cuddled by her side, breathing her in, as we both looked up at the now dark sky. It looked really beautiful, we could so many stars, since the only source of light there at the moment was coming from the pool (which was beautiful, too).
I didn't remember when was the last time I had stargazed away from the city, it was really breathtaking.
"Do you wanna grab some dinner?" she asked. "We haven't eaten anything since we left London."
"Can we order something in the room?" I suggested. "The restaurant will probably be full and I don't want to be around too many loud people right now."
"Sure, babe." she said and smiled sweetly.
We got up and slowly made our way back to our room, holding hands and exchanging romantic glances every now and then.
Katy's POV
After we got in the room, I went upstairs and decided to light up some candles while Jessie picked out something on the menu for us to eat. I noticed there was an iPod amplifier next to the TV, so I decided to plug mine in and play some The Weeknd.
I turned back around and saw that Jessie was behind me, which startled me.
"So, do you know what to order already?" I asked her.
"I think so." she said and took my hand in hers and kept swinging them from one side to the other, playfully, before pulling me closer to her.
"Is it good?" I asked, wrapping my arms behind her neck, as she wrapped hers on my waist.
"I don't really know." she replied and gave me a peck on the lips, then another one, and another longer one. I stared deeply into her eyes, always fascinated by them.
"You're beautiful." I told her and noticed her blush and deepen her dimple.
She closed the distance between us one more time and slid her tongue inside my partly opened lips. I angled my head to the side and opened my mouth wider, letting her take the lead. She could do anything she'd like, she owned me, I didn't care.
Jessie started placing open-mouthed kisses down my neck, making me moan quietly.
"You know, I-I'm not really hungry right now." I whispered, while she still sucked on the bottom of my neck.
"I agree, dinner can wait." she said with a husky and demanding voice, setting me on fire.
I held her head with both of my hands and crushed my mouth to hers again, almost violently. She made me walk backwards until I hit the wall behind me. Her hands started traveling all over my body, before slipping under my shirt and quickly unclasping my bikini top. She grabbed both of my boobs through the fabric of my shirt as she scraped her teeth on my neck, making me gasp. Her leg was in between mine, applying pressure to my center, arousing me even more. I brought her mouth back to mine and squeezed her butt.
She ran her hands up both of my sides, sliding my shirt up. I raised my arms, allowing her to remove it above my head. After dropping it to the ground, she traced a line with her tongue down my neck and collar bones, leaving some bites along the way, until she reached my breasts. She took one inside her mouth and swirled her tongue over the nipple, making me moan in pleasure. Her hand was rubbing me through my pants and everything was almost sending me over the edge.
"Jess…" I breathed her name.
I removed her top, and as I was about to turn us over and take control, she slipped her hand inside my pants and my legs went weak. I groaned and shuddered and scratched her back a bit too roughly. I pulled away from the heated kiss and swallowed hard. My chest heaved rapidly with heavy panting. I was intoxicated by her. She was all I felt in all my senses. Her scent, her touch, her taste took over me.
"Did you just…?" she asked, with a wicked smile on her face.
"Shut up." I said and pushed her back until she fell on the bed.
Jessie's POV
Katy was sitting on my hips, with her legs on each side of my body, just staring down at me. I was looking up at her, admiring her as well. Her hair was slightly messy and a thin layer of sweat covered her, which reflected the candle light in the room. It was one of the most beautiful visions I'd ever seen.
She brought her face closer to mine and kissed me again, slowly yet ardently. She kissed my chin, my cheeks, my neck, my shoulders. I sighed and ran my fingertips along her figure, gently. Her kisses started traveling down my body, lingering on my breasts before moving to my stomach. She started pulling down my pants, placing more kisses where more skin became exposed, making me shiver.
She got rid of the piece of clothing and started kissing up my legs. She traced a line on my inner thigh with her tongue and I sucked in a quick breath, contracting my stomach involuntarily. She looked up at me with a dirty look and a lascivious smile.
Her lips were so close to where I wanted her, but she wasn't doing anything but teasing, and that was driving me crazy.
I slowly entwined my hand in her hair, but she removed it and held both of my hands on the side of my body, making me throw my head back on the pillow, groaning in frustration. My groan became a gasp when her tongue slid over me, delicately at first. I could feel myself getting wetter by the second.
She closed her whole mouth against me and her tongue worked on the spot ruggedly. I squeezed her hands and thrusted my hips up, trying to get closer to her, even though we were as close as possible. She circled my clit with her tongue and I felt myself getting closer to the edge. She suddenly penetrated me with her tongue, hitting the perfect spot right away, making me climax instantly.
I screamed in pleasure with the unexpected (and strong) orgasm. It felt like my blood was boiling, my muscles tightened. Katy managed to extend the aftershocks because she didn't stop working on me after I came.
When my moans lessened, she licked her lips and kissed her way up my body and our mouths met again, even more passionately than before, but easily.
"Do you wanna grab that dinner now?" she asked, drawing circles on my stomach. "I think we'll have a long night."
"Sounds good." I replied and gave her a peck on the lips.
A/N: yooo! look who's back! me! i'm not dead! you know why? because legends never die! #buylegendsneverdieonitunes xo
"So..." I started as I walked in. "Did I come fast enough?"
She furrowed her eyebrows at me and laughed.
"Ok, now that I heard it, it sounded wrong." I said and laughed too. "Let's change the subject."
"I think I'm hungry." Jessie said. "The last thing I ate was those sweets at the movies."
"Me too. Do you wanna order something?" I asked her.
"I could make us something, if that's fine by you?" she suggested.
"That's even better actually." I told her and smiled.
"Soup?"
"Perfect."
Jessie's POV
A few minutes later, the soup was ready. While I cooked it, Katy wondered around the kitchen, once in a while she asked something random, but when we weren't talking she kept singing under her breath, and I don't think she even noticed it, and I didn't say anything about it because I was enjoying it.
I took the pan to the table, that has already been set by Katy, and we sat down to eat.
"Jessie, this is so good!" Katy said. "I don't know how you managed to do this so quickly and without even planning it. You can do magic in the kitchen."
"Wow, thank you." I said and giggled. "If I may say so myself, it's good."
"I still don't know where you learned to cook like this." she said, taking the spoon to her mouth.
"I think I kinda learned alone? I've always liked to eat, of course, and I loved being in the kitchen." I stated. "My mum taught me some things but mostly it was just me mixing things up."
"On my case, I just do the eating part."
"Which you do very well." I said and winked at her.
The rest of the dinner was pleasant and our conversation had a few more innuendos. I hadn't planned to have such slightly dirty chat with her, but it seemed to happen naturally, and I don't think either of us had a problem with it.
Katy's POV
After we cleaned up, we moved to the couch to watch some TV, but at the moment most channels had only infomercial on, which we decided to watch anyway because they were funny.
A few minutes later I wasn't paying attention to the TV anymore. In the beginning I was just distracted by Jessie's laughter that I loved so much; that thought led to another and another and suddenly I was just daydreaming about the girl next to me. Occasionally I'd glance over to her unintentionally and smile, mesmerized by the effortless beauty in front of me.
"Hey." she said at one point. "You still awake?"
"Yeah." I replied and let out a chuckle.
"Are you sleepy?" she asked, sitting sideways on the couch facing me, putting her arm over the couch backboard.
"Not a lot." I said. "You?"
"Me neither." she said and my lips curved up in a small smile. I couldn't help but smiling when looking at her.
"I noticed you're wearing the necklace I gave you." Jessie said. "I noticed it the other day too."
"Yeah, I never take it off. I haven't once, as a matter of fact." I told her and held the small anchor between my thumb and index finger.
"Never?" she asked.
"No." I said and chuckled.
"I know what you did." she said, looking down at her hand.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"I know that you tried to get me a record deal." she explained.
"What-- I--" I stuttered. "H-How do you know?"
"It's ok, Katy." she said and gave me a reassuring smile. "My agent and I became good friends, and one day I asked about how he heard about me and he said it was a favor for someone. At first I was angry, thinking that you had done it because you felt sorry for me or that you thought I couldn't do it alone."
"No, no, that's not why--" I started but she interrupted me.
"I know, I know." she said and gave me a half smile. "But I was also worried that I hadn't got signed because of my talent, but as a favor for someone. But Guy reassured me that the favor was just to listen to me, that he would never sign me if I wasn't good enough, he said he was impressed by my talent and that I deserved to get signed, that he wished he'd found me sooner, even."
"He's right, you have a gift." I told her.
"Thank you." she said.
"You have nothing to thank me for."
"I do. You know, you cared." she said.
"I still do." I told her.
"I know." she gave me a small smile.
My arm was over the backboard of the couch as well, my hand a few inches from Jessie's. I noticed she was looking at our hands as well after she saw me. Slowly I slid my hand over the backboard to reach hers, hesitantly. Since she didn't move her hand away, I took the liberty to touch her fingers slowly with my own, then entwining them. I rubbed my thumb over hers, caressing it, and looked up to smile at her. She looked down, trying to hide the grin that formed on her lips.
I felt like my heart was beating so fast that I could almost hear it.
I took her hand and pressed my lips gently on her fingers, closing my eyes in the process. When I opened them back up I saw Jessie blushing as she bit her lower lip and I smiled, putting her hand down.
