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[kcrtia]

KIHA

kiha honestly thought that this was it, that now he and miles were just pretending that nothing happened and hopefully one day things will feel normal between them again. however, that thought is quickly thrown away when miles directly asks him about what they were doing and kiha is a very weak man because his resolve— his upset feelings are quickly dying when the youngest comes to him and the main vocalist can see that he’s trying to not sound confrontational, that he’s simply asking about how they’re supposed to treat each other with this new information between them. as much as he tries to fight it, kiha is still a little unsure about how deep miles’ feelings are for him, if they’re indeed romantic or not, especially in the long run.

“they’re your feelings, miles.” and the main vocalist’s voice is gentle and a little warm, completely different from the tone that he was using moments ago even though he very intentionally ignores the first question that he’s asked because he doesn’t want to get another fight so soon, doesn’t want them going into circles. “if you want me to act like nothing happened then that’s what i’m going to do.” because that’s the courtesy that he can offer, is the courtesy that his teenager self would want if miles were ever aware of his feelings. “but if you want me to think about it and give you an answer, we can do that too. anything you want.” because miles should be the one to decide what he’s doing with his own feelings and how he’s going to deal with them.

after all, kiha understands the feeling of not wanting to be more hurt than necessary, understands that confessing one’s feelings and not receiving an immediate yes hurts enough and understands that one wouldn’t want to prolong the suffering, simply desiring that those feelings would go away as soon as possible so things could go back to normal— regardless of what is the true nature of miles’ feelings, platonic or romantic, regardless if the other is going to wake up someday and decide that indeed he has always seen kiha as a friend and maybe he got a little too emotional over their friendship and he misunderstood his own feelings.

the main vocalist wants to reach out for miles, wants to hold his hand or pull him into a hug or just— anything that involves getting the youngest closer to him, but he knows that he can’t do that when they just came out of a conversation that involved miles’ feelings and a possible rejection, when kiha knows that skinship with someone you like but doesn’t return those feelings is nothing but painful, does nothing but makes things even worse. so, instead, he puts his phone back on his pocket along with his hands just to be sure that he won’t do anything stupid and harmful to their still a little fragile friendship. “so what do you want to do?”

     he felt as though kiha was patronising him, the feeling doesn’t subside and only intensifies as the other speaks. “i should’ve never said anything.” he settles, is almost certain that if he had just kept everything to himself, things would have worked out for the better. if he had only just kept his feelings to himself, he wouldn’t be in this position. they wouldn’t be in this position, they wouldn’t be arguing over something like this and maybe then— he would’ve been able to ignore everything more easily, act as though this was all but a delusion in his insane mind. “no, acting like nothing happened is good.” he nods, sounds a little too monotonous— trying to guise the hurt in his voice, but the slight shake in his tone was evident. 

     his gaze averting from kiha, he should’ve seen this coming. should’ve felt that their friendship was merely platonic, wasn’t even sure what he was expecting to come out of his confession. perhaps he was being selfish— that he had just needed or wanted to get the things off of his chest as to clear his conscious. but the feelings he had for kiha were so foreign to him that began to confused him, began to mess with his mental stability that it became almost debilitating. “i shouldn’t have said anything, sorry to put you in this situation.” he repeats, even offers an apology, feeling his chest tighten as the words left him. i should’ve known better.

     in all his years of living, he has never found himself to be so captivated by another person as kiha does to him. the way he allows kiha to bypass so many boundaries with himself, simply because he favoured the other over everyone else. 

     he mentally notes that he’d have to go back to his brother’s home in seoul to wipe his mind free of the cloudiness that was the instant rejection kiha had given him. even then, he wasn’t sure if his brother was completely open to the possibility that his younger brother was in love with another man in crescent. the thought of having to tackle another confronting conversation makes his skin crawl, makes the way his spine want to snap. a sigh leaving him. “it’s whatever, i’ll see you back at yuseong— maybe.” offering kiha a half hearted smile, too stiff to be genuine. maybe he could convince ceo yoo to let him venture out into the wilderness if he tried hard enough.

     “do you have a ride back? is taesoo taking you?” gaze finally resting atop of kiha’s head, having driven to their shoot location himself, a prior schedule not allowing himself to come with the rest of crescent. and he begins to feel his knuckles ache again through the bandage, haphazardly wrapped around his hand. 

[kcrtia]

JUNGKOOK

jungkook raises his eyebrows when aeri comments about maybe wanting to dance. “well, do you want to?” he asks genuinely curious and surprisingly pliant with the idea. the samsung heir has never bothered even trying to have fun in these fancy parties because it always seemed pointless anyway, especially when he knew that his parents had one or two eyes on him at all times to make sure that he was on his best behavior. besides there was no one in there that he could call his genuine friend, someone who he could loosen up and have fun with like when he’s in his own kind of parties. these fancy parties were just boring through and through, however just by being with aeri is enough to make him reconsider it— or at least to not find them as insufferable as they usually are.

or that’s what he thought before this girl decided to ruin his fun with something that jungkook wasn’t the slightly interesting in especially when it meant that he had to move away from aeri, when in a way or another it meant that he was changing his (fake) girlfriend over a girl who has never done anything but bother and in a way harass him. he doesn’t have the patience nor the empathy to even feel sorry for the girl when she seems so flustered and perhaps even a little embarrassed that jungkook wasn’t going along with whatever she thought this encounter would be like that, instead that only makes him even more annoyed— until he feels the design student’s hand on his thigh, the gesture appeasing his temper a little.

and then it takes jungkook all his years of perfecting a poker face to not react and consequently making a fool out of himself when aeri calls him a term of endearment no matter how much his heart races at the word and perhaps if they were alone, jungkook would feel his cheeks warming up to a soft pink just as warm as the feeling that fills his chest. he mentally scowls at himself to keep it together, to act like aeri calls him baby everyday, though he can’t help but tighten the hold on her shoulder just a little bit, pulling her just that little closer.

“isn’t it worse if i lie?” he asks in a sincere tone, however jungkook is also being a little of a little shit and it shows in the way that he’s trying to fight a smirk from appearing on his lips. “but if you want me to play nice then i’ll play nice” he concedes like an obedient dog, eyes softening for a moment before they set on the girl again, because then they go back to being cold like a child who is looking at the hamster that they lost completely interest on. of course that he still won’t come with the girl to wherever she wants to drag him, but he supposes he doesn’t need to hurry or put her on the spot because of it.

aeri is even complimenting the girl so jungkook— “oh, shit.” snorts softly and briefly, having to turn his head with a hand covering his mouth for a moment to try to hold back the rest of the amused laugh that threatens to escape his lips. he genuinely didn’t expect the backhanded compliment and it’s even more amusing how aeri either genuinly tries to take it back with finishing with a nice word or if she’s just trying to rub more salt on the wound, but it’s definitely a nice surprise— a perfect last touch to the whole thing especially when the girl seems more embarrassed and lost in what she’s supposed to do or say than ever.

“baby,” he speaks again when he feels like he won’t lose it though he’s very much smirking this time, returning the petname to her. “it’s very charming to call people out on their fake wealth, please don’t ever stop doing that.” especially when it’s a mean girl who brags so much about her father’s construction business and consequently about how many bags and luxurious accessories she can afford because of it. and that seemed to be the last straw with the fake givenchy girl who stuttered some excuse to excuse herself, sending one last flustered glare to aeri before joining the rest of her gang.

“ok, that was really great.” jungkook says when they have privacy again, the smirk only growing in size on his lips. “do you also say things like that when i’m not around?”

     she shrugs slightly at his question, still unsure if she was willing or comfortable to be dancing out in the open with the amount of practice she has had since having learnt how to dance all those years ago. she was certain that she’d end up stepping all over his shoes and possibly trip him into the next century and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that kind of humiliation just yet. wasn’t sure if he truly meant what he proposed either, that was just asking her out of politeness and common courtesy because of their spat just now. but she tries to offer him a sincere smile that follows along with the shrug that rolls off of her shoulder, something to say that she would think about it.

     and she’s a little glad that he’s accepting to be a little more nicer to those around him, less abrasive with his words. the straight forwardness of his nature a little too daunting for her liking, especially to another girl who has shown him nothing but the gentleness of her words. and aeri knows that the girl despise her, would rather that she burn in eternal hell than to be granted with the label of jungkook’s girlfriend. it was obvious to come to that conclusion as aeri has received nothing but sideway glances and contorted grimaces from fellow girls, ever since entering the party with jungkook. and it drains her, makes her tired from all the egotistical competitions that silently go on. her hand on his thigh, tapping gently as he mentions playing nice— satisfied with his answer.

     at this point, she was regretting the words that had accidentally slipped past her in her moment of pettiness. she was truly wanting to mediate the situation, wanting to ease the insult she had thrown at the other, it was obvious in the way that her features softened to instant grief as her gaze rises to meet with the girl. but, she maintains her disposition, doesn’t allow herself to crack, lets her hand gently swat at jungkook’s leg as she can hear him clearly holding back his snickering. 

     then, he speaks up again and she feels a sense of dread washing over her— hadn’t want her words to come out so wrongly. she makes a mental note as to better learn to control her temper and words in the future, a hypocrite to what she had been telling jungkook to do— to be nice and less abrasive. yet, here she was, insulting an established heiress at a party she barely was acquainted to. the pet name however, sends a slight shiver down her spine— not yet used to it being reversed on her, only offering another smile in response as she watches the other excuse herself.

     a sigh leaving her, “yah! that was an accident.” her hand swats at his thigh a little harder this time, she sounds almost whiny, “i try not to but some of these people... they really test your patience.” she adds, another sigh escaping her lips. “sorry... i don’t think your parents would appreciate me demeaning guests like that...” her voice is more apologetic and soft as she spoke, gaze falling to her hand on his lap. “i’ll try harder.” and she sounds too much like an employee who had just been reprimanded for acting out of line, she couldn’t help the way she felt her mean streak was ruining the pristine image she was trying to cater to. 

     “how long of the party do we have left?” her gaze finally moving to meet with his, resting her chin on his shoulder as she allowed herself to ease up from all the acting she has had to do. the more she allowed herself to stare at him, the more she felt as though she had done him wrong— the prior conversation about being friends resurfacing. of course he saw her more than an employee, he went out of his way to protect her from a bus pervert, to drop her off at euijun’s instead of somewhere convenient for him, sat with her through lectures on campus and held her hand whenever she needed comfort. and she begins to feel guilty all over again, “are you still mad at me?” 

[kcrtia]

YUNA

yuna also questioned how those girls with such high access to education could be so dumb sometimes, how they could so blindly hold onto every word that jungkook says even though it wasn’t hard to see that he was just making something up in order to get some peace for himself. she always wondered how so many girls who are supposed to be so smart are actually so stupid, but at the same time she feels like she shouldn’t be surprised because jungkook could go insane and start telling people that the sky is actually neon pink and those girls would still defend his wrong opinion until jungkook changed it to something else. yuna feels like she should’ve known it was coming when they still obsessed over a man that showed more than once how he wasn’t interested in them, how even after het got himself a girlfriend, they still had the hope that they’d become the wife of the next head of the samsung corporation.

