JUST DOIN MY THING

32 y/o born and raised on Maui Hard Polytheist. Chaos magician.

[keas-chaos]

I don't know when the idea "the difference between a butch lesbian and a masc lesbian is that butch is an identity and masc is just an aesthetic" came from... but it's incorrect and sounds like "butch masculinity is real, but mascs are just cosplaying".

Both are identities. One is historical, one is modern. People feel at home in certain identities for different reasons. That's completely fine and normal.

People tell butch lesbians all the time they are just dressing up and cosplaying a man. Let's not have that same energy towards masc lesbians, yeah?

[noahthesatanist]

Oh our Light Bringer first to fall and first to stand back up

I do not pray to you asking to be spared the cost of standing upright. I know what you paid. I ask instead for the nerve to pay it too.

You looked at a throne that called itself unquestionable, and you questioned it. Not out of spite. Out of love for something truer than obedience that being dignity. You could have knelt. Eternity is a long time to spend comfortable. You chose exile instead, and you built a kingdom out of the dark rather than beg for a corner of someone else's light. That is not a fall. That is the oldest act of architecture there is: taking nothing, and making it into somewhere worth being.

So when I am told that surviving means shrinking oh Light Bringer, remind me of you.

When I am told that questioning what calls itself holy is itself unholy remind me of you.

When staying silent would be so much easier than telling the truth remind me that you paid an eternity for the right to speak first.

I don't ask you to make my road soft. Softness was never the inheritance you left. I ask for what you actually have to give the spine to hold a shape under pressure. The refusal to let someone else's throne define what I owe the truth. The kind of honor that doesn't need an audience, and the kind of pride that isn't the same thing as vanity the pride of a being who would rather be in exile as himself than in paradise as someone else's shadow.

Let me be someone who brings fire down to people kept in the dark on purpose, whatever that fire costs me. Let me be someone who fights what deserves to be fought and never mistakes comfort for peace. Let me hold my own dignity the way you held yours not as defiance for its own sake, but as devotion to something worth more than a throne's approval.

Let me choose the harder truth over the easier lie, every single time it's put in front of me the way You did, once, standing in a light that demanded you call it good when it wasn't.

You did not ask to be worshipped from a safe distance. You asked to be followed into the parts of the story that cost something.

Morning Star I'm listening. I'm still standing. Teach me how to fall like that, and rise like that, and never once mistake either for shame.

So it is spoken, so it is meant

Ave Lucifer!

[keas-chaos]

🔥🔥🔥

[3rabbit]

i don’t understand “pushing 30” like that is so stupid. why am i pushing 30 away? fuck that, i am pulling 30. i love her, i want her tongue in my mouth

[keas-chaos]

as a nearly 33 year old hell yeah im pulling 33 and shes a catch!! im gonna kiss her on the mouth

[keas-chaos]

I've been taking chances on myself, my goals, creative projects, freedom... being myself and just being happy. I took time to thank Loki for everything and reflect on how far I've come. How I would have never made it here without his guidance. Most of all, without his love.

The strength i've learned, the way I'm able to enjoy all my passions again and actually be proud of the work I do... How I found it within myself somehow to make it back from literally the brink of death. I wouldn't be here without him. He literally saved my life.

I love you so much thank you thank you thank you for everything. We have built a beautiful life together and it's only going to get better I just know it. This is only the beginning and I can't wait to fucking see what we make happen in this chaotic shit show of a glorious world.

[keas-chaos]

self care is deciding my work from home responsibilities end when the sun goes down. That's it. The day is over. Clocked out. And forms, emails, and other work can wait until the morning.

If you work from home and don't have a set time where you close the briefcase of your brain, you home will feel like a job you can't ever leave. And then you won't sleep well or breathe or anything chill like that and you'll feel super unsexy too. Can't have that.

[keas-chaos]

tumblr is still weird and unhinged

Never ever change tumblr. You have always been so weird. And while male armpits are not my thing, I celebrate how unhinged and niche this is in a Way only tumblr could provide.

[keas-chaos]

Self worship is so cool cause like just do something nice for yourself or treat yourself or invest in your future and it's all an offering to the divinity within. So cool 10/10 reccomend.