"Do you wanna go to sleep?" she asked me.
"Oh! I just remembered, I didn't bring anything, I just got my purse and left quickly."
"I thought the point of you coming over was us being together keeping each other from any possible terrors of the night because of the movie? You're going to sleep in my room, with me." she stated.
"Okay." I said and smiled.
Jessie's POV
I woke up and blinked a few times trying to adjust my sight to the sunlight coming through the window. I felt hot and for a second I wondered if I'd left the heater on, but then I remembered Katy had slept over. She had her arms around my waist and her front was pressed to my back, and we had blankets over us, which was making me more than warm.
Her breathing was still slow - it was also brushing against my neck - so I assumed she was still asleep. I didn't want to wake her up but I had to get up, so I slowly untangled her arm from me and made my way to the bathroom, then to the kitchen to make some breakfast for Katy and I.
I was almost finishing it when I heard a knock on the door. I looked at the clock on the wall - something I hadn't done today yet - and it marked almost 9:30. I had no idea who it could be at this time, maybe the landlord? I walked to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Ellie, again. I sighed and opened the door.
"Ellie…" I started.
"No, no, Jess, let me talk, I'll be quick." she said.
"Ok, go on." I crossed my arms.
"I'm sorry. For real this time." she began. "You're amazing and I love you and I know that you love me and we'll be just friends, I know, and I'm fine with that. I need your friendship and I wanna stay in your life, I don't wanna lose this" she motioned between us. "because I'm being stubborn and stupid."
"It's ok, Ellie. I love you and you'll never lose me." I told her and squeezed her shoulder.
"Ok. Good." she nodded and smiled. "Can I get a hug before I go? I can see that you just woke up and I don't wanna bother you anymore."
"Of course, babe." I told her and pulled her in for a tight hug.
"I love you." she said. "Thanks for not cutting me out."
"I would never." I stated and we let go of the hug.
"So, we'll talk later." she said. "Bye."
"Bye." I replied with a smile, closing the door as she walked away.
A few moments later I heard footsteps and Katy appeared on the kitchen door. I was kind of relieved she didn't come out while Ellie was still here.
Katy's POV
I woke up and smiled before I opened my eyes, remembering where I was. I took a deep breath as I opened my eyes. The bed was empty. I ran my hand over the space by my side and the sheets were cold, so Jessie probably got up a while ago. I moved over to her side and breathed in her scent on her pillow.
I decided to get up after a few moments, I couldn't just stay in Jessie's bed forever and I wanted to spend more time with her. I started walking towards the bathroom to freshen up and fix my make up since I didn't take it off to sleep, and I had to look good, of course.
I was on the doorway when I heard Jessie's voice, she was talking to someone, so I stopped to see who it was.
"We'll be just friends, I know, and I'm fine with that." I heard Ellie's voice. "I don't wanna lose this."
"You'll never lose me." Jessie said. I was curious about what was the story with these two and I wondered if I should ask Jessie about it. Although I believe that if it was something that really mattered - or that mattered to me - or that affected whatever I had/could have with Jessie, she would be honest with me and tell me herself.
I heard the door closing and quickly walked to the bathroom so Jessie wouldn't catch me eavesdropping.
"Hmmm, what's that smell?" I asked, walking in the kitchen.
"Eggs, sausages, pancakes…" Jessie replied. "I also made coffee and juice, I didn't know what you'd want."
"Anything is good for me, thank you."
"Come sit, let's eat." she said and I pulled out a chair to sit down.
"So, what are your plans for the day?" I asked Jessie as she poured some orange juice on two glasses for us.
"I have nothing planned really." she replied. "But I've barely touched my phone so I could've missed something. I'll check it out later. And you?"
"I have nothing today. Tomorrow morning I have the Marie Claire shoot, which will probably take all day, but today I'm free."
"Good, we could do something together if you'd like."
"You wanna take me out? Pay the bet?" I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Yeah, I wanna get it over with as soon as possible." she said, rolling her eyes.
"I'm not hurt because I know you love spending time with me."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that." she said but couldn't contain her giggle. "Let's clean up, then we can watch a movie and go bowling later, maybe?" she suggested.
"That sounds great to me." I smiled at her.
We got up and took the dishes to the sink and I started washing them, even though Jessie tried to argue me on it, I insisted.
"You can dry them and put them away." I told her.
"Oh, you're giving me orders in my own home?" she asked rhetorically.
"Yes." I replied, matter-of-factly.
"Ok, then, boss." she replied and I laughed.
I was washed the last plate and gave it to Jessie, as she was putting it inside the cabinet above the sink I splashed some water on her.
"You did not just…" she started, not looking at me, and I threw more water at her. "This means war."
She pushed me to the side with her hip as she put her hands together under the sink to throw more water at me.
"No!" I screeched and tried to splash more water at her.
"Stop!" she yelled, laughing, throwing some more at me. I grabbed her arms to keep her from doing it again. She tried to fight my grip but stopped when she looked at me. We locked our gaze and both of us stopped chuckling right away.
My heart skipped a beat. We were so close to each other, I felt like I couldn't breathe right. My mind went blank, all I could focus on was her beautiful green eyes looking right into mine.
"Erm…" I began but I really couldn't form a sentence.
"Erm, I-I think…" she started, blinking several times. "we should… change… or take a shower." she took a step back and I let go of her wrists.
"Right. Right." I agreed, looking down. "I'll change into the clothes I came, I'll put these in the washing machine."
"Don't you wanna take a shower too? I can lend you some clean clothes." she asked me.
"Yeah, ok, if it's no bother…" I said giving her a weak smile.
We were interrupted by my phone ringing. I walked to the living room and reached for it inside my purse, that I had left on the table the night before. I checked the caller ID and it was Archie.
"Hey, Arch, what's up?" I asked when I answered the phone.
"Hi, Katy, I have some news for you…" he said, I couldn't tell by his tone if the news were good or bad. "I went to your room and you weren't there so I decided to give you a call."
"What is it, Archie? Please don't tell me they're bad news." I asked him.
"Don't you wanna meet up for lunch so I can tell you in person?" he suggested.
"I wanna know now. Tell me." I demanded.
"This will be my last month at the label." he informed me and my stomach dropped.
"What?! Why?! Were you fired?" I asked him, desperately. "What am I gonna do there without you, Archie? I can't do it!"
I looked at Jessie and she was giving me a concerned look.
"Katy. Calm down." she asked.
"How am I gonna calm down?!"
"I got offered a job at another label, a better one." he said. "And I'm taking you with me."
"What?!" I asked, confused.
"Your contract expires this month as well, and this new label is willing to take you."
"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed and a beam appeared on my face. "Oh, my God!"
I started squealing and Jessie gave me a weird, confused look. Without thinking I just wrapped my arms around her neck and pressed my lips to hers. It took me a few seconds to realize what I was doing, and when I did I pulled away quickly, agape.
"Archie, I gotta go." I said on the phone before ending the call and putting it in my back pocket. "Erm, I'm-I'm sorry." I told Jessie, who had the same look I had on her face, but she softened her expression a moment later. "I-I wasn't thinking…"
"Don't worry, Katy." she said, and curved her lips up in a smile. "It's ok."
As soon I started breathing again, I noticed her taking a few steps on my way. What was she doing? My mind was empty, the butterflies on my stomach were crazy.
She kept the eye contact with me until she was just inches away from me. Her eyes dropped to my mouth for a moment. She brought her hand to my face and ran her thumb over my bottom lip softly, then did the same to my jawline, her eyes following every movement. She rested her hand on my neck and brought her face even closer to mine, rubbing her nose against mine gently, as my eyes fell shut. Then I felt her lips being pressed against mine and the world stopped spinning, my heart raced even faster than before and everything felt just right, for the first time in so long.
She tilted her head to the side and took my lower lip in between hers. I took my hands to her waist and brought her body closer to mine, she entwined her fingers in my hair, lightly.
After a few moments she pulled away and I opened my eyes, to see her smiling with her eyes still closed. She opened them up and I returned the smile.
Jessie wrapped her arms around my neck as she closed her eyes and made our mouths meet again. I slid my tongue over her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to me, allowing me to taste it fully. Our tongues danced around each other slowly and passionately. At that moment, nothing else mattered. The world disappeared. If I could stay in this moment forever, I would. Her lips on mine was all I needed. Her flavor lingering on my tongue was my favorite thing in the world.
We had to pull away reluctantly so we could breathe, but we kept the proximity.
I contently sighed and smiled at her. She bit her lip and pressed her head to the crook of my neck.
"Gosh… I never wanna stop kissing you." I said and felt her giggle against my neck.
"I didn't know how much I missed your kiss." she told me, lifting up her head and looking into my eyes.
"If it's up to me, you'll get tired of it." I winked at her.
"I don't think that's possible." she replied.
"I hope not, but we have time to find out." I said.
"But first, I think we really should shower and change, I don't wanna risk getting a cold and losing my voice, and I wouldn't want you to either."
"I agree." I said, tilting my head to the side, admiring her features. "You go first, I should probably call Archie back."
"Ok, I'll be right back." she said and gave me a lingering peck on the lips.
"Go or else we'll stay like this forever." I told her and dropped my arms from her waist.