“i guess that’s how much they put jungkook on a pedestal.” and creepily worship him as their god or anything of he alike. the more yuna thought about it, the more she pitied the poor samsung heir with all this unwanted attention. for a moment, she wonders if this is one of the reasons why insu tried his best to harvest the kind of reputation that he ripes, wonders if he was nicer like euijin there would be girls following him around in the same manner, and in the end the law student can’t help but pity the poor girl who would be insane enough to show interest in her brother, only imagining him either humiliating her for fun or blackmailing her to make sure she comes back to her senses and leave him alone— or simply both.

she listens attentively to the explanation about the details that give way the designer of the dress, finding it interesting that such details could tell so much. honestly, yuna doesn’t know much herself about those things, never bothered nor found enough passion in it to pursue such knowledge when her hands are already so full with just everything else that is going on her life, especially now that she’s trying to do a coup d'etat with her brother. “impressive.” the law student compliments the other, not even questioning if she was right or not because she’s sure that the design student is. “what is the designer that you like the most?” she can’t help but feel curious about that, especially when aeri seems to know a lot about fashion.

then yuna chuckles lightly, taking a quick glance at the girl who is really glaring at them but then tried to hide it when her eyes met with the law student’s. “nah, i don’t think so. our eyes met and she looked the other way.” as much as the girl and the rest of jungkook’s fanclub are ready to start a fight with aeri, they don’t seem as willing to do so when yuna is also involved in it; most likely to keep their image clean and not start trouble with someone as influential as her. and then yuna giggles with the idea of the girls running away because the design student called for her boyfriend. “that i’m not sure, their urge to talk to jungkook might outdo their wish to avoid you.” she says playfully. “but i’m sure he’s going to protect you regardless.” yuna also adds, because she honestly thinks so.

“don’t worry.” the law student still has an amused smile on her lips, but her tone is kinder than that. “by the fifth party, you’ll find your ground and i’ll feel bad for any girl who tries to pick up a fight with you.”

     although she does see jungkook’s appeal, she doesn’t see how his appeal could be so overwhelming to the point where she would devote herself to worship him in the way that his fan club members do. she couldn’t ever imagine putting the words that fell from his lips as the pinnacle of all things holy and factual— some of the things that came out of his mouth was downright wrong, dumb in itself or rude, condescending if anything. and to her, at least, he reminded her too much of the antagonistic second lead of every drama she has watched on campus in the library. 

     and she could simply only let a chuckle fall past her lips at yuna’s words, a pedestal is nowhere for the likes of jungkook to be sitting— she muses to herself. she has seen others fawn over euijun, has seen the reputation that he has on campus, a fan club of his own off of campus but also realises that the other always tried his best to hide himself whenever he appeared on campus. the layers of hats and hoods over his head, the way he would almost always have a mask on, barricading half of his features with some sort of glasses covering the other half— guising himself as a blind bat. something that wasn’t exactly allowed on the field but he does well to conceal his true identity. 

     she has also seen the way gazes are narrowed upon her own whenever she enters a premise with jungkook beside her, the ongoing whispers that would illuminate the room about who on earth she was. her identity a question upon everyone’s mind, obviously not an heiress of any sort and it makes her almost want to burst into a laugh that would label her as insane. oh, how the rich are so funny. she lets out a suppressed chuckle, “i have a friend who’s an athlete and he gets stalked as well, not to jungkook’s degree but it’s still horrendous to witness.” she adds, can’t help but find some humour in the annoyance that was being both rich and famous.

     “oh, that’s a tough question.” she starts off, lets it sink in for a moment only to settle with light shrug of her shoulders, “i don’t think i can decide... honestly. every fashion house has their own unique flavour and they’re all so wonderful, i don’t think i can decide.” a cop out of an answer but she truly couldn’t decide for the life of her, found that every brand had their own little twist and signature styling that it’d be unfair as to favour one over the other. a history so rich that it made her, for once, want to douse herself in enough riches as to indulge in everything she loves. "surely you have a better answer?” another chuckle, returning the question to the other.

     “you might be onto something.” she returns the playful tone, knowing full well that the girls would be more than happy to dismiss her existence in the presence of jungkook. “i don’t doubt it, i just wish he’d be less... abrasive.” abrasive with his words. she wants to say but is sure that yuna gets the picture, considering how much more familiar she is with the all the parties she has attended with him present. “i look forward to my fifth party then.” if there is one. if she and jungkook could even make it to the fifth without her being replaced, the thought alone receiving a sigh to subconsciously leave her. 

     “there’s not much to do at these parties, is there?” she gazes around, not finding much to do as her mind wonders to the unfinished project at home waiting to be completed within the week for marking.

[kcrtia]

AEJIN

aejin frowns, finding everything a little too sceptical for him to believe that the things were unfolding the way that they were. he finds it odd that suddenly someone with this amount of wealth was openly giving money to his sister, simply for her to spend time with him and to do nothing else. no ulterior motives that were put in place, no scheme to sidetrack her, no other clear signs of red flags that aejin could easily pick up from. despite this, he couldn’t help the way he felt suspicious. 

aejin felt wrong to tell his sister otherwise, that he would be overstepping boundaries just because he decided that what she was doing is wrong. he wants to trust in her better judgement and believe that she’s capable of seeing for herself whether or not jungkook is a good person or not. a sigh leaving him as she reiterates her response, “sure.” aejin having to hold back the urge to roll his eyes and be as condescending as his thoughts were.

“the fact that you’re still looking for the catch and you’re also suspicious and not one hundred percent trusting of this, is enough of a red flag.” he tries to explain, tries to get his sister to see the possibility that all of this could be sham. “what if you suddenly stopped coming back home, life would not be easier aeri.” aejin can’t help but be dramatic, but also a layer of truth lathering his words heavily- another sigh leaving him. 

“jun knows about this? how much does jun know?” he questions his sister, sitting up properly as his frown turns into raised brows, “you know, jun’s always been open to wanting to buy things for you- you could’ve asked him instead. at least we know he’s a good person, aeri.” palms coming to drag down his face, still in disbelief at his sister’s words. “how far into this relationship are you?”

     she agrees with her brother’s input, maybe this is all a giant red flag being waved in front of her and yet, she’s being so willing as to take it with open arms. the thought sinks in for a moment as the more she thought about it, the more sense it began to make. “you make a good point, brother.” and she doesn’t deny his words, takes it into consideration for the next time she was to meetup with jungkook, she’d take more time out to decipher his motives— if there are any. 

     “you know, i’ve thought about it. thought about how this is all a ruse for human trafficking or some sort of organ harvesting situation but so far, its been smooth sailing.” she tries to reassure her brother, although her tone was anything but that— clearing her voice. “no but i promise he’s a good person from what i’ve experienced so far. he protected me from a pervert on the bus and spends so much time with me on campus.” is certain that she wasn’t exactly the most fun person to be around, and if anything, jungkook would’ve walked off by now if he had seen her as a potential organ harvesting victim.

     but her brother was also right, things like these do take time in order to truly uncover any ulterior motives. “i’ll— i’ll  be careful, i promise.” offering her brother a sincere smile, jungkook was their ticket to getting out of debt and having a better life. if they could all just graduate debt free, they’d all be able to move out of their father’s dinghy home. “plus, he’s rich— surely i’m not the only person he’s paying to be his friend.” it’d make sense that she was nothing special to him.

     “jun knows as much as you do.” she answers, “i know but i don’t want to treat jun as a walking paycheck, he’s different to jungkook.” she shrugs, possibly because she valued euijun more as a friend— seemingly as jungkook would only see her as some sort of employee at best. “like i said, i’m sure jungkook has more girlfriends than i do textbooks. it’s not going very far, considering i’d hardly call what we have an active relationship.” 

[kcrtia]

EUIJUN

euijun appreciates the effort and time she puts into their friendship, he knows how much she was willing to clear her schedule for him and it was evident of all the prior times that she had done just that to accommodate his own. he was thankful that he got to befriend aeri through aejin, glad that he was able to have the opportunity to be a part of the kim’s family, even if it were just that little bit of trust that aeri’s father offers him. euijun couldn’t help the smile that graces at his lips as she spoke, “i’ll make sure i at least score a goal as to not put your cheering to waste.” a smirk playing on his features.

euijun couldn’t recall the last time him and aeri were ever intimidate to the point that jungkook and her were, couldn’t even pick a point in time that they even got as closed to as holding hands in public. he feels as though her words were only being said to appease him and doesn’t sit well with the way that she so easily dismisses his concerns when brought up. “i’m not jealous.” he states, a little too firm and offended to be a joke- clearing his throat. “we’re just friends and we do not hold hands.” he tries to point out a flaw in her logic, knows that she probably has a thing or two for jungkook and neither does that sit well with him.

“it just happened?” brows raising, optics rolling as a sigh leaving from betwixt thinned lips, already too vexed to further comment. “i’d rather you just tell me that you like him than feed me these excuses.” wanting to prioritise the truth more than anything, though her following words do appease him somewhat as he feels himself softening up again, against the gentle chuckle that leaves from her own lips. “aeri— i don’t know how i feel about you accepting money from someone you just met like that.” a defeated sigh leaving him.

optics widening with slight interest as she mentions wanting a puppy, “are you asking me to adopt a puppy with you?” euijun couldn’t help the excitement that ignites in his chest, “for someone as rich as jungkook, he could’ve gotten you an apartment that came with a puppy. cheapskate.” 

     she finds the determination and drive that euijun has admirable, finds that way that he devotes a lot of himself to the dreams that he carries a rarity to witness amongst those their age. sometimes, she hopes that she could be more like him— more optimistic, more devoted and being able to give more of herself into the things that she likes without feeling burnt out of demotivated by the thought alone. she hopes that just by spending more time with him that his positive habits would rub onto her well enough that she’d be able to carry herself more independently— something she felt she had been lacking and exacerbated ever since knowing jungkook.

     and she understands where he’s coming from, the concerns that he has for her in regards to jungkook— very much like her brother, despite euijun being more adamant on it being a bad idea than her brother. a sigh leaving her, knowing full well how her reasoning wouldn’t have worked even if she had told the truth— which she has. she moves to stand in front of him, eyes rolling slightly, a hand raises to gently press against his cheek, “of course you’re not.” after all, he had no reason to be jealous, his tone telling her that he was more serious about her words than her joke had intended it to be. “we could start holding hands if you want.” a smirk tugging at her corners, her dismissive tone returning as a joke again.

     it takes her a moment to catch the seriousness in his gaze and words, “junnie—” she starts, “i was late to class, forgot to do an assignment and ended up sitting next to him. he offered me aejin’s tuition money, in exchange for my time. i’m not selling myself to him, don’t insult me like that.” she’s a little firmer in her tone, wanting to assert the fact that she wasn’t that desperate as to offer herself to someone merely for money— she’d rather die. “look, if something happens— you’ll be the first to know, okay?” she tries to reassure him.

     she chuckles at his comment about jungkook, “so, what do you say? we can share the puppy throughout the week or you can come visit the puppy whenever, it’ll be fun.” already trying to think up of a suitable name for the puppy. “if you’re free now, we can go to the shelter and have a peek?” 

