I Have No Title for These Shenanigans

[kaypages]

When I close my eyes, his hands graze my skin.

I dont know what it'd feel like if it was really him.

But my mind, it runs wild.

I feel him beside me.

I used to call on the thought, but now it just finds me.

Every move is sweet torture

Every breath is an echo

Reminder that I am not actually there and

his voice...

Autumn forest to walk with no shoes on.

I choke on the spice of the fallen leaves, closer...

and closer I get to just making it real but...

What if its just how I make myself feel?

What if I do it? What if I flip everything upside down and destroy what is real.

And then only to find, it was all in my head.

Only to see that it's different instead...

And be left with nothing, and crush several souls all for what...all for him...

I dream, calculating the worth.

[kaypages]

"So what, you're just gonna go get him? A guy you knew 10 years ago that you spoke to like 3 times since then? Are you insane?!"

"...it was a good 3 times..."

[kaypages]

You know that person...

The one you chat with about mindless day to day things.

The one you want to stay up with, talking about the meaning of all of the universe.

The one that sends you photos of your favorite flowers when they pass them by.

The one that makes you forget that time exists all together.

And the one that makes you feel like all the color has drained from the world when you haven't heard from them.

You're picturing yours right now.

Enjoy them, for as long as you can both find it in you to do so.

[kaypages]

I am chaos.

Not like...destroy worlds chaos, but small, personal chaos. The chaos you can take with you in one of those dog purses, like a chihuahua....which are also coincidentally chaotic.

[kaypages]

I asked him for a pumpkin spice latte! I didn't ask him fOr ThE WORLD!

....and it better be iced....

[kaypages]

I've met his soul...well, maybe unofficially.

For his, it hides but bares unexpectedly.

And you might think, is it not easier to find one you can always see.

Except...I think I have, and always feel it shows a bit too cleverly.

The times I've thought the sun was beautiful was always through the trees.

A bird's call, ever-changing, but familiar to the memory.

Same with a soul...its like a song.

And how you hear it is your choice entirely.

For it is never the same song.

You must keep listening for all the beauty.

[kaypages]

Anyone ever do some dumb shit like walk into a table or something and then hope it bruises just so you have evidence for your story later?