Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.
There’s also a Firefox/Chrome extension called Behind The Overlay that does all that with one mouse click. Used it for years; what a time saver.
And if you encounter a true paywall, use Archive.Today to bypass it. Just paste the paywalled url into the blue “search archived snapshots” box near the bottom:
Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.
There’s also a Firefox/Chrome extension called Behind The Overlay that does all that with one mouse click. Used it for years; what a time saver.
And if you encounter a true paywall, use Archive.Today to bypass it. Just paste the paywalled url into the blue “search archived snapshots” box near the bottom:
FUCKIN FINALLY I LOGGED 8ACK IN!!!!!!!! Yeah, I factory resetted my phone and I forget my password so I couldn't log 8ack in, 8ut now that I know my password and email I'll 8e 88le to login on my chrome8ook!!!!!!!!!
An Introvert's Unconventional Guide to Friendship 👯♀️☺️👬
i've been making a conscious effort to lately to develop my relationships with friends, new and old (you can read more about my progress here under the relationships section), so i wanted to share some things i've realized through that process in the hope that it helps you debunk some myths and reconsider some assumptions you may also have as an introvert navigating your social life ☺️
💌: please feel free to also share any tips or hacks in the tags/reblogs/etc.! i would love some help too 😅
Don't just wait for extroverts to adopt you 🥺🐶
this used to be my primary strategy for making friends, especially in school. but you know how cher in clueless “adopts” tai for her own selfish reasons and essentially turns her into someone she's not? yeah, you put yourself at risk for that when you rely on others to extend to you their “friendship,” whatever that means for them, instead of advocating for yourself and seeking out the friends you genuinely enjoy being around.
but what does this mean in practice?
🤧 don't be allergic to sitting / standing / doing pretty much anything by yourself — similar to how one of the most effective conversation tips is to be comfortable with silence. if you wouldn't rush to fill every gap in the conversation, don't rush to surround yourself with “friends” because the wrong ones can do you more harm than good.
👁️ case the joint — now that we've settled in by ourselves, take time to observe your peers. you might not always know what you're looking for in a friend, so keep an open mind. basically, if they seem to be respectful, kind, and have personal integrity — you know, the basics — don't hesitate to introduce yourself! and remember, if they treat you badly, remember that says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you! don't give them the satisfaction of ruining your day!
💞 share your interests — or whatever is most important to you. if you're looking for a true kindred spirit, then you need to put yourself out there! sometimes people just have different interests and that's okay, but often it's easier than you may think to find common ground. and you don't need to have everything in common with someone in order to be good friends! i have a friend with whom i share nothing in common with, but we stay curious about each other's interests and continue to share them with each other, and in doing so, we still maintain a strong bond 💓
to be clear, i'm not saying extroverts don't make good friends for introverts!! if they have good intentions, then i personally definitely willingly let myself be adopted 😂 but it's no longer my only or even my best option for making friends!
There is more than one way to be a good friend 😌🤗
i literally had an anxiety attack one night because i was worried a friend i had talked to earlier that day might think i was a bad friend because she always sends me recommendations for stuff i've expressed interest in and i felt like i couldn't reciprocate because the venn diagram of her interests and mine is like a small circle that's mostly inside of a big circle and i'm the small circle, so while she has a lot to recommend to me, if i tell her about something, she probably already knows about it 😭
but then i remembered something we talked about, how there are different love languages and even within a single love language like acts of service for example, there are different ways to show it! my friend's act of service is to be a good listener and remember small details about her friends, while i'm more of a literal acts of service person sometimes, so i will cook for you and help you clean up 😂
some unconventional ways to be a good friend:
😈 pranks / teasing (if you have that kind of relationship)
🤡 willing to embarrass yourself like you're in a slapstick comedy to make them laugh
🔒 confide in them about your struggles / concerns (you are not a burden and the right people will feel privileged to have your trust)
🦦 spam them with pictures and videos cute animals
so, i'm probably not a perfect friend (i literally admire my friend so much for remembering the little things and i want to practice so i can become that way too), but i don't think i'm a bad friend anymore 🥰
Meet people on your own terms 📱💻🍜☕
during the pandemic, i got in touch with my (slightly) extroverted side for the first time in my life because i was finally able to stop overthinking about posture, body language, whether my outfit is still set the way i want it to be, etc.
and instead of needing to approach people in a physical space that may be crowded, noisy, or where they may have someone (or multiple people 🙈) already talking to them, i could take the time to craft a message to send 😌
i also learned that i really enjoy meeting people one on one vs. in a group setting, at least at first. and i learned from watching myself in zoom meetings how to emote better through my facial expression and body language when words fail me or to enhance what i say!
essentially, i learned to meet people on my own terms and that translates to meeting people offline as well! i like meeting up with people to eat or drink because if all else fails, we can talk about the food, the ambience, other meals we've had or restaurants we like. food is just such a good gateway to so many topics, from childhood to travel!
also, whether you're the kind of introvert who talks to your friends once a week or once a month (or once a year 💀) and then takes the rest of the time to recharge your energy, remember that it's quality rather than quantity and that it actually gets easier to slowly build your way up to more frequent interactions as you get more comfortable with each other!