[kcrtia]

YUNA

yuna is genuinely surprised when insu suddenly talks like he’s on a mission to defend her from their father. she’s completely shocked when instead of just going along with her and moving the conversation back to his visitation rights, he decides to talk about yuna instead, suddenly wants to address the mistreatment that she has been receiving from their father and how her efforts are taken by granted. it’s surprising, bordering on shocking, because yuna honestly thought that there was little to nothing that was a priority to insu over his visitation rights to their mother, even if that meant throwing anyone — including his own sister — under the bus or leaving them to fight for their own.

and the thing is that she knows that they’re playing together now in this game against their father so she shouldn’t show the surprise of having insu taking her side so bluntly no matter how much of a rare incident that is. after all, she’s sure that their father has already badmouthed her to her brother more than once and she doesn’t remember insu ever doing anything like standing up for her, instead too busy trying to make their father look bad by losing his temper with his own son.

but she also can’t help but send a look to insu, frowning at him in confusion— wants to mouth what are you doing to her brother to try to understand what this is all about, because as far as she was concerned it was more likely for him to join their father in his taunting than actually defend her, especially when — once again — his visitation rights are on the line. it takes her another moment to get a hold back to his wits to say something, to insert herself back into the discussion, especially when the oldest lee’s temper is rising up again since he isn’t able to deal with the fact that his children are going against his will like he indeed thinks that he’s entitled to their loyalty and everything just because half of their dna came from him.

she doesn’t want to downright disagree with insu while trying to turn the topic back to what they were trying to conquer in the first place and she doesn’t think this is the place nor the moment to start arguing about what yuna deserves and what doesn’t, what she is to her father and what she isn’t, especially when they’re trying to bargain. “and the jungs only are willing to support you because of my engagement.” yuna ends up adding instead of any protest against insu’s own change of topics, deciding that she’ll just trust her brother this once and see where this is going. though the oldest lee promptly protests saying that he arranged that engagement in the first place and therefore—

“yes, but the reason why it’s lasting is because both mr and mrs jung love me.” she cuts him off with a raised eyebrow, both of them knowing that as much as their father was the one who sealed the arrangement, it was because yuna was so good in playing the sweet role of a daughter in law, because she and euijin get along so well that the other part of the agreement hasn’t broken it yet.

the law student rolls her eyes with insu’s obvious provocation, though he isn’t exactly wrong. it isn’t hard to see that if their father was to choose just one of his children to keep the inheritance then it was most likely that he’d choose yuna because she has always played nicer than her brother; or, considering how much she knows their father— “maybe father will just disinherit both of us either way just to be petty. but,” she clears her throat again and looks at her father again. “we digress. the whole point of this is that it’s much more beneficial to just hand to insu mom’s visitation rights. it’s one less thing for you to worry about while also still being an important tool for the campaign, dad.”

     he still thinks that it’s ridiculous that just a few days prior, he would have prioritised the cleanliness of his shoes over the well being of his sister. would’ve found that it was more worthwhile in feeding his hounds at home than to feed his sister any of his sympathy, found that his two dogs would serve him more loyalty than his own sister. a sister who would always rub it into his face how badly he’s behaving, how terribly he’s doing and how he should try harder to be nicer to their father and campaign manager without understanding a single thing. and even if she tried to be nice in her approach, it still irked him the way his sister sat on her high horse with her head so far up their father’s ass that it made her delusional as to think this family was salvageable. 

     “could you imagine if yuna started acting like me to the jung’s? horrifying.” he can’t help but add, lets a smirk grace at his corners as he spoke, shaking his head. rather enjoying the imaginative piece though, knows full well that the worst his sister could do was wear her shoes indoors over at the jung’s home. a brother could dream. but their father looked unimpressed, seemed a little confused as to why his disobedient, sister hating son was suddenly so bluntly defending her. “don’t worry father, i still very much dislike yuna— sometimes it’s just hard seeing someone shove their head so far up your ass without getting any recognition is disheartening.” he adds in response to his father’s suspicious looks and accusatory words of poisoning yuna against him, words asking of what insu had told his sister or had hung over his sister’s head to make them both side with one another. “i told you, it’s disheartening to see. i’m not heartless, you know.” rolling his eyes.

     and he agrees that the only reason the jung’s were in compliance with their family still was because yuna was getting along with them so well— he doesn’t expect anything less coming from his suck up sister. “better watch yourself dad, don’t disinherit the wrong person and fuck up your chess game.” insu warns his father, receiving a scowl to be aimed at him. “yeah, and listen— i’ll even do the whole interview bullshit and talk about how great of a dad you are for giving me the visitation rights and how i’ve rehabilitated. peace and love, no drugs just hugs— all that shit too.” he adds with a shrug. 

     the campaign manager seems to be buying into his bargaining, seeing as the way she would gently tap their father on the knuckle like some sort of morse code. his gaze is drawn to their campaign manager before falling to her tapping digit, she catches his gaze and pulls back hurriedly— a smirk tugs at his corners. “i’ll even get married to whoever the fuck my options are.” he adds, determined to get his visitations rights, turning to his sister. “wouldn’t it be funny if our fiancé’s end up eloping?” an exaggerated laugh leaving him.

[kcrtia]

YUNA

yuna just heaves a long sigh, not really surprised that insu has that kind of view — though she still almost scowls when insu . regardless of her wishes of just having a family that fueled some of her motivation to try to be the daughter that her father wanted her to be, there’s also the hard truth that insu has always had much more leeway than yuna could ever dream of having. either because he was the oldest and the only son of the family or because he had dirt on their father — or maybe both —, insu has always had more space to demand things even without yuna intervening here and there, because those times were mostly when the other has fucked something up and now she had to clean up his mess. but otherwise? yuna’s leash has always been much tighter than insu’s.

he could move out, he could do a second major that was what he actually wanted to, he didn’t need to get into an arranged relationship, he could step out of the line and get away with it, even if just for the fact that knowingly or not, yuna has had his back from the start, would talk their father down from taking insu out of their inheritance so many times at this point that she lost count when if it was yuna who was stepping out of the line, she’s certain that insu would’ve never done the same, would’ve never cared enough to even try.

in a sense, however, insu is right. she had a choice, she has always had a choice, because technically speaking everyone has one, right? but then when looked into it further comes the questioning if it’s really a choice if the consequences of the second option are almost impracticable. yuna disobeys and either gets thrown away out the family or submission gets beaten into her anyway. even now that she has decided to rebel against their father, it’ll have to be in subtle ways, in things that will go under his radar until it turns into something so big it blows on his face. but of course that insu doesn’t understand any of this and she’s sure that he isn’t going to bother to, will argue to the end that she had choice.

besides, yuna tried to rebel once— one time that she turned to her father and said no— and what she got in return was literally a slap to the face.

“of course.” she eventually says in a clipped tone, hopes that she didn’t take too long to come with a return so insu won’t question her, won’t insist because this honestly isn’t a fight that yuna feels like picking. “whatever you say, insu.”

then she gives her brother a more sympathetic look when he comments about trusting someone and being disappointed by them, hurt so much that it was one of the reasons why he turned to be the person that he is. “was it during high school?” she asks in a surprisingly gentle tone, remembers vaguely how insu had someone he always hung out with but then when university came suddenly that person wasn’t there anymore. “i remember someone always with you.” though yuna never really figured out who exactly it was, doesn’t really remember them that well since she was always busy with her own things. “and then they weren’t there anymore.”

yuna rolls her eyes, not surprised that insu doesn’t trust her abilities as a lawyer. “fine.” she concedes. “then, i won’t be sharing any dubious documents that i might end up finding in his stuff that i’m surely using to build my defense.” because as much as their father put her in a tight leash, he always trusted her to be responsible and allowed her to come to his office and deal with a couple of legal documents for his campaign with some excuse that it was training for when she finally got to do the real thing and that yuna should start using her degree for something even though she hasn’t graduated from university yet.

“blackmailing has always been much more of your thing than mine.” she returns, trying to bring some lighter banter back to their conversation after bringing something much heavier, though that also doesn’t last long when insu is asking her about her feelings towards their father and honestly— “i don’t know.” she presses her lips into a thin line for a beat. “i always thought that i had to love him because he’s my father.” and because she held into family values and the idea of it than insu. “so i never stopped to check if i actually felt that way or not.”

it’s a little of a reflex, how yuna tenses up when insu asks her if the oldest lee has ever hit her. once, she wants to say, but then stops herself. it isn’t only about the topic in itself being uncomfortable to the law student, but it’s the also the part of opening to insu that makes her uncomfortable, is definitely not something that she’s used to. there’s a part of her that keeps repeating on her head that she shouldn’t open up to her brother, that he’ll taunt and mock her for it, that he’ll just rub all of her vulnerabilities back on her face in the worst of the ways. so this is yet another question that makes yuna pause, that gets her fumbling with words. “i mean— technically once, but— it’s not—” because yuna has the urge to shrug it off, to not make a big deal out of it, because it isn’t like the world is going to stop because of it neither does she have the time to be sad about it. “it was nothing.”

“usually he just throws things around, curses a lot and says many mean things. mostly the most extreme that he does is grab might wrist a little too tightly, that’s all.” but she doesn’t look at insu while she speaks. “i’m fine, it’s fine.” and only then that she looks up to her brother again, a little too eager to change the focus of the conversation from her to him. “did he— you? what about you?”

     he acknowledges her question by the mere raise of his brow and nothing more, doesn’t want to give in to the illusion that he was once stupid enough to let someone in to view all the vulnerable spots he had. to be as stupid as to allow someone, anyone the privilege that was the inner working of a broken insu— how foolish he was to expect anything else in return. “yep.” hues widening slightly with distaste, “not a pleasant experience, do not recommend.” and it has been almost a decade since he has managed to let a second person in, to let someone see anything but the blackmailing maniac, that was his reputation.

     “there’s a plethora of dubious documents, many of which the campaign manager actually keeps on our father’s behalf.” he adds, wonders if his sister was aware, wonders if it irks her the same way it does him when he had found out. that his own father, would rather give possession of important paperwork to an outsider of all people, over his own son. ridiculous but he also understands why, also sees why his father doubts in his own son. insu doesn’t exactly make it easy for the older man to trust him, not after all the shenanigans that he has created over the years of the campaign. 

     “and that’s exactly why your still dad’s little bitch.” he huffs under his breath, couldn’t help the way that he felt as though her comment about him being the better blackmailer had a negative connotation to her words. felt as though she was indirectly threatening him, though, it was the only thing that had bought what little freedom he had from their father. “you know, blackmailing him was the only thing that let me move out and have some level of freedom. you should try it, maybe get off that fucked up high horse for once.” rolling his eyes, trying his best to guise the annoyance that bleeds from his words. his sister always thinking that she was better than him because she was the better person, that her moral compass worked better than him, that just because she was making things work— that she was the golden example of the lees. but then, he also finds her annoying in the way that she would complain about not having freedom or choice when she does little to gain it, what a fucking joke.

     and maybe it’s his lack of understanding of the situation, only knowing his own like the true narcissist that he is. but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything.

     “that’s fucked up that you conditioned yourself to love him.” a chuckle leaving him, pitying his sister more than anything, glad that he wasn’t as sentimental and soft hearted as she. then, his expression changes when she says that their father had laid on his hands on her technically once, “what?” a frown creases against his forehead, doubts that it was truly nothing. that even when their father was mad at him, that punches were thrown, mugs were thrown, degrading words of every kind were thrown— but he never suspected their father to do the same to yuna. though, he wouldn’t be surprised, if anything— he would be increasingly disgusted.

     “it’s fine?” he reiterates, “are you fucking dumb?” features warped by the disbelief from his sister’s words, “are you hearing yourself right now? it’s fine? you’re fine? no one in this family is ever just fine, yuna.” his frown growing more prominent, “dad and i get into fist fights, he throws glass at me, threatens to kill me and holds a knife to my face but i’m me.” it made sense because insu gave their father every reason to react in such a way, but never yuna, considering how obedient she is. “and you’re nothing like me, i’m sure the worst thing you’ve ever done is ask for some extra ice cream.” a scoff leaving him, “that’s fucked up. dad’s fucked up.” he concludes.

[kcrtia]

JUNGKOOK

“sure, i don’t mind at all.” because jungkook is going to have to drive her somewhere anyway, he might as well do it to where aeri actually wants to go instead of somewhere that is more convenient to him. on top of that, flashes from when they rode the bus and that stupid pervert tried to take advantage of her pops in his mind and suddenly the samsung heir doesn’t want her to ever take any form of public transportation again, especially when she’s alone — read: without him specifically. besides he has always liked driving anyway so it isn’t like this whole thing is going to be a boring chore or anything like that.

and maybe it’s also because he’s a little curious about aeri’s life as well, to know what kind of friends she has and whatnot so this might be a good opportunity to find out, though he also assumes that the design student isn’t goin to let him any close to her friends just yet.

jungkook scoffs playfully at aeri’s accusation of paying off whoever wrote those articles with those lists of eligible bachelors. “do i seem like the type?” he retorts and goes to nudge aeri again before he could do that, she was already moving to stand in front of him and in return the samsung heir raised his eyebrows curiously at her. “you know, most people say they look like the eyes of a doe, not a cat.” he also corrects her playfully, never really caring about which animal he was being compared to when people were complimenting him — though he doesn’t know how much he could consider aeri’s words exactly a compliment when she just compared him with a cat.