"You're right." she giggled and hesitantly rushed to the bathroom.
A/N: I was going to update on friday, but I fell asleep. on saturday night i had technical dificulties (lol) with my laptop. buttttt if i had updated sooner this chapter would have been a lot shorter probably. don't hit me guys. i've been super busy (and will be for a while) so i can only write on weekends. i love you all and thank you so much for reading/liking. <333 ps: chapter 26... is this ff getting too long?
I kept staring out of the car window trying to recognise something, since Katy wouldn't tell me where we were going.
"Are we almost there?" I asked her, impatient.
"I have no idea, to be honest, but we're probably not far." she said, grinning, probably really amused by lack of patience. I took a deep sigh and sat back on the seat.
After a couple of minutes, I felt the car being parked, so I looked outside the window again.
"We're going to the London Trocadero?" I asked, beaming.
"Yes." she said.
"I love this place, Katy!" I told her, excitedly.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes! I haven't been here in years, though." I said.
"Then we should get going. I'm excited!"
We made our way inside and Katy told me to follow her, even though she seemed unsure about where she was going, since she'd never been there before, but I didn't say anything, watching her a little lost was fun.
"Here! I think it's here." she said, stopping in front of the Star Command.
"Lasertag?" I asked.
"Uh-huh. Do you like it?"
"I love it, but I think I'm a bit rusty." I told her.
"So am I." she said.
"So I guess we're on the same level."
"Are you ready to lose?" she asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.
"I'm gonna win." I told her.
"You wanna bet?" Katy asked.
"Sure." I said.
"So, the winner can pick the movie we'll watch later and the loser… the loser has to take the winner on another date, how about that?"
"Hmm… it's on." I said and we shook hands.
Katy's POV
We went inside, got our equipment and started playing. There were other people and a few kids with us, but Jessie and I were solely focused on beating each other. It was dark and the only lightening was neon lights on the walls and obstacles, and a few blinking lights on our vests and guns, so it was hard to see who you were aiming at, but Jessie's purple hair glowed with the black light, which was an advantage for me.
After 30 minutes of running around, hiding, laughing, yelling at each other, our set was over, according to a deep futuristic voice on the speakers.
"God? Is that you?" I asked, jokingly. "You better say I won, I have your son's name tattooed on my wrist."
Jessie laughed.
"Stop trying to blackmail God, Hudson."
"You're right, I don't need to, I already know I won because I'm better." I shrugged.
"Aren't we cocky?" she asked rhetorically. "I think you should wait until they tell us the real winner or else you might disappoint yourself."
Turns out I really did beat Jessie, so I kept bragging about it to her, even though she gave me an annoyed face.
"Don't be sad, darling." I said, pouting jestingly "Win some, lose some."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, whatever." she crossed her arms.
"I'm gonna pick the mo-ovie, you'll take me o-out." I sang.
"Oh, no! I forgot you like Star Trek!" she said. "Please, don't pick anything like it."
"I'm the winner, I'll pick anything I want." I told her and she gave me another look. "Ok, ok, I'll stop."
She rolled her eyes, so I hugged her shoulders, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
We were interrupted by a little girl, who was probably around the age of 10.
"Excuse me, are you Jessie J?" she asked Jessie.
"Yes, I am." she replied with a smile.
"See, mum, I told you!" the little girl yelled looking at a lady behind her.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but she really loves that money money song." the mother explained.
"Don't worry about it, I love meeting fans, my heartbeats." Jessie told the woman.
"Is it ok if she takes a picture with you?" she asked.
"Yes, of course!" Jessie said and kneeled down next to the girl, putting her arm around the little girl's shoulders and smiling widely. After the mother snapped the pic, she thanked Jessie and the girl hugged her again before walking away with her mom while squealing about just meeting Jessie J.
"Are you used to it? Fame?" I asked her as we walked.
"Erm, no." she replied and let out a giggle. "I don't think I ever will be, really. Are you?"
"No." I said. "I thought I'd like the attention but it's much worse than I imagined, especially the behind the scenes of this industry."
"Have you ever considered giving up?" she asked me.
I sighed.
"All the time." I admitted. "But when I go on stage I remember why I'm really in this for, it gives me the strength."
"I know what you mean." Jessie said.
"And you. You've also given me the strength." I told her.
"What?" she asked, turning her head to look at me.
"I had to keep going because of you. I lost you because of this industry, I couldn't let that be for nothing, I couldn't let them win." I said. "I knew I'd eventually run into you again, somehow." I gave her a small and cheerless smile.
"Katy…" she started but I interrupted her.
"No, today's supposed to be a fun day, we need to be happy and talk about good things and not think about the past. Right?"
"Right." she said with a sigh and I smirked.
"Look, the Rainforest Cafe. Are you hungry?" I asked.
"A bit, yeah." she replied. "Even if I weren't, I wouldn't decline a tour through the Rainforest Cafe, please!"
"Awesome, then let's go. Rawr!" I exclaimed and showed my teeth. "I'm sorry, I don't know what that was."
Jessie laughed. "No, please, do it again, I love it."
"No, stop, let's go in." I told her, laughing.
Jessie's POV
We walked around the restaurant, observing all the scenery and cute - and realistic - animals there before sitting down somewhere to order our food. The place was filled with families and kids, everyone was laughing, playing or simply had a smile on their face. It felt great to be around genuine happiness like that.
Our meal was also had plenty of laughter and joy. We shared happy stories about our childhood and the good times we had with our siblings. I got a bit nostalgic about the time I was just a carefree little girl, but I am satisfied about where I am now in life. Every phase of our life has special and unique moments. In a way, I was still a kid at heart, like Katy said, and I could get in touch with my inner child more deeply when I came to places like this.
"Do you wanna check out Believe It Or Not? They have some freaky shit there." I suggested after we finished eating.
"Ooh, yes! I love freaky shit!" she replied and I laughed.
Katy's POV
After seeing the most bizarre stuff at Believe It Or Not, we left the Trocadero and took a cab to The Aubin Cinema. While we were in it I was checking what they were showing and Jessie was looking at my phone with me without saying anything, she knew that there was a possibility I'd choose something opposite of what she said.
"Why go with a light romantic comedy such as Just Go With It when we can watch… Grave Encounters!" I said, already clicking on it to check out the next showtime.
"A horror movie?" she asked.
"Yes. Problem?"
"Nope." she said pressing her lips together. "I love horror movies."
"Awesome, then!" I told her and put my phone away.
A few minutes later we arrived at the theatre. After we bought our tickets we made our way to the snack bar to buy some candy, even though we'd just eaten not long ago. One simply can't watch a movie without snacks.
"Do you wanna go in already?" I asked Jessie, since it was almost time for the movie to start.
"Sure, we need to get a good seat and I don't wanna miss the previews."
The room didn't have many seats because all of them were big armchairs or sofas, so people could lie down and be very comfortable. Each one had a small table next to it, to place snacks and drinks. In the last row, the sofas were made for couples (or whoever wanted to share a bigger spot with someone else). Surprisingly, the were no free armchairs, so we took a two-seater sofa in the back. Good for me, I thought. No, I didn't have ulterior motives with Jessie, if that's what you're thinking, but if she wanted to hold my hand or something when she was scared, I wouldn't complain. Maybe I would be the one who would need assistance from her, in that case I hope she doesn't hold it against me after the movie ended.
Shortly after we settled on our seats, the lights were dimmed and some trailers started being shown. A few minutes later, they turned off the lights completely, which meant the movie was starting. I looked at Jessie and she had a huge grin on her face, I guess she really did love horror movies. I opened my bag of Haribos and turned my attention to the silver screen.
Jessie's POV
After 92 long minutes and many scares and shocks, the movie finally ended and I don't know how my heart was still inside my chest.
"Oh my God." Katy said, her eyes wide open and still glued to the screen.
"I know." I said.
"I think we should get out." she said.
"As soon as possible, please." I told her. We were about to get up when I realised we were still holding each other's hands so tightly our knuckles turned white. I had grabbed Katy's hand during the first scenes and didn't let go once. Many times I also tried to cover my eyes by pressing my forehead to her shoulder, and the rest of the times she was the one doing it.
"That was not a good movie to watch at night." she said once we were outside the cinema.
"I don't think that watching it during the day would help anything, I'd still be scared shitless for days." I stated.
"Yeah, me too. What even was that? I'm genuinely still freaked out, I don't even know." she said, shaking her head.
"Tell me about it."
"And now we need to go home, oh gosh." she said, covering her face with her hand.
"What if, um, you came home with me?" I suggested, a little hesitant. "Natalie is visiting her family, so I'm alone, and I'm too scared…"
"Oh. Tha-that'd be great, actually. I'd love that." she said.
"Ok, let's get a cab because I will not take a tube at night after just watching that damn movie." I told her.
"Oh, yeah, I agree." she said. "It also reminds me of The Midnight Meat Train, so the subway is a no-no."
The ride was silent, we were both probably still dismayed thinking about the movie.
When we arrived, I paid the driver and we got inside the building.
I quickly turned on the all the lights close by when we got in the flat.
"So, um, this is where I live." I told Katy, since even though she'd came to the building, she never came inside the flat. "I know it's not fancy, but it's better than where I lived in New York."
