I know I am a foreigner in Israel...

[keelou-stam]

When it's the first rocket alarm in Tel Aviv and I see you dropping your last perfectly spiced salmon avocado sushi bite.

(Avishay Prz)

[keelou-stam]

When there are rocket alarms in Israel and all I am thinking about are my chances to meet my hot neighbor topless in the shelter. 

Lorsqu'il y a des alertes à la bombe en Israel et mon seul espoir est de revoir mon voisin nu dans l'abri. 

[keelou-stam]

When I went to the grocery store  to ask if they were selling 'kaki' by the kilo (which is the french translation for persimmon). Hard way to discover what is the hebrew word for 'poop'...

Lorsque je suis allée chez le vendeur de légumes pour acheter un kilo de 'kakis'. Seulement kaki en hébreu ça veut dire... caca. Dommage. 

[keelou-stam]

Because if I don't stop eating falafels I'm going to start looking like one. 

[keelou-stam]

When the asshole that stole my bike wasn't able to break the lock so he saw the pole.

Lorsque le connard qui m'a volé mon vélo n'a pas été capable de briser l'antivol alors il a tout simplement scié le poteau.

[keelou-stam]

When Maccabi Tel-Aviv  won and I instantaneously became the most Israeli person on Kikar Rabin

Lorsque Maccabi Tel Aviv a gagné et que je suis instantanément devenue l'israélienne la plus fière du Kikar Rabin

[keelou-stam]

When I thought that after 2 years in Israel I'll be fluent in hebrew

Lorsque j'ai cru qu'après deux ans en israël je parlerais hébreu couramment

[keelou-stam]

When I have a date and he comes in uniform

Lorsque j'ai un rendez-vous galant et qu'il vient en uniforme

[keelou-stam]

When I notice Israeli guys reaction as they see German girls are attending the party

[keelou-stam]

When I asked my sisters to check the bruise on 'my behind' after my first practice with the Tel Aviv Derby Girls! 

[keelou-stam]

How I honestly feel about it

more infos: https://www.facebook.com/TLVDerbyGirls?fref=ts

[keelou-stam]

When the scale revealed that Natalie Portman's "humus diet'' was a scam 

[keelou-stam]

When I walk out Cellcom's customer service

[keelou-stam]

When I need to be psychologically prepared before letting the -not so gentle- russian lady do my waxing.

[keelou-stam]

When Israeli guys try to kiss me at the first date

[keelou-stam]

When I wake up next to a dude in a princess costume. #purim

[keelou-stam]

When I moved from the suburb to Center Tel Aviv

Lorsque j'ai déménagé de la banlieue à Tel Aviv