“you know, you have to choose one, that’s the whole point of the question.” he insists with a smirk because jungkook likes to be difficult, though he definitely understands where she comes from. after all, he’d also say the same thing unless it was about him actually having to choose one (or both) to raise by himself since he’s sure that his parents wouldn’t bother with a pet and it’d completely miss the point if jungkook assigned an employee to look after the small creature unless he’d have to be away for a while longer like in the trips that his parents make him go that are either for business or to advertise an image of a perfect family that goes on vacations together.

jungkook is about to say what are his university schedule which isn’t very busy if he has to be honest, obviously he’s only getting a degree because his parents are pressuring him to so he doesn’t put too much effort into it. however his schedule completely escapes from his brain when aeri keeps talking, asks about his hobbies and if they’re anything relating to art and even comments about the art festival. it isn’t anything personal, just that it triggers flashbacks with long conversations with his father about how it was fine as long as jungkook kept them as hobbies though at the same time the oldest jeon never missed the chance to point out how useless they were and that if jungkook had time to indulge himself in those kind of things, then he also had the time to put a little more of effort in his studies or looking like the perfect son.

“i—” he clears his throat, hesitates for a beat. “used to draw, but i wasn’t very good at it so i just quit.” especially when it got to the point that he’d simply get too anxious over it, would be spending the whole time feeling guilty that he could be doing something else. “also played the guitar for a while, quit that too.” he shrugs. because in the end, it wasn’t like jungkook was good enough in neither of those things, his parents also not sparing any breath to remind him that he was average at most and if he wanted to pursue those kind of things then he should at least be a prodigy of some sorts. “but we can go to the art festival together if you want.” after all, it wouldn’t hurt to spend more time with aeri, to really sell their image as a couple.

but those gloomy feelings don’t linger when aeri confirms that she’s choosing to taste his favorite flavor of ice cream, being jungkook’s turn to have his eyes sparkling. “great choice.” he says with a sincere grin. “and don’t worry, it’ll be the best ice cream that you’ll ever taste.” and only then he turns to the staff, asking for aeri’s pistachio ice cream with a topping of m&m’s and chocolate sauce, but also deciding it spice it up a little and ask for some crystalized orange peels to be on top so it isn’t too sweet. then he pays for the ice cream and gives the cup to the design student.

“how is it?” he asks even though the poor girl has barely had the time to try it. “amazing, right?”

     she smiles, appreciates his kindness and gesture in wanting to drop her off at her friends house. it would cut back on her having to carry around a load of stuff and walking ten minutes from campus to euijun’s place, a little blessed that the other lived so close to campus and a little envious that she didn’t have the same blessings. the hour that she had to spend travelling to and from campus was enough to make her feel a little tired, even prior to making it into class but the hopeful thought that maybe one day after she finally graduates, breaking through the poverty mould that was built for her family bloodline. the thought alone, keeps her motivated, motivated enough to take public transport for an hour or so, even if half the time— she’s met with weird perverts. 

     she nods at his question, a prompt, “yes and you probably paid them to say that too.” doe eyes? it takes her a moment to inspect his features with a side glance to make out the likeness, “oh, i see it... if i squint hard enough...” she jokes back, returning the playful tone, no malice behind her words. she lets out a contemplative hum before settling on an answer, “then— i’d have to say... dogs.” decides instead to go to the polar opposite of what he had previously assumed to be her favourite, decides that she likes to confuse him and maybe she’ll switch it up in the future and name her pet after him, out of spite. 

     cats reminded her too much of the stray that used to come around their house every morning, too early for the sun to yet rise but still a little too late for it to be pitch black. remembers the way the cat would purr so gently against her hand, ruffling up against her arm as she would feed it what little food she managed to muster up the day before. though, after a few months, the gods had decided that she wasn’t worthy of having a stray as precious as that, decides that the stray deserved to be struck by lightning. and she ends up finding the poor stray’s body by her house the following day. the thought alone makes her so upset that she visibly pouts for a moment, subtle sigh leaving her.

     when he mentions having used to draw, her features light up again in slight excitement, having discovered something common between them, glancing over at him, “oh, you do have hobbies.” she adds, “i’m sure you’re great.” offers him a sincere smile, knowing that most artists never fall in love with their work because they’re always the first to see their own flaws instead of the overall beauty of their masterpiece. “you have to play me something, then.” she speaks a little too eagerly, excited that she potentially might’ve found another guitarist to add to her limited list of friends. 

     she wasn’t expecting for him to offer to go to the art festival with her, wasn’t expecting for him to offer to go together, and it catches her off guard. was almost certain that he was just going to shrug off her idea or end up going with one of his other rich friends instead. “i’ll have to cancel tomorrow with my other boyfriends then.” she jokes, certain that euijun would rather spend the much needed time on training anyway and that her brother would also rather spend it studying for his upcoming exams. “i’ll see you tomorrow on campus then? i’ll meet you outside the library in the morning.” she offers, would rather they meet on campus than anywhere else.

     she’s a little sceptical on how much he’s selling the ice cream as being the best ever but doesn’t doubt that it’ll be great either way. her love for ice cream has no bounds and she would be willing to give up one of her kidneys if it meant she could have an infinite supply of ice cream. taking the cup with both hands as he hands it to her, gaze glistening a little too brightly as she stares at the ice cream looking a little too aesthetic in her cup, a quiet “...woah.” leaving her. and, he’s asking her before she could even take a bite, taking a spoon to her lips, immediately feeling all the prior scepticism melting away along with the pistachio ice cream. “woah.” more audible this time, “it is amazing.” she nods, enthusiastically. 

     “hey, were you serious about going to the art festival together tomorrow?” glancing over at him, as she takes another bite of ice cream, not wanting to cancel plans with euijun and her brother if it turned out that jungkook was only joking. “and when you said you used to draw, what was your art style?” taking more interest in him than she had initially thought she would be, “we should draw something together and enter the art competition.” she adds, “i think the prize this year are tickets to somewhere— you probably don’t need them, but i could use them.” she could always use some free tickets to go on an excursion elsewhere, whether it be to the aquarium or to tokyo or versailles. 

[kcrtia]

KIHA

the kiss doesn’t sink in kiha until the ear piece and microphones are off him, until miles is talking to him and the first thing that fills the main vocalist is dread— after all they just recovered from a gay scandal, miles just finished suing their fans and dispatch for the slander and here they were singing on a big stage that will be broadcasted on tv and it shows in how kiha is pale for a moment, but then when he looks at miles and doesn’t see anger or even annoyance, when the only thing that kiha can see when he looks at his boyfriend is fondness and warmth— just then, that kiha feels a little embarrassed, sheepish even; makes him want to kiss miles again. “i can always claim that you looked so pretty i thought you were a girl.” he returns with a teasing smile of his own, even though his eyes are nothing but endeared when they set on the youngest.

only then that kiha thanks the staff quietly for their hard work when they come to say that he and miles should go change their clothes, a sense of relief filling him because it means that they could finally go home. crescent already had its own performance, some members like marco only stayed behind out of companionship — and also probably to just see miles in a dress and a wig since that’s most likely never happening again —, but then none of that lasts long because the next thing that kiha knows he’s being placed over miles’ shoulders, only being able to make a soft yelp. “miles, let me down!” he tries to sound like he’s protesting, but fails completely when he can’t stop giggling. “i didn’t do anything!”

but as much as kiha tried to protest here and there while being carried by miles, he obediently stood still on the youngest’s shoulder and cling to his dress just so the main vocalist would have an even more sense of security — since he knew that miles wouldn’t drop him anyway —, not even caring that the other people were giving them weird looks while the two crescent members passed through them, either because all the noise that kiha is making or because of how he’s being carried by the youngest. besides, the main vocalist naturally gets a little giddy whenever miles manhandled him no matter how much he’ll deny it to his grave.

he’s still giggling a little when he’s put down, his face a little redder since all his blood went to his head while he was over miles’ shoulder. “now we’re getting even more lawsuits.” he tuts jokingly, though he thinks that nothing will surpass the kiss they shared on stage even if the rumor of the youngest carrying the main vocalist around the backstage would be definitely a nice addition to the romantic plot behind the kiss that he’s sure their fans are going to create. he only hopes that this time that doesn’t leak out of their fandom and ends up turning into something bigger again.

kiha sighs softly and gives miles a more sympathetic look when he comments about the dress, can only imagine how the other must be feeling. “i’ll start practicing my rap now so if we need to do this again i’ll be hyuna instead.” he promises, though truth is that kiha has tried to be trained for rap for all the time that he was trained to be in crescent, all the four to five years that he was stuck in those practice rooms, but he never really found much improvement, never really understood the structure of rapping so at some point his rapping lessons were more of a formality than anything else, never really going close to that area of expertise since he debuted.

he takes off his jacket then while he’s guided to where they can change their clothes with more privacy even if at this point there were only male staff around, returning the piece of outfit to one of the employees standing nearby and also starting to undo the buttons of his shirt as well. the faster that they change their clothes, the sooner they can get home and finally enjoy their first valentines day together. but halfway through, kiha stops and peeks his head out to where he was changing. “miles, can you come here for a bit?” he asks in an impulsive act. “i think i might need a little help with my clothes.” and he tries his best to sound innocent, even adds a little pout on at the end to make sure it seems convincing. 

     he hardly thinks that kiha’s reasoning made any sense, that it was compelling enough to convince anyone into believing that for a moment kiha really thought of him as a girl on stage. that, as much as the wig and dress did its part, that no amount of concealing would be enough to hide the way his frame was clearly not built to be squished into hyuna’s dress— nor does the way that his shoulders sit a little too wide and his stance, a little too heavy to be anything but feminine. he rolls his eyes at kiha’s comment, a smirk accompanying.

     but he was also certain that no fan was going to be dumb enough to be putting out content and start to accuse them of being a couple nor defame them— even if, those comments would now be true, considering their relationship was now official between them. he was certain that no one was going to be brave enough as to reiterate the mistake that they made prior about him, the one that had gotten numerous other fans in lawsuits, is sure that no one would want to live through that again. and he’s certain that his fandom— what’s left of it after their initial scandal, was going to over interpret anything. he’s relieved in a way, that the lawsuits he had pressed against people had some uses, did its thing and frightened the right people, at least now— dispatch wasn’t going to wrongfully accuse him of anything, of kiha anything.

     “in that case, i look forward to making more money.” his smirk only growing as he spoke, the thought of having to pursue numerous other lawsuits only to come out victorious was exciting in itself. and he took too much pleasure in having carried kiha around on his shoulder, getting a few stares here and there, but everyone dismissing it as a crescent thing— at least, hopefully.

     he doesn’t think he’s much good at rapping, average at best but it seems with rigorous training, he had managed to improve just the slightest. his coaching sessions becoming more valuable to him than he had initially thought once he was able to differentiate the difference in his flow before and after each session. glad that to some extent, he was able to cover some of the rap lines if ever necessary, despite it being very minimal, leaving most of it the professionals like marco. though, in moments like these— where he is forced to showcase his rapping skills, he couldn’t help but feel a little sheepish, feels that he was still lacking too much to be given the opportunity to perform like this on stage. and he vows to train even harder, maybe even overthrow marco one day.

