When I close my eyes, his hands graze my skin.
I dont know what it'd feel like if it was really him.
But my mind, it runs wild.
I feel him beside me.
I used to call on the thought, but now it just finds me.
Every move is sweet torture
Every breath is an echo
Reminder that I am not actually there and
his voice...
Autumn forest to walk with no shoes on.
I choke on the spice of the fallen leaves, closer...
and closer I get to just making it real but...
What if its just how I make myself feel?
What if I do it? What if I flip everything upside down and destroy what is real.
And then only to find, it was all in my head.
Only to see that it's different instead...
And be left with nothing, and crush several souls all for what...all for him...
I dream, calculating the worth.















