Mommy to Harper @kaylimepie - Tumblr Blog

Update

I realize it’s been a while since I’ve posted here but things have been going great! I’ll start off with the negatives first to get them out of the way. Harper has to go get an autism evaluation done and I’m a little nervous. Also, still no word on my disability so I’m still struggling financially but doing pretty dang good now that I’m getting regular child support to help cover diapers and clothes since Harper won’t stop growing! I believe she’s around 42” tall and around 40 lbs so that’s crazy! I’m still dating Matt. It’ll be six months on August 6th so that’s exciting. Harper and Matt love each other so much and it just makes me so happy. I’ve been slowly working at my depression and anxiety. I’ve been keeping my house fairly clean lately which is better than before. I wasn’t disgusting but I definitely didn’t clean as often as I should have but I’ve been doing better! I also went to the store (across the street) with just Harper today which is really difficult for me but I did it! I feel like Matt and Harper really make life better for me and I’m so grateful for them! 💖

It’s almost 11pm here and I was getting ready for bed and then I hear Harper talking to herself so obviously she’s not asleep and I have to wait for her to fall asleep to go to bed :( I swear this kid can run on WAY less sleep than I can.

Harper’s scary face 👹

The collages I had made for my mom and grandparents. I love them!

Happy post!

My boyfriend, Matt, and I have been dating for about 3 1/2 months now, which yes isn’t very long, BUT we spend A LOT of time together. He stays here probably at least 5 nights a week. And I have fallen for him so hard. He is as perfect as a person can be. He works a good job, never is late or calls in, he treats me like a goddess, and he loves Harper so much, even when she drives him absolutely insane (which is understandable since the only interactions he’s had with children are a few hours here and there with his niece and nephew). He is open about the fact that he needs time to adjust to essentially having a child now but he WANTS to! And it shows. He works so hard to be a good dad to her. At first he would raise his voice a lot and get very easily frustrated but now he knows how to talk with her and how to help her when she is upset. He is such an amazing man and I can honestly see myself spending forever with him. Neither of us wants to rush into anything serious (especially since I’m technically not even divorced because everything is freaking online and I don’t know how to scan a paper into a computer and make it a PDF and I definitely am not hiring a lawyer just so I can figure out how to make PDFs). I’m just really happy with my family right now and I know 3 months isn’t long but it doesn’t feel like it’s going to end anytime soon (knock on wood). 😍😍😍

Harps in bed snuggling her Dean Ambrose action figure and watching Wrestlemania 34. Lol

#wwe #dean ambrose #wrestlemania 34

zackisontumblr

as someone from the midwest i’m 200% sure i’ve said this before

Harper is 43" tall and weigh 43 lbs!

Chocolate Milk, Uno, and Nick 🐱

Harper fell asleep around 7:45pm and woke up at 11pm and is still awake at 3:37am. I think I can hear birds chirping. We have to be up a 9 to get ready to go to Matt's moms and then my grandma's for Mother's Day. Tomorrow is going to be a disaster. 😓

gostais

My daughter and my boyfriend are cuddling in bed watching Mother Goose Club and I’m about to die from the cuteness. She doesn’t want him to leave her so he’s just laying with her until she falls back to sleep. 😍😍

Lots of things suck (a rant)

I’m so sick of my life right now. Harper is my ray of sunshine that keeps me going but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like enough. I’ve been fighting for disability for almost three years now. Meaning I haven’t worked for three years. At first, it wasn’t too bad because I had my husband to help support us. Now, I have to rely on my grandma paying my bills (which I plan on paying her back if I ever get my disability) and I just recently started receiving child support which helps. But harp and I live in the shittiest apartment ever. I’m so sick and tired of it. Especially the bugs. Cockroaches, wasps, silverfish, and gnats are the most prominent and having my complex spray doesn’t do shit. On top of that I can’t do anything for my daughter. I can barely afford to get her diapers. She has almost no summer clothes and now I need to get her swim diapers and a swim suit for the last two weeks of school. I can’t get Mother’s Day gifts, and my grandma and boyfriends birthdays are coming up and I can’t do anything for them. I get food stamps but run out so quickly trying to keep Harper fed and it’s draining me. The tile in my apartment is cracked, the place is disgusting and won’t clean off, and my neighbors are always yelling at each other, there’s drug deals, and I don’t feel comfortable even taking my daughter outside to play. I feel like I’m failing as a mother. I’m glad I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday to talk about maybe getting stronger meds but idk if that would even work because I think I’m taking max dosage for both my anxiety and depression meds. I can barely leave my house because of how bad my anxiety is and it’s a struggle just to cross the street to get some groceries. I feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat and I don’t even know what to do. It’ll probably be a minimum of one year before I even hear anything about my disability and then it’ll take even longer to get my money and then a good portion of it goes to my lawyer. I also have an assload of student loans (which at least I don’t have to worry about right now since I have no income) and I can’t even use my degree since I can’t work. I really hate myself and just don’t know what to do besides keep moving forward and try to do my best for Harper. I just hope I can make her life decent enough.

Happy 4th Birthday, Harper!

Need to vent

Harper has been acting up like crazy today just driving me absolutely insane so I vented about it to my mom and she told me that maybe I shouldnt have any children. That really hurt my feelings and made me feel like complete shit. Like I'm about to cry. She's supposed to be supportive of me but she says shit like that. 😤

Harper’s playdoh 😖

Nick loves all boxes

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