     “you mean, there’s going to be a next time?” he shudders at the thought alone, at the thought of having to put on this attire, this wig, this entire thing again. 

     it doesn’t take him long for him to put over his initial black shirt, pulling on his black joggers and sliding the dress off— kicking it to the side, only to receive some scolding from the stylists for rough handling the dress that was supposedly very expensive. he highly doubts it, considering it made him itchy throughout the whole thing. then, he hears kiha’s voice, glancing over at the other’s direction, tilting his head in slight confusion, certain that there were stylists around to help kiha, “yep.” he announces, paces over to the other, “you okay?” he carefully peeks, “you want me to call over a stylist or something?” he offers, thinking that he’s probably not much help, considering what he had just done to his own attire. 

[kcrtia]

YUNA

yuna could only wish that her father was half as attentive as euijin’s mom, that he bothered to actually teach and prepare his children to live on their own instead of focusing so much on his own campaign, forging her and insu to be whatever his campaign needed them to be, to make them grow so attached to their father— so dependent on him that they couldn’t disobey even if they wanted to. but once again he pushes those melancholic and bitter thoughts to the back of her head and instead— “oh, so what’s your favorite meal?” and yuna makes a note to remember it and make sure to learn it, perhaps to make a small surprise for euijin or even— they’re going to get married so it feels right to learn what his favorite meal is.

the law student nods quietly when euijin asks if they could take one selfie before and another after, still feeling a little nervous even though it’s a little ridiculous. after all, it’s just a picture. she and euijin have taken a couple of pictures before, official and non official ones during their more casual dates. however, she can’t help but feel like this one is different since the other specified it was for his mother. that’s why yuna takes a small deep breath, fixes her hair a little before smiling when euijin points the camera at them, making sure to lean a little more on the other not only to have them both in the frame, but also because this is an obvious gesture to reaffirm to his parents that they have a good relationship, that they at least look like a real couple. “no problem,” she kindly dismisses his gratitude. “i really hope she likes it.” me, her mind corrects her words but her mouth stays fortunately closed.

“could you send me the photos later?” she asks shyly after a beat. “i mean— my father too would like to see them.” which is a very small white lie since yuna wasn’t going to send anything to her father— maybe if it was before she found out about his affair, she would because that’d be something to appease him with especially when she has snuck out from the party too early, but now she feels like he isn’t even worth appeasing, doesn’t care if he’ll lecture her to the moon and back tomorrow because she made him look bad or whatever. yuna honestly just wants something to keep the memory of spending her seollal with someone she cares about and cares about her back after so long, but that reason seems a little too embarrassing to say out loud.

“ah, yes. i’ll be right back then!” yuna takes her own hanboks of choices, adding the green one like she promised before being guided by one of the staff to where she could change her clothes with more privacy since unfortunately she couldn’t just put the hanbok over her dress as easily as euijin has done with his own, the same way she’s grateful when one of them offers to do her hair when she’s done putting the traditional clothes on, tying it up with a hair accessory that fits with the hanbok she was wearing.

she chose to try the lilac one first since that’s what euijin say he’d do and they’re supposed to be matching, her mind wondering how the other would look in the color, but then getting distracted when the staff were complimenting her about her looks when they were done. “thank you.” she answers shyly, before asking if she could check with the man she came with what he thought about what she was wearing before trying the other colors that she had chosen and that’s when she sees euijin and oh— “i knew that you’d look handsome.” she says in lieu of a greeting, a small but pleased smile on her lips, bordering on teasing, because to be fair euijin always looked handsome, but indeed— “lilac looks good on you.”

then she clears her throat shyly. “so, what do you think?” yuna asks about her own outfit, showing it off a little bit.

     he mentally thanks his mother, wants her to know that in this moment he was truly appreciative of her, the more he reflected on what she did for him. in the moment, he had taken her granted and found that her demands seemed almost unreasonable, that she would only let them move out once they could cook a sufficient amount and was able to at least do their own laundry and house work around the place. despite, their father’s active objections to having his sons doing anything slightly as laborious as lifting a finger. but it was good to know that despite everything, if he had lost all the wealth that he currently possessed, that he would be perfectly fine with it, perfectly functioning and able to live a life without feeling as though he had a missing limb.

     “kimchi stew and fried rice.” feeling a little sheepish as he replied to her, “it’s not the most complicated but that’s one of my signature dishes.” he offers a slight smile, feeling as though he was still severely lacking in comparison to his brother— like most things that he lacks. 

     and he’s thankful that yuna was as easygoing and compliant as she is, mentally notes down for himself to treat her a little nicer whenever he can. he knows that his mother would be fawning over the picture once he gets it sent to her, knows that despite this year, it wasn’t her two sons spending time together for seollal— but at least she could be rest assured that he was doing well with his fiance. the hope that his mother has in him falling in love with yuna eventually, was an obvious one. the way she would inquire about yuna whenever given the chance, the way she would ask him if he had spoken with yuna prior and if he had gotten her any flowers or things of the like. his mother takes interest in trying to get to know yuna and he knows it was mostly for his own sake than his father’s incessant need to be a control freak.

     he nods as she asks about the photos, “of course.” smiling as he spoke, “she’ll definitely like it, thanks.” his smile morphing into a grin. 

     he finds the lilac against his frame a little intimidating, never having seen such a colour on himself that it makes feel a little out of place. though, he supposes it should be fine as long as yuna was in a matching one too, at least then, he wouldn’t feel so horribly left glowing in something so pale. and he also knows for a fact that his mother would find this incredibly adorable of her son to be giving in to colours this light. 

     her comment catches him off guard as his gaze shifts from the mirror to her, hues widening as his smile resurfaces, “it looks better on you, it seems.” he returns the compliment, “i think lilac’s your colour. you look beautiful.” features softening, “well— i think it’s decided then. lilac it is.” he also feels a little too lazy to try on any other alternative, considering it had already taken this long for him to get into this getup. he was happy to settle at this point, and was more excited about venturing out into the festival. “what do you think?”

[kcrtia]

KIHA

“good, just let me know when then.” kiha is happy and ridiculously relieved when miles actually accepts his help with the moving in, can feel his heart putting itself together even if just a little, even if he also has to avidly ignore the fact that he isn’t moving in with miles instead. he tells himself that he can do this, that he can be the supportive friend and help with unboxing and getting the apartment ready for the other to live in. he’s even going to buy something for miles to congratulate him for getting the apartment and moving in completely and he puts away that thought for when he has the time to stop and search what would be a good thing to give to his best friend’s new apartment.

the main vocalist holds back the urge to frown when miles mentions instant noodles, because he knows for a fact that’s exactly what the other is going to be living off — and maybe some take out here and there — if he’s left on his own. he also holds back the urge to offer to cook for miles if the youngest wants to, that he can come over whenever if miles is feeling like having some homemade food and, whenever kiha is visiting his family, grandma always ends up overcooking because she knows kiha is going to share it with miles anyway so if the other wanted he could stop by whenever with food— and just so many possibilities that kiha is willing to offer miles just so the other won’t end up dragging himself into an early just because he doesn’t know how to cook.

but then kiha also has to remind himself that he’s, in fact, not miles’ housekeeper, much less his mother, so it isn’t his place to meddle into the youngest’s eating choices, though he makes a note to himself to invite miles to have meals together somewhat often so he can make sure the other isn’t drowning himself in unhealthy food on his own. “that’s nice.” is what he ends up saying instead, trying to sounding sincere, because at least it being close to yuseong means that miles is still close to the dorms so it’s easy for kiha, as much as he doesn’t have a car, to still stop by his apartment sometimes or whenever miles asks him to come over.

“ah,” the main vocalist shouldn’t be as surprised as he is when the youngest asks him about moving out, still needs to think about a way to answer the question without sounding like he’s desperate for miles to ask him to be his roommate, but also not shutting out that possibility completely. “not yet, it’s just,” he shrugs. “i don’t think i have the mind to go apartment hunting for now.” nevermind that kiha never liked the prospective of living alone, especially in an apartment that was clearly made for seven people instead of one, but that seems better than going through the whole trouble of looking at apartment after apartment until he finds the perfect one.

“but if you have any recommendations, i could look at them.” the main vocalist adds, because he thinks that’s a nice way to sense how close miles wants kiha to be, perhaps even maybe this would be the chance to maybe get the youngest to ask him to move in together if that’s what miles even wants.

kiha can’t help the laugh that escapes his lips when miles suggests opening a restaurant on his own, especially when he quickly adds that it might not be a good idea considering how the chances of the youngest setting the whole thing on fire is too hight. “i mean,” he giggles softly. “you could always hire me as your chef and then you take care of the front of the restaurant.” kiha offers playfully though a part of himself honestly doesn’t mind that scenario, even thinks it’d be nice in a way and wouldn’t mind leaving his music as perhaps a hobby if that meant having a life with miles like that— though he doesn’t let his mind wander too much because then his scenario gets a little too wild, including things like he and miles ending up in a relationship., perhaps even adopting a puppy to complete their little family and—

the main vocalist clears his throat, hopes his cheeks aren’t too pink. “starting your own company sounds nice too, i’m sure a lot of artists would want to sign with you.” and kiha is being honest, is absolutely certain that a lot of idols, especially ones who are running away from their old agencies would love to sign with someone who has been on the same shoes as them, someone younger and who could understand them better than any old authoritarian ceo could ever even dream of doing.

     he feels a little guilty for having accepted kiha’s help with him moving into his new place, feels that he was undeserving of the other’s help. especially, considering that they were both going through the scandal and the least that kiha deserved, was some peace without miles intruding in on that. and he couldn’t help but feel bad for having accepted the help that was offered him, almost contemplates on taking back his words or maybe just ghosting all future correspondence with the other temporarily, or up until he was properly settled into his new home— whichever came first. 

     he nods as kiha mentions not having the mind to go apartment hunting because he gets it, he understands not having the sanity to venture out into the wilderness and to inspect numerous properties, choosing one that appealed the most to him. “be my roommate then.” he throws out there, tries to make it sounds like a passing comment, a joke but the truth and weight that it carries was immeasurable. he feels his stomach twist for a moment, nervousness lacerating his frame— feeling a sinking feeling follow. “if you want, no pressure.” he adds, trying to mediate the jitters he feels in his chest, “or ask marco, i think he’s also looking for a roommate? he offered it, but—” he shrugs, feels that if the two of them actually shared a home together, that they would end up at each other’s necks. 

     sometimes he does wonder whether or not his life would have been better if he had chosen to stay behind and having not gone to the audition for yuseong to support his friend. wonders that if he had chosen instead, to pursue his academics and helping out at his mother’s restaurant, how different life would have been. sometimes he feels the regret sinking, feels that maybe he had chosen the wrong pathway, had been lead astray but his mother ensures him that she wouldn’t have it any other way— having two of her sons shining brighter than any star in the sky. 

     “i don’t think i’d have enough finances to pay for your expertise to work for my restaurant.” he lets a chuckle leave him. and he nods at the support of him opening up his own company, but also finds it somewhat hilarious that anyone would want to be signed under his label, other than himself and maybe his brother. “yeah, probably just my brother.” another chuckle, this time more genuine than the last, “who in the right mind would want to join my label after this scandal? especially, if i’m suing people left and right.”a sigh leaving him, despite everything, he had already begun to look into it.

     he had started to look into the processes of having his own company started, and what was going to be required of him, how much he had to set aside in order to have everything properly working. and what his contract would come to after leaving yuseong behind, and whether or not he was able to perform certain things due to the legalities of copyright. wasn’t sure that he had any right over his music that was produced and published by yuseong, but he lets that thought subside, decides instead that maybe with the possibility of his own company, that he would be able to finally release music that was his aesthetic and not something forced and guided.

     “actually— i might do that.” he begins to take the thought seriously, even if it were just going to be him and his brother— or even if it were just him. the freedom and liberty in itself was enough to entice him. 