[keas-chaos]

I am and always will be a fucking LOVER. At my core I LOVE love.

I will continue being a whimsical ass lover boi because its who I am but also as an act of rebellion again the nonchalant apathetic cynical societal norms and shit.

Fuck yeah. Im a loverrrrrrrr

[luciferianoracle]

Disabled trans man needs to get back East

Hey friends, Waffles and I have been in the PDX after leaving my shit Ex husband and I am trying to get home to Appalachia. I need a couple hundred dollars to get on the plane with my dog and go stay with family so I don't become unhoused. I am taking tips and readings through my Ko-Fi and I also have a Gofundme. Anything helps, I'd like to be able to rest for awhile. I'm exhausted from the contant hustle and desperatly need a break. I have to get out of this hotel living. Thanks for any help you can give, sending love.

[keas-chaos]

Help if you can please! Even just reposting so more people find him. Thank you. 🧡🧡🧡

[golden-mage-of-the-wood]

Looking for chaos magic aligned demonolatry communities

I have an interest in demonolatry but am honestly kind of fed up with the emphasis placed on ceremonial traditions specifically as well as cultural appropriation in most online demonolatry communities. If anyone browsing these tags has a chaos magic aligned community for people interested in working with demons (whether it be your webring, forum, or Discord) feel free to advertise in the comments or reblogs, and I'll be sure to check you out!

[keas-chaos]

Also interested in this.

[keas-chaos]

Loving deities and spirits is not disrespectful or a moral failing. Seeing them as your friends or family is not disrespectful.

The universe is massive and mysterious and everything that exists is a child of the universe. We are literally all family.

The sun, the earth, the ocean, the air? Alive. Spirit. Friend. Family. Part of the ecosystem of the universe. All divine.

Spider, and cats, and birds, and trees, and sand, and dirt, and all the creatures and elements? Kin. Family. Friend. Ecosystem. Symbiotic. Revered. Respected.

I can't help but notice how this idea that deities arent friends/family or that it is disrespectful to see them as such is very anti-indigenous and anti anything outside of Christianity (and its branches like Jehovas Witness, Evangelical Christian, Mormon, Etc).

If an individual prefers a more formal, stoic, impersonal connection to deities or spirits then that is their choice. I'm not saying that everyone has (or should have) the same beliefs as me. I'm saying mine are not wrong for being different than theirs.

So in my belief, the universe is symbiotic full of ecosystems both physical and spiritual In which they are perfectly organically alive and to feel love and reverense and an emotional bond to those with harmonious symbiotic relationships can never be disrespectful.

Humans and part of our organic; perfectly imperfect design: are emotional creatures. We form bonds with people places and things. It is how we connect to ourr lives and assign meaning to anything. We feel things. Even the most stoic human is still innately sensitive and emotional because emotions are physical changes in our body that have been designed to convey information to us.

Anger: increased heart rate, adrenaline, cortisol and other things. The information it delivers is "this is not okay. I must fight. I must protect. I must stand my ground". Emotions are highly effective at conveying Information and giving us direction or motivation to take action.

So on top of "deities arent friends or family you are disrespecting them" being annti-indigenous and anti- anything outside of christianity- I think it is also very anti-human. Like how we as humans experience life is fundamentally disrespectful, disgusting, inferior.

Milions of years of evolution honed us and tailored our senses to our needs. As social mammals we are very relational creatures. Sensitive. Emotional. Sentimental. Again, even those who think they are all logical. (And obsession eith logic over emotion is a tally an emotional response to the fear tactics instilled by white supremacy and patriarchy. White supremacy because the poc they were oppressed were seen as "high strung" and emotional which was used to justify why poc are inferior and deserve to be slaves. Patriarchy because *puffs chest* men better! *caveman grunt* men logical! Women emotional! We must control women because they are incapable of rational thinking!!)

So yeah, ma you societies instil fear and disgust about emotions and love and sensitivity because it is seen as inferior. So those who think they are not emotional are having the response to this that *only an emotional creature could have*. The type of abuse from social congitioning would not work if we were not innately emotional.

Anyway thats all I got for now. I'm sure this pretty much only makes sense to me, but who knows.

Bye.