"It's a great place." she said looking around. "I loved your apartment in New York too, though."
"Yeah, I guess it was good for a period of time." I replied. "But I think my home is London."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I'd live somewhere else if I had to, for work for example, but I'd come back." I told her. "Anyway, do you want anything to drink? Tea? Peppermint tea is soothing for me, and I think we need to calm down."
She laughed. "Peppermint tea it is."
"While I boil the water, you can make yourself at home, maybe see if there's anything cheery on the telly, something to take our minds off of the terror of that film." I told her.
"Good idea." she said and I gave her a smile before going in the kitchen.
Katy's POV
I was going through the channels and saw that All About Steve had just started. I had already watched it - and loved it - so I wouldn't mind watching it again. It was funny, so it was good as a distraction from the angst of Grave Encounters.
"Jess, have you watched All About Steve?" I shouted to her from the living room.
"I don't think I have." she replied.
"Good, 'cause you're gonna." I said.
I sat back on the couch and got comfortable while Jessie was still in the kitchen. I took my phone and texted Sarah, telling her I was at Jessie's and didn't know if I would go back to the hotel tonight.
'ha! weren't you gonna be a gentleman? slut' was her reply.
shut up, it's not that I texted her again.
ok, whatever you say xoxo
I read it and shoot my head, before putting my phone away again.
"I think this movie really is good, you can't stop laughing." she said, emerging from the kitchen after a few minutes. "Here." she handled me a mug of tea and sat next to me.
"It is." I told her and sipped the tea. "Hmm, the tea is good too."
"Thanks, it's one of my talents as a British person."
"Right." I giggled.
Jessie took off her shoes and crossed her legs in indian style.
Suddenly the intercom rang and I jumped, startled, then looked over at Jessie, who laughed at me.
"Don't laugh! You're the one who invited me over because you were too scared." I told her.
"You're right, sorry, sorry." she said.
"Aren't you gonna pick it up?" I asked.
"I'm not waiting for anyone and Natalie isn't here." she replied, but the intercom rang again.
"Are you sure?"
"If it was an emergency I would've received a call or something, they wouldn't come over."
"Okay." I said and we turned our attention back to the movie.
Moments later there was a knock on the door and I widened my eyes to Jessie.
"Jessie! I know you're there!" the person on the other side of the door said. "I saw the lights on!"
"Excuse me." Jessie said to me and quickly walked to the door.
"Ellie, what are you doing here?" I heard her saying after opening the door, and I saw Ellie standing there.
"Why are you ignoring me?" I heard Ellie asking.
"I'm not ignoring you." Jessie said.
"You ignored my text! We need to talk." Ellie said and stomped inside, uninvited. "Oh." she said when she saw me. "You're ignoring me because of her?"
"I already said I'm not ignoring you, Ellie." Jessie told her, trying to keep her voice down. "This is not the time."
"Of course, you're too busy with your ex-girlfriend." Ellie said, giving me a side eye.
"Um, you two clearly have something to talk about…" I said, getting up from the couch. "I think I should go now."
"No, Katy, stay, Ellie is leaving." Jessie told me.
"I'm leaving?" Ellie raised an eyebrow to Jessie.
"You are, I already told you this is not the time, you didn't even call."
"You know, I think it's the best if I leave, we'll talk later, Jess." I said and put the tea mug on the coffee table. "Bye."
I grabbed my purse and walked out of the apartment.
Jessie's POV
"What are you doing, Elena?" I asked her, throwing my arms in the air.
"What are you doing?" she asked back. "I opened my heart to you that night and you left and didn't talk to me since then. And don't act like you didn't like it!"
"You're just a friend to me."
"Who do you see as more than a friend? Her?" she asked and motioned to the door. "Remember how she crushed you? Do you really think a relationship with her will work? She'll eventually just break you again."
I knew what Katy had done to me, of course, how could I forget? I remember all the pain. But it wasn't any of Ellie's business, and above all she couldn't use that as an argument to try and convince me to be with her.
"Ellie." I said, as a sign for her to stop talking.
"Why? Why can't you give me a chance?" she insisted.
"Ellie, you're my friend. Please, I don't wanna hurt you, I don't wanna lose you." I said.
"You won't! We can work together!" she stated, taking my hands in hers.
"No, Ellie." I said and crossed my arms, taking my hands off of hers.
"Ok, ok." she said. "I get it. I'll go home now."
"Ok, see you at the studio." I told her.
She was still standing close to me, so I didn't notice her moves, before I knew it her hand was on my jaw and her lips were on mine, she pulled away before I could do it myself, with a smile on her face.
"Bye, Jessie." she said and walked to the door, closing it behind her.
Katy's POV
I arrived at the hotel but didn't go to my room, I went to Sarah's.
"What are you doing here?" she asked when she opened the door. "What happened?"
I sighed and walked inside.
"I went to the movies with Jess and we watched this horror movie, she asked me to go to her house with her since she was too scared, and so was I." I started. "Then I was watching TV with Jessie, it was all good, and Ellie Goulding showed up."
"Did Jessie invite her?" Sarah asked.
"No!" I said. "And they sort of started arguing? Ellie wanted to talk about something and Jessie was trying to get her to leave, I didn't understand anything, so I decided to leave. And Ellie seemed bothered by me?! I only met her like three times, talked to her properly once, and she was nice, I have no idea what I did to her."
"That's weird." she said.
"Maybe they are or were involved in some way but things didn't go well? And maybe they started going bad after I came along so she blames me?!" I pondered.
"Can't you ask Jessie about it? She is going out with you, she wouldn't be if she didn't want it."
"I guess you're right." I stated.
I heard my phone beeping, notifying a new text.
"It's her." I told Sarah after I opened the message.
"What does it say?" she asked.
"hey, katy, i wanted to apologise about earlier, i don't know what's gotten into ellie, she was out of line, sorry you had to leave and a sad face"
"That's good. That's good. What are you gonna reply?" Sarah asked me.
"That it's fine?" I said.
"That doesn't seem like it's fine, elaborate that, unless you want her to think that it's not fine." she said.
"How about it's ok, I didn't take it personally, I hope she isn't too scared to sleep tonight'?"
"That's better I think." Sarah said. "Send that, let's see how she replies."
So I did, and I got another text almost right away.
i'm still in the living room with all lights on actually, i don't think i'll sleep tonight haha
"Oh, oh." Sarah said. "Do you think that's a window for you to offer to go back there?"
"I don't know, do you think so?" I asked her, biting my lip.
"Do you want to?"
"I wouldn't mind." I told her.
"Then ask her."
would it help if i went back? I texted.
She immediately replied.
J: usually i'd say i don't wanna bother you, but i am scared and it would be nice. so if it's no trouble…
I KNEW ELLIE LIKED HER!! I love your fic!!! You are a great writer. I was wondering if you could check out my first fic? It's just a preview of the full one but I would love to hear what you think.
haha thank you! yes, sure, i’ll read it and give you some feedback :)
I arrived at my hotel room and Sarah was obviously there, waiting for me.
"Hello, friend." I said, sitting across from her on the table.
"Look what time it is, Katheryn." Sarah said, lacing her fingers together over the table.
"I'm aware of the time, thank you, Sarah." I told her, mimicking her actions.
"You slut."
"Excuse me, I was no such thing tonight." I said, bringing my hand to my chest with a gasp.
"Do you think you fool me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm speaking the truth."
"Then tell me about your date - which I'm assuming went really well - and you being a lady for once." she asked.
"Ok, so I admit it was awkward at first and I was getting really worried, because it was always so easy for us to talk to each other and then it wasn't." I started. "But after a while our conversation started flowing and from that point on the night just got better and better."
"Really?" she asked, beaming.
"Yeah! And after we left the restaurant we went for a walk and lost track of time, which is a good sign, right? So I walked her home, since it was nearby."
"And the goodnight kiss?" Sarah asked, excitedly.
"I gave her a kiss, on the cheek." I said and started taking my heels off.
"Why on the cheek?! Is that what a lady would do?!" she asked and I laughed.
"I think that's exactly what a lady would do."
"No, no, no. You know how dates work. Especially one with someone who's already so special for you!"
"It's not like it was easy, ok? I had to use all the strength I have to stop myself from just grabbing her and tasting her lips again, several times." I explained.
"Then why didn't you? Do you think she didn't want it? I think she wanted it."
"Well, from her dazed reaction after I kissed her I think she wouldn't have complained." I said and I could see the question mark on her face, still not understanding why I hadn't done it. "You know our situation is complicated. This was just the first date after all this time, after so much that happened, after so much ache… I can't just go and kiss her. I think."
"Wasn't this date exactly the first step to leaving all that behind?"
"You have a point." I admitted with a sigh. "I just need to know where we stand now, I think."
Jessie's POV
A little before 8 I was in front of Ellie's house. I knocked and heard her footsteps then the door being unlocked.
"Hey, Jess!" she greeted me then hugged me.
"Hi, babe." I said as I walked inside. "You're really serious about this cooking, aren't you? Cute apron."
"Thanks." she said and giggled. "Now I need to get back to the kitchen, excuse me."
"Do you need any help?" I offered.
"No, you're my guest." Ellie replied. "Why don't you put some music on instead?"