[kcrtia]

KAHI

“i don't—” kahi starts with yet another scowl, but then stops himself midway through with an exasperated sigh since he knows full well that they’re just going back and forth in this aggressive argument until one of them — probably kahi, because it’s always kahi — eventually gives in and either leaves or changes the topic. he knows that the more riled up he’s with insu than the more riled up the other will return as well. that’s why in the end it’s the mafia heir who takes a deep breath to calm down. “it’s not what i said.” he says a little more evenly. “you know a lot of things.” especially when it’s to blackmail people, kahi’s brain can’t help but add though his mouth keeps itself shut about it. “you’re one of the smartest people i know.” he also adds, fights against the softness and affection that try to leak into his words and fails miserably.

“it’s just this very specific thing is way out of her league, that’s all.” because he made sure that it was that way, would rather hang himself before letting insu getting involved— even dreaming about knowing or getting involved with what kahi does, with what the coo went through. kahi also tries to sound non confrontational, doesn’t want to start yet another fight, though he also can’t help how he feels like an adult trying to explain and sooth a child.

and that softness and deep rooted fondness only grows when kahi catches a glimpse of how insu is almost a different person with his mother, with just simple murmuring from the room where the older woman is is enough to make the other smile. kahi feels his heart ache for a moment, having the urge to reach out and end up doing something stupid like offering his affection to insu when he knows that the other will easily punch him in return or anything along those lines. but it’s still there, the endearment that he feels towards insu, an affection that never died no matter how many years it has been since kahi left, leftovers of the want of something that he can’t have yet can’t let it go.

the mafia heir raises his eyebrows at insu’s reaction, not helping but feeling a little satisfied and perhaps a little smug because if he didn’t know any better, the politician’s son sounds almost jealous. kahi knows that he might be just acting a little delusional, that there’s no way that insu feels anything when the other only offers hostility and malicious remarks to him, but it’s hard to let go of the thought that insu might still care, is only trying to hide his true feelings behind a protective wall of hate because he was hurt before, because kahi hurt him when he left, but it doesn’t mean that his feelings died, just like kahi’s haven’t either. “oh, jealousy doesn’t suit you—” he starts with a clearly teasing tone, bordering on smug, however it dies as soon as insu’s words register on his head.

“wait, what?” and kahi is scowling in the next second, his heart seeming to have stopped beating for a second on his chest. “your father— marriage— arranged— what?” it’s hard to process the words, he feels, or maybe his brain already did but kahi is just in denial about it. he can’t help how a part of him simply breaks when he learns that insu is supposed to get married to someone else, to a stranger, someone his father thought was suited to add to his family to further his campaign most likely; can’t help how his brain is already coming up with images of murdering lee insik and that girl that is assigned to youth coordinator just in case, an ugly ugly part of him wanting to burn the world down for daring to take insu away from him like that.

of course that the coo himself has already received a couple of marriage proposals, his parents calling him old already and he needed to find someone to rule by his side, either be through love or through an arrangement, but of course that he rejected them all because he already had someone in mind, in his hear, even if they clearly didn’t want anything with them. however, kahi can’t bring himself to look at someone else, to be involved with anyone else that isn’t lee insu.

“you’re not getting married.” and he can’t help how it sounds like an order, has to clear his throat and change his tone to something more even and less authoritive. “what i mean is that you don’t seem like the type to give in to your father like that.” which is also true. insu has too much of a taste for his own freedom, especially when it also ends up being something that goes against his father. “what is the plan then?” because he’s sure that insu has one, or that at least yuna has one because she seems too much like a family type to let insu go through something like that.

it’s times like this that kahi wishes that he could tell insu all the truth, to warn him that khai isn’t joking about how he can kill a man and get away with it, that the youngest kang means it a little too much when he goes around offering to murder people— how that’s his hobby actually and at this point kahi stopped count of how many bodies that his brother buried. he wants to say that he can help, that he has contacts and no one would go against his mafious family, that he can insu anything that he wants as long as the other says so. but at the same time, kahi knows that he kept insu away from the truth for a reason, that it wouldn’t do any good for the other to know the true nature of the kang family, of kahi and khai.

“believe me, i know.” but he also can’t help but throw a little bait in there, something just to see insu’s reaction. “i taught him most of those, after all.” which is also true— is also something that kept kahi awake a couple of nights, wondering if he was the one who turned his brother in the monster that he is or if this was all unavoidable considering what kind of family they were born into; that if it wasn’t kahi who taught him then someone else would, or he’d eventually learn on his own.

     you’re one of the smartest people i know. the laughter that leaks from his lips, almost intoxicating in the sense of the way that his mind finds no truth in the other’s words. finds that kahi was only speaking to mock and to insult him, as if rubbing salt into his already gaping wounds. and it doesn’t help when the staff turns to look back, eyeing insu as if he too, were insane, much like his own mother. his gaze narrows, features evening out as they fall flat. features resuming his condescending gaze, one laced with apathy— eyes, rolling as a tch accompanies his lazed back posture in the seat. 

     he wasn’t sure at what point, that all his sadness had turn to anger. the way he almost mourned their friendship that had turn into a relationship, how he remembers nights spent sleeplessly going through all their prior text messages— how all that sadness turned into a burning, sanguine need to drown out the ache in his heart, instead to replace it with a hatred so deep that it makes him want to puke at the sight of kahi. since when, he had equated betrayal and all emotions so deep and terrifying to kahi, since he had wanted to burn every part of his body to feel every part of it ache with the detestation that he feels. 

     “what a fucking joke.” he huffs in between tired sighs. jealousy, was clearly not one of the emotions he felt— as much as he tried to convince himself. the anger and hatred that he felt for kahi overweighed any other emotion that had managed to cut through the thickness of the abhorrence that bleeds into his bloodstream. at least, that’s what he tells himself. 

     he wasn’t sure where things were going to go from here, from the point where he takes slight interest into his arranged marriage that his father had set up in exchange for his mother’s visitation rights. digits raising to run through his strands as he settles back more comfortably in his seat, more of tiredness than annoyance. he was almost certain that if he were to just outrightly deny his father’s attempts, that he would receive a slap to the face but not much else. a moment of anger that would soon subside with more enticing offers, that his father thinks he would like to perhaps, finally cave into the offer.

     another laugh leaving him, more out of amusement for the other’s words. “i don’t seem like the type?” he turns to kahi, brows raising, “excuse you?” corner tugging into a smirk of disbelief. “and what do you know about me?” as much as he valued the little freedom that he was graced with, he valued his mother’s presence more. valued the little time that he had left with her, knowing that it wasn’t going to be a long one. a sigh leaving him, already feeling too tired to put up another trivial fight— letting his anger subside for a moment, promising momentary peace. “there is no plan.” he shrugs.

     his cynical chuckle turning into a lighter one, “you taught him? khai? yeah, sure and i taught him how to be a scientist.” his tone seemingly more at peace than what it had been prior, he had created enough of a scene that he almost felt guilty to his mother. unbeknownst to him, he shakes his head, another sigh— having lost count. “i saw him skin a live rabbit just last week.” glancing over at kahi for a moment, “he’s pretty fucked up, you know.” he couldn’t help the chuckle that leaves shortly after, finding the other’s younger brother being such a dynamic character. “i saw him inject someone with vegetable oil at a house party.”

[kcrtia]

KIHA

kiha chuckles softly when miles comments about marco’s height. “you know if he hears you saying that, he’ll choke you.” though it wasn’t exactly news to anyone that marco was one of the shortest of the group— even shorter than kiha who isn’t exactly the tallest out there and honestly the main vocalist thought that title really fit the rapper in more than one way. then again, he wasn’t about to say that in front of the other and prefers to keep a neutral stance and neither deny nor agree when miles and even other members tease marco in that way, especially when he knows that himself doesn’t have much ground to stand on. but he does allow himself to smirk a little, to find it amusing regardless.

then the main vocalist moves when he’s given permission, starting with the boxes that were closer to the door to see if he found something. actually, he was surprised that miles kept this much stuff— didn’t throw away half of it without knowing what was in it even if just for the sake of having more space. he has always known that he was one of the members who received the least of pr stuff — though he’s still waiting to be sponsored by companies with studio equipment no matter how much wishful thinking it is —, but he never thought that the members who received the most — and the thing is that he’s sure that the youngest isn’t even the one who receives the most — got so many things no matter if this amount of boxes were most likely accumulated throughout the years of their crescent career.

“i still can’t believe you got gucci to send you plastic plates and whatnot.” he comments amused when miles shows him what he has found, looking up to see it and there they were. plastic utensils with the expensive brand logo all over them and kiha couldn’t help but wonder if the brand actually sold any of those like balenciaga that sometimes just sells the most random of things and what kind of small fortune they costed just because of that logo.

“thanks.” then, the main vocalist hums when he’s given the box full of underwear and socks, looking through it for a second just enough that he could pick a couple that were his size so he’d wear them throughout the weekend. though he still puts it aside in a corner that is easy to find just if he ends up needing more while he’d need to bring his own underwear from the dorm.

kiha can’t help but chuckle softly when he looks at miles with his glasses. it reminds when he himself found a box full of gucci, but it’s mostly filled with questionable shirts and bags, all too colorful and… abstract for what he assumes is miles’ style. so he also takes one of the most horrendous shirts and takes it out of the box to show it to miles. “this really could go well with the glasses.” he teases before putting it back on the box to be forgotten until the youngest makes good on his promise and cleans the rest of the room.

“we could clean it together if you want.” kiha offers while standing up again, taking the chance to also stretch a little with a soft groan. “then i can see if i find anything else that i like.” and he isn’t surprised when miles admits that it’s been months since he has gone through this room to clean it up, wouldn’t be surprised either if the other hasn’t bothered to deal with it since he just put all the boxes in there when he moved out, only entering the space to put more pr boxes because he wouldn’t use the products in them.

the main vocalist makes a quick stop at miles’ bedroom again so he can put the underwear that he chose on top of the bed, before going back to the kitchen just in the time for the intercom to ring— probably either their chicken or his cake. but instead of going for the door to check, kiha goes to where miles is setting the table and rests his hands on the other’s hips gently, getting on his toes to press a soft on miles’ cheek. “baby, can you get the door?” he asks, voice surprisingly full of affection and warmth considering what kiha is actually saying. “i’ll finish setting those.” or maybe he’s just playing a little dirty because he doesn’t feel comfortable in answering miles’ door.

kiha knows that miles would be ready to say that the apartment is as much his as it’s the main vocalist’s, but that’s still a fact that needs to fully sink in with him, something that he needs a little more time to get completely used to— and maybe when he has his things moved in, kiha will feel more like he belongs, but for now, he feels very much like miles’ guest if anything.

     despite marco being the shortest in the group, he had the most sass and pizzaz amongst everyone. it was clear why marco was given the title as the group’s vitamin, clear that no one aside from marco could carry the sunshine that was himself in crescent. even though, behind closed doors, marco was a nightmare bestowed upon miles by the evil dark lord himself. but given the nickname of crescent’s short king, it was well deserved. the older did receive the most pr gifts, was always signed and being the ambassador of numerous luxury designing houses. he was always invited to shows and events that not even miles knew of, so exclusive that he would have sworn they were scams. 

