Winter is such a hard time of year. Even without seasonal depressy feels.
The holidays are too stressful. There is too much pressure, too much guilt, too much stress. Being poly does NOT make that any easier.
My parents know that Iâm poly. My mom accepts it but doesnât really get it. My dad told me it is disgusting and not to bring it around his family. So explaining that my partner will likely only be joining me for one or the other of my familiesâ Christmases feels difficult. I know they donât understand. And Iâm so afraid that they are going to judge my partner for that. Or feel like my relationship is lesser and that Iâm not valued enough by my partner. Iâm afraid that they are going to judge him for always having another partner when Iâve only had one and not for that long.
Iâm going to lie. Iâm going to say heâs stuck working because I canât deal with my parents potentially thinking less of my partner for it. I hate it. I hate it so much. It feels so dishonest to MYSELF. And I am having such a hard time reasoning with that. On TOP of wishing that he would be there for both.
I hate that Iâm so uncomfortable with just the possibility of judgement. I hate that Iâm going to lie to them and I hate that I even feelthe need to lie. I try to tell myself that it doesnt matter what others thinkâŚ. but this is someone I am going to be spending my life with⌠iâm afraid more of what my family will think of him, and I fucking hate that so much.
Now that I have ranted and ranted, I donât even know how to conclude this.
So Iâll just leave it at thisâŚ
For any poly folks who have a tough time on the holidays, you are NOT alone <3
Yes to this ^
But also this >>>
Let's be loving and healthy together: Blood of the covenant Is Thicker Than Water of the womb