"Okay." I said and walked to the huge cd holder she had next to the radio and analised the hundreds of titles of all types of genres she had there.
"So, how was Australia?" I asked her whilst I decided what album to put on.
"It was quite awesome, actually. We went to a zoo of some sort and I got to hold a koala." she told me.
"Ugh, koalas are so cute, I love them."
"Yeah, and it's nice to get some sun and warm weather. Not to mention the people that are wonderful, and their drinks."
"I love their accent." I stated as I took one of the CDs out.
I ended up going with The Ego Has Landed by Robbie Williams and then walked back to the kitchen. I glanced around the living room and the dining table was already set, with flowers and candles lit over it, which I found slightly strange but decided not to question Ellie about it.
"This smells really good, Ellie, what are you even making?" I asked standing by her side and looking inside the pan.
"Since you're this incredible chef, why don't you wait until we start eating and try to guess what it is?" she suggested and winked at me.
"Who am I to turn down a challenge made by Ellie Goulding?"
"Daring Jessie J… I might use that to my advantage, be careful." she said and her tone definitely had some innuendo to which I didn't reply.
"Did the cat get your tongue?" she asked after a few moments.
"No." I said then stick my tongue out to her, making her let out a chuckle.
"What do you wanna drink?" Ellie asked while washing her hands. "Sprite? Wine? Champagne?"
"Wow, champagne is an option? How fancy." I said. "I think I'll go with wine."
"Ok, can you grab a couple of glasses over there while I open the bottle for us?" she asked pointing at the cabinet.
"Sure."
I got the glasses and she poured the drink for us, taking a sip of hers then putting it over the counter and going back to the stove to check on the food.
"It's all ready." she told me. "Now, go take a sit and I'll meet you in a second."
Katy's POV
I woke up too early for my liking, but I didn't have a choice since I had work things to solve. I had a quick breakfast and headed for my first meeting, which was about The X Factor. All the other judges were there, but I couldn't talk to them properly since all of us had separate meetings of our own.
At the end of it, we'd taken care of all the contracts and we had the dates when the auditions would start. The producers also said that the other judges and I would go to a couple of talk shows to talk about the program, but that would happen after it started airing.
Three hours later I was in the car heading for the Marie Claire offices to talk to their staff.
There we discussed the theme of the photoshoot and when I'd be available for it. We would need a day or two, since I had to give them an interview as well.
Later I was again in a car, heading for another meeting where I'd decide with my producers if we should release a new single soon. If we did, I wouldn't be able to promote it well, but me being on The X Factor was a good enough promotion.
Jessie's POV
Ellie and I had finished the meal and were sitting across from each other in silence. The candles were already halfway burned and I noticed Ellie staring at me with her head tilted to the side. Before I could ask her why she was looking at me like that, a slower song started playing and she started singing along to it, so I decided to just watch her for a while. I really loved her voice and I loved watching her sing, she was unique.
"Why don't you play me something?" I said after the song ended.
"You really want it?" she inquired as a smile formed on her lips.
"Of course." I replied, shrugging. "I haven't had the opportunity to go to one of your gigs in a while, luckily I can watch you sing privately sometimes."
"Okay, just let me get my guitar." she said as she rushed to the other room and came back with the guitar in her hands heading to the couch and I followed her. I sat sideways, facing her.
After she stroked a few strings warming up, she started playing the notes to a song most people were familiar with and I absolutely adored, Elton John's Your Song.
"It's a little bit funny/ this feeling inside/ I'm not one of those who can easily hide/ I don't have much money/ but girl if I did I'd buy a big house where/ we both could live…" she went on with her eyes closed, just occasionally looking up at me. "so excuse me forgetting/ but these things I do/ see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue/ anyway the thing is/ what I really mean/ yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen…"
When she finished the song I applauded her, she giggled hid her face with her hands.
"That's really good, Elena." I told her, resting my arm on the backboard of the sofa.
"Erm, thanks." she replied, blushing.
"I think it's so cute how you're a singer who performs in front of thousands of people but still gets shy like this."
"I think it's easier to perform in front of thousands of strangers than in front of one person who's so important to you." she said as she placed the guitar on the floor resting it on the couch. "You make me nervous."
"C'mon, Ellie, we've been friends for a while, I don't see a reason for you to be nervous." I said.
"Yeah, I know we're friends but…" she started, looking down at her hands.
"But?" I asked.
She looked around the now silent living room and gave me a look.
"What?" I asked, even though I had an idea what she meant.
"You know I really like you, Jessie…" she said.
"Ellie…"
"You've never even thought about me in… a different way?" she questioned.
"You are really attractive and funny and sweet, but…"
"No buts." she interrupted me and moved closer to me on the couch.
"No, Ellie…" I said tensed up as her face got closer to mine.
"Why not?" she asked, her gaze dropping to my lips for a few seconds. "Is it because of that ex of yours?"
"No- not only that." I replied, not moving a muscle.
"Stop me if you don't want it." she said as she started to close the small distance left between our faces.
I didn't move.
She pressed her lips softly against mine and I didn't move, I simply closed my eyes and let her. When she noticed I didn't protest, she placed her hand on my jawline and pressed her mouth harder on my own. I automatically took my hand to her waist and brought her body closer to mine. She slid her tongue over my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, allowing her to deepen the kiss, even though I wasn't entirely sure of what I was doing.
I let her take the lead as she explored my mouth with her tongue. Her fingers were entwined in my hair and I ran my hand up her back, gently. She started laying me down on the couch, lying on top of me, but in that moment something hit me and I realised that we shouldn't be doing that. I pushed her back and stood up from the couch.
"No, no, this is wrong." I told Ellie, shaking my head.
"Why is it wrong? Didn't you like it?" she asked, kneeling on the couch, trying to reach for my hand to pull me closer again.
"We can't, Ellie, I'm sorry." I said and turned around, walking fast towards the door, grabbing my purse on the way.
When I got outside a rather chilly breeze hit me and made me regret not bringing a coat, but the cold was good to wake me up and make me think about everything that just happened. So Ellie had feelings for me. But I wonder since when she's felt like this…
It never seemed like she saw me as anything but a good friend. She even talked to me about who she was into or some hook ups. She had never looked at me the way she's been lately. I would have to talk to her about this later, then we'll clear this up.
What I know for certain is: I shouldn't have kissed her back. I don't see her that way and now I gave her the impression that it is a possibility.
I couldn't deny that she was a good kisser, though. A kiss that I didn't plan on trying again.
After walking a couple of blocks, a cab passed by and I waved to it. My place wasn't so close to Ellie's and I didn't want to walk around London streets at night alone.
I gave the driver my address and pulled the phone out of my purse to check it. There was a missed call and a text from Katy. I sighed and opened the text.
hey, Jess, I tried calling but you're probably busy. I was wondering if you were free tomorrow? maybe we could do something in the afternoon? call me or text when you can :) x Katy
I have a meeting tomorrow and a few things to do at the studio, but I am free after 3… should I tell her that? I didn't want to seem too available, but I already missed her call tonight. And I kind of really want to see her. I started texting back.
hi, Katy. sorry to have missed your call. I have a few things scheduled tomorrow, but I can rearrange them and be done with everything until around 3PM, is that good for you? x
I put my phone back in my purse and stared out of the window. Before I could drift in my thoughts I felt my phone vibrating. It was a reply from Katy.
K: that's great :) can I pick you up at 3:30?
J: wow you're still up?! i thought you were asleep. and yeah, 3:30 is good. do you have anything to do in mind?
I sent the text and the cab arrived at my building. I paid the driver and went up. When I got in the flat I was surprised that Natalie was already asleep. I checked my phone and Katy had replied again.
you know I can't sleep early. and i do have something planned. :)
I went to my room and changed into my pajamas, brushed my teeth and tucked myself into bed before texting her back.
J: what are the plans?
K: you'll find out tomorrow. ;)
J: tell me now, i need to get ready.
K: just wear something comfortable and casual
J: katy! just tell me.
K: I won't tell you, you know it
J: ok, fine. but are there chances of us getting dirty or something?
K: possibly not
J: possibly???
K: i'm joking. there are no chances of us getting dirty or anything like that.
J: ok, good. haha
K: I wouldn't take ms. ocd somewhere filthy now would I?
I smiled at that. She remembered my kinks and cared about not making me uncomfortable.
J: yeah, I don't think you would…
K: of course, trust me
J: i will. now i think we should both go to sleep, right? goodnight x
K: yeah, i guess. goodnight jj sleep tight :) x
I read her last text and placed my phone on my bedside table. Was I rude? Too cold, maybe? Well, maybe.
I turned over in bed to try and sleep when I heard my phone vibrating with a text again. It was Ellie.
jess, are you there?
I sighed. No, I wasn't going to respond to it right now. Whatever conversation we'd have, even if not about the recent events, would lead to that topic. And it couldn't happen right now let alone through texts. I put my phone back over the bedside table and tried to empty my mind and drift to sleep fast.
Katy's POV
I woke up at 10 and already excited about the day ahead of me. I got up from the bed and was surprised that Sarah wasn't in my room. I never saw her getting in or getting out of it, but she was always here. She was probably still asleep, she'd walk in the door anytime, so I decided to order some room service for the both of us.