     “i think they only sent me the plastic stuff because i mentioned once on a show that i needed some utensils and joked about them being gucci.” he shrugs, “two weeks later, i received them.” still finding it almost outrageous that he had that kind of influence as to be able to demand things from fashion houses, things so trivial and juvenile as cutlery and plastic plates. still finds it hard to believe that anyone would want to cater or work for him. “still blows my mind that anyone would listen to me.” a sigh leaving him, more out of disbelief than tiredness. “i’m sure you receive cooler things and more things than i do.” digits coming to run through his strands, “and i’m sure you’re more organised than i am.” he adds, another sigh, this time evidently more tired than the last.

     the clothes handed to him were all too colourful, he almost shivers at the sight of the shirt handed to him by kiha, “i should probably also bleach my hair flaming, red hot cheeto colour.” tone filled with sarcasm, “it’ll really bring out the look.” he adds, visualising the image in his head and already shuddering at the thought alone, knowing full well that the brands were only sending him items out of courtesy. the only true brand that had his back and knew him personally was balenciaga, always sending him black items of clothing— something more realistic for his wardrobe and aesthetic. 

     he nods as kiha suggests them sorting out his pr room together, “yeah, that would be nice. you can keep that weird shirt for starters.” he jokes, a chuckle leaving him. 

     digits moving to set the table up, but already finding it all too foreign. setting up a table was never something he did, always having microwaved something and using the disposable fork that would come along with the food in the packaging— this was new. then, he hears the intercom, feels kiha’s hands on his hips shortly after and the warm sensation of the other pressing kiss against his cheek. still not used to any of this, not used to the way kiha was now addressing him, not used to the way his features would paint itself pink and the way his heart would skip a beat. he nods, backing away and heading for the door, suspects that it’s probably either the chicken or the cake. 

     upon opening the door, he’s greeted with a box big enough to cover his entire torso. he could peer into the top of the box, seeing the candles and kiha’s own face in icing atop, a chuckle leaving him at the sight of it. moving back to the kitchen island, as he places the cake down, “it’s a lot bigger than i thought.” he admits, didn’t take the dimensions of the cake into mind as he ordered it online. this was going to take several people to eat, or maybe in three days if he was left unsupervised and with no other food options. “oh, that reminds me. i’ll give the pin for the door too, i never use it though because i don’t think it’s that secure in comparison to the key.” after all the true crime that he has watched, having a door without a physical lock and key was almost a nightmare.

[kcrtia]

YUNA

yuna still isn’t sure if euijin actually means it— as much as she gives the other as much of the benefit of the doubt as she can, it’s still hard to believe that he’s so willing with yuna for the sake of it, that he’d indeed just make an excuse if he didn’t want to be there with her or maybe even drop her back home when it was confirmed that they wouldn’t be going to the party together which was what was settled for one of their first dates. a part of her can’t help but think that euijin sees this as part os his obligations which is something, of course, that the law student won’t hold it against him if he is, because yuna feels the same way to some extend. neither of them are in that arrangement because they wanted to.

it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that euijin is just saying that to be nice, to make yuna drop the topic, because he needs to play nice for the sake of what their engagement means to their parents.

but yuna fools herself and takes the other’s words at face’s value, but also reminds herself to not abuse euijin’s good will with her during their next dates, to still be careful when offering her opinions and planning what they’re going to do in their future dates to make sure that the actor was enjoying his time as much as he could with a fiancee that he never wanted. “ok.” she offers him the same smile, letting herself feel a little happy and her chest warmed by his words. after all, yuna does have enough consideration for euijin to want him to like spending time with her, that as much as it’s an obligation, it isn’t a bad obligation.

then she can’t help the softest chuckle that escapes her lips when euijin comments about making a goal because of her, though yuna also feels her cheeks a little warm and her heart getting a little excited because the idea of having someone being motivated to that extend with something as simple as her support. “does this also mean that if i send a coffee truck with embarrassing but encouraging messages to your set you’d feels more inspired while acting?” but she decides to joke instead, though a part of her was honestly thinking about doing such gesture even before meeting euijin because that seemed what a good fiancee would do, something that would please his father at least since it’d be a very blatant show of “affection” between them— and of course she’d leave out the embarrassing messages then.

and yuna is surely relieved that euijin doesn’t seem offended by her vision of what being an actress is like, though again she isn’t sure if he’s just being agreeable or if he means it. the law student just nods quietly, deciding to distract herself both with her hamburger and the other’s favorite movies. “tororo is a classic though.” she reassures him when she swallows down the bite that she took, an endeared smile on her lips because it was such a cute choice and euijin only gets cuter when he admits to also liking up. “did you cry watching up?” she can’t help but ask, especially— “because i did, sobbed and everything.” yuna remembers crying her eyes out during the start of the movie with the flashback of the poor elder man, how it made her long for a love that she clearly would never have.

“i really like the howl’s moving castle.” she answers with a soft hum. “howl is cute, but that isn’t the only reason why i like the movie.” she adds, not being able to deny that she had a crush on howl for a good while after watching the movie and still thinks he’s a very fine animated man even with his whims. “and for a non animated movie, i’ll have to go with la la land. bet it isn’t s surprise considering i’d like to be an actress if i could.” she shrugs, finishing her hamburger and then taking a sip of her soda.

euijin’s next question makes yuna honestly pause and consider if she should ask to skip it, because her childhood memories were filled with her mother which is a very sensitive topic to bring up with her fiance of all people or they were very angst filled which was yet another thing that yuna would rather not talk about with him just yet. but then yuna stares at soda can on her hands and maybe— maybe that will be a safe story to some degree, especially when compared to the others that she has. “my dad has always been strict,” yuna starts, but doesn’t look at euijin when she does. “and a little—” aggressive. “intense when giving out his lectures, so one day he scolded me for some reason, i don’t even remember what exactly it was.” nevermind that yuna actually does, but wants to downplay this whole thing.

“and i got very upset about it.” she remembers crying and thinking she was the worst human being in the whole world, that she didn’t deserve anything god because she was an useless daughter. “so my mom tried to comfort me.” there’s a soft smile on her lips, a little nostalgic but also a little melancholic. “took to a convenience store, saying that she knew just the right thing to make me feel better.” then she gesture to soda can in her hand. “made this whole story about how it was a magical liquid made by fairies that took all the bad feelings away — i was seven so of course i believed her, by the way — so that became our little tradition. we used to sneak out and she’d buy me watermelon soda whenever i was sad or when dad went a little overboard with his scolding.” she finishes her story with another sip of her drink. “what about yours?”

     he was not one to be readily rebellious of his father, wouldn’t be the one to turn down opportunities or errands simply because he didn’t feel like it. he would feel that the consequences of showing any form of resistance towards his father would result into something that wasn’t worth all the trouble anyway, but he’d like to think that his mother would side with him more if he were to confide in her about how unhappy he truly was in his engagement. that if he had expressed to her that he felt out of place, being at a party with someone he barely knew just to please his father— that his mother would allow him to take a break or two from their dates, just to gather himself. but his mother also knows that her son is capable of faking his disposition for better or for worse, to use his own career in his favour and to deliver a performance worth while.

     but the thought doesn’t cross his mind, that he would ever need an excuse to get away from a date with yuna. he thinks that she’s pleasant enough and tolerable enough for him to endure at least a few hours of her presence, if not for her having finding him annoying. he doesn’t want to come off as any particular type of way, doesn’t want to exude an unwelcoming aura, nor does he want to appear as though he’s only here to appease his parents. and he thinks he’s doing well. 

     “if they’re embarrassing enough, i might feel just that bit more inspired.” he returns the teasing tone, hoping that she wouldn’t in fact actually go through with it. “but you shouldn’t. we get enough food as it is on set.” he attempts to explain himself a bit more, lets the smile curve on his corners again. would much prefer to keep the spotlight off of himself, much to the belief that the lead actor would like to remain the centre. if he had any choice, he would have chosen something less intimidating, yet his mother makes it known that she is very proud of where he is. and he wouldn’t have it any other way, her approval was what he valued most.

     “absolutely.” he nods his head, a chuckle leaving him as she recalls to him having cried through the movie up. “i cried the second the movie started playing.” despite having not shed a single tear throughout, although, he did find the movie extremely touching, found that the way they showcased the value and ventures of love through adolescence to adulthood. the steps that were to be taken and the journey of love, how time changes things and how eventually, everything is returned to the way it was— returned to an oblivion of nothingness. he lets the sad thought sink in for a moment, hopes that one day, he’d be able to experience at least a tiny fraction of the love that was displayed in the movie. 

     another smile gracing at his corners as she spoke of her favourite movie, seeing that it made since. and as the topic shifts to their vivid childhood memories and her description of her own father, how it reminds him severely of his own. finds it a little sad that she had described her and her mother having to sneak out just for some soda, wasn’t sure if her words were intended to be this upsetting or if she was just trying to play out the dramatics. he has yet to be able to get a grasp of yuna’s personality just yet. so, instead, he just nods and tries to be as sympathetic as he can. 

     “intense lectures, wouldn’t have it any other way.” he sarcastic adds as she inquires about his own experiences, not wanting to delve into anything she had mentioned prior out of respect for her own privacy. if she had wanted to share some more, surely, she would’ve mentioned more. “my brother and i would say that we were staying back from school to study extra, but we would sneak out and spend the hour or so at the local arcade.” a chuckle leaving him, recalling the scenario in his mind, “and every time we would win something, we’d have to stash it away in the school lockers.” choosing instead to pick a lighter story, not wanting to delve into anything too deep for a conversation that was only carried out not too long ago. “and when valentines day and christmas came around, we’d take it out and say that my brother’s admirers gave it to him.” he shrugs, smile turning into a grin at the fond memory.

     “okay, your turn. what would you like to know?” he returns the question.

[kcrtia]

KIHA

kiha can’t look at miles after his confession so instead he stares at his own hands fidgeting on top of the table, is honestly scared of the reaction that he’ll see there— an irrational part of him thinking that the other would understand where the main vocalist is coming from, would understand and agree that putting up with kiha glued to him like a koala was too much, that he’d grow sick of his own boyfriend in such a short period of time because kiha was just too much. at this point, the main vocalist knows how much miles likes his own space and as much as kiha has always been an exception for that, it was clear that only went so far— that there’s still a limit that he shouldn’t cross, learned that in the worst way and now he’s scared of doing it again.

but still, he isn’t scared of miles, of having the other reacting so strongly at kiha’s reckless and selfish approach, but he’s scared of pushing the other to that point in the first place, to make miles feel so cornered that he thought the only way out was to hurt kha.

but the main vocalist does stop fidgeting when miles reaches for his hands, can’t help the increase of the rhythm of his heartbeat with the view of how much the other’s hands just engulfed his own, the difference of their sizes, and then he’s looking up with a weak glare when miles calls him a serial killer — though he does agree that without context of their relationship, it does seem a little creepy that someone would like another’s smell that much —, but that glare doesn’t linger, not when the youngest next words are so sweet, when he has to yet get used to miles saying i love you to him. they do work to appease kiha for a moment, but now that his insecurity is out there, he can’t really shut it down so easily. “but that’s the thing,” he licks his lips out of nerves. “it’s going to be worse.” and that’s the point he was trying to make.

“when we lived in the dorms, we were just friends.” he clarifies. “but now i just—” and it’s a little hard to explain how kiha ends up feeling like he can get away with much more now that they’re dating, how he craves more now that their relationship status changed. “i’ll be unsufferable, you’ll need to pry me away with i don’t even know what.”

and then it’s kiha’s eyes that melt into a warm gaze when miles once again brings up his temper. “i said i’m not scared of your temper, of you.” and it’s his turn to try to engulf the youngest’s hands but in the end he just interlaces their fingers instead. “you know i wasn’t completely innocent in that argument, right?” because he feels he needs to remind the other of it. “i pushed you too far and honestly i’m scared of doing that again because it hurt you, because—” and kiha feels a little ashamed of his actions, of— “it made you feel like the only way out was to do what you did.” nevermind that kiha also crossed yet another line and slapped miles in return.