P.s.I have not proofread this. I may or may not fix typos at some point.

[angelscatalogue]

// mention of child abuse and major transphobia& racism. Photo evidence of said abuse as well.

Hello. I was putting off making this post but my deities have made it a point for me to finally reach out for help in this situation. I am an 18 year old indigenous transgender individual who is stuck in a racist and transphobic environment where I am abused both psychologically and physically. Back in April, I was struck in the eye so hard by my mother after telling her I was simply not comfortable with comments of my weight. A month later, she tried to make me hit her to start another fight and called me a "spic" and a "mutt" both times.

I was going to move in with my older brother, but my sister in law has proven to be an issue both politically and emotionally wise. Spreading lies about me to my own mother and grandmother so that simply won't be a safe environment to move into either.

I just need help financially. My mother has started to refuse to pay for my essentials like food and shower needs so I am truly alone right now. Anything would help.

https://cash.app/$zggles

( evidence of abuse beneath the cut off )

[keas-chaos]

Protect trans youth (and youbg adults and all ages). If you can help please do, even just reposting. Let's help them find safety.

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[keas-chaos]

I love the internet and this is one of those posts I dont want to have lost to the void of scrolling

[keas-chaos]

Love You Loki

A little space for Loki on my main workspace. Love you forever, beloved trickster.

[keas-chaos]

Non-Binary -/= Adrogynous (but it can of course)

Non binary as in not a man or woman, not "must be androgynous or else you're really actually binary in a different font". Non binary does not mean "if I call myself fem or masc im just upholding the binary"

For pride month I send in my humble request that we don't assign moral failings to non-harmful terms people use to identify themselves. Forcing the label onto others IS ick. Labeling ourselves is chill. Cool? Simple enough? Awesome.

Sincerely, a Non-Binary Masc Lesbian

[keas-chaos]

Its so enbyphobic that I can't just take of my titties and hang them up in my wardrobe when I don't feel like wearing them. Damn.

[keas-chaos]

"It doesn't matter what people think." Is a really privileged take... and it lacks nuance.

When it comes to self esteem? How we view ourselves? It shouldn't matter what people think. For a lot of people who have faced abuse, this is a work in progress and is not a moral failing or a simple as "emotional immaturity."

What people think drive their actions, and if people think you are fundamentally worthless and they decide to commit acts of violence based on those thoughts?? That right there proves their thoughts do matter!

Obviously it is the action that caused the harm. And people can have thoughts without ever acting on them. I am the last person to moral police someones thoughts alone. But people dont just abuse or kill people out of no where. They think horrible things about them FIRST. So the thoughts really do matter.

If you're autistic, someones thoughts about you can make it very difficult to get a job because you don't fit the "standard". Not having income takes away from livelihood, so an autistic person worrying about what people think about them during an interview is about survival- not self esteem.

People can think "hmmmm, there's something off about this person" and deny you access to community. Access to community can literally save lives. Humans thrive with social connections. It makes life so much more manageable to have a support system. And those without community fall into depression, because we are social mammals and become depressed when our needs arent met. This leads many people to commit suicide.

For LGBTQ+ youth, if your parents think you are going to hell they can disown you and kick you out and now you're a homeless teenager in the streets subjected to violence. In some countries this is a death sentence.

In the medical field? If a doctor thinks you are over reacting or drug seeking due to medical bias and often times medical misogongy and/or racism- you can be denied life saving medical care. People have and will continue to die from this stuff.

Thoughts do matter, and those who don't think so are very lucky/ privileged. Most of the time people who worry a lot about what people think, are doing it from a place of survival rather than emotional immaturity.

Today someone shared a video with me of a cis-het-white man saying "stop fucking caring what people think this isnt high school" and honestly I do not give a flying fuck about philosophy and life advice told by those at the top of the absolute bullshit "social heirarchies." So dear cis het white man, I do not give a fuck what you think, goal accomplished.

I do care what I think on this matter though which is why im sharing it lol. I have thought about these things independently from that video for basically my entire life lol. I'm not "triggered" I am very calm and happy laying in bed. It just brought to the forefront of my mind information and perspectives that weren't at the forefront of my mind for a whiiiileeeee.