While it didn't arrive I started looking through my luggage to pick out an outfit. I know it had to be casual and comfortable, like I'd told Jessie, but most of the clothes I'd brought were more flashy and formal, since I came here for business.
After I'd looked through all of my suitcases I found a smaller bag I'd forgotten about. I had packed some easy clothes on it, such as jeans and t-shirts, thankfully.
I heard a knock on the door, but as I started walking towards it, it opened and Sarah walked in.
"Room service." she said as she pulled a wheeled table with some plates on it inside the room.
"Is that what I ordered?" I asked.
"If it isn't then someone on this floor won't get their food because I told the maid this was mine."
"Oh, my god, Sarah." I said, laughing.
"Well, is this what you ordered?" she asked, pointing at the dishes.
"Yeah, I guess it is." I replied.
"So let's eat!" she said, putting the plates over the table and sitting down, and I did the same. "So, what are we going to do today?"
"Well, um, I'm going out with Jessie at 3:30." I said, sipping my orange juice.
She took a deep sigh.
"Why did I come to London with you again?"
"Because you're my best friend and I love you and I don't think I can make it through a day without seeing you?" I said trying to make her feel better, knowing that she wasn't really upset.
"Yep, you don't live without me." she said and put a slice of bacon in her mouth. "But what am I supposed to do here alone?"
"You're a big girl, you can walk around by yourself." I told her.
"Because that's super fun!" she said, sarcastically.
"I think Archie might be free today, why don't you go sightseeing with him or something?" I suggested.
"Maybe. We are friends after all." she said.
"Exactly, so there it is."
Sarah and Archie went out together before lunch, so I was alone. I grabbed my laptop and started checking my emails, but there weren't any new important ones related to work, since I took care of most things on my meetings yesterday. I tapped my fingers on the table staring blankly in space trying to think of something I could do to kill some time. I went on Twitter - I even forgot I had an account - and scrolled down my timeline and mentions, but it was so boring.
Somehow I ended up on YouTube watching random videos, mostly funny cat videos. How did these people manage to catch these moments on camera? They probably recorded their pets all the time. Sounds like something I'd do.
Who would say watching these short videos made time fly by? Soon it was already time for me to get ready to pick up Jessie. I had had a late - and good - breakfast so I wasn't going to have lunch before meeting up with her.
I took a shower, blow dried my hair and put on some light make up. I decided to go with a pair of skinny jeans and a loose dark grey sweater along with flats. I called my driver and 20 minutes later I was on our way to Jessie's place.
Jessie's POV
I was finishing up my make up when I heard the intercom. I looked at my phone to check the time. 3:29PM. If that was Katy, she was getting really good at being right on time. I walked to the kitchen, where the intercom was, and answered it.
"Hey, it's me." Katy said.
"I'll be right down." I told her.
I put on my lipstick looking at the mirror we had on the living room and took one last look at my outfit before leaving. I was wearing my Prince shirt, a pair of shredded jeans, combat boots and a green beanie. I think this was casual enough, right?
I opened the door that led outside and Katy was standing there, a smile spread across her face when she saw me, and I couldn't help but smiling back, her smile had an effect on me. She had an effect on me.
"Ready to go?" I asked her.
"After you." she said and motioned ahead so I'd walk in front of her.
"Are you gonna tell me where we're going now?" I asked, once we were in the car.
"Hmmm…" she hummed as she looked up, making a thoughtful face.
"A hint?"
"You say I'm a kid, right?" she asked.
"Yes…?"
"And I think you're a kid too." she said.
"I won't disagree with that." I stated.
"Well, that's the hint."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"That's the hint and if you can't guess it you'll have to wait until we get there." she said and smirked.
Coffee and the City; chapter 23 pt. 2 (katy&jessie)
A/N: part 2 because the previous one was too short.
Jessie's POV
"Wake up, Jessica." Natalie woke me up shouting and knocking several times on my door even after she opened it.
"Oh, God, okay, I'm up!" I said, sitting down in bed, scrunching my eyes. "What time is it?"
"Half past eleven."
"And why are you waking me up? I have a day off." I asked her, rubbing my face.
"Because you always complain when you wake up too late."
"I'm complaining now! About you waking me up like this!" I said.
"Sorry about that."
"Ugh, anyway, do you have plans for lunch?" I asked.
"I was expecting to have lunch with you, which is also why I woke you up." she stated.
"Good, because we have to talk." I started. "Guess who showed up at my gig last night?"
"Who?" she asked, sitting down on my bed.
"Katy."
"No! Really?" she widened her eyes.
"Yeah."
"Out of the blue?"
"Yeah, she arrived in London yesterday." I told her.
"Then what happened?"
"Let me take a shower and get ready, we'll talk during lunch." I said and got up.
"I'm curious now, Jessica!" she exclaimed.
"Then I better get going." I told her, getting inside the bathroom and closing the door.
Just as I was getting out of the shower, my phone started ringing. I wrapped the towel around my body and grabbed the phone to check who was calling. I took a deep breath before answering it.
"Hello?" I said, nonchalantly.
Katy's POV
"Hey, Jess, it's Katy." I said when Jessie answered the phone.
"Hi, Katy, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm good." I replied. "Listen, I called to ask you out to dinner, tonight."
"Tonight? Yeah, I'm free tonight." she replied, after thinking for a second.
"Great!" I said, contently.
"Who else is going?"
"Um, no one, just us." I replied, confused.
"Oh, of course. A friendly dinner?"
What? Friendly?
"I, um…" Confidence, Katy. Be direct. "No, a date."
"Okay. Are you picking me up?" she asked and I smiled.
"Definitely. Is 7 good for you?"
"It's great. I'll be waiting."
"Ok, see you then." I said. "Bye."
"Bye." and the line went off.
I was staring at my phone and twirling a wisp of hair between my fingers for who knows how long with a silly smile on my face before Sarah snapped two fingers in front of my face, making me jump.
"Earth to Katheryn." she said.
"Jesus!" I screeched. "I didn't even hear you come in!"
"Clearly." Sarah replied. "Now tell me what's the reason behind that cute little face of yours."
"I was just on the phone with Jessie, and we're going on a date tonight."
"Ooh, Ms. Hudson is getting some tonight!" she teased, poking my ribs.
"Stop it!" I pushed her hands away, laughing. "I'm not getting anything!"
"Ok, but anyway, do you know where you're taking her? What are you gonna do after dinner?" Sarah asked.
"Shit, I didn't plan anything yet." I replied. "I need a London guide or something."
"Let's work on that, then." she said as she sat down on the table and opened my laptop.
Jessie's POV
I opened the door to emerge from the bathroom and found Natalie standing really close to it.
"Were you listening to me behind the door?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah." she replied, matter-of-factly. "You were talking to Katy, right?"
I giggled at her shamelessness. "Yes, that was Katy."
"I see." she said, nodding. "A FRIENDLY DINNER, JESSICA?"
I widened my eyes at her unexpected yelling.
"What do you mean?!" I asked her.
"It's obvious that you two aren't on this to become friends, why did you say that?"
"I wanted to see what she would say." I said as I walked to my room, Natalie following me. "And what am I supposed to do? Just get back with her, easy like that?"
"Isn't that what you want?" she asked. I sat down on my bed and buried my head on my hands, sighing.
"It's not that simple. So much happened, I was in so much pain, I can't just forget about that." I stated.
"But when you're with her, how do you feel?"
"I've barely spent time with her."
"How do you feel?" she insisted.
I sighed. "I feel… good. I feel butterflies. I could just be around her and ignore the world."
"Then do you really feel the need to keep playing like that?" Natalie asked and I kept quiet.
"Let's just go to lunch, I'll figure everything else out later." I said after a few moments. "Let me finish getting ready."
Katy's POV
It was 5PM and I decided to get in the shower and get ready, I didn't want to risk being late (which is commonly known to be normal for me). I chose to wear a black dress with a criss-crossed cutout strapping at top and flared skirt with a large black blazer. My make up wasn't very strong, I just applied some foundation and powder, light pink lipstick, winged eyeliner and mascara.
My driver pulled over in front of Jessie's building 10 minutes before 7 o'clock, so I waited until it was 7 sharp to ring the intercom.
"Wow, you couldn't be more on time." she said as she exited the door. "That's a bit of a surprise."
I laughed.
"I've been down here for a few minutes actually, I really didn't want to be late."
"Impressive." she said jokingly, raising her eyebrows.
"Thank you." I smiled. "You look amazing." I added, looking her up and down, awed by the breathtaking beauty in front of me. I don't know how she seemed to look more beautiful every time I saw her.
"Thanks." she replied shyly, looking down and putting a stroke of hair behind her ear.
"Shall we?" I asked, motioning to the car.
"Yeah." she replied and the driver opened the car door for us.
"Where are we going?" Jessie asked after a few minutes of our car ride.
"I don't know if you've been there, but the place's called Gordon's Wine Bar." I told her.
"I've never heard of it." she said.
"Well, I don't know if it's good, but that's what I've been told." I said. "There's also live music."
"As if we don't have enough music in our lives already." she laughed.
"Oh, I'm sorry, it's not-- I didn't--" Of course, how didn't I think that? Maybe she wanted some place calm and quiet, why did I have to--
"Katy, I'm joking, relax." she told me, smiling. "You know I breathe music, and I'm sure they won't be playing Price Tag there."
