#k.m.a

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Things are getting bad again. And I’ll admit that I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been hiding how I feel because I don’t want my family to know just how bad it’s getting. Some days I just shut down and I can’t feel anything. I’m just numb to the world. And I hate it because that’s when I feel everything the most. I see so much hate and pain and suffering and no matter where I turn it’s always there. I’ve never been treated right by anyone in my family. I’ve been rejected and hated and kicked out recently. And my mother says I think of no one but myself. And she’s the one who tries to get me to say that I’m not alright. But I know that if I show any sign of how bad things are; they’ll just punish me again like before. They all agreed that they think I’m going to commit suicide and with the way things are going; I feel like I’m about ready to give in. I have everything I need. I have for years. But with no friends and a family who hates me; I’m feel like one day I’ll finally have no hope left and I’ll be done. The world is too full of hate and pain and I’m just done with it all. I’m trying to fight but I don’t know how much longer I’ll survive. It was nice talking to you Charlie. Thanks; K.M.A

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Hey Charlie

It’s been just a couple weeks. But things have only gotten worse. I nearly did it. I just couldn’t take it anymore and I almost jumped off the bridge. But my friend had caught up to me and I couldn’t let him see. I remember the feeling as I stood on the ledge. It was beautiful and as I looked down; I felt nothing. No sense of remorse or guilt, no more pain. I’d accepted that I would have to go. It’s only been two weeks since then. Ive gotten worse and I’m in constant pain. I’m just tired. I’m done. My friend knows how I feel. He knows that by the end of the year I’ll be gone. And he knows he can’t stop me. We talk about it sometimes. How people would react because no one else knows what I go through every day. I’m not close to any of them though so I know it really won’t matter. My family would be upset but they will have expected it. Their all convinced I’m going to take my life as well. I comfort him and let him know he’ll get through school and find someone. At this point he’s just waiting for it to happen. He’s knows everything about me and can read me. He’s even offered me a blade. But he’s my best friend and though I know it’ll hurt him; I think both him and I know that this is for the best. I’ve been hurting and suffering for way too long and I know it will never end. I knew as a child as young as 7 years old; that I wasn’t meant for this world. I’ve always seen way too much to be ignorant. I’ve been dealt pain and death from the very beginning. The only thing I hope for is that maybe on the other side; I can finally no longer be in pain and maybe I can find peace. I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve called out of work and everything because I can’t leave my bed. I’m just tired of hurting and being at the hands of all this abuse and pain. So this may or may not be my final goodbye. But thanks for everything Charlie.. Sincerely, K.M.A

[kayamaymusic]

[http-bees]

I want to kiss you like the sun kisses the earth, Gently, yet fiercely. As softly as light rain yet I want you to feel my love as deeply as the roots of great oaks.

(a-midnight-aubade)

[themellowing]

SoulChef - K.M.A (feat. The 49ers) - "Remember When..." LP - Kitchen Dip Recordings (by Kitchen Dip Recordings)

[the49ers]

K.M.A

Jas Mace I remember back in the days my teacher used to say Kids think BIG, that’s exactly what I did I thought about Christopher Wallace and how I’m going to make a profit How I’m gonna grub doing everything I love Wrote it down on my paper kept it neatly in my trapper keeper Gave it to my teacher there I met my first non-believer As she tried to steal my glory I felt like Ralphie in a Christmas Story Like I asked for a Redrider carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle I’m not gonna shoot my eye out But I might write some shit to make them wild out She laughed in my face like Jas was a disgrace And ever since then I kept a bad taste So Mrs. Yorkman this one’s for you I won’t ever let a non-believer tell me what I can’t do Hook When they say stop dreaming and get a real job tell um You can kiss my ass And when they say get real and stop reaching for the clouds tell um Kiss my ass When there’s a hater in the house trying to fill your mind with doubts tell um Kiss my ass When you finally got to go to show and prove what you're about tell um You can kiss my ass Marchitect I wake up late for school and I don’t want to go Cause I’m doing all the things that my mom don’t want to know so Teacher Teacher, tell me how you do it You find a different way everyday to say I’m stupid Night school, summer school, after school detention List of bad apples and my name is getting mentioned Cause I learn a little different plus I’m young and I’m restless But I ain’t on the path to the department of corrections Upon further expectation, observe rap perfection I know I’m going to win like a rigged up election Yet I’m seated in the section for a dunce Looks like I’ll do the same grade more than once Find me with the rejects, the drunks and the flunks But I stay making music that bumps in the trunks So ahead of the class, write a rap so fast That anywhere in the world I never need no pass Hook When they say stop dreaming and get a real job tell um You can kiss my ass And when they say get real and stop reaching for the clouds tell um Kiss my ass When there’s a hater in the house trying to fill your mind with doubts tell um Kiss my ass When you finally got to go to show and prove what you're about tell um You can kiss my ass