I am always moving towards you. On my bad days, I say to myself: “then you”. Sure, this now. But then you. I will keep tossing myself life lines. I will keep writing myself afloat until I don’t have to write a poem for every mile marker from here to California. You and I together is the most foolish thing I’ve ever hoped for. You and I apart is more foolish. When I can’t sleep at night, I dream up conversations with you. I never call. I never push. I try not to whine. I just write it all down. Sometimes I want to apologize for wanting you out loud, like too many people know the reasons I am going to have laugh lines. Sometimes instead of distanced pillow talk, I want to curl up with the phone and read you poetry. Instead, we just talk about it. You say, “honey, how was your day?” And I say, “today I wrote another poem about your coffee cup mouth and all the ways you still keep me up at night.” I hear a sigh in your smile. You make a sound that reminds me of fighting with my bags at the airport; but you’re still too far away.
“Laugh Lines” Trista Mateer
this is from my book The Dogs I Have Kissed!
(via tristamateer)