I giggled, calming down. "Yeah, according to their website Jazz Trio will be playing tonight."
"That's interesting, I hope they're good."
"If they aren't, you can always take over." I winked at her.
"Very funny." she said, bumping my arm lightly.
"Hello, ladies." the host said when we walked inside. "Do you have a table booked?"
"Yes, under Hudson." I told him.
He ran his finger over a page, scanning his notebook. "Follow me, ladies."
He guided us inside the restaurant and introduced us to our waiter.
"This is Evan, he'll be serving you tonight."
Evan gave asked our names and handled us menus.
After a few minutes he came back to get our order.
"May I suggest a wine that goes perfectly with the dishes you've chosen?" he asked.
"Of course." I said. "What do you have for us, Evan?
"Saint Veran Louis Latour, it's french."
"Sounds great to me." Jessie said and looked at me.
"I guess we'll try that one, then." I told Evan.
"I'll be right back, ladies. Excuse me." he said and walked away from our table.
Jessie's POV
"So…" Katy said, after a few minutes of silence.
"So…" I echoed.
"This wine is really good." she said, moving the glass in her hand and watching the transparent liquid spin inside it.
"It really is." I nodded in agreement.
"Are you hungry?" she asked.
"A bit, yeah."
"Me too." she said. "I haven't eaten anything all day."
More silence.
"Your hair looks really cool like that." she said, pointing at it.
"Thanks, I love it." I replied, running my fingers through my purple ombre hair.
More silence.
Awkward silence, not comfortable silence.
I wanted to make conversation, but I had no idea what to say. I kept going through a list of subjects in my mind that we could talk about, but I really didn't know. This was terrible.
"So, um, what are you doing here in London? How long are you staying?" I asked her. Yes. This was a good topic.
"I'm doing a cover shoot for Marie Claire." she said.
"Oh, that's cool. So you're not staying for long?" I asked. I couldn't help but feeling upset about that, but I didn't want to let it show.
"I wouldn't, but that's not all I came to do." she started. "I was also invited to be a guest judge on The X Factor, for the London auditions."
"Are you serious? That's awesome, Katy!" I grinned at her. "That's a great opportunity, I'm really happy for you!"
"Thank you! I'm really excited about it!" she smiled back. "And that also means I'll be around bothering you for a little longer." she winked and I felt a wave of relief and delight run through my body.
"And when do the auditions start?"
"I don't know exactly, I have a meeting with the producers tomorrow and we'll talk about these details and deal with all the paperwork then." she stated.
"I see." I said. "Are you excited to work with Simon? Or scared?"
"Both." she answered and giggled, the giggle that gave me butterflies. "I've never met him, maybe in person he's not all that evil like we see on TV."
"Yeah, maybe it's just a facade for the cameras." I said.
After that, Evan arrived with our dishes.
"Here's your food, ladies." he said smiling as he placed the plates in front of us. "Enjoy."
"Thank you." Katy and I said at the same time.
Katy's POV
The dinner moved on well, our conversation started flowing greatly, we laughed and the silence that hovered over us once in a while wasn't awkward anymore. If I didn't pay attention to what I was doing, I'd catch myself staring at Jessie, admiring her features, her jawline, her eyes, her eyelashes batting quickly when we're talking due her habit of blinking a lot, but I always tried to look away before she noticed (I hope) because I didn't want to seem creepy, when the truth is I just really missed her.
When we finished eating I asked Jessie if she would like some dessert, but she suggested we'd try something different.
"There are some ice cream vans around the city, maybe we could walk around a bit and try and find one? Since it's not winter they're probably still on the streets."
"That's a great idea." I said smiling at her. "Let me just ask for the check."
"We can split it." she said as I motioned for Evan.
"No way." I said and gave my credit card to the waiter.
"How about we walk to the pier then make our way to the Victoria Embankment Gardens?" I asked Jessie once we were out of the restaurant.
"Wow, you know your way around here, don't you? You're almost English." she said, making an impressed face.
"Why, thank you." I replied, attempting my best English accent. "It's that there's this girl I'm trying to impress."
She laughed. "Well, you're not gonna impress anyone with that fake accent."
"What?!" I said, acting offended, still doing the accent.
"After all this time, you still haven't improved that accent, unbelievable." she laughed and I laughed with her, remembering our first 'date', in New York, when she picked me up at work and we ate hotdogs at the park.
"Maybe I'll get better during my stay here, if you help me." I stated.
"I don't do miracles, Katheryn." she said seriously, shrugging with her arms crossed.
"Ha ha, that's funny, thanks." I said and shook my head, rolling my eyes. "Maybe you should quit your singing career and start a stand-up comedy act."
"I really am funny, I get that a lot, maybe I should do that." she said, tapping her finger on her chin, pretending to be considering it for real.
"Well, ok, so I think now I should buy you ice cream so you won't make fun of me on your acts." I told her. "Look, there's a van there." I pointed at the parked van next to the pier.
"You do that and I'll think about it."
"What flavor do you want?" I asked her as we waited in line behind two teenagers.
"Peppermint Bon Bon." she replied after taking a look at the list glued to the window of the van.
The teenagers walked away and the guy in the van asked what we were going to have, with a nice smile.
"We want a cone with Peppermint Bon Bon and another one with Cotton Candy." I asked.
"Any toppings?"
"Not for me." Jessie replied.
"I want chocolate." I said. "Ooh, and sprinkles!"
"Alright, they'll be right out." the guy said and turned around to prepare our cones.
"You're a kid." Jessie told me and chuckled.
"Who doesn't like sprinkles?" I asked and she shook her head.
After we took our ice cream we started walking along the river towards the gardens.
"This is is such a beautiful view." I said. "That's the London Eye, right?"
"Yeah, have you ever been to it?" she asked me.
"No, I've always wanted to, though. I'm sure it's amazing."
"It is, I can take you one of these days, I haven't been there in years." Jessie said and I smiled at her, even though she wasn't looking at me.
"That sounds lovely." I said. "Wait, let me take a picture."
I took my phone out of my purse and opened the camera app. I framed Jessie and the London Eye on my screen and snapped a photo of her while she was leaning on the barrier of the river, without her knowledge.
"Hey, say cheese!" I said to get her attention.
"What? I thought you wanted to take photos of the view!" she said as she hid her face with the hand that wasn't holding the ice cream.
"You're a part of the view I'm seeing, c'mon, smile." I insisted. She rolled her eyes but then flashed me that remarkable smile that shines brighter than all those city lights behind her and made my heart skip a bit.
"Hey! You're the tourist, you should be the one in the picture." Jessie alleged.
"You're right." I pressed the button to change to the front camera of my phone and stood beside Jessie before snapping some pictures of both of us before she could object it. "Happy now?"
"That's not what I meant, but ok, I don't mind." she said. "Now come on, let me show you Cleopatra's Needle."
"Oh, wow, Jessica, that's sooner than I excepted… and is that what kids are calling it these days?" I asked, jokingly.
"Well, who's the comedian now?" she said and poked me.
After we got to the monument and posed by the sphinx (why go to Egypt if in London you get to see two of them?) we walked inside the gardens, talking. There were a few people there, most of them were sitting on the benches talking. It was nighttime but the beauty of the place was still visible, it was a great place for a jog or a picnic on a sunny day.
"Wait, is this a real piano?" I asked as we walked by this piano with graffiti on it.
"Yes, it works and everything." Jessie said. "There are even some scores on it, look."
"Oh, this is so cool!" I said, sitting down on the seat and opening it. "I've always loved to watch people play the piano, I think it's beautiful, I wish I could play it."
"I love it, too." she said, sitting down next to me. "I've actually started taking classes once."
"Really?" I asked, excitedly. "Can you play anything?"
"Well…" she straightened her posture and stretched her hands and arms, placing her fingers softly over the keys. "Twin-kle, twin-kle, lit-tle star…" she started singing as she pressed key by key, slowly. I started laughing as soon as she started playing that.
"Is this not good enough for you, ms. Katy Perry?" she asked.
"No, that's perfect, it's better than anything I could do anyways." I told her and we kept laughing.
We got up and kept walking through the gardens, slowly, talking and laughing some more. We only stopped when the weather got colder and we found ourselves quivering.
"I guess we should head back, what time is it?" Jessie asked and I took my phone out to check the time.
"Oh, my God, it's almost 1AM." I told her.
"Already? The time flew by!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, I know!" I said. "Do you have anything scheduled for tomorrow morning?"
"No, I'm free tomorrow all day. What time's your meeting?" she asked.
"After lunch." I stated. "Do you wanna walk home or do you prefer to get a cab?"
"I'll walk, it's not that far." she said.
"Ok, then I'll walk you home." I told her.
"Are you sure? It's cold."
"Yeah, I won't let you walk home by yourself. We'll both be cold together." I said and she giggled.
"Ok then, let's go."
Jessie's POV
In five minutes we were standing in front of my building.
"Tonight was really fun, Katy." I said to her.
"I had a great time, too." she said, with a smile.
"So, um, we'll talk… soon?"
"Yeah, I'll call you. Or you can call me too, if you want." she told me.
