How to recover from unfair and painful memories?
1) STOP BLAMING YOURSELF.
You are NOT your parents problems, you are NOT others projections or lies about you. You are who YOU think you are. You did the best you could with what you knew and were defending yourself. You were the best person you could be at that point! You were and are not currently a bad person no matter how hard people try to make you the villain in their story. The fact that you are introspective enough to even try and move on shows you are not the problem.
2) Recognize that most of those people have problems in their lives and are taking it out on you.
It’s not your fault how someone was raised and it is not your job to try and re-parent what they have grown as you as normal no matter how destructive it is. They are not happy with themselves and don’t want you to be either. So your job is to do the exact opposite of what they want you to do and come out better!
This one a lot of people have trouble doing bc they feel guilt about going cold turkey but this is one of the healthiest things you can do. Don’t be afraid to block delete, unfollow or if you really don’t want to start any drama the mute buttons on ig and Twitter are amazing! You may questions what others think of your loyalty but there is your problem right there! What about the loyalty to yourself? If them being in your life is detrimental then you have to cut them off and move forward. It’s hard, sad and depressing bc you’ll run into events and situations where you feel like they should be there but the peace you will get in the rest of your life is insurmountable!!
Use your pain as motivation to strive forward and work towards the life of your dreams! You soooo deserve this after all this shit you’ve been through. Write down your dreams and works towards them daily. Start exercising and listening to positive podcasts or in my case I listen to sermons which really help me.
5) RECOGNIZE THOSE PEOPLE DON’T EXIST ANYMORE AND WILL GET THEIR KARMA.
It is not up to you to set people straight even as much as they deserve to get their ass beat on site. Let them ruin their own lives and be the miserable and negative horrible people that they are which is honestly karma enough. Don’t try and check up to see how bad their karma is just trust that it will happen.
6) STOP REPLAYING WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED!
It happened exactly how it was supposed to! Don’t think about what should’ve been said or what should’ve been handled. And now you get to use that lesson and become a better person. Recognize that becoming a better person doesn’t mean you were previously a bad person! It just means you’ve grown and chosen to move on a be an even better person.
Let it be. God really has the last say and will let them see your success. That is the best revenge so just keep growing and learning and achieving your goals and soon you’ll be there before you know it.
For more self help tips follow @moodbyoj on ig and tumble and twitter.
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