🍋: i've always been known as shy and quiet. growing up in my culture, those were actually celebrated traits for a young girl, so i clung those parts of my personality for a long time. today, i'm still an introvert, but i'm not always quiet, and while i might sometimes feel shy, it is no longer something i am. hope these thoughts help you too, not necessarily to change your introversion, but to be a more balanced version of yourself with lots of friends who appreciate you for who you are 🤗
Growing up with heavy ADHD and generalized anxiety, it was always a bit hard for me to make friends and socialize. Despite my yearning for friendship, I was always "the quiet one" and "a loner", simply because I didn't know how to approach certain social situations, and it made any friendship I had extremely unstable (except for my sister @vive-le-quebec-flouffi, who was so extroverted and friendly it was literally impossible to escape her clutches of socialization)
As I grew older, I learned through a lot of trial and error what makes a good friendship.
Or, rather... what's the best way for someone to WANT to be your friend (without being superficial or hypocritical.)
Now, obviously, this doesn't work for everyone. But this is what I found helped me the most in social circles (especially online) and I hope it can help others too
LET'S BEGIN!
1 - Be yourself
Now that sounds very cliche and cringe, I know, but hear me out, because my opinion on this is not the same as all those feelgood inspirational movies and ads.
"Being yourself" isn't as simple as it seems. Because after all, what does "self" imply? If someone is, say, a criminal, would "be yourself" mean that they should embrace their sinful side?
No, obviously not.
"Be yourself" is a bit more nuanced, but I'll try to boil it down for you.
It just means "be unashamed of your qualities which you think are flaws". For example, "be yourself" would apply to someone who sees themselves as ugly, or maybe someone with an odd yet unharmful hobby, or a weird sense of fashion, or someone with say a handicap, a speech impediment. "Be yourself" is a sentence for the specific people who have genuine good in them, but are afraid to show it to others because they have been persecuted in the past, or are scared to be. It does NOT mean to accept genuine flaws. "Be yourself" does not include say violent anger issues, an addiction, a recent crime committed, or a generally unpleasant personality. Those are obviously not things to encourage. You can understand they may be a thing that happen to you, and accept it in your life, but that's different from being proud of it or encouraging it.
Speaking of personalities... let's talk about that
2 - Be kind
Now when some people hear that, they think it means "always smile no matter what, always look happy and positive, always agree with everyone just so you don't hurt their feelings, and never cause any drama", like you're Deku in My Hero Academia or Steven Universe in his titular show.
But that's... not quite that.
Obviously, kindness is something you use to help people feel better, to cheer up, and feel happy, and obviously to be kind, you need to have compassion, heart, empathy, and always put yourself in other people's shoes regardless of who they are. But it is not necessarily all-encompassing.
There's a rule that I think anyone learning kindness must learn. It's that sometimes, kindness means to be firm.
Not mean, of course. Not judgmental, not insensitive. Don't insult anyone, don't belittle or patronize anyone or make them feel inferior to you. That's still very rude and that's not what you want.
But what I mean is that sometimes, if you know that a person's actions towards something are wrong, especially if it's towards someone else, you must be able to point it out, and act accordingly. Don't just stand there and agree with them just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You must still be able to know right from wrong. Kindness just means you won't be an ass about it, it doesn't mean to stay silent.
Hey, that brings me to point three!
3 - Show your own opinions
If there's one thing people hate just as much as meanness, it's those who stand by and do nothing about it.
Regardless of if you agree with them or not, if you say absolutely nothing when genuinely bad behaviour is happening, out of fear of "starting a fight", you are actively making the person who is being attacked feel alone.
I remember myself, when I was bullied in the first two grades of secondary school (11-13 years old for those who don't know) for "being ugly", I was told by my mother (who was friends with other kid's parents) that some of the kids "didn't hate me" and "didn't agree with the bullying". And I asked her "if they don't hate me, why won't they talk to me?" She never managed to answer that one. And it broke my heart, because outside of my sister, I had no one else.
Don't be like that. You may be scared of acting, but you know who would be grateful if you did act? The victims. And isn't their opinion of you much more important than the opinion of someone who acts with hatred and bigotry?
If you see someone suffering injustice, or even just hear someone who has a rather harmful opinion, don't be scared to tell them that you disagree. Obviously don't be an asshole about it, stay civil, but if you voice out your opinion, you will be seen as someone who stays true to their beliefs and is brave enough to stand up for them if the opportunity comes.
There's obviously much more that comes with social life (nonverbal cues, sense of humor, timing and mood), and I don't know everything (I'm just some random québécois girl on the internet). But I hope this was a bit more helpful. I did have fun writing this, at least. So I guess that's better than nothing!
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