"Ok, so, goodnight." I said and pressed my lips together. Then I noticed Katy moving closer to me and my heart started beating faster. Her face was so close to mine I could feel her breath and I just stood there, immobile. My eyes locked with hers for a few moments before she closed her own and placed her lips on my cheekbone. She pulled away and my lips were slightly parted.
"Goodnight, Jess." she said with a soft smile before turning around and walking down the sidewalk waving for a cab that was passing by. I don't think a kiss on the cheek has ever moved me as much as this one.
I walked inside the apartment and leaned against the door with a sigh.
"Well, well, well, was it a good date?" Natalie asked as she walked out of the kitchen, which startled me, since the lights were all out.
"It was." I replied and couldn't help the smile forming on my lips.
"Where did she take you?" she asked.
"Gordon's Wine Bar, then we had ice cream by the Embankment Pier and we were walking through the Victoria Embankment Gardens until now."
"And…?"
"And what?"
"You know, was there a goodnight kiss?"
"On the cheek."
"On the cheek?!" she repeated, confused.
"Yes. But it was the most intense kiss on the cheek I've ever gotten, I don't even know."
"I don't understand." she shook her head, a bit lost, which caused me to laugh.
"That was actually good, you know, it means that she knows we need to take things slow and she doesn't want to push me." I explained.
"Well, if you think that who am I to disagree."
Our conversation was interrupted by my phone ringing. I thought it was Katy already, because who else would be calling at this time? I took it out of my purse as I walked into the living room. Checking the caller ID I saw that it wasn't Katy, it was Ellie.
"Hey, Ellie." I answered it.
"Jess, I've called you a hundred times, why didn't you pick up?!"
"I was out, is something wrong?" I asked, worried.
"No, nothing's wrong, I just needed to talk to you." she said.
"About what?" I asked, taking my shoes off with my free hand.
"Nothing specific… Anyways, you were out? And you didn't invite me?" she asked in a playful tone.
"Well, it was, erm, a dinner." I stated.
"A dinner? Wh-- You were with Katy, right?"
"Yeah." I acknowledged.
"Oh." she mumbled. "Anyways, do you wanna come over tomorrow for dinner? I'm cooking."
"Um, ok, sure." I said, a bit confused by this sudden invitation. "What time?"
"8, but you can come earlier if you want." she said.
"Ok, I'll be there." I said.
"Awesome, see you later." she said and the line went dead.
This was really weird. I mean, we always went out together and had dinner all the time, but this phone call had a weird vibe. Or maybe I'm crazy. Yeah, I shouldn't think too much into this and just go to bed, I'd have a clear mind in the morning and realise I was the one being weird.
A/N: guys I just wanna thank all of you for reading and commenting and voting always (mostly on wattpad). I know I don't always reply to comments (i answer all the asks on here tho) but I read all of them and I get really happy with all of them, I notice the people who comment on every or most chapters even if just asking me to update hahaha thank you also to new readers! and the ones who comment on older chaps! anyways, big up to all of you, it's almost 30k reads on wattpad!!!! <3
"So, um, is Ellie going?" I asked Jessie as we walked towards the exit.
"No, she's in Australia, if I'm not mistaken." she replied, putting her cellphone inside her purse. "Are you here alone?"
"Here in London?" I asked and she nodded. "Sarah came with me, but she's at the hotel, she was tired. We got here today, I came straight from the airport."
"Really?" Jessie asked, raising her eyebrows at me. "Aren't you tired too?"
"I was, but I needed to see you, I didn't want to be away from you for any minute longer." I said. "And when I found out you had this gig today, I decided to surprise you."
She curved her lips up in a small smile.
Jessie's POV
We were approaching the door that led to the parking lot, where everyone was going, Holly was standing close to it, doing something on her phone, which she stopped when she looked up and saw us walking towards that area.
"Wait, is she going with us?!" Holly asked me, exasperated.
"Yes." I replied.
"Are you kidding me?" Holly hissed and I pulled her aside.
"Holly! It's okay, I already told you! She's good, alright? I'll explain everything to you later, we don't have time now. Just be nice." I told her, in a lower voice.
"Be nice?" she rolled her eyes. "The only reason I won't go home now is because I won't leave you alone with her." she said the last word with some despise, side-eying Katy, who was now talking to my band.
"Ok, ok, now let's go." I said, ending our small chat.
We arrived at Notting Hill Arts Club and got a table. One of the up sides of being a celebrity is that you don't have to face long lines or wait for tables - not that it's all that fair, but I wasn't going to complain about it right now.
"What will you guys drink? I'm heading over to the bar." Lewie asked around the table. I replied with 'the usual' and everyone else ordered their drinks, except for Katy, who asked for a water.
"You drink now?" Katy asked me.
"Why? Are you trying to control her?" Holly rudely replied to her before I could say anything.
"No, I was just…"
"Don't mind her, Katy." I said, then turned my head giving Holly a look, earning an eye-roll from her. "Sometimes, one drink or another, it doesn't hurt, right?"
"Definitely not." she replied, with a small smile.
Soon Lewie came back with our drinks, and a person.
"Look who found me at the bar." he said as he handled everyone their drinks.
"Ellie?! I thought you weren't in the UK!" I exclaimed.
"Well, I am and Holly invited me to come here." she said, motioning towards Holly, who was sipping her drink. "And I see that Katy is here too."
"Hi, Ellie." Katy smiled at her.
"Are you just gonna sit around the entire night?" Ellie asked, looking at everyone.
"It's because we just got here." I told her. "By the way, did you drink something already?"
"Hmm, maybe." she replied and laughed. "Come on, Jessie, get up, come shake that booty."
"Ok, ok." I replied and Katy got up to let me pass, sitting down again afterwards. "Why did you sit? Come dance!" I told her.
"No, thanks, I'll stay for a while." Katy said.
"No, no, no, come dance with us." I insisted.
"Well, if she wants to stay, let her." Holly, who had already joined us, said, pulling me to the dance floor.
"I'll come back later, you won't sit there all night." I told Katy, pointing a finger at her as she shook her head, laughing.
Katy's POV
Jessie had been dancing for a while - everyone was, actually, I was the only one at the table, which was unusual for me. I could join them, but Jessie and Ellie seemed particularly close to each other and I would get uncomfortable if I tried to get in between them. Did they really have something? No, I'm sure they were only close friends. Very close.
It was a little late and people were kind of drunk already, so I decided I'd go back to my hotel. I got up and waved at Jessie, motioning I was leaving, then she stopped dancing and walked towards me.
"You're going already? It's early!" she shouted, trying to get me to hear her over the loud music.
"Yeah, but I'll call you or text you tomorrow, ok?" I asked her.
"'Kay. 'till later!" Jessie said and went back to the dance floor.
I went outside and waved for a cab, giving the driver the address to my hotel. During the entire ride I kept thinking about tonight, how Jessie, well, basically ignored me, and wondering about how the next weeks would be like. I just wanted to have some time with her alone, without worrying about interruptions or time or people that are clearly annoyed by my presence and don't bother trying to hide it. Of course I understood Holly, if someone hurt my best friend I wouldn't let them easily get away with it either, but she didn't know the whole story. Hopefully I'll get her to stop hating me when she sees that I can make Jessie happy, and how I would never hurt her, ever again. But that only time will tell.
I got to my hotel room and found Sarah sitting on the couch watching TV. She was staying in a different room, but for some reason she wasn't there.
"Hi, Kat, how did everything go?" she asked me as she turned the TV off.
"It went okay…" I said. "What are you doing here? I thought you were asleep."
"I slept, then I woke up, you weren't here so I decided to wait for you." she replied and I sat next to her on the couch. "But tell me, 'okay'? That doesn't sound good."
"Well, I went to the gig, she was amazing, Sarah, I had this warm feeling on my chest, on my stomach… I felt happy. I was really happy for her." I told her as a dreamy smile spread across my face, effortlessly.
"And after that…?"
"I went backstage once the gig was over, but shortly after we sat down and started talking someone walked in and said the band was going out, and she invited me, so I went with them, since I just wanted to be around her for a little longer." I sighed. "But as soon as we got there, everyone got their drinks and started dancing and Ellie was there, and she took Jessie to dance and they seemed so close, I don't even know."
"Where were you then?" Sarah asked me.
"I was sitting at the table."
"Why didn't you join everybody?" she asked.
"I didn't want to get in the way of anyone." I said, looking down at my hands.
"Katy, you don't even know if they have anything." she told me. "And you know what they say, all is fair in love and war. You gotta move!"
"I know, but she seemed really… uninterested in me."
"Where's your confidence, Katheryn?" she raised an eyebrow at me. "You are meant to be!"
"You're right, you're right." I shook my head. "I'll call her tomorrow."
"Good."
"Now I'll take a shower and try and get some sleep, or else tomorrow I'll be in bed all day."
"Okay, I'll go back to my room, if you need anything you know where to find me." she stated.
"Goodnight, honey." I said and gave her a hug. "See you tomorrow."
A/N: super super short i know. let's call this chapter 23 part 1. i just wanted to give something to you guys so you know i'm not dead and i haven't given up on this. y'all know i'm always accepting suggestions and stuff even if it's for something further in the story. thanks shondinhos don't hate me. x
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