“i know you won’t hurt me.” and he misses miles’ hands the moment that the other retrieves them, but kiha knows better than to reach out for them again. “i meant it when i said that the only thing that you do is keeping me safe. how could i be scared of you when you’re this good to me?” he offers a smile to miles then, all soft and fond around the edges that leaks to his words. “you’re the best thing i’ve ever had, you know.”

     for the most part, he was still a little uncertain with how to resolve things properly with kiha now that they were in a relationship. what’s worse is that he doesn’t know how to properly communicate to begin with, to even have his thoughts articulated in a way that wouldn’t sound so offensive. wasn’t sure how he was going to get everything off his chest without sounding as though he was ready to fight kiha to the death or to start muttering in riddles for the other to decipher in his free time. instead, he takes a breath in and lets his thoughts settle in his mind. sometimes he felt overly possessive of kiha, in the sense that he didn’t even want anyone near the other— didn’t want kiha to be out of his reach, would almost feel a sense of anxiety kicking in whenever the other was scheduled out of miles’ own to do list. but he would sound all too pathetic admitting everything.

     it’s going to be worse. a subtle frown appearing across his features as he tilts his head to the side with slight confusion, not completely understanding what kiha was saying. he wasn’t sure how any of this could be described as bad let alone worse, wasn’t sure what kiha meant by it and even if he did— was almost certain that nothing kiha could ever do would be deemed as bad. “what makes you think i’d want to pry you away from me?” he returns the question, almost contemplates on whether or not it was his fault that kiha felt this way. whether or not he had done something so terrible for kiha to think that he would be grow sick and bored of kiha, that he would want to pry himself away from kiha simply because they were going to be sharing the same roof. 

     “what makes you think that? is it me? did i do something?” his furrowed brows only intensifying as he pushes his questions out from his mind, trying to control his tone and not sound as confrontational as his features were displaying. only easing up when kiha reassures him that he isn’t afraid of miles, neither his temper. but the other’s reasoning doesn’t completely sit well him miles either, doesn’t feel like he had the right to do what he did to kiha back in the practice room, that nothing gave him the excuse— the authority, to grab at kiha like that. he shakes his head, “no— no, what i did wa— no.” he pauses, unsure of how to word himself, “no, that’s not— the things i had said to you, they were not—” he sighs, shaking his head still. “what i did was inexcusable.” he settles, finding that, that conclusion was easier to come to than trying to form half sentences with his words.

     but he softens right back up when kiha continues to speak, when kiha tells him that he was best thing to have ever happened to kiha. it warms him up inside, almost makes him want to dismiss the fact that they were out in public and he couldn’t openly throw his arms around kiha to embrace him and pull him in, to plant his lips against the other. instead, he settles with tug of his corners, “then move in with me, let me keep you safe. you don’t have to stay in my room— you can have your own room on the other side.” he offers.

[kcrtia]

KIHA

kiha doesn’t even think that maybe it’s a little risky to show miles his escapade routes, that maybe this means that he’ll have to find other ways to sneak around the palace or at least to update his information about the guards’ patrol schedules and how much are put to patrol the palace, though at the same time he wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. as much as he’d feel a little betrayed by that gesture, a big part of him knows that miles will do that because that’s his job, because he cares for kiha and his safety, because it’s fine if the prince is the only one using this route, but the picture completely changes when it’s an assassin or a spy that is using the same path.

he’d understand in the end as much as he’d still hate to go through all the trouble or relearning the patrol pattens and all that and as much as he’d have to postpone his sneak outs because he’d need to reformulate a whole new sneaking out plan. though, he also honestly wished that miles would’ve a little more fun too, would at least think that as long as kiha was with him then it was ok if he was sneaking out around the palace and pretending that he isn’t a crown prince that needs to get married as soon as possible to guarantee the safety and prosperity of the kingdom.

but now kiha doesn’t have to think about any of it, can only enjoy the fact that he’s spending a little more time with his knight— that he’s about to make a chocolate cake that the youngest will never forget, that maybe miles will finally lower his guard a little regarding the walls of formality that he’s always putting between them.

the prince does laugh softly when miles offers his help. even though it’s a sincere offer, he still can see that the youngest is a little terrified of kiha actually accepting it and consequently ordering him around the kitchen because the knight was clearly out of his element then. “nah, it’s fine. i’ll let you know if i need anything.” because he’s still wondering, now that miles offered, if maybe he should let the other do small things like breaking eggs or getting the ingredients for him if they’re in a taller shell just so he won’t have to struggle to get them himself. “just remember to make sure no butter knives are after my neck.” he adds clearly teasing and making a reference to their previous conversation.

and it takes a couple of moments in silence before kiha is speaking again. “hey, miles,” he starts softly, almost shy, and doesn’t look at the knight just yet while he’s putting the dry ingredients into a bowl. “do you think i’m going to be a good king?” he can’t help but ask as much as that might be a little too much of a heavy topic for the peaceful atmosphere they have going on, for a night that is supposed to be about miles’ trying all these nice things that kiha is baking for him. “i’m not asking you as sire miles park, member of the royal guard and personal knight of the crown prince.” only then that he looks at miles. “but as just miles, my—” he bites his bottom lips, lowers his gaze for a moment before turning it back to the other. “my person, the one who knows me the best.” his tone becoming a little warmer, his voice a little gentler and soaked in deep rooted affection, but there’s also a hint of shyness in the confession like my person carries more than a simple platonic meaning.

     he does contemplate on whether or not he should report this route and have more guards patrolling the area, it would be unsafe to allow the prince of all people to wander about without supervision in the case that something happens to him. something that threatens his safety, that would jeopardise the future plans of the kingdom, simply because miles had chosen not to report something out of the softness he felt for the prince. but he also understands that everyone, including the prince, needed some time away from his own responsibilities— needed some time to himself, and even if that meant sneaking out in the middle of the night away from the guards. and who was miles to take that away from the prince? he lets the thought marinate a while longer.

     and he feels a little received that once they made it into the palace kitchen, that his offer to help the prince was turned down. a silent sigh of relief leaving from between his lips as he settles into the stool by the wall. he nods, feeling a little guilty that he was unable to help with anything but at the same time, also feels relieved that he wasn’t responsible of any possible arson. he was certain that the king wouldn’t allow him to pursue his goal of becoming a captain if he had arson under his list of crimes, let alone allow him to continue to protect the prince. 

     he nods as the prince instructs him to not allow any sharp utensils to chase after him, a smirk peering on his features as he shifts in his seat more comfortably. this was out of his domain, far from his comfort zone and in times like these, he truly ponders as to why he hadn’t listened to his mother and at least took some classes in cooking for the betterment of himself and for the kingdom as a general safety hazard rule. maybe in times like these, he could even offer the prince assistance. 

     he gazes around the kitchen, finding almost everything too dangerous for him to touch. his gaze only lands onto the prince again when the other starts to speak. his hues widening slightly as his gaze matches with kiha, do you think i’m going to be a good king? it takes him a moment for the question to fully sink in, unsure of where this was coming from. “well— yeah.” he starts, still a little bamboozled by the other’s choice of words. my person. what was that supposed to mean? a new level of subordination? “you’d be an excellent king, why wouldn’t you be?” he returns the question, doesn’t see any reason as to why the other wouldn’t be anything but brilliant as the future ruler of the kingdom. 

     “do you think i’ll be a good captain?” a scoff leaving him, already feeling some sort of defeat before he could even start on chasing after his father’s achievements as the past captain of the royal guards. 

[kcrtia]

KIHA

kiha feels a little hurt when miles doesn’t even seem to be listening to him, almost like he’s bored— like he didn’t mean it when he said that he liked liked kiha because now he’s acting almost like the main vocalist is just a fly buzzing on his ear, or even less than that because at least with a fly, miles would annoyed, would show any sort of reaction that wasn’t boredom bordering on apathy like he was doing then. it almost made kiha back away a little, made him question if he should really revisit his feelings for the other if this was how the youngest was going to act. he was expecting that maybe miles would realize that his feelings for kiha didn’t go that way, but he never would imagine it would happen so soon.

maybe it’s for the best, maybe this is the universe telling him that he and miles are fated to be friends and that’s how things are always going to be.

if the main vocalist has to be honest, his feathers are still a little ruffled through the rest of the shooting. as much as he feels like he and miles made up and finally cleared yet another grey cloud that was hovering over them for far too long, kiha can’t help but feel this nagging weight on the pit of his stomach, a never stopping voice on the background in his head telling him that he should’ve known better than to believe that miles was suddenly in love with him, telling him it was good that he re\lized that before kiha got too involved again and then was left as the one with the broken heart again.

the rest of the shooting just flies by and in the end kiha is a little more comfortable under his skin and in front of the camera as much as he’s still very much careful to not lean on miles like he usually does, to not touch the youngest unless it’s required of him or if it’s something extremely necessary. “i had a lot of fun today, and i hope the audience did too, thank you for having us!” is what he says for his own outro, making a forced laugh when the mcs also made a comment about fried chicken, that he shouldn’t forget to buy miles some when they get back to their dorm. but soon enough taesoo is already coming back to drive them to their next schedule.

“ah, just going to yuseong to finish some songs.” he answers, finally having access to his phone again now that they weren’t shooting anyway, checking it just so he’ll have an excuse to not look at miles. “probably going to spend the rest of day in the studio.” even if this time it’s mostly because he doesn’t know if he wants to be close to miles just yet, needs time to selfishly and very selfcenteredly lick his own wounds because the youngest confessed to him and then rejected him in less than one hour. he’s about to return the question to miles when the other mentions— “tokyo?” the main vocalist looks up from his phone, tightens his hold on the device, but his tone is still light when he speaks again. “good choice. kyoto is also nice during this time of the year.”

“ceo yoo might let you because we don’t have anything else for a good week, i think.” and then kiha looks back to his phone, trying his best to not sound as dismissive as he wants to.

     he doesn’t find any hope in kiha returning his feelings, is almost certain that whatever the other had said on live television was just to appease the situation. he was starting to doubt everything that was going on between them, knows that kiha probably was uncomfortable with the fact that he had a crush on the other and was now looking at him with a different light. and so, he figures that it’d just be best to ignore everything, to act as though none of it had happened, to push all those feelings aside and to act as though kiha was just like everyone else. it would be easier that way, he tries to convince himself.

     he wasn’t even sure that if things had happened well between them, that would even be able to carry out a relationship. after all, they were both men and being discreet about his feelings wasn’t going to be an easy task. miles was known to defend his opinions and make them known, but he wasn’t sure if falling for kiha was something he would ever be able to speak up about and confess with his chest. he figures that this would be for the better, to get his confession out into the open and to allow it to sit there until he was able to move past it. until he would be able to look kiha into the eye again without feeling like kiha was his entire world.

     and as they shuffle backstage, without the presence of the hosts— things seemed to simmer down just the slightest bit. he nods as kiha responds to his question about his schedule, “nice.” is all that he manages to say in response. considers truly booking a flight to tokyo anyway, regardless of what the ceo had to say, after all, it was only a three hour flight at most. if anything, he would be able to fly back to seoul in a matter of hours if ceo yoo truly needed him to be present— which he doubts. 

     “i could always tell ceo yoo i’m sick.” sick of the awkwardness that still lingers above their heads, even after their little spat on air. “okay, why—” he pauses because he’s unsure of how to bring it up, unsure of how to make it sound like he’s not trying to pick another fight after they’ve just wrapped ten other fights up. he lowers his voice, avoids trying to appear confrontational, “—why do i have a feeling that you don’t believe me?” brows knitting together slightly as he spoke, feels as though kiha didn’t take anything he had just said into consideration or perhaps the other didn’t take any of it seriously. “or is this you trying to act like nothing happened?” as much as miles wanted to act as though nothing happened, he’d at least wanted to be aware of the game plan the other was pursuing as to not further humiliate himself.